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One of the first things that new crew to Rebellion Medical Frigate Alleviator learnt was that Dr. Kaeden Larte was an insomniac. This, unfortunately, was something of an understatement. Her own doctor would have described her as ‘teetering on the edge of fatal insomnia at all times.’
Either way, everyone was informed that if they ever found her sleeping, then they were never to wake her or do anything to disturb her unless it was an absolute emergency. She herself had been prescribed ‘as much melatonin as was safe for her to ingest,’ but with how little the Rebellion had, she only took it the night before a surgery, so that she’d be well-rested during it.
Thankfully, these were uncommon – her primary role was in cybernetic prosthetic implantation and maintenance, and very few Rebels lost limbs. Of course, she would absolutely have taken having more patients if it meant that fewer beings died in the field.
Unfortunately, the galaxy didn’t work like that. As a result, Kaeden split her time between helping with administrative tasks research. In this respect, her inability to sleep was useful – she’d managed to focus on the synthskin micro-nerve placement problem for long enough consecutively that she’d come up with its first ever solution.
As a result, once the Rebellion won the war, she would be immortalised in history as ‘the being who fixed synthskin.’ Although she was not to know it, there were still many years to go until such a thing would happen.
One thing that she technically knew was the identity of the togruta currently approaching her. Covered in a grey cloak with a deep hood, she almost blended in with the walls around her. Even her lekku were tucked into its folds lest someone identify the patterns on them.
‘Hello, Kaeden,’ she said, lifting back her hood. ‘It’s been a while.’
Regrettably, she was at present too exhausted to actually recognise her instantly. Her mind, however, was slowly joining the dots. ‘Hello,’ she greeted, trying to force her sleep-deprived brain to work.
She hadn’t slept in days, following having used sleeping drugs recently to get some actual sleep before meeting up with a Rebel fleet. There was always a chance that her skills would be needed whenever such a thing happened. She always abstained from using them after such an occasion, afraid perhaps to an unreasonable degree that she may lose sensitivity to the drugs in question.
Another dot connected within her head. ‘Do you not remember me?’ the cloaked togruta asked.
Kaeden frowned. ‘I might.’ Another dot. A strong feeling that she did, in fact, know her.
She knew her pronouns. Why not her name?
Oh, she was tired.
‘I haven’t slept in days. I can’t, you see. Not really.’ She took a deep breath and collected her thoughts again. ‘It makes thinking hard.’
‘Oh. I could help, if you want. The Force…’ She may have said something more, but her brain had connected the last dot the second that she mentioned the Force.
‘Ahsoka!’ she almost shouted. ‘Kriff, it’s been…’
Ahsoka had protected her from an Inquisitor, for kriff’s sake! How could she have ever forgotten? She’d been so mad at her, an ex-Jedi, for not helping the rebellion on Raada sooner. She hadn’t…
She was tired.
Ahsoka had protected her. She was safe. Actually safe.
She was sleepy.
She could rest.
For the first time in a while, she was actually feeling sleepy.
As she had learnt, tired and sleepy were two different things. The former was when she was physically or mentally recovering from exertion, a kind of exhaustion requiring rest. Sleepiness, on the other hand, was the ability to actually sleep, and it was nearly impossible to repress.
She never got sleepy. Not since Raada.
When had she laid her head on the desk?
She sat back up.
‘Hey, are you all right?’
Yes. Maybe. No. She needed to sleep. ‘I need… bed.’ That wasn’t what she’d meant to say.
‘Okay. May I carry you to your quarters?’
Her head was on the desk again. This time, something soft was beneath it. Warm, too. ‘… yes.’
She felt herself rise. Wasn’t it supposed to feel like falling?
Why wasn’t she sleepy any more?
Where was she? Why was her brain running so quickly? What was on top of her, and what was touching her hand? Were her eyes closed, or was it dark?
Kaeden made an effort to open her eyes. Nothing changed, so it was probably dark. Next on her mental checklist titled ‘figure out where the kriff I am and what the kark is going on’ was to consciously query her senses.
Sight: Nothing. Hearing: Her own breathing, no medical devices. Perhaps someone else breathing? Smell: Again, nothing. Same for taste. Touch?
She could feel a lot. Her right hand was facing upwards. Something warm sat in it, curled slightly around her. No idea what it was. There was a light pressure above all of the rest of her, bar her face. Bedsheets, perhaps. No weighted blanket, that was for sure.
So, her situation was simple. She was in a bed, perhaps hers. It was dark. There might be someone beside her if her hearing wasn’t lying. Oh. Was it this mystery being’s hand in hers?
Testing this theory, she gave it a squeeze.
She got a response not even a second later. Her subconscious had apparently figured out who it was, if the way that she got an excited thrill through her body at the returned squeeze was any indication.
It could share it with her, she thought, irritated. It wasn’t like there were many beings that she’d ever crushed on, anyway.
Wait. Crushed on.
She tried to remember exactly what had happened just before she’d woken up. Someone had approached her. She’d felt like she should have remembered…
Aha! Ahsoka!
Oh sweet Force, she was holding Ahsoka’s hand. Her first instinct was to let go. But she’d squeezed back, she reminded herself. It had even begun while she was asleep. It must not have been her that initiated it.
No, that couldn’t be right.
Jedi hang-ups, Kaeden. Remember those? She’d never gotten that kiss. And she’d promised that they’d meet again, only they never had. No, not never. Now. Over a decade later. But she’d come to see her specifically.
Maybe. Hopefully. ‘Ahsoka,’ she said, testing the waters.
‘Morning, Kaeden,’ she whispered, already sounding bright and cheerful. Wow. ‘Sleep well?’
‘Force, yes,’ she admitted. ‘How long was I out?’ She hoped that it could have been at least a couple of hours. She rarely got more than that.
She heard Ahsoka move slightly. ‘Ten hours by my chrono.’
‘No,’ she said, instinctively denying it. Even on the maximum safe dose of sleeping drugs, getting six hours was amazing. ‘No way.’
‘Yep.’
‘I haven’t slept that long since I was put under a month or two ago,’ she admitted. ‘I think that the only reason I even managed it now was because I…’ Did she want to admit to this? That she only really felt safe around her? ‘… feel safe around you.’
‘Oh,’ she said. There was a cocktail of feelings there. Most obvious: surprise and concern.
‘I could kiss you.’ Where had that come from, brain? Why? They’d only just been reunited! Ahsoka probably didn’t even feel the same way, Jedi hang-ups be damned. She’d just ruined the moment. She should take it back. She should apologise.
Her thoughts were interrupted by a cheerful ‘I’d rather like that.’
Okay. New plan. Kiss her.
Kaeden rolled onto her side. She still couldn’t see a thing. ‘I can’t actually see you,’ she admitted. ‘Can we turn the lights on?’ Now she’d definitely ruined the moment.
Her ears popped. The lights came on, set to their lowest setting. Her quarters were as dull as they always were, but Ahsoka? Oh, Force. The orange of her skin contrasted so well with her white camouflage markings. Her eyes were blue, a beautifully bright colour. They seemed to glow.
Her montrals were much longer than she remembered, now arching behind her in exquisite shades of blue and white, complimenting her eyes. She was stunning. The rest of her may have been hidden beneath the sheets, but it didn’t stop her from wondering and hoping that she just might get to see.
‘Oh,’ was all that she could manage.
There was silence. It stretched, eventually breaking into awkward. ‘Um,’ Ahsoka began, ‘did you still want to –’
Kaeden did her best to leap forward despite lying down, cupping her cheek with one hand and keeping hold of hers with the other one. She brought her their faces tantalisingly close, but did not close the gap fully. She was not messing this up. ‘I want this,’ she whispered. ‘I want you.’
Fingers brushed against her cheek, warm and reassuring. She tried to turn her head into them, but she was thwarted by a gentle yet firm hold, keeping her in position as Ahsoka closed the gap between their lips.
Oh, kriff.
It was amazing.
It wasn’t passionate, nor was it long, but it was loving. She completely forgot how to function. When she was drawn away from, she stayed still, processing just how absolutely perfect it had been.
‘Kaeden?’ she murmured. ‘Kaeden? Are you all right? Did I do something wrong?’
Ahsoka’s voice jolted her back into reality. She increased her grip on her face, holding her, not letting her pull too far away. She pushed their foreheads together, relishing in the touch. A hand slipped behind the back of her head, entangling into her hair. Warmth flowed through her.
‘Can we do that again?’ she asked, almost begging for it.
The only reply was a tug forwards. When their lips met this time, Kaeden shifted herself forward, wanting to press their bodies together, to merge. She was met halfway, Ahsoka having had a similar instinct.
The pressure from the touch was everything that she needed. She slid a hand down the side of her face, then down her neck, relishing in the shiver it drew out. She continued past the shoulders, down to the small of the back, and pulled. She wanted to be compressed into a flatcake beneath her.
Meanwhile, the grip on her head had increased to the point where it was obvious that Ahsoka was desperate for her too. She tilted her head slightly, opening her mouth as she did so. It didn’t take long for her to capitalise, and she kissed her so aggressively that she felt like she’d be able to memorise her mouth.
Kaeden was pushed back as she oriented herself on top of her, wriggling slightly to get the angle to press down against her even harder. She let go of her hand, instead bringing her arm up to wrap around her shoulders, carefully sliding it under her rear lek before squeezing with all the force that she could manage.
Adapting to the change, the hand that she’d let go of traced up the side of her body. It was her turn to shiver at the contact. Her skin tingled everywhere that it had traced over, on her side, around her shoulder, up her neck, across the right of her jaw, right up to where she’d settled it on her cheek, grabbing at her like she might fade away in a moment. How could she, though, when she felt so here, so alive?
Ahsoka broke the kiss, pulling away just enough to keep their foreheads together.
‘Ahsoka.’ She didn’t know what else to say. How to express how she felt. The joy, the satisfaction, the (dare she say it) ecstasy. ‘Ahsoka,’ she said again, having liked the way that it sounded in her mouth.
‘Kaeden.’ Oh, how melodic her voice was, yet how rough it sounded at the same time. ‘I… wow.’ She seemed just as lost for words, which ironically helped Kaeden find some.
‘First time?’ she teased, fully expecting a chuckled correction.
‘Yeah,’ she admitted. ‘Was it obvious?’ A trace of self-consciousness was audible in her voice.
‘Wait, really?’ She gave her another squeeze, relishing in being compressed. ‘I was making a joke because you were tongue-tied. I honestly thought that you must have done this hundreds of times,’ she said, unsure if she was exaggerating.
They were both quiet for a moment. ‘Oh.’ Ahsoka’s fingers caressed her cheek.
This, apparently, was what did it. Not the passionate kissing, not the feeling of being beneath her, but a gentle touch, skin-to skin. She moaned. Not loudly. The kind of near-whisper that one had to be paying attention to hear. And she was clearly paying attention. She repeated the motion, once again drawing out the quietest of irrepressible expressions of pleasure.
‘You like that, huh?’ She didn’t need to look to know about the mischievous smile that had sprung onto her face.
‘That obvious?’ she asked.
Force, she loved this. She wanted so much more, though. Not the way it was usually meant. She wanted to do this every day. Spend more time doing it. More skin-to-skin contact.
Not sex. Not today, anyway.
‘Kinda,’ she said. ‘You did make that adorable noise, after all.’
Kaeden scrunched up her face in mock offence, waited a second, then put her serious face on. ‘Before we do anything else, I need you to know that I don’t want sex,’ she said.
‘Okay,’ she confirmed. ‘Got it. What do you want?’
‘More of what we’ve been doing.’ She squeezed her back again, then pulled a leg over Ahsoka’s, entwining them.
This prompted her to kiss her again, capturing her lower lip. She moved a hand from her shoulders to the back of her head, tracing the contours of her lekku and montrals. The hand in her hair began to alternate between scratching gently at her scalp and stroking her hair.
Nobody had done that to her in years. She needed more of it, needed more of Ahsoka. She moved her focus from her lek to her left montral, reaching across her body and just… touching. Nothing intense, just running fingers over the sensitive skin.
It drew out a hungry sound, something like a growling purr. She hadn’t thought it possible, but Ahsoka pushed into her with even more desperation. It was so incredibly welcome. Too soon, though, she pulled away again.
This time, however, she pressed her lips to the centre of her forehead, then again just to the right, and again, and again, kissing her way around her face. Her eyes closed. She felt herself relaxing into the bed, soaking up the affection.
She could barely think of anything beyond the kisses being pressed along her jawline. She didn’t need anything right now.
She had Ahsoka.
Kaeden brought her hand back to her montrals, moving with them as they followed the movement of her head. She ran her fingers up and down them, relishing in the way that she expressed her pleasure at it. When lips met her neck for the first time, she gasped. She had expected it, sure, but that didn’t change how intense it was.
‘Again,’ she murmured.
Ahsoka complied immediately, pressing a long, slow, open-mouthed kiss against her neck. A hand moved to her shoulder as she did it yet again, keeping her steady beneath the onslaught of affection.
‘You’re so warm,’ she said, her voice bordering on reverence. ‘I just want to… stay here.’
‘I wish you could,’ Kaeden agreed. ‘This is…’
Abandoning the thought in favour of more touch, she began to stroke her back lek. It was surprisingly soft, much closer to the feel of perfectly hairless skin than she’d expected. It got a little harder towards the tip, like the Galaxy had caused it to harden over time.
Ahsoka lasted three strokes before she caved, gripping her shoulder tighter and burying her face against her neck, nuzzling to find the most comfortable angle possible. It was a little cold at first, but as she stayed there, their combined body heat began to warm it back up.
Of course, throughout this, she continued to run her hand down her lek, covering every bit of skin. When her left arm grew tired, she wrapped it around her waist, bringing up her right to continue it. Her head seemed to be almost buzzing softly. Every time she brushed a montral on the way back up, it intensified for a second, only to drop back off.
Every so often, Ahsoka would make a tiny noise of pleasure, or try to push closer into her, or squeeze her shoulder. Little gestures that brought with them the soul-warming knowledge that she liked this, liked her.
‘Enjoying yourself?’ she asked gently, trying not to speak too loudly.
‘Mmm,’ came the response. ‘Kaeden.’
‘Ahsoka,’ she murmured. The buzzing increased again. She whined softly. Did it hurt? ‘Are you all right, darling?’
Another whine, but also a small shake of her head.
Her right arm was tired now, so she switched back to her left, cupping the back of her head. The buzzing was really strong now, almost like it was…
‘Are you purring?’
‘…maybe,’ Ahsoka said.
‘Aww,’ Kaeden teased. ‘Sweet.’ She squeezed her waist a little, trying to convey that she was being facetious.
There were a few seconds of silence. ‘You aren’t,’ she whispered, so quiet that it was almost inaudible. ‘Do you not like this? Am I too heavy? Are you –’
‘Hey, hey.’ Another reassuring squeeze. ‘Stop that. Humans don’t purr. It isn’t an instinct, it isn’t something that we can even do. Not in the proper sense, anyway.’
‘Oh,’ Ahsoka murmured. ‘I forgot.’ She buried her face even deeper against her neck in embarrassment.
She hummed. ‘It’s okay. I love this, for the record.’
‘I’m glad.’ She made an effort to entwine them further.
Had she been worried about that this whole time? ‘Darling, you should tell me when you’re worried like that,’ she requested.
She purred louder. ‘Next time. I promise.’
‘I hope that there is a next time,’ she said before she could stop herself.
‘Me too.’