Chapter Text
“My soul,” Sam remembered. “You can touch my soul to get the power to go back to save Dean.”
Then there was a shift in Castiel’s eyes. Red specks rose to the surface. Sam took a startled step back. Now this made sense. Why Cas was acting different, why he seemed to send a chill down Sam’s spine, how Sam grew anxious and depressed. He wrote it off as being near Lucifer again, that the effect of being back in the cage lingered. No, Cas had said yes to Lucifer.
“You know, I’m realizing that there’s no reason to keep you alive,” Lucifer had said. Sam tried to run but Lucifer was quicker, stronger. He pinned Sam down. “Oh, well, there’s one reason. You’re my perfect vessel, Sammy, you were made just for me but you won’t say yes to me.”
“I will never let you possess me again!” Sam shouted. Lucifer clicked his tongue.
“What I’m about to do to you won’t require your consent,” Lucifer threatened before shredding Sam’s clothes.
“No! NO! Don’t touch me!” Sam thrashed under Lucifer’s grip to no avail, bruising himself in the process. Lucifer just laughed at the struggling man beneath him.
“And since you asked so nicely, I will touch your soul,” Lucifer declared.
Hours later, as promised, Lucifer returned with Dean. Dean took one look at the blood in the library, his naked brother’s shredded bleeding skin. An angel warding drawn on the floor beside Sam in Sam’s blood. As soon as Castiel realized what was happening, Sam activated the warding. Castiel was gone but Dean was able to make the connection.
“That wasn’t Cas,” he groaned out, lips split and bleeding. Dean could only stare at the damage on his brother. Claw marks on his back and sides like Lucifer had pinned him by sinking nails into his skin. Bite marks littering Sam’s body. And his legs…
“Hospital,” Dean said. Sam let out a sad chuckle.
“And tell them what? That the devil raped me?”
“Sam–”
“I just want a shower.” Sam struggled to get off of the cement ground. Dean tried to help but he was too scared to touch his brother. He watched helplessly as Sam limped out of the room, blood still pouring down his thighs. Dean wanted to throw up, smash things, bash Lucifer’s skull in and then Cas’s for letting this happen. Then while Sam was in the shower, Cas had returned. Dean wasted no time slamming him into the wall.
“You fucking bastard! You hurt my brother!”
“I’m not Lucifer! Sam’s soul gave me enough power to expel him.”
“You let Lucifer out of the cage!” Dean screamed. Cas grabbed onto Dean’s eyes, his eyes growing wet.
“He told me… He said he wouldn’t hurt anyone. That he could defeat the Darkness,” Cas’s voice broke as he spoke.
“He raped Sam!”
“I know! He made me…Made me watch. I tried to stop him, Dean. I tried,” Cas started to break down. Dean rolled his eyes but pulled him in so Cas could cry on his shoulder.
“I shouldn’t be comforting you. You did this to him, to us! And where’s Lucifer now?”
Cas pushed Dean away. “I fucked up! Is that what you want me to say, Dean? I fucked up again and Sam is once again paying the price. Lucifer told me–”
“Lucifer did! Lucifer said! He’s a liar, Cas! He used you! He used you to hurt Sam!”
“I know!” Cas rubbed his face but Dean could only glare at him. This was the second time Cas had hurt Sam, the first being letting Sam’s wall down just to distract Dean. Now this. This was unforgivable.
“Cas?” Sam’s small voice came from behind Dean. Sam stood in the hall, wrapped in a towel, hair still dripping from the shower. Dean stood protectively in between the two but Cas’s eyes softened. The image of Sam’s bruised body, deep gashes that were still slightly bleeding.
“Sam, I’m so so sor–” Sam rushed forward and hugged Cas. Cas reached up and healed Sam’s wounds.
“Thank God you’re back,” Sam cried.
“God?” Cas scoffed bitterly, holding Sam protectively against his chest. “God let this happen. The Darkness is looking for God and he left. He left us desperate for Lucifer’s help. This, Sam, this was because of God.”
“It was because of you!” Dean shouted. Sam stepped out of Cas’s hold.
“Stop it! Stop fighting. Please! I just want to just forget this day ever happened.”
“Sam–”
“No, Dean. I went to the cage. The only reason why Cas was able to say yes to Lucifer was because I was in the cage.”
“That was different! You thought you were getting visions from God. Cas knew he was saying yes to Lucifer!”
“We were all desperate for a solution,” Sam argued back before gently kissing Dean’s cheek. “I just want to put today behind us.”
Sam returned to his room, leaving Dean and Cas in the hall. Dean stared at Cas with that hate-filled glare that Cas couldn’t stand. Then he turned and followed Sam into his room. Sam was laying under the covers when Dean sat at the edge of his bed, gently brushing the hair out of Sam’s face.
“Tell Cas to leave,” Dean muttered. Sam looked at him.
“I don’t want Cas to leave.”
“He raped you, Sammy!”
Sam sat up and looked at Dean. “No, Lucifer did.”
“And who let Lucifer in?”
“Dean, you’ve raped me before.” That shut Dean up. He subtly looked down at his arm as if to check if the mark was still there. It wasn’t.
“I thought we were past that.”
“We are,” Sam said, reaching to take Dean’s hand in his. “We are but I’m trying to make a point. I can forgive Cas.”
“Well, I can’t.” Dean looked into Sam’s puppy dog eyes and caved ever so slightly. “Not right now at least. What do you need from me? Are you going to slip back into… I mean, are you…”
“Dean, really. I’m fine. I just want to sleep and put this awful day behind me.”
Dean nodded but studied Sam for any sign of a mental crash. Surprisingly, there wasn’t one. Sam was strong, Dean already knew that. But he wasn’t so certain that Sam was “unphased being attacked by your abuser dressed as one of your boyfriends” strong. Dean stood up, took off his shoes, belt and jacket before curling up around Sam. Sam let out a sigh of relief and snuggled closer to Dean.
“I love you. I’m just worried about you,” Dean whispered into Sam’s ear.
“I know. I love you too. But really. I’m fine. It wasn’t even the worst he’s done,” Sam muttered. Dean hated that. He hated that he didn’t know exactly what happened in the cage. He hated that Sam said things like “I’ve been tortured by Lucifer himself, you can’t hurt me.” He hated that Sam could be ripped to shreds and say “Lucifer has done worse” and Dean couldn’t do anything for him. The worst of it all, he hated that when he was a demon, he didn’t care about Sam and just stole his own pleasure from him. When Dean was cured, Sam assured him that he “had been through worse” and it twisted Dean’s stomach that Sam had even kissed him like he hadn’t done something so horrible. But Sam insisted on being strong so Dean just held him, kissed him gently, protected him wherever he could.
“I love you so much, Sammy. More than anything,” he promised. And Sam slept. At three in the morning, Dean woke up to see Cas standing over them. Nothing out of the usual. But before Dean could even speak, Cas spoke first.
“If you’re done with me, I understand but we have to be there for Sam right now.”
“I’m mad at you, Cas. Hell, I’m downright pissed. I blame you fully for this. But I still love you and Sam still loves you. We will work this out. We have no choice. Sam needs us and I know he wants us to stay together,” Dean said. Sam started to stir, a small pitiful whine escaped his lips. Cas simply put his finger on Sam’s forehead and suddenly Sam was smiling in his sleep. He let out a happy mumble and snuggled into Dean.
“He’ll have happy dreams now.”
“Cas,” Dean sighed. “What the hell happened?”
“He used me. I was desperate for someone to help us stop the darkness and he tricked me. I thought he could. Sam thought he could too.”
“But Sam didn’t agree to be his vessel.”
“What do you want me to say? I fucked up and I’m going to spend the rest of my life making it up to Sam.”
“I guess that’s all you can do,” Dean muttered. Cas studied the two for a moment, Sam sleeping happily all curled up in Dean. He had to admit that he was jealous of their bond. They grew up together and were inseparable. Cas often felt like he was the third wheel. This was a new, human emotion that Cas had developed along with love. Sam definitely made Cas feel loved and although so did Dean, it often seemed like Cas was disappointing him. Maybe Sam felt that way too and that’s why he was always loving on Cas. Regardless, Cas would stop at nothing to protect his boys.
The next morning, Sam slept in. Or at least he didn’t get out of bed until late in the day. Cas and Dean didn’t push. They understood. The day after that was more of the same but Dean forced Sam to eat. Then the next week was like that. Sam would sleep in late and Dean would have to wake him up and remind him to eat and shower.
“Look, let’s go on a hunt. Something light to take your mind off of things,” Dean suggested.
“I’m just tired.”
“Yeah because you’re depressed, Sammy. You can’t lie to me. I know you better than anyone else.”
“I’m not– Fine! If you want to go on a damn hunt so bad, let’s go on a hunt,” Sam snapped. Dean blinked, taken aback by the sudden outburst from Sam. But he shrugged it off. Sam was moody, he was going through some things.
“I have to go,” Cas announced.
Dean frowned. “On the hunt?”
“To Heaven. Something happened. The angels can sense the beginning of a Nephilim.”
“A nephilim? You mean a half angel half human hybrid?”
Cas nodded. “Call if you need me but I might take a minute to get to you.”
Then Cas was gone. So Sam and Dean packed up their gear and headed out to do a routine werewolf hunt. Sam didn’t think a few missing hikers was a case but Dean insisted. Get out of the bunker and clear their heads. But then Dean was right! There were two hikers strung up and waiting to become a meal. That was until Sam and Dean got there. There was a struggle, like always but nothing that Dean and Sam couldn’t handle. Until Sam got shot with his own gun.
“No!” Dean gasped, killing the werewolf and rushing to Sam.
“‘M okay. I’m okay,” Sam groaned as Dean laid him on the ground.
“Hey, you have to help us! There’s two more. They’re gonna come back,” the man, Corbin, called out to Dean. Dean looked at the two hikers. He quickly unchained them before going back to Sam.
“I have to get the bullet out and it’s going to hurt,” Dean warned. He hated this. This was supposed to be an easy case. Now Dean was digging through Sam’s body to get a bullet out. This was supposed to get Sam’s mind off of the pain he had just gone through a month ago. Once the bullet was out, the four of them made their way through the woods. Sam seemed to be getting worse and worse with each step until they reached the ranger’s cabin.
“We should pray,” Dean suggested. Sam rolled his eyes at that. “To Cas, I mean.”
“He’s busy.”
“This is more important, Sam!”
Sam opened his mouth like he was going to protest that but decided against it. Dean closed his eyes and folded his hands and said a quick prayer that Cas was listening and would come help Sam. There was no answer.
“He’s busy, Dean,” Sam repeated. Dean huffed and got up.
“I’ll get some firewood.”
Corbin grabbed Dean before he could leave the cabin. “Look, I know he’s your boyfriend but he’s slowing us down.”
“What?” Dean scoffed in disgust. “He just got shot saving your life!”
“But there are werewolves following his scent of blood. Michelle is sick but she’s going to make it. We need to leave him behind.”
“He’s right, Dean,” Sam said from his spot across the room.
“No! NO! I’m not leaving him. Just shut the hell up,” Dean shouted before leaving the cabin, slamming the door on his way out.
Corbin looked over at Sam. “He won’t leave you.”
“Too attached,” Sam agreed with a slight chuckle.
“Look, I’m sorry but we have a chance. And he won’t leave you.”
“What?” Before Sam could even react, Corbin was on him, knee in his bullet wound, hands around his throat. Sam struggled but he was weak from blood loss and pain. He saw the bite mark on Corbin's arm and let out muffled screams for Dean. Black crept around his vision until his whole body seemed to go limp on him. He was aware of the world around him but he couldn’t move, he couldn’t even seem to breathe. But he could hear.
“Corbin, what did you do?” Michelle gasped.
“What I had to do. We need Dean to get us out of here but he wouldn’t leave the dead weight,” Corbin answered. He heard the door open. He heard Dean call his name and press fingers to his neck.
“What happened? What the hell happened?”
“I don’t know, man. He just went. But look, we need to get out of here.”
“So the werewolves can eat him? No, I have to bring him!”
“Dean! Michelle is sick! We need to go and then in the morning you can come back for him.”
Then the softest kiss on his forehead, a few drops of tears on his cheek and he was alone. He felt terrified. How the hell was he supposed to survive whatever was happening to him? He wanted to scream, to kick and punch the air, anything to show that he was not only alive but still fighting. But he just couldn’t move.
Then hours later, he gasped and sat up. He felt over his wound and it was healing rapidly.
“What the fuck?” he whispered to himself. But he didn’t have time to wonder. Werewolves were coming for him and worse than that, Dean was with one without even realizing. Sam got up and got ready to fight.
Meanwhile, Dean was devastated. He couldn’t stand the thought of living without Sam. He tried to pray to Cas with no answer and that was worse. He knew there was only one way out of this. He needed to call Billie, but there was only one way to contact a reaper.
“Michelle, I need you to get the doctor and if she can’t bring me back…no hard feelings. I’ll be with Sam again,” Dean instructed. Michelle watched in absolute horror as Dean swallowed a handful of everything and fell to the ground, seizing. She ran to get the doctor.
“Dean Winchester,” Billie’s smooth voice carried through the air. Dean needed to take a second to watch his dying body before facing her. “I never figured you would take the easy way out.”
“Look, I want to make a deal.”
“Reapers don’t make deals.”
“I know you want us to stay dead but I need you to give Sam back.”
“Can’t do that.”
“Please! He needs to live. You can take me instead.”
“Oh, I will take you, Dean. I’m going to make sure you stay dead. And when Little Sammy dies too, well, I’ll make sure he stays dead as well.” Dean’s eyes widened at her words. Billie smiled. “That’s right! Sam’s alive.”
“But I–”
“You’re coming with me, Dean Winchester. And in five months Sam’s coming too,” Billie threatened but suddenly Dean’s body gasped. Billie scowled. “No matter. I’ll get you soon enough.”
Dean’s soul was forced back into his body. He felt so sick. Actually he leaned over and threw up right on the ground. He was dizzy and the doctor was saying something that he couldn’t quite hear around the fishbowl sound around him.
“My brother is alive!” Dean shouted. Michelle looked confused.
“Brother?” Oh, he shouldn’t have said that out loud. Dean tried to get up started to leave the hospital but the doctor and sheriff wouldn’t let him.
“I have to get to him! He’s out there alone and injured with werewolves! Let me go!”
“How many drugs did he take?” the doctor muttered but Dean got the feeling that she wasn’t asking because of his health. They got him to his room where Michelle sat with him.
“You called Sam your brother,” she said. Sometimes (Sam and Dean have learned) it’s easier for people to understand that there are real life monsters out there but they have trouble wrapping their minds around the idea that two brothers could love each other the way Sam and Dean do.
“I don’t know what I said. All I know is that he’s alive. The reaper told me he was alive. I have to get back to him!”
It felt like a miracle when Dean’s phone lit up with Sam’s name. He frantically answered it, almost dropping his phone in the process. “Sam? Sammy?”
“Dean…” Sam’s voice came through in static. “I-...Corbin-...”
“Yeah, yeah, Michelle and Corbin are both safe. Where are you? Are you alright?”
“No, Corbin….Dean…” Then the line went dead. Corbin? Before Dean could decipher what that was supposed to mean, Dean heard a scream. He ran out of his room, needing to hug the wall as a wave of dizziness washed over him. He found the doctor on the ground, heart ripped out.
“Oh…Corbin…” he realized. He ran down the halls of the hospital looking for Corbin. Dean found the Sheriff dead next but couldn’t stop. He was fortunate to find Michelle, unfortunately she was cornered by Corbin in werewolf form trying to change her.
“Leave her alone!” Dean shouted. Corbin turned and charged at Dean, throwing him into the wall. But that was all he was able to do. A gunshot rang out and Michelle screamed as Corbin fell dead on the ground. Sam stood at the other end of the hall, looking stoic like always. Dean got up and ran to him, hugging him tightly, kissing him a thousand times. Then he reached down to his gun shot wound, or at least where it should be. Dean’s heart sank.
“You were bit,” he realized. Sam shook his head.
“I wasn’t bit.”
“Bullshit! You were gut shot and now there’s no wound! Don’t lie to me, Sammy.”
“Dean, I wasn’t bit! I don’t know what happened.”
Suddenly, Cas was next to them. “I think I know what happened.”
“Nice of you to finally show up! I’ve been praying to you!” Dean yelled. Cas looked more serious than normal.
“Heaven can’t locate the nephilim. Which means the mother is warded.”
“Oh so that was more important than Sam almost dying?”
“Dean–”
“No! You want to be here, you want to be in this relationship but you’re always screwing Sam over. Fucking be here, man! Be here for us! For Sam!”
“Sam’s warded! I have Sam and you warded,” Cas yelled. Dean blinked as he processed the information that Cas wasn’t outright saying.
“Wait…No…No!”
“Sam won’t die because the nephilim won’t let him.”
Sam slowly lifted his hands to his stomach, still flat. “Wait, I–...”
“I’m so sorry, Sam. You’re pregnant with Lucifer’s child.”