Work Text:
When the headaches just started, he didn’t give it much thought. They just came back home after four long, busy days in a small town in Nebraska, investigating a series of religion based murders. So when Spencer woke up with a headache, he assumed it was because of tiredness and the lack of sleep. He could faintly hear Aaron and Jack talking downstairs, so he definitely slept longer than he usually did.
Spencer kissed Aaron, pressed a kiss to Jack’s temple, had his morning coffee and the day just seemed to get better. Which wasn’t exactly the truth, he realized, when his headache only got worse by the evening. He hated these days. Luckily, Hotch didn’t seem to notice, Spencer wouldn’t want to be babied now, the headache wasn’t that bad. So all three of them spent the evening watching TV, Spencer just might’ve closed his eyes to rest a bit too often.
When the headache didn’t disappear the next day, he started to worry. He couldn’t let it affect his work, so he tried his best to focus on the pile of documents on his table, but the buzzing in his ears and annoyingly bright light were too much. He rubbed his temple, noticing a concerned glance from Emily. Later, at home, Jack was running around, excitedly telling him about a small tech fest their school was going to organize. Spencer had to put on his best fake smile, despite his head almost bursting from all this commotion. Spencer would never want Jack to feel like his interests didn’t matter. So he listened, smiled, cuddled with Aaron, but inside he felt his anxiety rising.
He knew what severe headaches and light sensitivity could mean. Spencer always was more sensitive to lights and noises, to specific textures, but it wasn’t just that. Migraine was a significant comorbidity in patients with bipolar disorder and schizophrenia. He carried the gene and he always knew that it was a possibility, but he could not accept it. There must be something physically wrong with him. The doctor’s appointment was arranged for the next day.
The next morning, Spencer told Hotch he had to go to a bookstore, to get a first edition of the book he ordered, that’s why he had to leave earlier. Aaron simply nodded, kissed him and whispered: “See you at work.”
They ran some quick tests — neurological exam, MRI scan, blood tests. The doctor promised his results would be ready the next day, so Spencer finally rushed to work. Their team was immediately sent on a new case to Miami, city of bright sun and heat, just what he needed now. Who knew that this headache would almost cost him his life? God, his head actually hurt so bad he felt like crying. Good thing he could use it as a destruction. When the team barged into the house and saved the day, Spencer told Hotch he pretended to have a headache.
“Pretended?” Aaron asked, raising his eyebrow. Of course, he noticed. Hotch always seemed to know what was going on with Spencer, even if he never said anything. On the jet, Hotch said nothing, simply set down beside him, letting the genius use him as a pillow and a comforter.
In the morning he went to get his results. Psychosomatic, really? That was some bullshit, Spencer knew that. It simply can’t be true. He knew how hard it was to be raised by a parent with mental illness, he refused the idea of having biological children. There was still about a 13% chance. Spencer never wished for Jack to experience what it’s like. There has to be something wrong with his body, not mind.
Still, here Spencer was, sitting in the kitchen with a bunch of papers, while Jack was completely swallowed by the game he played on the TV, and Aaron went to get groceries. He didn’t even notice the front door opening and his husband making his way into the kitchen. “Baby, what are you doing?” Hotch’s voice sounded wary.
“Uh… you know that if one parent has the condition, it raises your chances of developing schizophrenia by about 13%.”
“Spencer, you’re not schizophrenic.” Aaron was frowning.
“I know, but there’s still a chance,” Spencer finally looked back at him. “Aaron, I need you to promise me, if…” Hotch tried to speak up, but Spencer shushed him. “If something happens, you would not let it affect Jack. There’s no problem with my assets, they will all go to you both anyway. But I know what it’s like to live with a crazy person, and though I love my mom nonetheless, I would never, never want Jack to go through it.
Spencer’s voice was shaking as he spoke, Aaron took both of his hands in his, squeezing tightly, stopping Spencer’s rambling. “Spencer, you know I always do what’s best for Jack. Now, tell me, where is this all even coming from?”
“I had severe headaches for the past four days. I thought it was some past head trauma or something, but the tests showed I was physically fine.” Spencer relaxed a bit under Hotch’s touch.
“Spence,” Aaron sighed, giving his lover a reassuring smile. “ I know you have a reason to worry, but with our field of work, it’s normal to get exhausted. We had some pretty difficult cases, you haven’t been sleeping well, you were stressed — it all just piled up. There’s nothing wrong with getting tired and needing a break, you just had to tell me.”
“It was nothing at first, and I don’t want to be a burden.” Spencer whispered.
“You’re not a burden, Spencer, you’re my husband. And I love you with all your special traits.” Aaron leaned closer, pressing a soft kiss to Spencer’s lips. “Now c’mon, you’re finally getting the rest that you needed.”
As they walked past the living room, Jack jumped from his game at the sight of his dads. “Papa, the physics in this game don’t work as you told me. Why does…” Jack continued rumbling when Spencer was just about to answer, but Aaron was faster. “Buddy, Spencer doesn’t feel good, now he needs quiet and no bright lights.”
“Sorry,” Jack whispered.
“That’s okay, darling.” Spencer smiled. He loved this boy so much.
“Good night, papa, hope you’re gonna get better soon.” Jack whispered, waving at them.
Inside the bedroom, Aaron helped him change, though Spencer kept muttering that he could do it himself, tucked him into the bed and pulled the curtains shut. “Rest, love.” Hotch kissed his forehead, leaving Spencer in complete darkness.
He then walked back into the living room. “Hey, Jack, I wanted to talk to you.” Jack immediately paused his game, looking back at his father. “Sometimes, Spencer has bad days, he can be more sensitive to the surroundings. When you notice that he’s being a bit weird, like rubbing his temples, closing his eyes and being more quiet, try to understand him. And tell me, okay?”
Jack nodded enthusiastically. “I don’t want papa to be in pain.”
“I know buddy, it’s no one’s fault, We just have to help him sometimes.”
“I can do that,” Jack smiled. “Can I do something now?”
Hotch smiled, hugging his son.
When Spencer woke up, the room was still dark, curtains blocking all the morning light. He rubbed his eyes, slowly getting up. His head hurt a bit less. Downstairs, he found Jack and Aaron in the kitchen, no morning cartoons or news channels playing in the background, instead they quietly did puzzles.
“Morning, boys.” He hugged them both from behind. Jack brought him a cup of coffee, with enough sugar, not too hot, but still warm.
Spencer was used to taking care of himself and not complaining, but it was time to realize he now had people that would like to take care of him, because that's just what you do when you love somebody.