Chapter Text
It wasn’t a secret for anyone how much Jinyoung liked reading, neither was it the fact Jaebum had been his primary and most significant source of influence over developing a liking in doing so.
Of course Jinyoung hasn’t just begun reading because Jaebum did, though. Reading was a hobby of himself, ever since he was young he dotted on books rather than on toys. He still remembers with wistful affection the day his father came to him with a whole set of colored toy cars and a very elaborated race track with sinuous curves and obstacles that should proportionate more tons of fun to the play.
He also still remembers how eager the man was for him to take a liking in those racing toy cars and move them up and down the track, and how disappointed he became after realizing Jinyoung was paying more attention to the instruction manual that came along with the race car track than to the toy itself. Not that his father found it wrong to prefer reading over toy playing, but parents usually hoped for their children to be more reckless and have fun scrapping their knees on the pavement at the age of five years old.
Maybe that’s why everyone called him a prodigious as he grew up with a book clutched on one hand and a toy forgotten on the floor, but truth was Jinyoung simply liked to read.
Words pleased him more than diving into a pool of mud in the middle of the street under a rainy day with his neighborhood friends —which weren’t that many since most of them found him boring and left him aside. All the alternative universes existing within those beautifully written and printed words fascinated him and they kept doing so as he grew up and hit adulthood, all along causing his mind to travel around the world even though his body remained caged in some country for lack of funds or dislike towards the idea of leaving his whole family behind. Jinyoung appreciated the idea of letting his imagination run free over the wide range of stories narrated through dark ink over yellowish aged pages, therefore he read and kept on reading, happily swallowing word after word and sentence after sentence and then page after page.
The thing about Jaebum being his influence in reading only covered a part of the matter, a tiny part of it, and just to some extent since what Jaebum improved in him regarding his reading habits was basically how many books he read. Quantity, and that’s about that.
Even though always having a great attachment to literature and finding genres like poetry and self-help truly interesting and worth a deepened study, Jinyoung didn’t feed the habit of reading every day, or nearly as much as once a week. Three books per year and some pocket storybooks settled as enough for his hunger of cult entertainment.
Things didn’t work the same for Jaebum, the guy really drowning in book after book until he’d have read at least seven books within the span of five months. It was really bizarre how fast Jaebum could read, plus the fact that he didn’t seem to grow tired of it even for a bit and would only deprive himself from reading when their schedules became too packed for his hobbies to have a spot. Watching the fervent passion Jaebum had towards books and paralleling it to his own addiction, Jinyoung decided to go along and read more often, more frequently, and so also going to Jaebum when he was in need of some book recommendations. It didn’t last long until they fell into a routine, and a silent agreement where they would go to each other whenever they had some new reading tips to offer blossomed in between, kind of bounding them together.
Jinyoung liked it, and his mind unconsciously educated himself to like even more the way they got so engrossed in the after match, in discussing books together, that sometimes they even forgot to really appreciate the story for what it was, sometimes just sucking in the main information of it to then go on and on about the broached subject until late at night, even though their analysis and points of view had gotten hollow and lacked details throughout the years.
After some time he realized, quite belatedly actually, that what thrilled him the most was their ritual of exchanging ideas and thoughts after reading the same book, the companionship and mutual respect, not to bluntly say faithful trust, they had in that and in themselves. A voice in his head once shared that their dynamic was so good and strong that it somehow worked as a silent confession; confession of what, Jinyoung didn’t know, but a confession nonetheless. And that was enough to awake some fluttering butterflies in the bottom of his stomach.
Since Jaebum and he started gathering to talk about books, it quickly became a habit which strangely turned into some kind of date night somewhere along the line. Every Saturday night they would buy packs of unhealthy food and bring them home along with some fried snacks from their favorite brand, greenish bottles of soju left cooling in the fridge since the day before and up until the moment they decided to gather in the living room and chill. The preparations were made with so much care that it really looked like a date over a simple night where they’d just talk about books out of a common hobby.
Jinyoung was sharp enough to notice how overly appreciative of their time together he were and how much he treasured those date nights they somehow made work despite respective packed schedules. Unfortunately, he was just about as slow to ignore the implied meanings in it. For someone who loved reading, he surely had a huge difficulty in reading between the lines. Apparently so did Jaebum, but none of them ever mentioned it. And Jinyoung wouldn’t be the one to break that mutual callowness of them.
The rest of the boys would all go out at Saturday nights then, excusing themselves by saying they wanted to get rid of the stress accumulated over the week and have some fun at the cheap club three blocks down the neighborhood, but Jaebum and Jinyoung knew better to know they were only going out to give them some privacy. Not that they ever needed it or asked for it or did anything to kick them out the dorm whatsoever.
Jinyoung had a distant inkling the guys just thought that book club of them to be dead boring and found it better to just leave them alone, but he commented nothing. Whatever has it been the motive, he was kind of thankful. Being alone with Jaebum was way better.
Another Saturday night dragged its way and soon enough Jinyoung was guzzling his second bottle of soju as Jaebum rambled on about the disclosure of the book they had been reading for the past month. It was a science fiction one and neither of them could get a grasp of how things worked in the end, the explanation of the subject in there being poorly developed and several gaps filling what could have been a great story of a man who traveled in time.
They chatted about the book for a few minutes before the subject died in a mutual agreement that it hasn’t been a good pick nor has it been a good indication of a title, Jaebum blaming Jinyoung for it just like he always did when they got together. Because yeah, it was always Jinyoung the one to give indications and Jaebum to take them, even though Jaebum was the one who read the most and had consequently encouraged Jinyoung to follow the same path. Jinyoung did the main research for their entertainment and Jaebum tagged along, only to tease him and pull at his ear later on when the book didn’t happen to be as interesting as its title suggested. That has also become something akin to a routine to them, Jinyoung getting the habit of rolling his eyes at the childish behavior of his friend but dutifully trying to find a better book for the next time.
And maybe that’s been why Jinyoung found himself widening his pair of deep doe eyes in sheer awe when Jaebum came back from the kitchen saying tonight’s recommendation was gonna be on him. The likelihood of that drifted close to zero and Jinyoung had actually schooled his heart not to expect something out of that field after all those late night encounters, but everything crumbled down that Saturday. And soon Jinyoung would realize that in more ways than one.
With his mouth dropped and eyes bulged out of their orbs Jinyoung looked like a fish, and Jaebum snickered at his unattractive face before sinking onto the floor and crossing his legs over the carpeted ground. The center table beside him was full with varied packs of flavored potato chips, some half eaten and others sealed still, and bottles of soju dripping condensation dutifully placed over the wooden surface. Jaebum pushed some aside in order to make room for his right arm and then rested his chin over the corresponding hand.
“There’s this book I started reading,” he drawled after both of them were settled comfortably onto their seats, Jinyoung having leaning forward to pick another drink from the table before climbing onto the sofa once again. There was a pause as Jinyoung sipped from the bottle with slender fingers clutching loosely at the neck, Jaebum’s eyes hovering on the way his naturally peachy mouth encircled the edges of the green glass, “It seems quite engaging for what I could grasp…I’m still at the very beginning of it, though. I, um, thought we could read it together?”
“Seriously?,” the bottle sweated inside the shell of his palm as he swept one corner of his mouth with the back of his free hand, the light knitting of his eyebrows denouncing how surprised, confused and slightly wary he was. The worst was that, above everything, Jinyoung couldn’t help being enthralled by the prospect of Jaebum providing a book of his own liking, book he found so impressive he thought of sharing its content with him in their free time. Jinyoung felt those butterflies churning on his stomach again.
“Yeah, I think it’ll be fun if we discuss about it. There’re a lot of things in there that I’d like to know your opinion about.”
“What kind of things? What genre is it?”
Jaebum fidgeted on his spot around the wooden center table in their living room, seemingly uncomfortable all of sudden. Jinyoung eyed him once again warily as he sensed something was off— if the way the broad span of Jaebum’s shoulders stiffened as if in defensive hasn’t already been enough of a clue.
Silence reigned for a few moments, dragging itself in the draws of breath Jaebum took while staring at the mahogany surface beneath his sharp elbow. Hesitance could be seen in every pretty feature of Jaebum’s face, expression closed and distant as though he tried to solve an equation, and so Jinyoung was sure there was an inner battle happening in the other’s head, likely about the mysterious book Jaebum claimed to be interested enough to bring out to their weekly gathering.
Sliding his feet off the sofa to plant them against the soft material of the carpet, Jinyoung remained in a sitting position although his body was now halfway leaned forward and his elbows rested on his thighs. Jaebum visibly stilled at the sudden yet warily motion by his side, but the most he did was chewing at his inner cheeks, slightly apprehensive. “Jaebum?”
“It’s different from the ones we’ve read up until now, the genre,” he answered after heaving a long, sounding exhausting sigh, “you must know it’s really different and you may strange it a bit in the beginning.”
“What, are we reading prayer books or something?”
“Stop being idiot, it’s serious,” the words were meant to sound like a reprimand but the subtle twitch on the corner of Jaebum’s lips ruined their heated seriousness like a bucket of ice cold water. Jinyoung smirked down at his friend when their eyes locked, tiny crinkles blooming at the corner of his dark eyes in such a cute way Jaebum struggled to hide the pure endearment shining on his own as he stared up at them.
“It’s serious,” Jinyoung parroted in a mocking tone that got the other aiming a full hand of potato chips at him, from which he easily dodged while chuckling quietly. Once he settled down again, soft giggles fading in between, Jinyoung picked one of the chips scattered all over the sofa and cocked his head to the side with a smug expression on place, “what, then? Are we reading something filthy, that’s why you’re being so hesitant in telling me?”
“Kinda.” Jaebum shifted when Jinyoung stared at him in bewilderment, mischief blooming brightly on his face and a shit-eating smirk tugging the sides of his plump lips insistently. There was a mumble coming from Jaebum right then, way too low and drawled out for Jinyoung to make a word of it, but the soft blush creeping at the tip of his ears was hint enough for him to match the dots.
There was something incredibly tempting in making Jaebum feel out of sorts, maybe even a bit flustered and shy, and Jinyoung sincerely reveled in the warm feeling burning on his chest whenever they were engrossed in such situations. Jaebum got extremely cute when embarrassed so Jinyoung educated himself to do his best in making those rare moments last as much as possible, for his own pleasure.
“Don’t tell me it’s gay porn.” Jinyoung teased and swallowed down the snack he had been munching for nearly half a minute, picking another chip from the sofa and plunging it into his puckering mouth as he awaited a reply. Dread washed over him when he noticed how Jaebum flinched somewhat guiltily at what was supposed to be a joke, and it was like the snack got stuck on his throat as realization hit him in full.
Jinyoung coughed, likewise choked, sucking in the air in long wheezes as though that would make the heaviness around his lungs to dissipate. Taking back the nearly empty bottle he’d discarded somewhere along the line and gulping down the remnants of it in one go, he slowly went through his momentary state of freaking out, glancing at the man sitting on the floor, standing right beside his leg in a tense position, and wondering what in name of god was that heck about.
“…is it?,” the question came in a quiet tone, voice smeared in cautious with an edge of dithering interest Jinyoung would never assume. Seconds passed under dead quietness and soon they turned into a whole minute, then two and almost made it to three. Jaebum looked as though he was regretting bringing up that topic, lips pursed and jaw locked in what seemed to be a very displeasing position, and Jinyoung couldn’t help but drown in the anticipation building inside his guts. He was shocked and tempted to dig further into that dangerous matter at the same time, and that was a cocktail of sensations he couldn’t bring himself to dislike.
Imagining Jaebum could be one of the type who read that kind of genre was something he would never do, not even in his wildest fantasies; not because he’d be somehow grossed out by that or would come to look at his friend differently after archiving that new information in his brain and flipping through it later in order to analyze it thoroughly. Actually, it was the very opposite of it.
Jinyoung would never allow himself to merely entertain the thought of Jaebum being interested in such subject as relationships between people of same gender because he didn’t want to have his mind counting chickens before the eggs have hatched and blinding his sharp judgment with false hope.
He couldn’t afford having such behavior, not when they were supposed to hold only a professional and friendly kind of relationship. There were no gaps for romance and Jinyoung’s stupid ideas about what would it feel like to taste Jaebum in more ways than just one, and there would never be. Yet there he was, gaze focused and trained in every shifting move Jaebum did as they settled within a deafening silence, waiting for what kind of response the older between them two would give and hoping for it to be something that crossed their friendship barrier.
And so, after what felt like ten minutes but probably had been barely five, Jaebum turned and held their gazes together before nodding in still silent resolution. A confirmation.
Jinyoung gulped dryly, the alcohol provided by the soju he’d been downing ever since the beginning of the night now working on his system in a fizzy way and making his inability of controlling his facial expressions when drunk show. Face heated from both embarrassment and drunkenness, he also nodded in understanding, trying to ignore how unwavering Jaebum’s gaze was now that they were waging a staring battle primarily based in underlying meanings, all of them way deeper than what the both of them was willing to acknowledge.
“And how is it?,” Jinyoung inquired in such a tiny voice neither he recognized being his own, clearing his throat and repeating the question again before continuing, “this book you’re engaging us to read together, how is it?”
“I barely made it to the third chapter, I haven’t much to say about it yet…,” Jaebum scratched the back of his neck and looked away, down the bottles of soju and over the waxed surface of the table which faintly reflected his figure in blurriness. “Just that it’s… interesting.”
“How interesting?,” curiosity was eating him alive and even though he knew he shouldn’t be poking that subject further and further like that, that was exactly what he was doing, poking it and trying to get as much of an information he could. All because his interest got flamed up and his mind kicked into fifth gear, wondering if reading a book about gay porn was the same as watching videos of it because oh, Jinyoung watched them a lot.
“It has a, uh, really good writing and the content it’s not just about… that, if you know what I mean. There are literature edges on it, romance hiking up as the chapters go on, development of characters and it seems to have a great and fluid development of the story itself. Of course there’s sexual interaction but it’s not just that.”
“So is it erotica?” the question came in a mixture of confusion and realization when Jinyoung finally understood what was that book about. There was a huge difference between erotica and simple junky gay porn, difference Jaebum didn’t seem to have deep knowledge about since the man now wore a thoughtful expression on his face.
When talking about book genres, the range of options was pretty extent. Porn, on its essence, was composed by stories written for the sole purpose of granting some sexual gratification. Plot, character development and romance weren’t primary in this genre and it’s designed to incite the reader to orgasm and nothing else. Erotica was basically the opposite, made of stories written about the sexual journey of the characters and how this impacts them as individuals. Emotion and character growth were the important facets that composed this genre even though erotica wasn’t necessarily designed to show the development of a romantic relationship, being only optional of the author.
Inside erotica there was also the subgenre called Erotic Romance, where the stories dealt mainly with the development of a romantic relationship through sexual interaction, the proper sex being an inherent part of the story, character growth and relationship development, and causing no damages to the storyline if removed. Quite similar to Sexy Romance, excluding the part where the sex just happens to be more explicit and not actually primordial, this subgenre required a happily ever after ending.
And, unconsciously, this kind of ending was the one Jinyoung most craved for in real life, preferably with Jaebum. What he knew would never happen, not even in a trillion years, but he just couldn’t find it in himself to stop dreaming, stop wishing, stop craving.
Jinyoung wondered how could he know so much about that kind of genre considering the fact that he’d never read a single book from it. Erotica surely had its enchants, the description of the sex fairly told to be exquisite and utterly arousing, but his shyness never allowed him to. It wasn’t the same as watching porn, somehow reading that kind of book where romance was the base for everything seemed more intimate.
Maybe that’s why he has ever refused himself to succumb to his curiosity, afraid of what others would think if they found out he was into gay romance with tons of sex. But now, right now, Jaebum was offering him this new world. Jaebum was offering him the escape he’s ever craved for, the permission to dive into those unknown waters without being yanked back by the scrutiny of other people finding about it. Because doing it alone was a case, and doing it together with someone he knew would never allow anyone else to interfere on their matters and crash down their glassy bubble of rejoice was something completely different.
And so Jinyoung felt tempted to give in; tempted to accept what he was being proposed and just read it with Jaebum, discover that new world with Jaebum, share those enticing new sensations with Jaebum. And damn he wanted to, he wanted to do all of that without holding back. But he did hold himself back after all. There was no way he could read erotica and then discuss about it with Jaebum without feeling somehow charged and triggered and ready to burst.
It would be too intimate for him to handle everything just as another book gathering, week after week getting aroused by the book and sharing the details with Jaebum while resisting the urge to perform all the passages of the story with him. It would be awkward when his friend rejected him if he ever went over limits and made a move, and Jinyoung wasn’t ready for that. Every cell of his body screamed that it was a bad idea and begged him to decline, to save himself from that doom, to stick to those literature books they were already sickening fed up with.
But then again there was that shy uncertainty and resistance edging Jaebum’s features Jinyoung couldn’t shake off of his senses. It has been him the one to bring that subject up, prompting them to burn together into that brand-new set of mind, and Jinyoung still mulled over Jaebum expressing his desires towards knowing Jinyoung’s opinion about that book. Jaebum wanted that, had summed up enough courage as to confess that during their weekly book date, went against the stubbornness and proud and flaming ego Jinyoung knew he housed deep inside only to engage them into reading erotica together.
And there again he was, unable to shatter Jaebum’s efforts into pieces and decline that meaningful offer to the handsome face he knew was full of false bravado. Therefore he set his mind and heart for the worst, internally accepting to drown in that perilous sea that was his friend’s dusk nature and irresistible persona.
“I don’t know how it’s called, but yeah, sure, I guess so.” Jaebum spoke at last, standing up from the floor doesn’t minding a bit to shake off possible dirt from his clothes. Once he was on his feet, Jinyoung looked up in apprehension, afraid he had done something to snap the other up and make him run away from the conversation just like that.
Kind of relief washed over him when Jaebum simply stood there, awkwardly fiddling with his fingers. Above being bad-tempered, cranky, impulsive and everything else, Jaebum was sincerely cute. “You really want to know my opinion about it that bad? Why?”
“Not ‘that bad’, I just got curious and thought you’d like it and— ah, you know what, forget it. Let’s stick to our regular books. You can give the indication I know you’ve prepared and next week we—”
“Alright.” Jinyoung cut him midsentence, an amused glint enlightening his dark eyes as he watched the way Jaebum’s nose scrunched up in a burst of restless and dismay for being that exposed. Their eyes met across the unleveled angle they currently were and whiskers creased the corners of Jinyoung’s eyes as he smiled toothlessly, resolute. “Let’s do it. What book is it?”
Jaebum stilled, body going motionless, apparently skeptical about what he had just heard. The twin dots tainting his left eyelid looked beautiful from where Jinyoung admired them, both fluttering slightly along the flesh as Jaebum switched his gaze from Jinyoung’s face to the floor and then came back again, just as though he waited for Jinyoung to change his mind if he stared at him for too long.
But Jinyoung didn’t, and his smile was still in place when Jaebum sighed and moved around to reach behind one of the cushions in the smaller sofa, drawing a thick novel from there just as soon. Jinyoung didn’t bother to wonder why Jaebum had hidden the book in there, though. Mind too engrossed in the velvety cover of the book clutched between those small fingers to do so.
“Here,” he handed Jinyoung the book, the relatively new edition feeling heavy and firm against his palm as he took it with cautious, and then Jinyoung’s beautiful pair of deep pools was scanning the cover avidly. The title lacked hints about the alluring subject it supposedly held and it could easily pass as any other kind of genre if Jinyoung didn’t know better. But he did, he knew better than to let his guards down.
It did look quite inoffensive as Jinyoung flipped through it absentmindedly though, fingertips sliding against one little fold on the top of one page being probably done by Jaebum to mark where he’d stopped his reading. Eyes snapping up, he frowned softly at the other, “you were reading this copy, how will you keep on reading it if you’re handing this to me now?”
“I wasn’t exactly handing it to you, I was just showing you the book so you’d get familiar with it,” he explained and then grinned in smugness when Jinyoung grimaced at him from his spot, and that was the first time Jaebum wore other expression than the one of hesitance and nervousness from before so Jinyoung let that pass unpunished. At least Jaebum looked tons more relaxed now.
“I suppose I’ll have to read this through the internet then? You’ve always been the one to do so when we got stuck with just one copy to use, but since you were the one to indicate the book this time we reversed positions?”
“Good thing you have your reading glasses designed with brightness prevent then.”
“I hate when you’re like this.” Jinyoung huffed, tone sounding serious but eyes shining with mirth. Whenever Jaebum behaved like that, all cool and mocking and arrogant and sly, Jinyoung felt rattles on his skin with unexpressed longing. That teasing behavior was hot, just like that explosive and heated temper the older owned, and by this point Jinyoung doubted he would ever find something in Jaebum that wasn’t freaking attractive anymore.
Things were the way they were, and Jaebum was handsome and charming and seductive by nature.
“Of course you do.” The mocking smirk locked in Jaebum’s lips was so endearingly hateful Jinyoung felt a sudden urge to smack that face of his with a well deserved punch, but his soft side wouldn’t ever allow him such satisfaction. Sometimes he thought Jaebum just knew about his weakness towards him and used that on his favor, only to provoke him as much as he wanted to with the advantage of getting away with it unharmed every time, but he didn’t blame him, no. Jinyoung would do the same if he ever caught such weakness coming from Jaebum towards him. Though he never did.
“Alright then, when are we reading this? I mean, you’re already drifting close to the third chapter so you’ll have to just wait for me to catch up, right?”
“Um, yeah, that’s the plan, yes. Next week we gather again and you tell me what you’re thinking about the story so far.”
“So I’ll have to read three chapters straight in a week?,” Jinyoung practically whined, his reading rhythm still not that developed to cope with what Jaebum was asking of him, plus sometimes he just got real lazy and tired because of their unforgiving schedule and wanted nothing but sleep, and then reading three chapters due to next week wouldn’t work.
But Jaebum knew that, and the mirth shining in those catlike eyes as he grinned down at him showed just how much he pleasured himself in making Jinyoung struggle around the deadline only to keep up with their silent agreement in sharing books impressions. Jinyoung really hated when Jaebum was like that, seeing through him just like clear water.
This ability of Jaebum to read him just as good and fast as he read all those books they shared frequently scared the shit out of Jinyoung, though. He felt so transparent, deprived of any cover or well appreciated shield when it came to Jaebum’s sharp gaze. Sometimes he feared Jaebum got him too figured out; aware of how fond of their time together Jinyoung had become throughout time and how deeper feelings started to bloom from it since a while ago. Maybe he pitied him enough to don’t say a word or even bring the subject up, too respectful of their friendship to embarrass him to that extent.
Sleepless nights dragged on because of that, the uncertainty building up and the fear eating him alive, but then Jinyoung managed to deal with all of that, got used to it. If Jaebum knew and chose to don’t say a word, maybe it’s been better like that. If he didn’t know and was dead clueless about everything, then even better it was. Jinyoung learned how to push the restlessness aside with time and he’d only allow himself to feel insecure about that once in a while.
Bad enough, this twist in their routine regarding their book genre choices managed to flourish all those insecurities back and so Jinyoung felt as though he couldn’t breathe. It was exhausting experiencing that adrenaline of being caught nourishing deeper feelings for Jaebum again, and so Jinyoung heaved a long sigh before slumping back on the sofa and closing his eyes in try of getting his mind straight. He could feel his friend’s eyes on him as he did so, but he only snapped his own open again after half a minute of appeasing contemplation.
“Ok, I guess I can make it. Next week. Deal.” His voice came out tired but it didn’t have anything to do with how it was already late at night and they’ve been awake for more than nineteen hours straight now. “But it better be really good, this book.”
“Trust me in this one.” Jaebum purred just like an elated cat that got the milk bow he wanted after meowing and meowing in persuasion, eyes turning into narrow openings of dark eyelashes and raven irises as he grinned wider. That was unfair, Jaebum was just too adorable for his own good.
Jinyoung regarded him warily one last time before giving in and propping himself out the sofa and on his legs, muscles complaining when he stretched his body by raising both arms above his head as far as he could with a fake yawn leaving his pouting mouth. He wasn’t sleepy, just tired of revolving around thoughts and more thoughts about Jaebum. “When haven’t I?”
Jaebum chuckled a bit and prompted himself to help Jinyoung cleaning the table, picking a few empty bottles and grimacing when his fingers brushed over some leftover sauce that somehow spilled from the long gone fried chicken they ate before stuffing themselves with potato chips and alcohol somewhere along the night. Jinyoung laughed openly at that before successfully dodging the sticky finger Jaebum tried to dirty him with.
They resumed the cleaning, Jaebum excusing himself to hide the erotic book in his room and coming back moments later, and then they chatted about nothing in particular for about more half an hour until the rest of their friends arrived from their night out in the club.
Midst listening to how Bambam embarrassed not only himself but the rest of the others by stripping to a girlgroup song above the countertop of the bar in the club they went, Jinyoung couldn’t shake off the feeling someone was watching him. He went breathless from laughing when Jackson mimicked how scandalized Youngjae looked like while Bambam put up a show of unzipping his pants and zipping it up right after in a teasing move, and everyone shrieked when Mark exposed Jackson by revealing how he had even stuffed a few notes into Bambam’s pants and howled encouragingly through it all.
They were all chocking on laughter right then and even so Jinyoung still felt eyes on him. Funny how he didn’t even have to look around and search for whom had been burning a hole on his face as they talked happily about the events of the night out, his stare immediately landing on Jaebum and locking those dark depths in a challenge.
Jaebum was leaned against the doorframe with his arms crossed in front of his chest, a soft and somewhat knowing smile on his lips as he started at Jinyoung even though Yugyeom was by his side telling him how no, he didn’t join Bambam in the sexy dance above the countertop like Mark was saying and no, he hasn’t called Jaebum names while in his drunk state like Youngjae was accusing him of doing so. Something did a flip inside Jinyoung’s stomach right then and he looked away, unsure of why he felt the urge to fight the blush creeping up his neck. Fuck Jaebum and his mad effect on him.
When everyone calmed down from the thrill proportioned by the night at the club and withdrew to their respective rooms, Jinyoung thanked the fact he wasn’t paired up with anyone in the roommate thing. He rejoiced his independence and privacy, and he appreciated it even more now that he was bound to read the book Jaebum engaged them into in his notebook. He couldn’t risk reading it with someone else sleeping in a bed right next to him, so he was thankful for the room arrangement once again.
It hasn’t been hard to find the book title on the internet once Jinyoung googled it in the dimness of his room, even taking the time to make his research through an incognito tab for good measure. Luckily, they had it in a pdf archive format in the site he visited so he downloaded it and hastily closed the page.
For some reason his heartbeat was pounding on his ears as he opened the book archive, the letters making him cringe while his eyes watched them taking form in the document. He could do this. It was just erotica, he could fucking do it. Worrying about Jaebum’s reaction when they first started talking about it next week was for later, now he should just focus and enjoy that new experience the most he could. He took a deep breath when the document of nearly two hundred pages finished loading.
And so Jinyoung started reading.