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Shane nervously fiddled with the sleeves of his freshly pressed button down, he caught his reflection in the window of the conference room and smoothed his short hair. The lighting at this particular hour made the usual fishbowl feeling of this room feel more private as one could not see into the hallways much. Shane was so caught up in being aware of how the shirt clung to his frame that he completely forgot about the fact he was surrounded by windows not mirrors. Much to his horror, a passing intern gave Shane a side eye and an awkward smile when their gazes met.
Beside him, Ilya let out a suppressed laugh, “I too would question the person who doesn’t think you can see through both sides of a window.”
Shane pursed his lips, feeling his cheeks flush, but said nothing, his eyes darting around the room, unsure of what to look at.
“Look, Sara told us this was a casual meeting with the leads. Wouldn’t you want to know who is going to portray your ass on screen?” Ilya said deadpan.
Shane turned red, “I–why would I want to judge the guy’s ass?”
“It joke, Hollander,” Ilya said, “Even so, I would like to see this ass of his. I bet it doesn’t even compare to the real thing.”
Ilya bit his lip and wiggled an eyebrow at Shane.
“Shut up, Ilya,” Shane bit the inside of his cheek, “We’ve been here for what…five minutes? You can’t even go thirty seconds without bringing up my ass.”
Ilya rolled his eyes at Shane’s seriousness, “It’s a nice ass. Why can’t I admire my own boyfriend’s ass?”
While Shane may seem reserved and perhaps boring on the outside, but with full confidence, Ilya would be able to tell someone it was all a facade. The real Shane is just as shameless as Ilya, if not more.
Both men looked up at the door as soon as it swung open to reveal their casting managers, Sara and Jenny, followed by two surprisingly tall, well muscled men. As Shane rose from his seat, his eyes fell towards the dark haired one–clearly his double. But other than the fact they were clearly both half Asian, Shane couldn’t figure out how their casting directors came to this conclusion. This guy–both of them actually–were around six feet tall, making Shane feel even shorter than usual. Perhaps he would just have to trust the process.
The other man, however, was as close to Ilya as one could get without picking someone directly from his family–curly dirty blonde hair, eyes that were a bit more green than hazel, and a jawline that could cut through glass. At least that is what went through Shane’s mind as he took the newcomers in.
He glanced over at Ilya to see his boyfriend’s reaction, and as he expected the Russian had only one expression when in unfamiliar situations–neutral. But Shane could pick up on the softness of his gaze and slight uptick of the corners of his mouth that told him Ilya was content with his double.
“So, Shane, Ilya,” Jenny made eye contact with each of them as she said the pair’s names, “This is Hudson Williams, and Connor Storrie, who will be playing you guys on the new show.”
The four men all examined each other as Jenny spoke, and Shane kept thinking about all the ways that he would make his double look more like him. First, he would get the guy in the makeup chair and give him freckles, and maybe give him a fresh cut. Shane is almost jealous of how this guy–Hudson’s–hair falls effortlessly in his face like a Kpop idol, whereas if Shane were to try to grow his hair like that it would probably end up sticking out in all directions. The two different types of Asian hair, Shane mused.
“Nice to meet you guys, finally,” An unfamiliar voice snapped Shane out of his thoughts. He looked up to see Connor’s hand outstretched, going for a shake. Shane gave a faint smile, trying to reorient himself in reality, rather than the little world in his head, and shook Connor’s hand. Unlike Ilya, Connor’s had this bubbly energy that radiates from him.
“Truly it’s an honor, what you two have done for the queer sports community is tremendous. Thank you,” Hudson said.
He does have nice skin, Shane supposed. That was one thing that he took pride in, it had taken him years of research, trial and error to perfect the perfect skincare routine.
“So we’ll leave you four to get to know each other, just remember we have hair and makeup tests in an hour, Connor and Hudson,” Sara said before she and Jenny left the conference room.
“So are you Russian?” Ilya immediately inquired.
Connor shook his head, “Nope, just good ole’ American.”
Ilya gave a faint nod, contemplating this information carefully, “What about your parents?”
“From Texas as far as I know,” Connor shrugged.
“Texas is a state in America–” Shane felt the need to clarify in case Ilya wasn’t familiar with American geography.
“I know where Texas is,” Ilya smirks, “I’m Russian, not stupid, Hollander. Alright, give me your best impression of me.”
Connor’s eyes widened at the boldness of Ilya, but quickly assumed his interpretation. His features morphed into a stone faced expression, almost model-esque, devoid of any hints of emotion, and he looked like this version of Connor would have eaten the real Connor alive. Shane was shocked at how easily this came to the actor.
Ilya nodded, both pleased and amused with this version of himself, “Not bad. I just need to coach you on the lines and you’ll be perfect.”
“Oh I already have a dialect coach…” Connor said.
“Are they from Russia?” Ilya asked.
“She is, but lives in Canada now,” Connor said.
Ilya nodded again, “I could still teach you better. Who needs a dialect coach when the person you’re trying to portray is right in front of you?”
Connor’s eyes widened at the proposal, “Thank you very much.”
Shane’s gaze kept switching between all three of them, this situation feeling just a little bit surreal.
“So, Hudson,” Shane said, “Not that this matters much, but are you also, half…” Shane almost cringed himself asking Hudson what type of Asian he was. Surely society is past this, but he couldn’t help but to wonder.
“Korean,” Hudson replied, “I know you’re Japanese, but the casting call just mentioned being half Asian, I hope you don’t mind. My mom is the Korean one, too.”
“Oh I don’t mind,” Shane quickly reassured him, maybe Shane would have been pleased with another half Japanese actor in the show, but he also knew that to the film industry, anyone even vaguely Asian would have been fine. But maybe the Korean side explains why Hudson’s hair is so well behaved.
“So have y’all read the script?” Hudson asked the group.
Ilya and Shane nodded. To be completely honest, Shane was mortified by how much sex was planned in the show, but Ilya found it extremely amusing. The people want accuracy don’t they? We’re young and hot, what do they expect to happen? And to that comment had gotten Ilya playfully punched in the chest by Shane.
“Of course we have,” Ilya raised an eyebrow.
“Ok so we’re all on the same level of freak,” Hudson said, “Alright. So…how accurate would you say it is. On a scale of one to ten.”
Shane was shocked at how quickly everyone else had gotten comfortable in each other’s presence.
“Twelve,” Ilya said without missing a beat.
Shane turned as white as a ghost.
“Good to know,” Hudson said, “I’ll definitely keep that in mind as I act out getting railed by this guy.” He motioned to Connor.
“We had a costume test yesterday which included the nude scenes, and let me tell you this, I think y’all will be pleased with the visuals of everything,” Connor teases.
“Oh you bet,” Hudson agreed, “I’m gonna be ass up, face down for most of it. It’s going to be delicious.”
Shane could not believe that this was the conversation they were having at that moment.
“I see,” Ilya said, “I approve. When I watch the drafts, I’ll let you know how accurate it is to Hollander here.”
“And wait until you get a look at this guy’s ass,” Hudson brought his hand to his face, pretending to whisper to Ilya, “He’s so caked up, I don’t think I’ve seen anything like it.”
Ilya raises an eyebrow at Connor, “Eh?”
Connor blushes, “I did gymnastics when I was younger, the glute gains never left I guess.”
Ilya gives him an enthusiastic thumbs up, “I approve.”
The hour ticks by quickly filled with dirty banter between mostly Ilya, Connor and Hudson. A growing feeling of get me outta here builds up in Shane the more he hears himself objectified in the jokes. Truly he’s not that uncomfortable about them, he just didn’t expect nor mentally prepare for the four to get off on this so quickly after meeting. At some point they were all playfully making fun of Shane's discomfort and Hudson mentioned grabbing him by his slutty little waist to rock his world better than Ilya has ever done. And Shane had to admit that that was pretty funny, completely and utterly mortifying, but amusing indeed. Hudson’s daring words came with a demonstration, wrapping his arm around Shane and pulling him in.
And maybe, just maybe, Shane found that just a little hot. A bit of a strange thought considering Hudson was going to be portraying him in this new biopic, however, Shane has a track record of folding for the confident pushy type.
So, perhaps, by the end of the meeting, Shane decided that Hudson was just a better version of himself, perfect to play an immortalized version on the silver screen. So long as someone got that man freckles and a better haircut.
A new face walked into the room–the stylist–Shane pieced her role together from the question she led with, “So Hudson, how do we feel about cutting your hair?”
Hudson milled over this proposal for a split second, “I…hmmm.” He then glanced at Shane, “You know what, sure.”
Shane’s jaw dropped dramatically, “You did not have to look at me like that.”
“Well I’m not the one with that fuckass haircut so…” Hudson shrugged.
“Excuse me?” Shane straightened his posture, “I put a lot of work into my image. And not everyone is blessed with hair genetics like you, Hudson.”
Hudson let out a laugh, “Tell him, Ilya, that he should try literally any style other than…that.”
Shane looked at Ilya.
Ilya shrugged, “He’s right, Hollander. Your hair, not bad, but it’s not like Hudson’s. Yours is much worse.”
“Thanks.” Shane rolled his eyes.
The annoyance was mostly real, however, Shane just couldn’t help but be charmed by confident men with just a sprinkle of conceit.
***
“Hollander you have to see this,” Ilya calls Shane into the living room. Shane emerges from the kitchen to find Ilya on the couch with a Teen Vogue interview with Connor and Hudson. The show, Heated Rivalry, has just aired and no one can get enough of it. It baffles Shane how a hockey show got famous for everything except the hockey playing.
“Listen to this,” Ilya presses play on the remote and in response to a fan’s statement that Shane would be scared of Hudson, the immediately a mischievous grin appears on the man’s face, “I’m grabbing that little boy with his ugly little haircut and putting him in positions he’s never been in, I’m rocking that world better than Ilya has ever done it.”
Shane can’t tell if that is the funniest thing he’s ever heard in an interview or if he should be gratefully offended by not only that conversation actually being immortalized, but Hudson publicly calling his haircut ugly.
Which by the way, he’d never admit to, but he just maybe canceled his monthly trim for the first time in years just because.
Completely of his own volition.
Completely unrelated to Hudson’s comment.
It’s just a coincidence, Shane tells himself.