Work Text:
r/relationship_advice • 24d
megumitadori
Is my (23F) best friend (22F) just really sweet, or is she into me?
I think I’m projecting, so I need some outside perspective. My best friend, Y, is the sweetest person in the world. She’d give you the shirt off her back. Literally. She’s done that for me before. She’s also carried me three blocks because my new docs were hurting my feet after standing in a bar for too long. But that’s just the type of person she is. I think she would literally die for a stranger.
And I like her a lot, if that’s not obvious. Actually, I’ve been in love with her for a long time, which is such a crazy thing to type out because I’ve never admitted that to anyone before.
Here’s where I’m conflicted. Because she’s so sweet to everyone, and I mean everyone, I can’t tell if what we have is special, or if she’s just treating me the same way she treats everyone else. I probably wouldn’t be so confused if so much hadn’t changed in the past six months or so.
We both graduated college in May, and I got a really good job in the city, but that meant I had to move away from home. (It was about time I got out of my dads’ house anyway.) She’s done a lot for me in those six months, which started as sort of normal things and evolved into basically a life together. Here’s some things she’s done that have me confused:
- She spent hours helping me pack and move all of my things out of my dads’ house. (Our other friend, N, also helped, but Y was SUPER involved. She even bought me things she knew I’d need for my first apartment, since she has experience living on her own, and snuck them into the boxes she was packing for me. She didn’t even tell me, N was the one who told me.)
- She went in on a graduation gift with my dads: two dogs (which I’ve always wanted, btw), because she wanted me to be safe living on my own.
- She helped me train both of my dogs to not bark unless there’s a threat, be on alert for me, attack if I ever tell them to, etc., like they’re basically guard dogs now.
- We live in the same apartment complex, but not the same building, but she still comes over and lets herself into my apartment every morning (she has a key) and makes breakfast for the two of us.
- She takes my dogs for their walk every morning, and she comes with me to walk them at night because she doesn’t think it’s safe for me to go alone, even though I have both of my dogs with me.
- For the first month(?) or so of living on my own, she invited me to her apartment for dinner every night so I wouldn’t be lonely. Before I even realized it, I started going over to her apartment every night even when she wouldn’t explicitly invite me.
There’s probably more, but everything we do together has become so routine, it’s hard to even identify what might be skewing more romantic versus friendly. It was all gradual, too, so I didn’t even realize how intertwined our lives had become until she introduced me to some of her work friends last week. They all said they’d heard so much about me, and one even straight-up asked if we were dating because we spent a good chunk of our days together, every single day. That’s why I started reflecting on this situation so much.
Fast-forward to a couple of days ago, she suggested that the two of us move in together since we’re both not seeing anyone and we spend so much time together anyway. Is this normal??? I know friends live together all the time, but it feels weirdly special and like an added layer to our relationship with everything else that’s been going on.
Then again, I told Y before we graduated that I was really scared we would drift after college, so maybe she’s overcompensating? I don’t know. I’ve been overthinking this for days. I’m so in love with her, and I don’t want to ruin things between us, but I hate not knowing if what we have is just friendship, or if it could be something more. It would devastate me to see her get a partner, but it would devastate me to lose her as a friend just because I couldn’t control my feelings.
Do you guys think there’s something here? Should I go for it? I’m so lost. And, yet another heavy layer here, I have no idea if she’s even gay. I’ve always avoided having the sexuality talk with my friends and family because I’m not ready to come out as a lesbian. I’m actually still questioning my own sexuality, but I know for sure I love Y. Any thoughts or advice would be greatly appreciated. I really don’t know what to do next.
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AvidLoser • 24d
Girl it sounds like you’re already dating
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wlwofficial • 24d
Baby’s first wlw relationship? Lovingly, you’re oblivious, and Y is super in love with you. Here’s why:
- She’s not only thinking about your safety, she’s personally invested in it. A best friend might suggest you get dogs, maybe even go to an adoption center with you, but to go straight to your dads and help them get the dogs for you? AND she personally trained them to protect you? She’s putting time and money into making sure you’re safe. That’s how much you mean to her.
- She’s also very invested in your day-to-day life. She makes sure you’re fed, and she’s doing “chores” for you (walking your dogs, cooking, probably other things you didn’t write in your post because, like you said, your lives are so intertwined, it’s all just natural now). She’s going out of her way to do, frankly, really boring stuff. Who actually enjoys cooking and walking dogs, enough to spend their mornings doing it for someone else? You don’t do that unless you’re (1) in love or (2) a caretaker. And caretakers get paid. Since you didn’t mention any monetary gain on Y’s part, I think she’s getting something else out of it: knowing that your needs are met and that you’re happy.
- Moving in together is definitely a crazy step. It sounds like you’re both well-off financially. If you weren’t, that wouldn’t be surprising. But you’re both young, single, and financially stable. She wants to be close to you. She clearly likes her life with you in it, or else she wouldn’t suggest this.
- Also, eating two meals a day with the same person when you don’t even live with them is something else. You two are actively going out of your way to spend time with each other every single day, and it sound like you’re both really content with this.
TLDR: You and Y are super gay and in love. Hoping for a “you guys were right, now we’re dating and moved in together” update. (Also, if you feel like it’s too soon to move in together, it’s not, that’s the lesbian way.) Good luck, girl!!
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polliespockies • 24d
gotta agree with the top comments. this all sounded normal at first with the way you describe her being a really good person and then she started making you breakfast every day. also she asked you to LIVE with her??? I love my best friends more than anything in the world but I wouldn’t ask them to live with me unless there was a financial reason, especially in your early 20s when you’re both single and you finally have your own places. that’s literally a DREAM for hooking up, dating, having parties whenever you want, getting partners, whatever you wanna do. maybe she wants to live together specifically so you don’t do that, and she can have you to herself? either way, she likes you for sure. go for it. with the way you describe her, even if she doesn’t feel the same, she won’t hold it against you. nothing to lose, babe! much love & luck!
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݁ ˖Ი𐑼⋆
“I’m offended you went to Reddit before coming to me.”
Nobara plucked her lollipop out of her mouth, catching the attention of Autumn, who pawed at Nobara’s leg. Nobara petted the dog’s head without even looking down; her intense eyes were focused on Megumi, though her expression was overall neutral. Megumi knew her well enough to pick up on her annoyance, though.
Megumi was up to her eyeballs with stress. Her month-old Reddit post had, unfortunately, gone viral among WLW communities across social media. Nobara had found it, somehow, and because she had a brain in her head (and because Megumi’s username was literally hers and Yuuji’s names mashed together), she knew it was Megumi’s post immediately — which simultaneously outed Megumi as a (questioning) lesbian and someone in love with their mutual friend.
“Are you mad at me?”
“Of course I am,” Nobara said. She popped her lollipop back into her mouth for a moment, letting Megumi drown in anxiety — but it all melted away when Nobara flicked her sweet treat into her cheek and threw one of Megumi’s pillows at her, “For not trusting me! First of all, I am very supportive of gay people. And I’m very supportive of you! I also could have told you that Yuuji’s been in love with you for years. You did not have to put yourself on blast like that.”
Megumi was taken aback, albeit hopeful. “Yuuji’s in love with me? Did she tell you that?”
“Well, she hasn’t said those words, but I have eyeballs.”
Megumi groaned. She tilted her head back, made eye contact with the ceiling, and pleaded, “Why can’t I just read minds?”
“You don’t have to read minds, you can just read the room. Your room, specifically, where Yuuji is constantly.”
“She’s not in my room, she’s in my apartment.”
“Oh my God, same difference. She’s in your space every single day. I can count on my fingers how many times I’ve been here!”
“You could come over more, if you want.”
“Not the point I was trying to make at all.”
Megumi felt like she could breathe a little easier, knowing Nobara accepted her sexuality and her feelings for Yuuji. But her heart was still stuttering in her chest, thinking about the next steps. She’d gotten very little adversity to her feelings — save the couple of Reddit dude-bros who insisted what Megumi was feeling was some result of her being abused by men and thinking she had to try women instead. (Megumi didn’t bother with them; they were just homophobic. If she had bothered with them, though, she would have told them, no, she actually had great male figures in her life growing up — Satoru and Suguru were amazing fathers. She was just that gay.)
“What should I do?” Megumi asked.
“Girl, anything,” Nobara said. “I’m sure you could walk up and kiss her and she’d be receptive.”
Nobara paused. “But don’t do that. Talk to her.”
݁ ˖Ი𐑼⋆
r/relationship_advice • 3d
DivineDogs
What can I (23F) do to show my friend (22F) I’m into her, but in a subtle way?
Throwaway account, since my best friend knows about my main account and I’d rather explore this issue with other lesbians.
I just need some advice. My best friend, N, is convinced that our mutual friend, Y, is into me. I’m in love with Y, and our relationship has gotten really intense really quickly since we graduated. In summary: she’s the nicest person on earth, but she’s been even nicer and more involved since I moved out of my dads’ house. She helped me move, bought me things she knew I’d need for my first apartment, helped pay for and train my dogs so I’d be protected, comes over to cook me breakfast every day, etc. She even invited me to move in with her recently, which feels like a really big step for friends to take. But part of me thinks this is just her being as nice as she always is and making an effort to stay close to me because I told her I was really worried we would drift apart after graduation.
My biggest dilemma here is how I can talk to her about this. It’s driving me crazy, and I really just want to know if she’s into me romantically or not. I don’t know how to bring it up, though, and I think I’d rather try to show her how I feel about her than tell her outright, just in case. I don’t know. I’m really nervous about coming out and even more nervous about telling her how I feel about her.
I also feel like I kind of owe it to her, since she’s done so much for me, and I don’t feel like I’ve given her as much care in return.
Has anyone else been in a similar situation: in love with your best friend, and not quite sure how to talk about it or show it? What did you do? How do you express your feelings in a way that doesn’t ruin a friendship?
Thanks for any input.
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ChronicLoverLoser • 2d
I’ve been here before. The hardest part is knowing whether or not she’s gay at all, because if she is at least you know you’re an option. Have you ever had a talk with her about sexuality? Not necessarily yours or even hers, but just in general. Or, if you’re scared to bring it up and potentially out yourself, maybe you try to watch an LGBTQ+ movie with her and see how she responds to it!
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wlwofficial • 2d
I think I commented on your last post 😉 I’m rooting for you, girl!! To dive into your concerns here: Do you trust your best friend, N? The only reason I ask is because N says Y is into you, and, if you trust her, you should just go for it. I know it can be scary, but it sounds like you’re surrounded by really good people, and the only way to go is forward. Rip off the bandaid. It’s going to feel so good once you do. Good luck!
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BowserTeaParty • 1d
If you need ideas, do for her what she does for you! We often give the love we want to receive. If she’s cooking for you, offer to cook for her. If she’s taking care of your pets, offer to take care of hers (if she has any) or do some chores for her. Coming out and/or confessing to her is its own beast. Some of the other comments have good advice, I think you’ll be okay if you do what others have done and just take things one day at a time. Wishing you the best!
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݁ ˖Ი𐑼⋆
“I’m deleting Reddit off your phone.”
Nobara was sitting on Megumi’s couch with Winter, Megumi’s white dog, asleep in her lap. Nobara’s phone was open to Megumi’s most recent Reddit post like she was the FBI and had just found evidence for a case she’d been investigating for months. She tapped on her phone case with two fingers as if it was a desk beneath her hand, patiently waiting for Megumi to explain herself.
“I’m . . . sorry?”
“You’re stupid,” Nobara tossed her phone on the couch, startling Winter. “And I hope you didn’t do anything the comments suggested. It’s out of character for you.”
“Ouch,” Megumi mumbled, genuinely hurt. Was it out of character for her to take care of Yuuji? Was she not good enough? Should she be pursuing Yuuji at all?
“And you’re way too worried about this,” Nobara continued. “Of every single person in the world, do you think Yuuji is gonna care that you’re a lesbian?”
“I mean, I don’t think she’ll hate me, but things could get weird. Maybe she won’t want to live with me anymore.”
“Pause.” Nobara laughed, pinching the bridge of her nose. “I forgot she asked you to live with her. Girl.”
“What?”
“She loves you!” Nobara threw her hands in the air. When they came back down, it was to grab her phone and pet Winter, who was wide awake and wagging her tail. “I’m calling her.”
“Don’t do that,” Megumi pleaded.
Too late.
“Hey babe,” Nobara said over the phone, which ticked something in Megumi, something ugly like jealousy — totally ridiculous on her part, and she knew it. Nobara called everyone babe, except for Megumi because she didn’t like pet names.
“Are you busy?” Nobara paused. “Good. Come over to Megumi’s place, yeah? I wanna surprise her.” She paused again. “Oh, I’m at the store right now, picking up cupcakes. You want chocolate or vanilla?” She snorted. “Of course. Okay, vanilla it is. See you soon, love you.”
Nobara hung up and slid off the couch, heading toward Megumi’s door and calling over her shoulder, “Just so you know, she chose vanilla because you like it!”
“Are you really leaving?” Megumi asked desperately.
“Of course I am. I have cupcakes to buy, and you have a lover girl to confess to.” Nobara pulled her jacket on and lingered by the door, hand on the knob. He other hand lifted into the air, a stern finger pointed at Megumi. “You better have a girlfriend by the time I come back here so we have an actual reason to be eating cupcakes. Do not make me waste my calories for nothing. Twenty minutes. Bye!”
Just like that, Nobara was gone, and Megumi was panicking.
She speed-read through all of the replies to her Reddit post, searching for something she could do or say to reveal her feelings without being too forward—just in case. There had to be something that skewed romantic without being too obvious, that could be passed off as something a really good friend would do, just in case Yuuji wasn’t receptive to her romance.
Should she start with the sexuality talk, after all? Maybe she could use Nobara as a crutch, and say something like, “Nobara and I were talking, and she thinks she’s bisexual,” just to feel out how Yuuji would respond. Maybe Megumi could act like an adult and simply admit to being a lesbian, or soft-launch it somehow.
“Can I tell you something? Lately, I’ve been thinking I’m into women more than men. . . .”
Megumi was going to throw up.
The knock on her door sounded so much louder and more aggressive than it actually was, as if law enforcement was about to bust it down and throw Megumi in prison for life. But it was just Yuuji, standing there with a big smile on her face.
“Hi!” She pulled Megumi into a fleeting hug. “Are you busy? Wanna hang out?”
“Of course.” Megumi tugged her inside. They didn’t let go of each other until Megumi had kicked her door closed, and they only separated because Autumn and Winter sprung up at the sound of Yuuji’s voice and crowded their legs, whining for her attention.
“Hello!” Yuuji sing-songed. She crouched down and welcomed both dogs into her arms. They licked at her face and barked happily into her ears.
“Quiet,” Megumi scolded. Winter whined but didn’t bark again, and Autumn left Yuuji’s side to follow Megumi’s voice instead.
“Do they need to go out?” Yuuji asked.
“Yes, yeah, definitely, let’s take them out.” Some fresh air might help her feel like she could actually breathe again.
When they walked the dogs together, Yuuji always walked Winter. She was the more excitable of the two, and even though Megumi could handle both her dogs perfectly fine by herself, Yuuji always insisted on taking Winter because she didn’t want Megumi to get hurt if Winter pulled on her leash too hard.
“Especially because you hold the leash like this.” Yuuji poked the purple leash, wrapped twice around Megumi’s wrist for a better grip. “She could break your wrist!”
And yet, Yuuji had adopted Megumi’s same style of holding onto the leash. It was more comfortable. She didn’t have to grip as hard. She could tuck her hand into her pocket if she really wanted to, perfectly for early morning, snowy days, and late nights. Or, she could hold Megumi’s hand — because they did that quite a lot. Megumi wasn’t keen on physical contact, but it was different with Yuuji. It always had been. Everything always had been.
“Have you thought more about moving in together?” Yuuji asked casually. She didn’t even look away from Winter, who was sniffing aimlessly at the base of a tree.
“It could be fun,” Megumi said vaguely. She hadn’t been able to give Yuuji a straight answer, for fear of seeming too eager, for fear of falling deeper in love if she were exposed to even more Yuuji on a daily basis.
“I think so, too,” Yuuji said, her voice dropping an octave. She walked slightly ahead of Megumi, following Winter’s eager path. Megumi had to tug Autumn’s leash to get her to walk faster, to catch up to Yuuji.
“But we don’t have to,” Yuuji said after a minute. “It’s totally up to you. It was just an idea . . . to save on rent, you know, since we spend so much time together anyway. But, it’s your space. If you don’t want me there—”
“I do,” Megumi said in a rush, because she couldn’t stand how disappointed Yuuji sounded. Yuuji glanced back at her, not long enough for Megumi to really see her. But something was off, and Megumi only noticed when she saw the look in Yuuji’s eyes. Her shoulders were about to touch her ears, and she was gripping Winter’s leash so hard, the tips of her fingers were turning white. It looked painful, for her nails to dig into her palms like that.
“Do you know why I’m asking?” Yuuji asked. It was so strange to hear her speak without seeing her — just her hair, brushing over her tense shoulders in the wind. Her jacket covered her tattoos, and her pants covered her legs. She could be any girl, if not for her bright pink hair and the way Megumi drifted toward her, always seamlessly drawn into her proximity.
“To save on rent,” Megumi parroted. Why else? Unless —
— no, they just spent a lot of time together. It made sense. They could share meals, take the dogs on their walks, save a little bit of money in the process, keep their friendship fresh since Megumi was so terrified of it falling apart in their adulthood.
“That’s not it,” Yuuji mumbled. She walked a few steps forward, following Winter, and Megumi followed her. She ended up right by Yuuji’s side, since Autumn ran ahead to join her sister, sniffing and whining at a hole in the ground. There was probably a family of rodents down there. Megumi couldn’t care less to explore what her dogs were interested in — because Yuuji’s face was set in a concerned frown, and her eyes were pointed at the ground.
“Yuuji?” Megumi asked. Yuuji glanced at her, then did a double take and maintained eye contact. She worried her teeth against her bottom lip.
“Are you okay?” Megumi asked. She stepped closer, put her hand on Yuuji’s elbow because touch comforted her more than words in most moments.
“Can I tell you something?” Yuuji asked, which felt ironic. How was Megumi supposed to confess if Yuuji had something to say, as well?
Nobara would understand. She might flick icing into Megumi’s hair for making her eat cupcakes without anything to celebrate, but, ultimately, she would understand. Megumi would always put Yuuji first.
“Of course,” Megumi said. She whistled, calling Autumn and Winter to their sides so they could talk without the interruption of dogs whining and tugging at their leashes. Autumn sat down. Winter laid down. And the world was quiet around them.
“I don’t want to move in with you just because it’ll be cheaper,” Yuuji said. She brought her hands together, interlacing her fingers and tugging at her knuckles—a nervous tick. The movement shifted Winter’s leash, and the dog stood up for a moment, but Megumi called her back down. No distractions. Yuuji was more nervous than Megumi had ever seen her, including that one time at the airport when TSA was giving her a hard time because she had a “male name” and she didn’t know how else to explain that she was just given that name at birth.
“I want to move in with you because . . .” Yuuji’s gaze dropped to the ground. She pulled at her knuckles harder, until Megumi gently pushed her hand between both of Yuuji’s so she didn’t hurt herself. Just after she did that, two drops of water hit her palm.
Not now, she begged, looking up at the sky — but there was no rain. Yuuji was crying.
“Did something happen?” Megumi asked, panicked. Her mind sprung to a break-in, something that had made Yuuji nervous to live alone. Megumi’s fingers squeezed Yuuji’s hand, bracing for whatever Yuuji was going to say next. Someone invaded her space. Someone hurt her. They’d been so focused on Megumi’s safety, they didn’t think about Yuuji’s.
“I love you.”
Megumi ceased to exist for a moment, a glitch in the universe as the words tried, but failed, to penetrate her brain. And then, it was all at once, from two different angles — Yuuji . . . loved her? She didn’t say it often, not to Megumi. Nobara and Yuuji would say it to each other because it was easier for them to express their love. But Megumi, she didn’t like touches, or pet names, or saying “I love you” out loud. And Yuuji said it. Could that mean . . . ?
No.
But what else could it mean?
Megumi didn’t know how to ask, but she knew how to reciprocate. “I . . . love you too?”
Sort of.
“Megumi.” Yuuji sighed. She pulled her hand away from Megumi’s so she could squeeze her own knuckles, and she turned her teary eyes toward the sky. It clicked for Megumi at that moment — Yuuji meant it. She loved Megumi. She didn’t want to move into Megumi’s space because the rent would be cheaper, because it would be easier; she wanted to move into Megumi’s space because she loved Megumi.
“I love you, too,” Megumi said with more confidence. Yuuji huffed, another tear sliding down her cheek. Megumi took a half-step forward, and she carefully pinched Yuuji’s chin between her thumb and the side of her pointer finger, inching her face down until they were looking at each other.
“Yuuji,” Megumi said quietly, seriously. “I love you, too.”
The shift in Yuuji’s pupils — drowning in sorrow to swimming in joy — happened right in front of Megumi’s eyes. It was a beautiful sight to see. Even more beautiful, still, was the smile that stretched across Yuuji’s mouth, interrupted only by her own desire to kiss Megumi.
Their kiss was prolonged, in no hurry to separate. They tasted each other’s tongues, and Megumi finally understood what it felt like to kiss someone she loved. She understood why people could do this for hours; she wanted to stay right there, in Yuuji’s arms, for hours.
Autumn and Winter had other plans. The dogs’ patience wore thin, and Autumn jumped to her feet to chase something. Caught off guard, Megumi lost her balance, ripped suddenly away from Yuuji, her paradise, the end of her turmoil. If it weren’t for Yuuji’s reflexes—holding Megumi and grabbing onto the leash at the same time—Megumi would have hit the pavement.
“Wow,” Yuuji said, giggling as she steadied Megumi. “I get to do that for the rest of our lives.”
Nerves ticked back into her expression momentarily. “For as long as you’ll have me.”
“For the rest of our lives,” Megumi confirmed—because there was no way she’d give Yuuji up.
(And there were even less ways that Nobara would ever let them break up. They’d have to do so over her dead body.)
݁ ˖Ი𐑼⋆
r/relationship_advice • 14h
megumitadori
UPDATE: Is my (23F) best friend (22F) just really sweet, or is she into me?
Just wanted to provide an update here: Y and I are now together 🙂 She actually confessed to me while we were out walking the dogs. Thank you for all your help.
P.S. This post was also mine: @DivineDogs What can I (23F) do to show my friend (22F) I’m into her, but in a subtle way? Thank you to everyone who gave me advice on this post, too.
P.P.S. My friend, N, found my original post because my username is my given name mixed with Y’s family name. Piece of advice: Don’t do that if you want to remain anonymous. Reddit is everywhere. I had no idea.
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wlwofficial • 12h
Another sapphic win! I love to see it. I’m so happy for you, babe <3 Wishing you & Y the best! (Also, I reported all the weird men under your posts. Much love.)
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kugisakiipng • 1h
dumbass (lovingly)
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