Chapter Text
There he was, Samuel Novak, again in his now usual booth with his favourite slice of pie. Two weeks ago, he packed his life and left. The only thing he kept was his laptop and his work. He wanted to leave it too, forget about it, leave it on the random corner. But he couldn’t, even if his job was the most boring thing ever, taxes and accounting. As you can imagine, this job isn’t the thrill in the life of a thirtyish year-old man. He didn’t know where he was going, but he really left. He was hopping from town to town. But this time, it was different because he stayed here, in this “village”, It was a small town that had everything, that a city would have just on a smaller scale, well except for the crime rate. Maybe he stayed in some run-down cheap ass motel but every morning he felt more alive in a creaky bed looking at peeling wallpaper than he ever felt in his “own” home with a nice bed and white walls. All the beautiful nature aside maybe the main fact he picked this place was the diner. Because there everything tasted better than anywhere else. Maybe his taste buds were affected by the atmosphere of the diner, the cute waitresses or by the old-time jukebox that only played songs from the 60s and 70s. When he came to this town it was supposed to be just another stop. Well but that stop started to seem like the destination. Maybe the saying “the journey is the destination” is true? If he ignored the homeless gang or the pretty ladies on the corner that never ran out of truckers, they could entertain, it would be the perfect place he could live his life to the fullest.
Sam had this whole monologue in his head. It was just the thing he usually did. For everybody else it would seem weird, but he liked it, he liked to narrate his life. Even if the narration wasn’t something poetic or matter of fact close to being something more than an edgy way of wasting time in his head. Just him and his mind analysing his life and everything else. He wasn’t like this before he left, he was exactly the opposite. Always hardworking, always focused on his work, letting all the “useless” thoughts wash away in his working trance. Just trying to be the best at everything he did. Maybe it was the freedom of leaving everything behind or spell of this diner that befallen his mind.
He was kind of introverted, almost all the time kept to himself, but he had to get used to the voices of everyone here, so he wouldn’t be startled every time a waitress would ask if he wanted a refill. So, he did and even sometimes smiled at one of the waitresses or said something about the food and how it was delicious. But after a few more days he even got used to deep baritone rumbles from the truckers and the usual sleazy pick-up lines they used on the waitresses.
Every voice had started to blend into white noise, but now, suddenly this irritatingly unknown voice was right next to him. This voice was too manly for two beautiful ladies that kept Sam well fed and happy for the last two weeks, but too high pitched for the truckers. He looked towards the voice and there he stood. Man in the pale pink-white outfit that was similar to stuff he saw on the waitresses. It was a weird change, to usually short and thin women that wore charmingly cheap make-up and authentically faked their smiles. There he stood the complete opposite, man in his early twenties on the chubby side, visibly nervous, and smiling from ear to ear. It was obviously apparent that this was his first shift. Sam thought there was no way a person who had worked here for more than a day would have this nice of a smile. “Would you like a refill?” the waiter said breaking the awkward moment since Sam forgot that time moves even if he is deep in his narrating. Sam just nodded it would be few more days until even this “thing” would become another part of white noise symphony. Before the waiter left Sam took a long look at him and added a mental note of how the waiter was contrasting figure to himself. The waiter was not as tall as Sam, and even when he stood there with the tray nervously, because who wouldn’t? He still had a nervously calm aura of charisma that Sam could never have. Sam usually looked like he was somewhere else, or he just got lost from his usual office. The only thing missing was the green hat and suspenders. Glasses, scrawny body but with something strong hidden underneath it all, just the whole pack of cartoonishly accurate nerd.
Of course it wasn’t the last time they met, he had to be good, Sam thought to himself when he started to notice the waiter started to have more shifts. It was a weird change from usual Suzzie that always smiled when Sam ordered cherry pie. Patrick wasn’t just smiling when the pie order came, he was always smiling, it was kind of creepy, why would a minimum wage waiter smile all the time especially at the one person that only returned the smile to waitresses not waiters. But really can you blame Sam for it? He was straight as they come and he loved to be surrounded by women especially ones that had to be nice towards him, he was cold towards men, he didn’t even know why it was just his natural urge to be cold and stoic maybe even egocentric, it was like he had subconsciously always put on a mask for men, not for but because of men. But this waiter was something else even if he was manly looking, he had a smile that was almost girl like. It was too soft for a man this size. Too feminine.
It was making Sam uncomfortable he even stopped smiling altogether even at the waitresses. The waiter was always smiling and even chuckling because of some dry ass jokes from the other patrons. He didn’t even try to notice it but he always did every smirk every sigh he notice it. It must have been because he was so loud or because Sam hadn’t had the time to make him a white noise. But fuck why is Sam suddenly smiling even holding back a laugh because the waiter was constantly trying to do everything quickly, but today wasn’t his day everything he did ended horribly. like right in this moment he spilled a whole tray on a family of four. And maybe its evil or little bit rude but Sam chuckles, no he didn’t chuckle, he bursts out laughing. The waiter is on the floor wiping it and repeating apologies a smidge away from almost crying, when he hears Sam laughing. And even when he feels like total idiot, he starts laughing too even if the victims of his tray attack are looking at him like he lost his mind, he is just laughing. Patrick doesn’t know why he is laughing but it feels good to let out the nervousness he has been holding since he got this job.
After the whole soda catastrophe was eliminated here he was again standing right beside him. “Would you like a refill?” he has tired eyes and after a week of not noticing Sam finally sees the name tag (Patrick ;) the cringy ass emoticon should make Sams stomach turn but no it makes him feel weird pity. “If you promise to not spill it on me” a sharp remark that stings a little. Patrick’s face does something weird, it’s something between smiling and thinking about pouring the coffee on him but he simply chuckles “I promise, don’t you worry won’t happen” with a cold professional tone. And suddenly Sam feels like a dick well maybe because he has been acting like dick sometimes not even saying thank you or just nodding not even looking up from his laptop. So he quickly stutters “yeaharefillwouldbenicethankyou” he says it almost like one word. Patrick stops. It was uncharacteristic for this patron right here, he was usually a dick towards him not returning the smiles and just groaning instead of answering all the time but is he right now nervous? Now its Patrick’s turn to get awkward by staring at Sam. That day Sam leaves a huge tip and that night Sam can’t sleep because he can’t figure out why he left a 100-dollar tip.
From that day forward Sam started to respond with more than simple sentences. He even smiles at Patrick he asks again if he wants a refill. Maybe it was the vulnerability of Patrick or the way Sam laughed and fucked it up. But for Patrick it was just straight up weird, maybe he missed something? Maybe he let his resting bitch face go out during the work hours without noticing or maybe he was rude? But hell it was working suddenly the grumpy patron is giving him smiles and saying thank you. Sam switched it up when he was in the diner he was all sunshine and rainbows, of course that was just one smile and two thank yous for one shift. But for Sam it felt like was straight up standing there bearing his chest so he can get shot.
But in a disappointing reality of the diner it doesn’t change much well to be exact it doesn’t change anything, and for Sam it feels weird he still feels the guilt of being an asshole but he doesn’t know how to get rid of it he keeps leaving huge tips for Patrick but it makes his conscience even more wrong. So he starts subconsciously searching for him, he even notices when Patrick’s shift starts and ends. He noticed that Patrick had the same routine almost every day, he laughs with his colleagues around the beginning of his shift and after that he has that weird empty look like his mind is here, but his spark is somewhere that even he doesn’t know. And another round of laughing and talking with the patrons and colleagues. Well and even if he after all new, one thing Patrick knows how to do well it’s to upsell the truckers and talk shit with old women.
“Another refill?” Patrick said again with an empty kindness. Empty kindness? Yeah Sam took it personally now his pit of guilt deepening even more he started to recount if he did something bad if he said something wrong if he didn’t return a smile. Sam frowned because he took it as his personal fail that Patrick was not smiling ear to ear right now. He had a big urge to be one of the sleazy men that say “you should smile more” to tired waitresses. But he swallowed that and just simply asked “are you okay?”. The moment that left his lips he froze. It was weird. And Patrick stood there with the coffee jug and a smile “excuse me?”. They were both awkward. “areyouokay?” Sam muttered. “yesimokay” Patrick muttered back. The cringe they both felt was excruciating but here it was. The laugh, he laughed, Patrick laughed again that awkward laugh that somehow made the very cringe situation not so cringy. And Sam felt weird pride because of it. Because he was the reason he laughed. But Patrick still awkwardly gave him a quick refill and left as quickly as he came.
It was one of the first moments he got himself written in Patrick’s mind. Sam had been trying it by giving bigger tips but it wasn’t the right way, it was by making him laugh and of course he put it as his biggest mission to make him laugh the most. Even if Patrick sometimes laughed without it reaching his eyes. They were still just a customer and a waiter but it was like they were getting closer. He felt like a stalker, like why would he start acting like this suddenly towards a stranger? But no it was like they resonated with each other even if Sam didn’t know a thing about him just his observations and his thoughts that all he had as evidence for this so-called resonance and lets not start discussing the fact that Samuel had never fancied a man. It was just the vulnerability of it. That soft smile, that laugh. It had to be it. Nothing else. And yeah, maybe the guilt. He even tried to do small talk, talking about the weather or other patrons and suddenly Patrick started to feel familiar.