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It took longer than Ness would like to admit something was off. It wasn’t until he glanced in the bathroom mirror and saw blonde instead of brunette that he finally startled himself awake.
He was Michael Kaiser.
“Don’t tell me…” Ness breathed.
“We switched bodies?!”
Kaiser-as-Ness studied his new reflection, taking in the magenta curls, big eyes, and flushed cheeks.
“Well I’m finally shitty Ness, but I don’t know what’s happening to my body,” Kaiser grumbled. “I hope Ness isn’t doing anything weird.”
Across the city, Ness-as-Kaiser took a deep breath.
“Alexis.”
Ness shrieked, falling away from the mirror. A heavy blush painted his cheeks—Kaiser’s cheeks(?).
His voice is so cute.
Ness shook his head. He needed to focus. Kaiser was likely in his apartment across the city. They should meet up and figure out how to fix things.
Ness took in the blue robe he was wearing, then at the closet full of clothes.
Well, it wasn’t like he could allow Kaiser to travel in anything less than perfect attire.
Kaiser pinched at his cheeks, admiring how they bounced back almost instantly with a faint blush.
Ness’s bathroom didn’t reveal anything too fancy in terms of skincare, aside from a generic cleanser and moisturizer, meaning Ness’s elasticity and baby-soft skin was natural.
Damn.
He poked more at his new face.
Despite having Ness as his closest companion for the last few years, he didn’t actually study the other as much as he’d prefer. Ness always caught him looking, no matter from how far, and he was forced to avert his eyes.
Emperors didn’t stare, they were stared at. Kaiser was meant to be revered, not the reverie. Commoners never went to galleries to be gawked at by art, so why would he be any different?
Kaiser frowned, and started combing through Ness’s hair with his fingers. As expected, it was wonderfully soft.
Damn.
For someone who tended to wear the same few outfits, Kaiser had a lot of clothes. Some were weathered comfort items—Ness respectfully left those alone—while others were clearly gifts from sponsors or modeling contracts.
As any good friend, Ness followed Kaiser’s modeling career closely, and knew which outfits looked best on him. Naturally, he avoided those as well since he could just look up that style.
Ness took a few minutes to assemble a few outfits from the wardrobe. Color matching Kaiser as best he could and adjusting. He went off textures, styles, and shape to create an ensemble of outfits.
He reminded himself it wasn’t for fun, and this was necessary to make sure Kaiser could be seen dressed appropriately in public and not tarnish his image.
Privately, Ness wished he could save these moments as a memento, but knew Kaiser would be displeased. Then again, since Ness handled most of Kaiser’s work, his phone ended up being more decorative than anything else, except for when he was contacting Ness of course. But that also meant Kaiser would likely not be checking his phone after today either.
With a smile, Ness set up Kaiser’s phone and got into position.
While he waited for Ness to arrive, he may as well entertain himself. Kaiser could count on one hand the times he had visited Ness’s apartment, so there was plenty to look at.
It wasn’t snooping. Kaiser would never go as low as to snoop. Ness belonged to him, so really, what was his was an extension of Kaiser’s.
With one last look around the tidy bathroom—and another lengthy glance in the mirror—Kaiser went to take a look around.
It had taken a few tries, but Ness was figuring it out. He had to redo Kaiser’s living room, but after moving a mirror across from him, studying the right ratio of natural light to lamp light, and learning how to work the camera timer—he took a video by mistake—, it was smooth sailing.
It felt awkward at first. Ness had his own share of contracts of course, but posing always felt stiff and uncomfortable.
He stood upright, unsure how to proceed. Any pose he could think of felt generic and cringey, and he hated it. Ness fiddled with the longer strands of blue hair, the sleek locks smooth against his fingers.
In the mirror, he could see Kaiser’s body following along with him. The disconnect helped a little. It wasn’t Ness posing, it was Kaiser, and Kaiser looked good doing anything.
Smiling, Ness started the timer and waited.
Kaiser, admittedly, was unprepared. He knew Ness was fond of him—had ensured it even—but he could not have prepared for what lay ahead.
A cursory look around the apartment showed Ness’s taste. A bookshelf full of fantasy novels, Harry Potter memorabilia, and assorted trinkets from team trips. Various picture frames of friends, teammates, and just he and Ness lined the walls. Aside from the usual clothes in his dresser, there was also one drawer dedicated solely to gloves.
Kaiser knew about his midfielder’s affinity for the hand wear, but didn’t know he had this many pairs. They were mostly dark, aside from accents of purple, pink, and red. One unusually flashy pair was ebony with wisps of magenta that looked like trails of magic.
Kaiser made a mental note that a crimson pair with cerulean roses would look striking on Ness and moved on.
Then came the more unusual things: a daily planner with potential dates written for Kaiser’s birthday—Kaiser has never told him—, a list of things Kaiser likes, notes for later—Change K’s dentist appointment to next month, Find new beautician, Renew train passes—, and hacks on how to improve longevity on hair dye. There was even a printed article wrinkled with age on how to treat tattoo extensions—Kaiser had once mentioned adding on to his tattoo a few years back but decided against it.
If that wasn’t enough, in the corner there was a large bush placed strategically in the sunniest place in the apartment, a blue-stained cup resting near some packs of dye.
If Kaiser had to guess, the budding flowers were initially white, but were going to change to the corresponding dye as they bloomed.
Ness was making blue roses.
The entire apartment was a physical embodiment of Ness’s devotion to him.
His cheeks burned, and Kaiser briefly thought about heading back to the mirror to take a look at “Ness’s” expression before groaning and putting his head in his hands.
Satisfied, Ness sat to catch his breath.
While efficient, his impromptu photo shoot still took a while, and it was later in the day than he’d like. Kaiser was undoubtedly awake by now.
It was unlikely Kaiser would see the photos, but Ness was still full of nerves anyway. He could always just not send them, but that would make this an utter waste of time. And worse, meant he wouldn’t have the pictures at all.
Ness hit send.
Kaiser flinched when an unfamiliar ding! rang out. The sound happened a few more times, and he finally located the source as Ness’s phone on his nightstand.
The notifications revealed it was from Kaiser’s own phone—so Ness was texting him—but not what the contents were.
Unfortunately, Ness never bought tech for himself, often preferring to keep the oldest models possible until they fell apart, so the phone didn’t even have a thumb scanner. The six digit code flashed in front of him mockingly.
Kaiser tried Ness’s birthday. Fail. He tried the date they were signed into Bastard München. Fail. He tried the date Ness was described as “the Heart of Bastard München” in an article. Fail. He tried the date Ness became captain. Fail.
The phone buzzed with each failed attempt, then finally decreed it was Locked and to try later.
Kaiser grumbled but left it alone. Ness knew where he was, and was likely already on his way. There was no need to do anything.
Before he could discard the phone, it changed back to its lock screen, revealing a photo of Kaiser and Ness from last Christmas. The image reminded him of the blue roses he was attempting not to think of.
Once again, his face burned.
As he hoped, the messages stayed on Sent, meaning Kaiser didn’t open them. Ness deleted the messages and pictures from their chat history.
He moved on.
After selecting an outfit, Ness began neatly putting everything back in the closet. A stack of books tucked into the back corner caught his attention. The first few were psychology textbooks intersparsed with some historical fiction and memoirs, but Ness was surprised to see there were also a variety of fantasy books, much like the ones Ness had on his bookshelf at home.
Scratch that—they were the same as the ones Ness had on his bookshelf at home.
A flip through revealed numerous post-it notes decorating the pages, annotations detailing the worldview, character relationships, and parallels between characters.
A cursory look showed they all had the same treatment, even the textbooks had some notes scribbled every few pages.
The only book that wasn’t was Howl’s Moving Castle. It was completely empty, and Ness would’ve assumed it had gone unread if the pages weren’t so dog-eared and worn. Kaiser clearly spent a lot of time rereading this book, and if Ness had to guess, he’d assume that the annotations were unnecessary if the reader had already remembered the contents.
How sweet it was that Kaiser’s love manifested in memorization.
Ness carefully stacked the books back in the closet and began the journey home.
After a generous amount of time laying face down on the floor, Kaiser was finally calm.
(His face still flared with heat when he thought about it, Ness’s cheeks turning a stunning pink in the mirror that he memorized with rapt focus.)
Good timing too, since there was a knock at the door.
“Kaiser? It’s Ness,” his own voice said.
So creepy.
Kaiser pulled the door open, revealing himself. They stared at each other for a moment.
Ness’s expression was foreign on Kaiser’s face, expression unusually colored with surprise as eyes were wide and lips were parted slightly.
Finally, Ness snickered into his palm, the action unusual in Kaiser’s body.
“What?”
“It’s just,” a snort, “you look like you.”
Kaiser tried to remember his examination from earlier. When he relaxed, his eyes went half-lidded, mouth settling into a somber expression. It looked strange and out of place on someone like Ness, so he elected not to do it again while near a mirror.
Speaking of Ness, his midfielder was dressed surprisingly well. Kaiser hardly remembered he owned that outfit.
A cream-colored sweater, black slacks, a navy trench coat with the first two buttons undone, and boots that gave him an extra inch. A burgundy scarf concealed his tattoo and the longer ends of his blue hair, while the shorter tips were likely tucked into the hat Ness had since taken in hand.
He looked good. Really good.
“You cleaned me up well.”
“You think so?” Ness’s cheeks flushed.
Perhaps Ness was onto something earlier. While they were still in each other’s bodies, it was impossible not to see Ness underneath it all. The mannerisms, the language, the expressions—it all spoke of his midfielder.
“I do. Now have you figured out how to fix this?”
“I’m not sure. We should do some research.”
Pale fingers reached for the phone Kaiser tossed aside earlier.
That reminded him.
“What were you trying to reach me about?”
Ness froze. “What?”
“Earlier. You messaged but I couldn’t answer.”
Magenta eyes darted away. “Just wanted to know if you were awake.”
Kaiser cocked a brow. “So late in the day?”
Ness shrugged, anxiety clearly lining his form. It was a strange sight on his body, making Kaiser more irritable.
“Give me my phone.”
Ness deliberated for a second too long before digging in his pocket and passing it over. Kaiser opened their messages and saw nothing new since their conversation last night.
He eyed Ness. “Where are the messages from today?”
Ness squirmed. Kaiser glared.
He picked up the abandoned device from earlier and pushed it at Ness, pocketing his own. “Open your phone.”
After a few moments, Ness hesitantly unlocked it.
Kaiser took the phone, turning before Ness could come to his senses and snatch it back.
He opened the messages, anxiety building when he saw that Ness sent a lot of photos. A lecture about bodily violation was on the very tip of his tongue, but then he noticed the contents.
Kaiser paused, swiping through the photos. They were surprisingly tasteful. Apparently Ness had an eye for photography, especially if these were taken on a phone of all things.
Kaiser suavely adjusting a dark blazer, the corner of his mouth lifting in a teasing smile as he eyed the camera; Kaiser’s side-profile, head tilted up while eyelids fluttered shut in bliss, legs caught mid-motion like he was taking a leisurely stroll; Kaiser in a dark shirt and ripped jeans, fingers playing absently with one of his many silver necklaces as he stared off in the distance; Kaiser loosening a tie, his button-up sleeves rolled up to his forearms while he had a tired yet prideful look on his face.
The final one was likely the best of them all: Kaiser’s back facing the camera as he was looking out his apartment window. The golden light of the sun was illuminating his silhouette like it came just from him. It was soft and intimate, and felt so much different than any photograph Kaiser had ever seen of himself.
He scrolled once more, and was instantly proven wrong. The best was the very first one, where Ness had accidentally taken a video. The expressions looked a little unnatural on Kaiser as Ness fiddled with the camera, laughing at himself once he realized he accidentally took a video by mistake. Kaiser had never seen himself smile like that.
It was beautiful. Kaiser was beautiful.
“Kai—”
Kaiser kissed him. Himself. Himself but Ness. Bodyswaps were weird.
He suddenly grew very dizzy, like he was suffering the worst case of vertigo. Ness’s phone clattered to the floor as he pulled back, head throbbing.
Kaiser pried his eyes open, and was met with a fluttering magenta.
“Ness?”
“Kaiser?” Ness’s face lit up, and he jumped on him. “We’re back!”
Kaiser staggered under the new weight but held him steady. His midfielder’s eyes were raking over him like he didn’t have all day to do so—not that he was much better, eyes feverishly taking in every curve of Ness’s smile to the delicate flicks of his eyelashes.
“How did you know that would work?”
He didn’t, but Ness didn’t need to know that.
Kaiser kissed him again. Ness jolted in his arms before reciprocating, mouth curving into a smile Kaiser matched with his own until it was a replicant.
He had a lot he wanted to learn from Ness, starting with how to smile.
Finally, he pulled back. Ness’s eyes were bright and doe-y, face illuminated by the blush he studied earlier.
Kaiser tightened his hold around his waist, and Ness responded by tugging him in by the looped arms around his neck.
The position had brought them much closer, Ness’s leg pressing against his thigh. The touch caused his phone to dig into him, reminding him of his earlier dilemma.
“What’s your phone password?”
Ness didn’t blink at the subject change, already used to Kaiser’s sporadic requests.
“2-6-0-5”
“Our Bastard München tryouts.”
The day we met, Kaiser didn’t say. With the way Ness beamed and pulled him into a kiss, it was clear he heard him anyway.
Kaiser really was so loved by Alexis Ness.