Chapter Text
Peter hates his life.
Okay, maybe not hate, he knows that once life had been good(with a family and freedom), he also knows that outside this cells and labs life is still great, but how can he get it back if it's all so far away? So back in his past? Behind so many locked doors?
The answer is that he can't. He cant and is better to just accept it( he has, truly has )
How did his life become this?( Was it his fault?)
He can't remember anymore.( He can't remember almost anything actually)( he tries not to think about it)
Now there is only pain and darkness as the days bleed into eachother into one big mess( how long has he been here? He lost the count so long ago)
So, actually, yeah, Peter hates his life .( does his life hate him just as much? He hopes so)
Principally now sitting in his cell with his brother at his side , both trying desperately to remember their father's name( did he even had a name?)(was he even real?)
"I-I can't ,Harley" the boy says trying to hold his cry " it has been so long and we haven't ever called him anything other than dad a-and - URGH!" Peter angrily slam his hand on the floor and starts to sob( he ignores the pain that flashes throw his arm)" I can't believe we forgot it"
Harley sighs and pats him miserably( as if the boy wasn't just as sad)
" Me neither, Peter, me neither" the blond kid trys to swipe his own tears away but they continue to flow endless " it's just so unfair , and we can't do anything about it" he looks up in the ceiling for awhile ( Peter wish they could do anything about it)
" what about his face , do you remember it? Because I don't"
Peter shakes his head and lets out an bitter laugh
" No, me neither" there is an awkward silence and Peter can't help but think that they should win the prize of most miserable twins of the year( no , he is being dramatic, there is sure to be more miserable people out there, he needs to be more considerate )
. He glance at his brother and can't help but question " what can you remember? Like , what did he looked like?"
" I can only get his eyes, actually, but that is your fault "
Peter tilts his head "mine?"
" Yeah, every time I see you I see them, they were just like yours " Harley says chuckling
"Really?" Peter says with wide eyes" I can't remember my eyes anymore either, how are they?"
Harley stops at that, staring at his brother eyes, Peter can see the blond boy eyes fill with tears( is Peter hair also blond ? He really wish he could remember), and Peter knows why, know what he is questioning, what he can't stand not knowing
'how did they get to the point to not know their own eyes?'
They don't know ( Peter can't help but blame his bad luck)
Eventually Harley shakes his head as he gets back on track and smile a little, as if he tried to sooth him
"They are Brown" he starts "brown like chocolate, they are soooo big and round" he chuckled "what about mine?"
" Yours are blue, blue like the sky and the sea, I think we travel once to the beach and the sea was the same colour as your eyes , and they are big and round too" And they were, Peter can't help but think.
They go back to the silence ( Peter doesn't like the silence, it normally means sadness)
Peter looks at his hands, they are thin and pale, full of cuts and aching joints. Peter still remembers how they were before, full and the skin pristine as porcelain ( he can't help but think if he was stronger, healthier he would be in better shape, but instead here he is)
Peter try to look at his brother, but the boy was with his head in his knees, his arms hugging his legs to his chest
Peter close his eyes and think that maybe if he die now his brother could finally be free of him( of his problems)
"I don't think we travelled to the beach" Harley abruptly states making Peter basically jump in surprise" didn't we live there?"
" Maybe"
As Peter was about to ask what more Harley remembers of before, the door is open and Ma'am enters , making Peter shiver and Harley flinch, behind her two soldiers were in guard
" Up now" she demands (always so autoritary)
Both boys quickly get up and stand side to side( Peter can't help but notice how he was smaller than his brother )
" Hello ,Ma'am " they great in unison ( always so complying)
" Come with me , now" she says turning around and leaving the boys without option but to follow, with both guards right behind them . ( They don't want fugitives)
The woman leads them till the room were the boys usually train, she open the door and simply states
" You know the thrill " (And they did , they had an routine after all)
First they had an warm up, them the real thing( not that Peter get past the warm up, to weak)
They fight( Harley wins), they run( Harley run Peter drags himself), they did push up and lift weights( Peter can't do neither of them ), and , although Harley was way ahead most nine years old boys, they knew they were not enough to Ma'am, principally Peter who could do little to nothing before collapsing because of asthma.
They knew their time was running out.( Peter times, Harley probably was to be keep)
They knew after she realised they(Peter) were not enough ,they(Peter) would die, probably with a bullet in the head, but they had read about it before ( they had to thanks his father for letting them read whatever they wished from the library )and knew it would probably be fast.( Probably)
After some hours, both kids were exhausted, but Ma'am had yet to tell them to stop, so they continue .( Harley kept sending worried glances at him, he wished he wasn't an problem for his brother)
At some point , Peter disassociate( he really should stop doing it, he has to focus) and just came back to it when she told them to stop, obviously displeased with their performance.( Peter performance)
She came close to Peter who was still trying to get his breath back and slapped him across the face
" How can the child of basically a fighter be such an weak person?" She says and the silence is screaming ( he doesn't think he father was a figther, he still remembers about lab days and machines and helping him fix cars)
Peter eyes stung and he can't produce coherent thoughts
" You two shall go back to your place " ( Always so autoritary)
"Yes,Ma'am "( always so complying)
And back they go, with the same guards in their back.(Do they really think they can run away?)
They try not to cry, they are not supposed to, but it is hard to hold back the tears when they know they are settled to have no food after such an reprimand.( Was what they receive even considerate food?)
They go back and Peter can't help but to access the cell as if it was the first time he was getting in it ( He can remember the despair and the horror)
It was a dime place, with grey walls and leaking in certain places at the ceiling, the floor was bare and dirt, and the only thing that shows that someone lived there was the small cot that Peter and Harley shared.( Harley had tried to make Peter sleep in it alone, Peter told him to fuck off, they were sharing)
Harley walk till said cot and lay with a small sigh and Peter follow short after . They lay there and as Peter was almost drifting off, Harley exclaim
" I know what we can do to stop forgetting!" He sits and turns to look at Peter eyes " we just have to tell eachother what we can remember"( such an good idea, but what if they can't remember anything? what if they get sad? what if it hurts to remember?what if Ma'am don't approve?)
Peter sits too and tilts his head
" How so?" He question
" Easily, every night we tell eachother everything, everything, absolutely everything we can remember from before" he paused " well, at least a part of it, I don't think we can tell absolutely everything every night"
Peter frown and think about it, it's actually a good idea , a really good one actually.( Is it ?)
" Okay, you starts them" he says nodding
" Well, the first thing I remember is father" seeing Peter confused expression he explains " not his name or his face, but his laughing, it was so loud and it was almost as if he was singing, he laughed a lot when he was with us "
" Yeah , he did" Peter agree chuckling ( did he still laugh ? Peter hopes so) " and with Uncle Rhos too"
" Ah, Uncle Rhos, I almost forgot him, he was so funny " Harley exclaim" he and Dad would always be joking and discussing"
" Yeah, they would, and Aunty Pep had to step in" Peter continue
" Can you remember how she would try to stop them just to end up doing it too most of the time?" The blue eyed boy question
" Yes, I think the only one who Dad couldn't get in a discussion like that was with Uncle Appy , and it was just because Appy would always give up discussing and just roll with it " Peter remembers
" Yeah" there is a stop " I miss them"
"Me too" ( it almost kill him every day)
They fell silent after that, there was still so much to remember, but both were in the verge of tears ( Peter has to stop crying, it is not good for him, he needs another way of reacting to sadness, cry if for the weaks and Peter is already weak enough as he is)
" We continue it tomorrow " Harley says
Peter only nods and lay back .( Sleep does not come, he really wish it did)( He really wish he wouldn't wake up)
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In another room , Ma'am read Peter results and can't help but sigh
" It looks like my training has done nothing to the weak one" she furrow her browns " what to do to you?" She paces the place looks around, her eyes stoping at the Spider and an creepy smile surges in her face" it looks like I will have an new subject to you , precious"
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