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People wouldn't stop touching him.
Occtis would have liked the touch, if it had been because anyone cared. The clinical pat-down he had gotten from Vaelus and Murray had been scientific curiosity; a mere reminder of the warmth his own flesh once had.
Occtis didn't fault Vaelus for what she did. He only wished she would have thought of him, for just a second, before making her choice. No, Occtis was just as much a tool to Vaelus as he was to his family.
A tool Julien had put utmost importance upon keeping out of his family's hands.
Julien had been touching him, too. A humiliating toss over the shoulder, shielding arm in front of him, rubbing his back when the stone was destroyed, pulling him close and guiding him back to Hal's when the fear of his father and the prospect of losing Thimble made him unable to do so himself.
Even now as they sat beside each other in the faerie cave of the Hallowed Round, the fabric that clothed their arms brushed subtly when Julien shifted. They hadn't left each other's sides since the manor. But it couldn't be because he cared, Julien had made that very clear.
And then there was Thimble. Now that she was big, the near first thing she did when she laid eyes upon Occtis was wrap her arms around him. Occtis loved her warm, loving touch. He wished they could have stayed like that forever. He hoped that there would be many more hugs to come, in the upcoming days of travel. But for now, Occtis would let Thimble socialize with the other faeries as he tried to meditate away the image of his father's wrath.
---
Julien poked at Occtis' limp corpse. He had been still for too long.
"What." Occtis didn't quite snap, and Julien ignored the flood of relief that washed through him.
"Making sure you didn't actually die on me."
Occtis sighed, despite the fact that Julien knew he had no use for the breath.
After a few minutes of uncanny staring, Occtis spoke again.
"Sorry I said that stuff back there. About not caring... I do actually care. I don't know why I care, because you've been an asshole to me the entire time I've known you. But I do. Somehow."
"You care because we've been fighting on the same side of a stressful conflict. People find it hard not to get attached. And I'm an asshole to you because I'm an asshole. Don't take my dickish behavior personally, and I won't take the fact that you care personally."
"That's bleak." Occtis snorts.
"Is it? People are pack-animals. It's not a choice to care."
"What, do you care about me then?"
"Begrudgingly, a little." Julien admitted. "But don't get a big head about it."
"Is that why you've been touching me so much?"
Julien furrowed his brow. "What? I haven't been touching you."
"Yes, you have. Like, five times today."
"I think most of that was encouraging you to move."
"I guess."
"Does it bother you?"
Occtis shrugged.
"Do you want to not be touched? When we're not in a life-or-death situation, of course. When I tossed you over my shoulder like a sack of potatoes you were falling behind. It had to be done."
Occtis rolled his eyes. "It was humiliating. But uh- no, I just. I guess I don't like not knowing why people are doing things to my body."
After what had happened to the boy, Julien didn't blame him.
"Well, I carried you to move you faster than your weak little wizard legs would have carried you."
"You've said."
"And then... when else did I touch you?"
"Forget it."
"I can tell you why I did it if you remind me when it happened."
"You touched me when the stone was removed."
"I was trying to figure out what was wrong with you."
"And when we saw my father."
"You looked like you were going to fall over."
"Right."
"Well, it was a high-stress situation, I don't remember. It was probably something along the lines of, 'oh shit, your father just murdered that powerful druid with a single spell, he has to die, but if we go in there we will die, don't disassociate on me now we have to move' type thing."
"Yeah." Occtis nods slowly. "Thanks... For explaining."
Julien nudged Occtis' knee with his boot.
"And what was that for?"
"That was acknowledging that I heard you but do not wish to speak any further."
"Right. Confusing."
Julien shrugged, and reclined back, turning over to his side and facing away from Occtis.
Occtis stared awkwardly into the distance. Julien was so weird.