Sex Bloopers
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Listing Series
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The Dark Clouds Passed Me By by whetherwoman for olivebranchesandredwine
Fandoms: Schitt's Creek
14 Jul 2019
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Prompt from olivebranchesandredwine, hope this (somehow) helps your day get a little better. ❤️
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- Part 1 of Sex Bloopers
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“I thought you were supposed to be sick,” Patrick said, putting down the juice and chicken soup he’d just brought home. “Was it all just a ploy to get out of working today, then?”
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- Part 3 of Sex Bloopers
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gotta make a big impression by thegrayness for whetherwoman, olive2read, oh_la_fraise
Fandoms: Schitt's Creek
20 Jul 2019
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David and Patrick are interrupted in the middle of several rounds of loud sex. Seems their neighbors actually try to sleep at night.
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- Part 4 of Sex Bloopers
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“Listen,” David says, carefully pulling the inflating tab on his neck pillow, “there is an art to red eye flights.”
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- Part 5 of Sex Bloopers
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David and Patrick are at airport security, leaving for their honeymoon, when the agents notice a strange buzzing from Patrick's suitcase. Poor Patrick has packed some non-TSA approved sexy surprises and gets very publically busted.
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- Part 6 of Sex Bloopers
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“Okay, no. We are not doing this. I draw the line at toothpaste innuendo in your great aunt’s bathroom, Patrick.”
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- Part 8 of Sex Bloopers
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Patrick and David are celebrating Valentine's Day.
Slight angst.Series
- Part 9 of Sex Bloopers
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David is in a cast, bratty Patrick wants what he wants. How can they manage for 2-3 months without their normal, sexual fun?
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- Part 10 of Sex Bloopers
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Starting a new business is difficult, and if anyone knows this, it’s Ray. He just wants to help. An organized closet won’t fix everything, but it will ‘box up life’s unnecessary stress,’ as is says on Closets by Ray’s Facebook page.
So that’s why Ray is standing in Patrick’s closet at midday on a Thursday: he’s strategizing, so he can come up with a definite plan for the space before he pitches the idea to Patrick.
Patrick’s room actually has a much nicer closet than the master bedroom. It’s larger, for one thing, and has better lighting. The door is made of wood slats, which adds texture and interest to the room. Once it’s properly organized, it will look great on the Facebook page.
Lost in thought, Ray doesn’t realize someone is in the house until he hears Patrick’s footsteps on the stairs.
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- Part 12 of Sex Bloopers
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"Role play is difficult for me because I feel like the person I'm role playing with actually has to be a good actor. If the person isn't ... 'dropped in' to the character, then I have a very hard time connecting." - David Rose
David and Stevie try role playing and David has a lot of opinions. (Based on a webisode.)
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- Part 14 of Sex Bloopers
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David and Patrick get home from their awesome concert date and some sex play ensues. Also, David “loses” a sex toy, you’ll have to read to figure that one out. This is a nod to a friend, btw.
This is a strong E, but there’s a lot of love and affection.
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- Part 15 of Sex Bloopers
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“Well?” Patrick raises his eyebrows so they match the arc of his smile, with the high point in the middle. David is dismayed to realize that no amount of kissing that smirk off his face will deter Patrick from this line of questioning.
An unexpected night of privacy after Asbestos Fest causes a change of plans and David has feelings about it.
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- Part 17 of Sex Bloopers
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Title and inspiration for this story comes from Taylor Swift’s “You’re in Love”.
David is reading his book and Patrick uses a tried and true method to get David to stop. It’s just a bunch of fluff.
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- Part 18 of Sex Bloopers
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David gives Stevie a vibrator for being his "best human" in his wedding. Stevie can't wait to try it out and finds she got more than she bargained for.😏
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- Part 19 of Sex Bloopers
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David drunkenly forgets to remove his rings before sexy times with Patrick.
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- Part 20 of Sex Bloopers
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David and Patrick make the most of the private messaging function on Zoom during a period of separation during lockdown. But there's something they're forgetting....
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- Part 22 of Sex Bloopers