Work Text:
Screams. This is what registers to his ears as he stumbles through the corridor, dripping blood against the fine red carpet etched with gold. Large halls on either side of him. He's afraid to look back, and when he does, he finds her just as he had before; Devoid of colour, the last traces of non-monochromatic colours fading away from her being. Her screams. Those are her screams, aren't they?
Subaru can't understand them. He doesn't want to, either. For she had broken his trust; She had chosen to die by his side rather than taking an obvious escape. The girl he had once thought he loved had betrayed him and his trust. She was meant to hate him. Loathe him for his sins, for what he had done and all he had wrought upon the world. So... So WHY!? Why did she forgive him!? After everything he had done... It'd be fine if she had just hated him! He could've trusted her then!
But no... No. He couldn't have that. He had to lose ANOTHER person he could trust.... But, but... That was fine, wasn't it? After all, there was one person in this world that he knew he could always trust. He had known it since that day...
A weight upon his own body. Hands encircling his throat. Her words that she had said to him that day, that had never once left him...
"I will... definitely... kill you."
Subaru, despite himself, allowed a wry smile to cross his features. Ironic, wasn't it? Those very words to Emilia he had once uttered... Those convictions he had held so firm... Well, he had been a fool to trust HER of all people. That naive, untrustworthy girl... Why had he ever wanted to save her? Protect her? If this was the outcome of his actions, if this was what it had amounted to.
Bile still present in his throat, he felt himself spitting up blood, spewing a mix of red and muddy brown across his carpet. What a sorry state he must look to be in now, the once feared Purge King of the Pleiades. Reduced to a stumbling, bleeding, vomiting mess.
But Subaru had always been a wretched, unlovable creature. Becoming a dictator hadn't changed that, had it? No... He had just learned to be wary of people. He had learned to fear people. Above all else, that was what he feared. Humanity itself caused him to act out, to enact his purges upon the populace. In the naive hope that he could create a world he could truly be satisfied in, feel safe in. Yet so long as he can trust no one, can he really feel safe at all? Even if he were to be surrounded by enemies, even if he knew where everyone stood...
Subaru stumbled into his office; he fumbled around until he found that closet door. In a place he kept secret from all else, as he held the last thing precious to him in this world. The last light in his world of everlasting darkness.
As he stumbled into his office, his hair dishevelled, the wound in his side a barely registerable pain, the dark circles under his eyes still there and darker than ever, Subaru spotted her. His last light. The last thing he could hold dear, the last person her could trust...
Ram sat there, slumped against the wall, her legs laid out straight in front of her, an ankle and wrist chained to the wall. Her hair had grown out much since he had first met her, covering one of her eyes. She was clad in a pink kimono. Her one visible eye narrowed at him, and a bloody smile crossed her lips.
"Finally. Did you come ready to die, Barusu?" She asked with that sickeningly sweet smile present on her face. Even with the murderous gleam reflected in her dark red eyes, Subaru savoured every moment that her murderous glare dug deep into him. Drank in her barely concealed murderous intent, in the clear True colours represented across her features.
Yes... That was why he could trust her when he could trust no one else. That was why he had come here ready to die, wasn't it? After all Ram had done for him... Didn't she deserve to exact her wish for vengeance upon him? After all, he had always told himself... If no one else... He would only let himself be killed by her. Lest he let himself be consumed by the colourless apparitions that surrounded him, threatening to swallow him. Like straw, he would hold onto the last bastion of safety in the world flooded with monochrome. Even if holding onto that straw killed him, it was better than being swept away by the current.
He gave her a tired, genuine smile. A rare occurrence for the boy, and perhaps it was the first time he had smiled in years. He stumbled over to her, each step bringing him more pain that he ignored. He collapsed on the wall next to her, sliding to sit down next to her.
"Maybe." He answered with a wry smile. Ram snorted and shook her head, her visible eye tracking his movements.
"How annoying of you, Barusu. Even after all this time, you still continue to be useless... Roswaal-sama never should've agreed to hire you as a Butler in his mansion. You were useless back then, and you still are now, Barusu." Ram commented. Subaru's reminiscent smile still remained across his face... Grateful that they could slip back into their old banter, even at a time such as this.
"Maybe. Well... It's true I can't do anything on my own. Even getting this organisation... I can't do anything myself. I always relied on others to carry out my dirty work for me... I couldn't do shit against Reinhard; I had to rely on Cecilus to hold him back, and now, well... Pleiades is falling." Subaru explained to her, though he could assume that, given the tremors could be felt here, Ram had probably guessed what was happening.
Ram smiled coldly.
"Good. That organisation started when you took away the life of my dearest sister. And look how much blood you have on your hands now... You truly are troublesome, Barusu. A useless, pathetic, merciless, evil man..." Ram trailed off, growing quiet. Subaru couldn't be bothered correcting her; let her assume that he had truly taken away Rem's life. After all, it would only serve to anger her more... And he wanted to give her peace of mind.
"Yeah. It's all my fault, right? I killed all of them, well... What happened, happened. I don't regret everything." Subaru said in a detached tone of voice. Ram cocked an eyebrow at him.
"Really? Even if things are ending this way?" She questioned. Subaru smiled.
"...Yeah. I'd rather have gone down this route... Then continuing to be that stupid, naive boy... Well, eh... Playing the mob boss was fun, but the jig is up now. It's only natural I receive karma for my actions, right? And still... I did what I had to survive. This world was cruel... You taught me that, didn't you? That's why I had to do what I did. You and her taught me that I couldn't trust anyone. That I had to purge everyone... Stick the knife in their back before they did it to me." Subaru explained. Ram scoffed, turning her head away.
"As per usual, Barusu continues to make no sense whatsoever. You really are incompetent... And I hate you for that. It's not fair that you got to live all this time... And she had to die." Ram concluded bitterly. Subaru's smile grew at her intense hatred... Yet again proving just how raw, how true her hatred for him was, and he couldn't get enough of it... When Emilia failed to resent him for what he had done, Ram didn't do that. She saw him for what he truly was, a Monster, and disregarded him for it, hated him for it. He wasn't like Emilia, who grew close to him and didn't resent him for his sins, looking over them because it was convenient, as her love for him overcame her anger toward him for his sins. Wasn't like all those people who cowered in fear, who tried to placate him while secretly being fearful of him. Wasn't like those like Reinhard, who pretended to come to him with offerings and secretly planned to stab him behind the back.
No, Ram was the only person in this world who was Honest. She was above everyone else; only she could lay her heart bare to him, and he could have no doubt in her intentions...
"...Then why don't you change that?" Subaru asked softly. Ram snapped her head back to him, her gaze scrutinising, her eyes narrowed.
"...What do you mean by that, Barusu? Are you talking nonsense, again?" She asked.
Subaru shook his head, his resolve firm.
"You can do it right now; I'll let you. Like you said, this place will be gone soon. My empire is crumbling right before my eyes... But I can at least give you the chance to exact your vengeance before someone who doesn't deserve to does. I'm not letting anyone else kill me. No one but you, Ram. Those colourless abominations don't get the right... No one does but you. From the beginning, you've always been honest with me, haven't you? You always insulted me... Always told me exactly how I was. And when she died... You blamed it all on me. You never once tried to hide your hatred for me, your distaste for me... All these years... The only one who I knew the true colours of... Was you. You saw me for what I am, and in turn I see you for what you are. Only you... You're the only one I'd ever grant the gift of ending the Purge King too." Subaru explained, his eyes full of genuine adoration... It was strange; was he crazy for feeling such affection for this girl who hated him above all else? And yet he couldn't even bring himself to hate Ram anymore; maybe he did at one point... But their mutual hatred had become the last crutch to fall back on.
Ram pursed her lips, her gaze still suspicious before a small smile crossed her face.
"...Hmph. You never fail to confuse me, Barusu. But I think I understand... You've said before that you can't see anyone in colour, can you? I doubted you before... But I think you're insane enough to operate that way. Very well, Ram will give Barusu the end he desires. It is what Ram wishes, and Ram must pay back Barusu for granting her this gift. I'll even make it less painful just out of care for you, Barusu. You were so nice to make your feelings clear to me, after all." Ram explained. Subaru chuckled, struggling to stand up as he grabbed the key to Ram's chains and slowly undid them.
Ram tried and failed to stand up, having not been able to walk around at all for literal years. Subaru collapsed against the wall again. He could hear Ram shuffling behind him. Eventually, he felt a warmth pressing up against his back. Soft, almost porcelain-like, frail arms wrapped around his chest, and he relished her embrace. The embrace of death. He tilted his head down, looking at her light, pale arms. His last sight in this world.
Ram inched closer toward him, her mouth hovering near his ear. He could feel her breath near his ear, sending shivers down his spine. She lifted her chains around her neck, and yet still... Placed them around with care, softening her grip and not gripping as hard as he had suspected she would. It was painful, still, but he appreciated her care.
Subaru didn't struggle at all, welcoming the pain. Ram whispered softly in his ear.
"The end is here, Barusu... And yet... Ram feels as if she should tell you how she feels. It's true, Ram has hated you all this time... Even now, she still wants to kill you for what you did to her sister... But... Ram must admit... She is thankful you would do this for her. So Ram feels indebted to you in a way, Barusu. So she will make this as comfortable for Barusu as she can. If you have any requests, Barusu... I will try to grant it, after all... You are our honoured guest." She whispered with a small smile. Subaru savoured every syllable of every word she whispered to him, clinging onto her words as if they were so precious, as if they were the only things in the entire world.
"I only have one thing I want to ask... The last thing I see in this world, Ram... I want it... to be... your face." He choked out, his voice and breath raspy. Ram's smile was warm, though Subaru couldn't see it just yet. Her embrace tightened as she further wrapped her arms around him.
"Of course, Barusu. Ram supposes she will let you see her beautiful face as the last thing in this world..." She whispered. They stayed silent for a while. Subaru made a few gagging sounds, but that was it. He could feel it, the air leaving his lungs... His face growing purple. Eventually, Ram removed the chains. Subaru fell backwards, his head falling into her lap. It felt soft, warm, and he wouldn't trade this feeling for anything in the world. Perhaps an evil monster such as him didn't deserve this.. But he didn't care anymore. He just wanted to die. He had been drowning all this time... And now he had finally found his salvation.
Ram looked down upon him, her hair falling down in cascades. She smiled down at him, warm, genuine, which almost confused him. His vision flickered, but he held onto the pink hair, the red eyes, the pale face, drinking in her colour like a starving man who had found an oasis.
And she uttered the last words Subaru would hear as he felt his consciousness fade from the world.
"Barusu... Ram must... Thank you... Please... Rest well..."
"And say hello to Rem for me, Barusu. Tell her her sister misses her... I hope I can join both of you soon." Ram whispered, so faint he almost didn't hear it.
And yet all he could think as he faded away...
I... Love you.