Chapter Text
"So when can I expect a grandson?"
Mira looked up from her cup of tea, meeting her mother in-laws sharp eyes, uneasy swirling in her gut at the thought of the conversation about to be had.
"Well?" Her mother in law, the Queen Consort, Seo-yun snapped, her short temper seeming, if possible, even shorter. "I had no trouble getting pregnant within my first year of marriage. You and Ha-joon have been married for two whole years!" She brought her hand to her brow, irritation clear "And i've gotten no word that you are even close to being with child!"
Mira's head throbbed and her own temper started to rise in turn, this had been the most recurring topic brought up to her in the past two years since she had started living here.
Why aren't you with child?
The Prince needs his heir as soon as possible.
It's your duty a his wife.
You should be honored.
Mira had nothing against children. They were fine. Loud, sticky, and freakishly way too aware sometimes. Maybe it was due to her own distance relationship with her parents that she found children such a alien part of life.
"We were informed by you parents you were in perfect health, and at the prime age for childbearing" Seo-yun shrill voice cut through Mira's thoughts like the screeching of a bird waking someone from a deep slumber in the early morning hours. "If they were lying-"
"They were not Mother in-law." Mira quickly cut in, silently damning her parents and pushing down the sharp snapping words she was dying to say. "It seems I will simply have to try harder to fulfill my wifely duties to our kingdom's Prince." The words felt sour and wrong in her mouth and she felt her stomach roll. Mira ducked her head "I sincerely apologies for my incompetence as your son's wife." Mira bit her lip as she waited for Seo-yun's reaction.
"Very well." She waved Mira off nonchalantly, bringing her own cup of tea to her lips but Mira didn't miss the devilish sneer on her face clearly gave away her delight at Mira's suffering.
Fuck you.
Mira swallowed down a sip of tea. She didn't have any other choice but to grovel. She was stuck between a rock and a hard place, or whatever the saying. Mira's choices were limited. Admit she had been taking contraceptives in secret and return home to the endless abuse and lackluster future that lay with her family, and that was if she wasn't killed for treason first. Or stay at the palace and pretend. Pretend she was overjoyed at marrying Ha-joon. Pretend she was trying her hardest to produce a heir for the kingdom like breeding stock. Pretend she didn't feel sick every time her husband touched her.
Safe to say, Mira was done for.
"I hear you and my mother had morning tea." Ha-joon said as they prepared for bed.
"And?" Mira sighed, trying to keep the sharpness out of her voice as she sat in bed trying to read (some bullshit poetry Seo-yun gave to her). Her mother had always told her to control her tone.
You're too much. Men like obedient women Mira, get yourself under control.
Was it her mother's voice or her own repeating in her head now?
"She was simply asking about a heir." Mira said, trying to get as far away from this conversation as possible. "...Just like everyone else in the kingdom." Ha-joon scoffed as he dressed in his night clothes.
"People wouldn't be gossiping if you simply gave me an heir." Ha-joon said, running a hand through his inky black hair "It's really on you."
Piece of shit.
Ha-joon, like his parents was an intitled narcissist who believed if something was wrong he couldn't possibly be the problem.
Though in this case Mira was technically the reason there was no royal heir. Not that she would ever admit that to anyone. Mira felt dread embrace her like a old friend as Ha-joon crawled onto the bed, cupping her face and kissing her. His hands were rough against her cheek.
Mira remembered the night before her wedding, her last night at home (Not that her family estate had ever been much of a home). After her father had screamed a whole speech at her not to mess this up, her mother had given her a talk about her wifely duties and marital consummation, with such a lack of emotional sensitivity that Mira counted in in the top ten worst talks with her parents.
Mira pushed back her instinct to shove him off, nearly gagging as she heard Ha-joon groan softly. His mouth was demanding, forceful.
It was clear what he wanted, and Mira once again, didn't have much of a choice. Mira never enjoyed this part of being married very much, to the point she wondered if she was normal.
It was normal to love you husband, not to hate him.
It was normal to want to kiss you husband back, not to want to shove him away.
It was normal to have children with you husband, not do everything you can to avoid that.
Just be normal.
Just be normal. Mira repeated the thought as she let Ha-joon push her down onto the bed.
Ha-joon snored peacefully beside her, his arm flung over Mira's body, keeping them close together.
Thankfully in their two years of marriage Mira learned Ha-joon could sleep through a castle invasion.
Mira flung his arm off her body, slipping out of his grip. Don't fucking touch me. The cold air of their room nipped at her bare body, goosebumps rising on her skin. Mira plucked one of her inner garments that had been tossed on the floor and pulled it on. The cool fabric a welcome change to the suffocating heat of Ha-joon's body. Her hair was a mess after enduring a uncomfortable amount of degrading tugging, so she pulled her hair into a loose ponytail.
After one last glance behind her should to double check Ha-joon was asleep Mira slipped out of their room. The hallways were dark as Mira made here way down to the kitchen, her feet padding softly on the woodened floors. The old kitchen doors quietly creaked open as she snuck in.
Mira perked up when she saw the small pouch waiting on the counter for her. It wasn't hard to find a physician desperate enough to make her contraceptives. Sometimes it was scary how much power money had over people.
Mira sat quietly as she heated a kettle on a small fire. Watching the flames flicker. Picking at her nails. Anything to not think about Ha-joon. Anything to avoid feeling the bruises on her hips and thighs. The dirty feeling that never seemed to leave her skin no matter how many times she's scrubbed it raw. The ugly, hideous voice in her head that told her she didn't even like-
Whhheeeeeeee
The soft whistle of the tea kettle jolted Mira out of her thoughts. Mira poured the water into her cup, mixing in the power contained in the pouch until the liquid inside the cup was a murky green color. Mira took a breath, bringing the cup to her lips, despite having taking this foul tasting contraceptive for the past two years, the taste was as horrendous as the first time she drank it. But she had too. Mira just couldn't have a child with the Prince. She refused to.
Bang!
Mira jumped, her cup slipping from her hands and crashing onto the floor, the devastating shattering of ceramic coinciding with the panic that overtook Mira.
Fuck.
She only got one dose a week, and by the time her next dose comes it could be too late.
Fuck!
Mira whipped around, ready to tear into whoever chose to fuck around with her.
The culprit a young woman about Mira's age. She was in servants clothes, which were...suspiciously disheveled. Her black hair was messy. And her brown eyes were wide as she glance around the room before they landed on Mira.
"Ah-! Lady Mira!" She squeaked out, scrambling to fix her bedraggled appearance.
Cute.
Mira blinked, a touch disturbed by the sudden thought that popped into her head. This girl could be the start of Mira's demise.
"Who are you? I've never seen you around here before" Mira said coldly, keeping her tone unreadable. An annoyingly useful habit her parents had drilled into her. "And why is a servant out this late?" The girl swallowed eyes wide with fear.
"I-I'm new." The girl said "Zoey. I'm Zoey! Your...new lady-in-waiting?" She let out a uncomfortable laugh, giving an awkward shrug.
Mira blinked. A new Lady-in-waiting? Mira had dismissed her last four ladies-in-waiting. And now Zoey, this awkward, maybe-but-totally-not-a-little-cute, who had just possibly messed up her chance to stay children free was her new lady-in-waiting.
Just kill her already.