Down the mountain range of my left-side brain
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Tyler has epilepsy. After he is diagnosed his entire world changes.
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After years of friendship, Josh has come to know Tyler. He knows the little tell tale signs when Tyler is uncomfortable, how he tuggs at his hair with that specific, odd rhythm Josh picked up immediately because he's a drummer and because he's Tyler's best friend.
He knows Tyler can go quiet in at least four different ways.
He knows that Tyler's favorite word is catharsis.
Josh also knows when Tyler is about to have a seizure.
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Funny how loving someone who’s chronically ill, who’s disabled, is always seen as an act of love, of selfless charity. No one ever asks disabled people what it feels like to love someone who’s able-bodied. What it feels like to love someone who enjoys that portion of normality you don’t have, that one bit of safety you’ll never have. The part you hate and love and miss, all at the same time.
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His parent’s house has never looked much like a lighthouse. More like a paper latern: pretty in its transparency, promising in its clarity, but one wrong step and the entire space is ablaze. Devoured by the light that was meant to guide you along the way.
Tyler stands in the driveway. He eyes the building. Behind closed curtains and doors, muffled voices melt into the dark sky. They vanish like hot water poured out on a frozen lake.
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Outside, the world unfolds under a vast blue winter sky. In the hospital, time folds onto itself.
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This is basically just fluff because I needed to write something to cheer myself up.
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He's got two lives, two selves he's presenting to the world. "Healthy" Tyler who puts on a mask and says he's okay, he's fine over and over again until his jaw muscles freeze from smiling. And then there's the Tyler he doesn't allow anyone to see.
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This fic fits right between "nothing good comes from being gone" and "this is my loss of love, my loss of limb." It's about Tyler's experience on an acute psychiatric ward.
I originally had planned to write this story in one go but changed my mind and decided to write chapters as I go along. I don't know how frequent or long the updates are going to be because my brain tends to spiral out of control but I'll try my best.
This story has a HUGE trigger warning for suicidal thoughts, self-harm and everything else related to self-destruction. This fic could also be triggering for anyone who has been to an acute psychiatric ward or anyone who has been in some kind of acute mental health crisis. Please be cautious.
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Socializing has never been his strong suit and right here, right now Tyler feels like he's about to break down.
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Tyler decides to play music again and is confronted with his memories - those he wants to keep and those he'd like to forget.
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This is a one shot. Big trigger warning for self harm. Don't read if you're feeling unwell or are triggered easily.
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A new story, it just fell out of me.
Trigger warning for some darker bits (mainly self-harm/anxiety)
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I gave this story everything I had inside of me, the fear in my heart, the joy.... writing is such a big part of dealing with my epilepsy which is resistant to drugs and difficult to treat, let alone live with. Knowing that other people care about my stories means so, so much to me. A big thank you to my loyal readers!
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This story has a big trigger warning for self-harm, suicidal thoughts and depression. Take care.
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Hi everyone,
So this piece fell out of me. I am working on a longer update for the series but I wanted to post this story first. I'm going through a rough patch with my health, writing this story was difficult and yet it remains important to me.
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This one has big trigger warning for self-harm, suicidal thoughts and behavior. Please do not read if you are triggered easily.
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At the medical supply store, Tyler is hit by a seizure. Josh is there to care for him.
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During one night, Tyler’s seizures strike again. Josh starts to doubt himself.
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