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Nobody Likes You When You're 23

Summary:

Who remembers the birthday of the guy in charge of remembering all the birthdays?

Still, a cheerful text from Prompto or a quick back-slapping hug from Gladio or a mumbled anything from Noctis would have, at the very least, put a smile on Ignis’ face and made the rest of the day a little more bearable. He only had himself to blame that he hadn’t told anyone what February 7th was, though, and so he tried to look forward to going home to his quiet apartment and sitting down with a nice dinner and a couple glasses of wine.

Notes:

Happy birthday Iggy you gigantic nerd

Is this pre-trip? Is this a happy post-trip AU? Is this a no-trip AU? Who knows!

(See the end of the work for more notes.)

Work Text:

Ignis’ birthday passed like any other Tuesday: in a mad rush of meetings and paperwork and making sure that a certain lazy prince did what he was supposed to be doing.

It didn’t exactly bother him that no one acknowledged his birthday: he didn’t really care to celebrate it, and he was fairly certain that half the people around him didn’t know when his birthday was while the other half thought he was some sort of robot.

Still, a cheerful text from Prompto or a quick back-slapping hug from Gladio or a mumbled anything from Noctis would have, at the very least, put a smile on Ignis’ face and made the rest of the day a little more bearable. He only had himself to blame that he hadn’t told anyone what February 7th was, though, and so he tried to look forward to going home to his quiet apartment and sitting down with a nice dinner and a couple glasses of wine.

It wasn't like this year was different than any other. If it didn't hurt last year, or the year before, or any year before that, what right did he have to suddenly get upset about it now ? But they’d gone all out celebrating Noctis’ and Prompto’s and Gladio’s birthdays, and Ignis thought that he might like to feel even a fraction of the affection they got on their respective birthdays.

Thankfully there was little time to mope when there was so much work to be done, and Ignis had barely seen any of his friends all day anyway.

Of course, the moment he thought that, Prompto appeared from a door into the hallway that Ignis was rushing down.

“Oh, hey, Iggy!” Prompto called, and Ignis came to a halt, trying not to impatiently shift the pile of documents he needed to get to King Regis’ advisors.

“Good afternoon, Prompto. How are you?”

“Never better!” Prompto grinned, and he bounced back and forth on his toes. “Hey, I’ve been looking for you all day.”

“Oh?” Ignis asked.

“Yeah, do you know where Noct is? His phone’s dead.”

Swallowing down the little flash of disappointment that he felt as he realised that no, Prompto didn’t have anything to say about what day it was, Ignis forced a small smile. “He has a meeting until three, and training with Gladio from three-thirty. If you go to the east side then, you should catch him, but don’t hold him up for too long or Gladio will have your head. I’m sorry, Prompto, but I really need to deliver these.”

Lifting the pile of papers, Ignis made a quick escape. If he kept busy, he didn’t have time to think, and getting swift approval to renew the contract for the Citadel’s cleaners was...vitally...important…

Biting his lip, Ignis straightened his shoulders. Busy was good, and he had some very nice meat in his fridge, and he was okay . Maybe he would ask if Gladio wanted to go out on the weekend. It would do.

The next few hours passed as if time had been slowed down, and the tension in Ignis’ shoulders grew up his neck and developed into a pounding headache. He still performed his duties immaculately, of course, but his expressions were brittle and his voice was maybe verging on blunt.

When he heard Gladio calling his name at the door of Ignis’ office, he cringed and immediately felt terrible about it. Gladio was always good to him, whether or not he remembered- or even knew- when Ignis’ birthday was.

“Hello, Gladio,” Ignis said as he turned around, putting down the tablet he’d been using to sort out Noctis’ schedule for the next month. He’d usually only plan it out a fortnight in advance, but busy was good. “What can I do for you?”

“Yeah, just wondering if you know where I can get that really good wine we had at that restaurant down on the south side of the city. Figured I'd pick up a bottle for my dad, can't show up to dinner empty handed.”

The sting of disappointment was familiar, but it still hurt just as much as it had earlier. Picking up his tablet, Ignis focused on the screen so that he didn't have to look at Gladio. “The merlot? I believe they sell it at the dealer beside the First Insomnia Bank.”

It was the same wine that Ignis had ready to be opened at his apartment. Gladio didn't need to know that.

“Thanks, Iggy. Hit me up if you feel like sparring for a bit, yeah?”

“Mmm,” Ignis hummed non-committally, not looking up from his tablet. He could hear Gladio's retreating footsteps, and once he was sure that no one was around, Ignis shoved his glasses to the top of his head and pressed the heels of his hands into his eyes.

Taking a few deep breaths, Ignis let himself feel for a few seconds before dragging it all back under control, righting his glasses and straightening his collar. All he had to do was wait until Noct was ready to be taken home, and then the awful day would be over.

Ignis didn't get much work done until his phone buzzed on his desk, vibrating against the immaculate wood.

At arcade with prom, Noctis’ text read. We'll walk back to mine from there.

Ignis’ eye twitched as he finished the message. He'd been waiting for Noctis to finish up for over an hour now, and he'd already left without so much as a prompt warning?

Ignis’ chair screeched as he shoved it back and stood up, the horrid noise forcing him to find his control again before he did something stupid.

Okay, Ignis typed back as he collected his bag, I will be going home then. Call Gladio or the Crownsguard if you have any problems. Enjoy your night.

A few people bid Ignis farewell as he left the Citadel, but he only briefly acknowledged them. He barely even remembered the drive home, a bone-deep exhaustion settling in as he turned up the radio to try and drown out his thoughts. It didn't work.

His apartment was cold, dark and quiet, and Ignis sighed heavily once the door was closed and he could unbutton the top of his shirt. Leaning back against the door, he idly wondered if he should get some sort of pet. At least a cat might look forward to seeing him.

Frowning, Ignis chastised himself for his thoughts. His friends loved him, but he was the one who reminded the others of dates and plans. His friends had important jobs, and couldn't be expected to remember everything.

Still, he felt sore and vulnerable, and so he poured himself a glass of wine before beginning to pull ingredients from the fridge.

The merlot was beautiful, and he was sure that Clarus would enjoy it.

He'd barely taken a few sips when his phone began to ring insistently from inside his bag. It was the tone he had set specifically for Noctis, and so Ignis reluctantly put his glass down before fetching the device.

“Yes, Noctis? Do you need something?”

“Can you come over?”

Looking at the ingredients scattered over his benchtop, Ignis took a deep breath to force back his sudden flare of anger. Noctis wouldn't summon him without a proper reason, even if all Ignis wanted to do was curl up on his couch with a book, some good food and his wine.

“Of course. Do I need to bring anything?” He hoped his teeth didn't sound as clenched as they actually were.

“No, we're good. Just bring yourself.”

We? Ignis thought, but he didn't let himself dwell on it, ending the call and tossing his phone onto the counter. It clattered noisily, and Ignis felt the tiniest bit of satisfaction as he shoved the ingredients back where they belonged. His glass of wine probably couldn't be saved, but he didn’t want to finish it and then drive; he let himself take one more mouthful and then placed the glass beside the sink.

This time he turned the radio off completely as he drove, the short trip to Noctis’ apartment passing in unbroken silence. As he approached Noctis’ door, he heard raucous laughter and froze.

That sounded like Gladio.

Had they all met up and only thought to invite him as an afterthought?

Feeling a little choked, Iggy forced a neutral face before knocking on the door. It was more for warning than anything else, and he only paused for a moment before unlocking the door and letting himself in.

He could hear scuffling as he opened the door, and he'd barely stepped foot inside when a weight collided with his chest and sent him staggering backwards.

Iggy!” Prompto wailed from the direction of Ignis’ chest, wrapping his arms and his legs around Ignis and forcing him to support Prompto's weight. “Happy birthday and I'm sorry I couldn't say anything earlier! They said I'd blurt out the surprise if anyone mentioned your birthday to you!”

Ignis went blank for a few moments, looking from Prompto to Gladio and Noctis and then back again.

“I...thank you, Prompto,” Ignis said, his voice thick. “Thank you.”

“When we were celebrating Prompto's birthday, we realised it'd been over a year and yet none of us could remember you having a birthday,” Gladio said, leaning against the wall with his arms crossed. “And Noct’s just shit with dates.”

“He has better things to be remembering than my birthday,” Ignis said quietly, feeling Prompto snuggle his face against his neck and smiling softly but affectionately. “It's not important.”

“It is to us,” Noctis said. “I'm sorry.”

“No need to worry,” Ignis said, and he meant it. Lowering Prompto back to the ground, Ignis stepped into the apartment and closed the door behind them.

“Still,” Gladio said, “we figured we should make it up to you, so we've got a few things for you.”

Pushing away from the wall, Gladio gestured for Ignis to follow him, and Ignis gasped as he saw the spread of food across the dining table. Nearly every single dish was among his favourites, and Ignis gratefully accepted the plate that Noctis passed him.

“It'll go cold if we don't eat soon,” Noctis pointed out. “Age before beauty.”

“Funny,” Ignis said dryly, but he eagerly sat down and eyed the food. He paused halfway through appraising a dish of anak cutlets. “Not that I don't trust you all, but...who made this?”

“I asked dad's chef to,” Noctis laughed. “Don't worry, Gladio hasn't touched it.”

“Like you're any better,” Gladio shot back, appearing with a familiar-looking bottle of merlot and a few wine glasses. Placing one on the table in front of Ignis, Gladio poured with the flair of a fine dining waiter.

“There's a case of this stuff on the bench for you to take with you, I know how much you liked it. Happy birthday, Iggy.”

Opening his mouth to express his gratitude, Ignis didn't make it any further than that before Gladio was suddenly kissing him. It was over before Ignis could react, and his blood roared in his ears as Gladio casually wandered off and sat down.

“What? No fair, I didn't know we were doing presents already,” Prompto whined, and he dashed into the next room before returning with a bag. “Sorry it's not wrapped, I couldn't get it right. Happy birthday!”

This time, Ignis made it as far as ‘tha’ before Prompto squared his shoulders and kissed him, using a bit too much pressure but Ignis wouldn't change it for the world. He managed to get a hand up to cup Prompto's face before he pulled away, and Prompto grinned at him as he bounced off to take his own seat. His hands shaking a little, Ignis opened the bag and pulled out a gorgeous photo album.

“Prompto, are these-” He trailed off, looking at page after page of beautifully composed photos of Insomnia and her people.

“Yeah,” Prompto said shyly. “Sorry that they're not very good, but I don't have a lot of money for gifts…”

“They're beautiful, Prompto,” Ignis said, staring at a picture of the sun setting behind the Citadel. “I'll treasure this.”

Prompto blushed and ducked his head, grinning so widely that Ignis thought it must have hurt. Turning around to set the album away from the food, Ignis turned back to find Noctis standing beside him.

“Here,” Noctis said, holding out a tissue paper-wrapped gift. “Happy birthday, Iggy.”

Barely managing not to tip his face up in anticipation, Ignis didn't bother trying to say anything this time, and he was rewarded with another tentative kiss. He wasn't quite sure where all of this had come from, but he was an adaptable man and he could ask about it after dinner; he hadn't eaten all day, and the paella looked divine .

Neatly taking the paper apart once Noctis had retreated, Ignis reverently held up the book that Noctis had given him, which he recognised as a first edition of an old Lucian classic to which Ignis was quite partial.

“If you were anyone else, I would ask which museum you robbed to find this,” Ignis said, gently running a finger down the spine.

“I asked dad if it was okay before I took it,” Noctis mumbled, and Ignis laughed.

“I am glad to hear that I won't be visited by the authorities,” he said, placing the book beside the album that Prompto had given him. “I love it. I love all of these, thank you so much.”

Afraid that he was going to cry, Ignis looked down and cleared his throat. “Shall we eat, then?”

“I'm starving,” Gladio announced, and there was a flurry of movement as all four of them began digging in and passing plates around. The king’s private chef was far more skilled than a royal advisor who had learnt to cook out of necessity, and Ignis savoured every bite.

All of the plates were wiped clean by the time they finished, and with a full belly and a glass or two of liquid courage, Ignis felt ready to broach the subject of what had happened earlier.

When Prompto jumped out of his seat to begin clearing the dishes, Ignis simply cleared his throat and raised an eyebrow, and Prompto was back in his seat before he even knew what had happened.

“We need to talk about this,” Ignis said like the straightforward, logical man he liked to be. “Who wants to explain?”

The other three looked at each other, the silence stretching on before Gladio rolled his eyes. “You remember that night we got super drunk at your apartment?”

“...Not...entirely,” Ignis admitted reluctantly. One of the few places where he felt comfortable getting truly drunk was his own apartment, and he may have gone a little overboard that night.

“Not surprising,” Gladio snorted, grinning. “But anyway, you started going on about how you felt like a bad person for wanting to fuck all three of us.”

Ignis stared in horror. “I did not.”

“Yeahhhh, you did,” Noctis said, sounding like he was taking a little too much pleasure in Ignis’ embarrassment.

“I don't remember either,” Prompto said, “but I want to believe them.”

It was true, but Ignis had considered that his best-kept secret. To know that they were all aware...it made shame burn in the pit of his stomach.

“But anyway,” Gladio continued, “Noct's been in love with you since he was old enough to realise what he was doing, and I'm pretty sure that Prom’s just always been in awe of you.”

Looking at the two in question, Noctis just stared at him while Prompto ducked his head and rubbed at his hair.

“Well, Gladio nearly creamed himself the first time you put him on the ground during a fight,” Noctis said without inflection, and Gladio laughed awkwardly.

“I appreciate the honesty,” Ignis said, because what else could he possibly say?

Ask him,” Prompto hissed, nudging Noctis in the side with his elbow. Noctis jabbed him back, and the two tussled for a moment while Ignis raised an eyebrow and Gladio just groaned.

“Those two idiots want to know if you want to hook up. If not, all good, we'll play King’s Knight and talk shit for a while.”

“Um,” Ignis said, barely noticing that Prompto and Noctis had stopped jabbing each other and were watching him with open anticipation. “All three of you?”

“Too much?” Gladio asked. “We're happy to take you out on individual dates, if you'd like.”

“That sounds nice,” Ignis said distractedly, “but are you trying to tell me that you're trying to give me a foursome for my birthday?”

“If you want to put it like that,” Gladio shrugged.

“Oh, why not,” Ignis said, trying to sound more composed than he felt.

“You don't have to,” Prompto piped up, and Ignis smiled indulgently at him.

“I want to.”

The noise that Ignis let out when Gladio picked him up out of his chair was truly mortifying, but he had to admit that he enjoyed being carted around with what felt like minimal effort. Gladio’s arms were something else, and Ignis liked having them around him.

Noctis’ obscenely large bed had seemed ostentatious when he'd insisted upon buying it, but when Gladio carried him into the bedroom, Ignis thought it looked nothing but inviting. As Gladio pressed him down in the middle of it, Ignis sighed happily, before the mattress dipped under three more weights and hands and lips were all over any exposed patch of skin on his body.

Gently tugging the nearest face up, Ignis smiled indulgently at Prompto and placed his glasses aside before kissing him, dipping his tongue into Prompto's mouth and feeling him shudder. Judging from the feeling of facial hair against his neck, Ignis assumed that Gladio was the one sucking and biting marks there, which left Noctis as the one shoving cold hands under his shirt and running his nails along Ignis’ torso.

“So beautiful,” Gladio murmured, his fingers beginning to work on the buttons of Ignis’ shirt. Prompto was still enthusiastically kissing him, and Noctis was idly playing with his belt; Ignis’ cock was hard and trapped in his pants, and he moaned when someone's hand cupped him lightly.

“Tell us if it's too much,” Noctis said, leaving Ignis to moan his agreement into Prompto's mouth. Clutching at Prompto's shoulders when Noctis slowly, slowly popped his belt, Ignis writhed under the three men whose hands were pulling at his belt and his pants and his underwear, making him pant and groan against Prompto as his clothes were removed.

“Switch,” Gladio grunted, and Prompto was suddenly gone, only to immediately be replaced by Gladio.

“Hi there,” Gladio said, so close that Ignis could feel the words being shaped against his lips. This kiss was more experienced than Prompto’s, and Ignis pulled Gladio closer with a hand on the back of his head while the other hand flew out to grab at the sheets. If Prompto was put out at being replaced, he didn’t show it, and Ignis lightly pushed Gladio away when he became aware of wet sounds coming from further down the bed.

Without Gladio in the way, he could see Noctis and Prompto kissing over him, their faces not too much higher than Ignis’ aching, exposed cock.

“Look at that,” Ignis whispered, a little awed by how hot it was to watch two of his friends kiss. Maybe he’d thought about in in quiet, private moments; maybe he hadn’t. But the reality was better than any fantasy could be, and Ignis bucked helplessly when Gladio pushed his open shirt aside and pinched one of his nipples.

“It’d be hotter if they’d involve you a little more,” Gladio said loudly as an obvious hint. Noctis slowly opened one eye and slid it towards them, holding Ignis’ gaze even as he shoved his tongue into Prompto’s mouth and wrapped a hand around the base of Ignis’ cock.

Oh,” Ignis moaned, and Gladio laughed.

“Let us take care of you.”

Obviously trying not to block Ignis’ view, Gladio lowered his mouth to Ignis’ chest, licking and biting at stiff nipples. He groaned happily when Ignis pulled at his hair, something that Ignis was very happy for when his muscles seized up as two tongues began licking at his cock.

It didn’t seem like either of them could take him very deep as they worked him over together, but it didn’t matter with one sucking on the head while the other nudged in to lick at his shaft and balls. Trapped under the weight of three grown men, Ignis could only thrust up a little with the growing pleasure running through him, and the restraint added a new dimension that he could only describe as intoxicating.

“Are you going to come?” Gladio asked eventually after he pulled away from Ignis’ nipples, leaving behind a dull ache that made an amazing contrast to the pleasure further down. “You should come on their faces. They’d look even better with you dripping from them.”

Ignis moaned helplessly, and Gladio’s teeth felt sharp against the fragile skin under his jaw. He didn’t usually like to give up this much control, but the other three seemed determined to worship him, and who was he to turn down attention and affection from three beautiful men on his birthday?

Besides, if the others were thinking along the same lines as he was himself, there would be plenty of opportunities for him to give his own back.

Close,” Ignis panted, one hand still clenched in the sheets and the other moving to grasp at the headboard. Prompto and Noctis seemed to take that as an invitation, and Ignis looked down to see Noctis taking as much of him in as possible while Prompto licked and sucked at whatever he could reach.

Sucking hard, Noctis looked up at Ignis, whose mouth fell open to let out a nearly unintelligible stream of babble.

Oh, I’m going to... Noct, I,...Prom, Gladio , I’m going to come, gorgeous...I, just like that, Prom, I can’t…”

Struggling against the bodies keeping him down, Ignis stared through wide, barely-seeing eyes, the pleasure becoming overwhelming as his body was attacked from three places.

“I’m coming,” Ignis gasped, and he moaned loudly as shudders ran through him and he came across Noctis and Prompto’s faces. The two in question moaned as well, while Gladio just hummed appreciatively against Ignis’ throat.

Once he was spent and softening, Noctis sat up and tugged Prompto along with him, leaning in to kiss Prompto’s swollen, come-stained lips. His nose screwed up at the taste but Prompto didn’t seem to share the same reluctance, eagerly taking control to lick the come from Noctis’ lips.

“To be young again,” Gladio muttered, laying down alongside Ignis and laying his hand on Ignis’ lower belly. They watched as the other two kissed for a while longer, Noctis eventually pulling away and wiping at the drying come on his face with a grimace. Ignis knew he should probably stop him when Noctis lifted the sheet to rub at his face, but they’d have to be changed anyway; what was a bit more mess?

Prompto leaned back in towards Noctis and let himself be cleaned up, eventually smiling gratefully and pushing Noctis down to lay at Ignis’ other side before arranging himself largely on top of Ignis.

“Happy birthday, Iggy,” Prompto said as he pressed a little kiss to Ignis’ jaw. “I hope you enjoyed your present.”

Trying to keep his smile under control, Ignis raised an eyebrow and tilted his lips down. “You say that like we’re finished.”

Prompto shrieked as he was suddenly flipped over, looking wide-eyed and shocked as he suddenly found himself underneath Ignis with a hand groping at his unsatisfied cock.

“The three of you still haven’t come; it would be remiss of me to leave you in that state.”

Noctis made a choked sound and Gladio laughed; if Prompto had anything to say, it was lost as Ignis swooped in for a fierce, open-mouthed kiss.

It was still his birthday for another few hours, and he was going to make the most of it.

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