Banabam
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Summary
Ivan had loved Till for awhile. Ever since they trained together to be idols alongside the rest of Alien Stage.
He loved Till despite the fact that Till wouldn't ever love him back.
... So tell him why this connects with him throwing up flowers right after a performance?
Bookmarked by Banabam
20 Jul 2026
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"Who?" Till's voice came out choked, barely audible. "Who is it, Ivan?"
Shame burned in Ivan's cheeks in contrast to the cold dread coiling in his chest. Each ragged breath felt like sandpaper against his raw vocal cords. "It's..." he started, then trailed off, the confession caught in his throat like another blooming petal.
Something flickered in Till's eyes. "Ivan, please," he pleaded, his voice cracking. "Just tell me. We can figure out something, they can love you back, you will be fine-" The desperation in Till's voice, raw and open, sent a fresh wave of pain through Ivan. He wanted nothing more than to confess but the words refused to leave his mouth.
aka
ivantill hanahaki au where they both know and still nothing changes because you can’t force anyone to fall in love and while till loves ivan, he isn’t IN love with him and the guilt kills him just the same as the flowers do for ivan. that I talked about on twitter yesterday (actually today at 12:46 am but close enough)
Series
- Part 4 of Ivantill brainrotting
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 5,029
- Chapters:
- 1/1
- Collections:
- 1
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- 149
- Kudos:
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- Bookmarks:
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Bookmarked by Banabam
20 Jul 2026
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Even if all of this was just practice for Mizi, even if it’s just an elaborate scheme specially designed to leave him heartbroken, even if it was just a ploy only a fool would fall for.
Ivan figured that he was nothing, if not a fool.
—
‘Everything’s all right, even if it’s not for me at least it’s my arms he’s in. Even if it’s not love, at least it’s close.’
Bookmarked by Banabam
19 Jul 2026
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Summary
The rebels find Ivan, as young as he was during round 6, in a forgotten storage unit and bring him home.
But to Ivan, it’s not so much a home but rather just another means of survival, despite how good it seems with an older and much more affectionate Till acting otherwise.
Because while Till had a whole 7 years to come to terms with his trauma, Ivan is still 22 years old, lost and scared as he always was.
Or
Ivan learns what ‘family’ means with some hiccups along the way.
Bookmarked by Banabam
19 Jul 2026
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Summary
"So stop deciding my feelings for me. I get to decide that." Till muttered near his ear, "You’ve been smiling and hiding for years.... convincing yourself you’re not worthy of being loved.. that i don't want you..."
Ivan felt his breath hitch at Till's tone, struggling to maintain his composure— if there was even any left. No matter how hard his mind tried to reason or fight, his body had already submitted to Till.
Because deep down
He always wanted this.
"I’m gonna fuck that bullshit out of you.” Till needs Ivan to hear him. And if he can’t? then he’ll make sure Ivan feels him. "and I’m going to make sure this thoughts never crosses your stupid head again.”Or Till gains an ability to read Ivan's mind.
Bookmarked by Banabam
17 Jul 2026