Chapter Text
Chuuya Nakahara.
Experiment A258
Nothing more than 2,383 lines of code that make up this container he calls a body. This body that contains a creature so vile that it had to be dubbed a God to appease it.
He will never be certain that he truly is Chuuya Nakahara, or if he is it.
Arahabaki.
Just thinking about the damn thing makes it stir under his skin like trillions of bugs nipping at each and every vein in his body.
It's disgusting, vile.
A beast.
There is nothing human about him, nothing human about it.
But we are all each other, we are the one in the same.
Together locked in the destructive dance of corruption when you give over your mind to me, willingly because you NEED me. It's beautiful, it's tragic and it's MINE.
This push and pull dance has been going on since he was small, since the world hurt far too much. He kept all rage inside until it festered and bubbled over. Only then did he begin lashing out. He never questioned why he became so willing for violence. Why he was so ok to hurt others after they hurt him. He never saw the signs because the switch was too fast to notice and by then he was too old to care.
What he’ll never say is that he was Dazai Osamu’s first puzzle. His first true non-abstract problem. Not a problem that has no true answer like the meaning of life no, his question was much simpler or at least it should have been.
If one were to use an example you could think of it as the Theseus ship paradox.
“If a ship that has had all of its pieces replaced one by one would remain the same ship”
If Chuuya Nakahara was experimented on since he was a child, forced to live on the street after a God was shoved into a too small vessel, finally looked in the mirror and couldn’t stand to look at himself as anything but a beast.
Was he still human?
Chuuya would say no. That he hasn’t been human since the first time he used corruption but that wouldn’t be the full truth really. The truth is he hasn’t been human since the moment Arahabaki made himself–itself known.
Since the first time Chuuya thought about hurting someone just so the sheep could have a bit more food, survive just a bit longer .
It stopped becoming about survival and became more about making them hurt like we hurt.
We aren’t evil, the world is! Our destruction is the correction that punishes us for a natural occurrence. Like the sun rising in the west. We will smile as we crush countless ants underfoot.
Ahem.
Continuing, Chuuya understands not being in control. It comes par with the course.
But he’s not the one not in control here, though the boss wants him to take advantage of the ADA’s current internal struggles. It's just not worth giving up on the sweet sweet ambrosia that is getting to hold shit over that shitty Dazai’s head.
So what? A little bit of herding an oversized house cat and he gets to make Dazai agonize over whatever he decided to use his favor on?? Sorry boss, the world is at stake here!
It wasn’t hard to do a bit of recon here and there; he wasn’t a Mafia Executive for nothing here. A little bit of nudging of his little mentee did the trick, he was rather forthcoming with those he trusted nowadays.
All it takes is a small offhand comment to get the ball rolling in a favorable manner. Just talking about Shin Soukoku’s last mission.
“Brat, what’s the deal with your recent mission report, you almost killed your target. I thought you had that stupid no killing thing with the weretiger?” His voice was as harsh as it always was when it came to work but that wasn’t his real focus not this time.
Akutagawa startles at being addressed slightly, he’s been off since his last mission. He straightens his posture before speaking up. “It is nothing of concern, Nakahara-sama. The mission was handled, of that I have made certain.”
The sigh that Chuuya let out was deep and suffering. “Kid, I’m your boss but I’m not your dad. What the hell is actually going on don’t fuck with me I’m not stupid.”
The younger man looks at him distractedly, “I understand this, Nakahara-sama but I assure you that the incident was handled. No one was injured further than necessary as I prevented it.”
Chuuya will admit he got a bit incensed with that comment and slams his hands down onto the table. “You? You prevented it?! Let’s not play stupid ass games here, there was almost a fresh corpse on your hands from what I’m reading here.” Shaking the report papers in his hands at the younger, “I’m seeing broken bones and what the fuck bite marks? The poor bastard is missing a chuck from his calf! What, you get hungry or something?”
Akutagawa’s face gives one of his more prominent tells that he’s finally getting angry, which means he might slip up. His eyebrow twitches before he lets out a forced calming exhale. “You know better than anyone that Rashomon is precise with her cuts. This was not my doing and I managed to keep the target alive despite my partner’s behavior.”
Chuuya, for all his credit, just lets out a harsh laugh. “You mean to tell me that the resident housecat did all that damage? Let’s be serious here, that kid would cry if you blamed him for taking the last sandwich.”
Akutagawa reverts back to short clipped but respectful answers. “While I agree with that notion, I am no one to lie in reports, Nakahara-sama.” His sentence was final and guarded. Ironic since Chuuya could see a bit of himself in him, that fierce protection of his partner that was ingrained into him.
Finally having enough, he lays it out plain and simple, “Akutagawa Ryunosuke. I am your direct boss, and I need full transparency here. I need to know that the fuck happened out there, whatever happens with you is my ass on the line. You are my subordinate; you have to let me know this crap. Tell me the truth, what happened kid?”
Refusing to meet his eyes Akutagawa only glances up for a moment, meeting fierce mismatched eyes before his eyes dart back down to his report. “While the mission started off smoothly there was an issue with the weretiger’s control. Nothing that I couldn’t handle. He was able to regain control with my insistence. With that the mission was complete. Simple and done with.”
Chuuya doesn’t even entertain that short idiotic appeasement with actual words, he just glares at the other before rolling his eyes. Very clearly agitated. Matching his energy Akutagawa, with a singular elegant, raised eyebrow as if there wasn’t a single thing out of sorts with what he said, just crosses his arms.
The main problem was that there was nothing wrong with his statement. Just enough information to make sense and not raise any suspicion. Almost as if he didn’t even truly know what occurred during the mission himself.
The final thought that goes through Chuuya’s mind is Boy you act just how I raised you.
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The void is agitated, the colors swirling like a demented Van Gogh painting. Something is coming, it doesn't like this very much.
The void is fine without outside intervention.
Go away.
Leave us to rot like you always have.
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