Chapter Text
"Mm? うん、私たちは大丈夫。いいだ。Hm?" There was a lull, then Ryan nodded his head despite his mother not being able to see. Muffled speech on the other end went on for a moment before Ryan made a face, displeased as he withheld a groan. He tossed out his free hand, brows furrowed and mouth agape as he shook his head. "ママ–" Then, a pause as the muffled speech continued on, Ryan rolling his eyes as he continued to shake his head. "しないよ、大丈夫だよ。のみならず、ミンがいます。"
A longer pause. As Ryan's mom spoke to him, Ryan slunk down to the kitchen floor; the yellow, coiled phone cord was pulled down over the edge as Ryan stared at his feet, furrowing his brows. He began absentmindedly playing with the cord, looping it around his fingers. "Mm." He nodded. "わかった。" a brief pause. "あなたも。うん、バイバイ。"
Ryan let out a loud groan in frustration as soon as his mom hung up. He stood back up and placed the phone back onto the hook.
“What’s wrong?”
It was Min-Gi, of course, walking into the kitchen with freshly wet hair and a towel draped around his neck, fresh boxers worn.
“Nothing. I just had a very nice call.” Ryan replied bitterly, not bothering with any front. He was frustrated and he wanted Min to know. He wanted to vent. Min-Gi pulled out a chair from the kitchen table and sat down.
“What was it?”
“Nothing!” Ryan tossed his hands up. “Nothing! Just a nice,” He sighed. “A nice call from my mom.”
“What? Is she mad at you or something?” Min-Gi asked as he towel-dried his hair. Ryan scratched the back of his head, shrugging his shoulders.
“I don’t know. No, but she keeps pressing about me being too old to not have a girlfriend. She wants me to be sure I know to settle down or something in the future.” He shrugged again. “It’s just impossible to talk after she brings something like that up because she’s just scared I’ll die alone.”
“But you have me.” Min-Gi pointed out.
“Of course, but obviously I didn’t mention that to her. Well, not that I did when she stressed I needed someone romantically. I can’t exactly tell her.”
“Why not?”
Ryan gritted his teeth, letting a soft, exasperated sigh leak through them. Min-Gi frowned. “Look, I know why you can’t tell her. But I mean...” Min-Gi trailed off, looking away uncomfortably, as he tapped his fingers quietly along the kitchen tabletop. “You’re gonna tell them one day, right?”
“Min,” Ryan whispered. “If I tell my parents that I like guys, they will disown me. I’m sure of it.” His voice began to grow louder, trembling a bit with pent-up frustration. “They are so—” He groaned, balling his hands into fists. “They are so backwards in their thinking. It’s so frustrating! If I ever told them that we were living together as a couple, that I loved you romantically, that we sleep together in the same bed?!” His hands unclenched as he slowly brought them up in the air before clamping onto the top of his head, grabbing tufts of brunette hair. “They. Would hate me. A-And I can’t have that.”
He huffed, feeling the majority of his anger slip out with those vexed words and heavy-handed gestures, replaced now with a feeling of discomfiture at his outburst. He didn’t feel like apologizing though, but mumbled out one anyway as Min-Gi sat quietly, debating with himself on how to respond. Min-Gi understood what Ryan was feeling...to an extent. His own parents were very ignorant in their understanding of couples and gay people in general, though they had at least educated themselves on transgender people, and seemed more open (though still somewhat ignorant) to the LGBT community as a whole.
He still frequently worried that if he told them about Ryan that he’d get a negative reaction, but he was at least almost guaranteed a far better reaction than Ryan’s parents. Despite his better judgement, Min-Gi tried to comfort Ryan by sympathizing with him.
“Well, I get how you feel. I mean, I’ve never told my parents I’m gay. They don’t know we’re dating either.”
“But would they disown you?”
“What?”
Ryan sighed, pushing his glasses up the bridge of his nose, arching his back as he straightened up, clasping his hands together.
“If you told your parents that their son was gay, would they just be a little disappointed before accepting you anyways, or would they disown you?” Ryan asked, coming across with a rather condescending attitude towards Min-Gi’s attempt at sympathy.
Min-Gi shook his head, taken aback. He furrowed his brows, scoffing.
“Ryan, you’re not the only person who’s scared to come out to their parents. I don’t know how my parents would react—”
“You do though!” Ryan interrupted. “I mean, come on! They’ve already accepted you for being transgender! I really don’t think they’d care if you were gay. And if they did, they’d probably just better themselves and unlearn all their...ignorance.” He crossed his arms. Min-Gi sighed, holding his head in his hands as Ryan continued. “Not all parents are like that.”
“Ryan, I am SO sorry that your parents are the way they are.” Min-Gi said. “I’m sorry you come from a homophobic family. I know that’s difficult. No, I don’t know how difficult it is personally because, yes, my parents happen to be different than yours,” He stared at Ryan as the latter looked away, ashamedly averting his gaze to the floor. “But I was just trying to sympathize and just...I don’t know. I was only trying to help because I know you’re so stressed out!” Min-Gi rolled his eyes, letting out another heavy sigh as he ran out of steam. “I didn’t mean to upset you.”
Ryan almost wanted to come back with a biting remark, but...he didn’t. That wouldn’t make him feel any better. Besides, all Min was trying to do was help. Ryan stood in the kitchen for a moment, leaning his back against the sink as Min-Gi remained at the table, looking out the window. Neither one spoke.
Min-Gi glanced over at Ryan and then at the table. Ryan looked over at Min-Gi and internally cursed himself. He decided not to let the silence linger any longer. He couldn't risk Min-Gi getting up and leaving thinking he’s angry with him for trying to help.
“Min-Gi,” Ryan spoke up, removing his glasses briefly to wipe at his eyes. “I’m sorry. I’m just,” He put his glasses back on. “really scared. I’m scared, and as much as I love you, you won’t be able to change how my parents react and you won’t be able to make them love me if they end up…not. And that,” He placed his hand on his arm. “It just really worries me. I don’t want them to hate me. But you were trying to help; and I shouldn’t have said any of that stuff that I said. I’m sorry.” Min-Gi seemed to relax at his boyfriend’s apology, and nodded.
“It’s alright.” Min-Gi assured. “I just don't really know how to comfort you when we talk about this stuff. I really want to say the right thing, because I really hate seeing you so upset, but I just–I just can never find the right thing to say." Ryan hummed thoughtfully at that.
"Well you don't have to say anything to make me feel any better." Ryan told Min-Gi. He wanted to stop focusing on the future, fantasy conversation of coming out to his parents later, anyhow. "Cuddling might make me feel better though," he hinted at obviously as Min-Gi’s eyes widened.
"Huh?” Min-Gi perked up at that before nodding. “Ah, yeah, okay. Sure."
Ryan made his way over to the kitchen table where Min-Gi was sitting, not giving his boyfriend a moment to get up before he sat down in his lap. He leaned back, head resting against Min-Gi’s. Min tensed a bit underneath him, ears and cheeks dusted with a faint rosiness; But he smiled softly, gently wrapping his arms around Ryan's waist, resting his head against him. He pressed a light kiss against Ryan’s cheek, smiling against his smooth skin. It drew a small chuckle from him.
"Y'know, I already feel a little better." Ryan said quietly.
"Oh yeah?"
"Mhm, and the stuff with my parents is fine. Just stuff to deal with later.” Ryan breathed.
“Like when we get married."