Chapter Text
Pomni stared at the sleeping amalgamation within the large pillow fort.
The darkness seemed calming for Jax. He remained dormant, shrouded beneath layers of sheets and cushions. Pomni was glad no one had insisted he join the others inside the tank. This makeshift circus tent was enough to keep the once-purple bunny turned monster at bay. And this way, it still felt like he was with them, even if his consciousness was no longer there.
“-I just don’t understand why we can’t choose our character avatars.”
Pomni turned to find Zooble conversing with Caine as they made their way into the main room from an adjoining hallway. Zooble looked irritated, despite visibly holding themselves back, while Caine’s face was plastered with confusion. Pomni remained near the impromptu circus tent, partially concealed by the shadow of the towering structure. This seemed like a sensitive topic, and she didn’t want to intrude.
“We know who we are, or were… as people. Why can’t we take on our own appearances? I know it wouldn’t actually be us in the flesh, but it’s bullshit that we’re stuck in these silly bodies all the time.”
Caine paused at Zooble’s words, visibly taken aback by their decision to curse for emphasis.
“Zooble! I understand that you feel your body lacks suitable parts. This has been an outstanding issue since your arrival. We have discussed it many times before. I have tried to make more—er—human-esque parts to accommodate your requests, but— ”
“That isn’t what I asked!” Zooble threw their arms into the air. “I spent my entire adolescence and adulthood in the real world feeling comfortable in my body. I customized it with tattoos and piercings in ways you wouldn’t understand. That’s what made me feel like myself.” Their tone shifted from urgent to defeated.
“I want that back.” Zooble trailed off, staring at the floor. Caine seemed to relax, as though he had finally understood what they were trying to say.
“So... Zooble. You would be happier if you could return to your original flesh avatar... from the real world?”
“Yes!”
“...Despite you not being in your actual body?”
“...Yes, Caine. I know we can’t leave the circus, but I want to feel like myself again. Even if it isn’t my own flesh and blood, I want to... pretend.” Zooble sighed. “Fuck, this sounds dumb, but it’s hard to describe to someone who’s never had a body.”
They shook their head and pressed a hand-like appendage against their forehead.
Caine contemplated this for a moment. “Alright, Zooble. I’ll see what I can do.”
And just like that, he vanished.
Zooble turned and made their way to a nearby lounge chair, collapsing into it and staring blankly into space.
Pomni remembered a previous conversation they’d had with Caine, one in which Zooble had expressed a desire to have sex. Ragatha had later mentioned that Zooble and Gangle seemed to have found some sort of… workaround despite their unusual anatomy. Ragatha had overheard them going at it from Zooble's door when she walked by, and proceeded to go to Pomni to express her embarrassment from overhearing such a private encounter. Apparently, sexual compatibility had never been the real issue for Zooble.
Pomni looked down at her own hands.
She looked down at the gloves fused to her skin. The strange proportions of her oversized head to her tiny frame. It’s almost as if she resembled that of a preteen.
Pomni hated her body too. She had never felt right in her own skin. Every time she looked in a mirror, a stranger stared back at her.
Her gaze drifted back to Jax's abstracted form. The countless multicolored eyes remained closed, his massive body resting motionless beneath the blankets. For something so horrifying, he almost looked peaceful.
She was glad he'd found some measure of peace, even if she had no idea what kind of illusion he was living through inside his own mind.
After a moment, Pomni pushed herself to her feet and slowly approached Zooble. She sat on a couch perpendicular to the one they occupied.
“...Hey, Zooble. How are you doing?”
Zooble glanced over. “Oh, hey. Things are... the same as always. Better than before, you know. But we're still here.”
“Yeah...” Pomni nodded. “I know what you mean.”
She left the conversation open, hoping Zooble might continue talking about what they'd confessed to Caine. Instead, silence settled between them.
Then a familiar voice cut through the gloom.
“Oh! Hey, guys!”
Pomni turned to see Ragatha approaching. Her usual cheerful energy stood in stark contrast to the heavy atmosphere surrounding Zooble, though it was far from unwelcome. Gangle followed close behind, carrying her sketchpad beneath one ribbon arm.
Ragatha plopped down beside Pomni and smiled at the group. “How are you all doing?”
Pomni glanced over at Zooble, whose expression softened at the sight of Gangle approaching.
“We're... fine. Same old problems. Nothing horrible, though.” Zooble sighed and rested an arm on Gangle's shoulder. “Caine's been a better listener lately. Every day gets a little more tolerable in the circus. Who knows what the future might bring?”
Gangle looked down at the blank page of her sketchpad. “Yeah... He really does seem to be trying, at least. Maybe someday, during our endless eternity in the matrix, he'll finally understand what it feels like to be us.”
Zooble shrugged. They didn't seem eager to continue the conversation. Instead, they and Gangle traded quiet murmurs. Gangle flipped to an earlier page in her sketchpad and turned it toward Zooble.
Pomni looked back at Ragatha. “What have you been up to today?”
“I just got back from the cellar. Kinger's been spending a lot of time down there lately, I wanted to keep him company for a while.” A bittersweet expression crossed Ragatha's face. “He seems so content in the aquarium.”
Pomni offered her a small smile. They both knew how much Kinger loved his wife, regardless of her current state. He spends whatever time possible, just watching and appreciating her. No abstraction could erase the memories he carried of her.
Pomni's gaze drifted back toward the large pillow fort in the center of the room.
A sudden pop drew her attention back to the couches.
Caine had returned. Bright-eyed, smiling, and clearly excited.
“Uh oh. What did you do this time, Caine?” Zooble asked, narrowing their eyes.
“I've solved it, my crispy carpet muncher!”
Zooble's eyes widened.
A snort escaped Ragatha. Pomni quickly covered her mouth to suppress a laugh. Thankfully, Caine seemed completely unaware of what he'd just said.
“Within the Void, I am able to access your brain scans! It's how I learned about your human identities from the real world. While reviewing your code, I discovered the script responsible for encrypting your original perception of bodily autonomy!”
Silence settled across the room.
Pomni sat up straighter. “...Which means?”
Caine spun toward her dramatically. “It means that I can correct your code! I can replace the circus-generated interpretations of your avatars with accurate recreations of your original human bodies!”
He threw both arms into the air as though basking in the glory of his own genius.
Zooble shot to their feet. “Oh my god... We can look human again?”
“Yes!” Caine exclaimed. “All I need to do is remove the modifications applied by the circus AI and restore your original code structure! However...”
He hesitated. “I am somewhat concerned about compatibility issues.”
Ragatha shifted uneasily. “How so?”
“Well, if you have human bodies, you will also have pesky human needs! Things such as food, hygiene, sleep, and all sorts of inconvenient biological maintenance.”
He gestured broadly around the circus.
“Furthermore, I am uncertain whether you would retain your current ability to recover from injuries. Which would make this environment...” His eyes wandered toward the floating staircases, impossible architecture, and complete lack of safety rails. “...rather dangerous.”
Gangle sat up a little straighter and scooted closer to Zooble. “S-So how do we fix that?”
“How else?” Caine declared. “We create an all-human adventure!” He stretched his arms wide. “Return to the "Real" World: Circus Edition! I shall construct a brand-new environment specifically designed for your fragile human compositions! Using information gathered from your digital footprints, uploaded photographs, and a healthy dose of creative interpretation, I will recreate a version of your world suitable for exploration!” He pointed dramatically toward the group. “And with me as your gracious host, every member of my circus shall once again experience human flesh!”
For a moment, nobody spoke.
Then Gangle squealed. “I can finally visit your bar, Zooble! Isn't this exciting?”
Zooble froze. Disbelief flickered across their face, followed by hope. Then their face softened, their eyes glistened. For a moment, they looked dangerously close to crying.
Pomni couldn't remember the last time she'd seen Zooble look so vulnerable. This meant far more to them than they'd ever let on.
“Just one moment... OH, KINGER!” Caine's voice echoed through the room.
A moment later, the large chess piece appeared in front of the group. The bucket that was previously balanced on top of his head fell down, covering his face. He looked slightly disheveled, as though he'd been interrupted in the middle of something, but quickly composed himself.
“Oh! Hello, everyone.”
“And now, let's get this show on the road!” Caine declared. “Everyone, make your way through the portal! It will remain open should anyone find the confines of flesh a bit too... meaty.”
He wiggled his fingers, studying them as though trying to understand the concept of skin.
“You are welcome back to the circus at any time! I shall meet you on the other side once the code is complete!”
And just like that, he vanished. Back to the Void, Pomni assumed, to put the finishing touches on this strange new world.
Ragatha immediately turned to Kinger and began explaining everything he had missed. His eyes widened with wonder as she described the aspects of the code they had never considered before.
Pomni realized she'd been zoning out. There had simply been too much information thrown at them all at once.
She forced herself to focus on the conversation again.
“This could open a lot of doors for us,” Kinger said thoughtfully, slightly lifting his bucket to look to Ragatha and Pomni. “Not all of them good. We need to make sure nothing else changes while we're in there. We don't know how altering our avatars might affect the rest of the code.”
“...Do you think it could mess us up?” Pomni asked, hesitancy laced throughout her voice. “Change our… memories or something?”
Kinger raised his hands, examining both sides of his gloves.
“Well... I'm not sure. I suppose we'll never know unless we try.”
Ragatha let out a breath before forcing a smile. “Well, we might as well try then.”
By the time they turned toward the portal, Zooble and Gangle had already sprinted through it hand in hand. Pomni couldn't help but smile.
Onto the next adventure.
—
The group opened their eyes.
A table sat before them, freshly filled coffee cups circled its surface. Sunlight streamed through a wall of windows, flooding the room with warm morning light.
“...Oh.” Kinger's voice broke the silence.
Everyone looked up. They were human.
Pomni immediately turned in her chair toward a nearby glass door. A reflection stared back at her.
Her reflection. Her hand rose to her cheek, pressing it almost on instinct. She could feel it.
Short dark-brown hair framed her face in a shaggy cut. Freckles dusted her cheeks. Dark, upturned eyes stared back at her from the glass. A plain halter top and baggy jeans covered her short (but not miniature) stature.
It was her. The real her, that she saw in the pictures and videos from her social media. She never thought that she would see herself like this again.
“No fucking way.” Zooble shot to their feet and nearly tripped over a chair as they sprinted toward a nearby mirror. What Pomni assumed were NPCs jumped out of the way to allow Zooble to rush past them. “No fucking way! It's me! That's my face!”
Pomni turned to look.
Zooble was tall and androgynous, with tight black curls and a medium-dark complexion. American traditional tattoos covered nearly every inch of visible skin from neck to wrist. Likely more laid beneath worn T-shirt and jeans. Piercings lined their ears, nose, and lower lip. Tears immediately filled their eyes.
“It's me.”
Another person at their table stood abruptly. Smaller framed, dark-skinned, with red highlights woven through twisted locks. A lacy top and long, plaid skirt lined her frame. Gangle, Pomni assumed.
A tear rolled down Gangle’s cheek as she smiled at Zooble. “You look amazing.”
She rushed over and wrapped Zooble in a hug before turning toward the mirror herself. A laugh escaped her through her tears. Zooble immediately started poking at her face. “Holy shit, that's actually you.”
Pomni smiled and turned back toward the table.
A man who looked to be in his late thirties or early forties sat frozen in place. He had mousy blond hair and glasses. A beige linen button up and creaseless dark pants complemented his academic appearance.
Beside him sat a woman with strawberry-blond hair and a tall, slender frame. Sun dress covered in pastels flowed around her.
Kinger and Ragatha.
“Oh my god, we're really human!” Ragatha exclaimed. She ran her hands along her forearms before reaching over and squeezing Pomni's arm.
Kinger continued staring at his hands. “It appears so,” he murmured. “Despite this being an avatar, it is remarkably realistic.”
Pomni finally looked around the room. They appeared to be inside a coffee shop. The smell of freshly roasted espresso beans filled the air, as well as a distant murmur of the fellow NPC patrons.
Outside the windows stretched a historic street lined with red brick buildings and old-fashioned lamp posts.
Something about it felt familiar. St. Louis, maybe? The memory felt hazy, as though she were trying to recall a dream she'd almost forgotten. Or maybe it was because the world was an interpretation of something that Caine hasn’t ever seen with his own eyes.
Kinger suddenly turned toward Ragatha and Pomni. His expression had gone serious.
“I need to speak with Caine about accessing the Void. If we can alter our appearances, maybe we can do more than that. Maybe we could—”
“Erm, oh, one latte, please..?”
Kinger froze, the sentence dying in his throat. Slowly, he turned towards the counter, towards the woman who just ordered.
She looked confused, lost, as if she had only just become aware of where she was.
Kinger's breath caught. Pomni watched as his face crumpled, before a broken sob escaped him.
Before anyone could react, he rushed across the room.
“Wait!” Ragatha started to say.
Kinger reached the woman and gently grabbed her shoulders. He turned her toward him. She blinked in confusion at Kinger, shaken by the person grabbing her so desperately.
Then recognition slowly spread across her face.
Kinger's trembling hand rose to brush a curl away from her eyes. His voice cracked.
“...Queenie?”