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Mike was a ghost in the hallways. He moved silently with his hands always in the pockets of his drawstring zip-up.
It was like he was on autopilot, only doing just enough to get by. He was withdrawing from everyone and everything again. The Party drew more concerned every passing day.
And at least in 1984, Mike spent more time being angry at the world. Taking it out on school, his teachers, his parents. Now his sharp anger morphed into a deep melancholy.
His friends didn’t know what to do or say to him. They all witnessed the gate closing, taking the Upside Down and El with it.
Mike ignored them. His friends are practically begging him to talk to them, but how can he? How can he put into words that he felt his entire world collapse in those last minutes?
How he swore he felt his heart stop beating. How he feared he was going to drop dead right there.
Maybe he already did, and now he’s just a ghost haunting along the paths that Mike Wheeler used to tread.
Mike navigated the hall, keeping his head down and hood up.
Most students moved out of the way to avoid him. Even with his status as a resident loser and nerd, some of his classmates could see a change in his behavior.
He stopped participating in class. He’d slip in silently, sitting down in the back instead of his usual seat in the front. His eyes frequently glazed over, sometimes even haunted, like he was reliving something in his head.
His mind was permanently split as Before El and After El. Every surface of his brain is now entirely made of her.
Mike made a list in his head of all the things he’ll miss about her. Whenever something reminded him of her, he’d repeat the list in his head.
How her eyes were so big and round, like a baby deer. He could never say no to her when she would make her eyes widen and go glossy while pouting.
She was always reserved, a casualty of growing up in the lab where it was better not to draw attention to yourself. But whenever they were alone, she became a free spirit, her lips pulled up at the corners in a full smile that belonged to him and only him.
It’s all he wants to think about. It’s all he can think about. His biggest fear has already been realized. He lost her. Now all he can do is focus on not forgetting a single detail about her, from the way her hair felt when he used to run his fingers through it to the way her lips tasted.
He didn’t want to forget a thing.
His shoulder harshly bumped into another. The heavier body had Mike taking a full step back. His hands wedged out of his pockets to maintain his balance.
“Watch it, Wheeler. You askin’ for a beating?”
Andy. He appeared to be walking with Chance and the Junior Cheer Captain, Stacey Albright, before Mike accidentally bumped into him.
His fists curled into the fabric of Mike’s dark blue hoodie.
“Not today, Andy.” He mumbled, not bothering to look up.
Stacey was the first to notice a photo strip by their feet. She picked it up and turned it around to examine the frames.
One person was clearly Mike, but next to him was a girl she had never seen before, and Stacey prided herself on knowing every girl in this town.
The border around all the photos had the logo of the Hawk theater and was time-stamped with the date September 21, 1987.
The first frame was of Mike and the girl smiling, their cheeks pressed right up against each other.
In the second frame, the girl kissed him on the cheek. Mike’s face was a mixture of delight and shock, his mouth half open, like he was going to say a quip.
The third had Mike cupping her cheek and legs in his lap as he kissed her. The girl’s arms were wrapped around his neck, her fingers intertwining in his hair.
The aftermath was the fourth and final frame with both of their eyes closed and their foreheads connected.
Chance peered over Stacey’s shoulder, snickering, and he elbowed Andy. He glared at Chance, not noticing what he was trying to bring to his attention.
His eyebrows rose, “Whoa, ho! What do we have here?” He grabbed the strip from Stacey.
At his giddy tone, Mike’s head snapped up.
“Give it back, Andy.” His face paled further, making his already white skin appear ghastly.
Mike’s arm darted out, but Andy pulled it away.
“Who is this babe? She’s way too pretty for you, Wheeler.” Andy crowed, holding the photos above his head.
“Bet there’s something wrong with her if she’s with him.” Chance laughed.
Mike’s face changed color rapidly from white to red. His ears felt hot, and he felt his nails bite into the palms of his hands.
Andy’s eyes surveyed the little crowd that gathered. “What would happen if…” His other hand crept up to the photos, holding them now in both hands. “I just…”
He made a quick motion as if he was going to rip it in two.
Suddenly, his back met the cold lockers, his breath momentarily leaving him. He dropped the photo strip in shock.
Andy’s wide eyes faced Mike’s for the first time in weeks. His hoodie slipped off his head, showing the dark circles under his eyes and his unkempt hair.
Mike’s grip tightened around the lapels of Andy’s letterman jacket, his fingers turning white. Despite Andy having a larger mass than Mike, Mike still had several inches on him, and he used it to his advantage. Andy’s toes scraped the linoleum floor, searching for purchase.
He tried to fight out of his hold, but Mike somehow possessed unnatural strength.
“Get off, freak!”
Chance and Stacey were left gawking at the sight of Andy being manhandled against the lockers. The small crowd that Andy used to egg on Mike, he now wishes nothing more than for them to disperse.
Mike remained silent, his breath coming heavy and shakily out of his nose. His last shred of control left him.
He couldn’t handle it anymore. Ever since she left, he hasn’t been living; could he even call it surviving when every nerve in his body is screaming at him to let go?
The heaviness in his chest burned; no matter how hard he breathed in, the pressure mounted. Soon, he wasn’t going to be able to support the weight, and his chest would cave in.
Multiple feet squeaked against the flooring, running towards them.
Andy glanced wearily at Wheeler’s nerd herd. They noticed the crowd and pushed their way through. Traitor Sinclair is leading them.
“Leave him alone, assholes!” Dustin shouted.
“Hey! It’s your boy who went all psycho and shoved Andy. Now he won’t let go.” Chance bit back.
Max spotted the photos on the floor.
“Mike…Mike!”
His eyes moved back to Mike after Lucas called his name. It was like no one was there. His eyes remained glued to his face. His eyes rimmed red, but he refused to cry.
Lucas carefully set his hand on Mike’s shoulder. “Come on, Mike…”
Max scooped up the photos. She sighed deeply, tracing a finger along her best friend’s face.
Will’s head appeared over her shoulder. “Oh.”
Max’s voice hardened, “Where did you get this?”
“Finder’s keepers, Wheeler dropped when he ran into Andy like retard.” Chance said, reaching out with a hand, trying to snatch it back.
Max moved swiftly away, with Dustin coming to slap Chance’s hand.
“Who even is she, Mayfield?” Stacey asked with her arms crossed.
She tried to appear haughty, but the inquisitive inflection in her voice suggested even she was curious.
Lucas was still whispering into Mike’s ear. The latter made no indication that he was absorbing anything he was saying.
Max held up the photo strip for Lucas to see. His eyes widened minutely before his whispering increased rapidly.
“He’s not worth it, Mike. What would El say? She’d call him a stupid mouth breather and ignore him.” He tried again to pull him away by his shoulder.
Finally, Lucas felt him give a little bit. He didn’t want to slacken his grip just in case anything else was—
“He was going to rip her up.”
The voice was so soft that Lucas first thought he was imagining it, but he saw Mike’s throat bob as he tried to swallow.
“He didn’t, okay? Max has her. Just let him go.”
Mike breathed a hard, deep breath, his shoulders shaking as he slowly released his hold on Andy, one finger at a time.
Andy slumped back down to the ground, the lockers clanging noisily.
Lucas moved his other hand to Mike’s shoulder, gently steering him away from Andy. “Go to the AV room now, take a breather.”
Mike pulled up his hood, hiding his feelings once again. He made direct eye contact with Max. She nodded once, holding up her hand.
His feet automatically carried him over, taking care in handling the strip from Max. The weight in his chest loosened slightly now she was back in his hands.
He held up the print to his forehead, furrowing his brows as he could somehow sear the images in his brain forever.
Max patted him on the back, gently pushing him off in the direction of the AV room. “Go.”
Mike stalked off, his shoulders hunched and his hands in his jacket pockets. The surrounding students gave him a wide berth.
Lucas turned his attention back to Andy. “What did I tell you before about picking on my friends?”
The older jock rolled his eyes, seemingly gaining back his bravado as soon as Mike was out of sight. “Fuck off, Sinclair. How was I supposed to know Wheeler would flip his shit like that?”
“We got more ammo now.” Chance chuckled, hitting the back of his hand off of Andy’s bicep. “Who knew Wheeler got himself a girl. Maybe he can introduce us sometime, if you know what I mean.” He wiggled his eyebrows.
Stacey scoffed, “You’re disgusting.”
Max shoved Chance with both hands to his chest, sending him back a step or two. “She fucking dead you assholes.”
Lucas slotted a finger through one of her belt loops, holding her in place in case she tried to punch one or let’s face it…all of them.
“We lost her a month ago,” Will said softly.
“Mike was gonna propose.”
The others whipped their heads around, giving a hard stare at Dustin.
“What?” He shrugged, “We all know he was.”
“That’s nobodi’s business, Dustin. They don’t deserve to know anything about Mike and El.” Max snapped.
Lucas sighed, “Just leave him the fuck alone, alright? You try to pull this shit again, and I’m not pulling him off of you next time.”
Dustin nodded, “You do not want to deal with an actually pissed off Mike Wheeler.”
“Let’s go, guys,” Will said to the remaining Party. He wanted to get to the AV room as soon as possible. He didn’t want to leave Mike alone.
Lucas tugged Max back, returning the way they came.
The door was closed, and there was no sound coming from inside. Will opened the door slowly, trying not to startle Mike if he was still in there.
A broken apart speaker was on the main desk. Mike’s head was down, toying with a screwdriver. Several parts littered the floor.
“I’m okay.” He muttered.
The others exchanged glances.
“You are not okay.” Max scoffed.
Mike gave her a sharp look. Max didn’t say it to be mean, she said because that’s how she’s feeling too.
She lost her best friend, and it somehow feels more painful than Vecna breaking every limb. She couldn’t imagine what Mike’s feeling.
Looking back, she had so many regrets about her friendship with El. Summer of ‘85 was the best of her life; she’s never had a girlfriend before, despite the confidence she exuded to the teenage superhero.
When she was depressed because of Billy that fall, she closed herself off from everyone, including El. When she found out about her school issues, she wanted nothing more than to punch Angela in the face, but she also couldn’t help but feel the burning guilt in her gut.
She barely got a day with her when she woke up from her coma, and then El was gone that night.
Max loved her so much she wished she had gotten to say it.
“I said I’m okay, and I mean it. Andy always pissed me off.”
The air in the room felt heavy.
“Well, I miss her,” Dustin said, crossing his arms and plopping himself on an open seat. “I really fucking miss her.”
He knew his role in the Party: mood maker, jokester, the guy who comes up with the most ridiculous plans…to then needing to get bailed out by a plan that actually worked… cough cough Mike.
The point is, he tries his best to never show that he’s down or upset. When El disappeared that night, he lost it. Tearing at the soldier who bear hugged him, essentially taking him to the ground. His still-healing nose could not get enough air.
It was the worst feeling in the world, and at the time and the days that followed, he didn’t a shit if the Party or his fellow students knew he was upset.
Will once said that he and El together were like a band of puppies. Clumsy, all over the place, and each other with no regard for anyone’s space. But once the puppies get tired and the dopamine in the air has reached max capacity, you realize that the two of them together are the life of the party.
After Mike, Dustin always considered himself the second person who believed in her and became her friend. He trusted her on the second day of knowing her. He won’t ever claim it to be the night they found her because he was never as crazy as Mike never.
Mike knew the moment he laid eyes on her at 12 years old. That was his soulmate, and Dustin was never going to pretend otherwise.
Mike pointedly ignored him, going back to tightening a bracket.
Lucas sighed, sitting beside Dustin. “Remember that one time we were in the junkyard, and we found that waterbed? El had never seen one, and she started jumping on it using her powers.”
Dustin cackled, “She went so high! That was so fun.”
“Until you made it burst and drenched the rest of us,” Max said with an eye roll.
“Hey, El didn’t care, she was soaking wet, and she couldn’t stop laughing.”
Mike’s jaw ticked.
Will smiled, “What about that time she tried hot sauce for the first time?”
Max gagged, “Oh, she hated it!”
“Movie nights were the best.” Dustin said, “She would always ask questions.”
“Took us four hours to get through A New Hope.” Lucas’s smile dimmed, “Worth it though.”
The mood dipped. Lucas chose to stare at the radio-filled shelves. Four years later, and he still feels the twinge of residual guilt in his chest for how he treated El when they met.
El never held it against him, though; she was always willing to help him out.
The number of times he probably had to thank El for convincing Max to give him the time of day when he fucked up…he should’ve given her all the waffles in the world as compensation.
Lucas always considered himself one of El’s prominent protectors. She felt the safest sandwiched between him and Mike. His chest ached remembering when Mike told him about the trouble she had in Lenora. He would’ve done anything to put those bullies in their place.
She was there for him as much as she could when Max was stuck in her coma. The two party members who were closest to her, they spent hours sitting in those chairs talking about anything and everything. He never got to tell her how grateful he was for that.
“Can you guys stop? Seriously, I’m trying to get this done.” Mike said, his knuckles turning white from gripping the screwdriver too hard.
“You have to talk about her eventually, Mike.” Will prompted softly, “It’ll make you feel better.”
Will did, with his mom. Hopper never mentions her, but Will, Jonathan, and Joyce talk about her every night. After all, that was his sister. Even though Lenora was considered hell by basically all of them, it was the first time in a long time that it truly felt like a family.
Mike swallowed roughly, “She’s the first thing on my mind when I wake up, she’s the last thing I think of as I fall asleep. There isn’t a part of me that hasn’t been consumed by her.”
The rest of the Party looked on with sad expressions.
“I’m not okay. I’m not okay.” Mike continued to shake his head.
“I’m never going to be okay.” He dropped the screwdriver with a dull thud onto the table. “It’s like there is this black hole in my chest and nothing will fill it.”
Will placed a careful hand on his upper arm, “You’re allowed to not be okay, Mike. You’re allowed to not be okay as long as you want.”
The words of his best friend were the catalyst. A stray tear escaped, then another, and another until Mike was sobbing into his hands.
Will tightened his hold on his upper arm, scooting his chair closer to put his arm around him. One by one, the rest of the party joined in on the group hug.
He was shaking, and every breath he drew felt like he wasn’t getting enough oxygen. The arms around him acted like a weighted blanket, keeping him grounded, keeping him here.
And that’s all that anyone can hope for him.