Comment on The Sun, The Taxidermy, The Wings (태양, 박제, 날개)

  1. A Writing Critic (Guest) on Chapter 4 Sun 22 Feb 2026 12:12PM UTC

    As someone who works as a professional writer, I will tell you why you may be in a slump in five words:
    Your writing is too complicated.
    I mean, just look at this. Your prose is so purple, the doctor's are still checking to see if it choked to death. Not even the greatest gardens in all of human mythology could hold a handle to the amount of overblown, flowery language being used here. If this were for an original piece of writing in a different setting, it may be easier, but this isn't that—this is a fanfic to OMORI.
    Your writing and style of narrative, strange, looks like it's all over the place, and worthy of praise for how much it dabbles in postmodernism and metamodernism, but this kind of beast is something that goes over most people's heads and they will be quick to lose track of the story because of how technical and complex the writing is.
    This is a masterclass display of writing being used for cheap entertainment, and that may be why you are in a slump and thinking to yourself that it isn't good. Let it be known that I don't mince words and I mean what I say when I say this work has shown me you have the makings of a wildly good writer that could work well with a weird setting and concept.

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    1. A Writing Critic (Guest) on Chapter 4 Sun 22 Feb 2026 05:07PM UTC

      Not even the greatest gardens in all of human mythology could hold a [candle] to the amount of overblown, flowery language being used here.

      Your writing and style of narrative [is strange], looks like it's all over the place, and worthy of praise for how much it dabbles in postmodernism and metamodernism, but this kind of beast is something that goes over most people's heads and they will be quick to lose track of the story because of how technical and complex the writing is.

      I said I was a professional writer—I never said I was any good at it.

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