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Falling. Falling. Falling down.
That's what she remembers.
Falling down into that dark abyss, everything around her crumbling around, leaving her to be deleted. To die. And all she could do was wait for her inevitable fate.
She begged to be able to dance again, doing the Macerena as she did in the hopes that she wouldn't break down, only for others trapped in the dump, like the viruses, telling her to be quiet.
And when those emojis that played her game right before everything came crumbling down—one that wore a black beanie with a blue wig that hid her brown hair and crown, the other one that could express a multitude of emotions—came back, it wasn't for her, but that one other emoji shaped like a hand. They didn't even give her a glance. As they pulled their friend up, she kept shouting, begging for them to save her. But they never heard her pleas. They never bothered to even try.
And now all she could do was wait for her inevitable death while she was all alone in the dump.
Akiko's eyes shot open and she bolted upright, her breaths short and quick as she looked around to where she was, trying to make out everything in the dark. Was she still in the dump? Was she dead? What happened to her?
It took her a while for her to finally realize that she was safe in the bedroom she and Aurelia shared. She looked down and could barely make out Aurelia's beautiful golden body, still asleep. She looked so peaceful, and Akiko could only envy her ability to sleep through the whole night.
Maybe if she walked around a bit, she could tire herself out.
She got up, careful not to wake Aurelia, and walked around the apartment, turning all the lights on, telling herself that she'll get tired eventually.
But even when she did feel tired, she couldn't find it in her to sleep.
She turned the lights off, trying not to panic as the apartment was plunged into darkness once more, and she got back into bed, relieved that Aurelia was still asleep, as if she noticed she was gone.
She didn't notice she was gone.
Did she forget about her already?
Would she wake up and act like she had no idea who she was? Would she leave her and no longer care about anything that happens to her? Would she be left all alone again with nobody that actually cares about her?
Akiko cursed herself for overthinking over that. Aurelia was probably just a heavy sleeper, and heavy sleepers probably didn't notice anything happening around them, or at least things happening around her wouldn't be enough to wake them. She was just being stupid, thinking Aurelia didn't care for her just because she didn't wake up over her absence.
Akiko lay back down, staring at the ceiling while counting pictograms in her head. She would fall asleep eventually.
But she didn't.
She stayed up all night.
Akiko was the first to get up, getting dressed in her shimmery gold top and green jeggings, putting on a belt with a gold star buckle, and styling her neon pink hair in a high ponytail that was messier than usual. She stepped out of the bathroom, stumbling a little, and letting Aurelia get ready.
When Aurelia was finished, Akiko grabbed her arm and pulled her close. "So, my honey," Akiko said, her voice slurring, "Where are we going today?"
"We've been over this," Aurelia answered, "We have an important meeting with Wanderlust today."
"We do?" the memory of Aurelia mentioning that rushed to the front of her mind, "Oh, we do! We've got no time to waste!"
"Hold on, we have some more time. How about we eat something first?"
"Oh, right, that."
Akiko sat down at her and Aurelia's little table, trying to appear as awake as she could, especially when Aurelia finally served her breakfast of eggs and cinnamon oatmeal. And what Akiko was looking forward to most, the coffee. Maybe the coffee would help her stay awake just enough for the meeting, and then she can finally crash when she and Aurelia come back home. Just as long as there was nothing else to do.
"Akiko? Akiko? Are you there?"
Akiko snapped out of her thoughts to see Aurelia sitting across from her.
"You've been picking at your food for a minute."
"I was?"
"Hold on, don't eat anything yet, I'll be right back."
Aurelia got up and left the room, coming back with a thermometer and shoving it in Akiko's mouth. The thermometer beeped and Aurelia took it out, reading the tiny screen. "Your temperature's normal. Any part of you aching?"
Akiko smiled and tried not to cry as she thought about how sweet aurelia was and how she cared a lot for her. Part of her wanted to lie and say she was feeling sick, just so she can stay at home all day and get some sleep at last, and maybe Aurelia would stay and comfort her. But she couldn't see herself doing that to her beloved, and they had an important meeting to attend, and there was the chance that Aurelia would leave her all by herself while she went to the meeting. So she just looked up at Aurelia and answered, "No. And I don't have a sore throat, and I don't have a cough, and I don't feel sick at all."
Akiko had to keep herself from wolfing down all of the food in front of her as a means to prove to Aurelia that she wasn't sick, and was relieved that Aurelia seemed to dismiss it and get back to her own breakfast. After eating the food, Akiko drank her coffee and she, and Aurelia, were ready for the meeting with Wanderlust.
Dancity was particularly bustling at the hour Akiko and Aurelia left. For Aurelia, the crowds and constant business were a far cry from what she was used to back in Floworld, but with Akiko, she'd grown to love it. She looked over to Akiko, who was strangely not as energetic as she usually was, and seemed quite tired.
Akiko wanted to enjoy the bustling streets of Dancity, but 1) she and Aurelia had an important meeting to attend, and they couldn't afford to be late, and 2) she was too tired to do much. She felt Aurelia looking at her, and she gave her a little smile, hoping it would comfort her enough to not question it.
While struggling to not nod off in the middle of walking, Akiko noticed two familiar looking girls, two teenagers, one with purple hair and one with blue hair. "Oh hey, you two!" Akiko greeted, her tiredness almost overpowering the cheer in her voice, "It's always great seeing you two besties!"
"Akiko?" the blue-haired girl, Grace, said, "You know we're dating, right?"
"Oh?" it took a moment for it to click in her head, and then she laughed, "Oh, right, sorry you two. Must've mixed you up with the other girls that were besties. Now what were their names again? I know they started with an L and a G. Layla? Laika? Liam?"
"Layl?" the purple-haired girl, Ari, answered for Akiko.
"Yeah, that's it! Layl and...the other girl."
"You mean-"
"Wish we could stay, but me and Aurelia have a very important meeting to go to, goodbye!"
Akiko started dragging Aurelia along, looking to find the nearest bus stop, only for Aurelia to stop her. "Are you sure you're okay?" Aurelia asked, "You seem very tired. You've been like that for quite some time."
"Oh, I'm okay, don't worry about me."
"But you were picking at your food like you weren't hungry and you've mistaken Grace and Ari for Layl and Gabriela."
"Don't worry. I'm just having one of those days. Now let's go. We can't miss the meeting."
Aurelia wanted to press further, but instead she stayed quiet for the time being. Hopefully they can talk about it after the meeting.
And as for Akiko, as she was leaning against Aurelia's shoulder while they waited for the bus that would take them to the central portal, all she could think about was hoping that the caffeine would kick in soon and that she would stay awake throughout the full meeting.
"And that should conclude our meeting. Any questions?" Wanderlust asked.
Akiko heard that just as she woke up for...she didn't even count how many times she nodded off during the meeting, and she could feel the eyes on her. Ravid especially was giving her a death glare underneath those sunglasses she was sure of it. She didn't want to seem like she fell asleep during the meeting, so even when she had many questions, she just kept quiet. Aurelia would probably fill her in on everything she didn't get.
Everyone got up and left, and Akiko leaned on Aurelia as the two left the castle and were waiting for the portal train to arrive. She and Aurelia didn't say anything, which, while she did love to go on and on and seemingly not get quiet when waiting with Aurelia, was happy for the quiet for once. She didn't feel like talking much.
Finally, the train arrived, and everyone boarded on.
Dancity was still as bustling as ever, but now, Akiko just wanted some quiet. She just wanted to fall back in bed and hopefully be able to get some sleep at last.
But of course, they had to run into someone else. A boy wearing a hoodie and headphones and had purple hair, a mask in one hand. “Elliot!” Akiko exclaimed as she looked at the boy, only to realize that the name didn’t sound right, “No, wait, Kyran. No, Pulse. Rueben? Polo?”
The boy tilted his head. “It’s…Epsilon?”
“Gah! I was right there! It’s nice seeing you again, but we need to head home now.”
As Akiko and Aurelia were leaving, Aurelia felt Epsilon tug on her outfit, bringing her attention back to him. “You know, I sensed something off with Akiko.” he told her, “I know that face, and I have a feeling I know what that tiredness is from.”
“You do?”
“Maybe. I don’t know for sure, but Akiko reminds me of whenever I get obsessed with any of my hyperfixations. My brain focuses on that thing so much that I forget to sleep. And it seems like something’s on her mind and keeping her from sleeping.”
Aurelia thought about it for a moment. She did have the suspicion that Akiko had some trouble sleeping, but Epsilon’s explanation made so much sense that she started sharing the same idea as him.
“I’ll go talk to her. Thank you so much.”
Aurelia waved goodbye to Epsilon before joining Akiko’s side again, and walked Akiko home.
“Akiko?”
“Hm?” Akiko turned to Aurelia, and Aurelia could see the bags under her eyes.
“Can we talk?”
Akiko really did not feel like talking. But with how worried Aurelia looked, she just wanted to give her a little but of comfort. So she sighed and said, “Fine, but I wanna make it quick. I’m tired.”
“That’s what I want to talk to you about. Come on, let’s sit down on the couch.”
Aurelia walked Akiko over to the couch, where Akiko kept fighting the urge to fall asleep, every word a blur. The only thing she cpupd clearly hear was Aurelia asking if something was on her mind that was keeping her from sleeping.
“You seem very tired right now. Maybe you should get a little rest and we’ll talk about it after-“
That was the moment the dam that Akiko could only hold up for so long finally broke, releasing a torrent of tears as she held onto Aurelia and buried her head in her chest, wailing, “But I can’t sleep! I try so hard to but I can’t! I want to sleep! I’m so tired! But I’m too scared of the dark to sleep!”
In that moment, Aurelia felt her heart break into two, then shatter into a million pieces. To see her beloved Akiko, who was usually so energetic, so cheerful, so full of life and such a bubbly sweetheart that allowed her to loosen up and have some fun herself, breaking down, wailing and crying into her chest about how she couldn’t sleep because of her fear of the dark, a fear she just learned about, was enough to make Aurelia start crying as well. She held Akiko close, letting the tears fall from her face as she tried her hardest to comfort her, murmuring comforting things to her, kissing the top of her head, and holding her close until Akiko had cried the last of her tears.
“So you’re afraid of the dark? Was that why you couldn’t sleep?”
Akiko sniffled. “It’s a long story. A very long, painful story. You don’t mind me telling you, do you?”
“If you don’t want to, you don’t have to tell me.”
“No,” Akiko sniffled, “I think I should tell you. I believe you need to know.”
Aurelia put a hand on Akiko’s thigh. “Okay. Then tell me. And if it’s too much, I’m right here.”
Akiko weakly smiled and took a deep breath as she tried to compose what she wanted to tell Aurelia, trying to push some of the pain aside for a moment so she could tell the full story without breaking down.
“Okay. So, remeber when I told you that I was rescued from the smartphone’s trash?”
Aurelia nodded.
“Well, at first, before I was abandoned, everything seemed so normal. There were these emoji people that, at the time, I considered kind of cute. They were a lot smaller than me, of course. They all had to dance to get across to the other side, and they were doing so well. And there were these little robots that were also doing great. Everything seemed so normal. Until all of a sudden, everything crumbled around me.” Akiko held back a few tears as she felt the horrific memories flash before her eyes, “Everything just started falling apart, down into this dark abyss, and I fell too. And there I was, alone in that abyss. I don’t know how long I was down there, and when I begged to be able to dance again, the others down there told me to quiet down.”
Aurelia felt her whole body freeze. “Oh, Selios.”
“And then when those emoji people came back they never gave me a single glance. All they cared about was their friend. I begged for them to help me, but they didn’t care.” Akiko broke down again, clinging onto Aurelia tight and sobbing in her chest, “And every time it’s dark all I can think of is when I fell into that abyss! When I feared my own death! When I was abandoned! And I’m afraid of people leaving me because what if they never come back for me! I was even afraid you stopped caring about me when you didn’t notice I got out of bed last night!”
Aurelia held Akiko even closer as Akiko cried even more, rubbing and patting her back in the hopes that it would comfort her at least a little. She gently kissed the rest of her tears away and hugged her again as Akiko sobbed, "I just want to be able to sleep again without dreaming of my abandonment."
Aurelia wanted to say something to comfort her. Anything that would cheer her up. And she definitely wanted to help Akiko be able to sleep without such horrific nightmares haunting her. But she couldn’t think of anything other than, “I want to help you sleep again.”
Akiko looked up at Aurelia with teary eyes.
“I want to help you sleep without those nightmares haunting you, because it hurts to hear that you were suffering like this. I don’t know how to help you, but I want to try.”
Akiko sniffled. “You do?”
”I do. Because you deserved so much better than what happened to you. You deserved much better than the nightmares. You deserved so much better. Like this.”
Aurelia brought Akiko in for a kiss, one that was tender and showed so much affection and emotion that she couldn’t describe with words alone. And Akiko kissed back, kissing Aurelia like it was the last kiss they would ever have with each other. And when the kiss ended, Akiko took a moment to admire Aurelia before she was brought in for another hug. And in that moment, Akiko felt safe. She felt loved and cared for. And nothing else seemed to matter. Not her past, not the nightmares, nothing else but her and her caring girlfriend.
Soon night fell over Dancity, and Aurelia knew it was time for her and Akiko to go to bed. She reluctantly got up, and so did Akiko. If they were going to start somewhere, then sleeping tonight would be that.
Akiko reluctantly got ready for bed, dreading the dark and the nightmares. But as she got into bed with Aurelia, she strangely felt a sense of warmth and comfort, and as Aurelia brought her in closer, she felt that, even when she was going to suffer from nightmares and struggle to sleep, Aurelia would be there to comfort her and help her sleep just a little better, the very start of her healing.
Akiko turned off the lamp on her nightstand, and Aurelia hugged her even closer. “If you have any nightmares, then wake me. I’ll help you fall asleep again.”
Akiko kissed Aurelia’s cheek. “I will. Thank you so much.”
“Anything for you, my star. Good night.”
“Good night.”
And with that, Aurelia turned off the lamp on her nightstand, making the while bedroom dark. Akiko held onto Aurelia, feeling a sense of comfort from her and letting herself fall asleep. She knew that she would probably not sleep very soundly, at least for tonight, but at the very least, she’ll sleep a little better, and to her, that was a very great start. And tomorrow, she would truly be able to start to heal. It may not be easy, and she felt there would be a long road ahead of her, but it’d be worth it not to be haunted by the past and the nightmares that came with it.