Work Text:
Of Sand Castles, Body-Maiming Threats, and Love
“I wanna build a sand castle!” declared Naruto apropos to nothing.
“Ok…”Sasuke said dubiously. “And this is coming from where, exactly?”
“I saw the sand castle competition video Gaara sent yesterday, and it’s been bugging me all day and I wanna build one!” Naruto exclaimed, fidgeting on his sit by the couch with excitement.
Sasuke sighed in resignation and closed his eyes, thinking. The blond wouldn’t let it go now that the idea was stuck in his mind. And he would do anything and everything in his power to go down to the beach and do the blasted castle.
“Gaara said he wanted to come too.”
Narrowing his eyes and huffing in slight anger, Sasuke pinched the bridge of his nose and accepted his fate. It would be hell getting down to the beach during the Christmas (or whatever religious holiday people celebrate) holidays. Too hot, too crowded, too noisy. Not to mention the damned traffic.
“Fine. Let’s go to the beach. But only us.” Sasuke announced, getting up from his comfortable armchair
“But S’uke! Gaara wants to go too!”
“Shouldn’t Gaara be celebrating the holidays with his family?”
“You know they don’t celebrate it.”
“Well, they should.”
“S’uke, Gaara has like, mad sand wizard skills.”
“I can make a better sand castle than him any day of the week.”
“Babe.” Sasuke narrowed his eyes in warning at the nickname. “Oh, please, we’ve been together forever and we’re married now! I can totally call you babe.” Naruto huffed. “Anyway, Gaara has won sand castles competitions before!
“Are you saying I can’t make one? Is that it?
Panicking clearly spread through Naruto’s face and Sasuke smirked internally. If they had to go to the beach during hell, they would go just them so he could enjoy his greek-god-like husband. Alone. For their first holidays together as a married couple.
“N-no-no! Nothing of the sort. Hehe,” Naruto hastened to assure. ‘ Good, the moron is getting smarter and knowing when to listen to me.’ Sasuke thought pleased.
“Then we can go without Gaara, we make your stupid castle and enjoy Shisui’s summer house.”
“I really don’t get this stupid rivalry you’ve got with Gaara…” the blond mumbled. Huffing, he continued: “We should do it a day trip.”
Sasuke froze and narrowed his eyes in warning. “I am not driving heavens know how long in the stupid traffic to get back on the exact same day.”
“Then let’s take a helicopter to the beach,” the blond deadpanned.
“I could ask grandfath-”
“You are not asking Madara anything! He will charge me for my soul in exchange! And S’uke, we have to be over Obito’s, Rin’s and Kakashi’s for Christmas’ eve! Our moms are gonna kill us if we’re not there,” Naruto whined, storming out of the couch and pacing through the living room.
“I. Am. Not. Driving. Down. The Serra,” he said in a clipped tone, walking to Naruto and poking his chest hard with each word, “stuck God knows how long in stupid traffic, to not even enjoy the damn thing! Get this on your stupid head, moron!” Sasuke hissed, crossing his arms and practically stomping his feet. Yeah, so he was acting like a spoiled brat. He earned the right after suffering through his husband’s idiotic antics for their entire lives.
“Bastard! I am very much attached to all my limbs and I’m not giving our families a reason to tear them apart! Mom herself, if not granny Tsunade, will castrate me, and I- also you , mainly you !- like my manly bits exactly where they are!”
He did have a point, dammit! So acting like a spoiled brat would not work this time. It was put his strategic mind to work and time to bring out the big guns then… Taking a deep breath, he used his most heartbreaking facial expression and said in a quiet voice:
“I just want to spend our first Christmas as a married couple together, just us. Is it too much to ask?”
Naruto gulped, sighed and hugged him- always so good , not that he would admit, though - and peppered his face with kisses.
“Of course it isn’t. Fine. I’ll try and talk to mom and explain that to her. Can you get Shisui to let us use his house for the next few days? Also, what are we doing about the presents and Christmas dinner?”
“When you go over your mother’s to explain that we are traveling tomorrow and not attending the party, you take the gifts with you and this way they get it without us being there,” Sasuke explained very reasonable and started pacing, tapping his chin.
“Like hell, I’m going there in person,” Naruto frowned and very visibly shivered due to probably thinking about what would happen. “Knowing my mom and siblings, if I’m there when I tell them we’re not going, they’re gonna keep me in chains in the cupboard, and then you’ll gonna have to go and save me, and then you’ll be stuck there as well and we won’t be going to the beach.”
Sighing in resignation, Sasuke nodded his agreement. The moron was right. They would never escape in one piece, if they ever did escape. “Why couldn’t your family be more like mine?”
“The hell you talking about, babe? The only sane person in your family is your mom, and that can be argued. Granted, she is way more sane than anyone in my family, save dad, but not that far off.”
Sasuke hummed in agreement and thought about their possibilities. Then an idea struck him.
“I know how to resolve the situation,” he smirked, pleased with himself.
“Please do tell, oh wise one,” teased Naruto with an infuriatingly sap smile. It made Sasuke feel all happy when his husband smiled at him like that.
“For some reason, you’re Itachi’s favorite person besides me and Shisui,” the brunet rolled his eyes, “which makes him much easier to respond nicely and positively to you if it’s something regarding my happiness. If it’s me asking, he will say no just because he has old brother duty, or whatever he think that is. But if you say you want to please me- never mind it was your idea to go to the beach- he will certainly help us.”
Naruto hummed thoughtfully, considering. “Well, it is the less likely route where we get maimed… but we’ll have to give Itachi a good gift, and not that hideous thing you bought for revenge.”
Sasuke nodded once again in confirmation. “And while you go over Itachi’s place, I’ll let Shisui know we’ll use their beach house, and he’ll be able to give you support on your talk if Itachi.”
“It is still very risky, S’uke…”
The brunet looped his arms around his husband’s neck and with a coy smile whispered in his ear:
“I’ll make it worth your while if you do go there… I’ll bring some toys with us to celebrate our Christmas very thoroughly.”
Naruto gulped, embracing Sasuke with gusto. “Y-yeah?”
“Oh yeah, I’ll even ride you, just how you love it,” he answered charmingly, nipping at the blonde's earlobe.
Naruto gulped again, and the brunet could already feel his interest.
“Now go,” Sasuke stepped back, getting out of his husband reach. “I’ll pack while I talk to Shisui and figure something out for the dinner.”
“Saaaasuke, don’t tease!” the blond whined.
“Hush. go pick up the presents, load them into the car and go get us out of Christmas with the family.”
Naruto mumbled something more and walked up back to his husband, kissing him sweetly.
“I love you, babe. Thanks for coming to the beach with me.”
Sasuke gave him a small smile, one he only ever showed Naruto, thanking the gods for his luck for being able to marry his best friend. “Anytime and anything for you, my one and only.”
~~fin~~