Archive of Our Own

Shanks groaned at the constant poking and prodding that was currently happening, the sheer amount of fretting he hasn't had directed towards him since he was a brat. "Pai, pai. Stop. Da, do something! My injury is healing, Hongo is an amazing doctor and my timeline’s Crocus already looked!"

Gaban snorted and shot his baby a look. "Kid, we have this conversation every time you or Blue get hurt. You lost an arm this time; there's no stopping Roger."

Roger pouted at his husband, both of them. "But his arm, Paixao! His sword arm!"

"Pai, it was worth it, please let’s not waste this precious time. The rainbow mist only lasts till sunrise, so let’s party!" Shanks cheered turning towards his crew who were not used to seeing Gol D. Roger alive or Rayleigh so young. Still, only half of the Roger pirates were here, his younger self and Blue's were with Spencer and a few others training. The rest of his crew was waiting for him to give the signal to join them all.

"Not yet, we're waiting for the others." Roger hummed, cocking his head to the side and listening. "Should be here by now."

"Who else are you expecting? Because this island is hard to find and this meeting was a lucky opportunity." Shanks asked, snapping his head around when there was a sudden crack, glancing up into purple illuminated eyes in the dark of the forest, his hand dropping to Gryphon’s hilt.

"Coyote? Didn't think it would be you." Roger asked surprised but shrugged with a grin. It had been two years since his sons snuck Coyote off of Newgate’s ship and healed them, helping him adjust to a missing hand and the scarring across his face.  It would be great to see how that teen had grown, was he more like his mother or Newgate perhaps?

A huff of a laugh escaped the darkness, followed by a deeper voice. "No, I'm not Baba."

Shanks jerked forward as Luffy, his son, older and taller, but he’d know his kid anywhere no matter the age, stepped into the ring of firelight, a wide D grin stretched across his face, straw hat sat firmly on his head. "Anchor!?"

"Hi Mãe." Luffy replied, still grinning and with a small wave.

"MÃE!?" Many voices called out but Shanks ignored them as he finally surged forward and pulled his son into a hug. He had not seen, spoken or heard about his little prince in over a year now and to see him here older and… well he was a right mess.

He was taller, taller than Benn, close to Coyote in height and he couldn't help but pout about that. His son was supposed to stay that small cherub that could fit in his arms forever. Though, his eyes trailed down, staying firmly locked on the massive scar that marred his son’s torso and the scars hidden around it, old things, but still.

"It was a long time ago for me." Anchor hummed softly as Shanks pressed his hand in the middle of it, desperate to feel his son’s heart because he knew that it was a miracle Anchor was alive. The scarring showed that the wound had been a death blow, his kid shouldn’t be here now but he had been saved, be it a brilliant surgeon, doctor and the aid of his devil fruit or all of the above…

"Did you reach the end?" He asked, ignoring the sharp inhales from his father’s crew.

Anchor laughed and took off the hat, his crown, and placed it on his Mãe’s head where it had once belonged so long ago. Beckman inhaled sharply as a tear finally slipped down Shanks cheek, a wide smile tugging at his lips. "I did; you let me keep it in the end."

A wet laugh startled out of Shanks. “Of course I did, it’s the crown of the King after all. Pai gave it to me to carry on his will, son to son.”

"You passed it on, never thought I'd see the day you gave up your Pai's hat, Red. We were wondering but didn't want to bring it up." Gaban chuckled as he moved closer, pausing as those dark eyes locked onto him. "Your face is familiar in that I’ve seen your features on others even if you have Red's hair. Ocean Blessing or biological?"

"The Ocean Blessed Mãe and I when I was seven. How long was that for you?" Luffy asked, turning his gaze back to Shanks.

"A year ago." Shanks swallowed, hand coming up to grab his bad arm. "It has been a year since I've seen you."

"It would have been several more if Tio didn't visit." Luffy huffed with a grin. "Imagine Buggy’s surprise when a brat wearing your hat and colouring falls from the sky onto his ship. Don’t think I've ever seen Gramps get taken down like that, Tio Blue did not hold back when he returned me home. My brothers were angry at him too; he did not have a good month."

Beck gritted his teeth. "He tied you to balloons again!? Wait... brothers?"

"After you all left, he took me from Maki. I ended up living with mountain bandits." Luffy explained carefully as he saw his Da's face ice over. "It worked out, I met... well, I met my brothers."

"Blue..." Shanks breathed out in pain. "How... we? Did you..."

A laugh, a soft but deep shishishi left Luffy’s lips. "Tio Blue and you are close again, though he still goes a while without speaking to you. He taught my brother how to throw knives and my other brother the Axes."

"Red, introduce your son." Roger butted in, moving closer with a squint. "My husband is right, I've seen your face before."

"Ah, sorry captain. This is my son Monkey D. Luffy." Shanks stated before yelping as his son flicked his ear much like Buggy did when they were younger.

"Benn D. Luffy. I'm yours and Beckman’s son, so name me right." Luffy drawled unimpressed.

Roger let out a booming laugh as his son pouted. "Either Garp had a son later in life or your Dragon’s brood."

"Dragon’s son though he never claimed me. Just dumped me on Garp when I was younger, didn't even know who my parents were till Tio told me." Luffy replied with a grin. "Can choose any name I suppose... Coyote, Newgate, Gol-Silvers, Monkey, Portgas, Trafalgar... but Benn is the one I choose and am known by."

Benn stepped forward with a soft smile on his face. "I'm proud of you, Anchor, so tell me, where is your crew? Shanks wants to party as does Roger, but we were waiting for you apparently."

"My crew is already here, they’re just letting me have this moment with you all first." Luffy grinned wide.

Rayleigh’s brows rose as he glanced around, only seeing his crew and his son plus Beckman. "Oh? I take it they masked their voices?"

"Even I can’t sense them." Gaban chortled, glasses in hand as his gold eyes flickered into the forest.

"Ah! Oops, I wanted to sneak up on Mãe." Luffy snickered and suddenly many jumped as Voices appeared where there weren’t any before. "Come on out! It's time to party!"

A group of nine walked out, several familiar faces with Jinbe and Nico Robin, Cutty… was that Yasopp’s kid!? But Shanks eyed the two who appeared at his son’s side, one with three swords and another, a Vinsmoke.

“Mãe, Da, this is my First Mate, Pirate Hunter Roronoa Zoro and Black-Leg Sanji, my third.” Luffy introduced with a grin, stressing the Black-Leg.

A soft female laugh floated over. “The wings of the Pirate King!” 

The strawhats laughed loud and Shanks watched as the two at his son's side never took their eyes off of them, and could sense their haki locked on their entire crew. Shanks was so proud of his kid.

“Black-leg? I take it you're Zeff's kid?” Rayleigh asked with a soft smirk. “He always swore he wasn’t gonna be like us and adopt but you must have been special.” 

“Being stranded for thirty days on a rock does that to people.” Sanji replied dryly. “Been stuck with me since, shitty old man taught me everything.” 

Luffy’s stomach rumbled and Shanks laughed as he saw that even older and taller he still would pout and puppy eye for food. “Saaaaanji!!! Hungry!” 

“I heard ya, shitty captain, I see Taro is amongst the Roger Pirates here so I'll get him to help.” Sanji muttered as he strode towards a bewildered Taro. 

Luffy perked up. “Hey! Hey! HEY Tio Taro! Can ya make me some of them meat pie thingies, the ones Vovô likes?” 

Taro looked bewildered as did everyone including Shanks because as far as he knew, he wasn’t in contact with any of the people he was raised by. He hadn’t spoken with Blue since they came to East Blue nor spoken with Rayleigh since their Pai’s death, the last one he spoke with was his Da when said man dragged him down from the Red Line back to where he belonged before the Knights could fully take him and Crocus to check his arm.

To see now that his son, his little prince, was acquainted with his old family enough to call them Tio well it seemed that Shanks had put aside his old hurts and pains so his son could have a family, to have more than just a handful of drunks and a barmaid. 

Roger let out a loud laugh, pulling Anchor to his side. “Ah my grandson has good taste!” 

A snort left most of Luffy’s crew. “It’s not that he has good taste, it’s that he has a bottomless pit!” 

“Now you know why!” The reindeer, how did his son get a reindeer as a crew member? “Luffy’s fruit burns through too much energy!” 

“We know, Chopper, we’re just teasing our Captain.” Robin chuckled softly as she tickled his side, even older he still laughed and squirmed away from her. 

Luffy grinned wide at that, hand stretching out to grab Shanks carefully and pulled him towards the fire that everyone was gathering around. Everyone couldn’t help but marvel at the young man’s features, the mimic of Shanks in the smile and hair, with Coyote in the eyes and facial features. Roger couldn’t help but ache at the fact that his grandson, great nephew held no features of a Monkey besides the strength. 

Just what had his brother done, what had his nephew done for Luffy to reject his bloodline so clearly when the ocean blessed him and bound him to Shanks? 

“Your haki is impressive, if we had the time I would ask for a fight!” Roger laughed long and loud, grabbing at a drink and passing it to his Grandson, brows rising as he immediately passed it to his first mate who seemed to appear out of thin air to take it. “What, won't you drink with your vovô?”

“I don’t drink.” Luffy laughed. “Can’t, fruit burns through it too fast to bother with it and well… Mãe pulled a trick on me when I was younger and I’ve never been able to stomach the taste since.” 

Shanks choked on his drink as every pair of eyes snapped to him, Beckman chuckled as he smacked him on the back. “Wait, you still cannot drink?” 

“Shanks, you gave me a drink of Tio Yui’s rotgut when I was six and I was violently ill for days. Poor Ace and Bo had to take care of me after we drank sake to solidify our brotherhood!” Luffy deadpanned and Shanks cringed when he saw the displeased look in Rayleigh’s eyes while his Da and Pai chortled loudly. 

“Gol-Silvers Red!” Rayleigh admonished before narrowing his gaze at his idiot husbands. “This is your fault, I just know it is!” 

Shanks pouted at his pops. “It was your punishment!” 

“I didn’t give you boys Yui’s rotgut of all things!” Rayleigh snapped back exasperated. 

Luffy chuckled as he watched his Mãe be scolded, his eyes flickering from face to face of his vovô's crew. It ached staring at his vovô and seeing Ace's face in the features, it ached even more seeing how happy and unburdened his Jiji and Jiisan are. They touched affectionately and teased one another, the last time he saw Gaban and Rayleigh in the same room they barely even spoke to one another. Hell, Gaban had barely even deigned to look in Rayleigh’s general direction, let alone speak. 

His jiji hurt so many in his grief and well, Luffy was a little gremlin. Maybe he can cause enough chaos that would teach his jiji he wasn’t alone, that he still had jiichan and his mae, his tio instead of drowning in a bottle.

“It’s fine, Rayleigh, Sanji makes me fruit drinks anyways and the lecture Maki gave Shanks was much more thorough in making sure he never did it again. Plus Jiichan already gave him a lecture when I got to Elbaph and some training on top of it.” Luffy chuckled, stilling everyone but his crew. 

Roger’s smile was still firmly placed but his eyes glinted as he turned that gaze onto Rayleigh, Gaban’s golden eyes darkened and turned away, lips pressed in a thin line. 

“Rayleigh?” Rayleigh mouthed softly confused. “Have we not met then?” 

“You've met.” Many of the strawhats replied.

“Captain doesn't remember names well,” Jinbe explained further. “You did train him after… well after… for two years.” 

“Shishishi, maybe I should teach him some of the training I have you guys do.” Luffy snickered softly. “It’d just make Mãe and Tio stronger.” 

“Captain, please keep in mind that while Shanks and Buggy are strong. They are claimed D’s not blood born.” Robin giggled softly. 

“Sabo survived just fine!” Luffy defended. 

“I just want to know why you don’t call me grandpa the way you do Gaban and Roger.” Rayleigh cut in. He was much too used to the sibling like bickering among his own crew to not see what was brewing there. 

“Because he’s a petty and overly protective little shit and the you in our time upset Buggy shortly before we got here.” Zoro deadpanned before looking at Yui. “Do you make that green apple brew yet? And if you do, got any on hand? Been ages since we stopped for your brew.”

“Because Luffy insists we pay for it and his prices are outrageous!” Nami grumbles. “Yui is literally the only person Luffy won’t accept free alcohol from.”

“Just because we’re pirates doesn't mean we don't pay our family for their crafts! We pay Zeff when he feeds us too!” Luffy defended.

“That old bastard was going to shove his leg up all our asses the last time I tried to actually pay him.” Sanji said with a roll of his eyes. “We just bring in a doubled grocery run to make up for your appetite and let him have his way.” 

“Paying with food is still paying!” Luffy chirped. “And we pay Tio Yui his so called outrageous cost is because we buy enough booze to keep Zoro tied over and his drinking is on par with a D's diet and that is why he's in debt for life.” 

Yui just blinked and nodded, pointing to the keg off to the side. “Right there, don’t know how good it'll be, haven't got the batch down right yet, still new.”

“Doesn't matter.” Zoro said with a grin. “Nami!” 

“Yeah, yeah, I know.” Nami groaned and threw Zoro's coin bag over and Yui stared at it blinkingly. 

“I'm sorry this is how much you pay me for that!?” Yui asked flabbergasted. “This is…”

“Is it not enough?” Luffy asked with a cocked head. 

Yui blinked and then looked skyward. “Enough? This is more than enough, this is practically my cut of any treasure raid we have! Hell, I have some more experimental apple brew back on the ship my brothers refuse to touch, if you want they're yours. Free.” 

“Hell yeah!” Zoro cheered.

“Thank the seas, we were almost out and it wouldn’t be the first time Zoro tried to drink Chopper’s medicinal alcohol.” Sanji muttered as he handed over a massive plate of food to Luffy and then to Roger, both of them staring at the pile with hungry eyes and drooling mouths. 

Rayleigh tensed as he saw the look in his son's eyes, the hardness that hadn't been there ever before, even now with a sunny smile the look at him was still there… he couldn’t overlook his grandson's crew glancing at him every now and then either. Couldn’t miss that look from his grandson as well, that all knowing disappointed look.

“Just how bad did I fuck up?” Rayleigh said eventually, looking in turn between his son and grandson. 

“… I haven’t spoken to you in the last 13 years anytime I could avoid it.” Shanks said after a moment. “Only Anchor can answer how long truly.”

Luffy hummed, mouth stuffed full as he eyed them both, smacking away his vovô’s hand. “If it’s been a year… soon maybe? I know you told him about me, but that’s it… Tio Blue didn’t start speaking to Rayleigh till I was nearly eighteen and that was only because he came to find me to give me a lecture.” 

“Blue gave you a lecture?” Shanks asked with a blink, cringing right along with his son when he nodded in affirmation. 

“Torao told us about that.” Franky chuckled. “He still threatens to tell Buggy if you don’t listen.”

Luffy groaned at that, body sagging unnaturally with his fruit. “I know and it works too! Torao is mean to me! He’s not supposed to tell Tio anything!” 

“Torao?” Beckman asked with a glint in his eye and a pool of dread bubbled in Shanks.

“My husband!” Luffy grinned wide. “He’s grumpy and the best surgeon ever!” 

“You’re married?!” Shanks yelped, making Luffy cackle. “You’re too young to get married!”

“Says the one who’s also too young to be married yet also showed up with a husband.” Gaban deadpanned. 

Shanks glared at his Da. “He’s my baby!” 

“And you are ours!” Gaban chortled back.

Luffy roared with laughter. “Mae, I'm twenty-four. You got married to Da at nineteen, I married Torao when I was nineteen too.” 

“Now for the fun question, how big is the age gap?” Gaban said with a knowing grin. 

Luffy shrugged. “Depends on which husband. But that's a Robin or Nami question.” 

“There’s more than one?!” Shanks sobbed burying his face in his hands. 

“You take after your vovô!” Roger laughed loudly, eyes glittery as he shot his husbands a wink. 

“Shishishi, and my Tio Blue.” Luffy giggled. “Torao and Birdie were supposed to be with me to check this place out, but both had to handle business for their crews instead. I’ll have to go help birdie when we leave. People are ransacking the Old Mustache Man’s territories again. Even though I claimed them when I added his Remnants to my fleet.”

“You have a fleet?!” This time it was parents and grandparents alike that yelped in astonishment. 

“I’ve had a fleet since I was nineteen… I didn't want one but I’ve got one. Shishishi, Birdie said it’s bigger than the old man’s.” Luffy hummed snatching a leg shank off of Roger’s plate and taking a massive bite. 

Shanks blinked and stared at his son, his son who was even more like his Pai than he thought. His baby was grown, he had a fleet, he was king! He had two husbands! Just how much had he missed? Was Shanks even there when his son got married to this Torao and Birdie… wait…

“Birdie… old man… YOU MARRIED MARCO!?” Shanks screeched loudly, ignoring the laughter from his son's crew. “He’s older than me! Beck! Beck!”

“I’m a decade older than you.” Beckman hummed. 

“Never thought I'd see the day that Marco the Phoenix even got married, he was relentlessly turning down Red and Blue.” JB laughed from his spot by the fires edge. 

“Hush!” Shanks hissed at his uncle. “And Blue was in love with Coyote from the moment they met and you know it!”

“Shishishi, it was just hook ups at first.” Luffy snickered softly enjoying getting to torture this version of his Mãe that only knew him as a seven year old. “They caught feelings and asked me actually.”

The sound reminiscent of a tea kettle left Shanks as he tried to shake away the words and images he just put in his head. His eyes slowly dragged up to his Pai, Da and Pops. “I am… so very sorry… I understand now… and I hate it.” 

“At least I didn’t marry the Empress of Amazon Lily.” Luffy offered up knowing that Shanks at least would know who he was talking about. “Tia Shakky nearly laughed herself sick though.” 

“I need a drink or five.” Shanks whined as he flopped next to his son, blinking at the sudden pie in his hand. “Or six if you just shared food with me.” 

“I do know how to share, Mãe. I just don’t.” Luffy deadpanned. 

Rayleigh sighed as he took a seat next to Gaban, leaning on his husband who though is listening and enjoying himself, was tense. He knew there was going to be another discussion after this, because his husband wasn’t an idiot, he could tell that whatever his future self did it was bad. Bad enough their sons refused to speak to him, bad enough that his grandson called him Rayleigh. Still he’d take the peace for now and bask in how well his son grew up. 

Luffy grinned into his hand and slapped away another of Roger’s as he went for his meat, growling low in his throat when he went for it again, only to blink in surprise at the gator hiss that he got in return. A very familiar sound that only he and his brothers, his Gramps could make… He eyed Roger closer, looking past the features he knew on a younger face… 

“Hey Robin!” Luffy turned his head till he faced his Archaeologist, ignoring the choked sounds of those not used to him. “Can ya remind me to call ‘Bo when we leave?” 

“Of course, Luffy? Want to tell me what you need to tell him in case you forget?” Robin hummed looking up from her own plate of food and away from the current discussion with Momora about her home island. 

Luffy shook his head and then grinned sharply at Roger, punching him hard on the top of his head when he went for his last pie again. “Don’t.”

“I did nothing to earn a Fist of Love, you little brat!” Roger hissed back as he rubbed his head. 

“Nothing huh? How’d you even know what it is, vovô?” Luffy asked innocently. 

Roger looked away from that, oh his brother is going to be mad. “Isn’t the first time.” 

The grin on Luffy’s face grew ever so wider and Shanks knew immediately his son was being a little shit. “I didn’t know that you and Gramps had a thing for him to give you a Fist of Love, Vovô.” 

Roger immediately recoiled in disgust, his nose wrinkling as he let out a very real gag like he was fighting the urge to throw up. “No. Ew. That’s disgusting. You couldn’t pay me all the berri in the world to willingly touch Garp naked. Eugh!”

“Because if you’re Dragon’s spawn I’m your great uncle as well as your adoptive grandpa in this bramble of a family tree.” Roger deadpanned once he’d controlled his urge to vomit from the mental image alone. “Garp and I may be close but not that kind of close. He’s my brother.”

Luffy snickered at the green colour of his vovô’s face as he turned to look at Robin once more, her placid features turning down into an angry understanding one. “That is why.” 

Ace, his big brother… How could his Gramps let him grow up thinking he was born from a devil? How could he let Ace hate himself for years because he was Roger's son when he and Luffy shared blood, that Roger was Garp’s brother!? Why did he never tell them? How could he sit there as Ace was chained and do nothing to help his blood! 

“How old are Mãe and Tio for you guys?” Luffy hummed after the silence stretched for a while. 

It was Shanks who answered, voice small. “We’re nearly… Buggy is nearly fourteen, I just turned thirteen.” 

Luffy just hummed beckoning Robin over with a tilt of his head. He loved that his crew was just as protective of him as he was of them, especially when Robin gave him a quick hug and a kiss on the head for comfort. He was grateful that he didn’t even have to explain what he wanted from her unless he felt like it. Especially since he was well aware she’d already connected all the dots herself. 

“Can you tell them? Warn them?” Luffy asked softly. “I’m gonna go bug Sanji for more food.”

Robin blinked alarmed at that. “Are you alright Luffy?” 

“I’m fine, but holding the Rainbow Mist is… a lot of energy. I’ll be fine with food and before you say it, yes I know Torao will be giving me a lecture.” Luffy called over his shoulder as he got to his feet and launched himself at Sanji, barnacleing himself to his chef’s back like he was three sizes smaller. 

“Wait, did he just say he was holding the Rainbow Mist? How?” Beckman asked, more like demanded because he knows for a fact that was impossible. 

“He’s a god with haki to match. He bends the world to his Will, not the other way around.” Robin hummed as she sat primly in the spot Luffy had vacated. “My Captain is King in more than just a title from the news. Even the seas bow to his Will should he ask it.”

Everyone grew silent at that, their eyes flicking over to Luffy who was hounding Sanji for more food. They had just returned from the last island, from Raftel only the year prior, not even a year, it was months ago… they had just returned Oden back home and to know that their Grandson was the one the poneglyphs spoke of?

“Should you be telling us this?” Gaban asked as he leant forward, voice even but there was a glint in his eyes. “What you tell us could change so much.” 

“Our captain has had a hard life.” Nami slid next to Robin, Usopp and Franky merging with them. “A very hard life and he has done so much for us, we’ve lived, we’ve achieved our dreams and still our captain isn’t happy. He’s free, his dream has sort of been achieved but…” 

Jinbe sighed as he and Brook joined them, taking a seat, his hand going to the matching scar. “He’s always hurting, there is no end to his pain both physically and mentally. If changing the timeline means a little more suffering for us just so he could be happy well… I’m sure Shanks will do all he can for his son.” 

“The best thing Shanks could do for him would be to turn around and go get Luffy, Sabo, and Ace, hell even Makino off of that island before Garp fucks them all up again.” Zoro grunted as he plopped down among the group. “He’s already been telling Ace he’s devil spawn since he could understand words. Let alone what he does to Captain. Dragon steals Sabo soon too and we all know how his bullshit was playing out with him purposely keeping Luffy’s brother away from him.”

“My brother and nephew do what?” Roger asked in a low growl while Shanks closed his eyes, taking a deep breath. He could feel Beckman move to cover them, hands laying on him as his haki sparked in his fury. 

“What aren't you telling us?” Rayleigh asked, taking note how their brothers were trying to occupy themselves and egg the two chefs on.

“Ace… Ace is dead.” Nami explained softly. “He died when Luffy was seventeen, he raised him. But… but his name was Portgas D Ace.” 

“Princess had a kid?” Gaban asked blinking. “I know she and Shakky were thinking but they musta decided, but how'd he end up in the east with Garp? Princess woulda fought tooth and nail.” 

“… Ace’s mother died in childbirth. His father was Gol D. Roger. Roger sent Garp to protect both of them after he went through with a very fucking stupid deal. Garp took his sweet ass time and by the time he made it Rouge was dying after giving birth.” Robin said all the strawhats side-eyeing her when she cursed. Robin only cussed when it involved someone she wanted dead. 

“Me? That she demon chose me?” Roger asked and shuddered. 

“Well it can't be us.” Gaban and Rayleigh replied blandly. “You're her family too dumbass.” 

A sense of dread pooled in Rayleigh's stomach, but he kept his thoughts hidden when he saw the utter devastation on his youngest's face.

“Mom… mom had a child?” Shanks asked brokenly. “Garp knew? He…”

“Told Ace he should have never been born from the day he was.” Robin said coldly before looking at Roger. “Your brother sat there while your son was sobbing in chains begging Luffy not to save him because he thought he didn’t deserve to live. The last thing he ever did was save Luffy’s life and thank Luffy for loving him. I don't know if the rest of the crew knew or whether they assumed he died with Rouge but after Shanks and Buggy were abandoned in Loguetown no one cared enough to save Ace.”

“Abandoned?” Roger asked, smile gone, his eyes snapped to his husbands with a glare. 

They had a plan, one admittedly was going to need to be changed now because apparently he could no longer trust his brother to follow out his wish to look after his family. Though, he never expected a baby, not of his blood at least and truly, did Rouge have to ask him? No, that's not important, what's important was the fact his sons were abandoned at his execution!

“That's not important.” Shanks said waving off his parents because his brain suddenly put together a whole slew of pieces. “This war, the one where Luffy lost Ace… where was I?” 

The strawhats eyed each other but it was Robin who delivered the blow. “You were late. From what I was able to gather, you fought off Kaido while Whitebeard went to get Ace. By the time you arrived, Ace was dead and Luffy was hurt.” 

“Luffy was dying.” Jinbe confessed, stilling everyone. “You all should know, especially now, but he was dying. After the extreme stress, the abuse he went through going through all six levels of impel down… Iva's treatments… the mad dog’s attack was the last thing his body couldn't handle. He shaved a decade off his life just to get to Ace but he’d already been taken for execution by then.”

“A decade.” Shanks whined. 

Fuck his promise, he will get his son, he will take him to Blue personally so his brother can look after him. Fuck, Shanks could do so much for Luffy, would sacrifice anything to keep him safe and that’s what he thought he was doing but no… how much had Shanks been part of the hurts his son suffered and could of stopped it but didnt because of a fucking promise?

“We came to party!” Luffy said as he made his way back over. “So let’s party! This will probably be the only time that Strawhats, Roger and Red-Hairs get together!” 

Shanks swallowed but nodded, sending out a pulse of haki for the rest of the boys to join him finally. They would want to see Anchor, Yassop would want to see his son and who was he to deny them that? He did want to speak more about this, he wanted to know many things that his little prince had suffered through so he could help prevent them. 

He watched and laughed while his son greeted the others with a wide smile and a warm hug, laughing all the while at their gobsmacked faces. Though no one was more amazed than Hongo when Luffy began speaking to him in Flevish, saying he had kept up his learnings and his husband was the last surviving member of the White City and had cured White Lead. 

“Red come with me.” His Pai's voice called from his left, it was then Shanks realised he had been subtly pushed to the edges so no one would know. 

He turned his eyes to his Pai but saw his Captain and nodded, stepping out of the safety of the firelight and into the jungle. They walked in silence for a while till they came to a small opening, Roger sitting immediately and gesturing to Shanks to join him.

“Tell me?” Roger asked.

“Pai… Pai the shit we went through ain’t pretty…” Shanks said with a small grimace. 

“I know…” Roger said with a sad smile. “And I hate to ask you to relive any of it but I need you too if we want to make it so the versions of you and your brother that don’t know that hurt never have to.”

“You… you left the crew for a year. Told Pops and Da you were getting some experimental treatment or something like that in Flevance or Drum, I don’t remember exactly. I remember reports of you sailing with Rouge for a time. Uncle Mo always kept tabs on you with the coo birds.” Shanks said after a pause. “You… you essentially just vanished at some points before the birds would catch sight of you again and report back. When… when you finally came back though you just dissolved the crew, hugged me and blue, and left again.”

“The news reported your capture a couple weeks later and by then we were back in the front end of Paradise. One by one our family just left. Da had stayed behind helping the giants with some stuff in Elbaf. By the end it was just us and Rayleigh.” Shanks continued, his chest aching at the memories, the way he’d lashed out when Blue said he didn’t want to return to the only home they’d ever known. Shanks had known they weren’t ready to sail the line themselves yet but it had all come out wrong and he couldn’t make Blue understand that all their allies and trusted people were still in the Line. 

“Rayleigh… Rayleigh just sailed away in the Oro after having us get off the ship in Loguetown. I heard he wound up with Shakky at one point, but… with you gone… he just stopped existing and so did everything that wasn’t a bottle of brew. I didn’t see him again until after I met Luffy.” Shanks rasped softly. “I… I don’t know if Da ever looked for us, but if he did it was after we were long gone. He did save me from the knights and my blood brother, though not before they tattooed their mark on my arm. He was right for all that anxiety and thinking he was expendable to the two of you though. You left and Rayleigh shattered. Pops never gave any of us a backwards glance.”

“I… I don’t talk about the years before I found Beck. Saw too much shit, did and had too much done to me to even think about it most days without having about ten different break downs. I may have been physically stronger than Blue, but when it came to those early days, I’m sure he thrived even if it hurt like hell. I never knew the streets like he did as a kid and learning hurt.” Shanks said with a shudder old scars flaring and aching like the days he first got them. The only thing that didn’t hurt was the arm he gave up for his son. “We… we had to watch you die, Pai. Watch them fucking make a spectacle of your suicide by marine. You… you gave up and everyone else did too.”

“Mãe.” Luffy called as he stepped out of the night, coming to sit and pull Shanks into him, his eyes locked on Roger. 

“‘m okay, Anchor.” Shanks rasped out even as he curled into his son’s embrace. “It’s all old hurt now.”

Luffy wrapped his arms around him multiple times, tugging the straw hat firmly down on his Mae's head to hide him from the world for just a moment. “Rayleigh left Mãe and Tio in Loguetown the day you died, mãe told you a few things but Ojichan nearly killed himself after he got Mae back from the Holy Land, he just didn't care anymore and let things hit him.” 

Roger inhaled sharply, utter heartbreak morphing his face but Luffy didn't care. “I don't want you to change much but I want you to make Rayleigh see. Even now with me being in my twenties Ojichan still hasn't spoken to Rayleigh. Hadn't since he brought Shanks back as far as I know and what Tia told me.”

“I want Mãe to be happy, unburdened by what happened. I want Tio to not be sold into a circus as a novelty thing of the Pirate King.” Luffy explained neutrally and Roger would have preferred the hate and the rage. “I want my big brother to know he wasn’t unwanted, that he's family because what Ace loved more than anything in this world was me and he’d hate himself less if he knew he was a Monkey D.”

“Anchor.” Shanks managed to choke out. “That might change your life.” 

“It's fine… no, it's not fine but… but all my loved ones will be happy.” Luffy said simply. “And that's all that matters to me Mãe. That's all that ever mattered.”

“Anchor, please…” Shanks managed to choke out.

Luffy shook his head. “Even if nothing really changes, I don’t want you to take me from Dawn… my brothers and I living there shaped us, prepared us for the Line. Vovô should understand that at least… I just want Mãe and Tio to be happy, for Ace to know he’s blood. I want Tia to keep her wife and for ojichan to be at peace.”

Shanks pulled his son into him, tucking his big frame into his smaller one, running his hand through his hair like he did when he was a kid, ignoring his Pai watching closely. “You have a big heart, Anchor, but some things must come to pass, you know that. Ripples expand and can cause a tidal wave, but I'll come back even if you are mad about the promise, I'll make sure that your brother knows.” 

Roger felt his heart clench tight in his chest, his eyes never leaving his son and grandson. He knew that he would never see Red and Blue to grow but he had plans for them in place, plans that his Leigh seemed to forgo in his grief. Already he could feel their Paixão pulling away, had been the moment Luffy called their Heart Rayleigh.

He didn’t miss the way Red’s eyes barely glanced Rayleigh’s way as well. Things were going to have to change, he's going to have to tell the boys and the crew so they will look out for them. He knew the life of a pirate was hard, but his son and grandson carried the same amount of scars on their body like his Paixão does and they're much younger. 

“How much longer can you hold the mist, Anchor?” Shanks asked softly, the hardness in his red eyes softening completely as he stared at his son.

“Mm, an hour, maybe two if I’m willing to be unconscious for a few days.” Luffy hummed as he tilted his head back and forth in thought. “I know my crew could handle it but we’re not in this part of the New World often either. I'll most definitely be getting a lecture from Torao, he must be worried sick right now with how my heart is.”

“You don’t have your heart!?” Shanks snapped alarmed, Roger straightening too.

“Shishishi, no, Torao has it… I have Birdie’s and he has Torao's… his devil fruit makes him a good doctor, surgeon!” Luffy laughed. “We swap whenever we meet up.”

“So your husband, this Torao, has the Ope-Ope no Mi?” Roger questioned, reaching forward to poke at Luffy’s chest. “But why exchange hearts?! Do rings no longer suffice for your generation?!” 

“Mm, we each have our own thing for each other.” Luffy chuckled softly. “The heart thing is Torao’s, but Birdie gave us each a feather to wear.”

“And what did you give them, pup?” Roger huffed softly. 

“Shishishi, you’re a Monkey D, alright. The only other person in this world that calls me Pup is Maki.” Luffy snickered before baring his inhumanly sharp teeth in Roger’s direction. “As for your question, they let me leave scars.”

Shanks cringed violently as his pai roared in laughter, traumatised by his son's statement. It was bad enough that he knew his parents preferences since he was a kid when Buggy and he stole their Da's journals and read everything. “Anchor, please… I don’t want to know or I can never look the Marco of my time in the eye ever again.”

“Bah, mamãe, with how Jiji and ojichan are and Vovô being a Monkey D I have no clue how you and tio turned out to be so prudeish.” Luffy teased.

“Being modest doesn’t make me or Blue prudes!” Shanks yelped. 

“… kinda does, Son.” Roger chuckled softly before turning his attention to Luffy with a serious stare. His King stare that Luffy met with an air of boredom that would have been offensive if Roger couldn’t feel Luffy’s power in the air holding the mist around them in stasis despite the sunrise that was soon approaching. “I know you claim us, Brat, but truly all this trouble for multiple generations already lived?”

“My Mãe does not deserve to see your head roll, nor does my Tio Blue. My ojichan doesn’t deserve to be proven right about every insecurity he had about loving you and Jiji Rayleigh.” Luffy rumbled, voice nearly a growl as he tightened his arms around Shanks. “My family, because they became mine the moment you decided to kill yourself by marine blades at your brother’s feet, does not deserve to suffer just because you’re fucking selfish, Roger.”

“I can give you your cure now but it won’t make a difference to your decision, would it? You'd never be able to sail again, you'd be land locked because your lungs wouldn’t be able to deal with the battles.” Luffy continued. “You're a covarde. The great King that could lower himself enough to kneel and die but couldn’t summon the pride to live out his days content with short sails to raise your sons. Gaban would have stayed. Rayleigh would have stayed. My family would not be broken and scarred had you possessed the fucking balls to live, I would know. I’ve shaved more time off my lifespan than I care to think of to fight for my people.”

“Do you think I’m not in pain?! I have had my insides melted by magma to try to save your son in a war I shouldn’t have been anywhere near at seventeen and that was after I brought impel down and Enies Lobby to their fucking knees.” Luffy hissed glaring at his grandfather now. “It hurts to fucking breathe most days yet I do because my family doesn’t stop needing me just because I’m in pain. Don’t even get me started on what over sensitive observation haki combined with the Voice of All Things does to me.”

“Anchor.” Shanks called softly, haki dripping from the word and wrapping around his kid like what he used to do when Anchor was upset. “Calm.”

Shanks felt Luffy’s haki push back for a moment as his son let out a deep rumbling snarl, dark steel colored eyes flashing to a pinkish red before settling back to their normal shade. The growl remained low and vibrating the air in the clearing for all that Luffy relaxed himself and his haki once more. Shanks was so focused on Luffy he didn’t even notice how Roger was reacting. 

For Roger, the newly — for him anyway— named King of the Pirates couldn’t remember the last time someone triggered his instincts like this. His body screamed at him to run from the eyes glowing purple in the shadow of the Strawhat on his grandson’s blood red hair. Eyes that saw too much and dissected him like prey. For someone who had been the top predator on every island he’d ever set foot on, Roger didn’t know what to do with the challenge pressing on him. 

“Shhh, Anchor, it's fine okay? Just breathe with me.” Shanks said as he pulled Luffy to rest against his chest, eyes snapping up to glare at his pai when he jerked forward. Shanks knew the danger, has suffered for it and he still didn't care.

“Mamãe…” Luffy managed to get out in a whining growl. “I'm so very tired…”

“That’s okay, Little Prince, let’s get you back to your crew, yes?” Shanks murmured gently. “You’ve done enough. Let us handle it now ok? One way or another we’ll make sure our versions of your family have happier lives, that you have a happier life.”

Luffy nodded and hid his face into the crook of Shanks neck like he did when he was younger. “You need to call Katakuri when you leave… it's important… he has to get to Cora-san immediately. Please Mae, that bastard bird is going to kill Torao's special person… Cora… Cora is to him what you are to me.” 

“Senny’s adopted brat?” Shanks questioned a soft grunt leaving him as he hefted his son’s massive frame up onto his hip, grateful for all the extra strength training he’d been doing so he could still carry his husband even with only one arm. “Sure kid. I’ll find him.”

Luffy felt Shanks struggle and began to pull back. He knew he was taller and broader, heavier than what his Mamãe was used to… but it had been a long time since Shanks had carried him and without a second of hesitation more switched gears and let go to shrink down to his child-like size once again. 

“I was going to fuss but this is good too.” Shanks huffed fondly as he shifted Luffy into his arm properly. “I’ve certainly missed holding my little Anchor too much to complain.”

“I just miss you.” Luffy confessed. “We barely see each other, even after the promise was fulfilled."

Shanks frowned and held his kid closer, ignoring his Pai. He had been so happy to see his Pai and Captain again but the longer he had stayed the more he saw how sick his Pai actually was, how angry he was at his pops and Captain. How that even decades later his captain’s choices have hurt others, his son suffered more than anyone. He loved his fathers, all three of them, but Luffy’s angry rant that he’d been witness to opened his eyes just to how much his and Blue’s traumas started with Roger’s selfishness not Rayleigh’s. 

Painful as it was he understood Rayleigh even if he didn’t agree with how he handled it. Shanks loved Beckman like he was the air he needed to breathe and he knew that Rayleigh loved Roger the same way. He… he couldn’t claim that for Gaban, not knowing what Luffy revealed just now. He’d known of course his Da’s journals got everything the man couldn’t say out loud so he and Blue had both read about how Gaban was always so willing to throw away his life to protect Roger and Rayleigh because he believed that they could live without him. He hated that they’d proved him right in the end. 

Still he couldn’t promise he wouldn’t lose himself to drink should Beck ever choose a glorified suicide over a life with him, even if it was limited by illness or injury. Roger had done that to Rayleigh and then Rayleigh left them all in the dust for the bottle. Gaban couldn’t find them because by the time he finally found Rayleigh that circus had claimed Blue and The Knights him. It was years before Gaban had found and freed him from them and nearly got himself killed doing it, Shanks could never forgive himself for being the reason his Da is forever scarred so severely, the burns limiting his mobility without pain and nearly taking his eyes. 

“Go knock some sense into your Shanks’ head then.” Shanks murmured. “He probably just convinced himself you don’t want your old Mãe intruding on your adventures as King.”

“Stupid Shanks, I will always need my Mãe and Da. I’ll be sure to do that and remind you it was you who said to.” Luffy chuckled wetly, rubbing his face on Shanks’ chest earning a sigh. 

Beckman jerked up the moment his husband and Anchor stepped back into the ring of firelights. His heart lodged into his throat as he saw their son, their very small son in his arm. “What happened?” 

“Ah… Anchor got a bit riled up and was tired when he calmed down.” Shanks hummed absentmindedly rocking Luffy like he’d done when his little prince was actually this small. “I figured it’d be best to bring him back around his crew since holding the mist is taking so much out of him. Do one of you wish to take him?”

Robin chuckled as she grew an arm out of her captain’s shoulder to ruffle his hair. “No, he is safest and happiest right where he is.”

“Robin!” Luffy whined in faux embarrassment. After all, she wasn’t wrong in the slightest and if not for passing out meaning the mist would fall he’d have already given into sleep. 

Shanks chuckled and turned to Beckman. “I think your Da wants some cuddles too.”

He watched his son leap over to Beckman and cuddle into him, savouring the view, the soft look on both of his most important peoples’ faces in the world. He waited till Beck had walked off a bit, soft murmurs leaving him before he strode over towards his pops and yanked him by his ear and into the forest towards his Pai, shooting his Da a look the moment he went to object, gesturing him to follow. 

They didn’t have enough time, he was going to have a word with his parents and fix this. He could feel how much his son was suffering and though he was terrified that what he says will change so much, that he will never get to meet his Anchor, that he won’t meet Beckman and will always find himself lacking something… but it doesn’t matter… his son’s happiness and wellbeing do, he will just have to believe Calypso would lead him back to his Anchor and Beck. 

“Brat what!?” Rayleigh demanded the moment Shanks let go and practically threw him into his Pai. 

“Sit, all of you.” Shanks said, eyes glowing. “I said sit.” 

He took a deep breath as he eyed his parents and prayed to Calypso that Blue would forgive him. “When Captain died, Blue and I were in the crowd, we watched your head roll. Rayleigh fucked off into a bottle and left us, the crew left us. Da was in Elbaph securing us a place that Blue and I didn’t know about because no one told us!” 

“Red.” Rayleigh rasped.

“No, you will listen!” Shanks snarled furiously, haki crackling. “I haven’t spoken to my brother in years, only once and that was before I met Anchor. He was captured and sold to a circus as a beast to show. I lived on the streets for months till Teach found me and tried… he is the reason why I have these scars. Besides the point! Rayleigh fucked off into a bottle and ended up with aunt Shakky, I don’t know what was said but Da hasn’t spoken to Rayleigh since.” 

Shanks took a deep breath and covered his eyes, hiding the tears that wished to spill. “My twin brother found me bleeding out and grief stricken, I was taken back into the fold and became a holy knight… or to be one. Da found me a year later and dragged me down, not without nearly killing himself and getting burned and half blinded.” 

“What…” Roger choked out, head snapping around to their Paixão who had yet to say a word. 

“I don’t give a fuck what you do, you’ve already made your decision and seas curse whoever tried to change your mind.” Shanks continued, ignoring them. “So you do what you planned Captain, I cannot, will not stop you but Da, please. Please. I cannot watch my son suffer, cannot continue on and let him suffer. It’ll kill me, it’ll kill Beckman when I tell him…” 

“Tongue lashings all around tonight…” Roger rasped before a coughing fit shook his massive frame. It was only then that Shanks' anger abated enough to see the tear tracks on his Pai’s face. Tracks he was sure both Rayleigh and Gaban noticed as they rushed to support their husband. “I… I assure you, Red. I caught my errors more than well in the tongue lashing your son gave me before you took him away. I’d… I’d also like for things to change. Paixão and Rayleigh didn’t deserve what my choices did to us any more than you and Blue did.”

“I love you Pai, I don’t think I ever said it or if I did I cannot remember but your selfish desire to die like a pirate, to not die in a bed with those you love around you destroyed our family.” Shanks sighed and looked to the lightening sky. “Unfortunately you set the Great Pirate Era and that still needs to happen.”

“Could we fake his death somehow?” Gaban asked, stepping back now that Roger had settled once more. “Surely there’s a devil fruit of some kind that could make a body double? We… we could retire to East Blue maybe? Garp’s home island is there after all and there’s hardly any marine presence there. Or somewhere in the calm belt? There’s plenty of uninhabited islands and archipelagos that we could claim… Roger… Roger just has to be willing to retire…”

“Paixão…” Roger choked as he saw Gaban’s hands shake along with his voice. 

“I will let you all sort this out, I'm going to spend the last few moments I have left with my son and husband.” Shanks said and turned around. “It was good to spend time with you, Pai, despite everything.”

Gaban watched his son leave, his own heart breaking but he felt determined. “I knew eventually, once Roger died that I would be nothing and that I mean nothing to you, Leigh… no matter how much you try to convince me it seems my fears do come true.” 

“Paixão.” Leigh begged as he stumbled forward, coming up short when Gaban flinched away.

“You find another way Roger, if you don’t or if you still refuse then I will leave here and now and you'll never see my face again. I refuse to be hurt again, I'd rather leave on my own terms than be discarded.” Gaban said not even bothering to look at them. “You decide, I'll be with our son and grandson.”

“Paixão…” Rayleigh pleaded once more. 

“Stop!” Gaban snapped, spinning for both men to see the tears on his face. “Stop fucking calling me that when it won’t mean a seas damned thing once Roger is gone! I thought promises fucking meant something to you… to both of you.”

“But then again I fucking thought this meant something too.” Gaban snarled, throwing his wedding band down at their feet. “Do not fucking talk to me again until me and our kids are worth more than going out as a legend and a bottle of whiskey. Don’t bring that ring near me until you both remember that we all promised each other forever not just until Roger died either. Dying on that mountain would have hurt less than this.”

Gaban stormed off leaving Rayleigh and Roger behind him devastated, not even turning back to give a glance or hesitation. He didn’t stop to see Rayleigh collapse, his hand shakily reaching out for the ring that hadn't left Gaban’s hand since they placed it on him. He didn’t see the way Roger’s eyes dimmed and the heartbreak that twisted at his face, eyes locked on the spot the ring landed. 

“Exc-cuse me?” A high pitched voice startled them, drawing their eyes to the reindeer that was their grandsons doctor. “Luffy said to give this to you… he said you were the one my father… I mean Doctor Hiriluk and Doctorine were making it for but it was too late. I made a dose and wrote it down for your doctor… it should clear everything out. It worked when Luffy showed the same signs a couple years ago.” 

Rayleigh jerked at that, both at the fact it worked and that his grandson got the same Grand Line sickness Roger did. “But he’s okay now?” 

“Yes we caught it in time! But… with Captain Roger, it won't be as effective… I’m sorry. The damage to the lungs has already been done, the cough will remain and the tightness but it won't be killing you.” Chopper explained softly. “Luffy’s course only took a week but from the journals Doctorine and Crocus gave me I’d estimate Roger would need at least a month of treatment. If only Torao or Marco were here… maybe they could help heal some of the damage in your lungs. I hope you’ll take it… for Shanks and Buggy’s sake if nothing else.” 

“I… I know what it’s like to watch a father die first from sickness and then by his own hand…” Chopper said with a small grimace. “You don’t know me and I know my only connection to you is from being Luffy’s but… as a person who lived the same thing, don’t do that to them. I wouldn’t wish it on anyone, neither would the version of Shanks that’s here now. Take the medicine and make the hardest choice you ever will. Make the choice to live, Roger.”

Rayleigh took the medication and the notes with a watery thank you pulling it close to his chest while his other hand clutched the ring tightly. He may have gotten the ability to save one husband but he had lost the other, how could this have happened? How could his future self been so fucking stupid!? They had spent years trying to prove to Gaban that they loved him just as they loved one another but apparently his future self said fuck you to all the promises he had made. 

He didn’t even know how to stop that from happening either because it hadn’t happened yet. Nonetheless Gaban was punishing them for actions they’d yet to take. Rayleigh couldn’t even blame him. Not now that he knew that one husband would rather die a legend than live out his days with them and that the other chose drink and a different lover over grieving with him. Rayleigh wouldn’t trust himself or Roger either knowing what their future selves had done. Even if they did make different choices now would Gaban be back to how he was at the mountain, at Little Garden? Just constantly waiting for the other shoe to drop. 

“How do we always hurt them so thoroughly?” Rayleigh rasped brokenly as he stared at the ring in his hand. He craved a drink, anything to numb the ache ripping his chest apart. But that feeling was exactly what got him into this situation wasn’t it? Was whiskey really his solution to every hurt even this early? “I love him. I swear to the seas and the old gods I do… Roger… how the fuck do we fix this? Us?”

Roger swallowed, tearing his eyes away from the spot to look at Rayleigh. “I don’t know Leigh, but Shanks is right, our grandson is right. I did want to go out in battle over living my last remaining days in peace with you, Gaban and our kids… Besides doing what is asked of us, there is nothing we can do but try and prove we won't be the Roger and Rayleigh our son knows us as.” 

“We need to head back, the longer we linger here the longer it taxes Luffy.” He continued after looking to the sky, hearing the wind and the voices around him. 

Rayleigh clutched Gaban’s ring closer and slipped it on his thumb, making sure to keep it close at all times. They would fix this, they would get their Passion back and make sure their sons don’t suffer the same fate as the Shanks and Blue of this time.

Walking back into the party, Bink’s being played and sung, Red whining and pouting as his doctor and Luffy’s fuss over cleaning his wound and checking it. Luffy was hanging off Beckman back to his proper size, looking like he was one stiff breeze from falling over into a dead sleep.

Luffy knew their time was almost up, knew that holding onto the mist for so long was dangerous and selfish. He also knew what he was about to do was just as selfish, it was cruel, he knew but Luffy couldn't stand goodbyes. It hurt less without them. 

He spared one last glance, savouring the view of his Nakama and family laughing and sharing their tales and food, the familiar dum-ta-ta beating louder and louder, he felt the laughter building as his hair and clothes bled into white. Panic flickered across his Nakama's faces, they knew, they knew that this was probably the last time they would meet if things changed. 

“Shishishi— Dahahaha, don’t look so scared, you guys, I love you.” Luffy cackled as he covered them all with his haki letting it seep down to the very heart of them. “You are all mine. Time will never change that. I’ll find you, all of you, in every lifetime.”

With that Luffy let go of his hold on the rainbow mist, eyes closed and head tilted back to the sky, unable to watch those he loves vanish before him again. He expected the vertigo, the sudden shift of the world lurching and the pain that comes with it, only nothing happened. His eyes snapped open, he was still standing where he was, except there were no signs that anyone other than him had been there. 

The stillness threw him and instinctively he went to throw out his haki to sense his family and the world around him. An action that brought all the pain wracking through him as it lanced through his brain leaving him collapsed with a whimper as he clutched at his head. He couldn’t hear the world or his crew… he was alone and it was his own fault. 

Nami always called his self sacrificing tendencies selfish and she wasn’t wrong. Everyone knew that Luffy was selfish. Nothing meant more to him than his nakama and family and he’d give everything for them to be happy. That’s why he’d done it. Why he’d warned two different generations in hopes that something would change. 

That Nami, Sanji, and Robin wouldn’t have to know what chains felt like, that Zoro wouldn’t be competing with the ghost of his old rival somehow but the girl herself, that Usopp would have his mother at least a little longer or a more present father, that Brook would be found sooner and Franky didn't have to see his father die. That Ace would live knowing he was loved and cherished like nothing else and Sabo would never be stolen from them. 

He’d do anything for them all to be happy and more importantly free… even… even if it cost him them. And it had. He was alone. He didn’t think to consider how he could have reached this island without them. Seas knows he was helpless at navigating at steering Sunny until she danced on the waves. It didn’t matter. He could only hope they were happy. They were his, even if they never knew him in this life now, he loved them. 

A broken sob left him as he tangled his hands in his hair tugging hard to stay grounded. He loved them even as broken as they all were, because of how broken they all were but they didn’t deserve the hurt they’d known. They deserved to be happy and loved and free even if it wasn’t at his side. After all, why would they love him if there weren’t monsters for him to beat to free them? Monsters were meant to be alone. That was what gramps always told him and Luffy was nothing if not a monster.  

Maybe this was his punishment? Maybe he deserved this, he knew Dragon didn't want him, that Gramps suffered looking after him. Why else would anyone want him if his own blood didn't? He had no one, no one but the memories and nothing else… a scream tore from his lips as he hunched over, haki clad fingers digging into his scalp, blood dripping steadily. 

His body felt wrong, heavy and he just wanted his Mãe… he wants Shanks, he wants his Da! He wants Ace! 

Please… please… Ace, want Ace!

“Luffy!” 

Nami’s shout as she and the rest of the crew broke through the tree line didn’t register as he sobbed one hand dropping from his hair to claw at his chest. He needed his brothers. 

“Ace… ‘Bo… por que você me deixou?!” Luffy begged eyes darting around blankly searching for haki signatures he couldn’t sense right now. “Você prometeu que não me deixaria…”

“LUFFY!” Chopper yelled, panicked as he saw the blank stare and the clawing, the blood. “Someone help me stop him!”

“Stop him!?” Nami shouted, “Zoro, Sanji hold him! Robin, Jinbe get Sabo and Ace! Torao!” 

Usopp came dashing into the field, panic clear on his face. “There’s no one else on the island, what happened!?”

“I’ve never seen him like this…” Nami whispered brokenly as Sanji and Zoro wrenched Luffy’s arms behind him with haki coating their skin. “Not even after his nightmares that have him sneaking into mine and Robin's room.”

“Keep him steady!” Chopper called as he prepped an injection. “I’m going to sedate him so we can get him back to the ship. It might not knock him out but it should at least calm him enough for us to move.”

“Hurry!” Sanji exclaimed with a grunt. “Moss head and I can't hold him for much longer, he's fighting hard.” 

“Captain!” Zoro called, tightening his arms across Luffy’s chest  gritting his teeth as Luffy clawed at his arms. 

Something sour lodged in his throat at the distress his Captain was in. He was supposed to protect him, he swore to his brothers and himself after everything that happened at Marineford that got them separated. Luffy had put himself between every danger and them, had taken many wounds just for Zoro alone before they even left the east and now when Luffy was most vulnerable, this place being somewhat of importance someone or thing hurt his captain. 

It took far too long for the sedative to work, even then Zoro and Sanji struggled to get their captain back to the ship. Sanji immediately went to the kitchen to cook, needing the steadiness to hide how his hands shook while Zoro took up a spot in the medical room eye never leaving Luffy’s face while Chopper rushed around for more sedatives. 

“Ace-kun is on his way, he will be flying with Marco. Sabo-kun is not far behind him.” Robin explained as she stepped in. “Shanks-san was with Ace-kun.”

“Chopper, how is he?” Nami asked as she stepped into the room. 

“I don’t know, there are no wounds beyond what he caused himself, and I can't measure his heartbeat because it's Marco’s heart he’s carrying right now… it cannot be a drug…” Chopper frantically stated as he rushed around. “I don’t know but he’s out and it’s not because of me, something is seriously wrong. I think I need Torao’s and Marco’s help.” 

“Then we will be here when he wakes up, the best thing we will do for us is keep occupied and take turns till Ace, Sabo and Shanks get here. I have a feeling it will be them that will get through to him.” Nami said.

Robin nodded thoughtfully, her heart aching at seeing her captain and saviour so still and broken. “He was calling for Ace specifically.” 

It took three days for Ace and Marco to arrive, the younger of the two not even waiting for permission to board, dashing towards the medical room where they knew Luffy would be, his heart aching when he couldn’t even feel a hint of Luffy’s haki. 

“Lu…” Ace whimpered softly seeing his brother catatonic in the bed. He didn’t hesitate to crawl into the bed beside his baby brother despite it being almost too small for Luffy alone let alone both of them and curled around him. “It’s okay, Luz de sol, I’m here.”

Marco immediately took the file from Chopper and read it over, his flames flicking out to wash over his husband in desperation. There was nothing wrong, not in the file and nothing his flames could find, the only thing he could sense was the minor scratches and haki exhaustion. This felt different though, it felt like a coma and not a haki exhaustion sleep or even a fruit. 

“Marco?” Ace asked as he watched his best friend and brother in law grow tense. 

“We’re going to need to wait for Law, yoi.” Marco explained with a grimace. “There is nothing I can sense, nothing Chopper can see or find. There is nothing to explain why he hasn’t woken up.” 

Ace buried his face into Luffy’s hair, fingers clenched tight around his brother's sash as he hid his tears in Luffy’s dark red hair. If Torao couldn’t find anything wrong with his Luz de Sol then they will have to wait for Shanks.

Law arrived the same day as Ace and Marco, his crew looking a bit haggard at how fast they’d been asked to push their sub. Law didn’t even look like he’d slept since Robin sent out the call that something was wrong with Luffy as he leapt up onto Sunny. Much like Ace and Marco, he beelined right to Chopper’s little infirmary. A soft Room fell from his lips as he immediately ran every diagnostic his fruit allowed him. 

He didn’t miss the comforting brush of Marco’s hand against the back of his neck or the soft flicker of bright blue flames that drew away the worst of the ache in his head and body from three days of no sleep. 

“There's…” Law trailed off as he couldn't find anything, even with his fruit. There was nothing to show why Lu-ya was still asleep or even what caused the hysteria. “There’s nothing wrong. Physically, he’s completely fine, other than his heartbeat being a little slower than I’d like. The last time I saw this is when he went catatonic after the war thinking Ace and Sabo died. This… this is mental. There’s nothing we can do but wait except loading him up on nutrient and calorie IV’s so his body doesn’t start trying to eat itself because of his fruit.”

Law pulled off the tabs from his chest monitoring Luffy’s heart, he knew enough to know that nothing was going to change, not till he woke. “Still what happened for him to be like this? Where was he?”

“There was an island not far from here. Luffy was insistent that we go. Three days sailing back now. We moved to meet your vivre card so that you could get here faster.” Robin said as she carefully straightened the blanket covering Luffy. “He said the Sea said it was important but when we got there Luffy refused to let us join him on the island. He even made it an order. You all know how much Captain hates giving real orders.”

Ace nodded, his brothers only ever gave them when it was serious. “So he went on an island by himself?”

“Yes, it was deserted, not a soul that he or Ussopp could pick up. He had been gone for not even half an hour before he started screaming.” Robin explained pained, those screams were going to stay in her mind for the rest of her life. She’d seen and done a lot of things but seeing her captain, her savior, just break like that felt like her heart was being ripped from her chest.  “Chopper had to sedate him to keep him from doing more damage to himself and he began calling for Ace and Sabo in Goan. He was still struggling when Zoro and Sanji brought him back before he fell completely into this state.”

“Can we move him to the Captain's Quarters? It will be more comfortable and big enough for the three of us.” Ace stated, acknowledging what was said but his heart twisted. Calling for him and Sabo? “Sabo should be here around the same time as Shanks.” 

“He can, I will do it in a moment.” Law stated as he opened up another room, switching everyone within an instant. 

“That is still disorienting, yoi.” Marco grumbled as he stumbled a couple steps. “You and Ace should sleep. Neither of you have slept in days, Law. I can take the first watch.”

Ace shook his head. “Marco you flew here, you rest and I will take the first watch. I am going to call Sabo.”

“Fine, if only because I’m too exhausted to argue.” Marco huffed as he undid his belt and laid it on Luffy’s bedside table after habitually checking the compartments. “You better be in here to swap with one of us in a few hours though.”

“I’m just going to be on the other side of the door,” Ace explained. “Nami lets me use her office for when I need to make calls, she trusts me not to wreck her maps being a navigator. I also know you and Torao need to just… lie with Lulu.” 

Ace left the room, leaving Law and Marco to sit on the bed, the younger sighing as he pressed his hand against his chest and withdrew Luffy’s heart. There was no flaw, no missbeat, not even the weird rhythm that was Nika’s power, it worried him. “I had no warning.” 

“We’ll figure it out once he wakes up, yoi.” Marco sighed softly, pulling his other husband into his embrace, pressing a kiss to his temple. “It must have been exhausting somehow to put him in this state.” 

“I hope… You never saw him after Marineford, he broke, he broke and it hurt.” Torao confessed. “I didn’t even know him then but I felt that anguish to my core, he shut down completely till Jinbe-ya got through to him. He confessed that, that if he was the last then he didn’t want to wake, he thought he was alone again.”

“He’s not alone, yoi. He has us and we will stay with him till he wakes, my heartstealer.” Marco reassured. “Shanks will be here soon and if all of us can't help him then the ocean may.”

Law hummed at that as he slipped off his boots, setting them to the side before lowering himself to the floor before Marco to remove the blonde’s sandals. “Feels weird. Being the one to look after him for once, huh, Songbird?”

“It does… you know I hate being called that!” Marco huffed even as a flush rose in his cheeks. “I don’t sing!”

“I don’t know, I think me and Lu-ya do a pretty good job of making you sing for us.” Law teased as he stood again and pressed his lips to Marco’s forehead. “I’ve missed you, Birdbrain, both of you.”

“Missed you too.” Marco hummed as he crawled over Luffy’s body to his spot against the wall. Law hated being hemmed in when he could avoid it so Marco or Luffy always made sure to grab the wall spot. Granted, usually it was Luffy because Marco liked staying cozy in the middle… if he snuck minor healing in to help with Law and Luffy’s aches then that was his business. 

Ace paced the room as he dialled his twin, hand running through his hair stressed. It ached seeing Luffy so still, even when he was hurt his brother twitched and moved, the last time he saw Luffy this still… it was the bear incident. Just what happened? Who hurt his baby brother? 

‘How is he?’ Sabo demanded, no greeting but Ace couldn't be mad he'd be the same.

“Still.” Ace managed to get out, grimacing at the sharp inhale. “Marco, Chopper and Torao cannot find the cause.”

‘Fuck. I dropped in on Shanks thanks to Karasu so if they’re sailing to meet us now that you and Marco are both there we should cross sometime tomorrow afternoon.’ Sabo said and Ace could already picture him running his hands through his hair to pull it from the stress. ‘The next morning at the latest should any storms brew to slow either of us down. We’ll figure this out, Ace. We always do.”

“I know… but it's Lu.” Ace sighed.

‘Have you spoken to Ma? Or let Tio Roger, Rayleigh or Gaban know?’ Sabo asked and the following silence was loud  even to Ace who was cringing. ‘Ace, you need to tell them, Shanks is beside himself and I'm sure no one else thought to.’

“They’re back home on Dawn, Bo. What are they going to do?” Ace asked with a grimace. “Even if they did want to come check on Lu it would take them months to get here and Dad can’t sail with his own health getting worse. It would just put him in a mood and Da and Pops wouldn’t leave him in that state because he’d do something stupid.”

‘Ace, they need to know their grandson is hurt… but you are correct. Last I heard ma said that it was taking maman all her willpower not to poison Tio Roger.” Sabo sighed exasperated. ‘I'll let Tio Blue know to pass it on to Tio Crocodile and Hawk… Beckman can figure out how to tell everyone else if he hasn't woken up.”

“Fine.” Ace groaned as he scrubbed a hand down his face. “I’ll call Da and Pop after we get off the call.”

‘I'll be there soon Ace,’ Sabo swore before hanging up, leaving Ace alone with his thoughts and a decision.

His Pai was sick, had been since before he was even born and it had only gotten worse as the years went on and his age caught up. His pops and Da did all they could to keep him from the sea long term but Ace knew his pai didn't have it in him to travel this far back into the New World… but his Da and Pops needed to know and it was their decision and problem to sort out his pai.

‘Firecracker! Wasn’t expecting a call from you today!’ His Da's jovial voice cackled across the den den, smile wide and Ace hated he had to ruin that. 

“Is pai with you?” he asked slow. “Cause I need to tell you and pops somethin’.”

As he guessed, the smile vanished. ‘Your pai is with Dadan getting fleeced by Princess. Your pops is here… hey Leigh! Ace is on the den den!’

“Luffy is hurt.” Ace blurted out as his Pops face came across the line. “We got a call a few days ago, I just got here… he… he hasn't woken up and both Law and Marco haven't found anything, neither has Chopper. Shanks is on his way but Sabo said to let you know.”

The silence that followed was loud and Ace fidgeted with worry. He knew his parents were having a silent conversation but this felt different, heavier somehow. “Pops? Da?”

‘I'm going, Rayleigh, and that's final, we owe that kid and you know it.’ Gaban growled low. ‘Ace I'll be there as soon as I can, I'll hitch a ride with Mo.’ 

“Da… we’re on the far end of the New World? Are you sure about this?” Ace asked incredulously. “No offense, but none of you have come back to the new world since you guys faked Pai’s execution… and well… you’re not exactly young anymore…”

‘Brat, you don't need to worry about that. There is a lot you never saw or was told about kid.’ Gaban stated. ‘Plus, can go over the red line the other way with Momora. I have my ways, you keep your brother company, see you soon.’

Ace sighed as the den den clicked, running his hand through his hair. He was helpless and as much as he wanted to be by his brother's side, he didn’t want to interrupt Marco and Law seeking their own comfort from their husband. He was well aware that how dependent he and his brothers’ mental states were on each other’s well being wasn’t exactly healthy but even with their loving parents it always felt like them against the world. 

Luffy and Sabo had always been his fiercest defenders. Hell, Luffy’s first kill was a drunk that decided to beat Ace shitless in the scrap heap. So when a heart broken wail shattered the tense quiet hanging over the Sunny his heart shattered with it and his feet were moving long before his head caught up. 

“Ace!!!! Sabo!!!” Luffy cried tears streaming from wide blank eyes as he struggled against Marco and Law trying to hold him down. “Ace!!! Sabo!!! Não me deixe! Me desculpe! Por favor, eu vou melhorar! Não me deixe sozinho! Dói! Ace, dói!”

The short burst of uncontrolled conqueror’s haki rattled the Sunny and the sea responded in kind as violent waves started kicking up, tossing the ship around. Ace hit the floor more than once, scrambling to get back to his feet each time as he rushed through the ship to Luffy’s room. He didn’t understand what Luffy was apologizing for but it didn’t matter. His baby brother needed him. 

His shoulder slammed into the door cracking it open and he launched himself onto the bed, wrapping himself around his brother and tucking his head under his chin, uncaring of his brother's monstrous grip. “Shhh Lulu, Nii-chan has you, you're not alone… we promised remember, it's okay, Acey has you.”

Luffy sobbed into his chest with heart-rending sobs and blank eyes telling Ace that his little brother wasn't with them.  He didn’t know where he was or what nightmares were plaguing him behind his blank eyes, Ace just knew it hurt. It always hurt when Luffy broke and believed lies in his head over reality. It didn’t happen often of course but there had been times when it took days to get Luffy out of wherever his night terrors trapped him and back to reality. 

They always had to be careful too because his instincts would take the vulnerability and try to trigger a Rage to protect Luffy from threats that weren’t real. They all had scars from them, scars Luffy hated and cried for days and weeks over being the cause of. Beckman and Gaban had had to take months relearning how to shoot and throw axes when a bite from Luffy broke their arms and damaged the tendons during a Rage as a kid. Shanks nearly lost his voice from a bite and his Pai lost his little finger. They were fine now but still an unaware Luffy caused a lot of damage. So few people really realized just how much control Luffy had to exhibit to keep his strengths and instincts in check. 

“Ace!!” Luffy sobbed, voice cracking as his conqueror’s haki lashed out again. “Dói!”

“I know… I know…” Ace murmured as he pressed his lips to Luffy’s hair. “I have you Lulu, you're safe okay? Torao and Marco are here, Acey is here and Bo is on his way. Your Pai and Da are on their way too, you're not alone anymore Lulu. Marco, Law, one of you needs to go get Chopper so he can be sedated again. The last thing we need is him trying to rage while we’re at sea. His conqueror’s is stronger than mine. I can't force him down without help if that happens.”

“I’ll go get him.” Law said quickly before throwing out a room and vanishing. 

It didn't take long for Chopper to come scampering back with a large dose of sedation in his hands. It was enough to even put a giant to sleep and didn't hesitate to administer the drugs. Luffy thrashed and whimpered but soon fell back into a quiet and still slumber.

“I was hoping to avoid giving him a full dose.” Chopper said sadly as he diligently checked all of Luffy’s vitals. “He normally only needs this much when the migraines become too much to bear.”

“Migraines?” Marco said incredulously. “What migraines? I’ve never even heard him complain about a headache let alone a migraine, yoi.”

“Well none of you live with him.” Chopper said with a roll of his eyes as he marked things down on the chart he’d seemed to manifest from thin air. “You visit or we visit you guys. It’s easy to hide something like chronic pain and migraines when you only see each other a week every three months or so. That and Luffy has me micro dose him when you’re all around so you don’t know how much pain he’s constantly in.”

“He’s going to be mad you revealed this, Chopper-ya.” Law said quietly. 

“He can be mad all he wants. The scare with Roger’s Disease last year was bad enough. I almost didn’t develop the cure before permanent damage set in because he refused to let us call anyone that had dealt with it.” Chopper said sharply. “If it means I’ll have help keeping him out of constant pain I’ll take whatever punishment he sees fit for breaking his orders.”

Ace choked, head snapping around to Chopper with wide eyes. “He got the same New World sickness my Pai got? Why didn't he tell us, we had a cure for that! Torao could have cured that!” 

Did his brother not trust him, them? He knew what sickness his pai had, knew that a brilliant doctor had found a cure for it and had given it to them after a night on an island during a rainbow mist. 

“Ace, have you ever seen Luffy admit to being weak?” Chopper sighed softly. “I’ve heard enough from Hongo and the others to know he hides first ever since he was a kid. It’s not that he doesn’t trust you. It’s the fact that telling you doesn’t change anything. It just makes you worry. Luffy never wants to be a burden. Not that he is or would be. It’s just… Luffy… sunshiney, terrifyingly smart, self sacrificing, idiot Luffy. He doesn’t see the need or point in stressing any of you out when as a crew we can handle pretty much anything. By the time you reached us the problem would have been fixed with the exception of his night terrors. That’s exclusively an Ace and Sabo fix 90% of the time.”

“I am going to vivisect him, I swear to all the seas!” Law hissed furiously. “Marco and I need to know these things Chopper-ya! We too are his doctors, he comes to us when he needs treatment and this is…” 

Marco pulled Law into his arms, transforming them into his wings and hid him away from prying eyes. “What Law means is that we both have given Luffy painkillers for injuries before, we know he has a high metabolism and his pain tolerance is through the roof but Chopper, I had to do surgery on Luffy, what if he woke half way?” 

“Oh and Whitebeard never ordered all of you to hide how serious things were?” Chopper said as he packed things away. “You would have been filled in years ago if I had my way. I was doing what my Captain ordered. And yes he used haki to give it so it wasn’t exactly something I could ignore. I have always kept you both updated on how much he needs to be kept under for surgeries just not how often he needs it some days to function.”

“Then this is a discussion we will be having with our husband, yoi.” Marco said blandly, eyes narrowed on Luffy’s face. It seemed their rubberbrained husband needed another lecture on hiding his health from them, he knew that Ace was preparing his own from the look in those eyes. 

“Please.” Chopper huffed softly. “I’m sick of just managing his pain when between the three of us we could actually fix it.”

“We'll talk more about it later, Chopper-ya, when Lu-ya is awake.” Law said as he expanded another room over his idiot, looking closer than he ever had before. His chest ached at the countless micro fractures in his husband’s hands and legs. Healed yes but the evidence still remained. Things he’d always glossed over searching for bigger more immediate problems that made a sickening kind of sense now that he knew his husband struggled with chronic pain. 

-

Sabo arrived just before dawn, his feet thudding on the deck of the Sunny unusually loud and ungraceful as he scrambled towards where he could sense his brothers. Luffy’s screams and haki rent the air, his and Ace's names ripping from his throat along with others. 

“ACE!” He called as he slammed into the room, diving for the bed and curling around the back of Luffy, squeezing tight. It's what they had done when he was little and had night terrors, practically crushing him between them. 

“‘Bo…” Ace grunted in relief as he struggled to hold on to a thrashing Luffy. Damn the Monkey D genetics that made his brother hit a growth spurt at twenty-four leaving him bulkier, taller, and all around bigger than both his older brothers. “Welcome to the chaos.” 

“Have to admit I prefer a different brand of it.” Sabo grunted as he coated his arms and hands in haki to keep better hold of his slippery little brother. Marco could heal the bruises once Luffy was calm again.  “Why isn’t he being sedated? He could rage in his sleep?!”

“None of the doctors on board are comfortable giving him another full dose.” Ace groaned narrowly dodging as Luffy gnashed his teeth in his face. “Chopper doesn’t want him developing any more of a drug resistance than he already has. We’ve got to get him through this episode with strength and haki. Is Shanks with you or did you sky walk ahead? We may need him too if our Conqueror’s combined isn’t enough. Hell we may even need Zoro and the last thing Luffy would want is the crew outside of Chopper seeing him like this.”

“Well at least with Marco on hand we should avoid new scars to trigger him.” Sabo huffed in exasperation just to let out a soft whimper as Luffy let out another heart wrenching wail. “I skywalked the last bit but the red force should be alongside in the next few minutes.”

“Thank fuck.” Ace grunted, hissing slightly as he held back his flames from where Luffy scratched at him. “He’s not settling, no matter what I or anyone says. They've never been this bad Bo, I'm worried. We still don't know what happened or what caused it, it's like he's locked in his head with no escape.”

“I tried to look for information on that island but there is nothing Ace, nothing, it's just a random spring island near the end.” Sabo grunted. “Shhh luz de sol, Bo has you, Ace and I won't let go we swear.”

“Dòi! Dòi!” Luffy cried out as he continued thrashing. “Faça isso parar!”

“I know it hurts, LuLu.” Ace said softly. “It’ll be over soon. We have you, otoutou.”

A strong wave of haki washed over them like a tidal wave, causing many to sigh in relief as it meant Shanks was near. The near instant effect of it stilling Luffy.

“Thank fuck…” Ace breathed tiredly laying his head against Luffy’s. “He’d been at that for nearly an hour.”

Law flicked his fingers, throwing out a room before suddenly he and Marco were swapped with Beckman and Shanks. Both men staggered but quickly regained their equilibrium when they finally saw where they were. 

“How is he?” Shanks said as he rushed the last few steps to Luffy’s side. 

“Stable again thanks to that lash of haki you sent out.” Ace said tiredly as he shook out his arms. Holding Luffy down wasn’t exactly an easy feat. “Thanks for that by the way. Nothing we were doing was calming him.”

“How long has he been like this?” Beckman asked, coming to the bed at a more sedate pace but the worry on his face was clear to see. 

“Nearing on a week now.” Ace sighed. “Chopper kept him mostly sedated until we arrived but then he had an episode like just now and he had to give him a full dose to calm him. We’re trying to avoid sedating him for now. Chopper doesn’t want his drug resistance any stronger than it already is.”

“There’s nothing physically wrong. Chopper has run every test imaginable to make sure it wasn’t just some poison Luffy happened to be susceptible to somehow and nothing. It’s like his night terrors on drugs. He wakes up but he’s not here. So he starts lashing out with his haki and tearing at himself.” Ace continued moving down toward the foot of the bed to let Shanks take his spot. “He nearly opened his chest scar before I got hold of his hands this time. He’s just trapped in his own head.”

There was a long pause as Shanks gathered his son into his arms, a language they didn't know rolling off his tongue, settling Luffy more. Ace shared a look with sabo quickly before swallowing. “Da is on his way.”

Shanks stilled, red eyes flashing up. “What?” 

“I called them to let them know about Lu, Da was insistent on coming, even argued with pops.” Ace explained. “Never heard that tone from Da before, especially directed at pops.” 

“Sometimes I forget that you were born long after they figured out how to actually communicate with each other.” Shanks said with a soft snort. “Da, Pai, and Pops used to fight all the time. Usually because Pops or Pai did or said something stupid.”

“Okay the second part of that is believable because Pai and Pops are notoriously idiots that share a brain cell no matter how much Pops denies it, but them fighting all the time? Bullshit.” Ace said with a roll of his eyes. “Not fights with consequence anyway the biggest fight they had that I remember was that time Gramps kidnapped us for “training” and Pai wouldn’t let Da give him Blue’s Celestial treatment… whatever the fuck that is.”

Shanks paled at that slightly as he clutched Luffy close when he whimpered. “And you never do.” 

“… it can’t be that bad if he named it after Blue-nii.” Ace huffed. “Blue can be sadistic at times but he never hurts family. Loathe as we are to claim Gramps as that most of the time.”

“Ace, it’s not called that because of something Blue did. It’s called that because of what happened to people after they hurt Blue.” Shanks said with a shudder. “It’s just legend and old stories to you but Da’s bloodthirsty streak when it came to us kids is something Blue and me actually lived. Hell that incident was tame compared to what officially earned him his epithet or the before.”

Shanks shook his head briefly. “But that's a story for later, right now we need to focus on Anchor, his haki is all over the place, fluctuating rapidly. Beck, we may need to take a dip in the ocean. I think we’re going to be here a while.” 

“I’ll let the crew know to settle in then. Do we want to keep this at sea or consult with Anchor’s navigator for an island?” Beck hummed as he carefully carded a hand through Luffy’s sweat damp hair. “If your haki keeps calming him quick enough we’re fine, but if he’s really trapped in his head like we’re thinking… his night terrors have triggered rages before especially if it’s been a long time since his last. The last I recall is when me, Marco, and Law were kidnapped that time a few years ago.”

“We need to make it to an island, not the one that this happened on but another. I can keep up the haki but…” Shanks trailed off his eyes flicking down. “It wont hold forever, the haki backlash and exhaustion will hit me, it is taking a considerable effort to keep him calm and we don’t want him waking to sense or see that.”

“Hopefully Chopper will allow sedation again before that happens.” Sabo hummed softly, eyes sad as he looked at the bruises blooming on his brother’s skin. Bruised he had made. “Times like this I hate that only Luffy was prodigious with his conqueror’s haki out of the three of us. Ace and I have it but the strength of ours isn’t enough to get him to submit.”

“Pai’s the same.” Ace huffed softly. “Da and Pops are beastly with their haki but even sick Pai’s is another level. Luffy’s the only one I can compare with Shanks a close second. When we’re sure he’s sedated has been the only time we’ve been able to catch any sleep so Bo you should catch some while you can when shanks is still fresh,”

Shanks cast the two brothers a look And then to his husband who merely nodded and left the room, closing the door behind him. “Luffy’s haki is beyond me, beyond da, pops and pai.”

“I know, but you’ve been at all his bigger rages. He instinctively responds to you in a way he doesn’t us.” Sabo said softly. 

“No, even then… I can't stop Luffy from raging, cannot hold him back even with my haki being what it is if he lost all sense and I mean lost all sense…” Shanks grimaced. “My family, the Blood… I am a Figarland… and when the Ocean blessed us, his hair wasn't the only thing that was from me. His genetics alone made him a powerhouse, the Ocean Blessing made him close to a god with his fruit.”

“I mean, technically, he is a god.” Ace joked half heartedly. “Nika is terrifying.”

“Nika has nothing on Luffy during a stress rage. I’d know, I’ve fought Luffy with Nika in control.” Shanks said with a haunted look on his face. “You boys have only seen the ones that had a target. Those are bad as it is but the injuries we’ve gotten stopping them were because we got in the way. He wouldn’t have harmed us otherwise. The rage this could trigger won’t have a target. It’ll be pure instinctive kill or be killed. None of us will be safe.”

“I’ve seen it once and it took me, Dragon, Garp, da, pops and Pai to stop it before he killed himself trying to kill us. It was after Sabo’s run in with those celestials.” Shanks continued. “Garp and Pai saw the signs and got him off Dawn but it took all that when he was still a kid. I think even with all of us we’d be unable to stop him if it happened now.”

Beckman came back in the room swiftly, face a mask. “Jinbe knows an island nearby, nami is plotting the route with Bepo and Gab.” 

“Good, come cuddle your son.” Shanks said before turning his gaze to the claimed twins. “Boys you rest, Beck and I have him now.”

“Right, just flare your haki if you need us.” Sabo said with a nod as he dragged Ace from the room fully intent on joining the napping pile Marco and Law had become beneath the shade tree. 

Law grumbled as they flopped on him, snuggling further into the soft feathers of his partner. “What did Shanks-ya say?”

“We’re heading for land for one just in case Luffy rages.” Sabo hummed as he settled in beside Ace who was already snoring and dead to the world. “We’re hoping Shanks haki will keep him calm enough to avoid that and Chopper can buy us an extra night with the sedatives to hopefully see him out of it and give Shanks a haki break if not.”

Marco hummed thoughtfully. “That's the best bet, yoi. You have never seen a Monkey D rage but I have. Garp has… wiped islands off the map. Luffy being pops blood grandson adds to his strength too.” 

Ace jerked his head up, rubbing his ear. “Sorry, what? What do you mean Luffy is Tio’s grandson!?”

“… you didn’t know?!” Marco asked after staring blankly at Ace for a few moments. “Luffy is Crocodile’s child.”

“What does that have to do with anything?!” Ace said incredulously. 

“Well you clearly know Crocodile wasn’t born as a man. Originally he was my older sister but when his mother died he had to live on the ship with the rest of us.” Marco said after another long beat. “Pops didn’t take the news that Crocodile identified as a man well, they fought Crocodile was badly hurt, Blue and Red kidnapped him from the cells and then he ran off with Dragon once he was healed.”

“Tio doesn’t care that Izou or Haruta are neither, why would he care about Crocodile wanting a sex change?!” Ace said quickly. 

“Because they’re both still men physically, yoi.” Marco sighed softly. “Trust me, none of us that were around back then like it but Pops is sexist and misogynistic to the nth degree. He was even worse back then. Women are nursemaids and cooks or they’re not on his ship. Crocodile fought against both because his mother was a frankly terrifying sniper. It’s why pops took his hand in that fight and put that scar on his face. His “pirate princess” refused to play the part he wanted and had Blue not found him, Crocodile would have wasted in that cell before submitting. You joined the crew once Pops was already dying and we were too strong to pull the same shit as when we were teens.”

“But…” Ace began only to fall dead asleep, Sabo chuckled as he laid Ace down. 

“I knew about Whitebeards true attitude but Crocodile being his child was never in the files.” Sabo said and chuckled. “But then again if Dragon did love him at some point… it explains many things.”

“At one point, but as much as he did somewhat support Crocodile’s desire to change, the feelings weren’t there after.” Marco hummed. “I think he hoped carrying Luffy would change his mind but it just solidified everything instead.”

“Mmmm…” Sabo hummed sleepily, exhaustion pulling at him again. 

“Go to sleep, Sabo, Law and I will wake you if something happens.” Marco said as he tugged at a lock of the man’s hair. 

“You're on watch birdbrain, m'nap in comfortable feathers.” Law drawled out as he tugged his hat lower and got comfortable, if that meant he shifted Ace closer then that's no one else's business. 

Marco chuckled and fluffed his feathers more, wrapping his tail around their legs and settled in, there was no need for him to keep watch, not with the way that the Strawhats prowled the ship in high alertness. Zoro sat on top of the figurehead, to the right of where Luffy would always sit and was gazing out at sea, his swords resting across his lap in preparedness, daring whatever hurt his captain to try again. 

Luffy did have a couple more episodes that shanks only just kept under control as they sailed to the new island, but he and his haki managed to hold out long enough for Chopper to use small doses of sedation to keep the young captain calm. Still the longer he remained in the pseudo comatose state the more restless everyone that loved him became. 

Brook had taken to softly playing outside the door, respecting that his captain wouldn’t want them to see him in such a state but old anxieties and fears insisted that he do something to comfort his captain. Robin even appeared with a small stack of books in her hands, her voice quite in a way that only the strawhats were intimately familiar with as she softly revealed Luffy liked being read to when he didn’t feel well. 

Nami would usually just read him the paper if he asked her but Robin specifically kept a section of their library reserved for more adventure oriented books just for when Luffy wasn’t feeling his best and wanted calm but not quiet. Law, Chopper, and Marco all had to team up more than once to get the rest of the crew to actually rest as most of them suddenly seemed to think that Luffy was doing enough sleeping for all of them.

Eventually though Gaban made his appearance dropping onto the deck of the Sunny from Momora’s back with a solid thump. He didn’t pay any attention to his brother’s squawking as he landed next to him but more respectfully on the rails as he stretched out his aching limbs from such a long flight. 

“We’re too old for this shit, Gab. We’re supposed to be retired from pirate fuckery.” Momora grunted as he cracked his joints from his fingers all the way up to his neck. “Unlike Whitebeard’s bird brat I still age at a normal rate.”

“I take offence to that, yoi.” Marco drawled as he made his way over to them, Zoro at his side. 

Gaban eyed his grandson's first mate. “Permission to board properly, Zoro?”

“Granted even though the Captain has given you blanket permission several times that you're allowed on this ship whenever.” Zoro replied dryly. 

Gaban didn't waste anymore time and strode towards where he could sense his son, his son whose haki was a wasteland of stress, panic and grief. “Has he woken up at all? Coughing? What happened? 

“Yes but not fully. He wakes up enough to panic again but he’s not here so to speak. No on the coughing, and no one knows, yoi.” Marco said in answer to the older man’s questions. 

“Captain said there was an island the Voice was insistent that we go to and he had to go on shore alone.” Zoro grunted, glaring out at the horizon at the fact he’d listened to him and let him go alone. Something had attacked his captain. He refused to believe otherwise no matter how whatever caused this was something none of them could see or sense. 

Gaban paused slightly and cast a look back to Momora whose eyes had widened. He hurried his steps as the sounds of Luffy thrashing and crying out reached his ears, Shanks desperate voice and Beckman’s low hum. 

“Da!” Shanks gasped in relief and disbelief as he looked up to see his Da's hulking figure in the doorway. “Help please, he's…” 

Gaban strode forward and pressed a hand to Luffy’s head, his haki crackling over him and sinking down into Luffy, stilling him immediately. It was the same trick he and Leigh had come up with for Roger's worst days when the Voice got too loud. Everyone in the room let out a breath of relief as Luffy settled, his haki quietening. 

“Okay, someone tell me exactly what happened.” Gaban said as he eyed the people in the room. 

“Luffy said we had to go to this unnamed island. That the Voice said it was important.” Chopper said from where he was once again checking Luffy’s vitals. “When we arrived we were ready to do like we always do for new uninhabited islands, but then Luffy said the Voice said he had to go onto the island alone. He ordered us to stay on the ship until he could find whatever it is that the world was sending him after. Then… there was a wave of Luffy’s haki that enveloped the island before it all vanished. All of a sudden he was screaming, panicking, begging for Ace and Sabo. None of us could sense him. We only found him because of the screaming.”

“… Zoro and Sanji subdued him because he was trying to hurt himself and I sedated him enough that we were able to get him back to the ship. He collapsed into this state and outside of episodes of panic he’s been completely catatonic.” Chopper said, taking a breath to calm himself. “The episodes are scary. He always tries to hurt himself and lashed out with his haki. Terrifying as they are though I’m just grateful we can sense him again. On the island it felt like someone had taken his presence and voice and locked it in a seastone box.”

Gaban and Momora froze, they knew this part of the ocean, knew what island it could be. “The island is a few days sailing right? Spring island?” 

“Yes…” Nami trailed off when she saw the look. “What is it?” 

“Did you encounter a rainbow mist?” Gaban asked again, sitting heavily on the edge of the bed.

“We did but Luffy told us to wait, once it vanished that's when he went on the island.” Nami continued, casting a glance at Robin who was just as confused.

“Da, you and tio don't look surprised, just tell us what you know, what is happening to my son!?” Shanks demanded, haki lacing his words.

Gaban sighed as he gazed at his baby, his brilliant baby who looked absolutely wrecked as he held his son close. How could he tell Shanks? He knew he had to, they all needed to know… “Get everyone, I won't repeat it twice and they deserve to know what Luffy did for them all, especially… especially Ace.”

Robin nodded, crossing her arms to summon her head in various spots of the ship to call the strawhats into the room. All too soon Sanji, Zoro, Usopp, Brook, Franky, and Jimbei trailed in with Ace and Sabo bringing up the rear from where they’d been roused from Ace’s forced nap. The lack of proper sleep had been causing all kinds of trouble for the man’s narcolepsy. 

“Da?” Ace asked with a yawn. “Robin says you know what's wrong with Lu?”

“I do.” Gaban stated with a heavy sigh, his eyes fixating on his wedding ring. “When Red and Blue were pre-teens we sent them off for a week with half the crew because Roger was told he had to head to an island, something important was to happen…”

Shanks jerked up, eyes widening. “Was that… that was when…” 

“Yes, what happened on the island is the reason I left your Pai and Pops.” Gaban explained tilting his head back and eyes closed, he seemed to age even more before their eyes. “We went through a rainbow mist and came across you Red, a year after you lost your arm.” 

“But…” Shanks trailed off, snapping his mouth shut when he saw his uncle shake his head. 

“We were going to celebrate but there was one more person we were waiting for, thought it was Coyote at first.” Gaban chuckled and remembers seeing the purple sheen in the night.

Sabo felt a sense of dread and realisation. “But it was Lu, wasn't it?” 

“It was and let me tell you, finding out that we had a grown grandson was… a trip.” Gaban chuckled but his eyes turned sad as he took off his glasses to stare at Luffy. “Except the Luffy we met was not the one you all know today. He was sadder, angrier… he told us everything.” 

“I take it that what we know and how we grew up was not what happened?” Ace asked his hand grasping Sabo’s tightly.

Momora sighed and took over as he saw Gaban flinch. “Captain went on with his hairbrained scheme… we never did find the cure for his sickness, he handed himself in. He was executed in loguetown and everything went to shit. Red and Blue was there, Rayleigh spiralled and…” 

“No, my feelings on this isn't the story.” Gaban cut off. “Ace grew up raised by Dadan and was taught at a young age he was the son of a demon, that he didn’t deserve to live. He died in Marineford, in Luffy’s arms with a thank you for loving him… Luffy ripped into us, told Leigh all he had done wrong, told Roger. Then he just, he let it all go, he was holding the mist and knew that the changes he asked us to do so his Pai and Tio, his brother, would grow up loved and happy… even if it meant he was alone.” 

“And Luffy's haki after using gear five for so long cuts off to heal. He can’t even use his observation in that state.” Chopper exclaimed with wide eyes, understanding now. “If that Luffy snapped back and couldn't sense us…”

“He thought he was alone.” Gaban said with a grim nod. “If the Luffy I helped raise in this time hates it. Imagine being taken over by the version of you that has lost every person you’d found that promised to stay. The Luffy we met on that island was raised by Makino then Ace with minimal supervision from the bandits and thought Sabo dead until he was an adult. He hadn't seen his Shanks till he was nearly twenty though he spoke with him often thanks to Blue. But he gave us many things to do and think about.” 

“What about Mamãe?” Ace asked as he latched onto whatever part of his baby brother he could. 

“Princess died hiding you, over-used her haki to delay the pregnancy for nearly two years. You were born normally this time, nearly four years older than Luffy and a year older than Sabo.” Gaban said softly. “Garp… Garp took you away from her home island after she passed holding you in her arms. He brought you to Dadan who raised you. Rayleigh… Rayleigh in that life never came back for any of us. I settled on Elbaf mostly to be as far from him as possible, and he eventually married Shakky.”

“Luffy… Luffy made sure that you had three fathers and two mothers who loved you more than any treasure in the world. He… he made sure we’d go even further and save Law’s father from his brother and that we’d know where to find Sabo after his sperm donor kidnapped him back.” Gaban said roughly. “He made us make sure that Arlong’s attempt to take over Cocoyashi would fail and that Crocodile would find Robin when she was still young enough to practically adopt her. Some things we couldn’t change but we always did everything in our power to make sure that the people we knew were Luffy’s lived as pain free as possible. Because that’s all he wanted. He wanted Nami to not know what shackles felt like and Robin to have home again so that if… if this Luffy couldn’t love you that you’d be loved so much anyway.”

“Of course he did.” Ace choked out, tears slipping free as he hid his face into his brother's stomach. 

“It’s such a Luffy thing to do…” Nami sniffled leaning into the hug Robin wrapped her in remembering how her mother had only barely survived being shot thanks to quick intervention by the man in front of her and Buggy the Clown’s doctor. “He… he’s so selfish and yet never actually thinks of himself.”

“Seems Captain has been saving us long before we knew.” Robin hummed softly. 

“Then why is Luffy like this still?” Beckman asked from the other side of his son, silver eyes dark. 

“Well if what I’m thinking happened then he was immune to the mist because his haki was controlling it and making it last much longer than it would have naturally.” Gaban said he scrubbed a hand down his face. “The Luffy that we met that night might have merged into the Luffy we’ve raised and if that’s the case he’s shut down to process 24 years of different memories and vice versa. If the screaming moments are any indication our Luffy is living the memories of the one we met. He… he didn’t live a painless life by any means.”

“Mhmm, he had thrice the amount of scars as he does now, the wound on his chest much more severe that it impacted his lungs.” Momora explained, his eyes locked on Law. 

Shanks let out a whimper at that holding his baby even closer. He shuddered to think what his son must be going through having to parse his way through two lifetime’s worth of memories. That felt like the kind of thing that could just fry someone’s brain alone let alone the added stress of Luffy’s haki still being out of whack. He whispered stories into Luffy’s ear while listening to what his Da was saying, soft ones he told him when he could still fit comfortably in his arms back on Dawn. 

How bad was his other life? The one he decided that he'd rather suffer the consequences of his changes alone with no one by his side if his most beloved treasures would be happy, wouldn't suffer. How different was his life then?

“Red, you need to take a break.” His Da's voice cut in, knocking Shanks from his thoughts to see the room was now empty.

“I can't… I've missed too many, I never got to be there… this is all I can do.” Shanks choked out, clutching his son tighter when his Da began to slowly pry his fingers away. “Da please, I cannot let him be alone.”

“Son, you need a break. I'll stay with him but you're overusing your haki and it'll hurt him when he wakes up and finds out.” Gaban soothed as he pulled his kid closer. “Go have something to eat, bathe, have a nap. I'll be here, Little Red won't be alone, Ace, Bo and those husbands of his are going to dog pile him.”

“We’ll take care of Lu.” Ace huffed, bodily picking up Shanks from the bed and throwing him at Beckman. “Go sleep.”

Shanks squirmed but Beckman held tight, he too didn't wish to take another step further away from his son but he knew Gaban was correct in the fact his husband needed a break. It hurt to see their lively kid so still and crying out for them and those he loved. 

“Beck.” Shanks rasped the moment he stepped into their cabin and closed the door, placing his husband on the bed where a tray of food Sanji had prepared waiting.

“Eat love, you haven't eaten or slept in days.” Beck murmured softly as he locked the door. “He’s alright, Gaban has him, your Da's haki is strong remember.”

“But he’s mine to look after, ours.” Shanks said tiredly scrubbing at his eyes. 

“He is, but that doesn’t mean we can neglect ourselves.” Beckman said gently. “You’re exhausted, love, and we need to get some rest. Imagine if Luffy woke up to you in the state you’re in now? He’d never forgive himself even though he had no control over what happened and he’ll hide if he’s in pain if he’s worried about us.”

Shanks is sighed, hand coming up to clutch at his left arm. Law had done an amazing job giving it back to him but still, the loss of it, the reason behind it made it ache fiercely, especially so when his son was hurt and he was either too slow or too far to help him. How selfish was his otherself, no, not selfish… how much of a coward was he? 

How could he see his son suffer so and do nothing? They were Ocean Blessed, a gift, who was he then to squander that?

“Shanks, enough.” Beckman sighed as he pressed his forehead against Shanks’. “There is no use in agonising over a Shanks you don't even know or are.”

“I did such a piss poor job he wanted to change everything.” Shanks whimpered. 

“You heard Gaban, he wanted to change everything so the people he loved didn’t suffer as much.” Beck said sternly. “The you he was trying to save went through seas only knows what that we know nothing about because Luffy did what he did. That’s him being stubborn like you.”

“But!” Shanks tried to exclaim only to yelp as his husband flicked his ear. “Owww.”

“And he isn't just your son remember, he is Benn D Luffy, I am just as much to blame if that's the case.” Beckman sighed as he took a seat, pointedly looking at the food at Shanks' elbow. “Now eat and then bathe, you smell so bad love I'm shocked it didn’t wake our son up.” 

Shanks grumbled but stood to start removing his clothes. “Join me? It’s been a long time since I washed your hair for you.”

“You washed it for me just last week love.” Beckman chuckled but got up and undressed. “Eat up, if you're a good boy then perhaps I can be persuaded to help relieve some tension and stress.”

Shanks never ate faster in his life.

--x--

Shanks woke to a scream and a wave of haki so strong the entire ship rocked with the blast, he was up and out the door as shattering wood followed the noise. Clouds rolled in as thunder and lightning cracked across the sky, illuminating Luffy who tore off into the forest with Gaban, Ace and Sabo following suit. With only a panicked glance at his husband, Shanks dove into the forest after his son. 

“ANCHOR!” Shanks cried out as he broke through the clearing. 

“DUCK!” Ace yelled his own conquerors haki crackling across the area as Luffy spun and launched a tree right at the group of them. It passed harmlessly through Ace thanks to his fruit but the rest quickly dropped to the ground to let the massive oak fly overhead. 

“What the fuck happened?!” Shanks snapped as he clambered back to his feet. 

“Luffy woke up and chose violence.” Sabo sassed, catching a boulder that soon crumbled under his Dragon’s Grip. 

Gaban sliced through another tree that was heading for him while Beckman kicked the boulder away heading for Shanks. There was a rumbling snarl tearing through Luffy as he backed away but fought them.

“Get away! You won't get past me!” Luffy snarled, haki cracking like a whip.

“Anchor stop its us!” Shanks roared back, unleashing his entire haki. “Son come back!”

“Stay back!” Luffy snarled eyes hazy and wild as he bared his teeth at the group and let his haki rage. “I won’t let you hurt them! None of them! They’re mine!”

“Benn D Luffy you come back to us right this instant or I will have Makino not make you anymore crocodile stew!” Beckman’s voice boomed across the field as he let out a threat he used often. “So help me Anchor, I will do it, now come back to your mãe and Da!” 

“But they have tio! Torao!” Luffy gnashed his teeth but they could all see the clarity coming back in his eyes. “No… no this… this isn't right… gone, they're all gone… alone again…”

“You’re not alone.” Beck said carefully, gentling his voice without losing the stern tone that was bringing Luffy back as he carefully approached his son. “Look around Anchor. Ace and Sabo are here, me and Shanks, even your Jiji Gaban is here. Your Torao and Birdie are back on the Sunny with the rest of your crew. We’re all here, kid, I just need you to calm down and come back with us.”

“It’s real, Luz de sol,” Ace choked out. “We’re real. I know it’s hard to believe it, baby brother, your mind has probably shown you a lot of really scary stuff but we’re here.”

“No!” Luffy snapped hands coming up to tangle in his hair. “You’re dead! Bo is dead! You promised me you wouldn’t die and you left me anyway!  You all left! Everyone leaves! I… I have no one…” 

“No, you saved us!” Sabo shouted back surging forward and pulling his brother into a hug against the warning of the others. “You saved us Luffy and found us, we chose you like we always do. We made a promise remember, we didn't break it.” 

“But you did… you did.” Luffy choked out as he latched onto his brother. 

“I… I know, otoutou.” Ace choked out as he slammed into the hug for himself. “But you changed it, okay? You changed everything and we all still found you anyway.”

“You didn't fight! You didn't! I was weak and useless and you died because of it!” Luffy snarled angrily. “You died because of me and then thanked me for loving you like loving you isn’t easy!” 

He took a deep breath, fury in his face and brokenness in his voice. “Then Bo came back two years later… he took your fruit and I didn't see him for several more years… why wasn't I enough… why!?”

“Because we’re stupid that’s not on you, Lu.” Sabo said as he cupped his brother's face. “You’ve always been enough, Luffy. You’re our everything, little brother.”

“I just don’t want to be alone… Dòi.” Luffy whimpered haki cracking around him again. 

“I know… I know it hurts, Lulu.” Ace said as he started carding his hands through Luffy’s hair. “We won’t make the same mistakes this time. We've got you.”

A sob tore through Luffy as he collapsed, words leaving him as he buried his face into Ace's stomach while latching onto his brothers. “You left! You all left me! You swore!”

“It’s okay, Anchor.” Shanks soothed as he joined the pile. “We’re going to be better this time, you made sure of it.”

“Please don’t leave me again, please! I promise I'll be good, please… mãe… mãe… I'll be good, I swear.” Luffy sobbed. 

“I’ve got you.” Shanks said as he hugged Luffy to his chest. “You don’t need to change anything, Anchor. You’re perfect just like you are and always have been. You’re my kid, mine. Nothing is ever going to change that.”

The world Luffy came back into was one of confusion and agony, his body ached differently, he could breathe better but it still felt like Chopper had drugged him good. He could sense his mãe and Da, could feel Sabo close as well as Gaban but there was an unfamiliar voice… no it wasn't unfamiliar, it was familiar in a way he had felt what seemed so long ago.

“Ace… Ace…” Luffy keened, haki crackling across his skin as he reached for his brother. 

Ace went easily letting Luffy crush him against his chest as the younger man sobbed into his hair. How could the other him ever think he wasn’t loved if this is how it still affected Luffy? It was more than just practically raising him too because while it had always been the three of them against the world, they did have adults that actually gave a damn about them this time. From how Gaban spoke they weren’t so lucky before. 

“I’m here. I’m here, Lu.” Ace said firmly as he wrapped his arms around Luffy as best he could with Shanks still holding his little brother. “You saved me, Lulu.”

Luffy felt his haki fluctuating as he tried to wrap it around his precious treasures, trying to wrap his mind around what was him. Two lifetimes of memories, Roger alive, Roger dead, sabo saved and years of supposed death… so many… his eyes flickered up and peaked through the gap in his mãe's arms and Ace.

“Jiji has no scars.” He rasped in awe, though the look turned sad. “But… no Roger, no… jiji Rayleigh?”

“Roger can’t sail for more than a couple of days at a time, little Red. He definitely can’t handle a nearly week long flight on Momora’s chicken back.” Gaban said as he dropped a heavy hand on Luffy’s head, crouching to be eye level with his most precocious brat. And that was saying something since they’d raised the original Red from diapers. 

Luffy blinked surprised. “Roger’s alive?”

“Still alive, and I’m still on husband terms with them both a solid 99% of the time. Rouge is still annoying the living hell out of him too.” Gaban chuckled. “Your harebrained, incredibly stupid, and dangerous plan worked, Little Red. You changed everything.”

Luffy sagged heavily in the arms that held him. “Good… good… you listened?”

“We listened. We faked Roger’s death and settled on Dawn. Got a little house in that cove on the far coast. Finished raising Red and Blue there, later Ace, Sabo, and you.” Gaban hummed. “Shakky and Princess run the bar Roger’s sister started. Makino had a bounty hunting phase. Arlong got his ass beat seven ways to Sunday when he stepped foot on your little navigator’s village. He tried again when you set out and you handled that one. Robin essentially got adopted by your Baba. You and the boys all treat her like an older sister. We listened, kid, and we made sure everyone that was yours still would be while we were at it.”

“Since when do you call Pai, ‘Roger’.” Shanks, Ace, and Sabo all said with wrinkled noses. 

“It sounds wrong.” Sabo huffed. 

“I need to sanitize my ears, that feels nasty.” Ace said with a shudder. 

“Never do that again.” Shanks grumbled with a shudder of his own. 

Luffy frowned, shaking his head confused. “I… I always called him Roger… no that… seems wrong… vovô?” 

“Luffy, what do you remember? Are you our Luffy or the Before?” Gaban asked softly, striking dread into everyone's hearts. 

Luffy hummed as he brought a hand up to his head, fingers stilling before he clenched his hand and dropped it. His memories were still hazy, but several things around him confused him even more. His jiji was here and happy, his big brothers were alive but… but his pai had both his arms. 

Was he still even theirs without the blessing? Was he a Monkey again and not a Benn? No, Jiji called him Little Red but if his mãe had both arms why? Even Luffy knew you needed to sacrifice blood and something important to be bound as tightly as they were. He was too cowardly to check, Luffy loved the fact he and Shanks shared the same hair colour, that Shanks claim on him was so vibrant even when he never got to see his mãe.

“Both?…” Luffy murmured confusedly as he dug his fingers into his arms to fight the urge to check his hair. “I… I… I don’t know… ev-everything is still fuzzy… an my head hurts… Idon’tknowIdon’tknowIdon’tknow!”

“Hey, hey, Lulu, it's okay, take it easy little brother.” Sabo whispered as he pried Luffy’s fingers away from his arms and squeezed them. “Take a breath for me, okay? Good, tell your big brother what's wrong.”

Luffy shooks his head frantically at that biting back the whine the action caused as he tried to free his hands. He needed the pressure… if he squeezed Sabo’s hands he’d break them and Sabo needed his hands to fight like Dragon. He couldn’t hurt them… couldn’t be a bother, a burden… if he asked for too much, needed too much, they’d leave. They always leave. The only one he didn’t have to hold back all the time with was Birdie cause Marco’s pain tolerance damn near matched his and he could heal himself without a second thought. He’d only hurt himself if he used haki and he hadn’t done that… had he?

“Luffy?” Sabo urged gently, keeping hold of Luffy’s hands even when he pulled hard enough to make his wrists start stretching. “C’mon little brother, we can’t help if you don’t tell us what’s going on in that head of yours.”

“Let go! Don’ wanna hurt Bo!” Luffy choked out, breathing becoming erratic.

“You’re not going to hurt me, Luffy. You never have.” Sabo soothed gently. “You know how to control your strength even in a panic.”

“I don’t know my strength right now! Everythin’s different! I’m different!” Luffy pleaded, trying to tug his hands free still. “Please… can’t… can’t hurt Bo’s hands…”

“Ah!” Beckman understood immediately and nudged Sabo out of the way. “Alright Anchor, you know you won't break my hands, you can't. Hold onto me and tell us what's wrong.”

Luffy latched onto his Da eagerly the moment Sabo let go of his hands. His Da was safe, hands could break mountains and stop one of Gramps' cannonballs barehanded, he knew his Da could withstand Luffy’s strength, has been his entire life when he could barely control it when he was seven. 

“Everything is confusing, there's too much… too loud… wrong and right!” Luffy choked out, language shifting between Grand and Eastern. “Too much change…”

“You’ve been through a lot, Anchor.” Beck said gently matching the strength Luffy was putting out as he squeezed down on his hands. “You don’t have to make sense of everything now. That’s our bad we shouldn’t have dumped so much on you at once coming out of what was essentially a coma and a severe panic attack. Would you rather go back to Sunny? Rest for a while more? I’m sure those doctor husbands of yours would love to see for themselves that you’re alright.”

Luffy shook his head. “No Sunny… I don't want the crew to see me and I can't… I can't look at them yet, not… not till I can tell when from when. I don't even know… I feel wrong… off… scared. Alone.”

“You’re not alone, Kiddo. Gaban at the very least is the same you met on that island so he knows. Your Shanks and me aren’t going anywhere and neither are your brothers.” Beck hummed. “Do you think having Shanks cover you with his haki would help? Like we did when you were little and the Voice got too loud? Gaban could help too. Even if your memories are jumbled your body knows and recognizes him from when you were growing up. Just tell us what you need.”

Luffy nodded even though he went to touch his hair again, only to latch onto his Da harder. He couldn't feel the familiar weight of his Hat on his head or on his back… nor could he see his hair colour being held as he was. His mãe‘s haki washed over him without hesitation, followed by his jiji and that of his brothers… Ace's hurt in a way that was good, because it meant he was alive, he didn't fail…

“Is that better?” Beckman asks gently, squeezing Luffy’s hands tighter for a moment to make sure he was still at least mostly present. Luffy had always been prone to dissociation when the Voice of the world got loud even when it hurt him his son couldn’t help but try to listen to everything it said until he was blocking out the physical world to curb the overstimulation on instinct if they didn’t catch and stall it with their haki soon enough. “A bit easier to think or do you need more time to just sit with it? There’s no rush.”

There was because even at this distance he could feel how the crews and his son’s husbands were worried sick and his observation wasn’t nearly as sensitive as Ace’s or Gaban’s. Luffy himself would feel it if he had any actual control of his haki right now. That in and of itself was jarring because Luffy had always been a natural with his haki once it was properly awakened and not just stressed induced from his Rages. The only thing he’d had to be taught was his armament before he realized he’d been subconsciously using it to a degree just to eat and not be a puddle as he adapted to the stretchiness of his body. 

Still none of them would be moving from the clearing Luffy had created until he decided he was ready. Forcing him out would just result in either more panic that he didn’t need or for him to just fully shut down and go quiet. A quiet Luffy when it wasn’t for mischievous purposes was just too jarring for any of their frazzled mentalities to risk adding it on top of the pain of seeing their walking sun so out of sorts and scared. 

“Your hat is safe Lulu, Torao has it well guarded and Marco won't let anyone or thing near them.” Ace reassured as he saw his brother's hand twitch towards his head again. 

Realisation flooded Shanks as he saw and felt the slight head shake chuckling slightly as he reached up to tug at the locks. “Still red, Anchor, nothing has changed, you're still my son.”

“Shanks, your arm…” Luffy whined softly hand brushing the still intact limb. 

“Oh, your pet still ate it.” Shanks deadpanned. “But Da had rescued Rosi and your husband with a thing for anatomy theft by then. He used his Fruit to get it out and fixed me up. The Ocean still blessed us, kiddo, I promise.”

“Corasan lived? Good… good… torao deserved to have his special person.” Luffy breathed out in relief.

“Mm, he lives on Syrup now I believe. We didn’t want him so close as to have Senny pop in for a visit and discover Pai.” Shanks hummed as he gently ran his fingers through Luffy’s hair. 

“Syrup? Not with Tio Kuri?” Luffy asked, heart dropping. 

“They’ve met and are together but kept it secret until Doflamingo and Big Mom were handled a couple years back.” Ace laughed. “They’re planning his move now but he’d been helping Kaya while she recovered fully from the long time poisoning that cat dude did.”

Luffy grinned, it was a small brittle thing but honest and relieved. “Good, glad… am glad.” 

“You should rest some more, Little Red. We can camp out here til you’re ready to face everyone at the ships but maybe some more sleep will help you differentiate the memories more.” Gaban said gently. 

Shanks shuddered a little at the prospect of camping out on the dirt but said nothing when his son nodded. He would do anything for his kid, even sleep on dirt though he would loathe it entirely.

“Good, I’ll go raid the ships for stuff to keep Rayleigh jr out of the dirt. One emotional kid is enough for me tonight.” Gaban said as he stood from his crouched position with a groan and a big stretch. 

“Da!” Shanks whined earning a soft snicker from his son.

“… you can complain if you don’t tear up dusting yourself off after holding Little Red on the ground this long.” Gaban deadpanned even as he passed one of his axes to Sabo. “You’re on firewood duty. I know better than to trust the pyro with my axes.”

“It was one time!” Ace whined. “And it wasn’t even your fighting axes! It was a regular throwing hatchet!”

Sabo grabbed the axes before his twin could intercept. “I'll get the firewood Da, Shanks can stay here with Lulu and keep him wrapped in his haki blanket.”

Gaban nodded and got up leaving his brats to get things done while he headed back to the ships. His entire body slumped in grief before shaking it off and stepping out into the awaiting crews. “Luffy is awake  but confused. He needs time to settle himself and something we will explain further once he has settled.”

“Is there anything we can do Gaban-san?” Robin asked desperately.

“Just give him some space, let him settle. He knows Law and Marco are safe here and has his hat, he knows you're all safe. If you can gather a few things of comfort for us to camp out and enough food to feed a ravenous D plus my other bottomless pits I would be grateful.” Gaban continued.

He wasn’t surprised when the strawhats scattered to go do as he asked. He was even less surprised when his grandson’s husbands remained. 

“Does he need to be examined?” Law said once the crew was well out of earshot. 

“No. He’s a bit scraped up but we got him settled before he tried fighting anyone.” Gaban said softly. “He didn’t slip into a rage but he’s scattered enough that he can't control his haki. I don’t think his observation has come back yet but he’s been too busy with the other panic to focus on anything but what he can see.”

“Severe panic attack?” Law asked seriously and cursing when Gaban nodded. “Let me get some medication for him then, it's designed for him. He was due for it. It's why I have it because Chopper-ya was busy.” 

“Thank you, again.” Gaban replied in relief. “I may take a snail with me, he might do good to hear you and feathers there, he was panicked about Rosi.” 

Law frowned. “About Cora-san? Why?” 

Gaban gave him a look, a weighted look. “Because remember when I arrived, I said family sent me, someone who warned me? It was Luffy, the other Luffy.”

“Luffy sent you after us?!” Law exclaimed shock clear on his features. “I never even told him what island that happened on this time I doubt a more traumatized version of myself would have either.”

“… Nami and Robin had unrestricted access to all of Doflamingo’s files in Dressrosa.” Marco offered up. “I feel like a bastard like him absolutely would have kept some record of that day.”

“You’ll have to ask him, another time, once his memories and mind settles.” Gaban said sternly. “I am sure he will tell you everything.” 

“Of course.” Law scoffed, looking offended that the old man thought he’d be grilling his husband in his current mental state. Marco rolling his eyes earned him a middle finger from Law as he used shambles to summon a bottle of pills into his hand. “Here’s his medicine. No more than two or you’ll essentially be dealing with a very high Lu-ya that doesn’t know how to keep himself solid.”

“Sounds like you’re talking from experience.” Gaban deadpanned. 

“How do you think we figured out two was his limit?” Law said with a raised eyebrow though a smirk tugged at his lips. “That was a fun day.” 

“For you, yoi.” Marco sighed rubbing his temple. “Not for me or Chopper.” 

“It is not my fault that our husband, when high, also wants to be high up and because you have wings you were being chased by a floppy rubber man.” Law said with a grin. 

Marco shot his husband a deadpan stare. “Some days I wonder what I did to deserve such cruel husbands, yoi.” 

“Love you too.” Law chuckled, stepping aside as the strawhats began reappearing with the things Gaban had asked for. 

“Glad I knew where Luffy hides the furs he keeps from his hunts.” Chopper chirped as he scampered up in his human like form. “Between these and Ace and Luffy being human furnaces, everybody should stay nice and warm! Franky is looking for the hammocks too since Shanks hates sleeping on the ground!”

Gaban sighed exasperated as everyone chuckled, including his sons crew. “I swear to Davy Jones and back, of all the things he had to acquire from Leigh it had to be his distaste for dirt. But thank you kids, I’ll make sure to keep you all informed and i’ll tell my brat of a grandson you send your regards.” 

By the time Gaban got back with the food and the furs, it dawned on him that he didn't have to carry everything back nor did he have to run back, Law could have shambled him here and it would have been quick and easy. A groan left him at the thought he had a youngling sneak one past him. “Little Red, that husband of yours is petty, I swear to all the seas, making an old man run and carry everything.

Luffy chuckled softly, still curled up in Shanks’ arms, hands gripping Beckman tightly. “What did you say to Birdie that upset him then?” 

“I called him feathers, you know he was the sensible one of the lot! Never would I think he would betray an old friend like that!” Gaban exclaimed in mock offense and wounded. 

“Birdie hates when people make jokes about his fruit.” Luffy said with a shrug. 

Gaban shot his grandson a look. “I have been calling him that since he was a tyke, it was the one approved name I got. I stay impressed he lets you call him Birdie. That brat once waited til Roger was drunk to drop kick him off the ship for that!” 

“Ah, Torao just likes being a gremlin like that then. He doesn’t like when others call us by nicknames though.” Luffy giggled. “Being possessive is like the only D trait he has and Birdie is ours.”

“It really isn’t the only D trait,” Gaban grumbled to himself before tossing the medicine over to his son. “Make sure Little Red takes two, and only two. Unless you want to deal with him high and liquid while trying to balance himself. Ace, Sabo! You better have brought back fire wood and hunts in recompense for making me carry this back myself.” 

Luffy took the meds knowing that Torao had been the one to give them to his jiji and upsetting LAw right now would be a bad thing, he knew his husband was worried and both of them were upset that they couldn’t join him and see for themselves he was alright… but Luffy knew he wasn’t alright, his haki still lashed out, his mind struggled to find what was then and what is now. 

His gaze tracked Ace greedily, seeing his brother alive and though he had a scar across his back and side… Luffy couldn’t exactly remember how. 

He hated that. Hated that the before and all it’s trauma and pain were so fresh in his head that he could barely remember now. They were still there. He was still the same Luffy and he knew that if only for the absence of a few more noticeable scars. He hated that he could remember holding Ace’s dying body, a hole punched clean through him knew what it felt like for his big brothers blood to scald his skin, but he couldn’t bring forward the memory of the scars his brother bore now. 

Chopper and his husbands would probably say it’s his brain’s way of protecting him so he can process things without being entirely overwhelmed, but if you asked Luffy he was pretty fucking overwhelmed anyway. The new memories being at the forefront made his whole body feel wrong. Let alone the fact that he couldn’t focus his haki to sense his crew. All he knew for sure was what was right in front of him. 

How was he supposed to protect his treasures like this?!

“Anchor, breathe.” Beck’s voice and a haki coated squeeze to his hands brought him back again. His gaze instinctively darted around to find his brothers, to be sure they hadn’t left, before he registered his parents and grandpa once more. 

Shanks shushed him, hand combing through sweat soaked hair. “You need to breathe our little prince, all is well and your treasures are here. Do you know what’s happening or do you need for us to walk you through it?” 

“I’ve got it.” Luffy snarled, all his instincts screaming at being caught at having slipped again, before he grimaced hands gripping onto his Da’s as he quickly calmed the flash of anger that had nearly overwhelmed him. He hated being seen like this, hated that he needed this much comfort to keep the rage at bay so he didn’t hurt who he was supposed to protect. “Sorry… sorry.”

“You don’t need to apologise Anchor,” Shanks murmured as he shifted to pull his son back onto the nest his Da finally finished making, getting them all comfortable. “It’s been awhile since we have laid like this huh? Not too big or old for your silly Mãe and Da to cuddle with you hmm?” 

“I don’t turn down cuddles.” Luffy huffed tiredly as the medicine from Law finally started to kick in. Already he could feel himself softening, though thankfully not so much he couldn’t control his own limbs, and the world’s edges with it. It was easier to stay calm in this state. 

Beckman huffed a laugh and chuffed at him. “Thank the seas for that, we missed our cuddle time with you, your Shanks pouts every time we see your brothers and they brag to us. Your Tio even called Shanks to brag not long ago about his cuddle time.” 

“Tio doesn’t have to run off to help his fleet every time I try to visit.” Luffy pointed out as his head lolled tiredly against Shanks shoulder. 

Shanks groaned. “It was one time!” 

“Is… real right?” Luffy asked softly, hesitantly and scared after a long moment, his eyes going distant but tracking Ace, grief heavy in his Voice.

Ace bounded over in an instant and curled around what he could of his brother, bringing his hand up to cover his heart. “It’s real Lulu, I'm alive, I swear it on the hat.”

“How?” Luffy asked as he touched the scars across Ace's side.

Ace grimaced and looked down, away, in shame. That day was one of the worst days of his life, seeing his brother battered and bruised, Akainu about to kill him… he had shielded his brother the best he could only for Luffy to tug him away… Sabo tackling them both but they all got hurt, Lu worst of all.

“Sabo tackled us just as you yanked me away, instead of a death blow… It took me a year to heal properly, two for you.”

“It actually connected with you.” Sabo sighed as he joined the pile while Gaban cooked. It was the easiest way to make sure Luffy had the pressure that calmed him when he panicked while Beck rigged hammocks together to make one big enough for three grown men. “A glancing blow sure, but still a hit. Ace and I mostly got hit with the splatter. Doubly so for Ace when I swiped Akainu’s knees out with my pipe.”

“I had enough strength to pull you?” Luffy asked with a furrowed brow. “I didn't go through impel down?” 

Everyone stiffened at that, their eyes locking on Luffy with horror, Ace's face paling as he stared at his baby brother and thought of all the things that could have happened to his brother in impel down. 

“No… Sabo and you arrived together… Lu, did… did you go through Impel Down in the before?” Ace asked thickly.

“… yeah? That’s why I’m so immune to poisons and stuff. I fought that guy here too, didn't I?” Luffy said with a tilt of his head. 

Gaban’s head snapped around in pure shock and rage. “Magellan? How did you survive!?” 

“Uhh… Iva? They injected me with something…” Luffy shrugged.

Sabo stiffened, jaw clenching tight. “What was the price Lu?”

“Huh? Oh, that. Ten years but I made them give me two more doses during the actual war too so probably more by the time it was all over and done with.” Luffy said with a shrug like it was spare belli he spent not years off his lifespan. “Anything for Ace. I’d have done the same if it was you on that platform too.”

Sabo snarled furiously and low, burying gripping Luffy. “We are taking you to Law now.” 

“It won't change anything Bo.” Luffy sighed and pulled his hands back from his brothers as carefully as he could. “The before me… I think it's just the memories that shifted over, my body feels wrong to me now.”

Ace felt his world collapse around him as his brother's words echoed over and over, his most precious treasure, the other half of him that saved his soul and life… the person he kept living for besides Bo… Luffy gave up years… 

“If it was everything I’d have a lot more scars than you’re used to.” Luffy hummed prodding his side where he should have scars from his fight with Katakuri. Guess he didn’t get stabbed with the trident this time. “I feel… less pained? I don’t hurt as much and I can breathe better. Like stuff still hurts for sure, my head is killing me, but nothing like what the memories say I should feel like?” 

“We can discuss all this later okay Anchor, for now you need to eat and then sleep.” Shanks hummed as he pinned his Da with a look. “Seems Sanji made you a feast.”

“Shishishi, he always stress cooks when I’m down more than a day.” Luffy hummed as he stretched and poked his stomach when it let out a ravenous growl. “I am starving though… the last memory I have is fighting Roger for the last meat pie and can't remember when this body ate.”

Gaban brought over the bundle of food that Sanji had prepared knowing it wouldn’t be enough, it would for a regular D or Luffy coming off a fight but not for this instance. He had a sneaky suspicion his brat grandson never let on how ravenous he was after a haki depletion much like Roger, always making sure there was food for the crew. 

“Snack on this to start.” Gaban huffed as he set the bundle of food down next to Luffy. “The game the brats brought back is cooking but if that’s not enough I can go have your little pet fetch a wild sea king. You are going to actually eat until you’re really full, no saying you’ve had enough to spare for others even if it means eating everything here. Trust me there’s enough game that no one will go hungry.  I’m sure Red’s cook has been doing some stress cooking of his own.”

Luffy frowned at his jiji, head cocking to the side. His head was aching once more, a overlay of scarring that was no longer there but should be? No, it shouldn’t. He could see laughlines all over his jiji’s face, ones that weren’t there last time, a smile tugging at his lips even if he was worried. His eyes gazed down at the food as he slowly ate, when was the last time he actually ate till he was full? 

Not since Dawn, he was pretty sure about that or Whole Cake? He ate his fill on sweets but that wasn’t food made by those he trusted and cared for, who put all their love into making it. Most of the time if he was still hungry and they were docked he just went hunting while his crew slept, or at sea King would pop up with treats for him to indulge his craving for something raw. 

“Anchor, eat.” Shanks said sternly. “Da is right, you need to eat and properly. Please.” 

“We can get enough food Lu, you know we can.” Sabo replied soft as he saw his brother hesitate. “No one will go hungry, I'll even go with King to get you some sea king if needed.” 

Luffy bit at his lips but nodded, inhaling the food at a rapid pace, Gaban just chuckling as he handed over more cooked food from Sanji, Lucky and even Law while the hunts cooked. Though worry churned as everyone watched Luffy eat, watching as he never expanded like normal just stayed the same showing how ravenous he truly was. The guilt in his eyes hurt a bit when Luffy did in fact softly ask for not just one but two sea kings and Gaban knew full well that he’d be eating both. 

None of them thought Luffy starved himself by any means and as much as he did eat a lot and steal food during meals they had all witnessed how that didn’t truly start until the people around him had already eaten their usual amount. Luffy may have been teasingly known as someone who couldn’t share but he made sure no one around him went without even if it meant he went with less than he actually needed. 

“Can… can Sanji make some of my shakes too?” Luffy asked while the majority of the sea kings cooked after he’d eagerly devoured a large portion raw. “He and Chopper came up with some to help how much my fruit burns through…”

Sabo wrung his gloves and shirt with a nod but Ace was already launching himself towards the Sunny with a fierce determined look. Sabo knew he would need to speak with his twin later knowing that what their little brother had said so far was eating away at him. 

“He’s overthinking again.” Luffy huffed softly as he gnawed on a bone. “None of you have to feel bad about things that happened to a different version of me. This me had it a lot easier. Worrying about my current state I get but it’s not like you can change the other me’s life story. You already did that technically.”

“You know what Ace is like, his anxiety gets the best of him.” Sabo explained as he handed over what was left of his meal, full already. 

“Don't worry, I'll have a chat with him later. Of all the things he could have gotten from Rouge it was her anxiety.” Gaban muttered to himself. “But Roger and Leigh should be calling soon, do you wish to speak with them Little Red?”

“Shishishi, sure!” Luffy chirped. “Feels like forever since I talked to Roger and Rayleigh!”

A shadow passed over Gaban’s face, remembering that night so long ago where this kid called his husbands by their name and not any family relation. He hoped that would pass once everything settled, for his other kids sake with the way they cringed every time it was said. 

Luffy was exhausted, starving and confused. Everything ached still, but now that he could focus a bit better he felt a little over stretched, like he was in Gear 5 longer than he should. Was he though? Was he still holding on to the mist? But no, this wasn't even the right island but still, it would explain the memories.

Gaban watched as a look of irritation crossed over his grandson’s face as the man looked down at his clothes and even stretched a lock of his hair down to see that it was indeed still red. “Belli for your thoughts, kid?”

“… I’m trying to figure out why I feel like I’m in gear five despite clearly not being in it.” Luffy said bluntly after a moment. “Nika hasn’t even said anything since I woke up but I can still feel him so he has to still be resting from me holding the mist.”

Shanks blinked, giving his husband a confused look before looking at his kid. “Nika?”

“… I haven’t fought with you as Nika?” Luffy asked incredulously. “You’re like the only person that’s even half a challenge since I beat Kaidou. Tio Kuri is always too busy. That and it’s less fun to fight him when we both have super strong future sight.”

“No kid, we haven't fought, not even after you became King.” Shanks confessed with raised brows. 

“But then what about our promise?” Luffy asked confused.

“What promise?” Shanks had a bad feeling. 

“… you said you wouldn’t stay away once I was strong enough to fight you…” Luffy said softly. “I even had Zoro teach me swords since Hawky won’t fight… oh… right Torao fixed your arm so he probably still fights you… don’t worry about it, Mamãe, I’m just mixed up still. The other you must have said that.”

Shanks felt his stomach drop and heart breaking in his chest, rage at himself, the other self roaring right after. Just was he a reason his son was this way? How broken was he that he hurt his kid like that? His most precious of gifts and treasures. 

“Kid, if you want to spar we can spar but I'd hate myself if I even hurt you on accident.” Shanks choked out. “You always offered and wanted to but I can never bring myself to do. Just how… what was the promise exactly?” 

“That I would return Hat to you the moment I became a great pirate.” Luffy confessed. “Didn't see you after that till I was in my twenties? We spoke often after Blue saved me when I dropped from the Balloons gramps tied me to.”

“… still think y’all should have let me give that monkey bastard the Celestial treatment.” Gaban grumbled from his spot by the fire. “I let a lot slide cause both Roger and Makino backed it up as stuff he needed to manage his instincts but that was too far.”

Beckman grit his teeth at that, pulling his kid closer. “I would have let you, would have gladly joined you.” 

“I'm okay Da, jiji…” Luffy said softly, tired. “This me had it much better… thank you… for listening.”

“Of course, Little Red, no, thank you,” Gaban said fiercely. “Now rest okay, do you need more food?” 

Ace came barging back at that moment with a heavy sack over his shoulder and a cooler. “Sanji made more protein-rich foods for you Lulu and some shakes.”

“Thanks!” Luffy chirped as he forced a smile. It was getting harder to hide how much his head was killing him, the throbbing was moving behind his eyes now. Still he couldn’t worry them even more. If he did they’d never stop looking at him with so much guilt. 

Instead he dug in the cooler for one of the shakes, his headaches were a common enough occurrence when he was haki exhausted that Sanji used ingredients to help so he didn’t have to have Chopper give him the real medication all the time. The fact that they helped him not feel hungry all the time was just a bonus. 

“Can I just drink this and sleep some more?” Luffy asked with a tilt of his head. He’d force himself to stay up longer if that’s what his family needed to trust that he was okay. “I can finish eating after a nap. You all need food too.”

Beckman shot everyone a glare before chuffing awkwardly at his kid. “Of course Anchor, you need to recover and let your mind settle.” 

Luffy nodded and drank his smoothie without tasting it, curling up in his mamãe and Da's arms like he did when he was a kid. They hadn't left him yet, they hadn’t let go but they would have to soon… they always had to, the ocean called to them too heavily and had other responsibilities than just him. He didn’t want them to leave, didn't want his brothers to leave him again… his head hurt and he knew he needed more rest but if he slept then this dream would end…

It would only hurt more if he kept dragging things out though, he knew that. So instead he tucked his face against Shanks’ neck and let the exhaustion overwhelm him until everything went black once more. 

When Luffy woke up next it was loud, so very loud. He could Hear again, the sea, the trees, all the voices, haki flaring bright in his mind's eye. It was agony, it was relief. But no matter how glad he was to have his senses back to normal the sharp stabbing pain in his head caused him to let out a whine as he covered his ears. 

“Shhh kid, it's okay, I got you.” Shanks’ voice whispered as his haki laid over him like it did when he was little. 

The voices quietened quickly but his head still ached fiercely, a full blown migraine that Luffy knew Chopper wasn't able to help with. Nausea bubbled up and he couldn’t help but gag slightly, teeth clenching tight. This was why he hated haki exhaustion so much. Knowing he needed to eat to recover yet feeling sick to his stomach at the thought. 

“What do you need, kiddo?” Beck murmured as quietly as he could. He carefully ran his hands through his son's hair taking the time to gently work out all the knots and snarls. “How can we help?”

“Need to eat to get better but feel sick,” Luffy whined softly. “I hate haki exhaustion.”

“Want one of us to get Chopper for some medicine Lu?” Ace asked worried. 

“Won’t help…” Luffy whined and gagged again. “Passes just sucks at first.”

Ace hummed and stood up. “Im getting Marco then.”

“You don’t have to.” Luffy hummed, holding his head as he sat up. “But since I know you won’t listen and he and Law will show up later regardless of how I’d rather none of you see me like this, you might as well. Ask Sanji to make his soup though, he’ll know the one. Knowing him he’s already got it cooked since it’s the easiest thing to get down until this passes enough for me to eat normally.”

There was silence as Luffy let out another whine,  pain lancing through him as the world violently shifted under him like the sea in a storm. He knew it wasn't just haki exhaustion, knew that it was two lifetimes worth of memories trying to settle and make sense. Frankly, Luffy didn't know which Luffy he was, the one from before or the one after the changes.

Soon enough the familiar prickle of Torao's fruit washed over him, followed by hurried footsteps and utter relief as his birdies flames sunk into him. A soft moan escaped him as the pain vanished and the voices settled, mind clearing in an instant. 

“Better Sunflower?” Marco asked softly as he ran his fingers through sweat soaked hair. 

“Mhmm much, thank you Birdie.” Luffy slurred as he pushed himself up and out of his parents hold. “I think mainly what hurts is the memories trying to… settle… I'm confused… is it alright if we sit and i ask some questions to find out whats from before and now?”

“Of course, though, we can take you to the river and help you clean up a bit if you want to give yourself time to think and decompress away from people.” Law said as he steadied Luffy as he swayed into Marco’s hold. “Not going to lie, Lu-ya, you look a bit rough.”

“I feel it, think I can feel my entire skeleton to be precise.” Luffy grunted. “Da, Jiji, can ya help me with that? Don't wanna add that energy drain to Torao and Birdie.” 

“Sure, kid, I’ll take you for a dunk.” Gaban huffed as he hauled Luffy up over his shoulder and made his way further into the forest. It was worth it to see the gobsmacked look on the youngster’s faces. Really, did they think that just because he retired he stopped training?

Luffy let out a yelp as he was tossed into the river, he spluttered and thrashed till he felt his jiji pull him up and couldn't help but glare as he caught the smirk on his jiji's face. “Why? Why!?”

“I said I’d take you for a dunk, Little Red.” Gaban chuckled softly as he picked up the small sack of what was clearly toiletries that appeared next to him on the bank after a flash from one of Law’s rooms. “Seems your husbands even decided to be nice and sent along a fresh set of clothes and some soaps!”

“Rayleigh is supposed to be the sadistic one!” Luffy snapped as he dragged himself onto a rock and snatched the bar of soap from his grandfather’s hands. 

“All in good fun, little Red.” Gaban snickered, staying close by in case Luffy fell into the water and even helping to pluck the twigs and leaves that had knotted into parts of his hair just small enough to go unnoticed prior. 

Beck snorted as he walked out of the treeline, towel in hand as he took a seat. “I would have done the same, if you wanted nice, should have asked Shanks.”

“Mãe would be miserable cleaning up in a river this “muddy”.” Luffy hummed as he scrubbed the dirt and sweat from his skin. “Mainly just needed someone to make sure I don't drown, my tolerance for the ocean… im not sure which life it is.”

“Everything is still too jumbled for me to figure out if I’m that other me in this me’s body or if I just got his memory all of a sudden.” Luffy huffed softly. “I don’t have scars the memories say I should so I don’t know what things I’m resistant to anymore.”

Beck helped his kid out of the water and dried, chuffing at him in comfort. “Well we can sit down with everyone, Anchor, to find out. Your crew is worried, our crew and Law's crew are worried. Let them help too.”

“I know they are. I just wanted to have a better idea of everything because it would only stress them out more otherwise.” Luffy chuffed as he pulled on the clean clothes his lovers had packed up for him, noting it was Marco’s own shirt. “I couldn’t be calm about this before. Everything was too much. Seeing me in that state would have only panicked them more. Hell, it freaked all of you out.”

“Never seen you so still… not since… not since we were kids.” Ace said and mouthed bear at his brother. 

“You can say bear, Ace.” Luffy hummed, lightly shoving his brother’s shoulder before tilting his head back and forth in thought. “… did the Porch face thing still happen? Or the thing with Bo’s sperm donor? Agh, I hate that everything is still so mixed up!”

“Both still happened, but Rayleigh saved Sabo after he was hurt by the Celestials fucks who shot his boat in his foolish attempt to escape instead of waiting for us. Roger turned Porchemy’s crew into a fine red mist.” Gaban huffed as he gently ruffled his grandson’s hair. “But, kid, you did exactly what you intended to do. You spared your crew, friends, and family as much pain as you were able. The memories will settle with more time but you did it. Now stop acting like your Mãe and Tio and stressing over every little thing. You ripped through time and changed it all for the better, Little Red, just sit back and enjoy it.”

Shanks squawked at his Da at that, “I don't stress over every little thing Da! That's Blue!” 

Luffy giggled as he flopped over his mae's back. “Mamãe, you without a doubt panic and over think much like Tio Blue.”

“Ooof… why’d you have to hit a growth spurt?!” Shanks grunted softly as he shifted to better support Luffy’s bulk on his smaller frame. 

“To spite you.” Luffy giggled back. 

“I did nothing to deserve being… spote? Spitten? Fuck Beck what’s the word I’m trying to find here.” Shanks said, looking at his husband even as everyone else started cackling. Gaban however just looked pained. Shanks had never been as book smart as Blue but he wasn’t stupid either… right? Right?!

A groan left Gaban as he facepalmed. “You are exactly like your fathers.” 

“… all muscle no brains?” Luffy asked curiously as he turned his head towards his grandfather. 

“No, no they have some brains. You’re describing Garp.” Gaban said as everyone else stared at Luffy like the pot that called the kettle black. 

Luffy nodded and shrugged at that letting the matter drop as he flopped more onto Shanks who was squawking louder at the insult, but he could feel his Mãe's joy in his Voice, the softness under the bluster. 

“Ne, guys, I think I’m ready to go back home now.” Luffy hummed from his comfy spot. Gaban had a point. It didn’t matter which Luffy he was. He had both sets of memories either way and if the him that Gaban met was stronger than he is now then Luffy would just train more. He’d given himself and everyone that mattered most to him a happier life. 

He still had husbands that he loved more than anything, and a crew that loved him as much as he did them. His brothers were happy and more importantly alive. His Jiji Gaban had never been broken by a Rayleigh that lost Roger. Ace… Ace was still anxious and depressed but fuck at least it was more than Luffy making sure he knew he was loved and always would be. 

This time he’d had three dads and two moms and they’d made sure to treasure his big brother the way he’d always deserved. The very way Luffy had tried to but he couldn’t break down those thick walls completely, not alone. So Luffy made sure the damn things were never built so strong to begin with. 

It wasn’t perfect. His family still would have hurts and scars and things he couldn’t protect them from no matter how badly he wanted to. But they were here and together and loved each other fiercely, broken parts and all. For Luffy? That was all he’d ever wanted so what Gaban, Rayleigh, and Roger had accomplished by taking words that bled from his very soul more achingly than any wound he had experienced out into the rainbow-misted air of that island, it was enough. It was more than enough. 

It was everything. 

Luffy had always been told he was selfish and greedy and possessive. But he was King and his only desire had been for the world to be free. He was still working on the rest of it, but his grandfathers had made sure his world already was.