Chapter Text
Turns out that Atsushi only had to wait around for another nine days until he was ordered to accompany Dazai out on a mission, something about having to go retrieve some weaponry that a local gang had taken from one of the Port Mafia’s warehouses that was apparently destroyed in the process. From the little information that Dazai had given him over the phone, it was going to be the two of them along with thirty-armed, non-ability users that are going to storm their suspected hide out at dusk that afternoon.
But until then, Atsushi had nothing else to do but sit around and wait until Chuu got back home. Having promised the younger the day before that he’d take him out for a treat to make up for having to leave him home alone for the past few nights.
(He had tried to ask Dazai about looking after him once after finding out, but the latter had declined and said that he was too busy.)
Which was fine by him, he was eleven and a member of the Port Mafia now! He didn’t get scared just because he’s been left home alone in their apartment all night long. All by himself. Like he’s been abandoned all over again. In the pitch black, freakishly quiet darkness that just seemed to swallow up the place he’s called home for the last year.
That felt all too familiar to where the Headmaster used to lock him up.
Atsushi shivered just at the thought of being back in that stupid, shitty cage, of his home sharing any familiarities between it.
He refused to go back there. Ever. Again. Atsushi had tried so hard to put as much distance between them and to go somewhere that would be less obvious then just running straight into the nearby town, where they would have surely dragged him back kicking and screaming.
But what if Atsushi hadn’t been right about heading to Yokohama? He had been a younger and stupider back then. What if that was the most obvious option he could have picked from, and they were still out on the hunt for him?
Surely the mafia wouldn’t let him be taken away if they’ve already spent so much time and effort to train him. To get him to become a part of their organisation.
Surely Chuuya and Dazai wouldn’t allow it.
Would they? The little voice in the back of his mind whispered.
Things just seemed to get impossibly more tense ever since the three’s meeting with Mori last week, staying clear out of the other’s way as much as they could, arguing the second they’re put in the same room together… Atsushi was hoping that they would have made up by now to at least be back on speaking terms, but they hadn’t all eaten together in weeks.
Did they not like him anymore? Was that the reason why they were both arguing so much with each other now?
Maybe he is just bad luck? A burden.
What if they know – if Dazai knows, what if he’s known about it all along – and they’re just waiting for when the Headmaster arrived in town to come take him away back to the orphanage? Straight back to that living hell.
Atsushi didn’t know if he could survive if he ever went back a second time, he’d rather risk his life and fight the bad people like he’s supposed to.
He wasn’t scared.
He didn’t get scared by blood or stupid dark rooms when no one was home.
He was a part of the Port Mafia now. Mr Mori said that he was more than ready to be spent out onto the field like everyone else. Because he’s not a little baby anymore, he’s not going to cry about stupid stuff. He can’t.
Not after Dazai had used his emotions to hurt Chuu’s feelings.
He wasn’t scared and yet the idea of having to go back with the Headmaster, of Chuu and Dazai betraying him like that…
No, he tried to tell himself, combat the mean little voice in his head, if he were to go back to the orphanage Chuu and Dazai would have no part in it, they couldn’t.
He wasn’t scared.
But as he buried his head into his arms and knees with his white bear clenched tightly in his grasp, he couldn’t convince himself otherwise.
•~☆~•
Chuuya yawned as he made his way through the familiar bright hallways after yet another long night of recon with nothing to show for it. No secret meetings, trades, talks of betraying them, nada. It was a waste of time that he could have been using to be back in his comfy bed asleep and watching out for the kid.
But if Mori’s convinced that there’s some funny business going down, then there more likely than not is. Besides even if there wasn’t, who was he to go against the boss’ orders? And it’s not like he’s got to deal with shitty Dazai at the moment either, who was once again in another one of his moods… as usual.
Though that doesn’t give the damn bastard any excuses to be taking it out on Atsushi. Training or not he doesn’t have to be so psycho about it, the kids just a kid and he’s got enough issues as it is. Though Chuuya has yet to figure out why.
“I think you’ve just gotten attached ‘Chuu’.”
So what if he’s taken a liking to the kid? How couldn’t he when the kid has acted like a feral cat – tiger? – most days ever since Chuuya said that he’d take care of him under his roof. Any kind of contact during the early months would have the kid shut down and scatter away and the number of times he’d given the older a heart attack by eating his food too fast and choking has taken at least ten years off his life. Though he had slowly began to trust him and Dazai enough to touch him and not run off, had even given his fair share of contact. But yet… on some rare occasions, the kid’s passed out and snuggled against him without so much as blinking an eye.
The weight on top of Chuuya was a foreign feeling that he doesn’t think he’s experienced since he was helping look after the young children before joining the mafia. But at the same time… it felt new to him all the same. The same frightened, little boy that he’d been trying so hard to take care of for the past month was curled up in his arms, hands holding onto his shirt tight to where the tear stains had started to dry, and new bear discarded to the side. With only the slow raise and fall of his back and soft snores giving any indication that this timid child hadn’t died since Dazai had handed him back to him or since he’d handed him back after coming back home.
“We went through all that trouble to get him that bear yet look at him. I think you chose the wrong one. You sure there wasn’t a miniature Chuuya there for him?” Dazai snickered from his position across the couch.
“Ha. Ha.” He mocked, “Trust me, if someone were to tell me even a day ago that the kid would pull something like this, I’d have thought they were pulling my leg.”
“Really? And here I thought that you were just too embarrassed to admit that Atsushi adores you.”
“Shut it.” Chuuya half-heartedly growled, “You’re one to talk, you insisted on carrying him all the way back here after I asked you to hold him, for just a few minutes, while I went and got him something.”
The other teen just shrugged in response as Atsushi buried his face into Chuuya’s collarbone. “Don’t know what you’re talking about.”
Damn Dazai…
He could almost feel the phantom weight against him as the memory resurfaced and he made his way to unlock the door. It was about nine o’clock now, meaning that Atsushi would have likely woken up an hour or so ago and had hopeful gotten himself some breakfast from the fridge.
Slowly, he opened the door in case Atsushi had heard it unlocking and had decided to stand next to it again. But as he made sure its swinging path was clear, there was no sign of the now familiar silver hair and its black strip. Not terribly unusual sure, but ever since Chuuya’s been gone throughout the night, Atsushi had always been anxiously waiting by the door to greet him.
So shoot him if he was a little worried.
“Atsushi? You awake?” he called out, making his way to the small kitchen they shared to put down his keys.
But there was no reply nor the usual sound of cartoons playing in the background. The kid could have stayed up late or had trouble sleeping again… so maybe he was still asleep? Chuuya took off his hat and let it sit beside the discarded keys and snuck over to Atsushi’s open door, trying to get a glimpse to see if his kid was still curled up under the covers.
Alas, the sight that met him was a messily made futon sitting in the corner of the room with the usual night light beside it but no child sized lump underneath it.
Shit.
Had Dazai come to get him through the night when he was gone, or had Atsushi run off to the other?
There were no obvious signs of a break in or a struggle, besides the semi-usual messy bed, everything was how he had left it last night after making sure Atsushi was in bed.
“Atsushi! Come on where did you run off to?” he hollered, walking back out to the main area, maybe with longer strides than what was considered ‘normal’, and moved over to the lounge room “Are you here somewhere? Atsushi?”
Just as he was about to pull out his phone and call that stupid Mackerel, he saw a flash of silver shift near the arm of the couch beside him, curled up and staring blankly at the floor. Thank the stars, he thought as he stared down at the younger for a few seconds before rushing to kneel in front of him.
“Little Tiger, there you are. You had me worried, why didn’t you answer me?”
No answer.
“Atsushi?” he whispered, trying to see if there was anything physically wrong with him but he couldn’t see any signs of blood. “Hey… you doing okay there kid?”
Again, he didn’t receive any reply back.
Ah…
Maybe he should have called Dazai, just in case he was going to go full tiger mode again?
No… that’d take too long and with how Dazai’s ability seems to have side effects on their young weretiger, it might just make the poor kid feel worse. He could handle this; he hasn’t spent all this time taking care of him just so he could abandon the kid when he needed him.
“Don’t worry Atsushi, you’re okay, I’m just going to take your hand okay?” slowly he reached out to him and lightly tapped the pale hand, only for it to flinch back at the contact, “It’s okay, you’re okay.”
Okay, not his hand, that’s okay he’d just try something else.
Instead, Chuuya carefully raised his hand to settle on the fluffy mess of bed hair and watched for any indication of discomfort – or please just some kind of reaction – as gloved hands reached scalp.
“I’m not going to hurt you okay? It’s just me uh- Chuuya… I came back home. I’m sorry for leaving you alone for so long.” He soothed and gently ruffled the silver mop.
After a few more excruciatingly long minutes of sitting there in silence, Chuuya cupping the boy’s head, Atsushi leaned into the contact and whined.
“Well done Little Tiger, you’re okay now, you’re okay…” he sighed out in relief as Atsushi looked at him with half lidded eyes.
“Chuu…?” Atsushi’s voice seemed to be the only thing that filled Chuuya’s ears as quiet as it was.
He hummed in acknowledgement but only silence met him again.
“What is it Atsushi?” he tried to encourage.
After some time, Atsushi’s words came out slow and slightly slurred, “…Is he here? I don’t wanna go with ‘em again… Ever.”
Is who here? Chuuya wondered as he watched Atsushi do his best at what the older could only assume as trying to survey the room. Had someone made their way in here before he got here and spooked Atsushi?
If that was the case and they got a reaction like that out of Atsushi… then should he really be cleared to go wonder about on missions?
“It’s just us two here Atsushi, no one else is around. Was someone here earlier? Was Dazai here?” but Atsushi just shook his head in response and uncurled from his spot, rubbing his red eyes.
The mafia executive wasn’t sure what question he was answering ‘no’ to but that’s fine with him, there were no signs that there was someone else in the apartment with them currently and he didn’t want to overload the kid with any more questions. He’ll just check his security cameras later, he just had to focus on getting Atsushi feeling better right now.
“Okay, well I did promise you a treat when I got back last night, remember? Though I don’t think we’ll be going out anytime soon… so how about some hot drinks until you feel better yeah?” Chuuya questioned as he stood back up, taking his hand off Atsushi’s head, “With a sweet treat on the side-”
“NO!” Atsushi demanded and shot up onto wobbly, uneasy legs.
Chuuya just stared at him, confused, that’d have to probably be the first time that Atsushi had shouted at him like that, or at all really. Atsushi, on the other hand, seemed to register what he just did and froze, risking a glance at the older with tears forming in his purple-gold eyes.
Geez… this kid’s going to be the death of him one day.
“No it’s okay… there’s no need to cry Little Tiger.” He reached out and tried to wipe away the few tears that were running down his cheek. “I know my cooking can be pretty shit sometimes huh?” he light-heartedly joked, but Atsushi just shook his head.
“M sorry Chuu, I-I didn’t mean to… I like your cooking, promise!”
He was a terrible liar that’s for sure, but if that wasn’t the problem then he was at a loss of what was. “Atsushi-”
“I-I just…” the kid trailed off again and started to fiddle with his bear, “I um-…”
“We can still go to the restaurant later when you’re feeling up to it okay Atsushi? I just don’t wanna overload ‘ya with everything going on downstairs, you know, with all the people and noise.” he tried to reason, thinking back on what could have set the tiger cub off like that.
He was going to just duct over to the kitchen and make them up some snacks, so he’d given Atsushi once last ruffle before going to leave. Was that what had set him off? The loss of contact? Chuuya did a double take at the younger before him, who was still attempting to swipe away the tears streaming down from his round cheeks, hiccupping every once in a while.
This damn kid… he’s going to be the cause of Chuuya developing wrinkles by the time he’s twenty for sure.
He’s lucky he’s so adorable…
“Geez kid… you could have just said so.” He sighed, causing the other to stare up at him, “Come here.”
Obediently, Atsushi put his bear down and shuffled closer to him, confusion clear in his furrowed brow, enough for Chuuya to lift him up from under his arms and pull him close enough for Atsushi to lay against his chest. If his kid continues to get any bigger, he might just have to use gravity manipulation to carry him. If it’s what he wants and Chuuya just isn’t looking into it too much.
But for his sweet, little tiger cub, he’d do it again in a second.
“There… is that better now?” he soothed as he tried to take a glimpse at Atsushi’s face hidden into his collarbone, “If you want me to put you down just say so okay?”
He did seem a little tense, so maybe he should put him back down-
But despite his own thoughts, Atsushi just wrapped his lanky limbs around him and clung tightly to his jacket, melting into the contact immediately.
“No. I wanna stay with Chuu… please?” he almost begged with the familiar nickname and Chuuya just rubbed soothing circles into his back. “…Just for a bit longer please?”
“Yeah… stay as long as you want Little Tiger, no one’s making you leave. Are you still up for some snacks? You can come with me, and we can make them together if you want?”
“Mhm…”
“Alright, lets go make them together.”
Over the next hour, Chuuya worked to make them both some tea and pulled out some of the left over mochi that they had got from the store a few days before, all with an Atsushi curled up into his chest, who turned to watch what he was doing every now and then. It took a lot longer than it normally would, but that was fine by him, if it meant that his kid could happily cling to him. Once they were finished, they were both decided to sit down and enjoy their treats in front of some of Atsushi’s favourite cartoons, who he was able to convince to turn around enough for him to be able to eat and drink as he pleased, without the risk of choking.
But yet it took all Chuuya’s willpower to not flood the poor boy in cuddles and head kisses when he kept throwing uncertain glances back at the older, asking him occasionally if Chuuya was sure Atsushi could stay curled up in his arms longer, that he could leave and that was feeling better now so he didn’t have any reason to need to be coddled, but Chuuya powered through so he didn’t make him uncomfortable or scare him off.
But if he held the tiger club that bit closer and snuck in a few kisses into the kid’s growing hair, then no one was there to say anything or tease him about it. If anything…
It just seemed to make his boy smile that bit wider.