Archive of Our Own

"Abandoned," she whispered. "The boy's a mystery."

For a woman with a supposedly bleeding heart, the orphanage caretaker, Miss Catrina, was a sinful gossip. But it was hard to ignore the new boy that had been dropped off in the dead of night. He couldn't have been more than four years old. He was found on the front porch, fast asleep in only his car seat with no note or papers. He didn’t even have a name, just his blue pyjamas, and a red blanket.

"All he said at first was 'Where's my mum?' When I couldn't answer, the lad stopped speakin' all together."

"'tis a shame, poor boy." It was the only response Arthur had heard out of any of the other grown ups Miss Catrina told. After hearing the story about ten times, it was now boring to him, so he went back into his corner to read his favorite book for possibly the hundredth time.

Arthur had been in the orphanage all his life. He knew nothing of his mother, who died in child birth, and clearly there was no one left to care for him since he was there. But who wouldn't want a healthy golden haired boy? Arthur was not sure. It could have something to do with the tantrums, or the rowdy behavior, or his smart mouth. But he couldn't help it. He hated those dumb grown ups and wanted nothing to do with them. He was better than them anyway.

He wouldn't abandon anyone, unlike them.

Some children came toppling into the room, chasing each other playing some imaginary game. They knocked over chairs and laughed and screamed. Arthur rolled his eyes. Children. He stormed out of the kitchen and up the stairs. The house was old and creaked everywhere, and the windows were cloudy and distorted, so no one liked hanging around upstairs. He went into his bedroom. The boy he had shared it with had been adopted, so Arthur had his own room. He planned on enjoying it for as long as he could.

He sat on the edge of his bed and read his thin but worn book, with its large letters for his developing mind. He knew every word and every illustration. It had been read to him almost every night to put him to sleep until he could read it by himself. The book’s level of reading was probably a bit beyond what could be expected of a boy his age to comprehend, but he had it memorized and used it to further his phonetic education by himself. His reading skills were at least two years advanced from where they should be. The sun was slowly setting on that side of the house, causing harsh golden light to form a beam through the windows. But Arthur liked it. He could see better, not that he needed to.

He heard a creak from the floor on the far side of the room. Hidden in the shadow of the door in the corner was a little boy, crouched on the rough wood with his arms wrapped tight around his knees, like they could hide him. As soon as his eyes made contact with Arthur's he tucked in his head, leaving only his tousled black hair.

It was the mystery boy.

"Oi! D’you mind? I'm trying to read. And this is my room," he scolded. The boy didn't move. "Can't you hear? Find your own room."

If possible, the boy balled himself up even tighter. Arthur's patience ran out. All he wanted was to read his book in peace. He shut the book and stormed over to the corner. "What is wrong with-" he cut himself off after he tugged at the boy's skinny arms.

He was crying.

His big blue eyes were glossy and his cheeks were damp. His irritated red nose drastically stood out from his pale face. Arthur froze.

"What're you crying for?" he asked, still in shock. Of course, the boy didn't answer. Arthur had heard about him being mute from Miss Catrina all day. "Look, stop that. If one of the older kids see you like this they will never let up. Go on now, go play or something." The boy's breathing was heavy, slowing his sobs. He broke eye contact and looked down at the tattered book in Arthur's hand. "What? It's a book. Like, for reading. You can read, can't you? ‘Course not, you're a baby." The boy tucked his head back in his knees. Arthur sighed.

With a thud, he sat next to the boy. "I might as well read it to you. It's the only way I'll ever finish it today." He opened up to the first page, happy to start over. The lighting had been nicer on the bed, but he didn't need it, he knew it by heart. "'The Tale of King Arthur of Camelot'. That's my name, you see? Arthur, like the King!" This made the boy look up to the first picture. It was of a noble looking king, whose hair was as golden as Arthur's only much longer and with an added beard. He was on a white horse and dressed in armor, holding a sword up to the sky with his large white castle in the background. Arthur had always loved this story. Not just because he shared a name with the main character, but he loved the tales of the medieval knights, fighting, dragons, and magic.

"What about you? You got a name?" The boy remained quiet, his eyes darting across the page, soaking in every detail. "Well you can't go on without a name." He turned the page. In the next picture, the king was on his throne and a beautiful woman accompanied him. But the boy's eyes were drawn to the figure standing to the very right of the king. Looking down upon King Arthur was a man in long robes, holding a staff and had long white hair, with an equally long beard. The two men were smiling at each other.

The boy wiped away his tears and placed his clumsy hand on the book, pulling it closer for a better look. "That's Merlin," he real Arthur explained. "He's a sorcerer. The most powerful in all the whole wide world! He can do all kinds of magic. And he's Arthur's best mate." The boy uncurled, stretching out his short legs and feeling the page with both hands. Arthur was amused with his infatuation, and for the first time ever, he let another child slide the book onto their lap and hold it. The boy was clearly too young to read, but it looked like he was absorbing every word.

"Hey! I have an idea. Since I'm Arthur, you can be Merlin! There! You have a name."

The boy's expression finally changed. He turned and frowned at Arthur. "I'm not old!" His squeaky young voice, raw from crying but cross enough to convey it in his diction. "You're old!"

"I'm only five!" Arthur was awestruck. But it quickly melted into amusement due to the suddenly feisty mystery child. "You have to be Merlin. Or else you'll have to be Guinevere."

"Gwen-a-who?"

"Guinevere." He pointed to the woman in the picture. "Arthur's wife. The Queen."

"I wanna be a knight." The boy pointed to a picture of one of the knights standing near the throne.

"Like Lancelot? That’s a silly name!" Arthur laughed.

The boy shoved the book off of his lap and began to run for the door. Before exiting the room, he turned around to glare at Arthur and yell, "You're stupid!" And stuck out his tongue.

"And you're a baby!" He continued reading, undisturbed.

Later that night, Arthur was walking out of the boys’ loo, getting ready for bed when he passed Miss Catrina's office. "I need to fill out yer papers, laddie. Don't you have any kind of name?" He stopped. From the small crack from the door, Arthur could see the dark haired boy, sitting with his legs dangling from a chair across from Miss Catrina's desk. There was a long pause as he looked down. Just as she gave up and sighed, a little voice said, "Merlin."

"I beg yer pardon?"

"My name. It's Merlin." Arthur smiled.

 "No! Arthur!" Merlin screamed. He ran to the door, but it wouldn't open after the mean, old man shut it. He was dragging Arthur to a shiny black car out front. He ran to the window and proceeded to bang on it. "Arthur! Come back! Arthur!"

"Merlin!" Arthur screamed and struggled more, hearing his friend at the window. For once his tantrums didn't work. He kicked and screamed; he yelled words he didn't even know the meaning of, but heard the older kids yelling in anger and getting scolded by Miss Catrina for using. But nothing worked. "Let go, you stupid, old man! Merlin!"

"Don't leave me, Arthur! Please!" His voice cracked, and his throat felt raw from the burning sobs. But nothing could stop them. The man opened the car door. The fight was leaving Merlin, but not the tears.

"I'll come back, Merlin! Promise! I swear I'll find you and we can be together again! Merlin!" The car door closed.

Merlin watched until the car was out of eye sight with his only friend. "Arthur…"

 "Arthur!" A shrill voice woke him from his reoccurring nightmare. His whole body jumped, slamming his head against the window. Pain hit his neck from falling asleep in an uncomfortable sitting position. His sister sat opposite him, looking rather cross. It took him a moment to comprehend where he was and what was happening.

Not again… he thought. Not that memory…

"We're here!" Morgana said with an irritated face. Arthur just realized the car had stopped.

"Thank God…" he said sarcastically, rubbing the sleep from his eyes. If only this part was the dream. Moving into uni, with his sister. Half sister. Whatever.

Uther couldn't make it. He was at a meeting in Spain, of course. But Arthur preferred it that way. He was tired of his father. The only good thing about going back to school was he didn't have to live with that man. Morgana, however, was not much of an upgrade. Choosing between Uther or Morgana was like asking if Arthur rather eat brussel sprouts or spinach, both of which left a horrible taste in his mouth. If he had to choose, it would be the latter. At least it was better for you. Morgana was very much the embodiment of spinach; hard to swallow, but could be beneficial in the end.

He was still dazed when he got out of the car and into the bright sunlight. The chauffeur got out and began unpacking the car with the other assistant. Arthur put on his sunglasses to hide the fact he had yet to return to reality.

It's been years: over a decade. Yet the memory still haunted him. He couldn't remember anything from that life time. Not the house, Miss Cat…whatever her name was, not even his friend’s face. Just his favorite book and the screams. Merlin…

"You are so useless." Morgana scolded when Arthur didn’t help with any of the boxes or bags. He made a face at her. She made one back. It was like they never grew up.

Uther Pendragon of Dragon Technology had been generous enough to purchase two flats for his two children for their years at Albion University. Maybe “generous” was not the right word considering he would earn the money back on his lunch break. Arthur was as happy as he could possibly be. Arthur had fought tooth and nail to attend a university so far from home, and Uther had only agreed to this one because his old friend Dray Kilgarrah was the headmaster. That, and it had a fantastic business department, which was fortunate seeing as it was assumed that Arthur would be taking over the company one day.

It was the only time he and Morgana had ever agreed, mainly because she wanted out too. They both would be starting their first term this year.

"I'm gonna go meet up with Gwen. She’s already unpacking. Later, loser." Morgana said, heading towards the entrance to the building to meet up with her flat mate.

"Okay, trollop," he insulted back.

"Wanker."

"Love you."

"Love you too."

It didn’t take too long to get everything into his flat. Uther bought the place furnished, and Arthur did not require much to live on other than clothes and some personal belongings. Anything else he would just buy while he was there. He sent the chauffeur away as soon as he could, ridding himself of any reminders of his father's lifestyle. He determined it wouldn’t prove to be an easy task. It was large and modern, with a full polished kitchen, a dining area, spacious living room, a balcony with glass doors, a full bath with a tub, and a bedroom that could room a small family. This kind of treatment often angered Arthur, as if his father believed he could not live without luxury. But he may as well live comfortably. It was better than a dorm room with a complete stranger.

He was unpacking some boxes in his room when he noticed that there was a theme of crimson and gold in the curtains and linens. How royal, Arthur thought. Even the walls were a deep shade of red. His father had really over done it.

There was a knock on the door. Arthur sighed as he walked towards the door. He had been enjoying a rare moment alone.

At the door was a very happy Morgana, looking all too pleased with herself, with Gwen standing next to her with a bottle of wine. "Time to celebrate the move!" Morgana and her flat mate welcomed themselves inside, ignoring Arthur's glare at the door.

"Of course you can come in girls, by all means, don't be shy…" he said flatly, closing the door. They were already in the kitchen looking for glasses, and quickly realized they were in the cardboard boxes that still littered the place.

"You poor thing!" Gwen exclaimed. "You haven’t finished unpacking?"

"There’s only one of me."

"And whose fault is that?" Morgana smirked. Arthur was older by a year, but Morgana had a tendency to tease him like an older sibling. Most of her criticism was towards his anti-social life style. Arthur had always preferred to keep to himself, ever since he was little. Some things never changed.

There was an awkward silence when Arthur chose not to answer and only glare. He was in no mood to take shit from Morgana. Sensing the tension, Gwen broke the silence. "We'd be happy to help, Arthur!" Gwen had always been a good mediator between the two.

After they all finished in the kitchen and living room and had a good buzz from the wine, they started on Arthur's room. Morgana made comments on his awful fashion choices as she unpacked his clothes while he and Gwen focused on his remaining boxes of necessities, room decorations, and valuables.

"What's this?" she asked, pulling out the old book that by some miracle was still attached to the spine.

"It’s nothing. I'll take that," he snatched it away embarrassed.

"Do you still have that old book about King Arthur?" Morgana laughed.

"Lay off it, Morgana," he snapped.

"Bloody hell. He’s had that thing since father brought him from…" she cut herself off. Morgana may have been tactless, but even she knew to never bring up the orphanage. Arthur stared at her intensely until she looked away apologetically. He stored the book in his bedside table and covered it with other books and knick-knacks.

"I think it's sweet. I used to love Arthurian legend too. Read all about it." Gwen said. It was somehow comforting to Arthur. "It's a shame I couldn't get into that class on it."

"No worries. I did." Arthur smirked. Gwen playfully punched his arm. They had known each other since Morgana became close friends with her in primary school so Arthur grew up with her antics.

"I am so jealous! You will have to tell me everything."

"Certainly. You can even write my papers if you want."

"A valiant effort, but I must decline ."

Morgana stumbled out of the closet. "Well that's enough productivity for the evening. Who’s up for another bottle? Have to start out the term right!"

"Scoot over!" Merlin urged. They were tangled in the small bed amongst the sheets. Only a torch lit up the old pages of the book.

"I can't! Half my bum is off the bed."

"No! Half mine is!"

"Then sleep on your own bed."

"I wanna hear the story."

"Alright alright, come here." Arthur hooked his arm around Merlin's small shoulder and let him cuddle up to Arthur's chest, so he wouldn't fall out. "Once upon a time…"

"I want to read it!"

"You couldn't get past the first page last time. You're a baby!"

"Am not! I've gotten better."

"Fine. Start here." Merlin sat up and moved in closer.

"'Once upon a time, King Arthur ruled the…gr-ee-ah…"

"—Great…"

"…Great Kingdom of Camelot. Arthur was just and f-f-ah…fair and loved by all." He turned that page, sounding through all the words slowly. "One day, Arthur called upon his… ad-vi-sor and s-sor-cerer, the gr…great and powerful Merlin.' See Arthur!"

"You're getting it." He smiled and tousled Merlin's hair with his other hand. "The only baby here who can read. Keep going."

No amount of wine could ease the pain of starting the term. After taking a year off, Arthur thought he would be aching to get back into the swing of schooling, but he was actually rusty. The early mornings that required him to actually have a functioning mind were a major reality check, as well as the large amount of work he already had. His courses weren't even that difficult, but they certainly kept him busy the first few days. It felt strange, seeing the upper classmen who already had heir established groups while he was stuck with the younger first years that all seemed like children in comparison. The age and year barriers made him feel like the odd man out.

Arthur was enjoying some down time for once and eating his lunch outside at a bench, when he heard his name from across the court yard. "Arthur fucking Pendragon!?" His stomach dropped. He knew that voice.

"Gwaine?" A large, fit, young man with long hair and scruffy beard was charging at him before he knew what was happening, and trapped him in a hug, lifting him from his seat.

"I don't believe it! I had no idea you were planning on coming to Albion!"

"Well I only decided last spring, and our year had already shipped off. I had forgotten you go here! If I had remembered I would have rang you."

"You remain unforgiven, you sodden sinner. But it’s so great to see you, mate!"

"And you. Nice to see a familiar face that isn't Morgana."

"You brought the harpy with you?"

"She may have brought me. Figured with her starting uni, I should too."

"Glad to have you. Come here and meet my dorm mate." Arthur did not even see the giant statue that was supposed to be a man standing quietly next to Gwaine. How did he miss him? His biceps were so large it appeared they had ripped the sleeves off the man's shirt, unless it came sleeveless. "This is Percy. Percy, this is Arthur Pendragon. We played football together back in secondary school. Looks like he finally decided he wasn't too much of a Neanderthal for an education." They shook hands.

"Pendragon? Do people make a lot of jokes about Dragon software at you?"

"Erm, yes, yes they do. Until they find out I am actually Uther Pendragon's son. Then it becomes less funny for them, and even funnier for me."

"You're shitting me! You're the heir to Dragon Technologies?"

"And you thought I was kidding when I said I had friends in high places." Gwaine playfully punched Percy, which of course did not even make him flinch.

"What on earth are you doing at a university like this?" Percy asked.

"He missed me! But seriously, what are you doing here? What tomfoolery were you up to this past year? Did you invent the next big Dragon Product? Did you steal from the company? Are you on the run? Did I blow your cover?" Gwaine's child like energy had not faded since their school days.

"Sorry to ruin your fantasies, but I just needed a gap year to decide what direction I wanted to go with my life. I interned at His Royal Highness's company for a bit, then decided that uni sounded like a good place to hide out."

"His Royal Highness…" Percy sounded confused.

"That's what he calls his father. Poor little rich boy." Gwaine patted him on the back with full force. Arthur was amazed he was able to stand his ground. But he was used to this. It was nice to have an old friend around to help with the adjustment, even if he hadn’t been mentally prepared for the assault the senses that was Gwaine.

The three of them made small talk until Arthur's break in between classes was over and he had to be on his merry way.

"Do you have any plans this weekend?" Gwaine asked as Arthur packed away the lunch he didn't even get to eat.

"’Fraid not. Haven't exactly scheduled socializing."

"Same old Arthur. Well the first big party of the term is this Friday at one of the senior's manors up the street. You must come if you plan on actually being part of this university."

"I'll think about it."

"Don't." He said sternly.

"Alright, thought it over, I'll be there."

"Invite Morgana."

"I take that back." Gwaine chuckled and embraced him one more time.

"Good to have you back, mate."

"Yeah, things are looking up."

To finish off what had been a pretty superb day (as much as a school day could be) Arthur went to his favorite class, Analysis of Arthurian Literature. For one, it was rather easy. As self absorbed as he realized it sounded, he still loved Arthurian legend and had been studying it independently all his life. He already knew most of it, but was eager to learn more. Secondly, Professor Gaius was possibly the most brilliant scholar he had ever had the pleasure of being taught by. He was a stout man with thin white hair, and perpetually judgmental eyes. He spoke with a strong, intelligent voice, and at times had a gaze that seemed strict. But he was knowledgeable and engaging. Also, his bright, tacky sweater vests were unfathomably amusing. His thick rimmed glasses changed everyday to match them. Today he was sporting a truly horrendous shade of dark green and purple in a zigzag pattern, and purple striped glasses.

"And now, it is time to discuss your next assignment: group projects," Gaius announced at the end of the lecture. There were a few scattered groans and shifts of disapproval.

"What is this, primary school?" a disgruntled student complained.

"Now now, calm down. Some interaction will do you youngsters some good. Each pair…which I'll be assigning…" More groans, "will prepare a lecture for the class on different chapters in the legend. You will need to give a full summary, analysis of possible locations in Britain, overview of enchanted objects, motifs, and character analysis. See? Now you are happy you will have a partner. Once I call out your group and give you your chapter, you may leave." He picked up some notebook paper, adjusted his glasses, and proceeded to read.

"McKennen and Lewis," Gaius was notorious for only using students’ last names in class. No one actually knew what anyone's name really was. Arthur, for some reason, enjoyed the anonymity and preferred to keep it that way. It wasn't like anyone socialized outside this room, and it seem more sophisticated, as well as an unspoken inside joke. "You two will study The Quest for the Holy Grail. Jenkins and Montebello, you will be studying The Battle of Camlann. Pendragon and Emrys…" Arthur glanced back to acknowledge his partner. He only knew him by last name and had only seen him in this class. Emrys was quiet type, and very tall with dark black hair and striking blue yes, always clean shaven, and dressed in nice pressed outfits that always seemed slightly too large. The young man was scrawny, with sharp cheekbones that caused contrasting shadows on his pale face. And those ears… they made the man hard to miss. They were large but somehow balanced his narrow face. When their eyes met, Emrys looked away shyly. Great, Arthur thought, a timid geek.

"…You two will be focusing on the legend of Excalibur." The disappointment over his partner lightened when he heard his favorite story called. This assignment should prove to be easy. After their names were called, they both stood and moved to exit the room. They stopped for an awkward moment in the hall and quietly studied each other. Arthur had no idea what to say. He found himself rather stunned by his partner’s lankiness and timid posture, but what was really stunning were that his eyes were vibrant and curious. They took Arthur by surprised and stirred a certain nostalgia in him, like looking into the eyes of a child.

"Rather dodgy of him to just throw an assignment like this at us, eh?" Emrys finally spoke with a smile, his voice surprisingly deep.

"Oh, yes. Not ideal, certainly. It’s a lot to handle, but at least we got the badass story."

Emrys chuckled. Arthur was stunned by how charming he found the sound and smile. "True. Don't know about you, but I am boggled down right now with another paper. But I'll be done with that this weekend. Perhaps we can meet up after next class to discuss schedules?"

"Sounds like a battle plan. I'm not worried. You seem like the brainy type." He wasn't sure if that was an insult or not. But Emrys seemed fine.

"It’s all a clever illusion. But you sit up front, so you clearly have a grasp of the curriculum."

"I better. I've been studying it since I could read, but don't be fooled; I'm pants at projects."

"Perfect! I happen to be quite skilled in that department. Not to say that your lack thereof is a good thing… It just seems like… dare I say 'destiny' that we get paired up."

"Destiny is one way of putting it," Arthur smirked. Perhaps Mr. Ears wouldn't be a terrible partner.

Sensing the awkwardness drawing near once more Arthur took the responsibility of putting this conversation out of its misery. "Well, let the siege begin next week." He put out a hand to shake. Emrys reciprocated with strong fingers. "Glad to have a competent partner in crime."

"Likewise. See you then, Pendragon."

Arthur walked away feeling rather silly and embarrassed by the confrontation. He let the final pangs shutter through him, allowing his face to cool, not sure why the encounter had been so jarring. But he moved on soon, and immersed himself in the comforting solitude in his flat.

Friday was a blessing. It was unbelievable, the toll the term was already taking on Arthur's stress levels. Unfortunately, the end of classes did not mean the week was over. Arthur was locking up his flat with large duffle bag and long cylinder case slung over his shoulder when Morgana appeared. "Where are you going with all that?"

"Fencing team tryouts."

"Good. Glad those lessons, tournaments, and trophies won't go to waste."

"I will sleep so much better " He said flatly. "By the way, what are you doing tonight?"

"Not holding ice to your bruises—again."

"How about a party at a senior manor?"

"I'm in. Get us at eight." She strutted off. Arthur didn't indulge her ordering him around, but it was too late now, and he was too anxious about the tryouts. Fencing had always been his favorite activity. It most likely stemmed from the infatuation with knights and chivalry. The lessons had been a peace offering from Uther not long after his adoption. It was also a healthy way to let out his aggression. He had been a regional champion for several years. The accomplished Albion team was another reason he wanted to come to this university. The coach, Leon Noble, had been an Olympic competitor.

The assigned gym was hidden, having been a storage garage once upon a time. It was long with a shallow ceiling, perfect for fencing strips and scoring machines. When he walked in, a practice was underway, three sets of fencers on strips, sabers clacking and sparring. A lean man in sweats turned away from observing when he saw Arthur and walked over to the unfamiliar face. He had thick sandy hair and a matching beard. Arthur recognized him immediately.

"Hello there! Welcome to Albion's Fencing Club. I'm the coach, Leon." He stretched out a hand to shake. Arthur took it.

"Arthur Pendragon. I'm a first year here. I was hoping to try out."

"Certainly! What style normally?"

"Epee is what I’m most skilled at."

A door to the locker rooms opened. A young man in the full white protective gear, with curly dark hair emerged, adjusting his gloves. "Perfect. You can fight our current Epee champion. Mordred!" He called over. The boy acknowledged his name and walked over. His face was full of youth and looked rather innocent. Arthur could hardly believe he would be a great fighter, but his blue eyes were icy so perhaps his boyish demeanor was deceiving. "This is Arthur, he is here to try out. Fancy sparring with him?"

"If he thinks he can take me," he said, with a contrasting friendly white smile.

"There isn't a doubt in my mind I can," Arthur smiled slyly back.

"First to three wins."

He changed quickly in the locker rooms and went to the only remaining strip. He laced the wire through his sleeve and onto his sword that would determine points achieved from the button at the tip. As a formality, the two shook hands, proceeded to opposite ends of the strip, secured their masks, then waited for the ref to yell, "On guard." They raised their swords to their faces, "Ready?" Arthur moved his left foot back and extended his arm in a fighting stance, "Fence!"

Having never seen Mordred fight, Arthur lingered, bouncing lightly on his toes shaking out his rusty hand. He took an experimental step forward and thrusted. Their swords collided. Mordred took the opportunity to take a stab as well, but Arthur parried, and lunged quickly. He managed a sly hit to Mordred's thigh. A buzzer went off, marking Arthur's first point on the counter.

They moved back to the ends of the strip. Arthur was feeling confident again--it had been a while since he sparred. "Fence!" The ref yelled. Arthur, filled with confidence, lunged. Mordred defended quickly, and Arthur stepped back. Mordred took his chance again, thrusting and missing, bringing Arthur dangerously close to stepping off the strip. As he tried to catch his balance, Mordred lunged again. Arthur hit his sword to knock away the blast, but he didn't react fast enough. He avoided a straight blow to the chest, but let the tip hit him squarely in the shoulder. Point for Mordred.

He heard claps and cheering. The other matches had ended, and all eyes were on him. He took his place at the end and tried to focus, but the pressure from the audience got to him. He and Mordred charged at each other. They clumsily clashed swords, not sure either was hitting something, until he heard a buzzer and whipped his head to the counter. Point for Mordred.

Damn. His patience was running out. Uni had not been a walk in the park so far. He was not about to be bested at his famed sport. His next round was defensive. Mordred thrusted, he dodged. Mordred lunged, he parried. They went on like this, bouncing up and down the strip. Finally Arthur struck, hitting Mordred in the chest. They were now tied. The next point determined if he was on the team.

"On guard? Ready? Fence!" The room was deadly quiet as the tips of their swords hovered. Arthur could not keep still, balancing on his toes, ready to strike or defend. He felt the heat trapped in his mask, and the sweat streaming down his face. He couldn't see Mordred’s face through his mask, but he imagined a smug smile. The thought was enough to put him in motion. He struck first, missing and jumping back before Mordred could use the opening. They stilled again after briefly chasing each other up and down. Arthur was ready to end this. He quickly snapped forward. Mordred did at the same time. There was clashing again, and finally the inevitable buzzer. They both turned.

"Three to three!" They had bot hit each other. "It's a tie!" Leon announced.

They both took off their masks. Fencers never seemed to resemble themselves after matches. Their faces were red, flushed with heat, hair glued to their skin from sweat.

Leon ran over with a large smile. "Welcome to the team, Arthur Pendragon!" The team clapped. Mordred clapped, even if it was somewhat reluctant.

Arthur unplugged his weapon and went for a drink of water from a bottle in his bag. When he got back up from retrieving it, a bright, blonde girl with messy tangle of hair was standing there, waiting for him, also in full gear. "Hi, there!" She greeted. "I'm Elena Gawant, not that you know me! Just introducing myself. I'm just joining the team too. I'm a foil fencer though. But I like epee too! So it’s not like we're enemies or something…" She seemed flustered and awkward.

"Gawant? I think I’ve seen you at tournaments. You're an excellent fencer."

"I am? Oh, thank you! I’ve seen you too. You're the son of Uther Pendragon. Oh sorry if that was creepy! Hard to forget you, is all. I mean your dad! He sponsored half the tournaments. But I didn't forget you either! Oh bollocks..."

"No, don't worry about it. Yes, he did sponsor once I got involved. It was his way of being there for me without actually… well, being there. Had to make the money to sponsor somehow, right?”

"Oh… I am sorry to hear that. Must have been busy inventing a new touch screen." She tried to ease away the tension. "But you won most of them!"

"True. The bruises outnumbered the trophies, however." He put a hand gingerly to his shoulder, feeling a new one grow darker from the match.

"Tell me something I don't know. My mother never approved of me fencing and coming home with dark welts everywhere. Said it wasn't very lady like. But it’s a great stress reliever."

"I have plenty of that too."

"I can help with that. Fancy a match?"

He practiced for another hour at the club before offering his farewells and heading back to the flat. He needed a long shower to ease his aching muscles and wash away the layers of sweat before the party that evening. He had mixed feelings about going. For one, parties were never very enjoyable unless familiar with the guests and had plenty of friends to cling to. On the other hand, perhaps this forced socialization was the kick in the pants he needed. University was supposed to be fun after all. He just needed to find it. After fencing, this would be a great next step. And Gwaine would be there. Oh yeah, and Morgana… shit.

Figuring he should make an attempt to look good, he put on black trousers and a crimson button down shirt. Perhaps the theme of his room was corrupting him. Seeing eight o'clock approaching, he decided he would let his hair air-dry and gambled that it may become a sexy mess, like a model's.

Morgana answered the door in a short black skirt, thigh-high stockings, and a lacy top. Her hair was done in curls, something she only slaved through for special occasions. She tried leaning on the door with a seductive stare. "We are ready to be escorted."

He raised a brow. He knew what this level of commitment to her appearance meant. And it was never good. "Someone seems to think they're getting lucky tonight."

"The place will be swarming with delicious seniors and I'm dying for a bite."

"Just don’t hurt the bloke this time."

“Unheard of, brother dear. I am always gentle.”

“You threw that poor George geek against the wall at the graduation party. He was seeing stars for the rest of the night.”

“That was the most action that geek was going to get for a while. It was an act of kindness.” Arthur rolled his eyes at her, and pitied her future victim.

Gwen trotted up next to her, also dressed for the occasion in a yellow and red pleated jumper. She had also put in more effort to look her best, but would most likely be looking after Morgana all night. "Ready!" She sang.

Their flats were not far from the manors, since they were living in the high end of town. The walk wasn't long and it was easy to spot the house, as there was loud music and a crowd spilling out. From a group hanging out on the front deck, a figure came bolting at them.

"There you are, Pendragon! I was worried you wouldn't show." Gwaine embraced him in a back breaking hug. He then turned his attention to Morgana. "And the lovely Miss Pendragon. By the look of it, you only have evil plans this evening."

"Depends on the perspective. I, for one, plan on a happy ending for the evening."

"Just have mercy on the bloke."

"Maybe we should warn them," Arthur said. "We could be heroes and save some lives."

"Piss off. Gwen and I are going to go find some actual gentlemen to get us some drinks. Try not to make a complete ass of yourself." She sauntered off to make a point. Gwen followed at her heels.

"But Morgana! If you get completely pissed you'll just fall asleep again!" Gwen yelled after her. Arthur rolled his eyes, regretting inviting her.

"They'll be fine. Come on then. I'll introduce you to my mates."

Gwaine's friends were nice enough. They were a bit too much like him though, immature and loud. But they made Arthur laugh and feel welcomed. They invited him to their clubs and meetings and other parties in the future. But sadly, all good things come to an end.

"So, Pendragon," A large, athletic upperclassman who was known as Val said after finishing a bottle of beer, "Any relation to the rich bloke who invented Dragon Software? His name is Pendragon, right? Maybe you have a rich, sexy cousin I could get with." The others laughed in agreement.

"Uther Pendragon, yes. I do have the misfortune of being related to said bloke."

"You're shitting me! Are you his kid?" Arthur nodded. "Bloody hell! You're a millionaire! I know a millionaire!"

Fuck, was all Arthur could think. Not again…

"So, do you think you could get us some free samples? I definitely need a new music player!" Kaye, who had way too much to drink already, slung his arm around Arthur, breathing right in his face. Arthur grimaced. "What are they called, Dragon Shells?"

"Pocket Scales are the music devices . The Shell series is the laptops. And I'm afraid not. They're expensive for us too." He peeled the heavy arm away from his shoulder.

"Well we have to get in on any of the world tours! Or celebrity events!" Val yelled. "Didn't Keira Knightly endorse the last update? God I would love to check out her specs…"

Arthur found himself stuck in the same routine. They tried asking him questions, wanting him to hook them up with new devices, or see how much money they could get out of him. Arthur got quiet again, the brief fun wearing off. Gwaine saw his face drop and took him aside.

“Hey gents, why don’t you go find your own privileged friend to bother. I’m gonna take this one away from you unworthy naves.” Gwaine wrapped an arm around Arthur and walked him to safety.

"Hey, don't listen to these pricks. They're just immature and a bit pissed. I’m sure they genuinely like you."

"Maybe that's my problem: I'm not as pissed as them."

"Great thinking! The kitchen is inside. Grab a couple of beers and that will level out the playing field. We all tend to become intellectual and social equals at the bottom of a bottle."

"I see that philosophy class is working out for you."

Gwaine patted him on the back and returned to the group. Arthur went inside. The music was loud, and there were too many bodies. He was eager to get some kind of booze to lighten his spirits and get back outside. He found the kitchen. The counter was lined with beer bottles. He grabbed one and felt instantly better the first swig.

"Someone is branching out quickly," a voice sudden said next to him. He turned, and was met with the icy stare of Mordred. "First the club and now the party scene? Quiet the social climber, Pendragon."

"No need to get your knickers in a twist. I was invited here by friends. Just trying to have a good time. There's no strip here, no need to fight me."

"Good thing too. I would beat your ass."

"Like you did today?"

"Don't sound so high and mighty, Pendragon. I know your type. Fucking rich kid whose dad took care of everything and thinks he can always come out on top. Meanwhile some of us actually have to work hard. I have earned my ranking, and I won't let a spoiled bastard who has no real skill waltz in and take whatever he wants."

"This is a big misunderstanding. I am not trying to take any title of yours. I just want to fence. I have done it my whole life, and trained hard at it. And I earned my place on the team. My father has nothing to do with my life."

"Yeah, sure. You just happen to win all the tournaments he sponsored. Well you may be used to getting everything on a silver platter, but don't expect me to bow down. I'll see you on the strip."

"You're gonna wish you didn't right after I'm done with you."

Mordred only glared. He didn't turn away until he rounded a corner and was out of sight. Arthur let out angry sigh he had pent up. Hundreds of miles away from his father, and Uther still mucked up his life. He knew he hadn't been at the party long, but between Gwaine's group and Mordred, he was ready to leave.

Distracted by his anger, Arthur whipped around quickly, determined to rush out the door. But his escape was halted as he ran into to something… or someone, rather. His arm flew up, causing the beer to spill out and pour all over the unfortunate soul that he bumped into.

The bottle rolled onto the floor. Arthur bent down to retrieve it, too angry to speak. So the other person did. "Sorry! I didn't see you there."

Arthur stood up, calming down. "No no, my fault. I… Emrys?" His classmate stood before him in a tight shirt and jeans, covered in dark beer. The sight of him outside class shocked Arthur, like he didn't think the man existed beyond that room. But here he was, with a goofy smile on his face.

"Well this wasn't the best way to start off our partnership."

"Shit, I am so sorry. I wasn't paying attention."

"Not a problem. Not a party until something breaks. Or spills. Whatever." He shrugged. He then glanced at a taller man next to him. He had brown hair that went past his ears and scruffy beard. "Pardon my rudeness. This is my dorm mate, Lance. This is one of my classmates in Arthurian Lit, Pendragon."

"Pleasure, Pendragon." He shook his hand.

"My beer didn't claim your shirt as well did it?"

"No, I was safe from the line of fire. We were about to get another drink…"

"I think I've had enough." Emrys laughed, pinching the middle of his shirt and stretching it out to keep the dampness away from his body. "Perhaps this is a sign I should get going. This is pretty uncomfortable."

"I feel really awful. I actually live up the street. You can stop by and take a shirt, I owe you that much."

"Oh no, I couldn't possibly…"

"We'll be seeing a ton of each other soon, we might as well start now. And then you'll know where I live so we can meet up for the project. Or you can plot a crafty revenge scheme to sabotage me in my sleep. I give you full permission." Arthur also thought this would be a great excuse that would allow him to leave with dignity and not get harassed by Gwaine or Morgana for being a wet blanket.

"There you are!" Gwen came running up to Arthur. "Morgana has passed out."

"Already?"

"Please, I need to get her home now. Before something happens to her."

"I kinda promised my friend here that I would clean him up after assaulting him with my drink. And I really don't fancy carrying my drunk hussy of a sister."

"I can help," Lance suddenly chimed in. "I needed a reason to get out of here anyway since these two are leaving." Lance smiled sincerely at Gwen. Her face went blank before being taken over with a huge flirtatious smile.

"That's so kind of you! I owe you forever for this. I'm Gwen."

"Lance." He kissed her hand. She giggled. "Where is your friend?"

"She’s over here. Thank you so much! You are free from your duties." She smiled at Arthur.

"Thank God! We better hurry, Emrys. They live in the same building, and I really don't want to be around when that beast wakes up. She's a puker."

"I decided to borrow this X-Men shirt," Emrys emerged from Arthur's room after he pointed out the drawer with his casual shirts. It was about two sizes too big for him, but it was better then the foul smelling beer stains.

"Dear God, that's embarrassing," Arthur had not thought that he should maybe pick out a shirt for him so Emrys wouldn't see his hidden dark secrets, like his childhood super heroes, that he may or may not still keep up with, depending who's asking.

"Bite your tongue. The X-Men were badass, and still are."

"Somehow that does not help my shame. Beer? Figured since I robbed you of an alcoholic social scene I should try to make up for it." He handed him a bottle, cold from his fridge.

"Well, if you insist." He accepted it with a smile and they both took sips in silence. Arthur was calmed by the lack of loud ambience they had left behind. Emrys seemed like a nice enough bloke, and a quiet Friday night was never a bad thing. "This is a really nice place. Much better than on campus."

"I suppose it's alright. Father insisted."

"Damn, you really had to bite the bullet, eh?" Emrys laughed. "You must be well off then."

"What, you haven't heard of Uther Pendragon? Founder of Dragon Technologies?" Arthur rolled his eyes and used a mocking posh tone. Emrys would have figured it out by now anyway, just like everyone else.

"Oh, Dragon Technologies? I have heard of them, but I don't really keep up with that kind of stuff. I'm sorta bookish. I am rubbish with electronics. As a matter of fact…" He pulled out his cell phone, "…my mobile is dying as we speak. I can't even charge a bloody cellular, I'm that bad.

"You can use mine. It’s in the drawer of the bedside table." Arthur gestured toward it.

"I think I've abused your accommodations enough."

"Nonsense. Besides, your friend could call at any moment saying Morgana is holding him hostage."

"Thanks again." Emrys went back into the bedroom.

Arthur went into the kitchen to try and find some food for his guest. He took a moment to overcome how stunned he felt. Emrys had no idea who he was, and wasn't at all flabbergasted to find out. Arthur was by no means arrogant enough to think that everyone knew his family's name and would worship the ground he walked on, but the feeling, this freedom, it was entirely new. He smiled, honored by Emrys' naivety, and very thankful he invited his partner back to his flat.

Arthur was walking back out to the table with a bowl of crisps when Emrys emerged slowly holding something. Arthur felt like he had been kicked in the stomach when he saw it was his children's book on Arthurian legend. He forgot it was in the bedside table with the charger, and possibly other embarrassing things. It was a special part of his past, it was priceless to him and it was humiliating. Emrys stared at it with an intense look.

"You are finding all my secrets," Arthur tried not to sound cross at this breech of privacy. Emrys looked up, the innocent smile gone with his face. His brows were furrowed, and his mouth was gaping.

"I know this book. I used to read it as a kid." He put down his beer and opened the crusty old pages carefully, as if it was something precious. "It was the first book I learned to read." Arthur remained still and confused. There was an ominous feeling in the silence as the boy flipped through the pages. Arthur stared, he didn't know what to say as something began stirring in him. Something familiar. "My childhood friend… it was his. At the orphanage…"

Orphanage…?

Arthur's heart skipped a beat.

"Funny, his name was Arthur, like the King…"

He felt like he got hit by a train. Something heavy rushed through his system, and he felt it spread through his veins and pulsate through him. What he was feeling… it was a memory.

He struggled for his voice, waiting for this shock that slammed into his brain to fade away and unblock his senses. When he could finally speak, there was only one word he could say.

"…Merlin…?"

The boy looked up. "Arthur…?"

Arthur dropped the bowl. It crashed to the floor the same time the book did.

He rushed over to Emrys. Arthur took his narrow face into his hands and stared into Emrys' eyes, looking for something he recognized. His fingers brushed over his hair and grabbed at his shoulders. Emrys just stared, his eyes getting wider and glossy.

Merlin…

Arthur couldn't deny the prickling in his own eyes or the heat in his throat. It was Merlin. It was his Merlin from all those years ago. Those were his deep blue eyes, his messy black hair. And those ears! How could forget them? But he was so much taller and so thin and, well, shockingly manly, not to mention handsome, more so than he ever would have imagined. But still, Arthur held no doubt that this was his Merlin. He thought it strange that he could have ever forgotten what Merlin looked like in that moment. It all came back vividly. Merlin…

In the nostalgic rush, Arthur slid his hands from Merlin's shoulders to his back, tugging him into a tight embrace, hiding his tearful eyes. It was like the immensity of the memories were weighing on his body, pushing on his skin and escaping in his tears.

He heard Merlin's choked voice, "It's really you…" He was crying too.

Arthur buried his face in Merlin's neck for a moment, mostly to wipe away the tears before Merlin saw them. The embrace became too much. They parted, but Arthur kept a firm grip on Merlin's shoulders, as if when he let go, Merlin would be lost again. Likewise, Merlin kept his hands on Arthur’s upper arms. The only sign of his emotion were his damp eyes. He had hidden his tears as well. Not that it made a difference. They both knew.

"Look at you…" Arthur said. He was suddenly inclined to lightly stroke Merlin's face, not thinking about how weird that may have come across, "You're…tall! And you haven't even grown into your ears!"

Merlin laughed. "What about you? I seem to remember some pudge here." He poked Arthur’s stomach. The assault was enough for them to break away laughing, Arthur protecting his gut. "And you're fit as hell!"

"Oh come off it! You didn't turn out half bad yourself. I can't believe… Merlin!" He exclaimed again, rushing at him for another embrace. His force was too eager, and they both toppled to the ground, breaking each other’s fall. They laughed on the floor for a moment, still basking in the miracle, drunk with disbelief.

"After all this time…" Merlin sighed as they came down from their euphoric high. "I thought I would never see you again. I gave up a few weeks after you left…" The mood became more somber.

"How long were you there after?"

"A little over a month. My mum was a single woman, adopted me after her husband died, so she didn't get a chance to have children."

"Is she nice?"

"She's spectacular. Her name is Hunith. She didn't have much, and worked very hard to support us both. For a while, I couldn't believe she thought she needed another burden in her life, but we were always so happy together, so it was never an issue. After a while, I just called her mum, and it stuck."

There was a reflective silence. Merlin's story had not been what Arthur expected. It was simple but sweet. Arthur was genuinely happy, and maybe a bit jealous.

"What about you?" He turned to Arthur. "You made out like a bandit eh? Adopted by a millionaire! No wonder you never came back…" He drifted off.

"I wouldn't say that…" No, that's not what happened at all. "Uther wasn't someone I’ve ever wanted to call a father. Sure he’s loaded, but God he is an ass. And never around. Plus I got a sister… ew."

"Oh come on, she can't be that bad."

"Where were you half an hour ago? She passed out and left poor Gwen and your friend to carry her!"

"I bet you were never lonely."

"Unfortunately not!" Arthur managed to say with a laugh. There was some truth to Merlin's argument. He and Morgana didn’t get along much, but they agreed on the most important thing: Uther was the worst human being to crawl the earth.

They still lay awkwardly on the floor together. Merlin glanced up to the fallen book by his head and grabbed it, opening it again. "God, I missed this book. I still remember every word," He opened to the first page. "'Once upon a time, King Arthur ruled the great kingdom of Camelot…'"

Arthur rolled over, supporting his head on his arm. "Glad to see you learned to read better."

"I certainly hope so! I am a Literature Major after all. Thanks to you. You taught me to read."

"Wow. I had no idea I made such am impact."

"What about you? What are you studying here?"

"Business, predictably. And computer science." He made a face, like he had a bad taste in his mouth. "Have to take over the family business and all."

"That’s not all bad. You have a bright future ahead of you."

"A future, sure…" He zoned off. Merlin continued flipping through the pages. Arthur studied him again, not quite accepting the sight as reality. The scene was like they were kids again, lying on the floor late at night, Merlin holding the book with bright, childlike eyes, soaking in he knowledge. Except the man before him wasn't a child. Merlin was tall and well built, had combed hair, a slight stubble. The oversized shirt had somehow become rucked up in their tumble revealing pale skin and dark hair on his stomach. This was a man in this new but familiar scene. And handsome. Arthur seemed to hone in on every little detail then, trying to take it all until it became real.

"You kept the name?" Arthur inquired.

"What? Merlin?" Arthur nodded. "Of course! Why wouldn't I?"

"A bit silly don't you think? We were kids after all."

"I chose my name. It’s the name you gave me. Of course I kept it. And all the bullies were worth it!" He giggled. Arthur felt a warmth bloom inside him. This was Merlin, his Merlin. The one who talked to him first, who read with him at night, who cuddled next to him in his bed and played with him outside, and who cried when he left. The boy he named, and who kept the name, just because it was Arthur who gave it to him.

Merlin finished the book and closed it, smiling from cheek to cheek. Suddenly Arthur felt guilty, realizing it took over ten years to find that smile again. Apparently, he had impacted Merlin's entire life, from his name to his studies, while all Arthur had was the fleeting memories.

"I'm sorry it took this long," He said after a short silence. Merlin looked at him with a blank face. "For us to…reconnect. It shouldn't have, and this was rather… informal." He didn't know what else to call it.

Merlin looked away, studying the cover. "S'all right. Shit happens… Things worked out eh?"

"More or less. And now we even have homework together. Can't get much better than that."

"Nope. I am perfectly content with this arrangement."

There was a knock on the door. It made them both aware that they had not moved from their position on the floor, dangerously close to one another, the sides of their bodies touching. They shared an awkward glance and scrambled off the floor. Arthur ran to the door.

Lance stood before him, looking disheveled and worn out. Merlin joined him at the door. "What the hell happened to you Lance?"

"She woke up…" he sighed. "I couldn’t really understand what she was saying behind the slur. But I think she was hitting on me, because for some reason I was feeling really uncomfortable.”

"Tried to warn you mate." Arthur said.

"Well, if you cleaned up Merlin, I would like to trade him back now."

"That hardly seems like a fair trade."

"I'll grab my things," Merlin ducked back into the flat.

"Thanks for the help though, Lance. You are a brave soul." Arthur said, shaking his hand.

"It wasn't all bad. But Gwen certainly owes me."

Merlin appeared back in the door. "Right, then. We'll be off. Thanks for the shirt, Arthur."

"No trouble at all." Merlin looked hesitant, but whatever he was worried about, he got over, and embraced Arthur once more, in a much more masculine hug. "Great to see you again, Arthur." He said in Arthur's ear, sending shivers down his spine.

"Likewise, Merlin." They separated. "I'll see you soon though. Lots of legend to cover."

"We'll meet up soon. Till then." Merlin waved. They both left, and Arthur slowly closed the door. For once, he didn’t find comfort in his silent flat. Arthur cleaned up the food and bowl on the floor, then the bottles, and finally picked up the book, staring at it for a while. He had never been so happy that he kept it. It all felt strange, now that it was hitting him. Merlin… he had not seen him in years, he was only just dreaming about him a few days ago. And the memories grew dimmer everyday. Now here the man was, back in his life, thanks to that silly children's book.

Arthur did not know what he was feeling. He was happy of course, but something else, something foreboding; he felt as though he had to face something he had been avoiding. But perhaps it didn't matter now. This reunion could only mean good things, right?

After his eventful day, Arthur decided to call it a night and got ready for bed. Before he turned out his light, he made sure The Tale of King Arthur of Camelot was sitting on top of his bedside table, no longer hidden.

"Quick Merlin! The Dragon has me trapped!" Arthur was flinging a long stick at a wide bush, his efforts futile.

"I'll save you, m'lord!" Merlin tried not to trip over the large sheet he was wearing as a cloak. He stretched out his hand toward the imaginary beast. "Fur-bears!"

"Fur-bears?"

"That's the spell he uses in the book."

"It's forbairn silly. And now I’m dead ‘cause you couldn't beat the dragon." Arthur made gagging noises and fell to the ground dramatically. "Argh!"

"Don't worry, m'lord. I can heal you. I'll make a potion." Arthur snuck a peek with one eye and saw Merlin scrambling around, picking leaves, berries and petals. He knelt before his fallen king.

"Here, eat this."

"Merlin, I am not putting those in my mouth. Plus, I am dead! I can't eat. Sprinkle it on me or something." Merlin tossed the concoction onto Arthur's chest, which was covered in foil to serve as his armor, making faint clicking and crunching sounds as each ingredient hit the shiny material. "Heal!" Merlin commanded his magic.

Arthur rose. "I'm alive! You saved my life Merlin. You are the greatest warlock in the land."

Merlin was beaming.

"What's all this?" Miss Catrina's voiced caused them to jump. "My garden! You picked the petals off my tulips!"

"Run Merlin! It's the evil troll!"

"Come here you meddlesome brats!" They laughed as she chased them back into the house.

"You're positive I don't need to call a doctor?" Arthur decided to go to Morgana and Gwen's flat the following day to check up on his sister. It was past three in the afternoon, and Morgana still had not gotten out of bed. He knew she was one for a lie in whenever she could, but this was ridiculous. Arthur was getting worried. And that took a lot of effort to do.

"Don't worry," Gwen insisted as she styled her hair several different ways in the mirror. "She normally sleeps half the day anyway. The added alcohol has just intensified her sleep pattern. She is basically regenerating."

"How much did she even drink?"

"When I eventually found her, after losing her for the third time, I caught her in the midst of a shot of something. Some boys were cheering her on."

"Dear God… She is such an inconsiderate nuisance. I can't even… hang on. Why are you getting all pampered again?"

"Well, I may have promised to go out with Lance… You know, since I owe him…" She looked nervous, and changed her hair to yet another up-do.

"Tonight? That was fast. He must have fallen for you hard. And you didn't even need Morgana's mini-skirt. Fancy that."

"He is a gentleman Arthur. Perhaps that is something you should study up on since you abandoned me with your twat of a sister… oh, fuck it!" She gave up on her hair and let it stay down, framing her face.

"I have no regrets. And it all worked out for the best. You got a date!"

"What did you get? A night of peace?"

"Actually, if you would believe it, by pure chance I found an old friend. From the orphanage."

She whirled around to look at him. Her face seemed to be fighting against any kind of happy expression, considering a smile was never appropriate for the word 'orphanage'. But it was conflicting news.

He decided to spare her from accidentally saying the wrong thing. "The bloke I spilled my beer on. We used to be mates years ago. Had no idea until he recognized that old kid's book. Happy accident, eh?"

"Arthur that's…"

"Impossible? Unbelievable? Destiny?"

"I was going to say tragic." Arthur stared at her quizzically. "I didn't mean for that to sound so dramatic!" Gwen defended, trying not to get too flustered like she normally does. "It's just… You haven't seen each other in years. And I didn't think that was a time you would want to remember. I just hope this reunion doesn't bring up unwanted memories or something."

He glanced away from her. She was wrong. He wanted the opposite. He wanted those memories back. He wanted to remember being happy with his friend instead of unhappy with his family. But it still hurt to think about. They had been apart so long, and Merlin seemed to remember so well. Their brief friendship reshaped Merlin's whole life, and Arthur couldn't even manage to find him until now.

Perhaps he was over thinking. That was all in the past. And they were together again. Of course, that was a lifetime ago and they were different people now. There was a small pang of panic in Arthur's stomach. What if they couldn't be close again? What if time had changed them too much and their bond was shattered forever?

Maybe this would turn out to be tragic.

"I just want you to be okay." Gwen was suddenly sitting next to him on the couch. Her soft palm rested on his hand and gave a reassuring squeeze. Gwen was always good at comforting him. He smiled at her, grateful.

"I guess we'll see." He meekly responded. He decided there was no use dwelling on the past, or even the future. He would take everything one step at a time with Merlin, and hope for the best.

They both turned simultaneously when they heard heavy footsteps and a groan come from behind them. Morgana's hair stuck up in every possible direction. Her heavy make up was smeared and she was still dressed in her outfit from the party. She rubbed at her eyes and face, still clearly not ready to be sober.

"It's alive!" Arthur gasped. His surprise was pretty genuine.

"Fuck off," as all Morgana could muster as she dragged herself to the kitchen for a drink.

Reality felt like dreaming now. After the events of the weekend, Arthur felt topsy turvy. He was on auto pilot through his morning classes, and felt like a bystander rather than a participant in his current conversation with Gwaine and Percy. They had given him hell for disappearing at the party, but forgave him when he promised to buy them a pint that night. He sat on top of a table outside with his elbows leaning on his knees while Gwaine- animated as ever- reenacted a brawl that happened at the party long after Arthur had left while Percy just chuckled with his arms crossed.

"…And then he started coming at me! Scared for my life, I was! But I reminded him, if it weren't for me covering his arse at the last meet, he would've been kicked off the footie team for sure. Real angry tosser, that one. It'll get him in trouble soon enough."

"I say the sooner we have him off our team the better. Surely there’s a fresher 'round who can replace him." Percy said.

"You should try out mate." Gwaine said, nudging Arthur's shoulder. "You didn't completely suck back in secondary. Best way to get into the social scene I say. And it ain't a bad way to pick up a bird or two."

"Your priorities are finely attuned as ever, Gwaine. But I already committed myself to the fencing team here." Arthur informed him.

"You're still a swash buckler? How chivalrous."

"Have you met Mordred Drew then?" Percy asked.

"I have actually. Fenced him to get on the team."

"Did you beat ‘im?"

"I'm on the team aren't I?"

"He is a notorious sore loser. And a first rate arsehole. Thinks he is so much better than everyone else ‘cause his family helped found Albion University or whatever. Their linage goes way back 'round here."

"Thinks it makes him a lord of the land or something." Gwaine chimed in.

"Well, technically we tied." Arthur informed them.

Gwaine made a pained face, "Ooo, that's gonna be a kick to his ego. Atta boy! You're my hero!"

"Speaking of heroes," a familiar voice said from behind Arthur. He turned to see Merlin standing there, with the X-Men shirt folded and pressed nicely in his hands while a mischievous smirk spread across his face.

"Your stealth skills are rubbish." Arthur said, hiding his embarrassment behind a laugh as he grabbed the shirt from Merlin’s hands.

"I remember when you bought that shirt," Gwaine exclaimed as soon as he caught a glimpse of the shirt before Arthur shoved it into his bag. "You said it was gonna be vintage one day."

"And it will! Just you wait, I'll sell this for thousands years from now."

"Not that you need it." Percy gave him a playful shove.

"Gwaine, Percy, this is Merlin."

"Pleasure." Merlin shook their hands.

"So this is the bloke that stole you from the party," Gwaine said.

"Nonsense. He saved me from the embarrassment of reeking like cheap uni beer. He's my hero too," Merlin replied.

"Ha! Hear that Gwaine?" Arthur smirked as he looked at Gwaine for a response.

"Fair enough. I won't make fun of you for escaping, but you'll both have to stick around at the next one."

"Deal," they both said glancing at each other, shocked they spoke in unison. Deja vu crept over Arthur.

They used to do that all the time when they were kids…

There it was again, the memories flooding back. He saw the realization in Merlin's eyes too. It was like they were still connected. Their gazes locked for a few extra, awkward seconds. Merlin broke the tension.

"Er… Anyway, I didn't mean to interrupt. Just wanted to return your shirt, but also ask when you'd like to meet up for that project."

"Diligence isn't welcome here." Percy joked.

"Unfortunately, Arthur is actually responsible." Gwaine said.

"You should try it out sometime, Gwaine. Can't have you bumming off your parents all your life," Arthur responded.

Gwaine put his hands up in defeat with a smirk. He turned to Percy to start their own conversation and stepped away so Arthur could schedule.

"Would you believe he is actually the son of a successful corporate lawyer?"

"So he's well off too then?" Merlin asked.

"Financially speaking, sure. But no other redeeming qualities."

"Heard that!" Gwaine yelled.

"Anyway," Arthur said, trying to appear serious. "I'm free tomorrow after our class with Gaius."

"Same here."

"Okay, so um… My place?"

"Well, I know where you live." Merlin said, a forced laugh bubbling from his lips. "That was actually kinda creepy."

"Not to worry, you're not a suspicious character. I know you after all…" The sentence kind of stumbled out of his mouth, making his heart rate increase and embarrassment flood through him.

But it seemed to cheer Merlin right up, because a wide smile spread across his face. "Assuming you haven't changed," Arthur added.

"I'll let you be there judge of that. So we’ll reconvene tomorrow after class?"

"If you can tolerate me that long."

"I'll bring beer just in case." They laughed. It felt so familiar and comforting to them. "See you tomorrow then."

"Yeah, tomorrow. Later, Merlin."

He waved and watched as Merlin walked away.

I know you, he repeated in his head, the words echoing from when he said them moments ago.

The house had never been so quiet. It was as if the approaching storm scared off all signs of life, both indoors and out. Since they couldn't play outside, the two boys sat in an empty bedroom, trying to perfect their pillow fort. They had pushed two twin beds closer together, cushioned the floor of the space between them with pillows, and draped an extra sheet across the gap. The sheet kept collapsing, though, and they couldn't find much beyond a few stuffed toys to weigh it down.

"Merlin, your teddy bear won't be heavy enough either." Arthur said.

"Nah-uh! He’s strong. He can hold it. And besides, I’m putting Peter the rabbit with him too. That will be heavy enough."

Arthur shook his head with disapproval, but couldn't help but smile at Merlin's determination. He indulged in Merlin’s inefficient plans, and added his stuffed dragon to the other side.

The dark and muggy afternoon silence was shattered with a loud cracking from the sky. Bright lights flashed from the clouds to join the rumble. The storm sounded like it was directly over them.

When Arthur looked away from the window after seeing the tail end of the lightning bolt, Merlin was no longer on top of the other bed. He looked around frantically, afraid the thunder somehow stole his friend.

"Merlin?" No response. He stumbled off the bed to check the other side.

A pair of feet stuck out from the gap on the floor that made their fort. Arthur crouched down to see Merlin burying his face in the pillows and covering his ears. "Merlin…" Arthur reached out a hand to shove Merlin's shoulder, but the younger boy retreated at the first touch.

Merlin was trembling.

"You're scared of thunder?"

Merlin peered over his shoulder. "No…"

"Come on Merlin, don't be a baby."

"I'm not a baby! It's just…loud."

There was another crackle, then BOOM from the sky.

Merlin jumped and crawled closer to Arthur to cling to his arm. He heaved a heavy breath, clearly trying not to cry. Arthur got nervous whenever Merlin acted like this. He was never sure what to do. The only solution seemed to be to try and calm him down.

"We'll be safer in the fort," he told Merlin. Merlin's eyes glistened back, looking hopeful. They both crawled in and huddled close. They waited in silence as Merlin's breathing returned to normal.

In the distance, they heard another faded rumble of thunder. Merlin's eyes frantically looked around again as he clutched at Arthur. "Hear that?" Arthur said. "It’s quieter. That means the storm is farther away." He felt Merlin relax.

"Where's it going?"

"Dunno. I must have scared it off."

Suddenly, the lights flickered and shut off. At the same moment, the stuffed toys holding the sheet gave way, and it enveloped Arthur and Merlin. Arthur screamed before fighting his way out of the sheet.

Once safely out, he turned back to see Merlin peering out with a smirk he had most likely learned from Arthur.

"Who's the baby now?"

After the first meeting they agreed to meet after their next class at the end of the week. But no progress had been made academically speaking, so they agreed to meet up the next day. Then the next. Then the next.

They spent every day together for the next two weeks. Very little of it was spent doing what they were supposed to be working on. There was just far too much to talk about. They had to make up for over fourteen years of separation. Fourteen years of secrets and passions and fears and thoughts and concerns. Fourteen years of laughs and smiles. Of crappy films and crappy food, inside jokes, weird quirks, and bad habits. Fourteen years of compassion and support and friendship.

It all happened so naturally. Too naturally, Arthur thought.

The strange thing about it was that Arthur didn’t think it was moving too fast or too suddenly. It just felt so normal, so right. It was as if they picked up where they left off. Like the gap never happened. Like it was just the day after Arthur was stolen from Merlin, and everything returned to normal.

But Arthur still felt haunted: haunted by the image of the young pale boy screaming and banging his hands against the glass, haunted by the guilt of never actually finding him, and worse, for forgetting him.
Merlin remembered everything. The games they played, the jokes they had, the things they liked, the books they read. Their friendship had shaped Merlin and made him who he was. The memories came back gradually as Merlin relived them. They would even drift into Arthur's mind of their own volition sometimes. Perhaps he was being too harsh. Merlin was always smiling when they were together, and never seemed like he let the dark cloud that loomed over them, filled with the unspoken loneliness they felt without each other rain on him.

They were just happy to be together again. And truly, Arthur had not been this happy in a long time. Merlin just inserted himself into his life more and more. All his inside jokes were with Merlin. His inbox on his phone was filled with texts from Merlin. His afternoons were split between fencing practice and Merlin. Of course Gwaine or Lance or Percy, or even Morgana would be there too. But with Merlin, Arthur just had tunnel vision, as if he was the only one in the room.

And it didn't strike him as odd until that Friday evening at the pub.

The Rising Sun was claimed in the holy name of Albion University every weekend by the students, as well as many of the days of the week if anything exciting was happening. And often when nothing exciting was happening.

Of course, a college bar wasn’t exactly the classiest place, but it was always fun with the right people. And Merlin, Lance, Gwaine, and Percy were the right people. In the few weeks they had been at uni, they had all managed to claim a regular booth that was known as theirs. It made Arthur really feel like he found somewhere he belonged.

"Arthur!" a feminine voice yelled from across the pub. It was very crowded, and there were few tables available. After crooking his neck in a few different directions to see around the mass of people, Arthur was able to make out Gwen waving at him and squeezing between bodies with Lance in tow.

"Lance! I was wondering where you'd got to," Merlin said.

"Sorry, mate. Mind if we squeeze in? Full house in here."

"Sorry, love," Gwaine said. "Bachelors only. Ditch the bird and you're more than welcome."

"I have a friend from my European Architecture class joining later. She’s single, and rather pretty…" Gwen said in a suggestive voice.

"Squeeze in over here!" Gwaine pointed to the space next to him in the booth, and they all squeezed him.

"Forgot to mention; Morgana will be joining us later." Gwen said.

"Oh good Lord… I thought she had something due for her Political Science class next week," Arthur groaned.

"She does, but she is a master procrastinator."

"Well, I am going to need to get extra pissed tonight. Heading to the bar." Arthur had just finished his first beer before everyone else, and he planned on a few more before the night was done. Merlin was sitting at the edge of the booth, so he needed to get up for Arthur could scoot out.

"I might as well get some too," Merlin said, since he was getting up.

"Really had to twist your arm there, eh Merls?"

"They even have nicknames for each other now?" Percy smirked.

"We need to have a talk about taking things slow, Arthur." Gwaine winked at him.

"Oi, knock it off," Arthur said, semi joking, semi serious.

"Oh Arthur, it's sweet. You two are like a Charles Dickens novel or something. Reconnect years later, lots of tragedy…" Gwen said.

"And lots of unnecessary exposition in-between," Lance finished for her.

"Meanwhile, they are finishing each other’s sentences," Merlin pointed out.

"Huh, fancy that. Pot, meet kettle," Arthur said.

"Oh, go get the booze!" Gwaine shouted.

Merlin and Arthur fought their way to an empty space at the bar and ordered their drinks. When they arrived, Merlin asked, "Wanna head back?"

"It was getting crowded over there. Let’s enjoy oxygen a little while longer." Arthur took a large gulp from his bottle.

"Oh, thank God." Merlin sighed with relief and started on his drink as well.

They chatted as usual, and soon Arthur was on his third bottle for the night, and was starting to feel it. But it felt freeing and relaxing. Merlin was a lightweight, so he stopped after his second, but was still great company.

Once Arthur started getting giddier, Merlin asked with an innocent smile, the way only Merlin can, "So is Morgana really to blame for the getting wasted thing?"

Merlin probably hadn’t meant it as a serious question, but it made Arthur feel bad nonetheless, because he really wasn't giving his half sister enough credit.

"Well, she isn't the only reason. Economics is another good one."

"But Morgana can't be that bad. I mean, she is your sister."

"Half sister." Merlin seemed to retreat at the comment, thinking he touched a nerve. Arthur felt like utter shit when he saw that face. He didn't mean to snap. Plus, Merlin was right; Morgana wasn't that bad.

"We don't agree on everything, but we do on important things," he tried to patch it up. Merlin looked up again with genuine interest. He always seemed to light up with curiosity when Arthur talked about his new life. Arthur always reciprocated with fascination as well. But he knew he saw some hurt in Merlin's smile or mannerisms when the topic came up. Not that he could blame Merlin when he felt the same hurt when they shared stories of life after the orphanage. It was painful, knowing they weren't there for such important parts of each other's lives.

"Like what things?"

"Things like… well… Like how animal print is never a good idea… or Jane Austen should never be forced upon anyone unless it’s for guerilla warfare…" Merlin laughed. "And that Uther is a terrible father."

That part came out suddenly and silenced Merlin. Arthur isn't sure why he said it, but he realized it was true. The basis of Arthur and Morgana's alliance was distain for Uther Pendragon. They could argue until they were blue in the face, but when Arthur heard Morgana crying alone in her room after a discussion with Uther, Arthur would rush to her side and embrace her until they found something to yell about, and forget that the man had ever hurt either one of them. They didn't hate him as a father entirely. He provided for them and looked out for them. They grew up blessed enough to receive everything they ever wanted. But as a human being, he lacks compassion, tact, and selflessness.

"Arthur, don't say that. I mean, I never had a father, but I did secretly want one. I never told mum… it would have killed her. Besides, there were orphans we left behind who would kill to be adopted by someone like…"

"Merlin…" Arthur interrupted. His face was stern, and silenced Merlin more than the sound of his own name. Arthur knew Merlin was right, but he didn't know the truth, and Arthur wanted to tell him. He never liked to talk about it, and maybe it was the booze, or maybe just Merlin's concerned face, but he needed to tell him.

"Uther didn't adopt me. Well he did, but… it was complicated. He… Uther is actually my father. My biological father."

Arthur stayed focused on Merlin eyes, which seemed to be darting around Arthur’s face, searching for something. His mouth hung open, clearly waiting for the right words to pour out. But there were none.

"I was… I am the product of his affair. Some poor woman on the side he met on a business trip, even though he was married to Morgana's mother. My mother… she died giving birth to me. So I was left at the orphanage. Then when Morgana's mother passed, he hunted me down and adopted me or reclaimed me or whatever." Arthur’s sentences and thought process were deteriorated. It was a difficult subject. The sequence of events was confusing, but also just full of so much pain. Merlin just stared at him with a blank expression, but it looked like he was hurting for Arthur too. Arthur knew it was pathetic to complain of his rich daddy coming back for him. But it just still stung with betrayal.

"And the bastard… he didn't even tell me. Not for a few years. Morgana didn't know either. We found out together. And somehow, banded together after that. Oldest story in the book…" He tried to laugh, but couldn't, neither could Merlin. Arthur was freakishly pleased by the horrified look on Merlin’s face. He just needed someone to understand. He wasn't a spoiled little boy who had daddy issues because he didn't get what he wanted for his birthday. He was a motherless child who was lied to and forgotten, and only found out after it was already too late.

"Arthur…" Merlin finally managed to say. His hand reached out. Arthur watched it slowly, not sure what it was supposed to do exactly. But Merlin looked like he actually understood, and more importantly, like he cared.

His hand rested briefly on Arthur's thigh, until Morgana appeared from nowhere and looped an arm around Arthur's shoulder, and Merlin's arm retreated before the rush of adrenaline had more time to climb up Arthur's body from the mere touch.

"There you are brother. Trying to avoid me?" She smirked. Arthur quickly pulled himself out of that dark emotional hole he had dug, and tried to equip himself with some kind of wit to lash back at Morgana.

"Yes, actually," was all he could manage. "I haven't had enough to drink to make me more tolerant, and I’m sure you haven't had enough to turn you from a toad to a… well, couldn't be a princess… "

"Clearly you have had enough to drink. Get Merlin to take you home, you tosser. I'm taking your place at the booth. That Percy bloke looks delicious."

"Oh God, don't make me vomit. Merlin, evacuate." They booth stood and intended to leave.

Morgana spun on her heels and was heading for the booth when Merlin called out, "Hey Morgana!" she turned. "Next time, your pint's on me."

It took her a moment, but she slowly smiled. It was one of her real smiles, too. Not a wicked or sly smirk. She waved at him with a nod, and continued over. Arthur was taken aback by the exchange, until Merlin woke him up. "Let's get you home."

Even though the offer was for Morgana, it was Arthur who felt touched but Merlin's action. Merlin was thanking Morgana for him.

Outside was not as cozy as the pub. There was more wind compared to when they entered. It was also darker than it should be at night. They looked up to see that the moon was completely blocked by giant dark clouds.

"Is that a storm?" Arthur squinted through his tipsy haze to look at the sky. As if it wanted to respond, there was a loud crack from the sky, followed by a bright bolt, and finally a loud boom of thunder.

As the thunder faded, Arthur heard the tail end of Merlin swear. "-Fucking hell!" He cringed, and his eyes darted wildly up at the sky. His chest was heaving.

And he suddenly had gotten a lot closer to Arthur.

"Merlin?" Merlin looked at him, a thin sheen of sweat already forming on his brow and above his lips. "Thunder…" Arthur pieced it together out loud, remembering slowly. "You were scared of thunder." He glanced up at the clouds and back at Merlin with wide eyes. "Are you still scared of thunder storms?"

"I- I, uh…" Merlin avoided looking at him. But the warning crackle began again, followed by an even louder boom of thunder. This time Merlin practically jumped. Instinctively, his palm clasped tightly around Arthur's upper arm and he squeezed tightly. As if the thunder was its cue, the rain started pouring in sheets and buckets, without any kind of drizzle as a prelude.

Merlin looked very uncomfortable about being out in the open of the storm. His grasp was still cutting off Arthur's circulation. But for some reason didn't mind. Maybe because this was familiar, this act of comforting his friend through the storms, holding on to each other until it passed.

Of course, they couldn't quite do that anymore, but Arthur was overwhelmed with a protective instinct for Merlin. He wanted to take care of him like he used to. It made him feel complete and needed. He didn't want anything to harm his Merlin. He would protect him from everything, even this storm.

The rush of affection after seeing Merlin shiver in the rain only shocked him for a moment before it just felt natural, like everything with Merlin did now. He shook off Merlin's death grip, but only to remove his coat and hold it above both their heads. Merlin grabbed the other end, visibly thankful for the shelter.

They ran back to Arthur's flat before any other bolts could chase after them. The coat didn't help much. The wind blew all the rain straight at them anyway, so they were drench by the time they walked into the flat and slammed the door. The coat fell with a wet plop, dripping water everywhere.

"-fucking freezing…" was all Merlin could say. Arthur shucked off his shoes in a fruitless effort to not track water everywhere. His clothes did the job his shoes would have. He went straight for the bedroom.

"How's an over-sized sweater sound?" He shouted, already taking off his shirt in his room and grabbing a sweater for himself and Merlin.

"Heavenly. I'll make tea."

Arthur pulled on the sweater and ignored the uncomfortable feeling of his wet jeans. He'd change after Merlin left.

He went out into the living room with a nice blue sweater in his hands for Merlin, but his feet stopped moving on their own accord when he got a look of what was in his kitchen.

Merlin clearly was unable to wait for the dry clothes before taking his shirt off. He stood barefoot and bare chested in the kitchen, not acknowledging Arthur's presence as he filled the kettle. The shirt had not protected his pale skin from the rain, and rivets were rolling down, getting caught in a thin patch of chest hair that extended into a thin happy trail down his stomach and disappearing at the hem of his trousers. His hair had also managed to hold the contents of an entire cloud and was dripping down his thin neck and boney shoulders.

Suddenly the spot on Arthur's thigh that Merlin had touched burned, and the tingling feeling picked up where it left off, rolling up his body. Merlin just looked so different The rain had somehow made Arthur aware of everywhere the water was touching and rolling down Merlin's body, making his eyes drawn there in a way they never had before. He wanted to hold Merlin, seeing him there, shivering and wet. He wanted to warm him and protect him. He wondered if the cool rain would contrast with the warmth of his body, and how his small frame would feel in his arms…

Perhaps he’d had three beers too many.

When Merlin looked up and met Arthur gaze, Arthur's motor functions returned. They met half way, and Merlin took the sweater.

"We have to stop meeting like this…" Merlin said in a teasing voice it took Arthur a moment to actually chuckle. Merlin threw the sweater over his head, and Arthur watched the way his body stretched with his arms above his head, the trail of hair extending, and his ribs peaking out through pale skin. The outline of his body was harder than he ever would have thought. Arthur was stunned he would even want to think about that. But the whole image was just shocking and astonishing, almost more shocking and astonishing than the realization that he couldn't look away.

Thankfully, Merlin pulled the sweater over his torso and stomach, and Arthur could focus again. Merlin had a nice body, so what? Arthur just was so used to a different body whenever he pictured Merlin. Sometimes he was still only a child in his mind. But this was the body of a young man, a fit and well-built man.

Merlin shook his head and droplets of water flew everywhere. Arthur threw up a hand to protect himself. "Oi! You're like an untrained puppy or something."

Merlin looked up, smiling like an idiot. His hair was pointing in a million different directions, but somehow it just looked right on Merlin.

The kettle whistled, and they ran to get their hot tea to warm up. Merlin perched himself on the counter while Arthur leaned against the cabinets. It was their casual routine now. They waited for their tea to cool and each took cautious sips in silence before Merlin finally spoke.

"Thanks again, by the way. It seems I’m always stealing your clothes."

"Don't mention it. Probably looks better on you anyway."

"Probably more expensive than anything I’ve ever worn." He chuckled. But Merlin held his tea in his lap, and looked intensely into the mug. "But er, also… thanks for not… I dunno. Making fun of me about the thunder thing."

"Why would I make fun of you?"

"’Cause only children are scared of thunder. I seem to remember you calling me a baby every time."

"Come now Merlin, I've matured since then… more or less."

"Probably more less, and less more."

"’Cause that made perfect sense." Arthur rolled his eyes. Merlin was smiling and swinging his feet, but looked much calmer now, which soothed Arthur. "I don't mind waiting out the storm with you."

The statement was deeper than its literal meaning. Arthur would wait out any storm with this man, and he knew Merlin would do the same for him. They’d already waited through years of storms alone, and he didn't want to think about Merlin having to wait alone anymore.

Merlin's eyes glistened when he looked at Arthur. He caught the meaning as well. "Much appreciated."

They sat in the kitchen and sipped their tea while listening the rolling thunder become more distant. By the time it sounded far enough to be safe, they were done with their tea and exhausted. Merlin began to say his good byes, promising the sweater would be returned tomorrow in exchange for his much less valuable shirt.

They embraced in a normal hug good-bye. But to Arthur it felt different. He felt like he needed to value it and savor the feeling of Merlin's body embraced by his arms. He may have held on a moment longer than a platonic hug should be. If Merlin noticed, he didn't acknowledge it. He basked in the affectionate hug as well.

The door closed, and Arthur had to lean against it. He felt flushed and over heated, despite still being damp from the storm. He rubbed at his face, as if that would somehow remove the confusion he felt, like a stain.

In his restlessness, he began cleaning his flat, hoping he just needed to exert a ton of energy to make him less fidgety. As he did, he found that almost everything reminded him of Merlin. The pillow Merlin spilled a drink on while he an Arthur reenacted bad movies, but Arthur kept on the couch despite the stain. The mirror that they took drunk pictures of themselves on the first night they were supposed to do work. His Dragon Technology music dock that Merlin took over with his weird indie rock.

And of course in his room, the damn children's book that hid in his drawer. The source of so much joy and so much pain in Arthur's life. He held it while he lay back in his bed. It still frustrated him that there was so much he couldn't remember, yet now his mind was flooded with all these new memories so quickly. It was as if all the old gaps were being filled in, but with new upgraded material.

Arthur swore at himself for coming up with a computer metaphor. How Uther-like. He put away the book and curled up to sleep. His dreams were plagued with Merlin standing in the rain alone and naked, and Arthur wanting to wrap his arms around him and warm his shivering pale body. But no matter how hard he tried, he couldn't move forward.

He woke up confused and not sure where he was. And with the most insistent case of morning wood he had in a while.

Fuck.

The following week Arthur and Merlin actually buried themselves in their books and studies. Their presentation for class with Professor was looming nearer, and they hadn't been as diligent as they should have been. Arthur was grateful for the distraction. He didn't want to relive the past anymore, because it was just too confusing. Merlin, thankfully, was concentrating too.

Sweet relief rushed through Arthur on Thursday afternoon after he and Merlin said their thank you's to the class and shut down the projections on the front screen of the classroom. The project they had slaved over for almost a month was done, and he felt his stress levels lighten. Merlin had a huge goofy grin on his face, and knew he was thankful too. Merlin had been complaining about seeing knights and swords in his dreams, and the pages of their texts attacking him with vicious paper cuts. But it was all over now, so they could get anxiety attacks over other classes instead.

When class ended, Merlin and Arthur left together out of force of habit, but stopped once they were in the corridor.

“Oh wait,” Merlin said. “We don’t have to go to the same place anymore.”

He was right. They had followed each other out of the classroom together for the past few weeks to go back to Arthur’s to work on the project. Now that they didn’t need to anymore, he was at a loss as to what to do from here.

“Ah. You’re right… I guess that means our visits might be less necessary.”

“I’m sure you have a life to get back to anyway.” Merlin meant it as a joke, but it came across as a bit hurt.

“Nonsense. I mean, I guess I can stay at fencing practice a bit longer tomorrow.”

“I still have yet to come and watch.”

“Do yourself a favor and don’t. It’s not that exciting.”

“I’ll be the judge of that. What time? Its usually Fridays?”

“Really Merlin, don’t worry—“

“Five o’clock! That’s when you normally bailed.”

“Don’t you have anything better to do with your Friday night?” Arthur didn’t mean for it to sound so snobby. After all, it’s not like he had anything better to do either. But he didn’t want Merlin to think he made him attend.

“Not really, since Lance and Gwen started becoming more serious. They go out almost every weekend now.”

“I suppose that’s my fault.”

“I think Morgana’s fault technically.”

Arthur chuckled. He also felt a bit guilty for not being more aware of the rapidly budding romance between Lance and Gwen. He hadn’t seen much of her lately, and Morgana had been a wee bit moodier without her other half. But still, the thought was charming. Gwen with a steady boyfriend in uni. He had forgotten that tended to happen as one got older and more mature. Dating hadn’t been on his mind since before gradation. The thought seemed odd. But it did strike a curiosity in him. What would it be like? A real adulthood romance…

“So I’ll see you tomorrow.” Merlin’s voice snapped him out of his daydreams.

“Right. If you insist.” Arthur rolled his eyes sarcastically.

“I do. Gotta run to the library now.”

“Just when you thought you had escaped it.”

“Lit major.” Merlin reminded him.

“Oh right. Go back to your Nirvana then.”

Merlin laughed and waved as he ran off. Arthur tried to shake off how thoughts of romance and Merlin’s voice all happened within seconds of each other.

Arthur didn’t realize how excited he was for fencing practice until he passed Morgana after locking up his flat.

“You’re whistling?”

“Is that a crime?”

“Someone is happy.” It was a statement.

“Is that what that means?”

“Ugh. I am done with you happy buggers.”

“Sometimes your vast amount of selflessness can be too much to handle Morgana.”

She made a frustrated groan. “First Gwen and now you. So much freaking… giddiness.”

“I’m just going to fencing practice. Sorry the Debate Team isn’t tickling your fancy.”

“Something good happening today?”

“Er…no? I mean, I guess Merlin is supposed to come watch for whatever reason.”

“Ah-ha!” She pointed a finger in a dramatic fashion that nearly poked him in the eye. It honestly startled Arthur to the point of flinching.

“You are a complete nutter!”

“You’re excited Merlin is coming.”

“Am not. Just a friend who wants to support me. Nothing special.”

“You were never this excited when I came to watch your competitions.”

“Probably because you came to flirt with my team mates.”

“I was boosting morale.”

“Half the time you flirted with the other team.”

“That was strategy. I was distracting them for you.”

“There is that selflessness of yours again.” He turned to leave.

Morgana called out to him. “Good luck! Show off for him!”

“Nutter…” Arthur mumbled under his breath.

Okay, so maybe he was a bit excited to share this part of his life with Merlin. It was a skill he was rather proud of, and hoped that Merlin would be impressed too. The feeling was so new to him. He had never really felt extremely supported through this hobby. Sure, Uther supported financially. But he never made many appearances. He did once at Arthur’s first regional championship. Arthur lost, but seeing Uther up in the crowd had somehow numbed the feeling of disappointment. Maybe it was confusion. But it didn’t matter because he never saw him again after that, even when he won regionals.

Sure, Morgana had been there for most of his major competitions. But she would always act bored or claim she could do better. She had actually taken a lesson with him when he first started. She was rather skilled and a quick learner, but she didn’t show up for another lesson. Arthur was secretly glad, because he didn’t need to be showed up by his half sister. He much rather have her sarcastic support from the sidelines.

Unlike Morgana or even Uther, Merlin had no obligation to Arthur. He wasn’t family. He was just a friend. A friend who earnestly wanted to be a part of Arthur’s life and the commitments he made. That level of support was new, and it made Arthur glow with glee over the whole idea. He felt confident and proud, and couldn’t wait to kick ass for Merlin.

Just like one could always depend on Arthur to be early, it was expected that Merlin would be late. So Arthur was not concerned when he didn’t see Merlin in the bleachers. Only a few members were there getting some pointers from Leon. Arthur went to the locker rooms to change and warm up.

Elena exited the girl’s locker room the same time he did.

“Arthur! There you are. I missed you last week. I mean to say… you weren’t here! So you were, well… missed.”

“I had an assignment I needed to work on. But it’s over now. No worries. I haven’t lost my touch.”

“I’ll warm you up with a spare. I’ll go easy on you.”

“Is that why I won last time? And the past four times?”

She stuck her tongue out and headed to the strip. Arthur looked around for Merlin before putting on his mask. No sign of him.

Three epee wins and one foil win with Elena, and still no Merlin. Even Mordred’s glares didn’t distract him. He started feeling foolish for looking up into the bleachers every two minutes and decided to just ignore the nagging feeling of Merlin forgetting.

He took his anger out on a match with Mordred. His head clearly wasn’t in the right place, because Mordred landed five hits that he really shouldn’t have if Arthur was in his right mind. It was his first loss in a while, and it didn’t lift his spirits. Especially seeing Mordred strut away with a smirk.

He tried to hide his anger as he ripped the cord out of his saber. But the aggression didn’t get passed Leon.

“Whoa there Arthur. You only missed one practice.”

“I know I know…” Arthur repeated, not really looking Leon in the eye. “Just tired myself out early I guess.”

“Elena has that effect.” He giggled at himself. But Arthur wasn’t too amused. The strips were clearing now that practice was nearing an end. “Perhaps you and I should have a go before the end of practice. See if we can sort out any kinks.”

“Yeah, sure, fine…” Arthur somewhat stumbled his response. But he was happy to spare some more to work out the anger. And fencing with Leon was usually a pleasant challenge.

After a few decent hits to Leon and feeling more confident again, Arthur headed to the locker room. He was feeling a pleasant mix of exhaustion and accomplishment now, and was excited to get back to his flat to put up his feet and start a relaxing weekend. After he took off his gear and changed shirts, he toweled off his damp face, only to turn around and be faced with Elena. She was cleaned up now, with fresh clothes and brushed hair. And was that… perfume?

“Elena? This is the men’s lockers.”

“There’s no one here anyway. Practice is over.”

“And oddly enough, these are still the men’s locker’s.”

She did one of her full hardy laughs that included a snort. Arthur could only chuckle awkwardly along with her. “Oh Arthur. I learned long ago being a girl in this sport requires giving up all notions of decency or decorum. We’re a team after all.” She stepped closer to him, but her eyes kept darting around. She was messing with her hands like she was nervous.

“Well as pleasant as it is to see you here, I still think—“ He was cut off by Elena jumping forward, pressing her body against his in a clumsy fashion, throwing him against the wall, and kissing him hard with lack of finesse oddly suiting of Elena.

It was so shocking that he couldn’t move. His lips would not reciprocate the action, but his body wouldn’t reject it. He just stood with his eyes wide as Elena attempted to get his mouth to cooperate.

But Arthur couldn’t.

And he couldn’t understand why. Elena was attractive in her own unique way. They got on well and loved fencing together. Not to mention Arthur had been plagued by thoughts of romance since Gwen and Lance got together. Suddenly the loneliness did seem crushing. And he wanted to badly to join Elena in this heated moment. He wanted to want her. So perhaps that void could finally be filled. Perhaps even the anger for his day would melt away.

Merlin.

Dear God he picked now—while kissing Elena—to remember Merlin. How Merlin had been filling the void. How he missed him when they weren’t together. How he watched the rain drip down Merlin’s body. How excited he had been to see him at his fencing practice. How he didn’t show. And how disappointed Arthur felt over it. As well as his possessiveness and protective instinct he felt for his Merlin that he couldn’t feel for the girl kissing him. The angst mixed with his sexual frustration, which finally allowed him to snap out of his trance and push Elena off him.

Her eyes darted around his face, and he could see her cheeks flush pink and grow darker. She pulled away from his grip, and covered her face in her hands. Elena turned around, clearly unable to look at Arthur after realizing his intent.

“Elena…”

“I’m sorry! I’m so sorry… I just thought… We just connected so well and I figured… maybe, if I just… Fuck. Oh Arthur…”

“No Elena! I should be the sorry one. You’re an amazing girl. And an amazing fencer! But I just… can’t.”

“Why not?”

“I don’t know.”

“That’s helpful…”

“Elena please…” He grabbed her shoulder to make her face him. Her eyes were glossy with held back tears. God he felt like shit. “This has nothing to do with you. And I am highly flattered that a girl like you would want, well this…” He gestured to his sweaty and unkempt self. She smiled. “But I just have a lot to work through. And at this time, you deserve better. And I am really, really sorry for making this situation so awkward.”

“No, as usual that was me.”

“Oh come off it. It was a valiant effort.” She began to physically relax and recompose herself.

She took a long breath. “I better sneak out before Leon catches me. But erm… you won’t mention this to anyone… right?”

“Absolutely not. The team would never stop making fun of me for wussing out.”

She went for the door, but turned around to smile at him. “Thanks Arthur.”

“Don’t worry about it.” He smiled back. She left, and he packed up the rest of his equipment in a daze of confusion.

He was acutely aware of his loneliness now. It seemed to be all around him. It had always been there, but he had never taken notice until he had a possible cure for a moment. But not a cure he wanted. But that warmth and affection felt nice. The idea of a press of lips and rush of skin was tempting. He wished he could have somehow kept that part and not so much the person who was offering it. The whole situation was highly confusing and frustrating. He pushed it aside, figuring his raging hormones could wait.

He hoped he had recomposed himself once he exited the locker room with his large bags, only to be startled again.

“Merlin?”

“Hey! Sorry I was late.” Merlin was standing there, all smiles and shuffling feet like he was too excited to stand still. “My foundations professor kept me way after class to discuss my thesis. One theme led to the next, then a motif and a symbol, and then its half past! I’m so sorry. But I saw you clashing with that last tall bloke. You were really skilled! You just zipped up and down and your sword came out of nowhere and—wow, fencing looks thrilling!”

He must have been talking about sparing with Leon. It certainly wasn’t a match and had been very slow paced, but just that had gotten Merlin rallied.

It made Arthur’s heart swell.

He must have been too angry to look back up to see if anyone else had entered the gym. He felt bad for missing Merlin and making him wait.

Oh God. Merlin had been there while Elena was kissing him. The thought made Arthur uncomfortable. Not that the kiss meant anything or Merlin saw it. But Arthur felt scandalized knowing Merlin had been so close while such an awkward moment happened just beyond the door.

Or it could have been the fact that it was Merlin who popped into his head when someone else’s lips were on Arthur.

He felt his face get hot, and prayed it didn’t show. Or that he could blame it on exhaustion and heat from the mask.

“Glad you saw the good stuff at least, and not me cocking up earlier.”

“Bollocks.”

“Bit of an off day. But it happens. Turned out good in the end eh?”

“Maybe I’m your lucky charm.” Merlin smirked. It took Arthur a moment to smile back, but he did.

“Yeah, that could be it.”

They both exited the gym once Leon started turning off lights.

“Heading back to the flat?” Merlin asked.

“As uneventful as that sounds, yes. I should be a proper uni student and get piss drunk and pass out. But I rather just skip to the passing out part.”

“You have my full support. I’m just sorry I couldn’t get to you earlier to cheer you on. But you are probably sick of my company anyway.”

Merlin’s modesty was so far from the truth it wasn’t even funny. Arthur couldn’t chuckle along with him.

Against his better judgment, Arthur found himself saying, “Actually if you want to make it up to me, you can come pick up your atrocious CD collection you left at my place.”

“You listened. Don’t lie.”

“Irrelevant. Answer the question.”

“I accept. I’ll pick up some beer to sweeten the deal. So we can at least be ‘proper uni students’, as you say.”

“Right…”

Arthur knew he was not in the best emotional state to be inviting Merlin back with him given the turmoil that was still raging in his mind. But he just couldn’t be alone tonight. Not after what happened. And maybe being with Merlin would set his mind at ease. With Merlin, everything was simple. Conversation was easy and relaxing, and they always found something to do.

With Merlin he just felt less empty. Not full yet. But it was a definite improvement. But whatever was missing could wait.

Arthur took a quick shower when he got back to rid himself of the sweat he accumulated during fencing. And some probably from that awkward moment with Elena. Every time he thought of it he would exhale sharply and cringe. The pangs of guilt and aggravation were becoming less intense. He just needed to distract himself.

But being around Merlin wasn’t helping. For some reason those damn smiles and damn giggles, every pat on the back or playful punch just burned and brought him back to thoughts of Elena and how he couldn’t go through with it. He wasn’t sure how Merlin was connecting with his sexual frustration, but it was concerning nonetheless.

The call from Uther was the last straw.

“Hello?” He answered his cell.

“Bernard from advertising tells me you requested a recommendation letter.” Not even a hello.

“I was trying to accumulate a resume and portfolio from the past year. I figured since I interned with him it would be beneficial to…”

“It’s not necessary. It was just advertising Arthur. You need to focus on business and finance.” Uther’s voice was flat and stern. His business voice.

“I have to disagree. I was able to learn a lot from both employees and clients while making and researching the adverts. There was a lot of useful feedback from…”

“It will just be a waste of your time Arthur. And how are classes? I heard from Morgana you joined fencing. I don’t want that interfering with your studies.”

“It’s only twice a week. Just for recreational purposes. As for classes, it’s mostly general education courses. Nothing I can’t handle…”

“I still think a position perhaps in student government or working under a board member would be more practical. I talked to Dray Kilgharrah and he mentioned an opening in the office.”

“I just want to hold back on those kinds of commitments for a while. I’m still adjusting to the work load and campus…”

“I think you have taken enough time to adjust. I strongly urge you to be more proactive in your activities.” He kept cutting off Arthur. He felt a new frustration beginning to boil in his gut over the amount of authority Uther always felt the need to force upon him. Even when he was hundreds of miles away, he could not escape his father’s rule.

“…I’ll consider my options.”

“Is the flat still accommodating? The designer offered to make any changes needed.” His tone was lighter now. This one was dubbed his “Compensation Voice” by Morgana. It was used when Uther wanted to show off his vast wealth.

“It’s just some rooms and walls. It’s fine as it is.”

“The tile work is a custom design, and the furniture…”

“Yes I remember you telling me.”

“Just want you to appreciate the luxury of the place. Only the best of course.”

“As always…”

“Oh, I have Mercia Corp coming in on the other line. Call me when you have your priorities straightened. Take care.”

And no goodbye to match the greeting. At least Uther was consistent.

Arthur slowly let the phone fall away from his ear as he stared at the floor.

“Call from home?” Merlin said from the couch. Arthur snapped up, forgetting he had been there.

“Not home. Just Uther.”

“That’s not home?” Arthur began to walk back to the couch, but didn’t sit down.

“Home would mean a place I enjoy returning to. That was just my father reminding me that I’m a disappointment. Says my priorities aren’t in order. God, he is such a hypocrite! Maybe he should re-evaluate his priorities before he goes judging mine!”

“What are his?”

“Company first. Then expanding said company. Then booze. Then oxygen. Then family. Where does he get off telling me I’m fucking up huh? Everything I have ever done has been a direct order from him. I do want he wants, and go where he points…”

“Arthur…”

Arthur’s anger boiled over. Perhaps it was from the added anxiety from before, but he didn’t mean for all of this to start spilling out. His voice became louder and accompanied by dramatic hand gestures, but he just couldn’t hold it in anymore.

“…and then he expects me to be impressed by his shallow bullshit. Like imported curtains and skyline views. Well Uther, I don’t give a shit about what your blood and sweat has built. About your summer homes, and name dropping. You can’t just buy me like a merger and force your opinions upon me, and your stupid company!”

“Arthur!” Merlin was standing at the front side of the couch. By the expression on Merlin’s face, it looked like he may be boiling over too. Just more for Arthur’s ever growing pile of shit for the day.

But seeing the clear anger in Merlin’s eyes—something he hadn’t seen before—terrified Arthur.

“Do you hear yourself? Do you hear what you are complaining about? You are living the dream of every orphan we lived with all those years ago. What none of them will ever have. Luxury that not everyone can enjoy, and you are just taking all that for granted?” Merlin slowly made steps toward Arthur, emotion written all over his face in his furrowed brow fraught with disbelief, gaping mouth, and glaring eyes.

“Merlin, it’s not like that…”

“Is it? Poor little rich boy, who can’t be grateful for what he has! I get it, your father sold his soul to the pound, but Arthur, you need to put all this in perspective. My mum had to live pay check to pay check in order to support the two of us. And you never had to worry about anything like that. Maybe he was a royal ass, but he provided for you.”

“He abandoned me! The bloody coward had to wait until his wife died to claim his bastard son! And didn’t even have the bollocks to tell me!” He was yelling now. Merlin wasn’t supposed to do this. Merlin was supposed to be his vice. He wasn’t supposed to disagree with him…

Merlin also wasn’t supposed to be right. Not about this.

“He came back for you! And tried to make it up to you! He took you away to a life of wealth and extravagance! And you were pouting in your sports cars? Swearing at you three course dinners and brooding in your mansions just because he wanted the best for you?”

“No! Merlin I didn’t mean it like that…”

“No one came back for me Arthur! Not even you!” Now Merlin was screaming. His face gained more color. And were those tears in the corners of his eyes…? “I was forgotten! Even I forgot my name! But then you found me and… that meant the world… just the name you gave me is priceless. But you were too busy being an ungrateful prat to remember me. The only reason we are even together now is because of a stupid coincidence.”

That part stung. Arthur was frozen, staring at the stationary tears in Merlin’s eyes as a tempest of emotions raged within him. Anger, frustration, sympathy, guilt…

“Don’t think I haven’t noticed. You hardly remember our childhood until I remind you. Because you got a better life, and didn’t need me anymore. And I should have known that when you drove off in the big shiny black car and yet… I waited for you. Everyday. By that window. For weeks Arthur. Because you promised to come back for me. But why the hell would you? When you had piles of wealth to complain about…”

“Merlin…” He waited…

“I know it was just a stupid unrealistic childish notion…” For weeks… “But I can’t blame you for not to come back…” Arthur didn’t realize… “You no longer needed me…” But Merlin doesn’t know… “Why would you need me now…?”

“I did!” Arthur screamed. He had to take a large step forward, so now he could look Merlin directly in the eyes. Now even he felt the sting of tears in his eyes and they could probably be seen, but Merlin finally stilled. His face looked broken compared to the enraged look he wore before.

“I did need you Merlin.” His voice was shaking. Maybe his body was too. But he was so angry and so hurt, and full of so much regret. This guilt he felt with Merlin had gone on long enough. Arthur would prove to Merlin that he did care. Maybe he didn’t remember everything they did over a decade ago, but he knew Merlin left a void in him that was never filled. And now he could fill it again, and he would fight to keep him this time. Harder than he had ever fought for anything. He hadn’t told Merlin before because it was embarrassing, but now he needed to tell Merlin how much he cared.

“I ran away.” His was voice was raspy from holding back tears. But he managed to get the words out. Merlin’s eyes went wide. “Everyday. Every. Damn. Day. I needed to get back to you. And I tried. For over a month I tried. But stupid fucking Uther! The man you want me to praise, the man who took me away from you, he was keeping us apart and I just… I couldn’t forgive him. I still can’t forgive him. Because yes, he gave me everything. But not the thing I wanted most. And that was you Merlin…”

There. He said it.

And it was true. Arthur may not remember much, but he knew he was never the same after he left that orphanage. And that was because a piece of him was missing. It was his Merlin. Call it what you will, best friends, soul mates, two halves, whatever. What he was feeling would never be able to be put into words, nor did he want to, really. Putting it into words meant that others could understand. But God, he just didn’t realize how much he needed Merlin until this moment…

Merlin got even closer, his glossy eyes darting all around Arthur’s face, searching for something. He seemed just as confused as Arthur. But when Merlin got closer and Arthur could feel his body heat and see that face in detail, his skin began humming. He liked having Merlin this close. It wasn’t uncomfortable, not like with Elena.

He wanted that hurt and confused look off Merlin’s face. He wanted to wipe it off by caressing the crinkles from the corners of his eyes and removing the tears, then gently brush those open lips so that maybe he could relax. He wanted to envelop Merlin in his arms for the warmth he had been craving for hours. He wanted that warmth from Merlin.

He wanted the rest of that void to be filled by Merlin.

“I still need you…”

The words must have stirred Merlin in the same way it had Arthur, because suddenly there was no more space between them.

It was replaced by Merlin’s mouth on his.

Arthur’s initial reaction was the same as it had been with Elena. Not because he didn’t want it. Hell, it wasn’t until it happened that Arthur realized he may have actually wanted it. But he was taken aback by the fact that he was kissing his childhood friend, who was also a man. Arthur had never kissed other men before, and had never had a desire to. But this was something he hadn’t felt before.

It was a new and wonderful.

A warmth bloomed through Arthur, the feeling he had been craving. His body reacted naturally, the way it was incapable of earlier. He relaxed and breathed into the kiss. Merlin’s mouth parted from his with a short whimper. In retrospect, the moment must have only been a second or two, but it felt like longer.

But not long enough.

And Arthur needed more. There was only a moment of hesitation of looking in each other’s eyes, trying to gauge what the other was thinking, before Arthur wrapped his hand around the back of Merlin’s neck and dragged his mouth back to his. This time his mouth was not stunned into idleness. Arthur pressed his lips hard against Merlin’s, ignoring any confusion he felt and was fueled by need.

And Merlin got just as lost in the moment. Arthur got glimpses of Merlin’s face as their mouths clashed on and off each other. Merlin’s brows were still furrowed, but not with a look of distress. More like desperation after waiting so long.

Merlin had been waiting for years. Maybe not by a window but waiting nonetheless. Now Arthur wouldn’t let him wait any longer.

Arthur had been searching. At first it had just been for his friend. But perhaps it was more. Perhaps it was this. He didn’t have time to think about it like that. He just knew he liked this the feeling of Merlin’s lips and the tickle of his ruffled hair in his palm, Merlin’s hands clenching the back of his shirt, and the short whimpers Merlin was making when they started opening their mouths for each other and letting their tongues explore were driving Arthur mad.

In his eagerness and restlessness, Arthur had backed Merlin up to the edge of the couch. Upon hitting the arm with the back of his leg, Merlin sat down, but continued to reach for Arthur’s mouth. Arthur liked leaning down to get to Merlin’s kisses. His palms moved to the side of Merlin’s face to hold his head there and to make sure they never parted. He could feel Merlin’s scruffy stubble. It made the feeling more real, like it was confirmation Merlin was real.

Like a fix he was now hooked on, Arthur wanted to touch more. His hands went to Merlin’s shoulders to feel the width of his frame. He felt firmer than he looked. Arthur hands traveled to Merlin’s chest. He hadn’t thought it through when he tried to apply pressure there, of course Merlin toppled back, and he dragged Arthur along with him.

He hovered over Merlin with his hands on either side of Merlin’s head. When the other man stared back up at him, Arthur found himself trembling at the sight. Blown pupils, flushed skin, disheveled hair…all trapped underneath Arthur, forcing a rush of lust through his body. Merlin putting his hands on Arthur’s hips and then sliding them up his shirt didn’t help. Clearly Merlin wanted to feel too. But Arthur missed the movement and sounds, so he went back to kissing Merlin while their hands both caressed each other’s outlines.

Arthur’s erection rubbed against Merlin’s thigh once he settled in between his legs. The wave of pleasure brought a deep groan to Arthur’s throat. He was suddenly aware of how hard he was, and he ached for relief. He reach down to try and adjust, but began to palm himself through his jeans, craving friction.

His knuckles brushed Merlin’s hand, which was now on his own crotch as well, trying to sooth his arousal. Arthur leaned his forehead on Merlin’s to glance down where their hands were. The urge seemed mutual and they both undid their own buttons. Finally Arthur wrapped his rough fingers around his own hard cock at the same moment Merlin did his. Merlin’s eyes squeezed shut, clearly lost in the relief. Arthur pumped hard and slow at himself, but continued to gawk at both of their hands getting themselves off because the urgency left them no choice.

Arthur realized this would feel so much better if they were kissing again. So he did, attacking Merlin’s mouth in less coordinated kisses that were broken apart by breaths and moans.

Merlin came while kissing Arthur, his moan trapped in between Arthur’s lips, and God loved feeling that. He leaned up so Merlin could ride out his orgasm, and Arthur watched his face go slack as his body shuddered under him. Arthur wasn’t far behind. He attempted to catch his in his hand so it wouldn’t get all over Merlin. It made his own climax less intense, but he was suddenly embarrassed and didn’t want to ruin the moment by making Merlin sticky with more than just his own seed. His efforts were not very successful, and he just collapsed on top of Merlin, burying his face in Merlin’s neck, smelling the sweat and breathing hotly against his skin.

It was more than just a sexual release. Arthur felt years of anger melt away in between their bodies. He hadn’t felt this content in years. They laid there, basking in glow, and Arthur ignored anything that plagued his mind. His feelings of betrayal, confusion, guilt and anxiety didn’t matter now. And maybe there were some more questions he had to ask himself after all this. He didn’t understand what was happening between them, but it was going to have to wait. He was finally content, and it was because of Merlin.

Despite their spontaneous frenzy from that Friday, Arthur and Merlin didn’t speak for an entire week. Even in their class together, Arthur went back to sitting in the front while Merlin remained in back. Arthur could feel Merlin’s eyes on the back of his head. He tried to focus on Professor Gaius’s lesson, or even his strange pink and brown sweater vest and red glasses, but it didn’t work. He caught Merlin’s eye a few times, and his lips would part with an intake of breath, like he was going to say something. But Arthur would look away. He sprinted for the door after both classes.

And Arthur felt like shit.

After last Friday, Arthur rushed Merlin out of his flat, mumbling something about company in the morning. It was entirely untrue, and Merlin probably knew that. But he left with a look that seemed understanding. But Arthur caught the hurt in his eyes before he looked away downcast.

It shouldn’t have been that weird for Arthur. Best mates got off around each other right? He remembered back when he was 15 and he and Gwaine had accidently found a dirty magazine in school, and when they came home to look through it, they both had seen each other’s boners and understood the need for release. It wasn’t something they ever talked about, but it had happened a few times. But that was different. They weren’t getting off on each other after all.

No thoughts of awkward adolescence could comfort Arthur. Everyday since that Friday, Arthur’s blood ran hot every time he thought of Merlin. As the week went on, there were hardly moments he wasn’t thinking of Merlin. He found himself pacing, or running his hand through his hair, or rubbing at his face. Any kind of physical exertion because he was so damn fidgety. Fencing was a blessing in the middle of the week.

Seeing Elena didn’t help though. They both acted like it never happened, and she seemed unaffected. It still brought back unpleasant thoughts that drove him to break one of the sabers because he was hitting too hard.

The strangest part of the whole ordeal, however, was that thoughts of last Friday weren’t entirely unpleasant. Those kisses with Merlin were delicious and haunting, and getting off with him had been bloody brilliant. And that’s what bothered him. Merlin. His best friend and at the same time the source of his angst growing up. He had never thought of Merlin in a romantic way before. He was just a friend he lost. But ever since they were reacquainted, Arthur felt so complete. He had never felt anything like this for anyone. But he never thought what he was feeling was desire.

Most importantly, Merlin was a bloke. Arthur had only been attracted to women because he was a straight alpha male and that’s what he was supposed to do. The thing that was eating at him the most about the event wasn’t so much that he had kissed a man, but the fact he didn’t think about it at the time. When he was kissing and feeling Merlin, he wasn’t getting off on someone’s gender, he was getting off on Merlin himself. He just wanted the feel of Merlin’s skin, and Merlin’s lips, and Merlin’s hands. But it wasn’t helping his big gay crisis. It only made it more confusing.

“Alright everyone, gather ‘round before you go,” Leon announced Friday when they were all done practicing. Arthur was panting after he took his mask off. He and Mordred had been sparing harder than ever, and they didn’t even get to finish because they were moving too fast for the ref to make proper calls.

“The Regional Competition for the Camelot Cup starts at the end of the month. Only one of you from each division will be participating. So that means one foil, one epee, and one saber. So next Friday we’ll be holding a gym competition to determine fairly who will be going.”

An eerie silence fell over everyone. They were a team after all, and hated to compete against each other. But not everyone could get sent to the competition, and they knew that.

Instantly Arthur’s eyes went to Mordred. They knew it would be down to the two of them to decide who would be fighting to get into regionals, and they both had a fair shot at getting it. Arthur couldn’t say for sure if he could win. But by God, he was going to try. He had to wipe that smirk off that pretentious bastard’s face.

Leon dismissed them, and Arthur started gathering his equipment.

“You know I was selected to compete in regional’s last year.” Mordred said with a smug look. He was always less threatening looking after sparing. His face was damp and flushed and his hair was matted down. But those eyes were still piercing.

“Oh yeah? Didn’t make it far past that I bet. Me, one the other hand, I have made it past regionals.”

Mordred didn’t respond immediately. Now Arthur was smirking.

“This isn’t secondary school Arthur. You won’t make it past me.”

“We’ll see next week on the strip Mordred.” He tossed his bag over his shoulder and stormed off for the men’s locker room, not having the patience for Mordred’s bullshit.

But Morgana’s bullshit was inescapable. He knew he wasn’t going to like what he heard when “Wicked Witch” showed up on his caller ID.

“What do you want?” He answered while exiting the locker room.

“Party at your place in 3 hours.”

“Hell no.”

“Too late. I was gonna have it at mine but the place looks like rubbish. So thanks to your OCD, you are the host.”

“Morgana! You can’t just spring this kind of thing on me.”

“Don’t worry! I’m already over here setting up. Thank God you had that extra key.”

“Morgana…”

“Oh don’t worry Arthur! All you have to do is show up. I bought the bevvy’s and food and did the guest list. You won’t even have to lift a finger. And besides, you have been an ogre all week. Don’t think I haven’t noticed. Something is bothering you, and isolation isn’t going to help. Some socializing will do you some good.”

“That doesn’t make it okay for you to just abuse my place.”

“Merlin will be there.” Shit.

“Erm… okay? Why?” He tried not to stumble over his words and sound normal. But panic was flooding through him. He wasn’t ready to face Merlin yet.

“Well Gwen is bringing Lance of course. And Lance and Merlin are close friends. And Merlin seems to be a little loner like yourself. Maybe that’s why you two click. So there, you can go be wallflowers together. See? I’m thinking of you too with these plans.”

“I’ll call the Vatican and nominate you for sainthood.” He said, making sure the venom was clear in his voice. But it was out of his hands. This party was happening.

“You’re very welcome. Cheers brother!” And she hung up.

“Dammit…” He said glaring at his phone.

“Arthur?” Elena approached him looking very cheerful since last week. He was grateful she was so willing to put that behind them, because he could not deal with it right now. “Everything okay?”

“Just my sister seems to think my life revolves around her. That was her on the phone, inviting me to my own party apparently.”

“You’re upset about a party? Sounds like fun to me.”

“Well since this is happening, you’re welcome to pop in. If you’d like. I’m just as unprepared, so sorry if that was a tad last minute.”

“I’d like that actually! I’ll stop by later, after I shower and become a human being again.”

“Likewise. I’ll text you the address. And I’ll apologize now for my sister. She’s an undiagnosed psychopath who uses her powers for good or evil, depending what side of the bed she wakes up on. So if her crowd doesn’t suit your fancy, you may run away and never return.”

“Thanks for the warning. Sounds like my kind of girl. I’ll crash it soon. Later Arthur!”

She skipped off. Well at least someone was happy about this party.

Thankfully Gwaine and Percy arrived first. They must have sensed Arthur was in distress and at Morgana’s mercy, and were there to save his arse. They claimed a couch too brood upon, and slowly but surely the guests trickled in. Arthur recognized some from his classes, but most were the strange trendy, indie crowd that Morgana associated with. Arthur always chided her about them, and how Political Science majors were supposed to be posh bastards in button downs and modest jumpers. But Morgana would laugh it off, insisting these were the liberals and the future generation was in their hands, which Arthur couldn’t decide whether or not he should be nervous.

Arthur was happy to see Gwen at first. She was somewhat like a rock for him for any emotional turmoil, and hoped to maybe talk to her. Maybe not about the details of last week, but just to have her give some kind of vague wise advice about following his heart or trusting his instincts. This kind of advice usually sounded like shallow bullshit from anyone, but not Gwen. One of her gentle pats to the back and caring smile was exactly what the doctor ordered.

But he should have known that Lance would be trailing behind her, followed by Merlin.

Their eyes met instantly.

Arthur’s heart was racing, because now there was no avoiding facing what had happened. At least they were in public, so maybe that would stop Merlin from broaching the subject.

And to stop Arthur from wondering what was under that particularly tight shirt that Merlin was wearing.

His eye line followed Merlin to the kitchen where he disappeared behind a group. Arthur hoped he would stay distracted for a while.

“If it isn’t the old ball and chain.” Gwaine greeted as Lance and Gwen approached. “Oh and Gwen! How lovely to see you.”

“Clever Gwaine.” Lance gave him a playful punch and took the remaining seat. Gwen proceeded to perch herself on his lap, looking perfectly natural and content.

“Did you hear Arthur? Since you turned down my proposal for the footie team, Lance has taken your place. You’ll find my divorce papers on your desk in the morning.”

“Good. I’ve been cheating on you for months now.”

“Well now you and your mistress can retire to your country Villa and be done with me, after I take all your money.”

Amidst the laughter, Arthur didn’t notice Merlin approach to bring some beer to Lance and Gwen.

“Speak of the devil! It’s you mistress.” Gwaine gave Merlin a playful shove. But he and Arthur froze. No one else seemed to notice the tension, and for that he was thankful. Merlin sat on the floor at Lance’s feet.

“Don’t be too flattered Arthur,” Percy said. “He’s only with you for your money.”

Arthur took a breath, realizing he can’t just filter out Merlin. So instead of pretending he didn’t exist, he resolved to act like last Friday never happened.

“Joke’s on him then. Cause I’ll be losing it all to you and my lawyers.”

“That’s alright.” Merlin said, “He probably only wants me for my looks.” Merlin must be following Arthur lead now that he sees it’s allowed. Arthur gave him a shy smile, because he was still ashamed that he is treating Merlin like this.

The banter and small talk continued for a long time. The tension started to dissolve a bit, but Arthur couldn’t fully relax around Merlin. He excused himself to get another glass of Morgana’s special punch she made for the evening. Normally he wouldn’t touch one of her alcoholic potions, but tonight he needed it.

On his way back, the door opened, and Elena walked in. It was the first time Arthur ever saw her out of fencing gear or athletic clothes. She cleaned up nice.

“I’m a bit un-fashionably late.” She announced.

“Have you seen this crowd?” He gestured to the group wearing multi-colored beanie hats and cut up band shirts. “You are definitely the most fashionable here.” She gave an earnest giggle that Arthur was very appreciative of. It was much different from the flirtatious forced laughs she had been giving him for weeks. The real Elena was comforting. “I’ll introduce you to some people.”

He brought her over to the couch. Morgana had stolen his seat, surprise surprise.

“Everyone, this is Elena. She is on the fencing team with me.” They went around introducing each other, and a look of surprise took over her face when she came around to Merlin.

“Oh! Merlin! Nice to see you.”

“Glad you exist outside our foundations classroom.” Merlin joked.

“You two know each other?” Arthur asked.

“We have Foundations of Creative Writing together.” Merlin explained.

“Merlin is a bit of a prodigy in that class. He writes thrilling short stories. Usually about medieval kingdoms and knights. ”

“Not that crap Elena…” Merlin scoffed, but seemed very self-conscience.

“Nonsense Merlin! He just finished sharing the lovely short story about a king and his servant. The servant was a warlock who used his magic to protect the king, but the king never knew, because the servant did it selflessly since he loved his king so much. I hope you take Professor Alice’s advice and make it a romance.”

“It’s a work in progress…” Merlin looked away, avoiding everyone’s eyes. But Arthur knew it was his eyes Merlin was avoiding.

A king and his servant…

“I want to read this story.” Morgana said. “Does the king love the warlock too?”

“Not far enough in the story yet.” Merlin defended.

“Don’t make this into some gay romance Morgana. I remember those books you read in secondary school.” Gwaine said.

“Those were beautiful love stories!”

“They made men seem like big pansies! If you are gonna have a love story about two men, they don’t have to be complete poofs you know. It should be intense and hot and manly…”

“Oh, so you read them Gwaine?” Percy asked. The group oooh’d and chuckled.

But Merlin wasn’t.

“I’m gonna get another drink.” Arthur said.

“You just got one.” Lance pointed out.

He handed his glass to Elena. “Here, you can have this one. I’ll get one for myself.”

“Such a good host.” Morgana rolled her eyes.

“I’ll come with you.” Gwen said. She crawled off Lance to follow Arthur.

There weren’t many people in the kitchen. Arthur felt like he was finally getting oxygen. He slowly poured himself a glass out of the punch bowl.

“Arthur?” Gwen asked. “What’s wrong?” Amazing how she didn’t even need to ask if there was anything wrong to begin with.

“Just a lot on my mind.” He took a gulp of the punch. He grimaced. Of course there was way more booze then juice.

“Is everything okay between you and Merlin?” He looked at her. He couldn’t hide the look of surprise on his face, which probably gave him away instantly.

“Merlin is great! It’s just… being with him… it brings a lot of stuff back you know? For both of us. I guess it’s been a little heavy is all.” He danced around the main issue and remained vague. He wasn’t ready to share what really happened.

She patted his back and gave it a gentle rub in a circular motion. It was her signature soothing move. “I have no idea what you must be going through. But what I do know is you were much happier those weeks with Merlin then you have been this past week avoiding him. Just talk to him. I bet you are both feeling the same things.”

Good question. Were they feeling the same things?

Does the king love the warlock too?

The night went by quickly. It was probably the punch that was causing people to have to leave early. Eventually it was only Arthur, Gwen, Lance, and Morgana, and his sister could hardly count as present.

“At least we are right next door.” Gwen shrugged as Morgana stumbled about the flat looking for her shoes. “Come on Morgana. Let’s get you to bed.”

“Party poopers.” Morgana groaned. Gwen and Lance helped support her to the door.

“Gee, thanks for helping me clean up.” Arthur said sarcastically toward Morgana, but she didn’t seem to hear him.

“I’ll help.” Merlin said from behind him. Arthur turned back to Gwen, who gave a knowing smile.

“Tell Morgana when she wakes up, I’m revoking her nomination for sainthood.”

“So sorry Arthur. But thanks for helping out. It was a fun evening.” She said.

“If you prefer, you can drag her to her bed.” Lance smirked.

“I think I rather clean with Merlin thanks.”

They said their good byes, and it was just him and Merlin.

Predictably, there was an awkward silence as they just stared at each other. Arthur’s stomach was basically doing summersaults, so he needed to do something to try and calm him nerves.

“People could at least have the decency to throw away their cups.” Arthur said as he grabbed a trash bag and puttered around the space, picking up red plastic cups that the guests left everywhere. He took a swig from one that still had some punch left, needing the liquid courage.

“Yeah, the nerve of some people…” Merlin mumbled as he slowly picked up some cups and empty bags of crisps. Arthur knew it was a passive aggressive statement at him. And yes, he did deserve it, but dammit Merlin wasn’t making this any easier for him.

“Well… Thanks for helping me clean up. Unlike that abusive sister of mine. It was her party anyway.”

“Seemed like the only way I’d get to talk to you. It’s been awhile…”

“…Help me move this chair back into my room Merlin.” He cut him off. “If those stick-like arms of yours can handle it.” They both grabbed one end of the large upholstered chair. It was completely unnecessary in Arthur’s large bedroom. Morgana had moved it out into the open space so there was more seating.

“I always thought extra furniture in a bedroom was one of the sure signs of wealth.” Merlin said as he stumbled walking backwards with the chair.

“I’d let the interior designer know, if I actually cared.”

They dropped it in the corner with a loud thud. It had been heavy, even for Arthur’s strength. They both sat on the edge of the bed, resting their sore arms.

And then Arthur realized they were on his bed… It was the final nail in the coffin of sexual tension.

Merlin saw the book on the bedside table. Their book. Merlin picked it up, but didn’t open it this time. He just felt the cover. Every dent and stain and tear of the poor tattered memory.

“Mum bought me a copy of this book.” His voice was low. “She heard me talk about it all the time and thought I wanted another one. But I wouldn’t touch it… It wasn’t the same.”

Arthur’s sigh was pained, like he had been stabbed by Merlin’s words. It certainly felt like it.

“The tear on page one is still there.” Arthur said. “From when that awful Sydney or whatever his name was tried taking it from me. And you jumped on him and fought to get it back. Then he tore the bottom of the page. You gave it back to me crying and tried to redraw the page.”

“I felt so guilty!” Merlin actually smiled.

“It was just the copyright page Merlin.”

“I didn’t know that then. I thought you would hate me for ruining your favorite book.”

“How could I ever hate you…?”

Merlin dropped the book onto his lap and whirled his head to face Arthur. His facial expression was not pleased. “Then why have you been avoiding me?”

Arthur tensed and felt his hands trembled. The subject just made him so nervous, and he felt like some young teenager on an awkward first date or something dreadful like that. And the idea that he compared this experience to a date didn’t help.

“Merlin I…”

“Because you didn’t seem to hate what we were doing last week…”

“No! No, I didn’t. But that’s what’s bugging me. I mean you’re my best mate and, well, that’s just it! That’s not what best mates do. But I did… and I don’t understand why. I’m not gay…”

“Nor am I.” Merlin said flatly. “I’ve gotten off with girls. But I’ve been interested in some blokes too.”

Arthur just stared, very confused. “I believe in falling for a person and not their gender.”

This wasn’t a concept Arthur was used to. He had never thought of it like that. However, it made perfect sense for his situation. He may not have been completely cured of his paranoia, but it was still a slight relief.

“And what? You’re falling for me?” And I’m falling for you?

A small quiet laugh of disbelief actually escaped Merlin’s lips. He brushed his fingers through his hair, making Arthur painful aware of how scruffy it was that day and how soft it looked.

“Arthur. I fell for you years ago.”

Arthur felt his insides dance. Even though it felt like so much movement was going on inside him, his face was like a stone. Because he didn’t know how to respond. But he knew what he was feeling.

It was affection.

And there was only one action he could possibly comprehend to show Merlin how he felt.

Arthur kissed him. Hard and deep. He wasn’t kissing some gay experiment or getting over being a closet case. He was kissing his Merlin. It was an urge he had never had before, for any boy or girl. Because none of them had been Merlin. His blood was humming and his mind was singing because he was so damn happy all of a sudden. He was falling for Merlin. Had been falling for Merlin for years, even when they were apart.

Their lips parted. But Arthur’s face didn’t stray far. His forehead leaned against Merlin. He felt Merlin smile under his palm that he had placed on the side of Merlin’s face. Relief just flooded through him over the fact that’s such a shitty situation had turned around. “I’m so sorry.” He whispered. He didn’t specify over what exactly because he was sorry for everything. Sorry for never finding Merlin years ago, for forgetting, for ignoring him, for not realizing how he felt for him.

Merlin seemed to understand, because now he was stroking the back of Arthur’s head. A sign of forgiveness he assumed.

“Good.” He suddenly said. Arthur pulled away with a look of confusion. “You were a total prick.” Merlin looked like he wanted to say it with a serious face. But his bright brilliant smile showed through, calling his bluff. As Merlin laughed, Arthur rolled his eyes.

“A prick huh? Don’t go putting ideas in my head Merlin…”

“Wha-“ And Arthur tackled him to the bed, pinning Merlin under his body. Merlin laughed as Arthur attacked his face with kisses.

As Arthur moved to Merlin’s neck, a body part he had been craving since being jealous of the raindrops that got to cling to that delicate skin, Merlin began to moan low so Arthur felt his pleasure vibrate beneath his lips. Merlin’s hands began to slip under Arthur’s shirt to feel and grab at the muscles in his back. The way Merlin’s hands were intrigued by the terrain of Arthur’s body sent a wave of arousal crashing through him. It was somewhat terrifying, this new body under him that he didn’t quite know how to please yet. It caused him to tremble slightly. But Merlin’s fingers were reassuring. At least someone knew what they were doing.

Even more shocking was the fact that all of his movements felt natural. The way he knew exactly where to kiss and where to touch Merlin was instinctive. Arthur was able to accept that this wasn’t a man he was kissing, this was Merlin, and anything they did felt fantastic.

It slightly comforted the fact that he had no idea what he was doing.

He took cues from Merlin. The feeling of skin on skin from Merlin’s roaming hands felt amazing, so Arthur wanted it too. His hand snaked up the side of Merlin and under his shirt. The touch caused Merlin to gasp, and Arthur felt the side of Merlin cave in, revealing his ribs and the dip in his outline that turned into his waist. It was the sexiest thing ever in Arthur’s mind, and God he just wanted more of that body.

“Off…” Merlin gasped after the shiver from Arthur’s touch road out. Arthur panicked, thinking he did something wrong. Then he realized Merlin was clawing at the edge of his shirt. Arthur lifted up off his arms and let Merlin lean up to take it off.

They both stilled, Arthur kneeling above Merlin, trapping his legs under him as Merlin sat up and gawked at Arthur’s torso. Arthur was certain he was blushing as he was gasping for air.

Merlin gently pressed his lips to the center of Arthur chest and placed his hands firmly on Arthur’s waist. Arthur’s head rolled back just from that, and groans escape his throat while Merlin continued placing kisses all across his chest.

“Mmm…Merlin…!” He gasped when Merlin’s lips sucked at his nipple. His cock jerked so hard, he was sure Merlin left it against his own chest, but damn, he never knew that could feel so good.

“Tell me again how many blokes you’ve been with?” His question was half serious.

“Enough to do this…” Merlin pushed Arthur back so he fell flat on the bed, then crawled on top of him and sat up.

“Who was your first?”

“First girl? Or boy?”

“In general.”

“Her name was Freya. We were seventeen.”

“That wasn’t too long ago… You’ve clearly had a lot of practice since.”

“And yours?” Merlin asked casually as he began unbuckling Arthur’s belt. Arthur quivered with anticipation, and hoped Merlin’s weight on top of his muted it slightly.

“…Gwen…” Arthur said looking away.

“Whoa, Gwen? But… you both are close still.”

“We had a fling. We had known each other forever, and we didn’t want our first times to be awkward. So we just did it to get it over with.”

“How was it?”

“Bloody awful.”

“Ha, first times always are.” Merlin had now unzipped Arthur’s jeans. There was already a damp spot on his pants from pre-come, and his erection was very obvious.

“I’ve gotten better since.”

“Let’s find out.” Merlin leaned down and kissed Arthur roughly. He didn’t even build it up, just shoved his tongue right in and licked into Arthur’s mouth. Arthur made a sharp intake of breath at the sudden action, because it was so fucking hot.

He felt Merlin’s hand undoing his own trousers, then he felt something warm on his stomach. He felt a wave of nervous excitement realizing it was Merlin’s own hard cock. Merlin’s fingers dipped into Arthur's waist band and freed his erection.

Their mouths didn’t even part when Arthur felt their cocks rubbed up against each other, even though it made Arthur want to scream in pleasure.

They rocked together, losing the rhythm every now and then. But his climax was building higher and higher. Arthur held onto Merlin back, feeling his sharp shoulder blades, while Merlin’s hand wrapped around Arthur’s neck, insuring the kiss never ended.

Arthur knew Merlin was close because his mouth panted into Arthur cheek. “-Ar-thur…” his voice was raspy, broken and beautiful.

“Mer…” Arthur tried to say, just he felt himself climax, and his voice was muted as his own orgasm pulsed through him. He didn’t even feel the stickiness between them until after they both climb down from their peak. And he didn’t even care, because Merlin was kissing his neck, and Arthur was kissing any part of his temple he could reach. He just felt so free and complete, feeling Merlin finally so close.

“Arthur!” He heard his front door slam. That was Morgana’s voice.

Both of their eyes went wide, and they scrambled off each other. “I didn’t grab my other shoe!” They used the sheets to wiped themselves off and struggled to put their shirts on. The orgasmic bliss was now replaced with fearful adrenaline.

“Do you ever fucking knock!?” He screamed.

“Arthur, do we really need to be so freaked out?” Merlin whispered, buttoning his trousers.

“Nothing is worse then your sister walking in on you having sex. No matter who it is or the gender it is.”

“Bit of a boner killer I suppose.”

“No shit.”

They both stumbled into the living room to see Morgana bending over a chair reaching for something on the other side of it. “Got it!” She said triumphantly.

“Great, now get the hell out.”

“Your place is a mess Arthur. You should really clean up.”

“Who’s fault is that?”

“Oh hey Merlin!” She gave a ferocious wave. “Still here?”

“No Morgana, of course he isn’t here. He is a mirage.”

“I actually was just leaving…” Merlin said. Arthur spun around to look at him a bit hurt. But Merlin smiled and shrugged. Perhaps it was best he not stay tonight.

They would have plenty of nights together. Ones without the risk of his sister storming in.

“Sorry Morgana is scaring you off.” She stuck her tongue out.

“Nah. I’ll just make sure she gets back and Lance and I can head back together. It’s a bit of a walk and it’s late.”

“Right… well…” And the awkwardness was back. “We’ll catch up later this week yeah?”

“Absolutely. I look forward to it.” Merlin smiled. He walked to the door and took Morgana’s arm.

“I hope we don’t walk in on Lance and Gwen.” Morgana said. “Wouldn’t that be embarrassing?”

“Yeah, it certainly would.” Merlin smirked at Arthur and guided Morgana down the hall. Arthur waved and chuckled before closing the door.

He immediately went to his bed and took off his clothes in exchange for sleep wear. On the floor was the children’s book. Merlin must have dropped it amidst their snogging. Arthur felt himself blush at the memory. He picked it up and put it back on the table before climbing under the covers. He ignored the spot on his sheets where they cleaned off their come, too tired and fucked out to care.

Besides, it was confirmation that it actually happened.

And Arthur wanted it to happen again.

Arthur couldn’t fall asleep.

The room was just too big and empty now that the other boy was adopted. The tree outside his window was casting terrifying shadows on his wall. He had never really noticed it when he wasn’t alone. They looked like claws reaching beyond the curtain. He wrapped the sheet around him tightly.

“Arthur…” the voice was small, but it still startled Arthur. He hoped his jump wasn’t too obvious.

He sat straight up to see Merlin. He looked so small in the hand-me-down pyjamas that were way to big for him. His cheeks were damp, and his was rubbing at his eyes.

“What Merlin? Can’t you see I’m trying to sleep…” He tried to sound tough and brave, even though he was far from sleep.

“I can’t sleep.”

“You finally get a room to yourself and you can’t sleep?” The boy in Merlin’s room had been adopted too. They both had been so excited earlier at the prospects of their own rooms. Now they were like curses.

“It’s scary in there. Can I sleep with you?”

“You are such a baby…” he said, but he was moving over and flipping the covers out to invite Merlin in. He jumped into the bed and nuzzled up against Arthur.

“Are there any monsters in here too?” Merlin asked.

“Maybe.” Arthur eyed the shadows. Merlin hid his face in Arthur’s chest and clutched at his shirt. “And it’s a good thing you’re here. I can’t fight them alone.”

Merlin gazed up at Arthur. His cheeks were dry now. Arthur felt himself relax seeing Merlin put on a brave face and snuggle up next to him.

“I’ll protect you Merlin.” He wrapped an arm around him.

“Nah-uh. I’ll be protecting you Arthur.” Merlin said sleepily into his shoulder.

“Yeah right, baby…” But Merlin was asleep, his breathing steady and quiet. Arthur sighed. “Night Merlin.”

Arthur fell asleep instantly to the sound of Merlin breathing.

Needless to say, the following week was much better.

Arthur didn’t get to see Merlin nearly as much as he would have liked because they were both honestly busy with work for classes. Merlin had to revise his thesis for one of his professors “a million times” as he put it, and Arthur had to do a lot of research for economics. The pressure was especially crippling due to the fencing tournament looming over his head.

But they both got some release after their Arthurian Lit class together. They would sneak back to Arthur’s flat to explore each other’s mouth and bodies, learning each other’s sounds. Anytime they were able to meet up on campus they were perfectly content with just chatting and having pleasant discussions with their group. No one mentioned the new dynamic between them. They hadn’t actually told anyone that they were sort of hooking up occasionally, but there was a clear difference in the way they interacted. Merlin would sit very close to Arthur. They would bump legs, fix each other’s hair, touch each other’s arms. Sometimes Arthur would catch himself just staring at Merlin and making mental lists of where he wanted to touch next. Those ears, how have I not kissed those ears… would it be weird to trace his eyebrows… God Merlin your smile…

Then Merlin would catch his eye and smirk as if he could read Arthur’s mind. Arthur would look away and go back to paying attention to Gwaine’s story or Morgana’s rants. But then he felt Merlin’s eyes staring at him, and hoped this thoughts were similar.

The harsh reality of the situation came crashing down when he happen to see Merlin in the library early Friday morning.

Merlin’s hands were gripping the front of his fringe as he stared at the words of the book in front of him. It didn’t look like he comprehended what he was looking at.

“Just assume it’s all a metaphor for life and death.” Arthur whispered. It made Merlin jump. His hair was a shaggy mess that suited Merlin. It made Arthur smile more than Merlin’s shocked reaction did. “That’s how I passed all my lit classes.”

“That would also explain your lack of artistic depth.” Merlin said. “My exam is today. Thought I would squeeze in some more studying. But after a while the letters start to look the same and none of it processes.”

“Try numbers some time.” Merlin offered him a sympathetic glance. His eyes looked like they were glittering as he gazed up at Arthur. Maybe it was just exhaustion, but it looked like a bit of admiration as well.

Arthur pulled out the chair Merlin was in. “Help me find a book I need for Intercultural Communication. You know I’m rubbish in libraries.”

“I thought you paper was due yester—“

“Merlin…”

Now his eyes were replaced with excitement. “Right, yes. Right over here I think…”

They both looked in all directions like meerkats before finding a far off corner with low lighting. Finally, Arthur curled his hand around the back of Merlin’s neck and swept him up into a deep kiss. He pushed Merlin up against a shelf where he got glances of titles like Beyond Good and Evil and Tao Te Ching. He had never been to this section of the library, and he had hoped no one else normally frequented it either.

“Shhh…” Merlin shushed him, pulling away after Arthur made a content sound in this throat. “You’re in a library.”

“Merlin, we’re in the Philosophy section. No one gives a—“

“Oh hey there gents.” Gwaine appeared around the corner.

Arthur flew away from Merlin, hoping nothing looked suspicious. Of all the people to walk in out of the thousands who attended that university… And in the morning, no less. Thank God Merlin had pulled away for his cliché coy act.

“Gwaine! It’s not even noon. You’re awake?” Arthur tried to hide his panic.

“This philosophy minor is keeping me from my signature lie-in. Just looking to see if they have The Art of Zen and Motorcycle Maintenance.”

He squeezed in between them, as if there was nothing strange about it. Merlin glanced at Arthur with astonishment. Arthur looked just as confused.

“Ah! Here it is. Someone had it checked out earlier this week. Don’t blame ‘em. It’s a page turner.”

“I can’t take you seriously with a book in your hands.” Arthur said.

“At least I can navigate a library mate. The picture books are on the other side.”

Arthur gave a phony laugh. Merlin of course, had to cover his mouth to hide his genuine one. Gwaine gave a small salute to signal his departure. He must have been busy to pass up a moment to chide Arthur more. When they were alone again, Arthur gave Merlin a nervous glance.

“Still ashamed I see...” Merlin said flatly. His shoulders slumped and he started walking back to the study area where his books were.

Arthur let out a tense sigh and followed. “Merlin please. This has all happened so quickly. I’m still adjusting…” It all did feel strange. After all, a few months ago he didn’t even remember anything about Merlin other then his name. Ever since they reconnected, Merlin has been like a monsoon crashing into his life and changing everything.

Funny thing about monsoons though: after the storm settles, the land flourishes.

But now they had taken a major step further into their strange soap opera-like relationship. Arthur didn’t exactly know how to handle it. It was frustrating that Merlin could somehow be okay with it like it was the most natural thing in the world.

Except it did feel like the most natural thing in the world. He and Merlin just clicked on every level. They could talk on equal intellectual levels, they got each other’s jokes, they knew how to react when the other was in distress, and their bodies reacted instinctively to each other’s touch. He had never felt like this before for anyone.

That realization was a lot to handle, and Arthur wished Merlin would just be a little more patient with him.
“I’m sorry,” was all he could think to say. “I’m not ashamed of you. That’s not it at all. It’s just… I’m still confused and new at this. I just need to handle it one crisis at a time. I’m passed the gay one!” He spread his arms and smiled like it was great news.

Merlin didn’t look too amused. “So which one are you at now?”

Arthur’s arms dropped to his side with a loud slap. “The adjusting period. I guess I just need to let this settle and believe it myself before I can expect anyone else to believe it too.”

Merlin was sitting in his chair again and looked down, clearly not able to look at Arthur just yet. Arthur knelt down on the floor to get close to Merlin’s face to whisper.

“Come to my tournament tonight.”

“Are you asking me on a date?”

“In my own weird way, yes. But I am not ashamed of you. And it would mean the world if I could look up into the bleachers and see you supporting me.”

“Who said I’d be rooting for you, prat?”

Arthur rolled his eyes and smiled. “Fine, you don’t need to cheer me on, but just looking up to see your face would be enough.”

Merlin blushed slightly and bit his bottom lip looking as if he was mulling it over. “Fine. But I expect my dates to put out.”

“Careful what you wish for.” Arthur whispered low in his ear while getting up. Then he headed straight for the reference desk, leaving Merlin looking scandalized. Arthur smirked back at him before mouthing “Seven o’clock. Be there.”

Arthur was shoveling down some bland pasta he made, trying to carb up before his match. Even though it was only a minor competition and only against members of his gym, it would determine if he would be fighting for regionals. In his mind, this was the toughest challenge.

Morgana burst in unannounced as usual. “Shouldn’t you hurry up? We’re going to be late!”

“Late fo’ wha’?” He said through a mouthful of spaghetti, wishing he at least had the culinary skill to heat up some sauce to help the flavor.

“Your fencing match? How brain damaged has practice made you Arthur?”

“Wait, you’re coming?”

“Of course I am. I’m your sister.”

“Half sister.”

“Which means I’m obligated only half the time. And today is one of those times. I want to support my brother.”

“There aren’t any attractive single men on the team. I know your taste well enough by now to make the assessment confidently.”

“That’s not why I’m going! Honestly, has Merlin taken all your love that there is no room in your heart for your own flesh and blood?”

“No he… what?” Arthur processed what she said after he put down his bowl, no longer hungry.

“Come now, Arthur, don’t think I didn’t notice. I know what your blue-balled face looks like. And I think it’s sweet. I was worried you had spent so much time hating our father that you had forgotten how to feel.”

How could she say that so calmly? Arthur rubbed the back of his head. The adrenaline had rushed into his system so fast, and left even faster that he felt numb. He had to sit down.

He felt the cushion next to him dip from Morgana joining him. She started to fix his hair where he had skewed it. “Why are you so scared of being happy?” She asked affectionately.

“It’s not that. How is everyone just okay with this? How is it everyone knows what I am feeling except me?”

“Maybe because you can’t see it.”

“See what?”

“See you smiling all the time. Or how you only come to the flat to sleep now instead of always staying in your room. You hardly complain about Uther anymore. You just look so… whole. Like you have been incomplete since the day Uther brought you home and told me you were my brother, when all I wanted was a mother again… But just like you somehow found a way to fit into that hole that was left in my life, Merlin has fit into yours. And it seems like a perfect fit.”

Arthur had to wonder what his face looked like as he gaped at Morgana while her hand stroked his hair. Certainly it was all back in place now, and it was probably her nervous habit, much like he often had to keep his hands busy when he was fidgety. His throat seemed blocked, and he felt something swelling in him so intense that it began to prickle in his eyes. Morgana looked just as vulnerable as he probably looked, but she kept herself composed.

“Morgana…”

“Skip to the part where I’m right please.” She retracted her hand, clearly holding back her emotions.

“Like I would give you the satisfaction!” He scoffed. But they both knew she was right. She smiled nonetheless and looked at him again.

“You got back what you lost Arthur. Don’t let it get away.”

Those words are what really sunk in.

It was like Merlin’s words about being ungrateful came back. Morgana will never get her mother back, and Merlin will never know his family. But Arthur had found the person most precious to him again, and he shouldn’t take that for granted or let it get away from him again.

“Speaking of losing,” Morgana’s tone changed. It was lighter and louder. Soulless Morgana was back. “Let’s get you to that tournament!”

Arthur gulped down his water after his third victory. His past opponents had been teammates he beat countless times in practices. There was no question he would win the last bout. This put him in the final match for epee which would determine who would fight to get into regional’s.

Elena came bouncing over to him looking very pleased. “Great win back there Arthur! I caught the tail end after my match against Sophia.”

“Did you win?”

“I did!” She beamed. “I’m going to represent our university in the foil division!”

He hugged her then, extremely happy and proud for her. “Congratulations!”

“Thanks!” He released her. “And I actually just walked passed Mordred’s strip…”

“And…?” Arthur hadn’t seen any of Mordred’s matches that day. But he assumed he was climbing the ranks too.

“He was winning 4 to 1 with only a minute to go…”

“Brilliant.” Arthur took another swing of water. He knew it would be Mordred he was facing, but he held on to a small speck of hope that maybe someone else would beat him first.

“But hey! You have a great cheering squad up there. I heard Merlin screaming over everyone.”

Arthur glanced into the crowd. It was a good turnout for just a gym competition. Merlin, Gwaine, Percy, Morgana, Gwen and Lance were all in the front row. Before and after all of his bouts, Arthur would look out and only see Merlin, smiling at him. He was glad no one could see his giddy grin under his mask.

A few minutes later, Leon announced over a loud speaker for Arthur’s number and Mordred’s, and which strip to attend for the bout.

Arthur took a deep breath and grabbed his mask and saber.

Elena gently touched his arm. “I’d really like to make it into regionals with you.”

He smiled at her. “I’ll do my best.”

Arthur walked to strip number four as ordered, and his eye line followed Elena who took a seat with Merlin and the others.

He walked to the center of the strip to meet Mordred. He looked surprisingly composed for someone who had fenced several bouts. It didn’t help reassure Arthur. He was suddenly getting nervous and feeling silly for it. It was just a small competition. But damn Mordred just looked so smug as he hooked up his saber.

Arthur glanced at the bleachers again. Merlin was smiling and gave him a thumbs up. He couldn’t imagine losing when Merlin was looking at him like that.

The referee ordered them to shake hands. Mordred clasped him hard at the wrist.

“May the best man win.” Arthur said.

“I certainly hope so.” Mordred somewhat tossed Arthur’s hand away.

They applied their masks and headed to opposite ends of the strip.

“On guard.” The referee yelled. Arthur’s saber flew to the front of his face. “Ready?” He spread his feet apart and held his arm out. “Fence!” The timer started at 3 minutes.

Clearly Mordred had been saving his energy for this fight, because he instantly lunged at Arthur. He didn’t want to shuffle backward. He wanted to stand his ground so show Mordred he was not intimidated. But he stumbled back anyway, swishing his saber toward Mordred’s sending them clashing back and forth.

Arthur was too focused on not letting the tip of Mordred’s sword anywhere near him, he didn’t realize how close he had gotten to the edge of the strip. He stopped and stood his ground. Mordred raised his arm for what looked like a hard thrust. Arthur instantly parried it. He used the recovery time Mordred needed to make his own thrust. He heard the buzz just as the tip of his sword collided with Mordred’s shoulder, but Mordred’s had hit him first.

“Point for Drews!”

Arthur swore under his breath. He had worn himself out in the previous matches, and Mordred had only preserved his energy.

They went back to their opening stances. The clock read 2:34. There was still time. He just needed more points then Mordred by the end of the count. At least now he could adjust his strategies. But he couldn’t sacrifice any more points just to gauge Mordred’s energy level.

“Fence!” He heard the ref yell.

Mordred didn’t charge at him this time. He hung back, stalling for time. Arthur couldn’t let that happen, so he shuffled forward and attempted a full lunge, which of course Mordred parried. Arthur attacked again, and when Mordred’s sword clashed with his, they were at a standstill, not sure who could move first. Arthur took his chance and slid his sword away to take a stab at Mordred’s foot. Mordred knocked his sword away, but they had both heard the buzz.

“Point for Pendragon!”

“Yeah Arthur!” He heard Merlin scream. The glee he felt from just hearing that voice say his name was immeasurable. He felt extremely proud then, and knew he had to win, because Merlin was watching.

The clock read 2:11. Not bad so far. At least he had a point to start with.

“Fence!”

This time they both met in the middle, but they were both playing it safe. They each gave quick thrusts that never made contact. They began chasing each other up and down the strip, light and quick on their toes. After a while Arthur got impatient, so he charged at Mordred. Their swords clashed, but he just kept pushing and pushing until he heard a buzz and felt a pain in his arm.

“Point for Drews!”

“Stop fighting like a girl Arthur!” Gwaine yelled.

“I resent that remark!” he heard Morgana because she said that just as loud. “Start fighting like a girl!”

He couldn’t be amused by their banter because damn it, now he was losing. He felt a pang of panic when he saw the clock read 1:07. How long had they been bouncing up and down that strip? He needed to manage at least two more points.

“You can do it Arthur!” He heard Merlin, and he turned to look at him. Again, it was like he and Merlin were on some kind of wavelength. He saw that smile and calmed down.

This time he didn’t focus on the ref’s count down. Just the thought of Merlin’s smile. It would be there if he won or if he lost. Arthur didn’t have to win in order for someone to be proud of him for once. The thought was extremely soothing and allowed Arthur to focus. Mordred came at him again, but Arthur stayed calm and stood his ground. He parried every thrust Mordred attempted until he saw an opening and lunged forward.

It was straight hit to the chest.

The clock read 29 seconds. It was just enough time.

“On guard.” He was going to win this fight. “Ready?” Like he was fighting for Merlin. Like if he lost he would lose him. Like the fight that had been raging within him for days. “Fence!”

This time Arthur lunged, using all his aggression from the past few weeks to fuel his attack. Mordred threw up his sword to block the hit. But Arthur kept lunging over and over, driving Mordred further and further back on the strip. They were on the edge now, and they’re swords were locked. He could see Mordred’s eyes through the screen of his mask. They glared back at him, daring him to move first.

So he did.

Arthur thrusted, and Mordred defended himself. But it was that block that made him lose his balance. Mordred stumbled back, first one foot, then two off the strip.

The ref blew his whistle.

“Both feet off the strip. Point for Pendragon!”

“Arthur refused to smile until he saw the clock. It read 2 seconds. Because it was the rules, they lined up again. But Mordred didn’t get far before the buzzer went off.

Arthur won.

He tore off his mask, biting back his smile to shake Mordred’s hand. He slowly removed his mask as well. Mordred looked defeated. His face was soaked in sweat, and his eyebrows were clearly holding back anger. Biting his lip, he shook Arthur’s hand.

“You’re a tough fight Drews.” Arthur tried not to smile too much. Because he honestly didn’t hate Mordred. He was thrilled he won, but not if things between them were only going to get worse.

But Mordred smiled, sly but genuine. “Don’t worry Pendragon. I won’t ever make it easy for you.”

It was good enough for now.

The last of the saber matches were still going on, but the gym was slowly clearing out. Arthur met his friends at the bleacher seats. The first one to stand and hug him was Gwen. This wasn’t the first time she had been to one of his fencing matches, and certainly wasn’t the first time she embraced him after a tricky bout. It felt like a tradition though, and he was thankful for this feeling of familiarity after everything that past week.

He explained the terminology of his sword for Lance who was extremely impressed and blown away at how much technology was involved in a medieval sport.

“It’s actually one of the safest sport in the world. Fewest deaths.” He informed Lance.

“Funny, coming from a sport that was actually invented to kill people.” Gwaine commented.

Elena started showing Morgana and Percy some pointers, and they had a pitiful duel off to the side of the gym, so Merlin could finally come up to Arthur.

“So? What did you think of your first fencing tournament?” Arthur asked.

“It was exceptionally boring to be honest.” Merlin was grinning.

“Oh really? Not enough blood for you?”

“Precisely. If it wasn’t for the fact that you looked ridiculously sexy in your gear, I would have stormed out.”

“It’s the cup isn’t it?” Arthur somewhat regretted the retort, because now Merlin was staring at his crotch in public. But they both laughed. Arthur was starting to feel a bit more comfortable about being openly intimate, but it was still very new.

But then Merlin was embracing him, and Arthur wrapped his arms around his back. “I’m proud of you.” He whispered in his ear. Arthur would never mention the fluttering feeling he got in his chest at those words but he was sure Merlin got the idea when he squeezed tighter.

He looked up after burying his face in Merlin’s neck to see Morgana smirking at him. He released Merlin and began picking up his gear.

“I should probably change.”

“Yeah, you sort of reek.” Merlin teased.

“Freshen up and we can hit the pub!” Morgana said. “Elena, please join us?”

“I’d love to!”

“Hurry up before Gwaine makes anymore ‘strip’ jokes.” Percy said.

“But they are just too easy!” Gwaine defended.

They weren’t at the pub too long. It was very crowded that Friday because students were celebrating the end of midterms. They still managed to have a great time. Elena was getting along famously with Percy and Gwaine because of their mutual love of video games. They even set up a match between the three of them for later that weekend. Morgana was teasing Lance and Gwen mercilessly now that the budding romance phase of their relationship was over and was now in full bloom. While she was going on nonstop about being “sex-ciled”, Arthur and Merlin kept on catching each other eyes. At one point Merlin began to play footsy with him, he even went so far as to slip off his shoe and glide his foot up Arthur’s ankle. The action sent shivers through him in ways he thought weren’t possible while in public. It was like torture. Merlin was punishing him for not being more open about their relationship. Arthur just glared at Merlin’s wicked grin.

Finally the sexual frustration was too much. “Well for hopefully understandable reasons, I’m exhausted. I’m heading out.” Arthur stood up and got a glance at Merlin’s crushed face.

Arthur took a breath and clenched his fist to distract himself from the nervous fluttering in his chest. “Merlin,” he addresses seriously, “You coming?”

Merlin looked around confused, as if he thought no one else had heard it. Morgana raised a brow at him.

Gwaine finally broke the silence, “About bloody time mate! The sexual tension was just too much.”

Arthur relaxed, but was quickly annoyed. “So wait, everyone knew?”

“You two are obvious. And you’ve been eye fucking all evening.” Percy said.

“Elena?” Arthur asked, looking at her as if she was his last hope.

“Sorry love.” She shrugged.

Arthur would have been annoyed if it wasn’t for Merlin beaming. Arthur took him by the wrist and dragged him out. “Let’s go Merlin. I refuse to be around these peasants.”

“Hope you’re not too exhausted Arthur!” Morgana cheered after him as they left.

The feeling of freedom was undeniable after they left. Even if Arthur was embarrassed that all his friends knew about him fancying Merlin, even before he knew.

All of that melted away once they were in his dimly lit bedroom alone.

Arthur asked for Merlin to wait a moment while he took a shower. He knew he still smelled like a fencer, which he was all too familiar with, and wouldn’t subject Merlin to the horror for long. Butterflies were in Arthur’s stomach as he thought of the prospects of the night ahead with his newly dubbed boyfriend.

Boyfriend. Holy hell, this was happening.

Merlin was sitting on his bed when he came back. He had the Arthurian book in his hands again, but quickly put it down, thinking Arthur hadn’t seen.

“The story is still the same you know.”

“I know.” Merlin looked away with a nervous smile. He looked like he was caught in the mist of a crime.

“Something wrong?”

“Nothing. Just you keeping me waiting, again.” Merlin now smiled genuinely. Arthur tried to not take offense. He never wanted to be the cause of Merlin waiting ever again.

Arthur crawled up behind him on the bed. He glanced down at Merlin’s exposed neck. He gave no warning other then the dip in the bed from his knees, and gently pressed his lips to the skin. Merlin froze and inhaled sharply. Arthur continued to worship the back of his neck with feather light kisses, and wrapped his hands around Merlin’s shoulders.

“Arthur…” Merlin whispered.

“Shhh,” Arthur cut him off. Arthur felt himself become possessed as he felt Merlin’s skin warm under his palms. Suddenly he was no longer nervous and embarrassed. All he wanted to do was be with Merlin. He wanted to touch him and gratify him anyway he could. This was the first time they could be together alone without any time restrictions, he had just won his ticket to the Camelot Cup, and he could now be open about his relationship, so he wanted to make this night special.

“Just let me…” Arthur whispered low, directly into Merlin’s ear. Arthur adjusted himself, sitting on his heels, a knee on either side of Merlin while remaining behind him. He pulled Merlin back so he was leaning directly on Arthur’s chest. He felt Merlin relax, and watched his eyes closed, drinking in the feeling of Arthur’s lips.

Neither of them knew what they were doing. Arthur just went along with whatever his body told him to do. They had messed around and experimented throughout the week. Pleasing the male body was still so new to Arthur, but he was so eager to learn. Each day he got more intimately closer with Merlin, the stronger his urge to please him became. This drive caused Arthur to easily overcome any opposition he had over touching another man. The need to please Merlin was too strong to worry about any taboos he previously held.

This felt way too right, so he gave up questioning it. The acceptance was liberating.

Arthur’s hands slowly slipped under Merlin’s shirt. He gently pulled it up. Merlin lifted his arms without opening his eyes and allowed Arthur to strip him. The permission made Arthur feel so trusted. Merlin was allowing Arthur to expose him, and he was flooded with affection.

Arthur continued to nip at Merlin throat and shoulders while his hands roamed Merlin’s outline and spread his palms across Merlin’s pale chest, running his fingers through the thin dark hair. His thumb brushed over Merlin’s nipple and traced the bottom of his surprisingly hard pectoral muscle. This made Merlin’s head roll back, so now his head leaned on the side of Arthur’s neck. His mouth went slack, so all his natural sounds were vocalized. Arthur now had more excess to Merlin’s neck, and licked eagerly at the new terrain which earned him content noises from Merlin

It was slow and marvelous. Arthur just kissed and touched, while Merlin trembled and groaned, clearly loving the delicious tease. Merlin’s erection was impossible to hide. There was a clear bulge in his trousers, which only fueled Arthur’s desire. Arthur’s hands wrapped around Merlin to reach his button and zipper, which he undid slowly. There was no objection from Merlin, so Arthur slipped his hands under the waistband of both his trousers and pants, then glided his hands under Merlin’s arse to slip them off. Merlin lifted up slightly to assist. They fell right to his ankles.

Arthur had a clear view of Merlin’s naked body from where he was, and his hands had access to every part. His right hand went straight for Merlin’s dark hard cock that contrasted from his pale skin. The touch made Merlin spread his legs wider and gasp, hooking the back of his knees onto Arthur’s. His flexibility was a pleasant surprise, and now he was fully exposed for Arthur. Arthur didn’t reach to relieve him immediately. Instead he let his fingers explore. He felt down to his balls and massaged his inner thigh, drawing out the pleasure. He watched Merlin’s chest rise and fall. Merlin’s reactions distracted Arthur’s mouth from kissing.

Sensing Merlin’s impatience through his fidgeting and wiggling, Arthur’s fingers curled around Merlin’s cock and pumped slowly. Merlin’s back arched as he let out a slow and long moan. Arthur’s other hand slid from Merlin’s neck, under his arm, and back to his chest, where he pinched and rolled Merlin’s nipple gently.

“Ah! Oh Arth—“ He could hardly talk in between gasps.

“God Merlin…” Arthur had to speak if Merlin’s couldn’t. But his voice was just as wrecked. Arthur quickened the pace of his hand. Merlin’s hips started jerking, thrusting as best he could to meet Arthurs pace. Feeling Merlin’s hips move between his legs did nothing to sooth Arthur’s arousal. Between that and Merlin’s now screaming noises, Arthur would probably come without any assistance.

Merlin reached his arm up, and his hand grabbed at Arthur’s hair from behind. Arthur felt himself being pushed forward where he met Merlin’s open and greedy mouth, straining up to reach his. Arthur swallowed all Merlin’s sounds and whimpers that were trapped in his hot wet mouth. Merlin’s hand stayed wrapped around Arthur’s head, as if to remind him he had power over Arthur too, which was absolutely accurate.

When Merlin got louder, Arthur knew he was close. He moved to nibble at Merlin’s ear when the kissing could no longer contain Merlin’s gasps. He whispered and licked at the weak spot on Merlin’s ear, “Merlin, fuck… you like this, don’t you…” It was more of a statement then a question, but Arthur need the confirmation. Judging by the sounds and Merlin’s quivering, he loved this.

“Yes, Arthur I—oh God yes, Arthur!” Time seemed to slow, and Arthur felt the wave of Merlin’s orgasm pulse through his body, from his hips and up to his shoulders, then back down again, causing his legs to jerk and his toes to curl in the air. Arthur pumped slower so it would last, because he could stare at Merlin’s blissed out face forever.

When Merlin recovered, he slouched in Arthur arms, clearly worn out. It made Arthur freakishly proud. He wiped the come he caught in his hands on the side of his bed quickly so he could tend to Merlin. He held Merlin in his arms, and they both fell to the bed. Arthur held him through his after glow, his hand caressing and soothing Merlin’s back because he just couldn’t take his hands off him. Not yet.

“No fair.” Merlin said in a fragile voice, clearly still recovering. “I’m naked, and you’re very much clothed.”

“Sorry to break it to you, but life isn’t always fair.”

Merlin playfully shoved him with his hand, but it wasn’t hard at all. He suddenly sat up, his eyes full of mischief. It was as if he was revived, and quickly straddled Arthur. “What are you doing?” He asked.

“Getting justice.” Merlin leaned down to say in his ear. When he straightened up again, his hands were instantly under Arthur’s shirt and pulling it over his head, eager to get at his skin. Arthur gawked, both insanely aroused and also impressed with Merlin’s recovery.

Merlin’s hands firmly grabbed at Arthur chest and glided gently up to his shoulders. He leaned down to give him a chaste kiss. The change of pace was nice, and allowed Arthur to cool down a bit.

Arthur should know by now that Merlin was always full of surprises.

Merlin strayed from Arthur’s mouth to kiss his jaw. Merlin journeyed down the center of his neck, sucking at his Adam’s apple until Arthur had to toss his head as far back into the pillow as it would go and groan. Arthur’s hands traced over every line and arch on Merlin back. He could reach all the way down to his arse, which he rubbed at and squeezed tenderly, admiring it’s form with his palms like a sculptor. God, this body was a work of art.

Merlin scooted down, his mouth now becoming more aggressive and sucking bruises into Arthur’s chest. It made Arthur squirm under Merlin with anticipation. He then kissed a line down Arthur’s happy trail of thin light blonde hair. Arthur glanced down and saw Merlin peek up at him. Those eyes peering out from his long lashes—face still occupied by Arthur’s skin—made Arthur truly appreciate how lovely Merlin looked, and how passionately he was touching him. There had been emotion in every move they had made that night. The thought made Arthur smile, and he felt Merlin’s lips curl on his stomach.

His jeans began to slowly slip off while Merlin preoccupied himself licking at the thin sensitive skin of Arthur’s waist. The tease was becoming unbearable, and the simple release of his cock from the tight jeans was a great relief. Merlin’s lips still didn’t leave Arthur’s skin, and he kissed a trail right to Arthur’s groin, then up the shaft, and finally he licked at the leaking tip. Arthur’s head turned to the side to gasp into the pillow, feeling a relaxing roll of pleasure surge through him.

Then Merlin’s hot mouth was swallowing him. Arthur couldn’t hold back a loud full moan that climbed out his throat. They hadn’t done this before. Arthur had always hid the desire in the back of his mind, because getting sucked was undeniably his favorite way to get off. The few times he had received the honor, however, the girls had all been extremely inexperienced and timid. It felt brilliant nonetheless, but Merlin doing it was a whole new satisfaction he never knew existed. His tongue was pressing hard against the bottom of the head, and his hand remained tightly clamped at the bottom to ensure maximum pleasure. Of course another bloke would be good at giving head, but he didn’t know Merlin was that good.

Just when Arthur had been soothed into a lazy and steady bliss that made his whole body hum and relax, Merlin’s tongue was on his balls, while his hand continued to pump at Arthur’s cock in rhythm with his lapping tongue. This made Arthur legs jerk up so he was bending his knees, an automatic reaction to such a rush of pleasure. He really began to lose it when he heard Merlin groaning along with him, vocalizing the pleasure he had just from the taste of Arthur. He couldn’t stop himself from trembling.

Then that wicked tongue just had to go and lick its skillful tip quickly up his shaft, then instantly swallow Arthur whole, going as deep as Merlin’s throat would allow. Arthur’s entire body convulsed and he didn’t even realize he had shouted until his back flopped down on the bed and his hands were clutching the sheet. “Oh Merlin…” His voice was rough. He was astonished he could even talk still while Merlin’s arms were completely wrapped around his legs, as if holding him there so the taste of Arthur couldn’t get away from him.

Merlin’s head started bobbing quickly now, and Arthur’s breaths were hitching in his throat. His hips wanted to thrust into Merlin’s mouth, but he didn’t even need to because Merlin was just that quick, and the pace was perfect.

“—gonna come…” He warned, but as he feared, Merlin didn’t move.

God no, that would just be too perfect.

Arthur saw only white in front of his eyes when he squeezed them shut, his orgasm crashing intensely through him. His body shook, and he was vaguely aware of the loud cry he made, and he hoped he somehow got Merlin’s name in there, because he knows he was thinking it the whole time. His peak only continued on and on because Merlin’s hot mouth swallowing his climax drew it out.

He felt his legs drop heavily to the bed, and then a warm body pressed up to his side. He knew it was Merlin of course, but he was still in the stage of his after glow where nothing felt real. The feeling of Merlin’s scruffy hair tickled his neck when he first felt him nuzzling up to him. Arthur couldn’t help but think how truly adorable it was, but assumed boys didn’t appreciate being called adorable. So he kept it to himself as he wrapped an arm around Merlin.

“So does the king love the warlock in the end?” Arthur found himself asking as Merlin’s fingers were stroking his chest.

“God, not that story. Damn Elena for bringing it up… “ Merlin didn’t look away from the shapes he was tracing in Arthur’s chest hair. There was a ghost of Merlin’s breath on Arthur’s skin as he exhaled a sigh. “Figured it out, did you?” He sounded defeated.

Arthur stroked Merlin’s hair. “Wasn’t very original. Sounds awfully familiar.”

Merlin stopped his hand to wrap it around Arthur’s side and squeeze possessively. The memory of waiting for his king was still painful, even after they found each other again.

“I want to read it.” Arthur said.

“No way. Besides, it’s not even finished. Just a quick story for a class really. Don’t even know how it ends.” His words tickled Arthur’s still sensitive skin. But the words sunk in.

He honestly wasn’t sure how this would end either.

“Just as well. Bet you’re a dreadful writer anyway.”

“Almost as dreadful as your ability to finance.”

“Touché.”

Sometimes Arthur forgot why they were there. His education and future seemed so distant and pushed aside. It felt like he was just going through the motions and was numb to any thoughts of the future, because he honestly couldn’t picture it. He couldn’t fathom running Dragon Technologies because it never felt real. So hearing Merlin, the best real thing in his life right now, mention his destiny was somewhat jarring, even though he had never given Merlin’s future a thought.

“So you want to be a writer?” Arthur asked, a bit ashamed he didn’t know.

“Don’t know yet. I do like writing. I like creating something out of nothing, you know?” Merlin sat up, leaning on his elbow. Arthur watched, enchanted, as Merlin’s hands began to animate as he spoke and his eyes lit up with excitement. “Watching a blank page becoming decorated with just words that I want. You watch time take a physical form in the pages you pass. And words, they last forever you know? Unlike buildings or companies. Those all deteriorate with time, but books are thoughts, and once they are out there, they can’t be taken away. It’s like… I dunno, magic to me. How words just appear at my fingers and have meaning…” He stopped abruptly looking embarrassed. “God that was cheesy. I sound like such lit major. Sorry…”

Adorable.

“Don’t be.” Arthur meant it. “You’re passionate. You found something you love to do, and that’s amazing.”

Merlin still didn’t look at him, but Arthur saw his thin smile stretch his full lips. Arthur moved to sit up with Merlin, feeling energy return to him.

“And you?” Merlin asked. “Where are your passions? Does updating hard drives send your heart a-flutter?”

“Ha. Ha.” Arthur made his sarcasm clear. It wasn’t a subject he liked talking about. “Computers are so complicated and really rather boring. I get business and economics and all, but… I dunno. I’ve never felt that drive that you clearly have. It’s kinda just been the only thing I have ever steered towards though.”

“Come on. There has to be something.”

Arthur crossed his arms over his bare chest. Partly because a chill had set in over his naked body. But also because he couldn’t believe how difficult the question was.

“Well I did intern with the advertising department for a year.”

“Did you like it?”

“More than I thought I would. My father just wanted me to be productive since I was putting off university for a year and stuck me wherever there was an opening. I assumed it would just be boring trite tag lines. But the process is really complex. All the pitches and drafts and designing. And the people were so diverse. It takes so many skills just to put together an ad. You need designers, researchers, and artists… And at the end of the day you feel so accomplished, because you made something that was going to speak to hundreds or thousands of people.”

“Sounds like a passion to me.” Merlin made a sly face, like he weaseled out a secret. But it was a secret Arthur didn’t even know until that moment.

“Doesn’t matter. I’m gonna be a CEO. It’s all I’ve ever been told to do.”

“But that’s silly. Why should you have to do that? You want to work in adverts, so why can’t you?”

“Because that’s not what my father wants. I’ve had to plan my life around it. It’s not that simple to change.”

“But it’s not fair.”

“It’s business.”

“It’s stupid.” Now Merlin looked psychically upset. He was sitting up straighter to glare at Arthur.

“What do you want me to do Merlin? Just drop what I’m doing and follow my dreams down some flowery rainbow? Maybe sing a song about it then dance into the sunset to my happy ending? Well it doesn’t work like that.”

Arthur didn’t mean to raise his voice. But he did, and now Merlin seemed to retreat, as if Arthur’s tone actually pushed him away like a wind.

“But... I thought you didn’t like him.”

“That has nothing to do with anything.”

“I know he’s your father, but you shouldn’t let him pressure you…”

“You don’t know anything.” Venom found its way into Arthur’s words. This wasn’t a subject he wanted to talk about. Not tonight. Tonight was supposed to be a special night with Merlin. Merlin was supposed to understand him, not make him question his decisions. And he was tired of people telling him what he felt or what he should do. “So what if that’s not what I want? Since when have I ever gotten that luxury anyway? This is something I have to do because whether I like it or not I am his son, and if that’s what I have to do to be considered a part of his family, then I will! No matter how much I don’t want to.”

There were reasons Arthur hated talking about Uther. And this was one of them. Too many emotions and inner turmoil would get let loose. He may not like his father, but he did want his father to like him. Arthur didn’t want to be that burden in an orphanage, some unwanted responsibility meant to be dealt with when convenient. He was a Pendragon, damn it, whether they liked it or not. He would make Uther rueful for trying to leave him.

It was all stupid and childish. Arthur knew that this was a warped and twisted way to think. But it had haunted him ever since he learned the truth and saw the shoes he had to fill. He put on this façade of despising his own flesh and blood, which he honestly did for all the emotional damage. But he sincerely worried about the possibility of Uther wishing he had just never found Arthur. The most logical revenge seemed to be proving him wrong.

But could Merlin see that? Judging by his glossy eyes and hurt expression, probably not. Arthur felt the stab of guilt over screwing this up, again.

“Merlin…”

“I think I’ll just go. I’m tired.”

No.

“But it’s late. Please don’t… stay here.”

Don’t leave. Not after all this.

Merlin glanced at the clock. It actually was far too late to walk back to campus safely. He glanced at Arthur, seeing no escape.

“I’ll take the couch.”

It was good enough. Maybe they could patch it up in the morning.

Their goodnights to each other were distant. It killed Arthur when he shut his door, leaving Merlin on the couch with the spare sheets and duvet. That’s not where he should be. Merlin should be in the bed with Arthur. After what they had done together that night, after the passion they shared, it felt wrong having him so far away.

It had all happened so fast. One moment they are together and happy, kissing and groping and proving their affection for one another with their bodies. And now Arthur had gone and cocked it up. Merlin’s body was no longer close, and Arthur craved it. He craved not just the physical proximity, but also just that feeling of fitting together that they had experience earlier that night. The feeling of completeness after years of searching and waiting. It haunted Arthur as he tossed and turned trying to sleep.

He somehow drifted into unconsciousness. Only to that place between sleep and awake where everything was hazy. He was certain that his subconscious was plaguing his warring mind with thoughts of Merlin. He remembered flashes of his body, his textured back, his firm chest, the spot on his neck that Arthur loved to kiss that made Merlin sigh, those lips on his, that sound of his low voice…

“Arthur…” His mind was becoming crueler, taunting him with even more realistic visions of his lost lover.

“Arthur…” Merlin’s pained voice came again. This time it caused Arthur to stir and roll over to face the door. His eyes peeked open and slowly focused on a dim light from his now open door with a familiar silhouette standing there.

Could his dreams be that unrelenting? Merlin looked so real standing there, his face wrought with concern. It made Arthur want to hold him and rock him until he looked calmer.

“Merlin…?” he addressed the blessed apparition, willing it to be real.

“I can’t sleep.”

Arthur sat up slightly at those familiar words. Perhaps it was with the assistance of his muddled mind, where memories and thoughts were bleeding together, but those words brought him back.

Only this was real. He wasn’t reliving a precious memory or being fooled by a guilt-ridden vision. This was actually Merlin before him, swaying on his unsure feet at his bedroom door, his fingers fidgeting out of nervousness.

Merlin came back.

Arthur had no words. He was overjoyed, but still cautious, their fight and anger still fresh in their blood. All he could do was show his apology.

Arthur moved over to the far side of his bed and flipped open the duvet, inviting Merlin in.

The act was familiar from there. Like clock work. Merlin closed the door, and the room returned to pitch black. Arthur couldn’t see Merlin, but Merlin somehow found his way to the bed. Arthur felt the weight of him as his climbed onto the mattress and pulled the warm duvet over himself. Arthur remained silent, as if Merlin was a delicate creature he could scare off. Even though he couldn’t see, Arthur’s eyes remained open, staring at the ceiling.

He didn’t even move when he felt Merlin’s warm bare torso press up against his. Merlin’s arms wrapped around him. It shouldn’t have felt strange. This it what they did as children when they were scared. But they were no longer innocent kids scared of the dark in an orphanage. They were adults, with new thoughts and feelings and fears. They were scared of their futures and of their desires. These weren’t things that could be left in a closet and shielded by sheets. These fears lay between them now, as bare as their skin.

But what hadn’t changed was the courage Arthur felt with Merlin by his side. He was sure Merlin felt the same. They were in this together.

Judging by the trail of light kisses Merlin left on Arthur’s shoulder, his intentions were not as innocent as they had been years ago. With each kiss, Arthur felt his fears leave him. Merlin calmed him with his mouth and hands, as if each was subtly forgiving him. It made Arthur relax at last, because things were going to be okay. They may not be fixed yet, but Arthur and Merlin existed to fix each other. Arthur had never felt surer about anything until that moment.

It may have been his sleepy delirium, but everything Merlin did felt brilliant. Arthur’s skin felt over sensitive, and he was becoming increasingly aware of his early morning wood that had already formed after his first attempt at sleep.

Merlin continued to curl around Arthur, kissing his shoulder and neck. He didn’t seem as tired as he should be, or maybe he was possessed by that mid-sleep arousal as well. Arthur wasn’t complaining. As his body became more aware of the desire burning in him, he began to squirm under Merlin’s touch, and sigh at his kisses.

Finally Arthur reciprocated, assuming it was now allowed, and in the dark his lips found Merlin’s. He couldn’t see Merlin’s reactions or his handsome face, but the kisses in the dark were somehow just as precious. The lack of sight was made up for in touch, and it made everything feel sharper and more intense.

The kisses escalated. They went from weary and timid pecks to open mouth and hungry.

“I’m sorry.” Arthur whispered in the dark.

“Its okay. I’m here now.” Merlin said low, fitting in words between kisses.

“Don’t leave me again.”

“Never. I’ll always find my way back.”

“Merlin…”

Their tongues danced in each other’s mouths, licking up each other’s sounds while their hands caressed each other’s faces. Their legs wrapped around one another. Arthur’s body was acutely aware of everywhere they were touching.

But it wasn’t enough.

Merlin sensed it too. He was pulling at Arthur’s pants he wore to sleep, and shucking off his own shortly after.

Skin to skin.

Arthur wanted to give himself over to Merlin completely. He needed to show Merlin how much he meant to him, that he was all his. He wanted to prove how much affection and devotion he felt. How it went on burning bright for years and would continue forever.

“I want…” he tried saying. But no words seemed right or appropriate to ask.

“Yes…?” Merlin growled at the side of his mouth. Arthur could tell he knew his intentions, but the tease wanted him to say it. He wanted to hear Arthur voice his desires.

“God… Merlin let’s… please let me show you how much I…”

“What?”

“…I love you.”

He felt Merlin lean away, and a slight panic struck him until he heard Merlin open and close his bedside table drawer. He had probably seen Arthur’s lube and condoms there the many times he went into the drawer looking to borrow his charger. Arthur wanted to be embarrassed for never thinking about leaving those there, but now he was grateful when he heard Merlin pop the cap of the lube open.

Arthur reached out to feel for Merlin’s arm, and traced it down to his hand. It was between Merlin’s legs, and he followed Merlin’s fingers to where he was prepping himself. Arthur heard Merlin’s breaths become tenser at the intrusion. Arthur was new to this, but he imagined it must feel uncomfortable. So he held and stroked Merlin’s hand while kissing his neck until Merlin’s mouth was gasping in pleasure, and his fingers increased speed with the improving ease.

The temptation was too much. Arthur moved his finger to be next to Merlin’s, then waited for permission. Merlin realized his intentions, and removed his finger to allow Arthur in. He swallowed his nerves, and slowly inserted a finger, surprised at how much Merlin had relaxed the muscle there. Even though Arthur only used one finger, like Merlin had been using, Merlin gasped loudly, and his body shook. The sensation of someone else was clearly more stimulating.

Merlin was warm, and the feeling of fingering a boy wasn’t as weird as Arthur initially thought it would be. And Merlin’s sounds drove him to want more. Arthur added another finger, feeling more tension this time. But he kept a slow and steady rhythm until Merlin’s whimpers turned into grunts again. He added a third, worried about the tightness he felt. Merlin’s hand gripped Arthur’s shoulder, clearly feeling more pain. His protective instincts took over, so he stilled his hand to calm his lover. “Shh, it’s okay Merlin. I can stop…”

“No!” Merlin’s grip tightened, as if it was more painful to stop then keep going. “Please… I need you.”

Arthur moaned from those words alone, so he continued, slower. Merlin’s grip began to loosen, and his whole body relaxed. “Feels…. It feels good.” Merlin whispered, practically out of breath. His words calmed Arthur more then they probably did Merlin himself. “Okay… you can stop. I’m ready.”

Arthur’s nerves were back. This was happening. But his desire was far stronger then his reluctance. He felt around the bed for one of the condoms. He took his time, even though every fiber of his being just wanted to be in Merlin, but he couldn’t risk putting it on wrong in the dark.

The condom felt secure and correct. He rolled over to try and face Merlin. He wanted to ask how this would be most comfortable, but Merlin was more eager than him. Merlin reached over and tugged at Arthur’s shoulder, urging him to lie on top of his body. Merlin placed his legs around Arthur’s hips and kept his hands on his shoulder.

“Arthur…” Merlin’s voice was already wrecked. “I love you too.”

“Merlin…” All he could do was kiss him. It was sweet and soft.

It was loving.

“I just wanted to prove it to you. By, well, you know…” Arthur couldn’t see, but he was sure Merlin was blushing.

Arthur laced one of his hands with Merlin’s before lining up his hard cock with Merlin’s slicked up hole. “I know. And I intend to show you how much I love you too.”

“Well then,” Merlin trusted his hips up. “Show me already.”

Arthur would have retorted, but he couldn’t wait any longer. He lowered himself to get the right angle, then used his hand to guide himself to the right spot. Slowly he pushed. He heard Merlin hiss from the resistance. It made Arthur want to stop, but Merlin wrapped his legs around Arthur waist. Arthur kept the same pace, feeling Merlin’s fingers squeeze his flesh. Finally, he was fully seated inside, and they both let out gasps as if they were holding their breath.

Arthur retreated slowly as well. Merlin’s sounds remained in his throat this time. When Arthur gently trusted, Merlin’s grip had loosened. It became easier with each move, but Arthur refused to speed up until he knew Merlin was all right.

Merlin made it clear he was ready when his hips started bucking to meet Arthur, and his sounds were now low moans. Arthur found a rhythm, and kept up a steady pace that pleased them both. Now that Arthur could relax and not worry about a pained Merlin beneath him, he was able to focus on how bloody brilliant this felt. Merlin was tight and hot, and his skin felt perfect whenever they got close enough to feel. The sounds and movements from Merlin made the whole thing feel even more exhilarating.

Merlin’s hand wiggled out of Arthur’s. He heard a quick, slick sound that he assumed was Merlin stroking his own hard cock fast. Merlin’s sounds were getting higher pitched, and Arthur felt a swelling determination to make Merlin feel amazing.

Arthur moved faster, attempting to get as much of his cock out as he could before pushing back in hard. A sound from deep within Merlin’s chest escaped, and he actually began to yell with pleasure. Arthur was hitting something right, so he kept going, getting off mostly on Merlin’s reactions.

Arthur came first, it was so fast, and his voice didn’t have time to give any cues. He slowed his thrusts to ride it out, but remained seated inside Merlin until he heard his name. “Arthur…! Ah!” Merlin’s body went ridged. Arthur felt Merlin’s legs around his waist tremble and Merlin’s back even lifted off the bed for a moment. Arthur wished it wasn’t dark so he could see Merlin’s face, but just the feeling was enough.

The bed stilled. Merlin was panting once his arm dropped to his side. Arthur slowly removed himself, but instantly missed the warmth, even if his cock was over sensitive. He rolled off the condom and tossed it in the nearby rubbish bin, eager to curl up to Merlin.

His Merlin.

They fell asleep together in their proper place beside each other.

“Point for Pendragon.”

Arthur was on top of the world, his happiness fueling his every move. During the next few weeks, life seemed surreal. Arthur finally mastered university life. He felt like he belonged at last and wasn’t the new kid playing catch-up. Their posse hung out everyday and made fun plans regularly. With more hours in the gym and Leon as his couch, Arthur’s fencing had never been better. The practice was partially to thank for his current victories.

“You can do it Arthur!”

Arthur smiled in his mask hearing Merlin cheer him on. Merlin was also to thank for the overflowing joy in his life right now. They were a proper couple now, including dates, a drawer for Merlin in his flat, and public displays of affection. Normally if Arthur was outside of the situation he would find the behavior a bit nauseating. They couldn’t help it. They had each other again, in more ways than they could have hoped for.

The buzzer went off right as Arthur thrust forward and felt the tip of his sword collide with his opponents shoulder.

“Point for Pendragon. 3 to 1! Pendragon wins!”

He tamed his extremely wide grin when he took off his mask to shake his opponents hand. It was his fifth bout of the day, but his energy levels were still high. Leon was the first to approach him after, and he was positively beaming.

“Excellent fight Arthur! You made it! Ready to represent Albion at regionals?”

“You bet your silver metal I am!”

Leon gave him an affectionate pat on the back and side hug. He looked at Arthur with such pride, and it made his heart swell to see a mentor look at him like that. Leon had been the greatest coach by far, and Arthur would continue to make him proud.

They both went to the sign up booth to fill out paper work for the regional championship. Leon had to leave after he filled out his portion since Elena’s final match was about to begin. Arthur stood off to the side, trying to balance his saber and mask under his am while he filled out the information on a clip board, a smile still making his face sore.

He felt a hand grab his shoulder to try and get his attention. Arthur turned around, and his smile relaxed.

“Dad?”

“Afternoon Arthur.”

Uther was in a suit of course. It was one of his more casual ones. He could never be out of the role of the businessman, no matter where he was. He looked very out of place. Judging by his facial expression, Uther felt that way too.

“What’re you doing here? You didn’t tell me you were coming.”

“Well I heard you were excelling in your fencing competitions again, so I wanted to stop by and see. I watched you win your last match. Glad all those years of lessons haven’t gone to waste.”

Arthur would think he was just being spiteful. The thing that threw off his usual assumption, however, was Uther smiling through his explanation. Perhaps he actually was here to support Arthur.

Arthur found himself giving his father a humble smile in return. “Well er- thanks dad. I couldn’t think of a more pleasant surprise.” He meant that honestly. Remembering his current task, Arthur held up his clipboard. “As a matter a fact, here’s a surprise for you too. I’ll be competing in the regional championship this winter.”

Uther averted his eyes to his own feet and brought his hands to his hips. Arthur knew this stance. It meant Uther was about to say something difficult. Arthur had seen it enough to know what it meant. Usually it was before competitions when Uther wouldn’t be able to make it because of a meeting.

“Yes. That is an impressive accomplishment. But I have come with even better news. I just came back from a meeting with Dray. One of the board members is looking for an intern. They can even manipulate your class schedule so that you’ll have plenty of work hours that won’t interfere with classes. Of course, with work and school being your main priorities, you won’t have time for… other activities.” He gestured to Arthur’s saber resting at his side. All Arthur could do was gape at him, his mouth hung open with words he couldn’t even fathom yet. How dare his father just show up unannounced, then treat Arthur’s hard work like it didn’t even matter. Now the inescapable corporate hole he was being throw down was only getting deeper, and Arthur just wanted to climb out. This inevitable fate had been so far from Arthur’s mind with his recent overwhelming happiness, his father’s news didn’t even seem real. It was like a nightmare.

“But… I just made it to the next tournament. This is one of the largest fencing competitions of the year. I made a commitment to my team already to represent my university…”

“Surely there is someone to replace you.” Arthur could see the smirk on Mordred’s face already.

“I didn’t work this hard to get replaced!”

“Maybe if you focused that work ethic on something that actually was beneficial…”

“Oh sod the internship! Not everything has to be for the benefit of your company. I have a life! And it doesn’t revolve around bloody Dragon Technology!”

“This isn’t some silly club Arthur! This is your future!” Uther wasn’t yelling, unlike Arthur had been. His voice was sharp and stern. It was almost worse than yelling.

“Well maybe I don’t want that for my future.”

“I beg your pardon?” Uther honestly looked like he didn’t comprehend Arthur’s words.

Arthur leaned in and mimicked his father’s low stern voice almost perfectly. “I don’t want your company. I never have. Despite what you think, I don’t need it.” Arthur scribbled on the last line of his registration information and slammed that clipboard on the table. “And I don’t need you.”

Arthur began to storm away, but Uther followed him. “Really? Then how do you expect to stay at Albion University if you don’t need me? Or buy all your fencing equipment? Or give you a place to live? Are you gonna throw all that away too? Along with the opportunities I am offering you?”

Arthur turned around. His anger was coloring his face and burning in his gut. He didn’t plan on holding back anything. “Yes. As a matter of fact, I do. I never wanted to go to some posh business school and have a phony flat and just go along with the life you planned for me. Believe it or not, I don’t owe you anything, just because you decided to remember I existed then forced your lifestyle upon me. That’s not how life works. So if you are just gonna hold your shallow wealth over my head, then I’ll tell you now; you can have it all back. I’m leaving.”

It wasn’t until after Arthur said it, he realized he meant it. He disappeared into the locker room before his father could retort. The burning feeling in his gut was now in his eyes. He cried silently as he tore off his fencing gear and packed to leave.

He went out the back door of the arena so his father had no chance of following him. He took out his anger on the ground. He was stomping away so hard and fast he thought he may be leaving deep footprints in his wake.

“Arthur! There you are!” If it were anyone other than Merlin, Arthur wouldn’t have stopped. Merlin ran up to him with a smile so wide that perhaps Arthur should have been concerned it might hurt. Even that wide grin was no match for Arthur’s hard scowl. Merlin’s face melted instantly.

“Arthur? What happened? We were waiting for you. Gwaine, Morgana and all them went to get Elena. She’ll be going to regionals with you too! That’s great right?” Arthur looked away. “Right Arthur?”

“Merlin… I won’t be going to regionals. And I’m leaving Albion.”

Merlin’s wide eyes could have rivaled his previous grin. It killed Arthur that it was his fault for replacing that wonderfully happy face with such a painful look of concern. “My father showed up. He wanted me to throw away fencing and start working for a businessman. I don’t know what happened… But that was just the last straw. I threw it all back in his face. I threw back fencing, and university. Even the flat. And I plan to show him how wrong he is so… I’m leaving.”

“Arthur stop! This is way to rash. Think about what you’re doing. This doesn’t have to be an all or nothing situation. We can work something out.”

“No Merlin I- I have to do this. I can’t stand being here, or that flat. He is everywhere and I can’t stand it! I’m sorry but I don’t want to be here anymore.”

“But I’m here.”

Arthur stilled at his those words. That’s right, Merlin was here. Merlin was the only good thing that Uther’s expectations had brought to Arthur. But it was also Uther who took Merlin away in the first place. It was like the man had corrupted everything in his life.

It all became too much. Arthur didn’t know what to do. He felt torn, and his body was fidgeting everywhere, as if he was literally about to be torn apart. No solutions came to his mind. He wanted to rid Merlin of that concerned face. Merlin’s eyes were darting all over Arthur, like he was worried Arthur may split into pieces too. There wasn’t a way to make everyone happy.

“Merlin I—I’m sorry… I just… I can’t.” It wasn’t even a full sentence. Just pieces and words that seemed to reflect Arthur’s mental state.

With no response, Arthur needed to run away. It was childish and wouldn’t solve anything. But Arthur couldn’t look at Merlin’s face anymore. He stormed off. Merlin didn’t follow him.

He didn’t even hail a cab or get on a train. It was a two hour walk back to his flat, but he just needed to move. He needed to focus on something to calm his anger. The burn in his feet and his bag digging into his shoulder wasn’t doing the trick.

The walk gave him plenty of time to think. His mind only went in circles though. The rage just wouldn’t go away. Arthur had finally been at peace with his life. He found a place where he fit at Albion University, he had friends that felt like family, and he even found love. Uther was taking it all away from him, again.

Arthur realized the decision to leave was entirely his. Uther didn’t tell him to drop out of university or abandon everyone. That was all Arthur’s choice. A stupid, rash, over dramatic choice. Arthur still wanted to blame Uther for this. He drove Arthur away with his high expectation and forced career. Getting far away from everything connected to Uther was the only path Arthur could see now. He still couldn’t envision owning his father’s company, and now he couldn’t even see himself at Albion anymore. It felt like the life he had wasn’t his anymore. He just wanted something to be his decision for once. He wanted to choose his own path and have his own life. Abandoning this one seemed like the most logical option right? Leaving everything he had now would be worth it… right?

Was leaving Merlin worth it? Arthur’s pace slowed at the thought. He had just found him again. He wasn’t sure he could bring himself to leave and put them both through that pain again. At the same time he couldn’t stay. His anger at his father and his love for Merlin were both too strong. Would he really have to choose between the two?

Arthur wasn’t sure anymore.

He stormed into his flat and slammed the door. Miles off walking and he still had so much aggressive energy. Arthur couldn’t even look at his place. The designer curtains, the import upholstery, the granite kitchen. All he could think was Fuck this. Fuck all this Uther.

The bedroom offered no sanctuary. He thought maybe he should just grab a suitcase and pack, check his funds, get on a train and just leave. He didn’t know where to go or what to do. Maybe use the money he saved from his year working for a small flat, one that is all his own. Then he could find a job. He had references. He could even start in advertising like he wanted. Maybe it was all possible.

But he was scared. It was one thing to dream up this fantasy, but to actually do it was another. He was torn between showing Uther how wrong he was and the comforts here he had grown to love. What have I done? He thought. Had he really just given up and run away? Had he really let Uther do this to him? If it was possible, Arthur would take it back. But at the same time he was glad he let Uther know how he felt. His solution, however, was a bit extreme. But was it too late?

He threw his bag by his bedside table for a lack of anything else to do. His bag hit the side and shook the table, causing the Arthurian legends book to topple off. It landed and split open, the paper cover bending and sliding off. Arthur let out a frustrated sigh.

He bent down to pick up the book, slightly ashamed of himself for allowing such a precious item fall to the ground with such carelessness. He hoped he hadn’t damaged it. That was the last thing he needed. The fallen book was like a tragic symbol of what he was about to do; he was about to toss his love aside. And for what? Anger?

That’s when he saw the writing peeking out from under the book cover.

Arthur had never removed the paper cover from the book. It had always seemed sacrilegious to him. When the book had fallen, however, the cover had lifted up. Arthur picked it up and pulled the rest off, so now only the brown woven hard cover showed as he held the long illustrated paper.

There, in sloppy childish handwriting, was note in blue crayon. Arthur was surprised he could read it. But the writing and spelling errors was unmistakable;

“Dear Arthur. Thank you for sharing yor book. I want to be yor warlock ferevr. We can rul the land togethr and be frends forevr. Love Merlin.”

Merlin could only have been five when he wrote this. Arthur had been teaching him how to write then, and he recognized the places where he had struggled. It took weeks for him to understand the sound of ‘er’ and silent e’s. They hadn’t even covered ou’s beyond ‘you’ either.

The last words however, “Love Merlin”, were perfect. He had learned how to spell those words first. They had loved each other even then. Maybe not with the same intensity, but it was love all the same.

Below the sloppy crayon was another message. It was in flawless cursive and in fresh ink. Arthur had to touch it as he read it, as if to verify it was real.

“Dear Arthur,
I wrote those words almost 15 years ago now. But I still mean every word. The day you shared this book with me, my life changed. Because you were in it. This time, I won’t let you go. I’m still your warlock, and I plan on being by your side forever. And I will love you for even longer.
Love your Merlin.”

Arthur’s fingers traced the words again as he reread them. Merlin must have written this when Arthur caught him with the book the night they made love. He didn’t even realize he had started crying until he brought his hand to his cheek and felt them dampness. How could he never have seen this? He always thought his Merlin was so far away and forgotten, but his words and his love had been with Arthur all along. The love he wrote of had never left.

Arthur realized then that his love had never left either. The love he felt for Merlin never would leave.

“I meant all that, you know.”

Arthur looked up, still crouched on the floor where the book had fallen. Merlin was leaning on the doorframe to his bedroom. He must have forgotten to lock the door in his rage. All that was gone now.

“Merlin… I—I never…” He gestured to the book. He didn’t know what to say, but Merlin seemed to understand.

Merlin moved forward and kneeled on the ground to join Arthur. He imagined he looked awful, angry and sweaty, tears down his cheeks and a dumbstruck face. But Merlin just smiled.

“I can’t lose you again Arthur. You were always the one who took care of me. You protected me when we were children, and even now you look after me. So let me take care of you now.” Merlin reached out his hands to grab Arthur’s wrists. “I’m here. And I’m not letting go. Not this time. I won’t let him take you away from me again. I’m staying right here, by your side. Because I love you, you prat. And I know we’ll get through this together.” He entwined their fingers and brought Arthur's knuckles to his lips, kissing them lightly. "Let me protect you Arthur."

Arthur inhaled sharply, trying to hold in a sob. Instead, he dropped the page and lunged at Merlin. He wrapped his arms around him and buried his face and sniffled into Merlin’s neck. He was so grateful for this man.

“Merlin…” was all he could say into his skin. He squeezed tighter, as if Merlin might vanish because he was too good to be true. Arthur knew he was there to stay though, because Merlin promised him he would stay by Arthur’s side. Merlin’s hands were rubbing and patting Arthur’s back. One reached up into Arthur’s hair and held on tight, and he kissed his head affectionately. Arthur felt pitiful, but Merlin really was taking care of him then, and they held onto each other as Arthur shuddered and quietly sobbed.

This embrace was protection. Merlin was now shielding Arthur from the things that upset him, just like Arthur had held him through storms and bullies and nights alone. Arthur had no doubt Merlin could even protect him from the wrath and expectation of Uther, the one fear Arthur had never been about to face by himself. More importantly, Merlin was protecting Arthur from himself. From his rash and stupid decisions that would have hurt them both. It didn’t have to be this way, surely. They would think of something. Arthur and Merlin would fix this. He wasn’t complete without Merlin afterall. Arthur wasn't scared anymore. He didn't need to go through this alone.

How could he think of leaving Merlin? He loved him too deeply, and was certain he couldn’t go on without him again. He finally found his other half after years of searching. He was about to walk away from that, but Merlin—his love—had been there to save him.

“I’m so sorry.” Arthur finally said, but stayed in the familiar safety of Merlin’s neck. “I could never leave you. Not again.”

“As if I would let you.” Arthur smiled into Merlin’s skin. He pulled away to look at Merlin. His eyes were damp too, but the smile was so affectionate. Arthur couldn’t help but kiss him, long and deep, ignoring his damp face a disheveled appearance. He let their lips part, but instead leaned his forehead on Merlin’s keeping his hands on Merlin’s face. He closed his eyes and breathed, indulging in the feeling of Merlin’s warmth, and the calm he finally felt.

“I love you, you know.” Arthur reminded him.

Merlin chuckled. “I love you too. We’ll get through this together. Promise.”

Hearing those words, Arthur was certain they would. He could face anything now. He had Merlin by his side, and they would never be apart again.

Suddenly his body just responded to Merlin’s presence. It was as if it needed proof that Merlin actually was there, physically as well as emotionally. Arthur went back into Merlin’s neck, beginning to lightly kiss the place he had sought shelter and comfort. Merlin responded by wrapping his arms all the way around Arthur’s back, pulling him closer, whispering “I’m here, I’m here Arthur…”

Arthur’s fingers flung to Merlin’s buttons and eagerly ripped away at them. He needed all of him then, and the clothes were in the way. Merlin let him, and waited his turn to take off Arthur’s shirt. They were already out of breath, but Arthur went straight for Merlin’s mouth again. His kisses were desperate, almost as desperate as he felt. He needed Merlin in anyway he could get him. He needed to taste and feel and hear him. His fingers roam Merlin’s skin. Merlin’s just relaxed into his touch, his eyes closed as he indulged in Arthur outlining and tracing every inch of him.

Arthur was getting off on just the feel of Merlin. His finger’s just needed to reaffirm Merlin’s presence. They had been through so much. They had survived year apart and longing for each other, that his hands just wanted to reclaim all that lost time now. He just needed his body to express what he was feeling. Arthur’s head dropped to Merlin’s chest, continuing to feel and touch. He just wanted to indulge in Merlin. The warmth of his body was keeping him grounded. He had felt like he was drowning moments ago. He just needed to cling to this body that saved him.

His grip tightened at Merlin’s back before he pulled himself up again to take Merlin’s mouth with greedy sounds. Merlin’s hands went to Arthur’s hair, pulling and entangling his fingers in the sweaty mess but clearly not caring. Arthur needed more skin. He needed all of Merlin.

Wordlessly, Merlin guided Arthur off the floor and to the couch. The surface hadn’t phased Arthur, because he was acting off pure emotion. They quickly disposed of their trousers before Merlin collapsed on top of Arthur. His hands returned to their exploration, gliding down Merlin’s waist and arse, then back up the dip in his back before taking hold of his head to kiss him harder.

“I need you Merlin.” Arthur somehow vocalized. It was low and rough, but Merlin understood. Arthur meant it in every sense of the word. He needed Merlin with him.

“I won’t ever leave you Arthur.” Merlin had understood. “I’ll always find my way back to you.”

Merlin had managed to pull out a condom, probably from in his pocket of his disposed trousers, and was skillfully slipping it on Arthur. The prep work was rushed with a small bottle of lube. They kept getting distracted with kisses and caresses to concentrate, but finally Merlin’s patience seemed to wear out. He lifted himself up and took Arthur’s hard cock in hand, then lowered himself onto him.

The action was more than Arthur had expected, but it felt exhilarating. Merlin was rocking himself up and down on top of Arthur. His dominance seemed oddly appropriate. Merlin had taken charge, just like he had taken charge to bring Arthur back from the brink of disaster.

Arthur gazed up at Merlin, and only focused on his face. When their eyes locked, Merlin stilled. Arthur brought a hand to Merlin’s face to caress it, never wanting to forget it. Merlin leaned into it, and brought his own hand to rest on Arthur palm.

“What if I hadn’t found you?” He asked. He dreaded the idea, but had to ask. It dawned on him that there was a chance this moment may have never happened. Arthur could still be miserable, stuck in the limbo of his father's wishes. Or running away and lost, not knowing what to do. Alone. He just felt incredibly stupid and incredibly lucky all at once.

“Don’t think about it.” Merlin whispered into his palm, lightly kissing it.

“I would be lost.”

“Shh, Arthur…”

“I’d have run off, and I’d be ruining everything, and I wouldn’t have you here to stop me from being so stupid…”

Merlin silenced him with a kiss.

“I’d find you. Every time. Because… I need you too Arthur. We couldn’t exactly get far without our other halves right? We certainly didn’t before.” He tried laughing. “So I won’t let you go.”

Merlin started rocking again, but stayed pressed to Arthur’s body.

Their climax together was steady and perfect. They panted into each other skin as they climb down and relaxed. Merlin lifted himself off, but instantly curled up text to Arthur. He planted lazy kisses on Arthur’s temple, and Arthur held him as tight as he could.

They drifted off to sleep like that, knowing they would handle everything when they woke. And they would handle it together.

Merlin was in bed writing when Arthur walked in. “Alright. Goodbye dad. Talk to you soon.” He hung up the phone.

“Well?” Merlin asked, looking up from his notebook.

“He agreed to let me change my major to marketing. As long as I still get a business minor, and I will be starting at his company’s advertising department.”

“Are you okay with that?”

“Honestly, it’s better than I was expecting. It’s not perfect. But we finally agreed. I’ll be meeting with my advisor tomorrow to go over switching majors.” He climbed into bed. Merlin begin picking up his papers and pen to put them on the other bedside table.

“Were you writing?” Arthur asked.

“Yeah, just finishing up that story.” Merlin smirked. Arthur knew very well which story it was.

“And? How does it end?”

Merlin rolled closer to Arthur and nuzzled up to his neck. “Well, the king finds the warlock after he fled the kingdom, then the warlock saves him from the dragon. In the end, the king confesses his love to him. And even though the kingdom was destroyed, they both work to rebuild it to it’s former glory, and they all live happily every after. Except for the dragon. He got slain.”

“Sounds lovely.” Arthur wrapped an arm around Merlin and gave him a chaste kiss. They stayed like that; their lips pressed together, both curling into smiles. “I’m glad the king found his warlock.”

“I don’t think they could have stayed apart.”

“I think I know how that feels.” They kissed again. This time more intense. Each time their mouths connected, Arthur felt himself become more content, and if possible, happier. Why did kisses have to end? Arthur was certain he would be perfectly content kissing like that forever. Just him and Merlin in his bed, the soft dim light from the night stand, their arms wrapped around each other and caressing each other’s faces while their lips said everything their words never could.

Arthur had never felt so complete than he did in that moment.

They both adjusted in the bed to get comfortable, and Arthur leaned over to turn off the light. The last thing he saw before they were both in the dark was their book. The book would always be left out for him to see. It was a reminder of everything they had been through, and how he and Merlin would stay together through everything else life was going to throw at them.

Merlin snuggled up to him in the dark. It was the perfect way to fall asleep. Arthur wanted it to be like this every night with Merlin beside him. They would never have to sleep alone again.

“Night love.” Merlin mumbled into his skin.

“Sleep tight, baby.” Arthur felt Merlin smile into his skin.

They fell asleep together, as if that’s how they were always meant to sleep. This was only one of the many nights they would fall asleep in each other’s arms, keeping each other safe, like they always had and always will.