2flying_kiwi
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Summary
After seventeen years abroad, Sirius Black returns to Britain for his godson’s birthday.
He's surprised to find his godson dating a woman who bears a striking resemblance to a witch no one but Sirius Black remembers.
After all, it’s hard to forget the face of the woman you killed.
- Language:
- English
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- 7,743
- Chapters:
- 1/1
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- 1
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Bookmarked by 2flying_kiwi
03 Aug 2025
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Summary
“In my humble opinion there’s only three things that men should be and that is bloody, slutty, and pathetic.” And, on a good day, Draco Malfoy can be all three.
When war heroine Hermione Granger and Azkaban-tattooed war criminal Draco Malfoy are forced to wed as part of Shacklebolt’s controversial Reconciliation Act, they openly fight the match and each other—their public brawls breathlessly reported by the press.
Secretly, a deeply traumatized Draco delights in Hermione’s attention and pines for a real marriage with her—even as her forced proximity to the Black family magic irritates the cursed scar Bellatrix left on her arm, reminding her why she can never truly trust or forgive him. Then Hermione discovers that Draco’s blood will soothe the scar . . . and Draco is willing to trade his blood for her body.
(With post-war blood purity politics, black market potioneers, Pansy Parkinson’s career advice, the Malfoys blackmailing Hermione’s Wizengamot opposition, BDE Neville Longbottom hunting Death Eaters, a slutty Theo Nott serving as Draco’s right-hand man, and Crookshanks loose in Malfoy Manor.)
Series
- Part 1 of THE BLOODY, SLUTTY, AND PATHETIC SERIES
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 195,969
- Chapters:
- 21/21
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- 7,523
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Bookmarked by 2flying_kiwi
01 Jun 2025
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Summary
In 1935, Hermione Granger meets a boy in an orphanage who despises fairy stories, liars, and mediocrity. He offers her a deal of mutual convenience, and soon a tentative friendship forms between them—if Tom would ever lower himself to call anyone a "friend".
But whatever they have, it's something special, and if there's anyone who can appreciate Specialness, it's Tom Riddle.
1930's-40's Childhood Friends AU.
Series
- Part 1 of Birds of a Feather
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 587,960
- Chapters:
- 62/62
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- 9
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- 4,290
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Bookmarked by 2flying_kiwi
23 Nov 2024
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When the Ministry passes the Marriage Law, Hermione doesn't leave her fate to chance. It's supposed to be a mutually beneficial arrangement with the last surviving male Black heir. She's got everything perfectly under control.
***
Sirius raised the cigar back to his mouth and clamped it between two rows of white teeth, now bared at her in a wide grin. “You’re fucking with me, aren’t you, poppet?”
“No, I’m not.” The seriousness in her tone sounded almost hard, even to her own ears. He was behaving as though this was all just a joke, and she sat up straighter in response, shaking her hair back. “Look, it’s really very simple. The law says that for the purposes of integration, all Muggleborns need to be married to a Pureblood. I’m a Muggleborn, and you’re a Pureblood.” She shrugged with nonchalance, but her hands twisted in her lap. “And—” she added with emphasis “—you owe Harry.”
He raised an eyebrow and gestured at her with the tip of his cigar. His signet ring glinted with orange light from the dancing flames, and she could see the faded black and green ink of his tattoos rippling over his knuckles. “You’re not Harry.”
She shrugged again and gazed at him pointedly. “You owe me too, Sirius.”
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 48,960
- Chapters:
- 9/9
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- 9
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- 331
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Bookmarked by 2flying_kiwi
11 Dec 2023
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Summary
In theory, the task is simple: kill Draco Malfoy. In practice, putting a curse through the Dark Lord's favoured lieutenant will take everything Hermione has―especially since he's trying to kill her, too. Even more so when the lines between them start to blur. Sometimes, the only way out is through.
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 263,110
- Chapters:
- 51/51
- Collections:
- 10
- Comments:
- 3,306
- Kudos:
- 9,756
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- 4,563
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- 759,774
Bookmarked by 2flying_kiwi
22 Oct 2023