Chapter Text
Alex was fully big, he knew he was fully big, and for once he wasn’t just trying to convince himself of that. In fact he wished he’d woken up little, or at least inbetween…. But no, he was fully big.
So why the fuck had he been awake for three hours now? He looked at his alarm clock, the one he never actually set the alarm for, it was only just six in the morning.
He let out a loud annoyed groan, then a sigh so dramatic he kind of wished that someone was at least around to hear it. He hadn’t even been playing on his phone because of that whole ‘phones make people not sleep’ thing which Alex is starting to think were an absolute lie.
He could reach for it now, every instinct encouraged him to do so, but instead he pushed himself out of his bed.
He didn’t knock on his parents’ door, the door was slightly cracked, and there were no signs of life coming from inside.
He could just about make out his parents in the darkness, Derek was led on his back on one side of the bed, he could just about make out the blue of his Columbia sweatshirt, the one which Alex had only recently relinquished, and only because it stopped smelling like Derek. Meredith was also laying on her back, only on her side of the bed. He sighed softly, he was about to take a step out of the room when he saw Meredith tapping the middle of the bed, between her and Derek. He hadn’t realized she had her eyes open.
“Alex, come on,” she whispered her beckoning across the room.
He took a step back into the room. “Derek’s asleep,” he whispered back.
He couldn’t see his mom’s face but he knew that she was raising an eyebrow at him, which was fair, when had his dad being asleep ever stopped him from getting into their bed, and if Derek thought that it did he would have had a long, boring conversation with Alex about how it shouldn’t stop him.
So he sighed again, just as softly as he had before, and walked into the room, he climbed up from the bottom, and by the time he’d reached the pillows his mom had pulled back the blanket and the duvet for Alex to climb under. He settled in, also lying on his back, looking up at the wooden slanted ceiling he could barely see in the dark.
“Go to sleep, Alex,” she whispered to him, taking hold of his hand under the covers, her thumb stroking over his knuckles in the same soothing way she always did, her eyes shut again.
He relaxed immediately but he didn’t sleep.
It was either five hours or two minutes later that Derek turned in his sleep, reaching across for Meredith, his arm draping over Alex as he did so.
“Lex?” Derek’s voice was slurred as he forced himself out of sleep, he blinked heavily as he tried to see him. “You have a bad dream, bud?”
Alex shook his head, not saying a word.
Derek was silent for a moment, then said, “Okay, Alex. Get some more sleep, okay, kid?”
Alex just let out a hummed response, watching as Derek closed his eyes, his arm stayed across Alex, which was nice…. It still didn’t help though.
More minutes passed and Alex still wasn’t taken to dreamland.
“Close your eyes, kid,” Derek told him, his own eyes firmly shut.
“They are,” Alex whispered. He guessed he shouldn’t be surprised when his dad opened one eye and caught him in a lie, immediately raising a brow.
“What’s wrong, Alex?” Meredith asked, her voice clear, she clearly hadn’t been asleep like Alex had thought she had.
Alex shrugged his shoulders, but he could feel both of his parents watching him still. “I just can’t sleep,” he explained quietly, “I didn’t mean to wake y’all…”
“It’s late,” Meredith reminded him, “or early, you still need sleep.”
Alex rolled his eyes, because how would the pressure help him fall asleep at all? He just send her a hum in response.
“Alexander,” Derek prompted, pushing himself up a little, taking his arm from around his kid and wife. “Mom’s right, you need sleep. You really didn’t have a nightmare? Or even a bad dream?”
Alex shook his head.
“Alex.”
He let out a groan hearing Meredith’s tone. It was very firmly her ‘Alex I’m your mother and we’re talking about this’ tone. To be fair, that was just her voice all the time, it wasn’t a bad thing, they were entirely different versions of themselves from the ones they’d been their intern year.
“It’s not late, or early,” he told them, “it’s gone six am.”
“That is still early,” Meredith let out a small groan.
“Yeah…. But…. you guys said I could get up at six… It's Christmas.” He couldn’t help but smile as both of them let out a groan.
“This is your fault.”
Derek ignored his wife’s swipe, “Alex, I said that to you when you were dropped so that you wouldn’t think you could open presents at three in the morning,” he grumbled lightly, “before we realised you were going to be big.”
Alex let out a loud and dramatic sigh, “Wow… so you guys love me more when I’m dropped…?”
Meredith laughed while Derek let out another groan.
“Lex.”
“Lesser loved Lex…”
“Alexander,” Derek immediately tickled Alex’s side, making him laugh and squirm in the bed.
“Mer,” Alex got out between his giggles, “save me.”
Meredith didn’t, instead she watched them while smiling, until Derek gave up. “How long have you been awake?”
He pulled the cover over his face. “I tried to sleep.” He protested.
“How long for?”
“Hours,” he admitted quietly.
“Because you’re excited about Christmas?”
Alex didn’t answer, he just let out a small groan, his cheeks burning. He was silent for a moment before admitting, “I wanna drop.” They were silent again, and eventually he gave up and poked his head out from under the duvet. “I was trying to,” he admitted to them, seeing them watch him. “I know I’m not due to until like two days time, but I want to be dropped.”
“You don’t want to be big?” Meredith raised a brow. “Why?”
“Cause.” He responded.
“Alex,” Meredith sent him a look, “why? You know we have presents for you when you’re big too, right? Not just when you’re dropped.”
“I know… I just… I want to be little… I’ve never been little at Christmas, and I… I want to?”
He hated how embarrassing things like this were, even now, despite all of the work he’d put into therapy, especially since the court case over a month ago… sure Rowan had told him it was going to take a lot of time, that Jimmy going away wasn’t doing to magically fix how he saw himself being a little, but still….
“Okay,” Meredith said simply.
“Really?”
“Of course, you know that we only disagree with headspaces when you need to drop.” She told him.
“I can’t drop… Not, like, for some psychological thing, I just can’t get myself to, I tried…”
“Mom and I will help you,” Derek told him, pushing himself up more, he ran his hands over his face trying to wake himself up, he looked like he wished he had at least another hour.
“Thanks….”
“But first,” Derek told him, ignoring the whine which came from him, “can we give you your big presents? Before you drop?”
Alex smiled softly and nodded, before quickly adding, “We’re still getting up now, right?”
Meredith let out a laugh, “Yeah, considering your dad told you we could. But next year we’re changing the wake up time to be at minimum seven.”
Alex turned his head to look at Derek, pouting a little. “Der…?”
Derek bit his lip then looked over Alex’s head.
Meredith rolled her eyes and shook her head, but she couldn’t fight the smile which was taking over her face. “Okay,” she sighed, “yeah, yeah, two against one, I get it.
Alex grinned at Meredith, and Meredith held her arms open to him. “I thought we can get up?” he whined.
“Happy Christmas,” she told him pointedly, smiling and shaking her head when he realized.
“Oh yeah,” he wrapped his arms around her, “Happy Christmas mom.” he whispered. He felt her arms tighten around him. A kiss going to the top of his head.
“Happy Christmas, Alex,” she whispered.
As soon as he felt Derek move he pulled back.
“Stay with your mom, I’m going to pee before we all get up,” Derek told him, ruffling his hair.
“Do you want to get his-?”
Derek nodded his head, coming to the end of the bed on his way to the en-suite.
“Get my what?”
“It’s a surprise,” Meredith told him. Shaking her head fondly when Alex flopped back onto Derek’s side of the bed dramatically. “After you’ve also peed.”
“I don’t gotta go.”
“Go!” Derek called over his shoulders as he shut the door of the en suite.
Meredith watched Alex for a moment before he finally met her eyes. “Go,” she repeated, pointing to the door out of the room. “Unless you want to wear a pull up?”
Alex blushed, “I never want to.”
“It would help you drop,” she pointed out.
“Yeah but… I don’t wanna be peeing in front of y’all when you’re focusing on presents.”
“It wouldn’t be the first time, it doesn’t matter to us, Alex.”
Alex sighed and pushed himself up, “No, I’ll go, I don’t want it to like… leak or something while I’m giving you my presents.”
“You got us presents?”
Alex blushed and rolled his eyes, “Ho ho ho,” he remarked sarcastically over his shoulder as he pushed himself out of the bed and started to the door.
“I wouldn’t be trying to steal Santa's job,” she called to him, “that’s the kinda thing which puts you on the naughty list,” she laughed as Alex turned to look at her with a frown. “You’re not on his list.”
“He’s not even…” Alex shook his head.
Meredith smiled, because of course Alex knew Santa wasn’t real, when he was big, but also he had said he wasn’t 100% certain, it was hard to be when 40% of the time you believed, she had a feeling he was hedging his bets, just to be safe. “Go on, sweet boy.”
When Alex walked back into the room Meredith and Derek were in bed together, no longer a space for him between him, but luckily they weren’t doing anything traumatising, just leaning back against the headrest with Derek’s arm wrapped around his wife’s shoulder. He pulled a face as soon as he saw the stocking on the bed with the letter A on the front.
“Oh, wait I’ll get your guys ones-”
“-Whoah, hold it kid, we’ll do them downstairs.”
“You brought mine up.”
Meredith raised her brow, “This is your stocking, you have actual presents downstairs.”
Alex stared at them for a moment. “But….”
“Come here,” Derek nodded at the bed, he waited for Alex to climb on before he continued, “in my family we always did stockings in my mom and dads bed, then actual presents in the den.”
Alex sent Meredith a ‘wtf’ look, but she shrugged. “I opened my stocking in my room by myself, before doing presents with my great aunt.”
Okay, maybe for once he was completely the odd one out, normally his mom’s mom being the worst meant that they were similar. But instead he shrugged his shoulders and scooped up the stocking. “Wait, Jack has a stocking like this,” he realised, before unceremoniously tipping out the presents, all were wrapped, except for a few things of candy and a little Pokemon Japanese soda thing.
“Your grandma sent them for us to fill, they’re the same ones she got for all of her grand-kids.”
“Did she buy every letter?”
“Yeah… probably knowing my mother.”
“Wait, where was it?”
“We knew that if you had it in your room you would open everything by one and not sleep, we had originally been planning on doing that, which is why everything’s wrapped, we thought we might be able to get a slight lie in.”
Alex let out a small laugh, “You guys should'a known that wouldn’t work.”
“You say that, but I’m going to take a cat nap while you open them,” Derek opened his mouth and snored, smiling as he made his wife laugh.
“Your eyes are literally open.”
“I can nap with my eyes open, that’s how I listen to your uncle bicker all day.” he smirked, then started to ‘snore’ again.
“Daaaad,” Alex whined, pouting at him.
Derek smiled, as he always did when Alex called him dad when he was big, or little, which was happening more often now. “Aleeeex.”
Alex sent him a look as pathetic as he could, “I want… You guys are gonna watch me right? That’s like a Christmas thing, right? Like in movies?”
Derek stopped playing around and smiled, nodding his head.
“We’ll both watch you,” Meredith reassured him, “your dad’s done with teasing you, as we want you to stay big just until you’ve opened your presents downstairs.” She sent her husband a look, only when he nodded his head did she look back at Alex. “Go on, honey.”
That was all he needed, he immediately started to dig into the presents, using his teeth to open some of the harder to open presents, even when Meredith and Derek told him to just ask for help… he had to keep them on their toes.
Twenty minutes later everything was finally unwrapped; mostly they were novelty toys like a voice changer, but there were also a few dollars hidden in fluffy christmas socks, stimtoys, and some keyrings as he and his cousins had taken to trying to outdo each other with fun keyrings.
Alex was beaming and trying to break into his voice changer when Meredith and Derek stopped him, looking slightly panicked.
“How about you save that for the next time you’re with your uncle Owen,” Derek ‘suggested’, “and we go and open some actual presents?”
Thankfully that was enough to convince Alex, and to save their ears. Alex shot up off the bed, Meredith and Derek following, both donning dressing gowns before they let Alex move.
Their den had been decorated since the start of December, at Alex’s insistence, it was more than any of them had ever decorated, and the tree was massive, now there were presents filling the room.
“When did you guys…?”
“Who said it was us?” Meredith wrapped her arms around his chest from behind, “Only the ones you saw last night were us.”
“Don’t say it was Santa…” Alex groaned.
“Well, I didn’t do it, did you Derek?”
Derek shook his head, “No… I guess I can check the security cameras?”
Alex let out a whine, “Guys.”
“Come on, let’s get these open,” Derek pushed him gently in the direction of the presents, “before your mother makes you drop.” He smirked at his wife, happy to be able to get her back after she had told him to stop teasing Alex before he dropped.
Alex didn’t need to be told twice, he skidded down onto the floor next to the presents. “Do I get to start?”
“Let the carnage begin,” Meredith smiled, sitting down on the couch, Derek sitting beside her with her arm wrapped around her.
“Can I give you my ones?”
“You open those first,” she told him, “we have a special one to give you from us, we’ll give each other ours too. That sound okay? Or do you really want to give us ours?”
Alex chewed his lip when he thought it through, “I might start to drop if I give you the main one I got y’all,” he admitted.
“Let’s wait then,” Derek told him softly, “then mom and I will help you drop.” Alex blushed and Derek pressed on, “Go on, sunshine, there’s stuff there which we don’t want you getting into when you’re dropped incase you eat something.”
“I ate Lego once…. or three times, thrice… whatever.” He smiled as his parents laughed, then he finally started.
He had given up saying that they ‘didn’t have to do so much’ and that they ‘shouldn’t have’, because they kept telling him that this was the least they could do, etc, so he gave up. But he was now surrounded by new clothes, sneakers, headphones, he got gift cards for the movies and for his switch, books and journals, and more Lego than he’d ever even imagined.
He’d given Meredith and Derek the presents he got them, some of their favorite snacks, and a locket for Mer, while Derek got a new fancy wallet which Mark had helped him pick out.
Meredith and Derek had exchanged several, a lot of theirs were photo themed including a canvas of a photo of Meredith and Alex from thanksgiving, and one which apparently Mark had sent Meredith from the airport of Derek with Alex and his mom in a fancy frame.
Eventually Meredith held out a small thin present to Alex.
He tore it open to reveal a brand new iphone. His mouth dropped open, but before he could say a word she held up her finger.
“We still have to check it every so often, we checked with Zac. And all our rules stand from the last time - no social media we don’t know about and can’t see, any messages from anyone you don’t feel comfortable about you tell us, any purchases over $20 which aren’t food we have to approve, do I need to go on?”
Alex shook his head insistently, already pulling it out, “This is sick! I promise I’ll do all that.”
“Your location stays on, all the time, and you’re using the secure cases we got you,” Derek added, then smiled, “we trust you just don’t give us a reason not to, okay?”
Alex nodded his head, “Uh huh, I promise! Thank you!”
He threw his arms around them, almost dropping the phone, Derek quickly caught it but he didn’t tell him off, he and Meredith just hugged Alex.
“Okay,” Meredith said after the hug had ended and Alex had started to mess around on his phone, “let’s get you dropped, baby-”
“-Wait! Wait, wait, wait!”
“Do you not want to drop?” Derek asked, “Please tell me it’s not just because you want to play with your phone, not when you feel like you want to-”
“Noooo,” Alex whined, he placed his phone on the table then dived under the tree, pulling out two last presents, he held one out and kept the other held to his chest, “You’ve got to open this first,” he told them. They both looked a little confused but Derek took it, and opened it, Meredith leaning on him to look.
Inside was a photo frame made to look like a slab of wood. There was a photo of their Seattle family, all of them, with Meredith, Derek, and Alex at the center, all beaming. To the right of the photo were the words ‘DNA doesn’t make a family, love does’. “I know you guys like that cheesy cr-stuff-”
He was pulled into a tight hug, “Wait, wait,” he whined again, pulling out of the hug, “there’s another part!” he held it out and this time Meredith took it.
He watched as they unwrapped it, their eyes teared up as he watched them look at the framed photo. He shuffled from foot to foot. “I, er… I asked auntie Cristina if she had some blue post-its left… she had one she let me have… You, er, I know you guys make things official with them, and I know it’s not like official yet, but I didn’t want to have to wait until next year, I wanted-”
He was pulled into another hug, this time it was even tighter, even though there was no way he would wiggle out this time.
He let them hold him for a while, before saying, “So… is it a yes?”
“Yes, koala,” Derek pressed a kiss to his head.
Meredith pressed a kiss to the other side, “Yes, we’ll be your parents.”
Alex finally let himself fully sink into their hold, knowing full well that now dropping wouldn’t be hard at all.