Chapter Text
He was late. He was oh so very late for a very oh so important date. His interview for the position of royal alchemist!!!!! He’d never been so excited and worried in his life. But it wasn’t his fault that he was late, no not even by a little bit. Creamsicle had come home from working Ebb tide shift, greeting dawn from the wrong side. Joke is, she used to be a morning person. And she had come home and an experiment had eaten part of the sink and the house was a mess and she didn’t say anything. She sighed though and said she would take care of it when she woke up. That was worse than a lecture. So he had to clean the house and scrub the kitchen, and now he was a little bit late but that’s okay! He could make it up in the commute.
He was in such a rush that he didn’t notice the pink squiddle that came and knocked on the door after he left.
“That’s my kid brother, win or lose I’m right beside him.” and when the figure asked how Creamsicle actually wasn’t that much older than him, Creamsicle answered,
“It’s not a matter of age, but of bearing. Nothing seems to touch him, who else but kids and crazy folks walk like that.” The pink squiddle said he wasn’t a kid anymore, and then got a door in her face.
And then he saw that Blimblob was having trouble wheeling his cart into the bakery this fine morning. So of course he stopped to help and with his fine alchemical talents! He accidentally turned part of the street to tar, its okay though! Plumthroat fixed it and helped get Blimblob unstuck and helped him get his cart inside, so really its a net positive.
He was in such a rush that he didn’t notice the pink squiddle that came and knocked on the door after he left.
“That kid? Never watching where he steps, never watching where he goes, helps where he can though. It’s like weird though because he’s never helping for you, he’s helping to help him” and then just shakes his head and keeps sweeping.
Of course wherever Blimblob went Kiwimari was sure to follow. Kiwimari wasn’t green in spite of his name, whenever he was asked he said that he and Blimblob switched when he was really young. Kiwimari was exiting the bank where he worked turning sanddollars into loan sharks. Called himself, “The most valuable member of the community!!”, Creamsicle didn’t call him anything at all, she refused to talk about him, said Plumthroat was to make his own maladjusted decisions. He was gonna be late for a super important meeting. And of course Plumthroat swore that he would be able to help. Even though Blimblob did not want his help and was yelling at him to be left alone. A curmudgeonly son of a reef that Kiwimari was. They ended up catapulted up above the reef, and of course Plumthroat sunk them back down again with alchemical magic and got Kiwimari to his meeting but that didn’t stop him from grumbling as he sashayed off. It was okay though, Plumthroat was sure they’d be friends by the next time he came round to collect rent.
He was in such a rush that he didn’t notice the pink squiddle that came and knocked on the door after he left.
“I was late because of him of course!!”, Kiwimari didn’t even acknowledge the pink squiddle, until she asked that wasn’t he already talking about being late before Plumthroat even walked up? Kiwimari shushed her and smiled like eel oil at those he was meeting with,
“Doesn’t really matter, that boy ruined my morning before he was even in it!”
Plumthroat continued on before running into his lawyer friend, Minty Dream. Now, Plumthroat considered himself friends with every Squiddle but Minty Dream, Minty Dream pushed him some days. Annoying and full of questions and ill-timed observations that were almost certainly always wrong. Plumthroat sometimes wanted to push Minty Dream down deep in his heart but not like this! This was an accident he swears on his glubs!! Minty Dream’s papers went everywhere and he had court in ten minutes! But he could fix it, he promises, he had just the potion in his pocket and it may have made all the pages come to life and start eating people but they were all nice and organized he swears. And then he rushed off, forgetting to leave even an apology in his wake. To be honest, he didn’t even really want to apologize and that’s why he forgot.
He was in such a rush that he didn’t notice the pink squiddle that came and knocked on the door after he left. It was a few minutes before the trial but Minty always had time for the truth. He had seen her coming a fathom away.
“It’s about net positive with him. He’s whip smart and everything he makes does what it says it does, just with a few side effects. My papers are perfectly in order, a few minutes ago they were eating people and now, they are all color coded with relevant citations in the margins, I didn’t do that. Net positive.”
Plumthroat was super mega ultra late now but he had to go, he had to try. He ran into someone but it wasn't anyone important and he was in a rush. No worries now he had to keep moving!
He was in such a rush that he didn’t notice the pink squiddle that came up to Skybloo after he left. Skybloo was crying, big loathsome tears as only Skybloo could cry.
“With that squid it’s like if there isn’t something to be done he doesn’t care, if it can’t be fixed or broke more, it’s invisible to him, he doesn’t know my name, I’ve lived on his street for years!”
Princess Berryboo arrived at her mother’s feet at the same time that Plumthroat was finishing his speech. Apologizing for his lateness, promising to be the best court alchemist the seven seas had ever seen. Princess Berryboo had been following him just for this purpose. Her mother asked he what she had seen.
“He fixes what he breaks better than it was before but he has to break it first. He doesn’t apologize or help out of kindness, he’s focussed on some goal that only he can see, however, he is a good squid, who doesn’t give up even though he should. I’d recommend him for a different alchemical post just not the royal one.”
She ignored the look of betrayal Plumthroat threw her. She knew it didn’t matter what she would say to Plumthroat or to her mother. He would be offered the job because mommy dearest would take anything with a pulse and he would take it because he didn’t have sense. A net, positive, cast out for anything to catch. Her mother’s eyes were warm as she looked over the both of them, and in that moment she knew that Queen Hestistenia’s thoughts were the same as her own.
Don’t you know I’m trying to save your life.