Chapter Text
Shelby swirled her mug, watching the coffee slosh around. She looked up, smiling at Drift beside her. Drift grinned too, and let her lean into her side with a soft chuckle. She heard Scott and Abolish snicker across the table. She pouted at them grumpily.
“I’m allowed to cuddle my girlfriend.” Shelby muttered. Scott chuckled, covering his mouth with one hand.
“Yes, you are, dear.” He laughed into Abolish’s hair. Abolish smirked, pressing further under Scott’s chin.
“You two are so mean.” Drift laughed.
Abolish held up one hand to signal for them to wait, fishing a phone out of his pocket. He tucked the phone between his cheek and his shoulder mumbling into the phone. His expression darkened quickly. After a few minutes he hung up and glanced at Scott.
“We gotta go.” He whispered urgently. Scott nodded, standing from his chair, Abolish sliding off him.
Scott paused in the doorway.
“We’ll be back later, stay safe!” He called over his shoulder. The two men ducked out into the corridor, the door slamming shut behind them.
Shelby and Drift glanced at each other.
“Want to go get coffee?” Drift asked. Shelby shrugged.
“Sure.”
Shelby paused to grab her jacket from her room before they left. She jogged back out, taking Drift’s hand.
“Let’s go!” They wandered out to the lift, then down the sunny street, arm in arm.
They only made it halfway to the cafe, when they were stopped by someone tugging on the leg of Drift’s jeans. She stopped, glancing down at the tiny hand gripping the denim. She and Shelby ducked to look underneath the park bench beside them.
Huddled beneath the bench were two kids, both drowning in clothes that were definitely adult sized, and definitely belonged to the two men who had left the apartment only a little while before.
“Um, Scott? Abolish?” Shelby whispered cautiously. A mop of cyan blue hair wriggled out of the pile of clothes to peer at them. His bright blue eyes lit up, a broad grin spreading across his face.
“Shebby!” He cried delightedly. Shelby shared a glance with Drift.
“Shebby, Shebby, Shebby!” Mini-Scott sang. Shelby sighed.
“Hey Scott, let’s get you out of there.” She mumbled, managing to catch him under his arms.
“No, no, no!” He wailed, batting at her hands wildly and trying to wriggle free. She released him hurriedly, letting him scramble back to the other shape. Another shaggy mop of hair peeked out of the mound, blinking wide brown eyes at them.
“Shebby?” He mumbled. Shelby smiled gently.
“Hey, Abolish.” She greeted quietly.
She glanced at Drift, who shrugged.
“Carry both of them maybe?” She suggested. Shelby turned back to the two of them, somehow managing to hook her arms under both of them and getting them out. She settled them against her hips, trying to tuck the long tails of their shirts beneath them. Drift scooped up the rest of their clothes.
“Okay, what do we do now?” She asked. Shelby glanced at the two toddlers in her arms, both watching her curiously through their hair.
“Back to the apartment?” She tried. It got no reaction, so she and Drift decided to start walking back.
The moment the door clicked shut behind them, Scott started writhing in her arms again. She set him down hurriedly, Abolish beside him. Scott stumbled over, awkwardly pinning the other under one hand to his stomach, and sticking his head into his face. Once apparently satisfied of his condition, he withdrew.
“How old are they even meant to be?” Drift whispered to Shelby as they watched.
“I have no idea, like three or four maybe?” She mumbled. Drift hummed. Scott turned back to them, glaring at them.
“What?” Shelby asked. He waved his arms bossily,
“Uppy now!” He declared. Shelby rolled her eyes, but scooped him up onto her hip. He started scrambling up the moment she got comfortable, hooking his arms around her throat.
She tried to pull him back and figure out what he wanted, but she figured it out pretty quickly. He bit down squarely on her neck.
“Ow! Scott!” She yelped, yanking him away.
“At least it looks like his teeth aren’t very sharp.” Drift noted carefully as she examined the bite. Shelby sighed.
“Are you hungry? Is that it?” She grumbled. Scott beamed.
“Foo’!” He squealed. Shelby tipped her head.
“Thats food right?” He nodded.
“Foo’.” He agreed solemnly.
“Right, next time, use your words.” Shelby muttered as she put him down again.
“At least we know that they still eat blood, right?” She sighed to Drift. Drift chuckled.
“Fun way to find out, at least.”Shelby rolled her eyes.
“Okay, I’m going to get them some food, maybe you could try and get an express delivery of some toddler clothes?” She suggested. Drift nodded,
“I can take them out to the lounge area to wait.”
Shelby hunted through the cupboards to see if they had anything that could function like a sippy cup, because she definitely did not trust Scott and Abolish’s motor skills right now. By some miracle, they did actually have two kiddy cups in the back of a cupboard.
“Scott you hoarding maniac, thank you!” She whispered as she put them on the bench. She split a bottle of blood between the cups and carried them out to the living room.
Drift looked somewhere between terrified and amused by the scene unfolding on top of her. Scott and Abolish were clambering on top of her, seemingly competing for attention. Abolish was clawing at the back of Scott’s head, trying to pull his hair, and Scott’s hand was mashed into Abolish’s face. His other hand yanking on Drift’s ear insistently.
Shelby snickered, grabbing Abolish by the waist and pulling him backwards. He squealed indignantly as she did, but cut himself off when he spotted the cup in her hand.
“Foo’!” He cried, making grabby motions with his hands. Shelby laughed, setting him down on the couch beside Scott.
She handed them both their respective cups. Abolish studied his cup for a minute before figuring out how the lid worked, but Scott skipped straight to gnawing on the lid. Drift chuckled, taking it off him again and tilting it so he could drink it properly.
Shelby sighed, sinking back into the couch. Drift laughed.
“We’ve had them for about five minutes, and you’re already acting like a world weary eighty year old.” She whispered.
“I am not meant to be the mature one here. That’s Scott’s job. Currently, he is trying to stick his tongue in a sippy cup lid.” Shelby muttered. Drift rolled her eyes.
Shelby sat up, an idea occurring to her.
“Abolish got a call right before they left, right?” She said slowly. Drift sat forward more slowly.
“Yeah, he did.”
“And whoever it was probably has an idea of what happened or how to fix it?” Shelby suggested. Drift nodded slowly. She reached over to Abolish’s hoodie and dig around in the pocket. Shelby reached over and tapped in the passcode, the screen slid open to the default background and the apps that came with the phone. Drift snorted but clicked open the phone app.
The last call was labelled ‘Morcant’. Shelby hummed.
“I wonder who ‘Morcant’ is.” She muttered. Abolish’s head snapped up from his cup.
“Mo’can’?” He mumbled. Shelby smiled encouragingly.
“Yeah, we’re gonna call them, and see if they can help.” She said gently.
“No!” Abolish wailed, “No Mo’can’! No!” Shelby covered her ears reflexively. Mini-Abolish had a serious set of lungs on him. Drift winced and leaned away, clicking the call button.
“Let’s see what happens I guess.” She muttered.
“No!” Abolish screamed again, trying to scramble across Shelby’s lap and grab the phone.
“Ah-ah!” She said, grabbing him around his middle.
“I don’t think so.” She laughed.
They picked up after a minute. The voice that greeted them was old, and probably male.
“Abolish. What’s going on?” He said coolly. Shelby pushed Abolish down as he started another screaming fit.
“Uhm, actually-“ She started.
“Who is this? How did you get this phone?” The man snapped over her.
“This is Drift and Shelby?” Drift tried. There was a beat of silence on the other end as Abolish continued wailing.
“Scott Goldsmith’s roommates? How did you get Abolish’s phone? And what’s that noise?” He asked.
“Those questions actually have kind of the same answer.” Drift said awkwardly.
“Scott and Abolish ran out about an hour ago, and then a little while later we found them but now they’re… mini? Toddlers? I don’t really know.” Shelby explained. Another pause.
“And the screaming?”
“Abolish really didn’t want us to call you.” Shelby laughed. The man sighed.
“Are either of them coherent?” He asked.
“Like, knows what’s going on, or is awake?” Drift clarified.
“Let’s go with, ‘not acting like a toddler’?” The man sighed.
“Oh, yeah no.” Shelby laughed. Another sigh.
“They should be fine within a month. If they’re not, or something else happens, call me. Otherwise, please refrain from using this phone.” He said curtly, and then the call clicked off.
“Right.” Drift said.
“Helpful.” Shelby added.
“No foo’.” Scott informed them, sticking his cup under Shelby’s nose. She sighed.
“More food, coming right up.” She muttered, taking the cup.
She glanced down at Abolish, to see if he wanted more food as well, but he was curled in her lap chewing on his thumb.
“Hey, buddy,” She whispered, gently pulling his hand away from his mouth.
“Do you want some more food?” She asked. He nodded weakly.
She left Abolish with Drift, and went to the kitchen to fill up the sippy cups. As she was screwing the lids back on, the doorbell rang.
“I can get it!” She called to Drift. She ducked over to the door, and grabbed the package waiting outside. She got the cups from the kitchen, and nudged the package along with her foot. She handed the cups to Abolish and Scott, and then tore into the box.
Drift had ordered them both a set of pants, a shirt and a jumper. There was also a few other various baby things and two more sippy cups.
“I didn’t know if we would have any.” Drift said as Shelby pulled them out. She shrugged, and put them down.
“Okay, who wants new clothes?” Shelby asked. Scott perked up, dropping his cup. Thank god for Drift’s vampire reflexes, or there would have been blood everywhere.
He scrambled over and tried to climb on her shoulder.
“No, Scott. Here,” She said, holding out one of the pairs of pants. He switched from trying to climb Shelby to snatching the pants. She laughed, holding it just out of reach to watch him try and jump up to grab it.
Eventually she and Drift stopped laughing at Scott’s shortness, and she helped him get them on. She pulled his adult shirt off, and pulled the smaller one over his head. He giggled delightedly at the bright red fabric.
“Okay, Abolish, your turn.” Drift said, setting him down on the ground. He wobbled over to Shelby, and allowed her to help him into his new clothes.
“Do you want to go have a look at the toys Drift got you?” Shelby suggested. Abolish nodded silently, and Scott darted away to dig through the box.
He produced one of the teddy bears - Drift had thoughtfully ordered two of everything - and immediately started gnawing on it.
“Geez, is that all you do?” Shelby snorted.
Abolish peered into the box slowly, but kept his hands on the edge.
“Hey, buddy. Maybe you want a teddy bear? Or one of these?” She suggested gently, pulling one of the dummies out of the box. He took it silently.
“Scott, do you want a dummy instead of the bear?” She tried. Scott ignored her. She rolled her eyes.
Abolish yawned quietly, stretching out and leaning into Shelby’s side. His dummy almost fell out of his mouth, but Shelby caught it gently. She smiled, moving to support him better.
“You get tired?” She whispered. He nodded sleepily, curling into her. She pressed a hand to her chest.
“Aww. My gosh, he’s adorable.” She cooed. Drift laughed.
“He’s also pretty cute when he’s sleepy as an adult.” She noted. Shelby rolled her eyes.
“But I can’t ‘aww’ him as an adult.” She argued. Drift chuckled. Shelby scooped him up, cradling his sleeping form against her chest.
“I think it’s nap time.” She whispered to Drift. She nodded.
“Scott, ready for a nap?” Drift suggested gently.
“No tired.” He mumbled around the teddy bear in his mouth.
“Abolish is taking a nap.” Drift tried. Scott slowed, and looked at Abolish asleep in Shelby’s arms. He turned to Drift.
“Uppy now!” He declared. Drift rolled her eyes. They carried them both to Scott’s room.
Shelby set Abolish down and tugged the blanket over him. Scott was already half asleep by the time Drift tucked him beside Abolish. They both laughed softly, sneaking out of the room.
“I don’t know if I’m going to survive a month of being a toddler parent.” Shelby sighed the moment they closed the door. Drift hummed.
“I’m going to need a lot of coffee.” She said.
“Agreed.”
———————————————————————
Abolish grunted and shifted. Scott’s arm was across his chest, and the blanket was pulled up over his shoulders. He rolled over into Scott, burying his face in the other man’s shoulder. He groaned.
“Morning.” Scott mumbled. Abolish mumbled something even he didn’t understand.
His brain painfully slowly caught up with what was going on. He hummed slowly.
“Scott,” He mumbled. Scott hummed.
“Why are we in your bed?” Abolish asked groggily.
“Good question.” Scott muttered. There was a long moment of silence while they both considered it.
“There was something about a witch?” Scott ventured sleepily. Abolish grunted.
“Why are we in bed, then?”
“Love, what’s in your mouth?” Scott whispered. Abolish’s brain was way too asleep for this conversation. After a minute, he realised there was, in fact, something in his mouth. He pulled back to pull said object out of his mouth. He couldn’t even get his eyes open properly to look at it.
“Scott.” He muttered.
“It’s a dummy.” Scott groaned tiredly, pulling Abolish back into his chest.
“We can deal with that when I’m not going to fall asleep the moment I move.” He muttered into Abolish’s hair. Abolish made a wordless noise of agreement.
———————————————————————
Abolish sighed into Scott’s shoulder.
“Morning again.” Scott chuckled.
“Are we going to deal with everything now?” Abolish mumbled. Scott sighed.
“My head feels less like someone stuffed it with cotton, so yes, I guess.”
Abolish let Scott slip out of the bed. Scott paused on the edge, not letting go of the blanket.
“Love, slight problem.” He whispered. Abolish hummed, sitting up. He very quickly figured out the problem.
“We’re…”
“Not wearing any clothes? Yeah.” Scott finished. Abolish groaned and sank back into the pillows.
A pile of clothes hit his head with a thump.
“Get changed, we’ve got things to sort.” Scott called. Abolish grumbled but yanked the shirt and jeans on as he slid out of the bed. A teddy bear bounced out of the bed beside him. He picked it up and looked at Scott questioningly. Scott shrugged.
“Let’s go talk to Shelby and Drift.”
Scott pushed the door open slowly.
“Hey guys, didn’t realise you woke up yet, you hungry?” Drift called. Scott glanced at Abolish with a raised brow. Drift rounded the corner and paused.
“Oh.” Was all she said. Abolish tipped his head at her.
“Oh?” Drift paused.
“Shelbs?” She called over her shoulder.
“What’s up?” Shelby answered, coming around the corner with two sippy cups. She also paused beside Drift.
“Oh. They’re big.” Shelby whispered to Drift. “Morning.” She said awkwardly. Scott hummed skeptically.
“I’m going to walk out into the lounge room, and someone’s going to explain to me what’s happening in the next five minutes.” Scott grumbled, dragging Abolish with him into the lounge area.
Scott stopped in the doorway, Abolish stopping at his shoulder. He spotted the baby toys and things strewn across the floor by the couch.
“There is a very reasonable and logical explanation for this.” Drift said as they caught up.
“You’re expecting a baby?” Scott said drily. Shelby squealed, face flushing red.
“No! But can I just say, you must have been a terror as a kid.” Shelby said seriously. Scott opened his mouth, and then closed it.
“I don’t think I want to know.” Abolish muttered. Drift grinned at him sideways.
Shelby pulled out her phone and started tapping through photos.
“Oh my gosh! Yes you do! Abolish you were adorable!” She laughed, shoving a photo of a dark haired toddler curled into Shelby’s chest under his face. Abolish blinked.
“You know what? I’m going back to bed.”