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What will you do now?
You froze. Those were the words that ripped you from the stupor you'd found yourself falling into after understanding that you were never going home. This voice, this whisper...it had been speaking to you for hours now.
"…Who are you?"
It doesn't respond right away. Seemingly mulling over its answer. I am like you, in many ways.
"That's not an answer." You glanced around the confines of the SM-[REDACTED]. The condensation picking up the rust that would inevitably be your tomb. Dripping into your hair. You don't know the last time you'd been clean.
Patience. It advised. Tell me…do you believe you deserved this fate?
"No." You don't even hesitate slightly. Though you do go over it and reply once more. "I'm not saying I'm innocent…but weaponizing the laws to force people to do a job with a near total fatality rate is cruel."
Then what do you deserve?
"Your name." You half joke.
I have many. Some true some false. Hundreds of thousands of lives. Worshiped by so many. God, Light, Void, Fish, Eel, Voice…but I'm partial to the Bloodshed.
You sighed. "You're the creature that's been following me…aren't you?"
I am.
"And you're going to kill me. Right?"
Someday. It admitted freely. All things must end. You and I will one day be consumed by the true Void…but I don't have to rush the process.
"But I'm sure you want to." You studied your map. You'd come unhooked at the end of a canyon. You had nowhere to run. At least not enough to truly escape it.
I haven't decided yet… The Bloodshed rumbled. Moisture raining down on your weary form. You offer me far more than mere food. And I can reward you for your cooperation.
"So you need to use me as well…" You wrinkled your nose in distaste. "I see."
You most certainly don't see anything. It growled. Low, resonating through your chest like a distant explosion. I am offering you freedom through me. I can protect you. Feed you. But I can't allow those that placed us here to remain…unaltered.
Right, it says it's not using you-
Human, if you mean to tell me you have no interest in getting even, I'd be forced to call you a liar. It sounded dreadfully bored.
"I want freedom. That's it."
And do you not think they'll send you directly back to me when they find you? The Bloodshed pointedly asked. If they don't decide to kill you outright, that is. Become my mouthpiece. Call them home. Let them see the pain you and I are going through every day.
"You can't get me off this moon." Your words have no venom. A dry observation.
Did I promise you that? Freedom means you are not subject to control. I can only do so much.
You quietly glanced at the glowing button of the camera. "Before I agree…will you let me see you?"
In what sense? My components? We are all bound to the veins of the Void.
"Just stay in front of the ship. Fifty yards out." You scowled.
The frantic blinking of the proximity alarm fades into silence.
I am ready.
You pressed the button until it gave that satisfying click. After a moment, the photo appears.
Row upon row of teeth, each longer than your submarine. Skulls fused and mutated nearly beyond recognition. But they were indeed human. Once upon a time. Spines disfigured and twining through one another. Hundreds of arms and legs working together to propel it through the sanguine tides. Haunted eyes watching your every move.
"…Fine."
The Bloodshed was…surprisingly reasonable when it wanted to be. It quietly watched as you carried out your horrible task. Pulling every single COI officer into the blood. Bringing them the justice they'd used to inflict so much suffering with so little to show for it. Making them equal in the eyes of eternity.
You're completely covered in blood by the end. But you stood on the drop platform, looking at the pinpricks of satellites and space stations as the orbited in the darkness.
It's…unclear how long you remain by yourself. Even less so to guess if you had ever been so before.
Our contract has been filled. I apologize for being unable to slow your mutations.
You glanced at the thick coral growths that had started to rupture from your skin. "Well, like you said, it can't be helped."
Tell me…what would you like?
That was a wonderful question. One you have several answers to, very few of which could be fulfilled.
What you're struck by, however, is a near irresistible curiosity. "…Could you come to the surface?"
Why?
"I've only ever seen you through the camera. I'd like to actually meet you." It sounded so childish when you said it so simply.
We both know you won't like what you see.
"Maybe." You shrugged. "But I can't be certain until you do it. Please?"
After several long moments, it sighed. If you insist.
You aren't sure where it had been on the moon, but the Bloodshed takes several hours to arrive. Heralded by veins you'd later realize sprouted from its gills. They slithered along the metal platform, curling and curious in their movements.
When they find your ankles, they hesitated.
"…You're waiting for permission? Really?"
It seems important to you.
"As long as you show yourself, you can touch me." You offered.
The reply comes very quickly. Concerningly so. How much?
Testing the boundaries.
"You can't possibly be a issue in that regard." You use an edge of humor to soften the conversation into something easier to land on.
Oh, but I could…The surface of the ocean rippled. Is that really so hard to see? You're interesting…and this is something I- that is to say, what I am now- have never experienced.
"Are you serious?" You were being propositioned by a legion of human souls that got tangled in threads of a god. "It's not nice to tease people." You remind it.
Then don't let it be. The Bloodshed's voice gentled, and you find yourself becoming entwined with thousands of veins. Pulsing with the thrum of the moon. Remind me of what I've forgotten. I must show you how much I appreciate your dedication…
"I didn't expect you to be interested in this." You mumbled, letting the gore streaked vessels thread between your fingers.
I don't think either of us are, exactly. It agreed. But neither of us have known consensual touch for a great many years.
It was desperate…"Why don't we just…hold one another."
You would rather I not reward your service?
That makes you pull a face. "Never treat sex like payment. At least not with me. Besides, you're right. I'm not into it. At least not when I'm the one on the receiving end."
A pair of clouded eyes emerged from the surf. Foamy blood oozing along slick scales. You would do it for me?
You don't have an easy answer for that one. "I haven't decided yet."
I understand. It rattled. The sound was much less muffled, though it didn't carry nearly as much. You know…the pain hasn't stopped, but when it's like this, I can tolerate it more. The voices aren't as loud. I think the Void is fond of you.
"That sounds like something I should be concerned with." You chuckled softly.
You should be.
It went quiet before fully revealing itself. In truth, it was hideous…but there's something almost…alluring about it. Impossibly large, with new twisted flesh everywhere you looked. Eyes that had seen further than any human would be capable of. No wonder it went mad.
"Can I-…"
It obliged before you could even ask. Good, because you weren't sure how you were gonna phrase it. The Bloodshed drifted as close as it could to the platform, sinking slightly so that you could reach out and touch its hide.
It felt like nothing you've ever encountered in the past. Slick, with scales so delicate they would be impossible to remove without damaging the skin below. If the ocean was cold, it would likely need blubber, but you know from experience that it was just shy of 97° Fahrenheit all the way down. But also, this entire moon defied logic so…
In a strange way…it was right. From a cosmic lens, the two of you were in many ways the same.
"And…you're sure you want me to do this? You aren't worried about it hurting?"
You're staring at a huge piece of bone that had embedded itself in the Bloodshed's hide. Normally it had no issue removing them itself. As it said, things would have to be quite intense for it to require your intervention.
I'm always in pain. If I know it's coming, I can block it out.
Nodding to yourself, you look at the blade you'd recovered from one of the COI officers. "Just try not to kill me."
If I do, you'll become part of us. So it isn't all that bad. It rolled onto its back, allowing you to climb onto its stomach carefully. Many hands came up to help keep you steady.
"I'd rather not expedite the inevitable." You chuckled. You make sure the suturing equipment is ready. You'd modified a small laser cutter to help with cauterizing."You're pretty lucky I know how to do this. And that we have enough to manage something like yourself."
The Void isn't keen on releasing me. I'd be fine either way.
If it insists. You take a breath to steady yourself. "Don't jump."
When the edge finds its flesh, there's a moment where the Bloodshed tensed. Dozens of fingers squeezing your thighs tightly. You were absolutely going to have bruises. As long as the eel didn't break skin or bone, you'd be alright.
Speaking of bone, you guide your knife through its hide. Thin blood wept from it before you used the laser to temporarily seal the sources. Thankfully its vascular structure was large enough that you could visually avoid most of them. It was just slow going.
Which seemed to set the beast on edge. Despite its best efforts, it squirmed between your legs. Shuddering, gill plates fluttering with every pass of your blade.
"You doing okay?"
A low rumble of confirmation.
"I thought you said you could block it out?" You asked as you revealed inch upon inch of bone.
Yes…but that doesn't mean I can't feel you. It had this…shiver to its voice. In many ways, you found it beautiful. The idea…the idea that you're inside me is quite powerful.
Oh.
It was getting off to this. Okay.
You can work with that.
"If you're good, we can-"
This is so much better than all the memories I have of sex. It keened as you eased your fingers through the fat and muscle fibers. You could do so much damage to me…but you're not. You're going to put me back together. The trust required for this is…thrilling. Much better than having faith my partner won't get me pregnant. Or that I won't impregnate them. Or illnesses.
You smiled. "Hey, that just sweetens the deal for me. I'd much rather see how your body works than fuck you."
The foreign object was still going. You'd unearthed a foot and a half thus far. It was coming loose, so you imagine you're nearly there. Every bit of progress is rewarded with various reactions. A trembling sigh, the grip flexing into the meat of your thighs, and most delightfully, a gasp that trailed off into a moan.
It likes when you tweak its veins. You'll have to keep that in mind.
You find yourself disappointed when the bone finally comes free. Well…at first. Then you realize you have the excuse of being thorough and cleaning out the wound. Sure, none of this was a sterile process, but you go through the mess of medical supplies left when the COI met their fate.
The largest syringe for humans was surely nothing compared to what the Bloodshed 'needed', but hey…it certainly didn't mind.
You get a bucket, filling it with the blood surrounding the two of you.
The needle wasn't required for flushing, so you tossed it into the sharps bin. You made sure you were 'cleaning' every inch of exposed flesh. And sure, you would work your fingers into the wound, rubbing firmly at the blood-slick meat. Who could blame you, what with the sounds it made.
"You're gorgeous…all of you coming together and making this…it's just incredible." You praised it softly. Leaning into the gore streaked site, you sink deeper until your cheek pressed flush to its scales.
It whimpered, grip so tight you can feel your bones grinding together. Sure, it hurts…but man the heady thrill was too much to care.
You worship me…you worship like the Void made you just for this. My perfect acolyte. Do you think…we were always meant to find one another? It asked as your palms parted the last bit you had the excuse of 'flushing'.
"I don't believe in fate, if that's what you're asking."
I- ah… It trailed off into a whine. Its pulse increasing between your legs. Part of me does…but the others don't.
You set the syringe aside and find the largest suture needle in the kit. "I don't know how you manage so many minds."
You'll learn one day.
Right.
You sigh. As much as you preferred playing in the Bloodshed's injury, it seemed to be that much more into the tedious process of deep wound stitching. By the time you reached the surface, it was a wreck. Shaking like a station on the verge of exploding.
"Stay with me…I'm almost there." You realize that it enjoyed when you spoke softly. As if your words themselves became a form of contact. Like it said, the two of you hadn't encountered consensual touch in a very long time.
After the final suture was cut, you can tell it's delicately balanced on the ledge.
Impulsively, you pressed your lips against the site.
For a moment, everything went black. Then, long dead stars exploded in your mind. You're stripped all the way down to the sub-atomic level. Meeting the origin of it. Then you're reconstructed, step by step. Like you were being sculpted by something so far beyond what you are.
When you're finally able to see again, you're met by the gaze of what you'd learned to call the Void.
This…this was the actual god. It leered at you. A maw hidden within its pupil opened. You feel the pull on your soul. It called upon you as it called upon all it believed it owned…it sees you. They all see you.
And you see them.
You entered the Void willingly.
…And you're back.
Pain screamed in your left leg. It took a moment for you to realize that the Bloodshed had accidentally broken your femur in its ecstasy. You guess you really were tempting fate when you didn't tell it to stop.
You'd have to be far more strict with boundaries next time.