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Vignettes from the (Almost) Relationship of Two (Entirely) Oblivious Men by StrangeMatter (Pam)
Fandoms: Marvel Cinematic Universe, Doctor Strange (Movies), Iron Man (Movies), The Avengers (Marvel Movies)
22 Jan 2026
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Summary
Wong saw something and wishes he didn’t. Pepper just wants some peace for once. Bruce is baffled, while Clint thinks it’s hilarious. Rhodey is endlessly patient. Thor, meanwhile, is ready to throw them a wedding.
Tony and Stephen? They kiss about it. You know, experimentally.
Because, as we all know, "The flower that blooms in adversity is the most rare and beautiful of all."-
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https://archiveofourown.org/works/78120171
Vignettes from the (Almost) Relationship of Two (Entirely) Oblivious Men by StrangeMatter (Pam)-
"He sprayed himself from the Chalice of the Emperor and it dissolved his t-shirt," Strange deigned to half-answer."And he remained shirtless because…?"
"Because he is learning his lesson, right, Stark?" Strange shouted, causing Wong to suppress a wince.
"Fuck you too, Strange!" came back a cheery yell from the kitchen. Just what Wong needed to round out the evening.
--
Tony and Doctor Strange were… not exactly standing there, at the table. No, they were almost entwined with each other.Clint stood to the side, leaning on the wall with his eyes glued on them, munching steadily on a fistful of something—cookies maybe.
Bruce simply had to ask.
"What are they doing? Is he… climbing the Doctor?"
Clint, eyes still on the action, made a shushing motion. He swallowed his bite hastily, then murmured from the corner of his mouth, "Strange is holding the fries out of Stark’s reach. He wanted to steal a second one from him, but Strange isn’t having it."
At that moment, the… fight? Yes, that’s what it was. The fight escalated. Tony cried out.
"Ow, you scratched me! Your bling is dangerous!"
Strange immediately stopped the keep away.
"Drat, I’m sorry. Are you bleeding? Let me see."
"Ha!" With a triumphant shout, Tony grabbed the now attainable fries and danced away crowing about his victory.
Strange tried to reclaim his long-lost dignity and sniffed.
"You are such a child! I didn’t want them anyway."
--
..He finished his drink, reclined on the sofa and poked Tony in the side. Tony looked up with a mock frown."So, when were you going to tell me that you and Strange are dating?"
"What?” Tony was apparently still half lost in his designs. He blinked at Rhodes in confusion. “Sorry, who’s doing what now?" he added.
"You. Strange. Dating," Rhodes repeated patiently.
Tony’s eyebrows shot up, and his eyes widened in incredulity.
"What?"
--
Thor was grinning from ear to ear. At last, he had cornered the mighty Wizard Doctor alone. The training room was not the most festive of places, but it mattered not. He needed to share his happiness. His shield-brother had found a worthy mate!"Your courting has been most splendid, Wizard of the Infinite Beer! I have both witnessed and heard about your rituals, drawing awe throughout all the stages tradition dictates!” Thor had been present for the courting dance and had heard various accounts about shared meals and proud displays of prowess. “Your handfasting shall be a feast to be remembered for generations!"
The Wizard slowly put down the towel he was holding, his piercing gaze flicking over Thor as if searching for answers to a riddle.
"My what?" he asked solemnly, his stately manner, as always, contrasting his slight form.
Thor decided to elucidate.
"Drink shall flow like the Hvergelmir! Songs shall be sung about the heroic deeds and valor of your Stark husband and of yourself! Our praise of your virility shall resound in the farthest edges of the Nine Realms!"
The Wizard’s gaze locked onto Thor’s. He looked like a man barely containing his amazement. His voice trembled with passion as he answered.
"My what?!"
--
The small meeting room was silent. If there were a clock on the wall, the ticking kind, it would have provided perfect sound effects for the grave atmosphere. Two men stood at opposite ends of the room, studiously avoiding each other’s gazes."It has come to my attention that… we’re giving the wrong impression," Tony began, breaking the silence. "Or are we?"
--
"That depends," Stephen replied, his tone careful. "What impression would you be comfortable with?"Tony rolled his eyes. He took a few steps to close the distance between them.
"I’m one hundred percent immune to being uncomfortable with whatever impression I’m creating. The question is, what’s behind the impression?"
"I’m not against there being something meaningful behind the impression." Stephen said, his voice entirely steady and confident. It gave a nice emphasis to the pink creeping up his neck.
Tony was reluctantly charmed.
"Good. I’m going to kiss you now. Experimentally. Any objections?" Tony too projected maybe more confidence than he was feeling.
--
Tony’s lips tingled. A pleasant shiver ran through him, followed by a slow heat spreading from his core."Trial one: success," he declared. "Let’s move this somewhere more comfortable. We need to draw up a whole new research plan."
And so they did.
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A Strange Lid for a Special Pot by StrangeMatter (Pam)
Fandoms: Doctor Strange (Movies), Marvel Cinematic Universe
09 Jul 2025
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Summary
Tony thought he’d seen it all—until Stephen Strange started leaving him bizarre presents. Is it a prank? A magical flex? Or something much stranger (and more romantic) than Tony expected?
- Language:
- English
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- 2,735
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- 1/1
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- 1
- Comments:
- 9
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- 89
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- 13
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https://archiveofourown.org/works/67251718
A Strange Lid for a Special Pot by StrangeMatter (Pam)Facepalming. Okay so yes Stephen definitely should have made it more then obvious. At the same time Tony appears to have the talent of jumping to the wrong conclusions
At least he reached the right one eventually lol
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Summary
There is no name for this coffee shop. In a fit of caffeine-induced anxiety and rage, Tony has decided, “Fuck this, it’s just going to be called ‘The Coffee Shop.’ What the fuck else do you need to know?”
Tony decides that SI can survive without him, but a late-night coffee shop needs to be opened. Tony also does not shut up about being a small business owner.
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https://archiveofourown.org/works/48704161
The Coffee Shop by lovelyirony-
“You’re supposed to take over a company.”“And?” Tony says. “I was also supposed to keep my parents but they died in a car accident.”
“Okay, bad move to use your dead parents against me, you know that.”
“I think, actually, that I just made a great move,” Tony answers. “Because now you can’t feel bad about my choice.”
“Well, I can feel bad about your decision, you’re majoring in business,” Rhodey says. “You’ve taken all of those classes when you were four.”
“Yeah, which means I can get the major done in a semester if the dean signs off on it and my parents can’t say no because they’re…you know.”
“Tony.”
“Come on, I’m not going to die.”
--
Pepper visits the shop before it opens.“Tony, what the hell.” There are no matching mugs. Or plates. Nothing is matching. The machine looks like a goddamn Dr. Frankenstein project. “What have you been doing?”
“Being a small, independent business owner?” Tony answers, bending over the sink. “Whoever put these pipes in was a total loser, by the way. How was work today?”
“Fucking awful,” Pepper says. “But also great. My PA is quitting in two weeks to go get married.”
“Ugh, just hire Rhodey.”
“You think he’d quit being in the military?”
“I mean we’ve been lectured that you never stop being army or whatever the hell he phrased it as,” Tony says. “But maybe if you bribed some government official, you might get an honorable discharge for him.”
“Done.”
And she does. That’s the odd thing. Pepper actually does get it done--well, she convinces Rhodey to be her PA.
“I am sick of top secret missions and the brass being on my ass all the time,” Rhodey says. “Now I get to pick up coffee and lunch and work for the real equivalent of Miranda Priestly.”
“Miranda Priestly was a bitch,” Tony says.
“And?” Rhodey says. “You don’t become a top CEO and well-known name in an industry without being a bitch. Just look at your dad. Massive bitch. At least Pepper respects and is nice to me.”
--
“Tony.”“Janet Van Dyne-Pym.”
“Okay, I did not last-name you,” she says, perching her sunglasses on top of her head. “I thought you said once the shop was steady you’d ask him out!”
“I definitely did say that,” Tony says, wringing his hands. “But I also told myself I’d ask him out after we roomed together freshman year. And after he dated Carol. And then when he became Pepper’s PA. I have said I’d ask him out on dates a lot, Janet.
And almost none of it has ended up happening. Also, I have no clue if he likes people romantically other than women!” Tony says. “I think he still has a thing for Carol. Who wouldn’t have a thing for Carol? Maybe I should set them up. I’ll ask Carol, she’ll definitely say yes. It’s Rhodey. They didn’t even end things that badly, she just signed up for NASA, so maybe--oh shit, maybe not--”
“Tony,” Jan says, putting a hand over his. “Calm down. Also, Carol’s bi. Which Rhodey could also be, if you asked him. And she’s married. I think her wife has a kid.”
“Wait, we didn’t go?”
“Well, like you said, she signed up for NASA when they broke up.”
“Shit. I could’ve given them a great wedding gift.”
--
So he asks her over a video chat as he’s closing the shop. Pepper looks at him flatly. “Tony. I run the company named after you. Of course I know.”“Okay, well the company wasn’t named after me, my dad didn’t even like me enough to remember my birthday.”
“God, I’m so glad he’s dead. Have you been going to therapy for that?”
“It is tough being a small business owner," he deflects. "Trying to get decaf beans has been worse than whatever trauma I have."
“You can’t keep using that as an excuse, Tones,” Pepper says, exasperated. She looks at him fondly through the camera lens.
“Watch me,” he says, sticking his tongue out. She doesn’t catch it as she yawns, turning her head.
--
“You’re the best,” Tony says with a grin. “Come on, Bruce’ll have your drink ready in a bit. Did you know he has a PhD in physics and in some kind of math? Oh, he also studied gamma radiation for a bit for the government and it didn’t go well. Technically, I think he has a warrant out for his arrest, but I’m a small business owner so I take what employees I can get.”“Wait, Dr. Banner?” Rhodey asks, eyes bugging out of his skull. “The Dr. Banner who has seven PhD’s?! And General Ross hates?”
“I don’t know who the hell Ross is, but yeah. I think he has seven. I told him to go for eight, but he says I don’t pay him enough for that. As if I can afford more, I am a small business owner.”
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Eye of Newt and a Ten Dollar Mop by lovelyirony
Fandoms: Marvel Cinematic Universe, Iron Man (Movies)
01 Oct 2020
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Summary
In which Tony finds out he's magic, finds out that mops are not proper substitutes for broomsticks, and Rhodey is remarkably nonplussed by magic.
(Also: Rhodey told everyone that Tony moved to Italy for a highly extensive D&D campaign. Asshole.)
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https://archiveofourown.org/works/26760157
Eye of Newt and a Ten Dollar Mop by lovelyirony—
-Tony can’t fucking fly on a fucking mop.
-One broken arm later and a phone call to his mother later, Maria Carbonell is sitting on her son’s dormitory mattress and wondering just why the hell he lied to her about how he broke his arm.
Here was her son’s lie:
“Um. I broke my arm because dinner sucked.”
A.) There was no follow up.
B.) Her son is as bad at lying as she is.
Unfortunately, she did not announce her arrival, and so she gets Tony’s roommate opening the door and screaming that the liquor is in the second cabinet from the left.
Maria raises one eyebrow.
“Did Tony at least pick out good wine?”
“Uh...you’re Tony’s mom?”
“Yes.”
“I didn’t think you were coming to visit until move-out.”
“I...we had an interesting conversation. You wouldn’t happen to know why Tony actually broke his arm, would you?”
“Um...no.”
(Rhodey is also a bad liar.)
-
Tony gets home about ten minutes later and promptly says:
“Oh fuck.”
“Is that any way to greet your mother?” Mom asks, already sipping delicately on her glass of water.
“Um...move-out isn’t for another month.”
“I know. But you lied to your dear mother.”
“How did you know?”
“You can never hide anything from your mom, and your excuse needed work, honey,” Maria answers. “So. How did you break your arm?”
Tony sighs.
“Promise me you won’t laugh. And don’t tell Jarvis.”
“What did you....what?”
-
The mop.
Maria doesn’t laugh at first, at least until she sees the pictures that Rhodey took and chuckles.
“You promised me you wouldn’t laugh!”
“What were you doing? And why?” she asks, laughing. Tony rubs the back of his neck nervously.
“Um, well...funny story...”
-
Maria should have known that her son would have her...abilities. But she had hoped that if he had never known the family, had never known what she could do, that maybe...maybe they wouldn’t come.
“So what you’re telling me,” Tony says, nostrils flaring, “is that there’s magic?”
“Yes,” Maria says. “And what we deal with specifically is good magic.”
“Oh, so I could’ve put Glinda the Good Witch on my family tree project,” Tony says sarcastically.
Maria scowls.
“Don’t sass me, Tony. I did it for your own good.”
“I set a car on fire!”
“Well, what kind of car was it?!”
“A Mustang!”
“Then that makes sense!” Maria says. “Your father drove one, and we all know how that turned out!”
Tony blinks for a moment.
And then laughs.
Maria starts laughing too, until they’re both giggling in the apartment, and Tony tells her about the grocery store incident.
——
“I was already wreaking havoc when I was eight,” Tony whines. “But, this also raises the question of when are we doing a family reunion?”She stops, looking at him.
“They weren’t exactly pleased when I married a millionaire.”
“Not even when he became a billionaire and you got half his fortune?” Tony teases.
“Not even then,” she answers. “I have a...complicated relationship with magic.”
“As in, you don’t use it.”
“Correct,” she answers. “You don’t need magic in your life, and quite often, it gets you in more trouble than you anticipate.”
“Are you going to give me a ‘magic has consequences’ speech?”
Maria laughs.
“No. Magic, as far as I know, doesn’t really have consequences. The actions you do have consequences. You could blast up an entire country and as long as you don’t get caught, no consequences other than what you do to yourself.”
“Like having guilt?”
“Like having guilt. But enough about that, it’ll make you feel weird for a week if you keep thinking about it. I want you to light candles from two feet away.”
“Of course I can do that,” Tony scoffs.
“Sure you can.”
-
Tony also sets the curtains on fire!
-
Maria realizes that her son is perhaps just a tad (okay, a lot) more powerful than she was (and is).
So, she regrettably calls her mother.
——
Tony groans.“Sure, Nonna. I will come.”
“BRING FRIENDS. HAVE GIFTS FROM POPE FOR YOU.”
“You...when did you have time to get gifts...the pope?”
“HAVE FRIENDS. COME!”
—
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This Might as Well Happen by lovelyirony
Fandoms: Iron Man (Movies), The Avengers (Marvel) - All Media Types, Marvel Cinematic Universe
22 Feb 2020
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Summary
Tony finds out that Hydra has been back, SHIELD isn't pristine, and Rhodey and Pepper are willing to help him try to take down it all. With two friends, what could go wrong? Well...you'd be surprised.
Series
- Part 1 of Take It Down
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https://archiveofourown.org/works/22850476
This Might as Well Happen by lovelyirony
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Dr. Dr. Dr. Dr. Dr. Dr. Dr. Dr. Tony Stark by antwriterr
Fandoms: Marvel, Marvel Cinematic Universe
04 Aug 2025
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Summary
"How many degrees do you have again? That's right—three. I have seven. Clearly im more qualified here."
So, all Tony has to do is get five more degrees.
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https://archiveofourown.org/works/68624231
Dr. Dr. Dr. Dr. Dr. Dr. Dr. Dr. Tony Stark by antwriterr-
"I'm just saying," he groaned, pointing at the screen, "what the fuck is this thing? Why are there so many bones? We dont really need all two-hundred-whatever."Helen didn’t even look up from her notes. “We actually do. Most of them serve a purpose.”
“Do they, though?” Tony snapped. “Because this one—” he jabbed the screen like he was about to duel it—“this little guy right here? Navicular? That sounds like a boat, Doc. That’s a boat word. I’m not convinced it’s even real.”
“Tony.”
“No, seriously. This could be a prank. You could be in on the prank.”
She finally looked at him, calm and clinically patient, the way you’d address a toddler having an existential crisis over buttons. “That’s a tarsal bone in your foot. You have two.”
“Not for long,” he muttered. “I’m gonna remove them out of spite.”
Helen blinked. “You’re threatening your own bones now?”
“I am under a lot of stress.”
There was a beat of silence.
--
"They're not unnecessary—""They're completely unnecessary to know."
She couldn't help it—she laughed. A sharp, surprised sound she quickly tried to smother with her hand.
Tony gave her a betrayed look. "Dr. Cho, this is supposed to be a safe space."
“It was until you started threatening bones.”
He groaned again, tipping his head back to stare at the ceiling. “I hate this. This is the worst idea I’ve ever had.”
"You broke your shoulder blade a couple weeks ago because you tried to climb a cell tower."
"That was necessary. This is worse."
Helen closed her chart and leaned against the counter, arms crossed. "Do I get to ask why you're voluntarily torturing yourself with med school? Or is that classified?"
Tony just covered his face with the tablet.
"Let me guess.." She hummed, tapping her chin as she pretended to think. "Bruce?"
He made a strangled noise.
“I knew it.”
Tony peeked out from behind the tablet, expression tired and mildly feral. “He has seven degrees, Helen. Seven.”
“And you…?”
“I’m working on eight.”
Helen blinked. “How many are you doing at once?”
“...Five.”
She whistled low. “That’s not petty. That’s pathological.”
“Thank you.”
"That wasn't a compliment."
Tony sat up, looking grimly determined. "I just have to make it through this. One diagram at a time. One horrifying, bone-infested diagram. At a time."
"And maybe consider seeing a therapist in between classes."
"I dont have time for mental health, Helen. I'm too busy being petty."
--
“This is the worst,” he whined. “Why are there so many tiny muscles? Why do they all have Latin names? I don’t speak dead languages, Mr. Stark, I’m just trying to pass high school.”Across from him, Tony looked up from his own open textbook—worn, coffee-stained, and covered in clear post-its, half of which had nothing to do with the course—and pointed a pencil at him with the intensity of a man who had finally found a kindred spirit.
“I fucking get you, kid.”
Peter blinked. “Wait. Seriously?”
Tony shoved his tablet across the table. “Look at this. LOOK AT THIS. Quiz 5: Muscles of the Posterior Compartment of the Thigh. Why are there this many compartments in one limb? Why are the diagrams all done in terrifying mannequin beige? I’m not learning anatomy, I’m being psychologically attacked.”
Peter squinted at the screen. "You're.. in med school?"
Tony shrugged. "If anyone asks, no. Its a secret." He holds his pointer finger up to his lips.
Peter raised an eyebrow, glancing to the "credentials wall" behind him. Tony's three degrees, and Bruce's seven stare back at him. “Is this because of Dr. Banner?”
Tony didn’t answer. But his eye twitched.
Peter nodded. “Yeah, okay. That tracks.”
They both groaned in unison, flipping pages like defeated soldiers.
A few minutes passed in semi-productive silence. Peter writing notes and Tony.. well, Tony just kind of stared at the same two pages the whole time.
"Hey, kid," Tony said casually. Too casually.
Peter glanced up. “What?”
Tony reached into his pocket, pulled out a hundred-dollar bill, and slid it across the table like they were in some backroom poker den.
“Wanna do my write-up for me?”
Peter blinked. “Mr. Stark, one, I’m pretty sure that’s illegal—”
“Not if you don’t get caught.”
"—And two, you think I know more about medicine then you? I just found out yesterday that the liver is in the right side."
Tony scowled, yanking the dollar back. "I'm un-adopting you."
Peter patted his arm. “There, there.”
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Temptation by Trickstress
Fandoms: Marvel Cinematic Universe, Doctor Strange (Movies), Iron Man (Movies), Spider-Man (Tom Holland Movies)
04 Sep 2025
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Summary
They had finally beaten it, it was all over. The day was saved thanks to the group. Until it wasn’t.
Day 4 of Strangetember
Prompt: Fireball
Series
- Part 4 of Strangetember 2025
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https://archiveofourown.org/works/70360166
Temptation by Trickstress
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Dodging the Red String of Fate by Trickstress
Fandoms: Marvel Cinematic Universe, Iron Man (Movies), Doctor Strange (Movies)
02 Aug 2023
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Summary
Everyone is always able to track down their soulmate, almost like they’re pulled together like a magnet. Stephen, on the other hand, has been able to see his thread leading to his soulmate out in the world after he learns the mystic arts. Instead of seeking them out, it leads to the world’s dumbest game of cat and mouse.
Tony Stark keeps getting closer and closer to finding his soulmate but can never quite find them. Perhaps his new friend can help him out.
Soulmate AUgust Prompt 1: Thread
Series
- Part 1 of Soulmate AUgust
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https://archiveofourown.org/works/49046956
Dodging the Red String of Fate by Trickstress-
It was why he was essentially trapped in a game of cat and mouse with no idea who the fuck the cat was.He never let his soulmate get close enough to identify. His advantage was that he could actually see the connection versus his opponent who was narrowing down areas by a sort of sixth sense. Either way, his soulmate was closing in on him and Stephen had no idea how they were pulling it off.
When he had tried to hide out at Kamar-Taj, Wong had taken one look at him and shoved him right back to New York claiming he wasn’t going to allow Stephen to ‘run from a chance at happiness because you like being so miserable all the time’ which absolutely wasn’t true. Stephen was happy!
“You’re not happy, you just enjoy making other people miserable as well.”
Stephen frowned as he glared at Christine from across the top of the coffee cup he was drinking from. She merely smirked back at him.
“Did you somehow get the power to mind read while I was gone?”
“No, you just get this constipated look on your face when you try to convince yourself that you aren’t full of doom and gloom.”
“…rude.”
--
Unless…It was the whine of repulsors in the distance that made the sorcerer pale in dread.
“Oh fuck no.”
He quickly reached in his pocket and grabbed the wrinkled twenty dollar bill he had saved for this occasion and flung it onto the table and with a murmured apology, disappeared in an instant into the mirror dimension.
It wasn’t a moment too soon before Iron Man, Tony Stark, appeared and landed right next to the table Christine was occupying. Christine was honestly too taken aback by the series of events that she merely yelped as the man in armor turned to her as his face plate raised.
“You wouldn’t happen to not know who your soulmate is, would you?” The billionaire asked and Christine blinked at him for a second before groaning and almost collapsing in the chair. “Okay, that’s a bit harsh.”
“It’s not you. I mean, I’m not annoyed at you and I do know who my soulmate is. I just know my friend is a dumbass who absolutely can’t run from this forever and his inability to be happy!” Christine explained, projecting her voice again at the relatively empty street. Tony merely looked around in interest.
“He’s still here, isn’t he? The tug has it centered on here even if I can’t see him.”
Yes, Stephen was absolutely still here even if he was slowly creeping away from his betrayer of a friend and the superhero who apparently was his soulmate.
Of course he ended up with one of the biggest household names in the world as his partner. It’s not like Stephen had to help keep the mystic arts and Kamar-Taj a secret from the general public.
The Ancient One was probably laughing at him from the afterlife.
“His name is Doctor Stephen Strange and he is an asshole.”
“So your best friend. Got it.” Tony replied with a smirk and Christine couldn’t help but smile back. “Well, if he’s going to try and run away from me then I’m sure he won’t mind if I just take over where he left off and you can tell me every single embarrassing thing he’s ever done.”
Christine smirked in response.
“I’m Doctor Christine Palmer, Mr Stark. This is going to be a beautiful friendship.”
“A pleasure to meet you, Dr Palmer. Call me Tony.”
“Only if you call me Christine.”
Oh god this was going to be insufferable. Stephen groaned as he walked back to the Sanctum. He knew he couldn’t dodge fate forever but perhaps Wong would pity him and let him out of New York for a while, as a treat.
-Author notes;
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Stephen manages to last another 4 days until Tony is able to hunt him down and is forced to deal with horrible things such as ✨happiness✨ and ✨unconditional love✨ as their relationship grows.God, just the mental image of Stephen booking it every time Tony gets close and flipping off fate every time is just hilarious to me and why I had to write a non-traditional version of the Red String of Fate.
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Second Chance by Trickstress for graveltotempo
Fandoms: Marvel Cinematic Universe, Iron Man (Movies), Doctor Strange (Movies)
15 Jan 2023
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Summary
When he started losing time, Tony merely brushed it off as maybe pushing it a bit too far at parties and promised himself to cut back on the booze. It was the following five times that he lost at least four hours at a time and he was absolutely positive that alcohol wasn’t involved was a bit more concerning.
When he started losing time, Stephen had immediately become concerned. Barring some very, very early memories as an infant, Stephen remembered everything including things he had wanted to forget. Having random yet increasing gaps in his memory was honestly…terrifying.
Weird things are happening to these two men and they find themselves at a disguised sanctum in New York. What will their past have to say about their future?
IronStrange Gift Exchange 2022 gift for Graveltotempo!
Series
- Part 3 of Trix’s MARVELous One-Shots
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 4,462
- Chapters:
- 1/1
- Collections:
- 1
- Comments:
- 9
- Kudos:
- 174
- Bookmarks:
- 29
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- 1,177
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https://archiveofourown.org/works/44279083
Second Chance by Trickstress-
“Jarvis, I love you buddy but you are going a bit too Skynet right now while I am having a crisis.”“I’m sorry sir.”
Dear god his insanity might be revealing that he’s a father. Nope. Nopity nope nope.
“Jarvis, be a dear and focus on the next name before I start hyperventilating since I can’t drink to ignore it.”
“The next name would be Morgan. Based on the context of your ramblings, I would presume her surname to be Stark. She is the name of which I could find no records.”
Oh great, Tony thought as his lightheadedness became worse, I may be a father of two.
“We’ll circle back to impending fatherhood soon enough, or never. Hopefully never.” Tony replied with a shudder and only grumbled slightly when DUM-E appeared out of nowhere with a blanket. It was telling of his mental state that he accepted it and cozied into its warmth rather than poke fun at his bot.
-Idk if it's reincarnation, or moments their souls travel through time, so tags for both options
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“Are you our future?” Tony asked bluntly and Other Tony, (hereby named BBQ Tony) let out a laugh.“Kind of? We’re actually your past, and your future. We’re the remnants of your past lives in the last universe before it ended.” Astral Strange (fuck it, he was calling him Monk Strange) explained with a shrug of his shoulders. Huh. Well that was an existential crisis about whether they were on a fixed path or not versus free will waiting to happen. Tony was absolutely not drunk enough for this.
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So imma leave the tags for both options-
“Anyways,” Monk continued, “a purple giant alien named Thanos is going to try and halve the population of the universe using six stones that initially started the Big Bang. They represent different facets of the universe. The Ancient One can go over the specifics later.”“So Grimace is going to take over the world? Isn’t that cliche?” Tony asked, feeling rather overwhelmed. Monk rolled his eyes fondly while BBQ and Stephen laughed. (One was slightly more hysterical than the other.)
“Do you ever not call him Grimace?” Monk asked and the other astral projection stuck out his tongue.
“Listen, BBQ Tony and I clearly have the better pulse on pop culture.” Tony started only to get cut off.
“Did you just call him Barbeque Tony?!” Stephen asked with horror etched into his face. His other self was cackling where he floated and Monk looked…amused. Huh.
--
“Oh dear, he really did leave you with a powerful tool though you may not be happy about it.” She murmured as she held the man’s head in her hands. Tony tried not to stare at the fucking third eye that had seemingly grown into Stephen’s forehead. What the actual fuck-“I don’t know about you but I feel a bit like I’m going to have a panic attack.” Tony stated and Stephen wheezed out some hysterical giggles from the floor.
“At least you both have a sense of humor.” The Ancient One replied. “I would recommend you both move into the Sanctum for the foreseeable future while you both settle yourselves out.”
“Can someone quit my job for me? I would look at my phone but my depth perception is completely fucked up at the moment and I feel like I am going to go into hysterics soon.”
Tony raised his hand and pulled out his phone.
“I can do that, or rather Jarvis can! Did you want a replica of Prince’s sunglasses as well? You would absolutely match the aesthetic.”
“Fuck off Tony.”
“I could get you the real ones?”
“Fuck off Tony- wait, are you serious? I might be interested or that could be the adrenaline talking.”
That actually got The Ancient One to laugh which only prompted Stephen and Tony into joining in. This had been a batshit crazy day but for now, they could rest and plan. Who knows, this whole thing may just work out.
-Author notes;
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Tony and Stephen both 100% believe that they were boyfriends in their past life and their previous lives did nothing to dissuade them.RIP BBQ Tony. May he rest in sweet and savory sauce of the soul.
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Loki is causing mischief in New York when his Asgardian husband, Tony Stark, comes to visit.
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Family Fun by silver_dripCh 11
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“The mortals are delicate. Have care,” Thor said diplomatically.Tony rolled his eyes. “I’ve been to Midgard a thousand times more than you.” His sword made a deadly noise as it cut through the air. Golden light followed in its wake. “I’m getting bored.”
“Then we must make haste!” Thor looked—he looked downright panicked. Thor laughed awkwardly, ushering Tony to the quinjet.
--
This was getting seriously weird. Thor was acting like Tony was a diplomat that would decide the fate of Asgard.
--
Thor kept shooting him worried looks.After a beat of Steve not speaking, Thor picked back up his chattering, now flattering Tony.
--
Tony frowned, then pursed his lips. The quinjet hit a pocket of turbulence.“Drinks all around!” Thor practically shouted. “I know you, brother! You surely have your flask!”
--
“Yes, what about Loki?” Tony’s voice was biting. The quinjet lurched again and Steve was seeing a pattern that hopefully wasn’t there.
--
“Three weeks?” Clint scoffed. “Loki can barely hold his own against us for three minutes.” The bow on Clint’s lap cracked, the string freeing and slashing deep into Clint’s hand. “Son of a bitch!”
--
..."Tony is the God of Luck—good luck and bad luck."
--
“His mood dictates the luck of those around them. Doubtlessly he was banished again from Asgard for his ill disposition.”“Is Earth your dad’s favorite dumping ground?” Clint asked, a bite in his voice. He was staring down at his broken bow.
--
“Even the All-Father cannot force Tony to go anywhere. He tried taking Tony’s godhood once and his spear exploded in his hands and nearly killed him.”
--
“No, I’m sure that Tony only sunk a dingy! It’s truly not his fault. As the thunder follows my anger, so does bad luck follow Tony’s. The Norns decided that with his foul moods others should cower—That sounds bad.”“Yes, Thor, that does sound bad,” Clint mocked, his broken bow on the table in front of him.
--
“How do we get rid of him?” Fury asked, cutting through Thor’s nervous laughter.“Such a thing is not so simply done, my friends.” Thor sighed and shifted in his too small seat. “The only one who holds any sway over Tony is Loki.”
“What. The. Fuck.” Clint slammed his unwounded hand on the table. “So your psycho brother just got a new weapon?!”
Thor held up his empty hands. “Just the opposite! They have been blissfully wed for many centuries!”
“Why are we only now hearing that Loki is married?” Fury asked. The vein on his forehead was pulsing aggressively.
--
“Fuck,” Clint said under his breath. “Are you telling me Loki has a WMD that he can unleash whenever he feels like it?”Klaxon deafened them for a moment.
“Ah,” Thor’s voice cut through the alarm, “they must be arguing.”
--
“They have made up,” Thor said while walking into the lounge. “Shall we break our fast?!”“What’s to stop Tony from setting New York on fire again?” Steve asked. Natasha had thought he’d still been sleeping on the couch.
“Nay, such a thing will not happen!” Thor was all grins. “They have reunited and decided to have another child!”
Natasha paled and exchanged a look with Steve.
“Who the hell let them adopt?” Clint said scathingly.
“Adopt? No, my friend. Loki is a shapeshifter. He had taken on the form of a woman many times.” He chuckled.
--
He took in a deep breath. “It will be their thirteenth child!”Steve was stuck speechless.
Clint and Natasha exchanged a look. “Please tell me they’re not going to bring the whole brood here.”
Thor’s brow furrowed. “Were you all not aware? Many of them are already here.”
Clint let out a choking noise.
--
“Haha, yes!” Thor decided not to mention that the tsunami was probably caused by Jormungandr coming to visit his parents.
-List of their kids with no specific order (also no more quoting cus I'm out of characters almost);
Jormungandr - Snek, Water
Hela - Death
Twins Bee-Fey called Beate and Bodil
SPIDER-MAN HE'S THEIR YOUNGEST SON (before the new one is born) - Spider, Traps, his name is Frode but he goes by Peter now
Morgan - Time
Sleipnir - Stronk, Horse, oldest son
Topf
Marrow(From the 12 kids 4 were born together when Tony and Loki were wolves)
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Emotions are a lot harder to hide and control when it's a five-year-old feeling them.
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Young Again by silver_dripKinda love this one.
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“Friday might go homicidal on us,” Sam whispered to Natasha, hoping Friday couldn’t hear him.“Nonsense. Friday is a delightful girl,” Vision said while entering the living room.
Steve was snuggled up against Natasha, not wanting to sleep alone in a new place.
“Being a delightful girl never stopped me from killing. It actually made it easier. No one expects a little girl to be an assassin.” Natasha was threading her fingers through Steve’s hair.
“I have no current plans to kill you all.” That was of little assurance.
“What about plans on killing everyone in this room, but Vision?” Natasha asked, picking up on Friday’s wording.
“Would you like me to lie to you, Ms. Romanov?” Friday’s voice was almost bubbly, making her somehow sound sinister.
“I assure you all that you are safe in Stark Manor,” Vision said, a hint of a smile on his face.
“And outside of the manor?” Natasha gave Vision a penetrating look.
“Friday is truly a delight.” Vision said nothing more as he left the room.
--
“I don’t know how to handle him,” Sam said into the phone.“And you think I do?” Rhodey snorted.
“You’re the one who has the most experience with him.”
“With sixteen-year-old, angry, wild Tony Stark. Not five-year-old, sugar high, Tony Stark.”
“He’s got himself a new best friend.”
There was a pause on the other end of the line.
“I’ll be right over.”
--
“Damn, you’re shorter than usual,” Rhodey said and Tony squawked.“Who are you?” Loki asked, pulling Tony into his arms.
“I’m Rhodey, the one who pulled Tony’s ass out of trouble since he was a scrawny sixteen-year-old.” Rhodey grinned down at Loki. “I’m also his best friend.”
Loki held Tony closer.
“No, Loki is my best friend, but…” Tony pursed his lips, pouting, “seeing you makes me happy.” Loki rested his chin on Tony’s shoulder, his eyes becoming dull. Tony seemed to sense the change. “You’re still my number one, Loki-Dokey.”
“You’re my number one too!” Loki squeezed Tony and lifted him up. Tony squirmed and Loki laughed.
“I hear you two have been making trouble.”
“My house, my rules.” Tony stuck his tongue out at Rhodey and Sam who was standing behind him.
“Exactly.” Tony looked up at him in surprise and Sam groaned. “I’m just here to scoop you up if your ass gets into the fire. If Loki is your friend, then he also falls under my protection.”
“We do not need your protection.” Loki glared at Rhodey.
“So you’re aware that Black Widow is still lurking around your house?”
Loki’s face turned red with embarrassment.
“Friday?” Tony asked, his eyes narrowed.
“Widening search.” There was a pause. “Natasha Romanov has been spotted in the southern gardens. Your orders?”
“You said you are on my side?” Tony asked, raising an eyebrow skeptically.
--
“They could also just leave Steve and Wanda here, but that would be inadvisable,” Friday added.Sam was scowling.
“Looks like you two got your underhanded methods from Tony.”
“Don’t diss our ‘methods’. We’re just trying to resolve this nonviolently. You asked for my help and I’m giving it.” Rhodey looked cocky.
“I meant convincing Tony to let Natasha stay.”
“Friday said Tony has his emotions, but not his memories. He feels that she hurt him, but he doesn’t have the memories on why he should tolerate that pain.”
“Stop talking about me like I’m not around,” Tony said in a whining voice. Rhodey smiled at him. Tony turned to Sam. “Chop-chop, Sammy, what’s your decision?”
“I’ll get Natasha to leave the property, but I can’t make her go beyond that.”
“So long as she doesn’t come back.” Tony gave him a hard look before grinning. “Come on, Loki! I want to show you a Disney movie!”
--
He’d fallen asleep as a kid and had woken up as an adult. Aches in his body that he hadn’t even known he had became apparent. Old age was a bitch on his joints.A huff came from beside him. Tony glanced over. Loki was looking at him with drowsy eyes. He was naked.
Their clothes had been ripped when Tony and Loki reverted back to their normal sizes.
Loki’s eyes widened as he sat up. He pulled the bedsheet around him to create a semblance of modesty. He looked frozen in his spot.
Tony grinned.
--
“We were friends,” Tony said and Loki seemed to crumble at the use of the past tense, “we are best friends, and I hope we can be more than that eventually.” Tony took Loki hand into his own. “I want to see where this takes us.” Tony kissed Loki’s palm. “If that’s alright with you?”
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Summary
Wong's choice in favorite tv shows was truly atrocious. Though it was definitely preferable to the way Wong was watching Tony and Stephen like they were a tv show.
Tony couldn't believe he'd fallen into his very own, real life trope.
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Slow on the Uptake by airas_storyCurious if here Tony was born in 1970 or 1974. Regardless he got it young, either 5 or 9 yo. And we technically don't know he didn't get it beforehand, that's just when the meds for it got FDA approved and he was immediately put on it
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“That’s not funny,” Tony muttered, even if his lips twitched a little in amusement. Because, really, only he would find out he was in love—was he? That was the implication, right?—because the person he was in love with outright informed him that he was. Okay, so this probably happened to more than just him. But it had to be pretty damn rare.“Your idiocy is always somewhat amusing,” Wong told him, totally not helpfully. How had Tony ever been so deceived as to think that Wong was helpful.
Tony wondered if it would be rude to flip him off.
Probably.
He flipped Wong off.
“Not that I’m agreeing with Wong,” Stephen said. “But I admit, your expression right now is making it really hard not to laugh at you.” Since Stephen had laughed, clearly he wasn’t trying hard enough. Stephen continued, “Like I said, Tony, I’m not going to push this. In fact, we never have to talk about it again.”
Tony arched an eyebrow. “You’re saying that you can tell me you love—” he cut off, because that was a little baffling. Somehow he hadn’t quite conceptualized the fact that Stephen had just said… except Stephen hadn’t said. What if somehow Tony had totally misinterpreted this conversation. Yes, it seemed like pretty simple math, and Tony was good at math, but his mathematical prowess faltered massively once the variables turned emotional.
“Love you,” Stephen prompted. Which meant Tony hadn’t failed emotional math 101 and Stephen really was saying he loved Tony.
That was way too much to deal with, right now, but Tony forced himself to continue his previous sentence. “You’re saying that you can tell me you love me and that I love—” Again, he found himself utterly unable to finish the sentence.
“Love me,” Stephen supplied, and now he looked like he was trying not to laugh again as though Tony’s utter failure to verbalize the situation was hilarious. It was not hilarious. At all.
“And you said Hearts Undone was unrealistic,” Wong muttered, which really was just salt in the wound. No. Actually, it was salt mixed with lemon poured liberally in the wound. “You’re hopeless.”
--
“Well, you were the one that pointed out that I’m the sort to want a partner,” Stephen said. “Someone to spend my life with, side by side.”Okay. Tony needed to slam the brake hard. Spend his life with? Way too fast. Way, way, way too fast.
“Maybe we should start with boyfriend,” Tony said. “We can work up to partner.”
Success glinted in Stephen’s eyes. “If that’s what you want. I’d love to be your boyfriend.”
Tony opened his mouth. Then closed it. “Did I just get played?” Because he was pretty sure he’d been thinking about not doing anything and now he was calling Stephen his boyfriend. That had accelerated, slightly. But it was far more manageable to comprehend compared to partner. Even if Stephen was absolutely the partner sort and Stephen probably hoped that someday—
“Yes,” Wong said, interrupting Tony’s soon-to-be-spiraling thoughts. “Door-in-the-face technique. Present a larger, intimidating suggestion, then—”
“I know what the door-in-the-face technique is,” Tony said, rolling his eyes. He’d be more annoyed if it weren’t for the fact that he knew Stephen had been downright honest when he’d said he’d be entirely satisfied with maintaining their friendship and nothing more. Hell, Tony knew if he backtracked to that option right now, Stephen would be fine with it.
--
“Tony,” Stephen said, voice now serious. “You don’t—”“Nope,” Tony said. “I’m your boyfriend, now. Or I will be. I think you might need to kiss me, first. To seal the deal.”
The words made Stephen smile and lean in for a kiss—soft, gentle, perfect—while Wong made a disgusted sound, not too dissimilar to the sound Tony had made at Wong’s tv show that had started this all.
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Freely Given by airas_story
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Tony winked at Christine. “Absolutely the best fake girlfriend I’ve ever had.” He glanced at Stephen. “And you weren’t bad either.”
Stephen couldn't even defend himself, because that was fair. Christine just laughed. “Well, next time you need to hide from reporters and we’re around, we’ll be happy to help.”
Series
- Part 5 of February Bingo
- Part 1 of Three Parts - One Whole
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- English
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- 4,216
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Evasion Tactics by airas_story-
“So, I don’t suppose you have a name?” the man asked Christine. “Your boyfriend there is Stephen, but I think I should probably call you something other than best-fake-girlfriend-ever.”“Christine,” Christine told him. “And you? I probably need something other than the peanut-butter-and-jelly-man.”
“Tony,” Tony answered. “Though your name for me is, unfortunately, very accurate. I’m going to blame Rhodey for all of this. He was the one who challenged me and then abandoned me to come here by myself because he didn’t want to leave the car.”
“Boyfriend? Friend?”
“Best friend,” Tony said, the most genuine smile yet crossing his face. “Brother, really. Also something of a bother, but I probably can’t talk since I’m pretty sure I take the award for biggest bother.” He winced. “Especially lately. Really, the PB&J is going to be an apology sandwich since he’s banned me from giving any of my normal apologies. Apparently, despite the whole ‘made a mess of everything’ I get a little bit of leeway since I was dying and he failed to figure that out and now he feels unnecessarily bad about it.” He scoffed. “Which really, I’m an excellent liar, so of course he didn’t figure it out.”
Stephen stared at him for a long moment. “I feel like that needs a whole analysis,” he said finally, because that had been… a lot. All at once. “What?”
Tony waved his hand. “Not a big deal. Also, please don’t mention that to anyone if you’re ever asked about me. It’s really quite embarrassing. Almost got taken out by heavy metal poisoning of all things.” He scoffed. “Which really, after everything would be such a let down.”
“What?” Christine asked, and she sounded just as blindsided as Stephen felt. How had a simple shopping trip gotten this weird.
Stephen was blaming Christine. They could have just exposed Tony to the reporter at the very beginning and been done with it.
“Not a big deal,” Tony repeated, once again waving his hand as though he could wave the matter away just as easily. “Just me-drama, grossly exaggerated, of course. The two of you seem like the sort not to run around gossiping?”
“Our lips are sealed,” Christine promised. She sent Stephen one of her ‘don’t you dare argue with me’ looks. “Right, Stephen?”
“Right,” Stephen agreed. “I don’t see why we should care enough to expose your secrets, anyways.”
Tony made finger guns at him. “Exactly. There is literally no reason you should care.”
Stephen itched to figure out who Tony really was, because something told him he was going to be kicking himself later for not immediately recognizing him.
--
“Toast the bread,” Tony said to himself. “Right. Do I have a toaster?” He seemed to genuinely be considering the question before he shrugged. “I probably have a toaster.”“How do you not know if you have a toaster?” Stephen asked, bewildered.
Tony shrugged. “I mostly survive off of coffee.”
Stephen suddenly suspected he knew just why this Rhodey had started this bet, it was probably just to force Tony to eat actual food.
“As a doctor, I’ve got to suggest that you eat actual food,” Christine said.
--
“I know. You two are just good people.”Stephen coughed.
“Well, you’re a good person, Christine. Stephen is just along for the ride,” Tony corrected. He froze. “Shit.”
He ducked down a little. Stephen turned to see what had caught his attention and saw a man moving toward them, a camera around his neck and pulling his phone out to apparently call someone.
“Stephen,” Christine said. “Don’t get mad at me.”
Stephen turned back toward her. “Wha—“ He blinked as Christine suddenly pulled Tony in for a kiss.
He heard Tony make a surprised noise before Tony went along with it. Stephen found himself staring at the sight of his girlfriend kissing their fake boyfriend of the hour. It was… a very bizarre, but somewhat intriguing experience. Stephen shook his head, dismissing the thought as he glanced at the camera man who had hesitated, clearly no long certain that Tony was the person he was looking for.
After a long moment, the man turned away.
“Alright.” Stephen cleared his throat. “He’s moved on.”
Christine pulled back. Tony blinked at her, twice. Then looked at Stephen. Then looked back at Christine. “I have got to say,” Tony said after a moment. “It is really weird to be the speechless one in a situation like this.”
--
“Rhodey, meet my fake boyfriend and girlfriend for the hour, Stephen and Christine. They saved me from Everhart.”Rhodey just stared at them, before he let out the sort of long-suffering sigh that Stephen had been suppressing this whole time. “I am so sorry that Tony somehow dragged—“
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Summary
All his life Jake had dreamt of Tsu'tey and Tsu'tey had dreamt of Jake.
After the death of his brother, Jake is finally given the opportunity to travel to Pandora. There isn’t a moment to think, no time to hesitate, as Jake sends himself careening across galaxies in the hope that Tsu’tey is real and waiting for him when he arrives.
The Tsu’tey he finds, however, is not the one he knew before his cryo-sleep, but one hardened by war and loss and hate. Together they will learn to fight, for themselves, for each other, and for the people they call home.
*Chapters 1-48 of this work have been updated from their original versions (2016-2021) as of January 2023*Series
- Part 1 of I Dreamt of You
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I Dreamt of You by accept_n_destroyCh 55
Liking this way more than I thought?
Things are much different from canon ofc, but like the summary made me think things are going to go bad between the two but it's actually great :3Like really enjoying this fic, hilarious af lmao
I do absolutely love the dynamic of our trio, while I've read them as a throuple before which is cool, seeing our boys together and her as their annoying friend who loves to tease them is great haha-
Trudy looked back and forth between Tsu’tey and Jake for a moment, looking a little lost, before her eyes widened a fraction and a laugh bubbled from her throat, “oh yeah, your voodoo mumbo jumbo stuff, I getcha.”“Yes, our,” Tsu’tey’s mouth pulled into a line, “stuff.”
“I think it’s cool you guys can spy on each other or whatever,” Trudy grinned, shooting Jake a wink. He’d been right, she was just as bad as Neytiri.
“It is not spying,” Tsu’tey frowned, looking well scorned.
“It is kind of spying,” Neytiri cut in with a sharp smile.
“Oh great, there’s two of them,” Jake muttered to Tsu’tey, who groaned low in agreement. “Don’t you two have someone else to bother?”
“Nope,” Trudy shoved her hands in her pants pockets, “just you two. Jake, I heard you pulled again yesterday, very nice.”
“Neytiri, stop fucking telling people that,” Jake snapped, color rising in his cheeks once more.
“Then do not leave me on a cliff with a bunch of suicidal children,” Neytiri grinned at them, ignoring their glares, as usual.
Their standoff was interrupted by Trudy doubling over, laughing so hard she was gasping for breath. They were a sight, really, if they thought about it, the three of them, even more than they usually were.
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Jake rolled his eyes before turning away from the two women and towards Tsu’tey, who let out a snort of disbelief.“Is that what we sound like?” Jake asked under his breath with a quirk of his lips.
“I do not know,” Tsu’tey huffed, “but I do know that she is no longer allowed to bother us. Look at her, she is practically salivating.”
“Curious though,” Jake said, looking back at the two, who had gone back to pretending that they weren’t trying to glance at each other out of the corners of their eyes. “I’ve never seen Neytiri show interest in anyone before.”
“I have never seen anyone be as bothersome as her either, yet there seems to be a first time for everything,” Tsu’tey said, rolling his eyes.
“Oh, come on,” Jake chuckled softly, “you have to admit they’re kind of cute.”
“I have to do no such thing,” Tsu’tey shot back, but there was a softness in his eyes that betrayed him as he looked over at his friend.
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“You two are going to be late for the meeting,” Jake interrupted, locking eyes with Tsu’tey, who had the look of a man wondering if his friend had been replaced sometime in the past few hours. Jake could practically see him thinking up all the teasing remarks to throw at her the entire way back to Hometree, and he almost felt bad for her, almost.
-Apparently as the first version is different to the point they offer a PDF for it, but they're probably not around anymore, I decided to check Wayback Machine
This shows the original 48 chapters
https://web.archive.org/web/20220508013921/https://archiveofourown.org/works/6459400?view_adult=true&view_full_work=trueCliffhanger ending, painful last chapters
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Tags
Summary
Living well is the best revenge, so they say. In Jake's quiet fury at the dismissive, heartless way everyone spoke of his brother's death and the complete lack of empathy he found at every turn and corner, he decides to find a way to live the best life he can possibly conceive, with the opportunity Tommy left behind for him: a fresh start on a new world... just not exactly the way the RDA vultures meant.
(In which Jake Sully pulls the ultimate con on every person who failed to treat his brother's memory with respect, and every person who failed to be kind to their fellow man.)
((Previously 'From the Ashes.'))
(On hiatus, not abandoned.)
Series
- Part 1 of The Things that Come from Fire
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- English
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- 743,335
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Worship the Ashes by AKA_GreenCh 106
Only at ch 2 and absolutely loving it!!
I am enjoying this so fucking much!
Bby palulukan <3
Poor baby girl, Jake's gonna take care of you sweetheart. Also aw disability buddies, kinda lol
Jellybean and Jake be connected™
Precious murder flood
Feral mindset
As much as the expections for the Na'vi to know and understand many human words feel unrealistic af, I'm choosing to ignore it because it is enjoyable to read
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Pray to the devil, he will listen by SatanicMe for NathTE, Eikaron, FluffyGlitterPantsDragon, fandomoverload
Fandoms: Lucifer (TV)
14 Jun 2018
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Summary
If you are fucked over by some idiots and have not anything to lose it doesn't matter if you are seen as crazy praying to the devil.
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Pray to the devil, he will listen by SatanicMe-
Then as the timer hit three a half minutes a young officer jumped on his feet and made the same hand gesture as Dug exclaiming "FUCK GOD!!! LUCIFER, HEAR OUR PRAYERS!!!"With this more and more normally reasonable Detectives, officers, scientist and other people followed the example of Dug and the officer.
"LUCIFER!!! I BEG FOR YOUR HELP, STAR OF THE MORNING!!!"
"SAFE THE CHILDREN OF THIS DAMNED CITY, LIGHTBRINGER!!!"
"GIVE US A MIRACLE, AND WE WILL OWE YOU!"
Nervously with panic growing in their insides exponentially the world watched the timer to hit zero.
--
The sixth day video tapes with the proof of the divine were uploaded on the internet by a cop who posted them under the name: "Thank you, Devil. I suppose we all owe you a long overdue IOU."And on the seventh day the devil answered.
Then the world stopped to believe and started to gather truths.
With that churches were burnt down to ash and the lords name was used just in vain after that.
While the devil's name was praised.
-Anddd this comment;
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When you had everyone praying to Lucifer, all I could imagine was Lucifer arriving on the scene, taking a detour towards the reporter and reaching out for the mic with a “I’ll be taking that, darling, thank you.” Before getting in front of the camera with an annoyed expression “Will you all shut up already? I bloody well heard you!” Before passing on the mic and walking away towards the bomb loudly mumbling about ‘loud as hell prayers giving him a headache’.
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Familiar Fallacies by SinfulLuca
Fandoms: Lucifer (TV), Good Omens - Neil Gaiman & Terry Pratchett, Good Omens (TV)
20 Mar 2020
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Summary
Chloe was starting to think that the Devil was actually british. Why else would they keep meeting his family on their vacation?
Series
- Part 2 of Extended Estrangement
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https://archiveofourown.org/works/21221453
Familiar Fallacies by SinfulLucaThis is a few years after the first fic, by now Chloe knows with a capital K
One thing that bothers me, author writes is instead of it's sometimes
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Lucifer looked surprised for a second before his whole posture changed to something more predatory. "Ex-boss?" he left his glass in the table and smiled. "What makes you think you're free from Hell?"Crowley's body stiffened, the fear plain in his face, obvious even behind his shades.
"If I remember correctly, there are yet to be repercussions for your actions, no?"
Crowley gasped, cowering from Lucifer's piercing gaze. Aziraphale's took the snake's hand protectively, challenging the Lord of Hell.
"Yes, repercussions..." Lucifer smiled. "A promotion!"
The air of uncertainty disappeared in mere seconds, like a balloon deflating. Crowley made a strangled sound at the back of his throat and Aziraphale stared wide eyed at the Devil. Lucifer made a content sound as he took a long gulp from his drink.
"How does Prince Crowley sounds? I have been looking for centuries to get rid of Belphegor."
"What?!" Crowley shouted when he finally got control back over his throat.
--
“Let me get more wine.” Crowley snapped his fingers, returning the broken glass to its former glory and cleaning all of the wine stains.Trixie clapped. “I want to do that!” She turned around and ran towards Lucifer, shaking him. “Teach me, teach me!”
Lucifer tried to scare her as if she was a fly, the wine in his system making the motion look ridiculous. “No, that’s cheating.” He said, a drunk smile on his face.
Adam stared at Lucifer with a complicated expression - something in between horror and fascination.
“Maybe you should sober up.” said Aziraphale a little stern.
--
By the end of it, Adam and Chloe were barely conscious while the 3 immortals - that had easily drank 75% of the wine - were still very awake and very giggly.
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“And you’re not going to throw me in there?”“I’m getting tired of repeating myself: No, you don’t have to go back.” Lucifer sent Crowley a glare, his wobbly chair not adding much to the effect.
“Let me… let me… look. You came to Earth to have fun… and now… and now you want… you like here.” Adam was really trying.
“I would think that would have been clear hours ago.” Lucifer spat back, drowning another glass of wine.
“And what… you’ll… when bored. you get bored of Earth and then what?”
“Is it possible to get bored of Earth?” Lucifer laughed.
“Nah, is not. Never. Humans always changing everything.” Crowley said.
“And so fast...” Aziraphale looked trouble by the fact.
“See? Nothing to fear.” Lucifer added, balancing his chair forwards and almost falling down.
--
“Mine? Mine? It’s all Dad’s fault! It was His Plan!” Lucifer grumbled.“St-stop talking like that of Her.” Aziraphale tried. “You talk like She’s… like out for you, laughing and…" he gestured widely. "but no. No… She’s n-not like that… She… She's...”
“Don’t you dare to say it!” Crowley protested.
“Ineffable!” Aziraphale half shouted.
“Ineffable!!” Adam shouted back.
“I hate you both so much.” Crowley pouted.
“So…” Chloe started and forgot again. “You’re his” She pointed at Lucifer for a whole minute. “son.”
“Yes.” Adam said.
Chloe looked at Lucifer with a frown on her face. She hoped it was intimidating. “3 years dat-da-going you and… and you didn't tell me? I… I have to pay another co-colle-uug."
"I'm for-forty! I'm a master… something. Professor! I’m Professor! I’m Teach! No Prince of things here!" Adam rambled.
"Your son is older than me?!"
“I’m older than time!” Lucifer raised his hands in the air, the chair barely restraining from falling.
“I have to pay the retirement plan of my boyfriend's kid!"
Adam choked on his own howling laughter, almost breaking his empty glass as he slammed it against the table. “You’re going out with the King of Hell!” Adam said after some breathless minutes. Chloe didn’t know if he had meant in in a bad way, she imagined neither did the guy.
“Title I never asked for! That place is aaaaaawful.” Lucifer almost falls backwards, barely grasping the table.
“The smell. The leaks. Everyone trying to stab you!” Crowley shouted as he kept hugging his angel.
--
“WHAT?! NO!” Crowley shouted.“WE’RE NOT BROTHERS!” Aziraphale shouted as well.
“Yes we’re!!” Lucifer shouted in between laughs. He couldn’t stop. “Same parents!.”
"WHAT'S WRONG WITH YOU?!”
“THAT’S PREPOSTEROUS!”
Lucifer kept laughing and laughing and laughing until his poor chair finally gave up.
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Dysfunctional Delusions by SinfulLuca
Fandoms: Lucifer (TV), Good Omens - Neil Gaiman & Terry Pratchett, Good Omens (TV)
13 Jul 2019
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Summary
Chloe really wishes some people weren’t allowed to have children.
Specially after meeting Lucifer’s maybe brothers.Series
- Part 1 of Extended Estrangement
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https://archiveofourown.org/works/19788073
Dysfunctional Delusions by SinfulLuca-
She didn’t even want to start deciphering this. “... Married? So… Crawly is your brother in law.”“What? No, no. All 3 of us are brothers. Crawly even Fell with me.”
Chloe was sure her train of thought had crashed and burned miles ago. A horrified expression appeared on her face. “You know? I can come later. Goodnight Lucifer.”
“Awww, detective.” Thankfully he didn’t follow, his expression distant as he took a long gulp of his whisky.
Were his delusions getting worse? She thought he had gotten them under control but no.
She ignored whatever look Maze shot at her and exited the place.
Sadly the night couldn’t end there, as Lucifer’s - probably, maybe not, who knows - incestuos brothers were standing outside, waiting for her.
--
It was very probable that Lucifer wasn’t the only one in his family with delusions.It must have been horrible. The idea of Aziraphale being kicked out of the house for being gay and still respecting the man to that extend… that explained why Lucifer would take on the mantle of the Devil, wishing to become his father’s antithesis.
At least he was free. But what about the other 2? were they happy?
“Maybe we could go visit them and ask!” said Lucifer, a mischievous spark on his eyes.
“W-who?!”
“My dear brothers, of course.”
Oh, what had she done?!
-Comments from author;
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So while Good Omens clearly has a hierarchy (and one weird at that, as the archangels are at the top) Lucifer the show makes 0 reference to there being one at all (going by both my memory and the wiki) and yeah, most of the angels mentioned in Lucifer are usually considered archangels but let's also remember those are some of the best known ones. (And shouldn't Lucifer be a seraph, anyway?)So how to reconcile that in Lucifer there's no hierarchy and every angel is a sibling with Good Omens where there's clearly a hierarchy and not familiar bond at all? by confusing Chloe! It's something I'm trying to explore more in the sequels to this fic: that each angel - fallen or not - has a different relationship with the others. Be it feeling a kind of familiar bond with every single one (Lucifer), with just some (Amenadiel) or non at all (like Aziraphale and Crowley who had never had one)
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if you want a preview of the sequel, they do talk about how for aziraphale and crowley heaven had been so much different. they didnt have anyone close enogh to call a broher and especially after the fallen had... fallen, both groups had lost any resemblance to a family there might have been on the early days of heaven lucifer remembers
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Tags
Summary
Or, more accurately, Dean and Raphael have come back to the bunker after their accidental, drunken marriage.
Series
- Part 1 of Holy Fuck
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https://archiveofourown.org/works/7909909
Match made in Heaven? by FaithlessBex-
Sam Winchester was amused. Cas was less so, but when an archangel that you went to war with was alive and apparently married to one of your closest friends, he supposed the angel was justified. Still. The entire situation was too funny not to keep watching.“You really think you can survive on this sort of food, Dean?” Raphael asked, arms crossed as he stared between the greasy diner to-go bag and the older Winchester. Dean looked at Sam, eyes almost pleading with him to back him up but he stayed quiet, hands raised. He’d been telling Dean to eat better for years, he wasn’t about to stop him.
“Traitor. Look, Raph-” Sam raised an eyebrow. It was one thing when Dean had come back from his few week solo trip with an archangelic husband in tow, but a whole nother thing to hear that he already had a nickname he accepted. “I’ve lived this long and now if I have a heart attack or something, you can just save me. One of my perks.”
“I’ll let you suffer to the edge of painful death.” But there was no venom in Raphael’s voice. “Be careful or I’ll decide I like your brother more than you. He’s never done anything to me and he eats healthier than you.”
Dean squinted. “Not funny dude. I’m not being sister wife to my brother.”
Sam choked. The archangel’s eyebrow rose in his direction for a moment before waving a hand. “I promise not to accidentally marry your brother so long as you don’t do the same.”
Cas seemed to jolt back into reality at the comment, staring at them with a frown. “How did you accidentally get married?”
The couple shared a look, seeming to communicate silently before Raphael sighed. “Shots.”
Now Sam burst into laughter, lowering himself into a chair. “You guys got drunk then got hitched? Damn, shoulda guessed it would go that way.”
“Yeah yeah, laugh it up. Something wrong Cas?”
The angel was staring at his brother suspiciously. It was obvious by the way Raphael was staring right back that they hadn’t come close to getting along. It had only been a day, though. “For you to have become inebriated enough to do something like that, it would be enough to kill a human.”
Sam frowned, looking over to the archangel again. Dean was – surprisingly – unconcerned.
“Unless I was drinking a non-human alcohol that could kill a human in a single shot. Which I was. I am not here to be your enemy, Castiel, I am here because for some reason, Dean Winchester asked me to come.”
“Cas, come on, let’s go take a walk.” Dean said abruptly, standing and grabbing him by the arm. “Sammy, can you show Raph around?”
And then he was alone with his new brother in law. “So… You and Dean, huh?”
Raphael regarded him quietly, posture slipping slightly. “You disapprove?”
Sam looked away, staring around the bunker. “I mean… I don’t know you apart from the fact that you killed Cas once and went to war against him to start up the apocalypse again. Not the best impressions.”
A soft laugh left the archangel. “I suppose that’s accurate. But. I was mistaken, Samuel. I just wanted to have my brother back, I’m sure you understand how that feels.” He did. God, did he know. “And I do care for Dean. It’s unconventional circumstances. If it makes you feel better, just consider me a source of extra knowledge and an asset. You three get injured enough for my abilities to be necessary, after all.”
Sam expression shifted into confusion until realization dawned on him. “Lore says Raphael is the archangel of-”
“Healing. And young lovers, interestingly enough.” He said dryly. Any other comments were cut off by the door opening again, letting in a soaked Dean and Castiel. “Do I even want to know?”
“Storm came in. Not one of yours then?” Dean asked, stripping out of his outer shirt. Sam noticed, to his chagrin, how Raphael seemed to straighten at that. Gross. For an ancient being, he was really not subtle at all.
“Yes, because I would call a storm just so you and Castiel would get soaked.”
“Yeah yeah, Raph. I’m gonna get a shower then hit the hay.”
“Noted.”
Cas stopped in front of Raphael, scowl slowly fading into a resigned expression. Raphael nodded in understanding and held a hand out. Cas took it. “I will not harm a hair on either of their heads, and I will not raise my sword against you.”
“Try it and I kill you.” They let go of each other and then Cas was gone down the hall, turning a different direction than Dean had.
“Uh, good night.” Sam said, suddenly awkward in the situation. “You and Dean, can you just… try to keep it down?”
“You have my word, Samuel.”
Sam laughed, pausing at the door. “Just Sam, Raphael.”
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