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It was the first cold day of autumn, and the early morning sun filtered through the fog to dye the room in hues of cool silver. In the small garden behind the house, robins fought the squirrels for their breakfast. In the hallway, Brushbuddy made tiny little scratching sounds outside the bedroom door.
Qifrey burrowed further under the blanket, wrapping his hands around Olruggio's warm waist and burying his nose in his hair. When Olruggio shifted and placed his hand on Qifrey's, Qifrey opened his eye and raised his head to see him staring at the far wall with the smallest of frowns.
"You're awake," Qifrey said. He pressed a kiss to the back of Olruggio's neck and laid his head back down, letting his eye slip closed. "It's awfully early."
Olruggio's hand tightened on his. "Couldn't sleep."
"Hmm." Qifrey squeezed Olruggio against him and took a deep breath, inhaling his comforting scent, before letting it out in a quiet sigh. He raised himself onto one elbow and placed a kiss on Olruggio's cheek. Olruggio didn't react, so he kissed his cheek again, and again, and again, until Olruggio's mouth quirked and he turned and brought his hand to Qifrey's cheek and pulled him down to kiss his mouth.
"Satisfied?"
"Quite." Qifrey smiled and slipped out of the covers. He hurried to pull on his clothes before the cold air could set him shivering. "It's going to be chilly today." He slipped on his glasses and placed a hand on Olruggio's arm. "I'm going to get breakfast ready for the girls. Would you like anything? A hot drink?"
Olruggio stared at the ceiling. Eventually, he responded, "No. Thanks."
"Of course." Qifrey got up and paused at the end of the bed. The circles under Olruggio's eyes were even darker than usual, and the small crease between his eyebrows showed no sign of disappearing. Qifrey gave a small sigh and pulled open the bedroom door. Brushbuddy, who had been waiting in the hallway, sped through the gap, did a little spin around Qifrey's foot and squeaked at him, then quickly scampered over to the bed, where he immediately snuggled up next to Olruggio on the pillow.
"Try to get some sleep," Qifrey whispered as he pulled the door to.
Olruggio grunted and curled a hand around Brushbuddy.
Agott was the first one in the kitchen.
Qifrey held back a laugh as he watched her inhale her scrambled eggs and spinach, almost getting some on her school dress. "You still have plenty of time before school, there's no need to rush."
"I need to study," she said as she shoved her toast in her mouth almost whole, then washed it down with a glass of orange juice. "Thank you for breakfast!" she said, then ran back to her room.
Richeh shuffled in next, still in pyjama and yawning.
"Good morning, Richeh," Qifrey said with slight surprise as he watched her climb onto a chair.
"Mrmng," she mumbled into the table.
"Would you like some bacon and eggs?"
She shook her head.
Some time later, Tetia came twirling into the kitchen. "Gooooood mooooorniiiiiing," she sang. "Qifrey, look at my hair! Does it go with my uniform?"
Qifrey inspected the little flower charms Tetia had threaded through her pigtails, colour-coordinated to go with the emblem on her school blazer. "They look lovely," he said as he placed a bowl of granola on the table. "I don't think I've seen the daisies before."
Tetia beamed as she took a seat to eat. "I made them for art class!"
"So that's what you were doing last night," Agott said as she walked back into the kitchen. She dropped her book bag on an empty chair while she buttoned up her coat. "Don't you ever have homework to do?"
"This is homework!" Tetia said with a small huff. "It's just fun homework."
"Well, I won't be wasting my time at secondary school just having fun," Agott muttered.
Qifrey opened his mouth, but before he could say anything, Olruggio appeared behind Agott. He placed a hand on her head to gently ruffle her curls. Agott looked up in surprise.
"Y'know, having fun isn't a waste of time," he said.
"Olly's up!" Tetia exclaimed. Richeh raised her head, a red mark taking up most of her forehead. "Olly, will you cycle to school with me today?"
Agott clicked her tongue, making no effort to move Olruggio's hand. "Aren't you already late? And why do you still need someone to accompany you?"
"But it's so booooring on my own!" Tetia said, pouting. "You wouldn't understand, you still get to go to school with Coco!"
"I'm forced to go to school with Coco. Who still isn't up, by the way."
"I don't understand why you would even want to go to school in the first place," Richeh mumbled.
"Sorry, Tetia," Olruggio said as he gently shook Agott's head before releasing her. "I've got to head straight out today. Richeh, I'm leavin' Qifrey with you."
Richeh stood on her chair and saluted.
Qifrey followed him into the hallway. "You're leaving already?"
"Just... feel like takin' it slow today," he muttered as he laced up his boots, then fished his coat out from under all the others hanging by the front door, checking to make sure his scarf was still stuffed inside one of the pockets.
"Okay," Qifrey said. "Give them my love."
Olruggio turned to him with a nod. He smelled of his herbal body wash, had trimmed his beard and even put in contacts, but a shadow of tiredness still hung off the slope of his shoulders. He reached up to wrap a hand around the back of Qifrey's neck and pull him down for a quick kiss.
"Right then." Olruggio grabbed his keys and shouted towards the kitchen, "I'm off!"
Three heads popped out from the kitchen, and one from the top of the stairs.
"Bye Ollyyyy!"
"Bye."
"Bye-bye."
"Bye, Olly!"
Once the sound of the car had fully faded away, Agott's head snapped round towards the top of the stairs. "Coco! What took you so long?!"
Coco ran down, Brushbuddy in tow. "I'm sorry, I was looking for my PE bag, and—"
"We don't even have PE today! Just hurry up, we're going to be late again!"
"I said I'm sorry!"
Qifrey sighed as he followed them all into the kitchen. "Alright, you can speed off once Coco's eaten." He passed her some eggs on toast.
She was about to take a bite when she stopped. "...Was something wrong with Olly?"
It suddenly occurred to him that Coco had barely been with them half a year. He hummed thoughtfully as he passed the lunchboxes to Richeh to put in their carry bags. "Olruggio—"
"Oh, you don't know yet!" Tetia put her bowl in the sink and grabbed a banana from the fruit bowl. "Today is Olly's parents' anniversary."
Coco blinked. "Their anniversary?"
"The day they got married," Agott deadpanned.
"I know what an anniversary is!"
"Every year," Tetia continued, "he spends four hours driving aaaaall the way up north, and then that same day he spends another four hours driving aaaaall the way back!"
"Four hours?!" Coco squeaked.
"And he brings home fancy cake," Richeh said.
Coco furrowed her brow, toast still halfway to her mouth.
Agott made a frustrated sound. "If you're not going to hurry up and eat, I'm leaving without you."
Coco jumped and proceeded to eat so fast Qifrey was worried she might choke.
"Thank you, Qifrey!" she said around a mouthful of bread as she grabbed her lunch and book bag.
"Wait, I wanna come too!" Tetia exclaimed, running to get her satchel from the living room.
"Your school is the other way," Agott said.
"Just to the end of the road!"
"Bye, Qifrey!"
"Byeeee!"
"Bye."
"Goodbye," Qifrey shouted after them. He took a deep breath, then let it out in one fell swoop before looking to Richeh. "So, what's the plan?"
Richeh crossed her arms and began tapping her foot. She counted on her fingers. "Well, we already did a shop yesterday."
"Right."
"And the library is closed today."
"Right."
"And it's too cold to go for a walk."
"Right."
"..."
Qifrey tapped his chin. "Perhaps we could start with breakfast? That will give us some extra thinking power. Are you feeling hungry yet?"
Richeh nodded.
"Then maybe after that we could..."
Richeh suddenly gasped and her eyes brightened. "Can we brine the pork shoulder for tomorrow?!"
"Oh, that's a good idea! And we'll need to make a marinade for the roast beef as well. I trust I can leave that in your capable hands?"
Richeh did a victory stance.
Olruggio hated the motorway. He hated staring at the same grey road for miles and miles; hated dealing with drivers that didn't know how roads worked and insisted on undertaking him; hated the way the endless monotony turned his mind dull and lifeless, and left him yearning for nothing more than the chattering voices, bright gazes, and warm touches of home.
He tapped his thumbs on the steering wheel, nodding along to a rhythm of his own making. To his left, the trees sometimes gave way to the barest glimpse of rolling fields. To his right, the sun speared the dissipating fog to shine bright and sharp through the driver's window, just out of reach of the sun visor. He rubbed his eyes, trying to get over the feeling of the contact lenses and wishing, for once, for a cloudier sky.
He glanced at the dashboard clock. One hour on the road. Three to go.
With a sigh, he exited at the next service station.
He grabbed his second coffee of the day and a croissant, then sat on one of the benches outside to eat so he could stretch his legs—and because Qifrey always had something to say about the crumbs in the car, despite the fact that it wasn't even his car; Qifrey had his own crumb-free car he could drive.
"Did you ask your parents about taking the kids next weekend?"
Olruggio watched out of the corner of his eye as a young couple took a seat on the bench next to him.
"Oh, they said they're going away. Can you ask your mum?"
"You know she doesn't like taking them for that long."
"It's two days! And they're her grandkids!"
"It's not like she hates them, she just doesn't want them to stay over."
"In that huge house of hers?"
Olruggio shoved down the rest of his croissant and returned to his crumb-covered car and the quiet monotony of the motorway.
Strong gusts of wind had clouds rolling in by the time he made it to his usual flower shop.
"Olruggio!" The petite woman who owned the shop waved from behind the counter. "How are you? How are Qifrey and the girls?"
"Hey, Sinocia," he sighed as he approached the counter. "They're good. Qifrey picked up another one."
A strong voice cut in from the front of the store. "Another one?" A tall woman walked past, punching the breath from Olruggio's lungs with a strong clap on his back. "How many's that make now?"
"Four and counting," Olruggio wheezed. He straightened up and cleared his throat. "A pleasure as always, Ermile." He cast a look over the walls of flowers. "Anyway, you got anythin' interesting?"
Sinocia led him to a large case in the back corner. "We got some gorgeous lilies in just the other day that Ermile's been saving for you."
Ermile groaned loudly. "Don't tell him that."
Sinocia laid them out on the counter for him to look at. They had large, snow white petals and deep red stamens, with leaves such a deep, rich green as to look almost black in comparison.
"We also have these lovely white chrysanthemums to go with them. Oh, and this baby's breath would help to break it up a bit. And then..."
"I'll leave it to you," Olruggio said. "You always make 'em nice. I trust you."
Sinocia smiled and started to gather flowers.
"Olruggio," Ermile called to him. She held out a tall, slim bag.
He took the bag and lifted out a bottle of whiskey. He raised an eyebrow. "What's this?"
"It's for your parents," Sinocia said as she tied a ribbon around the wrapped bouquet. "It was Ermile's idea, actually."
"Will you stop blabbing to him?"
"You've been coming here for so many years now," Sinocia said, holding out the bouquet. "Consider this a gift from us."
"You don't have to do that," Olruggio muttered as he started to dig his wallet out, but she pushed the flowers against his chest.
"Our gift," she said again.
Olruggio's gaze flitted between them. He could feel something squirming inside him, something like discomfort or embarrassment or gratitude.
"Thanks," he eventually conceded. "It'll make 'em happy."
A flurry of magpies took flight and rabbits scurried away as the creak of the old wrought iron gate cut through the silence. The church sat atop a hill at the very edge of town overlooking the fields below, its stone walls shrouded in ivy, the grass long since swallowed up by a carpet of bright moss, and the dark green yew trees that inhabited the grounds flecked with bright red fruit.
Carefully tucking a large blackberry branch back into the hedge arch, Olruggio made his way down the overgrown gravel path to the small cemetery at the back. He walked the rows of moss-covered flat headstones until he arrived at a single, plain slate headstone with a covering of yellow lichen. His gaze traced the increasingly worn engravings of the two names and the epitaph.
Two shining stars
Too soon extinguished
"Hi mum, dad," he said quietly. "Happy anniversary."
He sat down cross-legged and laid the flowers between their names, then opened the whiskey. "These are from Sinocia and Ermile," he said as he poured some whiskey into the cap and poured it out onto the ground on his father's side, then did the same on his mother's side. "They make up your flowers every year, but they said they wanted to gift these to you this time." He poured one last cap for himself. "Cheers."
He knocked back the half-shot, relishing the smooth heat as it slipped down his throat. "Wow, this stuff is nice. I'm surprised—Ermile's got pretty good taste." He capped the bottle and placed it next to the headstone, then rummaged through the pockets of his coat until he found his picture wallet.
"Before I forget: Qifrey sends his love. I think he wanted to come this year, but he decided to stay back with the girls in the end." The corner of his mouth quirked up. "We've got another girl now, actually." He held up the first photo in the wallet: a picture of Coco asleep with Brushbuddy. "Her name's Coco. Real bright. It's her first time at school, and we were worried at first 'cause her and Agott are both due to start secondary next year, but she's comin' along in leaps and bounds.
"Agott, on the other hand... she's still studying like she's got somethin' to prove." He flipped to a picture of Agott sitting in front of the fireplace, head in a book. "I just know she's still got that woman's poison stuck in her head. Pisses me off, 'cause she's smart as all hell and I don't want to tell her not to study, but she's still a kid, for crying out loud."
He exhaled heavily and flipped to the next picture.
"Tetia just started secondary this month, actually." He laughed at her grin showing off her new uniform. "You should see her, dancin' around in her blazer every morning. She spends more time stylin' her hair than all the girls combined at the moment. But she loves it, I think." He hesitated. "At least, she seems excited. She doesn't talk much about her friends though, and she doesn't like cycling to school on her own, and it makes me wonder if maybe..." He frowned. Sighed. "I don't know. I'm probably worrying about nothing."
He held up a photo of Richeh sitting at his computer. "Richeh stopped going to school last winter. She wasn't gettin' on with any of her teachers, and she was spending more and more time on her own, even with Agott and Euini there. You know how the other schools in our zone are, so we didn't have anywhere else we could send her, but we didn't want to force her to keep going there."
He found a second photo of Richeh and Qifrey standing in front of the table, showing off two roast chickens, a whole mountain of roast potatoes, and at least five different types of grilled or roasted or sauteed vegetables. And some very floppy Yorkshire puddings.
"Now she follows Qifrey round doing chores and cookin' and the like. He takes her to the library or the museum whenever he can, or sometimes she stays with me while I work." He chuckled. "I swear, if I gave her the tablet, she'd be takin' over my commissions in a flash. Straight up steal my job. She's got a great imagination, and a proper eye for detail."
He smiled as he flipped to the very back—to a picture of Qifrey asleep in bed, morning sun shining golden over his bare shoulder and turning his pale hair overexposed in the camera's lens.
"Qifrey... Qifrey's still trying too hard. He spends all his time lookin' after the girls and me without ever stopping to rest for himself." He grimaced. "Sure, he eats and sleeps better than I do, and he moves and gets out of the house more than me... but sometimes he'll suddenly go quiet, like his mind has wandered off somewhere and gotten stuck, and he just won't talk about it."
He thought of the last time it had happened: they had been in the kitchen, talking about where to take the girls during half term, when Qifrey had suddenly stopped responding, and Olruggio had looked up to see him staring blankly out the window, hands frozen in the middle of drying a plate.
He ran his thumb over the picture with a nameless melancholy. "We've been together so long now, I just wish he'd ask for help. I wish he'd let me support him with this, with—with whatever. With everything. Y'know? 'Cause I'm not goin' anywhere, not now, and I want him to trust that—trust me." He swallowed. Worked his jaw. "And then recently—recently I keep thinkin' how you got married when mum turned 30, even though you'd already been together for years, and, well, it just—it got me thinkin' that maybe—"
Olruggio cut himself off. His face flushed red and his chest tightened and his stomach started doing little anxious somersaults in time with his pulse.
He shut his eyes and took a deep breath. He let it out in a single, huffed laugh and scrubbed a hand through his hair. "Ahh, what am I even saying? 'S not like that would change anything. And we've got the girls to think about." He rubbed the back of his neck. "Don't go messin' with things that ain't broken, right?"
A cold wind gusted across him suddenly. He winced and hunched his shoulders against the chill as it pulled at his hair and scarf and stung his cheeks, and he clutched the wallet tight against his chest while he waited for it to pass. When it finally died down, he saw that the flowers had rolled away, leaving his parents' names to stare up at him in unadorned silence.
He clenched his jaw and tried to unpick the knot in his chest.
"Yeah"—he smiled in what felt almost like defeat—"it wouldn't change a thing."
It was almost midnight by the time he pulled into the driveway. The whole house was dark, only the porch light and the hallway light by the front door still lit. He put the bag of cake and pastries he'd bought on the kitchen table, trusting Qifrey to deal with it in the morning, then immediately made his way upstairs.
He took out his contacts and haphazardly brushed his teeth and threw his shirt and jeans in the corner so he could crawl straight into bed to gather Qifrey up in his arms and press one single, long kiss to his shoulder.
Qifrey stirred, making a small noise. His hand fluttered up around Olruggio's face. "You're back."
Olruggio squeezed tighter and pressed another kiss to his neck.
"Olly?" Qifrey stilled, then tried to turn to face him. "Are you okay?"
Olruggio cupped his cheek and pulled him round to kiss his lips. Once, twice. Three, four times.
"I love you," he mumbled against Qifrey's mouth. He felt like his voice might break.
Qifrey hummed happily. "I know." He wrapped his arms around Olruggio and held him tight against his chest. "I love you, too."
Olruggio sighed as Qifrey stroked his fingers through his hair. He felt his body start to relax into Qifrey, felt the tightness in chest begin to unravel, and, for the first time that day, felt like he could finally breathe again.
Morning had long since passed by the time Olruggio woke up. He stretched, groggily glanced outside—it was warm, sunny, and a far cry from the grey clouds of yesterday. But that was how it always went.
He checked the time and listened out for any sounds of life, but the house was perfectly silent; Qifrey must have taken the girls somewhere after school, or perhaps they'd gone down to Mr. Nolnoa's farm. Even Brushbuddy was nowhere to be seen, although the pillow next to him was covered in white fur again.
He dragged himself out of bed and to the shower, then downstairs to see if he could find some conveniently snack-shaped food. The kitchen already smelled of herbs and spices and roast meat and vegetables, which only made his stomach cry harder, but he settled for some biscuits and tea and brought them into the living room.
No sooner had he sat down on the couch than a clamour of voices and bodies swarmed him.
"Happy birthday Olly!"
He let out a surprised shout, and quickly found himself collapsing into the couch under the combined weight of four young girls.
"What—what're you—"
Giggles and a thousand limbs wrapped around him, heedless of his confusion.
"Okay girls, let him breathe!" Qifrey said from a few feet away, voice shaking with laughter. "We want him conscious for the rest of the day."
The girls finally released him, giving him just enough space to sit up and stare at them all.
"Where the hell did you all come from?"
Richeh tapped her nose. "Heh heh heh! We were hiding behind the couch!"
"What?" He looked around in bewilderment. "Since when?"
"We told Brushbuddy to tell us when you were about to wake up!" Tetia said, looking extremely pleased with herself.
"Well that's a nice little trick you've got there," he muttered.
Brushbuddy chirped at him from her shoulder.
He raised an eyebrow at Qifrey, who also looked awfully pleased with himself. "And who've I got to thank for this little birthday surprise?"
Qifrey's smile widened. "That would be Coco and Agott."
Trying not to show his shock, Olruggio turned to stare at a blushing Agott.
Agott crossed her arms as she looked away. "I only suggested we do something together. The rest was Coco's idea."
Coco smiled sheepishly. "I just thought, because, sometimes everyone needs a hug, right? And yesterday..." She glanced at Qifrey briefly, who nodded in encouragement. "Well, yesterday you looked like you really needed a hug, but Qifrey said you weren't going to get one, so I thought maybe we could give you one today instead." She fiddled with her hands. "Sorry if it was too much."
Olruggio just blinked. He couldn't find any words. There was a pressure in his chest, an ache that he hadn't felt in a long time, and a growing lump in his throat. He looked at Qifrey, who only continued to smile at him with that soft expression of his, and he almost felt betrayed by the way his eyes began to burn and his lips started to tremble.
"Oh no, Olly's crying!" Tetia exclaimed before promptly wrapping her arms around him again. She was quickly followed by three more pairs of arms, but this time they left him enough space to wipe away the tears that insisted on falling.
He eventually let out a shaky laugh as he raised a hand to pat Coco and Agott's heads simply because they were the closest. "Yeah," he said, meeting Qifrey's eye, "yeah, maybe I needed a hug." He craned his neck to try and look at all the girls as they pulled away. "Thanks."
"Was it because you went to your parents' grave?" Coco asked.
Olruggio shook his head easily. "No."
"Is it because you're old now?" Tetia asked.
"Oi, 30 ain't old."
"Is it because you still haven't finished that new commission?" Richeh asked.
He laughed. "I've still got two days to finish that."
"Does it matter why?" Agott cut in. "Sometimes you just... need a hug..."
Olruggio smiled. He placed a hand on her head to ruffle her curls, and held back a chuckle at the way she averted her gaze with a pout. "Aye. Exactly."
Qifrey clapped his hands gently. "Alright girls, I think it's time we finish up the dinner preparations. Before our guest of honour passes away from hunger."
Olruggio stood and watched them climb off the couch and wander into the kitchen with a smile. Then, before he could follow them, he hooked a hand around Qifrey's waist to spin him into his chest.
"Coco and Agott's idea, huh?" he said, kissing Qifrey's cheek.
"It was," Qifrey said. "I realised Coco didn't know about your parents yet, so I simply told her. She did the rest."
Olruggio hummed against his neck.
"I may have offered some suggestions on how best to surprise you."
"There it is." He nipped at Qifrey's skin just to have the satisfaction of watching him jump.
"Olly," he warned.
"Yeah, yeah, I know." He straightened up and placed a kiss on Qifrey's lips. "Food first, you later."
"That's some awfully big talk for someone who—"
Tetia ran into the living room and froze in the doorway. "Um, Olly, can Qifrey come help us for a second? You can have him back after that."
Olruggio released a laughing Qifrey with a sigh. "Ahh, I'll come help, too."
Tetia reached for his arm. "Really?!"
"You don't need to," Qifrey said. "You can rest if you're tired."
"Nah. I'd rather be in there getting under all your feet," he said, ruffling Tetia's hair, "than stuck out here listening to all the fun."
And so, heart full, he followed them into the kitchen, where he was surrounded by the chattering voices, bright gazes, and warm touches of home.