Chapter Text
“Reading is stupid,” Techno groused, for the 32nd time that day. His tutor had given him a book to read over the weekend, and not only did he hate the grueling process of reading it, he hated it after he’d read it.
“Still struggling with it?” Wilbur asked, sounding sympathetic. He himself was reading a book (of his own free will for some reason). Unlike Techno who was seated at his desk to try to concentrate, Wilbur had made himself a blanket pile on the floor of Techno’s room and was laying on his stomach with a much larger book open in front of him. Reading was one of the few activities he could do quietly, and he had chosen to do so to keep Techno company without disrupting him.
“No,” Techno said, tossing the book onto the floor. It skirted the edges of Wilbur’s blanket pile. “I finished reading it. It’s still stupid.”
It had taken him an hour to get through the small book, and at the end of it, the story was stupid anyway. It was about the moon being bullied by a bunch of people in a village. Which, either the moon was just a rock or it was a god, so Techno wasn’t sure why the hell they’d be bullying it. Then the moon ran away, and the townspeople regretted it because they couldn’t see at night. Techno thought it would make a better (and more accurate) story if they all regretted it because the moon disappearing would probably absolutely screw up the entire ecosystem of their seafront town if not flood it completely causing many, many deaths. Instead, they just said sorry to the moon and it returned without any bloodshed or drownings. A horrible story.
Wilbur hummed and grabbed the book, thumbing through it, eyes quickly scanning the pages. He managed to read the whole thing in less than a minute. “Hmm, yeah, I think I see the problem,” he said. “This book isn’t any good for you.”
“It’s the one my tutor gave me,” Techno said.
“Yeah, but,” Wilbur said. “I don’t think it’s… something interesting for you. It’s not a bad book. Just, uh, a bit for babies.”
That was probably a pretty good assessment. The book was for 6-year-olds. “I just don’t get the point,” Techno said, rubbing his eyes from where a slight headache had formed. “Why do I even need to know how to read? I survived…” over two decades, “6 years without it.”
“Hmm,” Wilbur contemplated. “Reading’s pretty important.”
“For what?”
“I don’t know,” Wilbur said. “Stuff like taxes and buying a house.”
“Well, I’ll just never do taxes or buy a house then.”
“It can also be fun,” Wilbur insisted while smiling.
“My experiences so far beg to differ,” Techno said with a scowl.
“Well, that’s probably because all the books you have read so far are silly kids books,” Wilbur said. “I’m sure there are books you’d like.”
“I doubt it,” Techno said.
“I think you’d like this book,” Wilbur said, pointing at the book open in front of him.
“The librarian literally asked ‘Are you sure you want that book?’ when you went to check it out,” Techno said dryly.
“Yeah, but that wasn’t because it’s boring,” Wilbur said.
“That’s what it sounded like to me,” Techno said. He’d also heard big books were the boring ones, and that was a big book.
Wilbur just smiled at him. “I just bet you’d love it,” he insisted.
“And I bet I wouldn’t.”
“Hmm,” Wilbur said. “How about I read you 10 pages of this book a day for two weeks, and then you decide if you think reading is stupid or not.”
Techno scoffed. “No. I’m not wasting my time.”
Wilbur narrowed his eyes. “I’ll get you a McDonald’s coffee of your choice if you listen for the full two weeks,” he tempted.
“How exactly will you do that?” Techno asked doubtfully.
“I have my ways,” Wilbur said with that secret smile of his that spelled nothing but trouble.
That sounded worrying... like something Techno as a responsible adult should tell Phil about. And yet… Phil would not buy him a frappe even if he did tell.
“No more than 10 pages a day,” Techno insisted.
Wilbur smiled at him with an amused sparkle in his eyes. “Oh, don’t worry. There’s no way I’m reading you more than 10 pages of this a day.”
“Deal,” Techno said. Wilbur patted the blankets beside him and, with a sigh, Techno slipped onto the floor to lay next to him. Wilbur scooted the book over so it’s spine was lined up with the space between them and Techno could see both pages easily. He pointed to the words as he read and Techno pretended to be trying to follow along.
“Tell me, O Muse,” Wilbur began, “of that ingenious hero who traveled far and wide after he had sacked the famous town of Troy.”
5 Days Later
“Phil,” Techno said calmly. “I need you to invoke your rights as a parent.”
“Huh?” Phil asked. He half sat up in bed and squinted at Techno, his face illuminated by the light from the hallway. “Wha?”
“You son,” Techno said. “He needs to read me more of the book.”
“Book?” Phil asked. “What book? Why aren’t you asleep?”
“Don’t listen to him!” Wilbur yelled running at him full force from down the hallway. Techno slipped into Phil’s room and rounded the bed, so he’d have a barrier between himself and the creature. Wilbur pointed at him accusingly from Phil’s doorway. “We had a deal!”
“What are you two doing?” Phil asked.
“He won’t read me more of the book!”
“I told Techno I would read him 10 pages exactly of a book every day. If he wants to know more, he’s going to have to learn to read himself.” Wilbur made a face at him. Techno glared back.
Phil looked between them, still seeming to be trying to process what was going on. Eventually, he seemed to understand enough to come to a conclusion. “You… do need to learn how to read, Techno.”
“Phil!”
“Exactly!”
“I am willing to get you a dictionary,” Phil offered. “In the morning.”
“Ugh,” Techno groaned. Even Phil had betrayed him. “This is not fair.”
“This is the most fair thing to ever happen,” Wilbur insisted.
“You will pay dearly for this, child.”
“Blah, blah blah, blah, blah blah blah,” Wilbur said in response. So very dearly would he pay.
“Stop,” Phil said. “Go to bed. Argue in the morning. You have school,” he said to Wilbur and then looked at Techno, “and you have tutoring tomorrow. Seeing as you actually want to learn to read now, you should probably get some sleep.”
“But I need to know what will happen in the book next,” Techno insisted.
“And the only way to do that is to learn how to read, Technoblade,” Phil said. He was just as bad as his demon child.
Said demon child was grinning at him as he stomped out of the room. “Watch your back,” Techno said as he elbowed passed him.
“Oh so scary,” Wilbur mocked from behind him. “Goodnight!”
Technoblade hated everyone.
