Chapter Text
It was 2 a.m., and Taph was still making his rounds through the cemetery.
You're probably wondering, "Who in their right mind stays in a cemetery at two in the morning?" Well... when you have a criminal record for stalking important people in your city, finding a well-paying job becomes a little difficult. And nobody wanted this job, so they didn't really have much choice but to hire Taph.
Honestly, he wasn't about to complain about the thing that put food on his table and a roof over his head. He knew things could be much worse. The police certainly thought so—they made the same joke every single time he stopped by the station to get authorization for his overnight shifts.
After all, he wore an electronic ankle monitor.
So what exactly did his job involve?
Well, he was the handyman for the largest cemetery in the city of Robloxiam.
Need someone to dig a grave? Call Taph.
Need someone to receive another body at the funeral home? Taph.
Someone fainted from grief during a funeral and needs help? Taph's got it covered.
The only problem was that Taph was mute, which made quite a few situations painfully awkward.
Like... how exactly do you comfort someone who doesn't know sign language?
It was difficult, but Taph had his methods.
Ridiculous methods, sure—but they worked.
The job was exhausting, but it wasn't like he had many options.
And tonight, Taph was working security.
You know, working in a cemetery doesn't actually mean dealing with ghosts.
Quite the opposite.
His biggest problem was teenagers.
Teenagers vandalizing headstones.
Goth teenagers trying to perform strange rituals on graves.
Teenagers using the cemetery as a place to hook up.
Well... there were witches too, but at least they asked permission before performing their midnight rituals. They were generally very respectful. Taph liked them, even if he didn't believe in any of their magic.
So Taph continued another patrol around the cemetery.
It was a large, ancient cemetery that was still in operation, passed down from generation to generation by a family kind enough to give Taph a job.
He walked past graves, headstones, and flowers lovingly arranged by families who still cared enough to honor the memory of the people they'd lost.
Everything stood neatly aligned in quiet rows.
Taph wished he'd have that someday.
People who would mourn him after he died.
But as an orphan and a criminal...
That would never happen.
With those self-deprecating thoughts swirling through his head, Epitaph planned to head back to his office, enjoy a cup of coffee, and mentally prepare himself for the paperwork he'd have to file at the police station the following day.
Annoying, but mandatory.
His patrol schedule never had fixed days because there simply weren't enough employees.
That had been the plan.
Until he heard something crack.
It wasn't the sound of a flower vase breaking.
Or anything like that.
It sounded...
Like the ground itself was splitting apart.
Turning toward the noise, Taph saw a small crater forming beside the grave of an elderly woman who had been buried only a few months earlier.
The crack widened.
And widened.
And widened.
With every fracture, a faint green light seeped through the earth, bathing the cemetery in an eerie fluorescent glow.
Taph immediately panicked.
His first thought wasn't that something supernatural was happening.
No.
It had to be some elaborate prank by a bunch of bored teenagers.
And if that was true...
He was going to be in serious trouble.
He crouched down to inspect the hole more closely.
But it continued expanding right before his eyes.
More and more.
Brighter and brighter.
Still skeptical—but increasingly alarmed—Taph reached toward the opening, trying to dig with his hands to figure out what those idiots had buried beneath the cemetery.
Instead, he stumbled backward as the earth began to pulse.
The ground cracked violently.
As though some monstrous parasite was forcing its way straight out of Hell.
And how was Taph handling all this?
Terrified.
But not for the reason you'd think.
Of course not.
He was way too weird for that.
The ground had been destroyed.
An unnatural green light glowed beneath his feet.
The headstones tilted at impossible angles as the earth writhed beneath them.
Holy shit.
His boss was absolutely going to fire him for letting this happen.
As panic consumed him over the thought of losing his tiny apartment, Taph noticed something that somehow managed to be even more concerning than homelessness.
Something...
Pushing up through the dirt.
Something...
Being forced out of the earth.
Banished from the soil.
A skeletal hand.
Then an arm.
Finally, an entire black skeleton emerged from the ground, engulfed in emerald flames, wearing a crown patterned like dominoes.
Flesh slowly spread across its arms, legs, and face.
Creating the illusion of humanity.
A creature with white hair shaped like serpents.
Chains wrapped around its entire body.
Eyes burning crimson, as red as the fires of Hell.
The creature locked its gaze onto Taph.
A crooked smile spread across its face.
Then it roared with a voice like a thunderstorm.
"ARE YOU THE CHOSEN ONE SENT TO BANISH ME ONCE AGAIN?! PATHETIC! YOU AREN'T EVEN A DESCENDANT OF ONE OF THE HEROES!"
Every word shook Taph to his core.
Not because of the creature.
The creature wasn't even the biggest issue.
How the hell was he supposed to explain this to his boss?
Or to the families whose loved ones' graves had just been destroyed?
"Oh, hi! Satan climbed out of the ground and wrecked your grandmother's grave. Please don't sue us, and thank you for your understanding!"
God.
Epitaph was so unbelievably screwed.
"ANSWER ME, INSOLENT CREATURE! WERE YOU THE ONE THEY SENT?!"
Taph violently shook his head.
Then he quickly began signing with his hands, desperately hoping that somehow...
Somehow...
Communication might still be possible.
"I wasn't sent by anyone. I work here."
"WHAT ARE THOSE? SOME NEW KIND OF RUNES? THERE IS NO MAGIC IN THOSE GESTURES, INSOLENT WORM!"
As always...
Taph couldn't have nice things.
Sighing, he simply pointed at his throat before shaking his head.
"You're incapable of speaking? Can you at least understand me?"
Taph nodded rapidly.
"Well... that's at least halfway there."
The creature folded its arms.
"I am the King of the Banished Lands. I have returned to kill the descendants of the Four Heroes."
The Four Heroes?
What the hell was that supposed to mean?
Taph stared at the creature as though it had suddenly grown another head.
Which, honestly, wouldn't have surprised him.
Seeing the confusion on his face, the king frowned.
"The Four Heroes... the ones who sealed me beneath this..."
He looked around.
"...cemetery."
"They buried a necromancer in a cemetery?"
"Seriously?"
"Did they want me to reclaim this kingdom?"
He let out an irritated sigh.
Taph stood up and searched through his coat until he found his phone.
He unlocked it, opened the Notes app, and hastily typed out a message before holding the glowing screen toward the king.
The king looked utterly bewildered by the strange glowing object until his eyes finally focused on the words.
> Hi! Good evening, Your Majesty. My name is Epitaph, but you can call me Taph! I'm the cemetery's caretaker and handyman! Would it be possible for you to fix the mess you made while crawling out of the ground? I really don't want to get fired.
The king looked at Taph.
Then at the phone.
Then back at Taph.
For a solid fifteen seconds.
This person had just witnessed an ancient monster crawl out of the earth in the middle of a cemetery...
And the first thing he did was introduce himself and complain about property damage?
With that thought in mind, the king slowly stepped out of the crater.
He snapped his fingers.
The moment the sound echoed through the cemetery, the crater sealed itself shut.
The earth smoothed over.
The headstones slid perfectly back into place.
Seeing everything restored exactly as it had been, Taph dropped to his knees and threw both hands into the air in joyful celebration.
The king simply stared at him.
Still trying to process the message he'd just read.
After several painfully awkward seconds, Taph finally took a better look at the creature.
The flames had vanished.
Where there had once been only bones, dark skin now covered most of his body.
Only his chest remained skeletal, glowing with a vibrant green aura that seemed to replace the missing flesh.
His eyes still burned crimson.
Every strand of his white hair was actually a living snake.
Around his waist hung nothing more than an old, tattered cloth covering him from the hips down.
Well...
At least he wasn't naked.
"Very well, little thing."
The king stood over the kneeling Taph.
"I granted your request."
"Now you'll grant mine."
"You are going to show me this world..."
"...and everything humanity has achieved since my imprisonment."
Well...
That was still better than getting fired.