Ahtamar



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    “They need to return to a conference based system,” Svetlana said, slamming her hand against the table. “It was fucking fine the way it was, why are we handing out participation trophies to shitty divisions?”

    Ilya raised his eyebrows from where he hovered in the kitchen, cracking open another Red Bull.

    “This is fun,” he said, deadpanned. “You guys should start a podcast or something. I would not listen, you are both terribly boring.”

    * * *

    Or, after an injury on the ice forces Shane into an early retirement, he and Svetlana start a podcast.

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    08 Jul 2026

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    TMZ @TMZ
    Trouble in paradise? First Husbands of Hockey, Shane Hollander and Ilya Rozanov, spotted having a tense-looking debrief in their sprinter van right after leaving a fundraising event for the Ottawa Children’s Hospital. The couple appeared strained, sitting with quite a distance between them despite giving the appearance of being all over each other earlier in the night. Fans are wondering, is this the end of their chaotic “love story.”

    - or -

    Shane's getting really tired of people talking shit about his husband.

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    07 Jul 2026

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    Hazy: Happy birthday, Roz!

    Bood: Happy birthday, Cap!

    Barrett: Happy birthday!!

    Dykstra: It’s your birthday!

    Haas: Happy birthday, Captain! You are the most wonderful hockey player and leader, and I hope today is your best birthday yet ❤️

    Ilya: Well, it’s not, so your wishes mean nothing.

    Bood: Okay. Well.
    Bood: Looks like we are feeling a bit dramatic today.

    Hazy: Do you want to expand, or how can we best support you?

    Ilya: I will expand even though it is incredibly painful to do so.

    Barrett: Oh, goody.

    Ilya: My husband.
    Ilya: Shane Hollander.
    Ilya: The supposed love of my life.
    Ilya: The holder of my heart and half of my assets.
    Ilya: The future father of my children and feeder of my dog.
    Ilya: Forgot my birthday.

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    07 Jul 2026

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    Shane Hollander loves playing for the Ottawa Centaurs. Leaving Montreal, as painful as it had been, really has been one of the best decisions he’s ever made.

    He gets to play with his husband. He’s supported at all levels, from upper management down to the most casual of fans, and his teammates are genuinely kind and lovely people who care about him and his life and are invested in his well-being.

    Considering where he came from, Shane thinks it’s wonderful to work with such caring players who want what’s best for him and notice things about his life. It's really, really great.

    Until it isn’t, of course.

    “Hollander, what the fuck is that on your face?” Zane Boodram asks in the locker room while they’re changing for game five of the first round of playoffs.

    ___

    Or Shane has a mysterious rash, and his teammates are very concerned.

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    07 Jul 2026

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    [Ilya Rozanov yawns and stretches shirtless in his kitchen. Pajama pants hang low on his waist, and his hair is rumpled from sleep. He smiles and waves at the camera, and when he comes closer, he leans down so his face is level with the camera, his eyes bright even though he’s obviously tired.]

    Ilya: Good morning! It is ass o’clock, and I hate that I am awake, but today you are going to spend the day with me and my boyfriend. And I know what you are thinking, ‘what man could possibly be worthy of you, Ilya?’ and I get it. I ask myself this every day, but my boyfriend is very wonderful, even if he is much, much less famous than me and not nearly as good at hockey, and I think it’s about time you all get to know him. So, yay boyfriend reveal! And now I’m going to make him his disgusting breakfast smoothie, and then bring you along for our day together because my friend Harris Drover says I need more content on the internet, and what better way to do that than to tell you I’m bi, and that I have a boyfriend, and show you how disgustingly in love we are?

    [Ilya straightens so that his bare torso is the only thing in the frame, his abs flexing as he reaches over to turn on the blender.]

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    07 Jul 2026