Chapter Text
Cal had been quieter and more reserved for a while after the ‘escape pod incident’. It eerily reminded Prauf of how his kid had acted right after Prauf had found him, though he was getting back to his old self with time. Even so, Prauf found himself actually seeing his kid less and less. Cal was out of the house more often than not, and with Prauf’s extra shifts that he took when he could get them, they didn’t end up seeing much of each other outside of work.
Every once and a while, however, their schedules aligned enough to share a meal together. They were sat on the couch with a simple dinner, with a podrace projected onto the wall in front of them. Prauf tried to make sure they had ‘real’ food whenever they ate together, as it made the small bit of time they spent together that much more special (and maybe it eased his conscience a little that he wasn’t supplying his kid with absolutely nothing else nutrient-wise - even if ‘nutrition’ was practically a joke on Bracca). It was the first food Prauf had even been able to have that day, and he was savouring it as much as possible. Cal appeared to be doing the same thing, though Prauf hoped against everything he knew his kid was that Cal had eaten more than him.
There was one question, however, that had stuck with him ever since their dealings with the escape pod. How long had Cal been on Bracca, exactly, before Prauf had found him? Sure Prauf had a million other questions (and many that seemed slightly more pressing than asking about a date), but it was more than likely that Cal wouldn’t give a straight answer to any of them. But this one didn’t seem to leave Prauf alone, he’d never really considered how long Cal may have had to survive on his own. He knew for certain that Cal wasn’t a Bracca native and therefore hadn’t been on the planet for long, and his curiosity on the subject only seemed to increase with time. There’d never really been a good time to bring it up, until now. Actually, there hadn’t really been any time.
“Hey Cal,” His kid’s head swiveled to face him, expression caught between curiosity and a smile, “I’ve been meaning to ask you about something.”
“Oh, sure.” Cal leaned back, pivoting slightly to better face Prauf. “What’s up?”
“I was just curious, and I mean, you don’t have to answer, but I was just wondering how long you were on Bracca before joining The Guild?”
He debated mentioning the night before when they’d first properly met, but ultimately decided against it. They’d never actually discussed their first encounter in the alcove, and Prauf was unsure of the reaction he’d get. Cal seemed to consider the question, stirring his dinner absentmindedly with his fork.
“I’m not entirely sure - I mean I wasn’t exactly keeping track of the days or anything. If I had to guess, it was definitely more than a fortnight but probably less than a month.”
For whatever reason, that was longer than Prauf had expected it to have been.
“What… did you do all that time?”
Prauf was slightly hesitant to ask, but Cal didn’t seem to mind, shrugging his shoulders.
“I don’t remember much of the first little bit if I’m honest, I was… generally pretty out of it. I guess I was in like, shock or something.” Cal smiled as if it was no big deal, taking a bite of food, while Prauf tried to hide the flip his stomach did. He knew something terrible had happened to Cal before he came to Bracca, but his kid was certainly careful about letting details slip. It was weird - worrying. But asking directly about it shut Cal up faster than anything, so Prauf kept to himself. “It was right around the time that the Empire was coming into power, so a lot of things were new and changing all at once. I was terrified of them - the Empire. I mean I guess I still am a bit, but back then I was really, really scared. If I’m being honest, it’s why I slept in your closet for the first little while - I didn’t want them to find me.”
“Really?”
It was a bad response, but Prauf couldn’t think of a better one fast enough. Cal laughed a little, looking down at the food he’d gone back to stirring.
“I know, it’s stupid.”
“No, it’s not. It’s not stupid Cal - you were barely 12, and if the Empire wants people to trust and believe in them then they’re gonna need a serious overhaul of their PR department.”
Cal laughed again, harder this time, looking back up at Prauf.
“They definitely would.” They fell into a brief silence, both taking a few bites of food with attention turned back to the padrace before eventually, Cal spoke up again. “There was this… guy.”
Both Prauf’s interest and concern were instantly peaked.
“Oh? In the early days that you were on Bracca?”
“Yeah…” Cal paused to stir his food, as if considering his next words. “Maybe a week or two after I’d first arrived on Bracca, he caught me stealing a ration bar from one of the shops. Said he’d give me a job, a place to stay, food. I should have probably guessed it was too good to be true.”
“You went with him?”
Prauf tried in vain to hide his incredulity, though Cal only shrugged.
“Well I was pretty desperate, and I mean, I was used to people helping each other. I hadn’t really learned yet what it was like on Bracca, I guess.” Prauf nodded, though still felt uneasy about where this story was going. “I stayed with him for maybe a few more weeks. My payment was the roof over my head and two ration bars a day, while I did all of his busywork which was mainly cleaning. And he would just yell at me for anything - I wasn’t fast enough, I wasn’t precise enough, I wasn’t working hard enough, I wasn’t standing in the right spot. It was honestly ridiculous looking back on it.”
Cal laughed, taking a bite of his food, but Prauf’s uneasiness only grew. He didn’t understand how Cal could laugh at something so awful. His kid seemed so… cavalier and detached about the whole situation. As if he were speaking about someone else’s life entirely, or something he’d seen on the holonet. It wasn’t lost on Prauf that this was the most Cal had ever opened up in the years of knowing him, and it wasn’t something that was likely to happen again. Or who knew, maybe they were turning a corner.
“You left, though?”
“Yeah, eventually. He got fed up with my ‘inadequacies’, and decided that if I couldn’t be good for work, I could be good for something else.” Cal paused for a moment, lost in thought, before speaking quietly. “He tried to… he wanted to… use me for things… sex, mainly.”
If Prauf was eating at that moment, he was sure he would choke.
“But he- he didn’t, did he…?”
“No.” Cal said quickly, smiling, though he didn’t look particularly happy. “He tried, but then I tried to run and he hit me.” Cal laughed a little, bringing up a hand to his mouth. “Sorry, it’s not funny, I just have to laugh or….”
Cal laughed again, taking a bite of his food before sobering again. Prauf could think of multiple ends to his kid’s sentence, and none of them were good.
“And after all that, you still went back to my place with me when I’d asked?”
“Yeah… well, I knew you well enough at that point and I remember being pretty sick at the time. Besides, I left the next morning.”
“But you still came back?”
Prauf knew his own intentions were good, but if it had been anyone else… And yet Cal only shrugged, twirling his fork absentmindedly.
“I had a lot to think about in the hours between leaving and meeting you at work. And I guess I decided… I trusted you.”
Prauf tried to ignore the way his chest swelled with emotion.
“You did?”
“I do.” Cal amended, “I Trust you. To be honest Prauf, I… kriff, I can’t believe I’m telling you all this… after I ran from that man I had nothing left. I didn’t know what I was going to do, I was at the end of my rope. And then I saw you, and the Guild logo on your shirt, and figured they couldn’t be all bad if you were so nice to me. Even if I ran from you at first. I wasn’t exactly planning on ever seeing you again, but I guess things have a funny way of working out. Though, if working in The Guild hadn’t worked out, I… I mean, life didn’t really… seem all that worth living.”
The moment the words left Cal’s mouth, Prauf felt his heart drop. Cal was… his kid was thinking about…
“And if I hadn’t found you that night?”
He knew Cal knew what night he was referring to.
“I don’t know, Prauf.”
Cal returned to stirring his dinner, eyes far away and vaguely on the podrace - though it didn’t look like he was actually watching it.
“Well you don’t still… think like that now, do you?” Cal looked back down at his dinner, not giving an answer. Meanwhile the pit forming in Prauf’s stomach only grew. “Cal?”
“Not really...”
“Not really?”
“No, I don’t.” Cal raised his gaze to Prauf, though quickly shifted his eyes away again. “I… look, I don’t… I don’t know…”
“Okay…” Prauf took a bite of his food, attempting to look more at ease than he felt. “Do you feel like… elaborating?”
Cal shrugged, looking down again while stirring his dinner.
“Not… no, I-I don’t, really… can we just drop it? Pretend I never said anything?”
As much as Prauf wanted to push the subject - wanted to ask, and comfort, because karking hells this was a bit of a big deal and his kid was weighing the value of his life and - he bit his tongue. Cal needed patience, he would open up when he felt ready. If he ever did.
“Alright… well, you know where to find me if you ever do. Want to elaborate, or talk, or anything.” Prauf nudged Cal gently, who looked up at him. “Ever, kid. I mean it.”
Cal nodded, eyes shifting around the room.
“Thank you…” Cal’s gaze finally landed on Prauf, an edge of seriousness finding its way onto his tone. “I… care about you. More than I’ve ever cared about almost anyone. That’s why I’m telling you this, because I really do trust you, Prauf.”
Prauf smiled, feeling a few tears gather in his eyes despite himself. His emotions really had been all over the place, he never could have guessed this was where his question would lead him. He was also sure this was the most information he’d ever learned about his kid from the source, the ‘usually quiet and secretive about everything’ Cal himself. Prauf really could feel his kid’s trust, almost overwhelmingly so. He set his dinner on the coffee table, noting that the podracer he’d thought was going to win had gotten blown up at some point while Cal’s was in the lead (though in the moment he didn't particularly care), and pulled Cal into a hug. His kid didn’t even freeze at first, immediately hugging Prauf back despite his own food still in his lap.
“I care about you too, kid. More than you could ever know.”