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It had started with just a sore throat - by the end of the week Eijun was crippled. As in not crippled, per se, that would be a bit extreme, but he had lost one of his best forms of impression: Talking.
He was under strict doctor's orders to not talk because apparently he had something called „Lozenge“ and his voice cords were infected.
Thankfully he was still allowed to continue training, which eased his predicament a bit. But only a bit.
His team mates, first and foremost Kuramochi and Miyuki, were having a field day. Eijun had started using a notebook to communicate but he couldn't scribble fast enough to reply to any comment before it became lame and Kuramochi had even made fun of his writing multiple times by loudly reading out his spelling mistakes.
This led to Eijun deciding to rather find a place far away from everyone else for dinner. He had managed to stay in the bath for long enough and when he reached the cafeteria, everyone was seated already. Without a word (after all, no talking :() he made his way to an uninhabited table in the far back corner to eat in peace. He would finish his three bowls of rice as fast as he could and then go running, or pitch into a net. At least a net wouldn't tease him for being temporarily mute. A doctor's appointment in three days was his only sliver of hope of ever talking again. They said he was to refrain from talking till then.
Well, Eijun could do three days, he would not make a single sound so his voice chords healed super fast and he could go back to shouting.
Right now he just felt like a ...lesser version of himself.
“Can I sit here?”, a voice interrupted his self-pity party. Furuya was carrying a tray that he put down opposite of Eijun before he could even nod. He still gave him a courtesy nod.
They were eating in silence, Furuya because he wasn't much into talking, Eijun because he wasn't allowed to talk. There was a difference and it was super unfair.
“Here, my grandpa always made me tea when my throat hurt!” Furuya carefully lifted a cup of warm tea from his tray and gently placed it in front of Eijun. He felt tears well up in his eyes, this was the first time someone actually had done something nice for him, everyone else had just laughed or said it served him right as he was simply too loud.
To make sure Furuya wouldn't see his weak display of emotion he focused on his trusty notepad and scribbled a “Thank you”.
The tea was the perfect temperature, not too hot to hurt him but warm enough to warm his throat.
“I hope you are better soon.” Furuya continued their rather one-sided conversation. “I like when you are cheering for me and we have a game on the weekend.”
Ah yes, the game. The game where Furuya was supposed to be pitching and Eijun was relieving…if he even was allowed to pitch at all. Another virtual object to add to his self-pity list.
And even though Eijun really appreciated Furuya‘s support (?), he had to scribble „I am not allowed to speak until Monday“. For good measure he added a :( behind the sentence even though technically Furuya could see his expression.
Of course it was at this moment that Miyuki sauntered by and grabbed the notebook.
„Why did you add a sad smiley? We can see your face.“
With a rapidly rising blush Eijun snatched the notebook from his hands and smacked Miyuki with it. The damn tanuki only started laughing before turning to Furuya to ask him for a session later that day. Furya, and not Eijun. Eijun really had to will himself to stay somewhat positive. This was the worst!
On the morning of the game, when they were waiting for the bus, it was his sweet friend Haruichi who noticed that Eijun had forgotten his scarf and was about to give him his own. But before he could unwind it from around his neck, Eijun was hit in the face with another balled up scarf. Dutifully he wrapped it around his neck, but couldn’t find the donor, though the scarf smelt weirdly familiar. Well duh, it had to be one of his teammates.
Haruichi only shrugged and rewound his own scarf.
Minutes later the bus arrived and they clambered in. It was only then that he noticed that Miyuki was also missing his scarf, so he scrawled out „I‘m not the only one who forgot his scarf!“ and shoved the notebook in Haruichi‘s face. His friend gave him a weird look, but then smiled. „Yes, of course, Eijun-kun.“
In the end he was actually allowed to pitch two innings, though the coach reminded him not to overdo it. It was almost sweet how worried everyone seemed to be. Then again he hated how he was pulled out of the game after two innings, he could have done more.
Monday was a continuation of his suffering. Rei-chan accompanied him to the doctor, who shone a light on a weird stick down his throat and then asked him to say a few words.
Eijun had been soo good and rested his voice, so he was really taken aback when he barely managed to make a sound. With a little more force he tried again only for his voice to break and jump like he was going through puberty again.
„I see. Rest alone wasn’t enough as it seems.“ The doctor turned away to write something out on his pad. „You need to rest your voice for an additional week and I will prescribe you five days of corticosteroids. Take a double dose today, two pills for the next four days and one on the fifth. It will probably get better in only a few days, but it’s important that you rest your voice.“
He handed the prescription to Rei-chan, which made Eijun feel incredibly young. It was embarrassing! Discreetly he wiped away the tears of frustration that had formed in the corners of his eyes.
A few hours later he was equipped with the medicine and had to face his team again.
„Can you speak again?“ Furuya asked, surprisingly eager. It was almost sweet how much he longed for Eijun to speak again. With a sad smile he shook his head.
I have to take meds now, too.
Of course that was the moment their senpai joined.
„Oh, so are you still okay training while taking medication?“ Miyuki asked, sounding surprisingly worried. Eijun nodded, but the catcher only raised one eyebrow and left them standing. Damn tanuki.
„I actually miss your idiotic game commentary…“ Kuramochi told him that evening. Again, a surprise, as Kuramochi had been the first and loudest one to make fun of him.
I miss talking Eijun scribbled onto notebook #2. He had run out of pages on his last one, that’s how long all of this already lasted.
„I know…“, Kuramochi replied, „And Miyuki misses his scarf.“ He added with a mean grin.
Why would Miyuki miss his scarf?
Did he lose it, the same way Eijun did?
Wait, he didn’t lose his scarf, he had just forgotten his scarf.
A short rummage through his wardrobe brought new insights: Eijun now had two scarves. Which brought him to the conclusion that it must have been Miyuki who gave him his scarf. This weirdly made him blush, but also realize that he should probably return the scarf asap.
Under the knowing eyes of Kuramochi he grabbed one of the scarves, hoping it was the right one, and made his way to the catcher’s room. He entered while knocking, which apparently startled Miyuki who had been reading a scorebook.
Thank you for the scarf, This Sawamura Eijun humbly returns it. He spelled out.
Miyuki raised an eyebrow and smirked. What was funny was how red his ears were.
„Don’t forget it the next time.“ His voice sounded almost soft. Eijun nodded eagerly.
It was really weird how his heart kept pounding long after he had returned to his room. It was so bad that it kept him awake and that gave him even more time to think about all the weird things Miyuki was making him feel.
He turned again and huffed out a breath he hadn’t noticed he had been holding.
„Just go to sleep already!“ Kuramochi-senpai sounded very sleepy and Eijun was a little jealous. He wished he could fall asleep this easily, but he kept tossing and turning until the early morning hours. Which led to him almost oversleeping.
„Oh wow, you look dead.“ Kuramochi commented when he climbed out of bed.
Couldn’t sleep. Eijun scribbled down. Then he added. My heart wouldn’t stop pounding. Maybe it’s the meds…
Kuramochi started cackling and almost affectionately pulled Eijun in another headlock. „It’s called having a crush, look it up, dumbass!“
Because he kept Eijun in the headlock he couldn’t even reply. How mean!
The next days he had something more to worry about: Did he have a crush on Miyuki? That wasn’t possible, right?
Only a day later (alright, he wasn’t an especially patient person..) he had enough of thinking about this all alone. He was feeling antsy and his heart was still summersaulting every time he pitched to Miyuki, so he decided to ask his friends. After breakfast and swallowing the disgustingly sticky white pill, he presented them with his predicament.
Do I have a crush on Miyuki-senpai?
Furuya and Haruichi exchanged a glance he couldn’t quite place.
„Why don’t you tell us?“ Haruichi carefully offered after a few seconds of awkward silence. Very unhelpful. It left Eijun even more stressed than he was already feeling from his current ailment.
For the next two days he was hyperfocussed on his interactions with a certain catcher and it didn’t paint a pretty picture.
- He was clearly crushing on his senpai. He was acting like one of the girls from his shojo manga - any kind of attention made him feel all giddy and had he developed a praise kink? Almost felt like it. His heart kept pounding every time Miyuki was only remotely nice and he couldn’t ignore it like he had before.
- Miyuki clearly didn’t like him that way. He kept putting Eijun off and catching for Furuya instead, making up excuses of how Eijun was still not at 100%. He was clearly trying to get rid of him. It hurt even more since he couldn’t even protest loudly.
So in conclusion he had an unrequited crush and it really stressed him out.
At dinner he kept stealing glances at Miyuki, until Haruichi called him out.
„So, Eijun-kun, did you find your answer?“ He was being so sweet. Eijun burst out in tears.
Furuya awkwardly patted his back, as Eijun sobbed into his hands. He hadn’t slept properly the last few nights, he missed his voice and on top of all of that he was experiencing unrequited love. It was just too much!
He laid his head down on his hands, trying to shield out the world, but it didn’t work. By now the entire team must have noticed him crying, but he couldn’t stop.
„I‘m sorry…“ Haruichi apologized, looking quite confused. Eijun wanted to explain, but when he grabbed his notebook he noticed that it was wet with tears and his pen just wouldn’t write on it. This prompted another outburst of tears.
Furuya kept rubbing his back and honestly, it was the only thing that kept him grounded. By now both Kuramochi and Miyuki came closer, probably to get a good laugh out of it. With his last boost of nervous energy Eijun pushed his chair away from the table and, dodging his teammates, fled from the cafeteria.
Of course it was raining. But the raindrops on his face mixed with his tears so he could almost convince himself that he wasn’t crying. He cringed at how embarrassing his display of emotion had been. Now his senpai only had more stuff to make fun of. Another sob tore through his raw throat. He just wanted everything to go back to normal!
His legs had carried him to the back of one of the equipment sheds and he collapsed onto a bench that had been bleached by the sun before pulling his knees up and hugging them. Eijun knew he was being stupidly emotional, but right now everything felt like it was too much and he couldn’t even talk to explain himself. He placed his head on his knees and closed his eyes, taking a measured breath. The rain soaked him, but he could care less. When it rains, it pours, he thought and tried to wipe away the tears once again. It didn’t really work so he dropped his head back onto his knees and closed his eyes.
The rain stopped as suddenly as it had begun. Once more, Eijun wiped at his eyes, but his wet hands wouldn’t do any good. Then he looked up. Wait, it was still raining, but somehow the rain didn’t hit him anymore.
„Are you okay?“ He hadn’t even known how worried Miyuki could sound. Startled, Eijun looked up. His captain was standing beside him, holding an umbrella over Eijun’s head. His eyebrows were furrowed and he looked almost as worried as he sounded. Eijun hadn’t even known that Miyuki could feel that kind of emotion.
Of course he couldn’t answer, but he nodded. No need to worry Miyuki.
Apparently his answer wasn’t convincing enough, because Miyuki bent down and placed a hand against Eijun’s cheek.
„Man, you’re freezing!“ He exclaimed and grabbed onto Eijun‘s left shoulder. „Let’s get you somewhere warm first!“ He started pulling and Eijun, still unsure what was going on, followed his lead.
His lead brought them both to the communal bath, Eijun stumbling behind their captain and hating how he couldn’t even protest. He felt cold and hot at the same time, a very weird sensation.
„Go in, start undressing, I’ll get your stuff.“ Miyuki instructed. He sounded serious and still somehow worried.
Any other situation where Miyuki told him to undress would have been better, but Eijun still felt his heart miss a beat. All the concern and attention Miyuki was showing him made him feel weirdly fuzzy inside.
The weird feeling got even worse when he had finally made it into the bath and slowly started warming up again when Miyuki joined him. It was the first time since Eijun had realized his feelings that he saw Miyuki naked and suddenly he had a name for the funny thing he always felt when seeing him undressed - attraction.
Oh god, god no!
He felt the blood leave his cheeks and pool somewhere else. A silent gasp tore through his throat and he quickly turned away. And right now, in the water, without his voice and without his notebook he felt even more naked than he was. He couldn’t even find an excuse for his behaviour. But if he were to leave now Miyuki would see things and would probably be upset about it. And about Eijun not following his instructions. He closed his eyes, willing his heart to slow down which it didn’t.
„Sawamura?“ The voice was way too close and Eijun startled, flailed and just about managed to not drown before nodding, the only way of answering he had in this environment.
„Care to tell me what happened earlier?“
Miyuki was sitting on the edge of the bath, displaying all of his manhood. Eijun should really direct his eyes elsewhere!
When Miyuki cocked his head he realized that he hadn’t answered. But then he couldn’t and Miyuki should know that! Eijun huffed and pointed at his throat before shaking his head. At least he was glad he couldn’t explain himself, as he was really really bad at lying. Miyuki was the source of all of his distress after all.
With a sigh his senpai settled in the water next to him. Eijun went rigid, but Miyuki just leaned back and let out a content sigh.
„Ah, better.“ He turned over to Eijun, his eyes without his glasses slightly unfocused, which looked incredibly sexy. Oh god, Eijun really ought to leave.
„Sorry, I forgot. We can talk later.“
Eijun would make sure that there wouldn’t be a later he promised himself. (And there was no talking, which was simply awful)
For a few moments there was quiet and Eijun allowed himself to relax and close his eyes. The warm water was chasing away the chill from the rain that had soaked him. He could almost find it in himself to hope for a better future where he had his voice back and could forget about this stupid crush. He took a deep breath, willing his pounding heart to slow and leaned his head against the edge behind him. It was quite anticlimactic what happened next - Miyuki just left. It felt like a relief and hurt at the same time.
Eijun didn’t know if it was a good thing or a bad thing, but when he returned, only Kuramochi was in their room and turned to him expectedly as soon as he entered.
“So, feeling better now?”, his senpai asked. Eijun shrugged and went to search for his notebook. He couldn’t find it and opted for a scrap piece of paper he had lying on his desk. With a heavy thud he sat down in front of Kuramochi, planting himself right between him and his video game.
Kuramochi-senpai, he scribbled, I have a problem. and added an exclamation point for good measure.
“Uh yeah, duh, the talking thing, right?”, the shortstop replied. Eijun shook his head vigorously.
I think I like Miyuki
He wrote, underlining the like twice.
Kuramochi cocked his head. “Yeah, that does sound like a problem.”
Then Eijun remembered something awful: Kuramochi and Miyuki were friends! What if he snitched on Eijun?
DON’T TELL HIM!!!
He shoved the note at Kuramochi.
His senpai, once again acting like the heartless person he had to share a room with, just grinned. “Only if you get me a grape soda from the vending machine.”
Okay, this wasn’t as bad as Eijun expected, so he just nodded and hurried off to do as Kuramochi tasked him to. Only when he returned, he realized that Kuramochi had done nothing to help him with his obvious problem.
At night he, once again, couldn’t sleep, he kept replaying every interaction with Miyuki and they all were, frankly, embarrassing. This too was a feeling Eijun wasn’t really used to. Usually, he didn’t really care about other’s judgment (or pretended he didn’t). Hence, this probably was another unwanted side effect of his stupid crush.
Just seconds after he had fallen asleep, Kuramochi woke him for morning training. His night’s thoughts returning with full force, Eijun spent morning practice avoiding Miyuki. Which did work, as the catcher was training with Furuya in the bullpen (unfair), while Eijun had selflessly offered to pitch for the batters.
At least I am done with the disgusting pills, Eijun explained to Harucchi at breakfast by shoving his notepad into his face.
“That’s good, hopefully they helped”, his friend replied with a smile. It was probably supposed to be nice, but Eijun immediately worried: What if they hadn’t?
“Ah, so it’s only one more day of Sawamoron-silence.” With a snicker, Miyuki sat down next to him. So much for avoiding the catcher.
Do not tease the crippled!!
Miyuki grabbed the notebook held into his face and studied the reply. Eijun hated how much more effective it seemed to be to shove a notebook at people if he wanted them to notice him. He just wanted his voice back AND to have his senpai actually notice him. Stupid crush.
“Well, I do kinda miss the local loudhailer”, Miyuki replied. When Eijun had finally clocked that Miyuki probably meant him with “local loudhailer”, conversation on their table had sadly processed too far to warrant a reply. So he just kicked Miyuki. The catcher just raised one of his stupidly handsome eyebrows and smirked.
„The redness and swelling have gone down, that’s a good sign. Now say ahhh.“ The doctor instructed Eijun while he had the camera on a stick shoved down his throat and held onto his tongue, a very weird sensation. With great difficulty he produced a small „EeeEeeeeEe“ and started coughing when the doctor let go of his tongue and retracted the camera. He nodded and smiled. „The vocal cords line up just fine. You are allowed to talk again, but don’t overdo it.“
„Really?“ His voice sounded so small, but it sounded like him. And it didn’t hurt. Eijun wasn’t sure if he should cry or laugh in relief. He was still a little afraid to use his voice, but he was glad that everything seemed to be in order.
To his disappointment (and relief) it was Haruichi and Furuya who waited for him when he returned from his last trip to the doctor.
„Can you talk again?“ Furuya enquired and Eijun smiled.
„Yes!“
Using his newly returned voice to complain about every single second of enforced silence they returned to the dorms. Soon enough his friends bid their farewells and, once again alone, Eijun pushed open the door to his dorm room. „Kuramochi-senpai, I‘m not crippled anymore!“ He called out and froze. Sitting on his desk chair, holding a scrap piece of paper was Miyuki Kazuya.
„Ah, he’s back!“ Miyuki grinned at him. He then returned his attention back to the piece of paper in his hand. Eijun felt his heart drop when he recognised the note he had used to inform Kuramochi of his crush on Miyuki. The note that should have been in the bin. Instead, Miyuki was holding onto that very confession.
With a strangled cry Eijun lurched forward and tried to pry the piece of paper from Miyuki‘s hand. As expected of the catcher, he had a firm grip. The ferocity of Eijun’s desperate attack made the chair topple and in a heap of limbs they went down. Eijun landed on something both soft and firm and with another distressed call he tried to scramble away, but Miyuki held on. He had placed both arms protectively around Eijun but now pressed the younger boy to his chest.
„Don’t you have something to tell me?“ Miyuki dared to ask, once again underlined by one of his tanuki grins. Eijun could feel his breath ghost over his face as Miyuki’s mouth was very close to his own. He squeaked and once more tried to free himself - without success.
„Fine!“ He cried out. „I have a crush on you, you stupid tanuki. And it’s a problem!“
„Why?“
He opened his eyes again he had held squeezed shut during the confession and met Miyuki‘s eyes. There was something soft in them. And slightly predatory, but not in a bad way.
„May I?“ And when Eijun nodded, Miyuki closed the distance between them.