Chapter Text
Several Weeks Later
Inej breathed in deeply, relishing the fresh scent of salt on the air as the sea breeze stroked her skin. It had been far, far too long since she’d been at sea, with the well-worn wood of the Wraith beneath her hand.
There had been no question of Inej’s homecoming taking place on anything other than her beloved ship. Kaz had arranged everything, of course, knowing exactly where the Wraith was likely to make landfall next, and a few weeks after recovering her memory, Inej, Matty, and all of the crows made their way to Shriftport where the nimble warship awaited them.
Specht — Acting Captain Specht, to be precise — had immediately pulled Inej into a bearhug of an embrace, holding her like a father a lost daughter, for several long minutes. It wasn’t just Inej whose eyes were wet when they eventually pulled apart again, although Specht gave a bracing cough and gave a smart salute to hide his emotion. ‘Good to have you back, Captain,’ he announced gruffly.
Being surrounded by her crew again, reunited with her crows, and with Kaz at her side, Inej kept wondering how she’d managed to survive nearly six years of forgetting.
Matty had saved her, of course. Inej had been unable to dwell too much on her lost past and her struggle to survive when she was immediately busy preparing for his arrival, the physical and mental ordeal of the birth itself, and then the all-encompassing role as a mother to a newborn babe. Matty had become her sun, her shining star, the very centre of her life and her heart. She revolved around him, turned her life to serve his, and gladly, lovingly so.
Still, Inej reflected as she glanced up to the bow, where Kaz and Matty were; if Matty was her sun, then surely Kaz was her moon: her unpredictable, yet ever-present moon. Not always visible, not as blazing bright, but always there, steadfast and reliable, working hard and attuned to her every move, even when she hadn’t remembered his name.
Matty was perched up on the ship’s railings, little legs swinging over the edge, while Kaz stood behind him, strong arms holding him safely in place, as he spoke to his son and nodded towards the sea. As Inej watched Matty pointing out a distant dolphin, grey body leaping from the waves, she saw Kaz close his eyes and breathe the scent of Matty in, his nose close to his son’s dark, messy hair.
Inej felt her heart flood with warmth, with peace. She wondered, not for the first time, how she had earned the fierce, obstinate love of this dangerous, complicated man. As if sensing her gaze — and hadn’t he always been able to sense her presence, after that first time? — Kaz looked up at her. A soft, gentle smile touched his lips, and Inej wanted to kiss that smile, kiss it right off his face and turn it into something different, something wanting and desperate and hers, alone.
Looking around, she could see Nina chatting animatedly to one of Inej’s crew, a tall, strong, young Shu woman called Gerel, who’d been but a scared teenager when she and Inej had sailed together that last, fateful time.
Nobody had been surprised when Inej remembered who had done this terrible thing to her: the Wraith had been ambushed by slaver ships, the bloody, living legend of the ship and the captain who freed captives and left no-one alive in her wake bringing about an alliance of rival slavers no-one could have imagined before. Kaz likened it to the Dregs partnering up with the Dime Lions, or perhaps even with the Merchant Council itself (although Inej had noticed Wylan and Jesper’s shared grins of delight at that idea). Funded by a Ketterdam mercher — who had long since died, ironically and unrelatedly by Kaz’s own hand — and a minor Kaelish royal — whose death Inej and Kaz had already planned, in graphic and gruesome detail, for next year — the group of slavers had attacked the Wraith with a single intent: capture Captain Ghafa, force their captive Grisha Healer to remove her memories, and throw her overboard somewhere close enough that she would be likely to make the shore and find help.
It was a twisted, cruel plan, dreamed up not just to disarm the Wraith and humiliate and punish Inej, but also to take the Bastard of the Barrel down a peg or two.
When the Grisha Healer had realised Inej was pregnant — and Inej, also finding out the news for the first time, had to work so hard to keep the emotionless mask on her face intact, calling on all she had ever learned from Kaz to cope — the slavers had been utterly delighted by their extra fortune. Inej had managed not to break down until they’d ripped the cord with her wedding ring strung upon it from her neck and thrown it into the sea.
She knew what would follow, if the Grisha’s powers worked. She would forget about the child, forget about Kaz, forget that she was even married, and there would be nothing left — no clue, no sliver of information as to where she belonged, and who she belonged with.
For the first time in her life, Inej had regretted never taking the crow-and-cup tattoo. The Dregs tattoo might not have been immediately recognised in Novyi Zem, but it would have been enough: something to go on. It would have got her to Kerch; to Ketterdam. That would have been more than enough, for Kaz to find her. But there had been no clue left behind, all because she’d refused to be marked again. Would it have been so bad, back then, to take a tattoo that linked her to Kaz?
Inej shook her head, trying to clear the guilty thoughts from her head. She started to walk towards Nina, who caught her eye and raised a questioning eyebrow. It had been so wonderfully lovely to have her best friend back in her memories and her life, and Inej had been delighted when Nina had announced she’d cleared a full month from duties in Fjerda to be with Inej and help her settle back into Ketterdam. Now, Inej nodded towards her husband and son. ‘Would you mind looking after Matty for a little while?’ she asked.
Nina gave Inej a knowing arch of her eyebrow in response, and Inej could feel her cheeks heat up, betraying her intentions. Matty had been understandably wrong-footed by the last few weeks’ occurrences, and had insisted on sleeping wrapped in Inej’s arms every night, relegating Kaz to the hammock strung in the corner of the captain’s cabin. They’d barely managed any time alone together since Nina had arrived in Pelton with the key to unlocking Inej’s memories in tow.
Luckily, Nina was a gracious friend — or at least, Inej’s blush had been reward enough for her — and she laughed and nodded and followed Inej towards the bow.
The two women had spent hours on Inej’s soft sofa, with plenty of biscuits and endless cups of tea, as they’d reminisced and cried and caught up and cried some more over Matty’s name and the memory of Matthias. Inej had never cried so much in her life, but she felt good afterwards: cleansed, lightened, safe in the familiar embrace of her best friend.
Nina reached her hand out for Matty as they approached him and Kaz, and he squirmed against his father until Kaz set him on his unsteady feet on the deck, before stomping determinedly towards his favourite new auntie.
Kaz lifted his arm so Inej could cuddle up against him, both of them smiling fondly as Nina and Matty strolled off hand in hand. Inej reached up to Kaz, kissing his sharp jawline before whispering ‘come with me.’
Ever obedient — when it came to Inej, at least — Kaz let her take his hand and followed her as she led them to her cabin.
‘Is everything okay?’ Kaz asked, his brow furrowing slightly, once they were inside. Inej locked her cabin door, turning to him with a wicked smile. She bit her lower lip as Kaz’s eyes darkened and turned molten with understanding, lifting her hands to grasp hold of his shirt collar — he was dressed unusually casual, with his top button undone, no tie or waistcoat in sight — and reaching up to nuzzle beneath his jaw as he stepped towards her.
‘We have six years to catch up on, my love,’ she murmured softly against his neck, before tilting her head slightly and kissing him there. ‘And I don’t see why we should wait until we’re back in Ketterdam to start paying our debts.’
Kaz groaned good-naturedly, opening his arms so she could step into his embrace and nuzzle against his chest. ‘You sound so Kerch right now,’ he teased her, reaching up a hand to curl her braid gently around his fist. ‘You know I can’t resist you when you talk like that.’
Inej couldn’t help her laugh, and Kaz looked delighted — and ever-so-slightly smug — at making her laugh. ‘You can never resist me, Rietveld,’ she replied with a grin, and at her words Kaz’s eyes softened and he smiled back, genuinely, happy, his face open and without guile.
‘You’re right, Inej,’ he said quietly, stroking her braid with his thumb, holding her waist with his other hand and pulling her closer. ‘Nothing has changed at all. I cannot resist you.’
She couldn’t speak, she realised, without crying, just then. Instead she stood on her tiptoes, pulled Kaz’s mouth down to hers, put all the words she couldn’t say into a kiss instead. From Kaz’s tender response, she knew he understood.
They undressed each other quickly, efficiently. Danced around each other with a well-practised ease, stealing kisses as they did, as they’d always done. In no time they were entwined on the narrow bed, lips swollen and skin sweaty and hearts beating hard together. Eventually Inej couldn’t wait any longer, and she pushed Kaz’s shoulders down so he was laid back on the tumbled bedclothes.
With a single, pointed look from Inej, Kaz raised his hands so they were on the pillow above his head, wrists relaxed and unthreatening. Inej smiled and cradled his jaw in her hand, sighing happily as he tilted his head and kissed her palm. ‘Ready?’ she asked, quietly, and Kaz nodded, eyes still locked on hers. Inej lowered down on still-strong thighs, pushing back and biting her lip as she slowly opened herself on Kaz’s cock.
It felt… good, more than good — empowering, connecting, grounding, to have Kaz between her thighs like this again. She gave a deliberate thrust of her hips, watched in delight as Kaz’s eyes fell closed and his brow furrowed and he had to bite his lower lip to stop from crying out. She let a wicked smile curl on her lips. Definitely a lot more than good, having Dirtyhands naked and powerless before her. ‘You feel incredible, sweetheart,’ she whispered, and Kaz’s eyes flew open again, his hands curling to fists against the pillow.
‘Ghezen, Inej,’ he muttered, groaning as she rolled her hips again. ‘You have no idea… you are amazing, so amazing, I’ve missed you — missed this, saints, you wicked woman,’ he added, voice breaking, as she moved against him again. ‘I love you, Inej.’
Saints. She’d gone so long without hearing those words, without saying those words back — she wanted to drown in them, in his rasping voice, to hear those words from him so many times she’d never be able to forget him, ever again.
‘I love you too, Kaz,’ she whispered, and she reached down to take hold of his wrist, guiding his hand to her breast. She needed to feel his touch, the warmth of his skin against hers. She needed him to remember her, too: after all, he’d always been the one to really see her. ‘Touch me, sweetheart.’
Kaz pushed himself up, leaning back on his other hand, and the flex of his hips as he moved pushed him further into Inej. She grabbed his shoulders and tightened her legs around his hips as she groaned with pleasure, and Kaz cupped her breast in his hand, gently stroking his thumb over her nipple.
‘Inej,’ he breathed reverently, leaning forward to kiss above her breast, just where her heart beat furiously beneath. ‘My love.’
Kaz. She was so close to the edge, so close to falling, she could barely breathe, let alone speak. But she had to speak, she knew, had to get the words out before she could let go, this time.
‘I’ll never…’ She gasped as Kaz lowered his head and licked her nipple, sending an electric thrill of desire through her veins. ‘I’ll never forget you again, Kaz,’ she promised, everything in her singing for him, their reunion, being back in his arms and having him back in her heart. She could never — would never — forget him, ever again.
‘You never did, Inej,’ Kaz whispered, holding her closer, nuzzling against her ear as she arched her neck and ground herself against him, her movements hard, erratic, now. ‘Not really. You kept me with you; you’re here now.’
‘Will you forgive me?’
Kaz pulled back and looked at her, then, eyes black with desire, hair pushed back and untidy, hand grasping her waist. His gaze was serious; intense. ‘There is nothing to forgive, Inej.’
Kaz’s absolution was like a skilled lock pick to her guilt, opening her up and releasing all the tension she had carried since her memories — both good and bad — had come flooding back to her. She came hard with a helpless cry, limbs collapsing as her orgasm flooded through her tired body. For a brief moment she worried about overwhelming Kaz with a sudden deadweight and full-body contact, but he had her: of course, he had her, safe and secure in his arms. He’d already brought his arms up to catch her, and cradled her and rolled them both over so she was on her back beneath him. He carefully held his body up over hers, but leaned down to press a long, sweet kiss to the side of her neck — the same place as their very first kiss, all those years before at the Geldrenner — as he desperately thrust into her. Inej reached up to run her hands through his hair, smiling as he pushed up eagerly against her touch, enjoying the feeling of floating back down to earth as Kaz groaned her name and pulled himself free. A split second later, she felt the hot splash of his release against her upper thigh. He rolled to the side, and before Inej could take a breath he was there with a clean handkerchief, gently wiping away the mess from her skin before leaning down to kiss her thigh.
‘C’mere,’ Inej murmured, happiness warming her insides, reaching out a lazy hand towards Kaz. He tossed the crumpled handkerchief to the floor and let her draw him in, curling into her side, his nose nuzzling into the crook of her neck. ‘Just five minutes,’ she added sleepily, as they settled comfortably into each other’s arms. ‘Five minutes, then we’ll go back to deck.’
Inej was asleep before Kaz hummed languidly in response.
‘Land ho!’
Specht’s rousing call woke them from the syrupy sleepiness that had enveloped them both, legs and arms still entwined. Inej became aware of Kaz’s presence first, the familiar scent of his soap, the softness of his hands on her skin. She sighed contentedly and made to snuggle closer to his chest, when the words that had pulled her to consciousness finally registered. Her eyes flew open, instinctively looking towards the still-closed cabin door.
‘Ketterdam,’ she breathed, her heart aching with heavy, bittersweet memories. She met Kaz’s gaze, and he smiled softly and reached up to brush a loose strand of hair back behind her ear.
He spoke just three, simple words, then, into the space between their lips, where they shared each other’s breath once again:
‘Let’s go home.’