Chapter Text
Till knew his behavior wasn't exactly normal. He knew he liked Ivan a bit more than a regular person liked their celebrity crush- each section in his room was coated with posters and official merch related to Ivan. His prized possession was his collection of exclusive Ibanny merch- which was Ivan's plushie line, especially the big plushie which sat on his bed. This in itself wasn't that bad, until you accounted for how much money each exclusive piece cost.
Sometimes he wonders why a rock star would have a cute bunny plush as merch but he's not complaining, he's pretty sure it's for his female fans and not a loser like him.
He was honestly surprised his mother wasn't concerned about the amount of money he'd poured into his merch. But he was glad she thought his passion was sweet- she just saw it as an extension of his love for music. Which in some ways Till guesses is true.
That would be an incredibly innocent version of what Till felt towards Ivan. And unfortunately was not that case. Till loved Ivan. At least that's the closest emotion Till could describe it with; others would probably prefer the term obsession to describe his feelings towards his idol but Till preferred the former.
He knew it wasn't healthy spending his restless nights with his hands down his pants, chasing his pleasure while imagining it was Ivan fucking into him. He imagined how Ivan would be in bed, he imagined he'd be mean, setting a ruthless pace- but maybe he'd praise him too. The pleasure was just so much more intense when imagining Ivan- he could barely manage to cum when the man wasn't on his mind.
He'd sneak glances at his posters of Ivan while pushing his fingers deep inside himself, if he really lost himself in the pleasure he could pretend they were Ivan's.
Till preferred not to think too deeply about how insane his feelings towards Ivan were. No one needed to know he was the owner of the biggest unofficial Ivan fan page- the reddit and twitter pages thank you.
Mizi and her girlfriend Sua were the only ones who knew he was the owner of the fan pages- Mizi said it was cute Ivan made him so happy.
Currently, Till was getting ready for college, he threw on a basic emo fit and carefully drew on his eyeliner wings. He spent most time on his eyeliner when getting ready, he felt naked without it on.
Once he gets to college, he saunters into his first lecture, only a few minutes late this time. The lecture is boring as usual, he spends it with his laptop out, but instead of taking notes he debates the people who spread stupid misinformation about Ivan, or call him all kinds of names.
Didn't they know Ivan at all? How can they see him and call him ugly? Did they have eyes? There's no way it could be anything other than jealousy. And him having an ego well Till thinks he'd also have an ego if he was as attractive and talented as Ivan. Midway through typing an angry response to the tweet attempting to put down Ivan the bell rings signalling the end of class.
He heads over to his usual table for lunch greeting Mizi and her girlfriend.
“How was your first period?” Till asked, trying to make conversation with the two girls.
“It was good!” Mizi answered enthusiastically, as Sua shuffled impossibly closer to her, “how was yours.”
“It was kinda boring”, Till shrugged, pulling out his lunch and phone.
“Holy shit!” Till yelled loudly, as the whole occupance of the cafeteria turned towards him. In truth Till didn't even notice all the eyes on him as his hands shook. Ivan announced a special last minute tour…. And one of the venues was a 20 minute walk from his home!
“So gonna tell the class?” Sua asked, looking unimpressed at Till, whilst Mizi excitedly waits for his response.
“It's Ivan”, he squealed, almost sounding out of breath, “he's touring…. I should be able to get tickets”.
“Try not to cum in your pants”, Sua said exasperated, rolling her eyes at him.
At the same time Mizi exclaimed excitedly, “O M G Till! This is so exciting for you!” Sounding genuinely happy for him. She knew how much Ivan meant to her childhood friend, he'd been following Ivan since his debut.
“Ha, oh my God I get to see Ivan in person”, Till couldn't believe his luck. The tickets were due to release in 3 hours, he'd ensure he was home in the room with the best wifi, queuing his laptop, phone and mum’s laptop to ensure one of the devices could secure him a ticket.
Mizi smiled brightly at him whilst Sua seemed annoyed by the whole ordeal, unimpressed by Till's fangirling. “Do you think he'd be impressed by the amount I know about him, like what if I told him about my favorite photo shoot series. Oh! Or how much I like the special addition of his first ever song that he released on his 2nd anniversary!” Till blabbed, more to himself than anyone else.
By the time he was finished speaking Sua had succeeded in dragging Mizi across that canteen away from him. Mizi shot him an apologetic look as they both left together. Not long after Till left the canteen and headed towards his last lecture of the day
After what felt like an excruciatingly long time, to Till, he finished his next lecture, and rushed home. Bolting out his college with his bag barely zipped up- papers almost flying out. The second he got home, he pulled out all his devices and set them up on the ticket website- he'll make sure he gets an early spot in the queue. Till even switches his phone to data in case the house wifi malfunctions and stops working for whatever reason. Better be safe than sorry.
He sat perched on the end of his seat, counting down every second until the tickets were released. He needed to see this show, his life literally depended on it. The clock seemed to be going in slow motion as he waited for the release, he shifted uncontrollably nervous for the wait.
Time seemed to get continuously slower as Till counted down to the ticket release. He grabbed his headphones and shuffled his playlist of Ivan music for good luck, and to quell his boredom waiting.
By what felt like a miracle to Till, the time finally approached where the tickets were supposed to be releasing. Till sprang into action checking all his devices for their spot in the queue, he gasped loudly as his laptop loaded through onto the ticket screen.
He couldn't help but hold his breath as he selected the ticket and put the purchase through. Every single loading screen felt like a bomb waiting to detonate, Till thinks he might die if he gets stuck loading.
He exhales loudly as a notification pops up on his phone confirming the money has come out of his account, the next second a page opened on his browser saying: “congratulations you are going to see Ivan”.
He couldn't believe it…. He actually did it, as his excitement continued he realized his mother's laptop had also loaded through to the page.
Maybe booking a different venue wouldn't hurt? It was Ivan after all and he had saved up the money for it. He chewed his lip deciding if to attend the show from a city over as well, every part of his brain was screaming for him to do it- but the small logical part was saying no.
Before he could think it through, he clicked on the show which was 3 weeks from now in a city over, clicking the ticket to book it. The same bank notification popped up on his phone with the same congratulations message on his mom's laptop.
He guessed he better book a hotel, it would probably be cheaper to book in advance. He scoured the Internet for a while looking for what would be the cheapest option. He found something for pretty cheap only a 10 minutes walk away from the venue.
Now Till was over the adrenaline rush of getting to see Ivan live, the fact he was going to see his idol in the flesh sunk in. He pulled up Ivan's social media tab, glancing at his perfect face, his black leather jacket completely his look.
He couldn't wait to see what outfit Ivan would wear on the tour, he wondered if it would differ between venues. He's listened to recordings of Ivan singing live but he couldn't wait to see how different the in person experience would be. He imagined how he would be able to see each individual drop of sweat rolling down Ivan's face, every time the grip on his mic changed.
Till was torn out of his thoughts as he heard his mother's voice, asking him how uni was.
“Oh it was good thank you, how was work?” Till asked, making conversation with his mother.
“Ah, same as usual, my your looking happy today”, Io giggled as she sat down on the sofa across from where Till was sitting.
“Ivan’s announced a surprise tour and I'm going!” Till announced proudly, puffing out his chest slightly.
“I'm happy for you”, Io answered, smiling softly as she left the room to go and prepare food.
Till knew the next two weeks before he got to see Ivan were going to feel like a form of medieval torture. Making him wait to see the love of his life felt almost too cruel.
The days at University went slower than usual, Mizi and Sua kept his company, but often he found his head wandering towards Ivan. He realized pretty quickly the fact he was going to see Ivan live only aided in making his obsessive tendencies worse. If he thought about Ivan 100% of the time before, he now thinks of him 200% of the time.
He often found himself lost in thought around his Mom, she'd ask if he was okay, or if he was feeling sick. Maybe he is slightly love sick if that is a real thing. He spends even more time posting on his Ivan fan accounts, gushing about how cool the tours will be.
It was now only a week until Till was going to see Ivan live, he could barely sleep properly he was so excited. Today he was planning to leave for the mall to buy a new outfit for Ivan's performance, he needed to look the best he ever had.
Originally he asked Mizi to come with him but she turned him down since Saturday is her and Sua’s date day. Till was surprised they still kept up with this tradition 3 years into their relationship.
Till arrived at the mall and began searching for clothing stores that would have items to his taste. Before he could get too far into the mall he was greeted by a crowd of people all gathered around what seemed to be a single person.
He rolled his eyes at the crowd, people would do anything to speak to any random famous person- he doubted half the crowd even knew who they were.
But his thoughts were cut short when he saw who was in the middle of the crowd. Ivan?!? Till gasped instantly diving into the crowd, he didn't care about the complaints he got from shoving people. He needed to see him.
Eventually, he clawed his way to the front of the crowd where he was stopped by Ivan's bouncers. “Hmm I'm surprised I have so many fans here~” Ivan chided, smirking at the crowd; Till nearly fainted.
He was so hot up close, the red pupils of his eyes shined, anyone could get lost in the bottomless abyss of his eyes. His body was perfect, not too buff but built in all the places that mattered; his hair styled to perfection. Till doesn't think anyone could ever be hotter than this man.
He's surprised he didn't scream to be honest. “Well, it was nice seeing all my fans but I have to get going now”, Ivan said, his smirk not leaving his face.
“Ivan- I-” Till started, then realized what he was saying, flushing brightly. To his surprise, horror and awe Ivan looked at him, raising his eyebrow, a slightly amused look on his face.
Till didn't get to finish his sentence as Ivan's security guards led him away. Before Till knew what he was doing he was following them, he couldn't help it. He trailed behind slowly, watching every turn they made, watching every movement of Ivan's body.
Eventually Ivan reached the end of the mall stepping out and Till snapped back to his senses. What was he doing? He flushed realizing he'd been following Ivan for 10 minutes watching him leave the mall, every movement ingrained in his head.
He stood rooted to the spot for a couple of minutes, trying to process what had happened, he never thought himself to be one of those crazy fans. What possessed him must have been a one off thing, surely. Before he could reflect much more on his actions he remembered he was here for a reason.
He began moving towards the clothing shops, checking out any that looked like they might have clothing to his taste. He finds a store with cute jeans and after flicking through a few, he finds a pair with scandalous rips, the one right below where his ass sits in the jeans. He decides they are perfect for making a statement, and hey if Ivan somehow looks at his ass once that's a win in his books.
He manages to find a cute mesh top with a tiny crop top in the other stores, buying them without too much thought. With his outfit complete all that was left was to wait to see Ivan live.
Once he got home, he lay down in bed exhausted, he couldn't stop thinking about the encounter with Ivan. If he was at that mall did it mean he lived locally? Was Till closer to Ivan than he thought, the idea was exhilarating, the fact Till could run into Ivan at any time. He imagined bumping into Ivan in different places, his favorite was the idea of bumping into Ivan in a bar, sitting down with him getting drinks.
Ivan sat opposite him, laughing at his jokes, smiling at him. He imagined Ivan slowly getting closer to him, running his hand up his thigh, whispering how pretty Till is in his ear.
How his hands would ghost over his pussy, telling how much of a slut he was for getting wet in public- asking if the old men in the bar seeing him like this turned him on. Till would shake his head, reassuring Ivan that only he can make his pussy throb with need.
Till gasped as he began snaking his hand down towards his cunt, which was already soaked with arousal imagining Ivan. He moaned as he pushed a finger inside himself while he used his thumb to circle his clit.
“Mm, Ivan”, he moaned, as he pushed a second finger inside himself, scissoring himself open. “I'm all yours”, he gasped as the pleasure became more intense, building up in his stomach.
Before long he spilled in his pants, his orgasm pulsing through him, making him shake In his bed, as he gasped for air.
He groaned as he got up to change his pants to go to bed.