Chapter Text
Speedrun World Tour
♡︎
Germany was done.
Not tired. Not mildly irritated.
Done.
The moment the camera crew returned from the "Canada-induced collective cuteness coma," Ludwig reset his posture like a man going into battle.
“We’re picking up the pace,” he announced, steel in his voice. “Stay close, do not touch anything, and don’t ask why the bust of Napoleon winks at people.”
The reporters nodded. Silently. Fearfully.
And so began Germany’s Speedrun Tour Arc™.
♡
They turned a corner—slammed right into Netherlands.
“Ah. You're filming?” he asked, not bothering to hide the joint tucked behind his ear. “Cool.”
“INTRODUCE YOURSELF,” Germany barked.
“Netherlands. Human name: Lars. I grow illegal stuff legally.”
“…Don’t write that down,” Germany snapped as they moved on.
♡
Next up: Belgium appeared in the hallway with a tray of fresh waffles.
“Oh! Are these your guests? Bonjour! I’m Belgium—Elise. Waffles?”
The crew accepted with tearful gratitude.
Behind her, Luxembourg waved from a laptop.
“Hi, I’m Luxembourg—Lucien. I’m working remotely. Please don’t pan the camera down, I’m not wearing pants.”
♡
Germany didn’t pause.
He just gave up emotionally a long time ago.
♡
The library’s upper floor: Romania floated by, upside down, casually sipping blood-orange juice from a goblet.
“I’m Romania. Vlad. Yes, I’m aware of the vampire rumors.”
One of the reporters whimpered.
♡
In the music room, Czechia was playing the piano, brows furrowed in concentration.
She stopped just long enough to say, “I’m Czechia. My name is Hana. If this goes viral, tell the world Slovakia can’t play piano to save his life.”
From behind the curtain, Slovakia shouted, “I HEARD THAT!”
♡
Down the hall—Poland kicked open a door wearing the brightest neon crop top known to mankind.
“Yo! Am I, like, late to the influencer stream? Anyway, name’s Poland—Feliks. Y’all are obsessed with me now, aren’t you? I knew it.”
Germany physically dragged the crew away before they could film more glitter.
♡
Switzerland glared from a window above with a sniper rifle slung across his back.
“Go one step into my room and I will file a formal complaint.”
Next to him, Liechtenstein smiled sweetly, hands clasped.
“I’m Liechtenstein—Lili. Please don’t mind my brother. He’s just very… Swiss.”
♡
“I’m Switzerland and I can still hear you,” came the cold reply.
♡
Hungary passed by with a frying pan, nodding at the camera.
“Oh you guys are still here? If any of the men harass the reporters, let me know.”
A chorus of “thank you” from the crew followed.
Behind her, Austria muttered something about “reputation” and “classical music standards falling.”
♡
They reached the lounge, where Greece was half-asleep on a beanbag chair surrounded by cats.
“I’m Greece… or Heracles. Do you have any idea how hard it is to get stray cats to behave during a livestream?”
One of the cats bit the mic.
♡
The final stretch—Germany looked like he’d aged ten years in an hour.
“Alright,” he said through gritted teeth. “That concludes the main living quarters, kitchens, lounges, and library wings. We will now—”
♡︎
“OH HEY! Are we still streaming?!”
Germany flinched.
Denmark came sliding down the banister like it was a waterpark ride.
“Name’s Denmark—Mathias! You guys see the sauna earlier? We looked amazing.”
“WE’RE DONE HERE,” Germany declared, voice cracking.
♡
As the camera panned to his dead-inside expression, the livestream chat exploded:
🎥 LIVESTREAM COMMENTS
“Germany’s soul has left his body”
“this is what trauma looks like in real time”
“someone give this man a vacation and a beer”
“he’s running on pure bratwurst and desperation”
He took a deep breath.
“Stream break. Again. We will resume for the final segment soon.”
And with that, he walked offscreen like a ghost.
♡
“The Home Stretch (And Still No Peace)”
♡︎
By some divine miracle—or perhaps Germany’s sheer military-grade willpower—they made it to the final corridor of the mansion.
And along the way? They ran into even more Hetalians.
Germany’s grip on the tour folder had long since bent the edges, his eyes dead-set on the hallway ahead as if walking faster would make the livestream end sooner.
But fate, as always, had other plans.
♡
In the art gallery hall, Ukraine was adjusting a giant sunflower painting, accidentally smudging her dress with yellow paint.
“Oh! Guests! I’m Ukraine—Katya,” she greeted cheerfully, giving a warm wave. “Please ignore the paint on my face. It’s… authentic now.”
♡
Egypt was spotted meditating in one of the smaller sun rooms, surrounded by incense and soft chanting music.
“I’m Egypt. My name is Gupta. Kindly keep your voices down, the cats are napping.”
♡
Thailand, hands full of flower garlands, popped out of a hallway doorway.
“Sawasdee ka! I’m Thailand—Somsak. Want some jasmine? I grow them by the koi pond!”
Germany dragged the crew away mid-offer.
♡
After some more introductions, they turned toward the main living room, Germany finally paused and turned to the camera.
“We’ve encountered about half of the current residents of the Hetalian residence,” he stated, adjusting his jacket with a sigh.
“The others are presently unavailable—many are occupied with their duties in their own countries. Some are expected to reveal themselves in future press conferences, within their respective homelands, on their own terms.”
He gave a small nod. “This is not the last you will see of the nations.”
♡
And with that…
They entered the main living room.
It was spacious, with ornate couches, a gleaming chandelier, and giant windows letting in soft afternoon light. Cameras panned to the seating area already prepared for the internationally anticipated press Q&A.
Germany took center stage—because of course he did—and signaled for everyone to take their seats.
“Now begins the question-and-answer segment,” he declared. “Please remain professional. We are still technically representatives of the world.”
A beat passed.
“…Some of us more than others.”
The camera crew quickly set up microphones as reporters, still recovering from seeing a quarter of the United Nations in silk robes or covered in cat hair, braced themselves.
Pens clicked. Cameras zoomed. The chat blew up.
Germany took a steadying breath.
Let the questioning begin.
♡
“Your Nations, Live and Unfiltered”
♡︎
The cameras focused. Microphones were adjusted.
Ludwig stood stiffly at the center of the living room like a soldier reporting to duty, flanked by several others who had joined him for moral support (or to cause mayhem—results varied).
The Q&A segment had officially begun.
Reporters raised their hands cautiously. One brave soul stepped forward.
“First question—uh, this is for… well, all of you, I guess. Are you really immortal?”
A pause.
“Yes,” Ludwig said simply. Then added, “We age differently. But… yes.”
Alfred suddenly leaned forward with a grin. “Yup. I’ve lived through every Super Bowl, every revolution, and the invention of chicken nuggets. Immortality’s a wild ride, dude.”
Someone in the back coughed.
Alfred added, “I still look this good, by the way. Just sayin’.”
♡
Second question, from another journalist:
“What… are you, exactly?”
That earned a brief silence.
Then, Feliciano perked up from where he was sitting beside Ludwig, waving.
“We’re nations!” he chirped. “Like, the physical form of our country’s soul! Neat, right?”
Kiku nodded beside him. “We personify our cultures, histories, politics, and ideologies. A conceptual embodiment, if you will.”
“…And we can bleed,” Gilbert added unhelpfully from the back.
Yao, lounging with a cup of tea, sighed deeply. “We’re a lot of things. Living archives, walking disasters, and unofficial babysitters. It’s exhausting. I didn’t ask for this.”
There was a beat of silence.
Then he took another sip of tea and muttered, “And now I have to explain memes to Ivan. Again.”
♡
The reporters wrote furiously.
The livestream chat was going feral.
🌍 LIVESTREAM CHAT:
@TeaInTheUK: “they’re hot AND immortal???? god really said yes to everything huh”
@EagleEyeNews: “wait they’re literally centuries old. I asked my crush out today and now I feel like a toddler.”
@Axis_Obsessed: “Is Gilbert canonically unhinged or is that just a Tuesday for him???”
@MapleSyrupHeart: “MATTHEW BABY BEAR NATION PROTECT HIM 😭😭😭”
Meanwhile, the group occasionally peeked at the live comment screen.
Antonio leaned over to look.
“Oh! Look, Lovino! Someone shipped us together! ‘#TomatoTwinsButMakeItRomantic’!”
Lovino blushed furiously and muttered, “Idiots, all of them…”
Francis, sipping wine, cooed, “The internet adores us, mon amis~”
Elizabeta was checking Twitter. “Oh wow. Half of the globe is having a gay awakening. I’m flattered.”
♡
Another reporter asked, “Are you… going to take over the world?”
Ludwig blinked.
“No.”
Long pause.
“I barely keep track of everyone’s laundry schedule. World domination is not on my agenda.”
Ivan, who had been sitting peacefully with a sunflower-patterned mug, smiled sweetly.
“Da~ I have no plans to take over the world… today.”
Everyone stared at him.
“Joke,” he added with a soft giggle. “Mostly.”
♡
A final question was asked, this time softer.
“Why didn’t you reveal yourselves earlier?”
There was a pause.
This time, Matthew spoke up, voice quiet but sincere.
“Because… you weren’t ready. And maybe we weren’t either.”
Feliciano nodded, eyes serious for once. “But now, the world is changing. And so are we.”
Alfred looked directly into the camera. “Hey. We might be literal countries, but we’re also people. Weird, awkward, kinda stupid people sometimes—but we care. That’s what matters, right?”
Yao added with a calm nod, “Humanity isn’t perfect. Neither are we. But we’ve been here since the beginning. We’re not going anywhere.”
♡
Ludwig exhaled slowly.
He turned to face the camera directly.
“For centuries, we’ve existed in secret. Watching. Guiding. Messing up. Fixing things. And sometimes… just surviving.”
“But this time, we’ll do it together—with all of you.”
♡
As the Q&A wrapped up, the camera panned out to capture all of them who had gathered in the room.
Some were lounging. Others were trying to hide behind furniture (looking at you, Arthur). A few waved at the camera.
A few held hands. Some smiled. One or two were already asleep.
It didn’t matter.
The world had seen them now.
And somehow, instead of fear or outrage…
The world had fallen in love.
♡
Ludwig stepped forward one last time.
“This concludes the tour and press event. On behalf of all nations…”
He looked around at his chaotic, ridiculous, impossible family.
“…thank you for watching.”
The screen slowly faded to black.
The livestream chat was still exploding when it ended.
🌍 STREAM ENDED
Thank you for spending the day with the world.