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Craig Tucker was twenty-eight years old when he moved to South Park, Colorado.
Most people would consider Craig flighty or a drifter. Not many things interested him for very long.
His jobs frequently changed within the season. His romantic partners were non-existent, lasting a night or a couple weeks before he discarded them.
Most people were predictable. Boring. He detested that. On the way to a job in Aspen he took a pit stop to the small mountain town and stopped for coffee.
It was a mundane thing, just a way to get energy for the road, and yet it was how he came across the most interesting person.
He was blonde, small, and with the tendency to twitch or shriek. His coworker, some redhead, was generally the more relaxed one with the tendency to try to talk some sense into the blonde as he went on into some nonsensical rants when a customer wasn’t there.
Craig only planned on stopping for a minute. But he stuck around a little longer.
He figured out that the blonde’s name was Tweek(first and last, what a family) and his coworker was Kyle, who was his best friend.
Craig privately thought that must be how he got the job. After a couple customers that could only be described as difficult, Kyle bitched before Tweek intervened with him making sure the redhead took a break.
After finishing his coffee, Craig proceeded to look for work in the town. Something semi stable or permanent. Leaving without that blonde seemed wrong somehow. For a small town the turnover rate was surprisingly high, so he was able to get a gig bartending for nights.
He found a motel to stay in temporarily while looking for roommates. Craig figured if the turnover rate was this terrible here, people probably needed roommates too.
Eventually he found Clyde. Clyde was an interesting character. Very talkative and not big on social cues. It was almost like he decided from Day One that Craig was his best friend from here on out.
It wasn’t the most ideal but Craig came to find that Clyde Donavon was useful, very useful.
South Park was easy to get to know. Clyde had laid it out for him in pretty blunt languages: “This is a bumfuck town, pretty much everyone you know and everything here hasn’t changed in fucking decades man.”
So when Clyde decided to integrate him in his friend group he didn’t fight it. When he wanted to see the blonde again it needed to start naturally. Tweek’s age wasn’t known for sure, but Craig was almost certain he was either their age or younger. Which means there’s a good chance their groups eventually mingled.
Eventually after a month or so of getting himself close to Clyde’s buddies, he ended up at one of their parties. Their mutual friend, Token, liked having gatherings at his home once a month so despite how busy everyone got they could still be close.
Craig didn’t like that either. As someone who prided himself on being a man of little words, he knew he had to play his cards a certain way.
Not everyone took to him so well, Craig knew.
Clyde dragged him over to a group of guys, smiling widely. There was a raven-haired man with an easy smile on his lips. Next to him was the redhead, Kyle, who looked at him curiously. The last two were two blondes, one being Tweek, and the other that looked like he belonged to a beach instead of a snowy town in the middle of nowhere.
“Craig, “ said Clyde. He gestured over to the guys. “These guys are Stan, “ the brunette waved at him. “Kyle, “ the redhead nodded at him, giving a hesitant smile. “Tweek.” Tweek smiled at him nervously before going back to his twitching. “And Kenny, our resident stoner.” Kenny smirked, flipping Clyde off.
He nodded in acknowledgment, a slight smile curving up on his lips. “Nice to meet you guys.”
Craig watched as the other men shot the shit and discussed superficial matters. He was able to play it off by smoking the blunt with Kenny, who seemed to just take everything in stride.
He found out Tweek was the manager of the coffee shop and bound to own it one day. Apparently it may be sooner than later as his parents were dealing with pretty bad health issues. Kyle was there as a way to get some income while he went back to school. Apparently the redhead had a hard time with change so he went back to his parents as soon as he was able, but cited it as temporary because “I’m not going to die in this shithole” until he figured out what to do. Apparently he’s still figuring it out.
Stan was working as a farmhand for his father, who apparently owned one of the weed farms outside of town. He dealt with physical labor as a necessity, viewing music as his true passion. At some point, like Tweek, he’s expected to inherit the farm from his father.
Kenny was a mechanic and did random odd jobs on the side. It seemed like he didn’t give a shit about anything except his loved ones and getting laid.
After a couple hours of forced socialization, Craig was getting ready to leave when Kyle stopped him.
“Hey dude, “ he started, his face forming a friendly smile. “I know these things can be a lot, but you are welcome to come to game night with us. It’s less intense.”
Craig gave a small nod back. “I’ll think about it, thanks.” he said.
Kyle’s smile lessened but he nodded in acknowledgment and Craig left, possibilities in his mind.
—————————————————————-
Craig is working the night shift when he finds an unexpected surprise. Tweek was there.
Tweek went up to him. “Hey man, can I get a beer?” he asked, his signature twitch coming in.
Craig smiled crookedly. “Are you sure you need beer?” he asked rhetorically, watching as Tweek spluttered in confusion and indignation.
It was adorable. Enough time has passed that Craig could infer that Tweek indulged in all vices. Coffee, prescription pills, alcohol, and the men that came and went from his apartment.
This was the only gay bar in town so he knew Tweek was going to leave eventually. But Craig would rather protect him, his tweety-bird, then let him have his hands be defiled by unworthy hands.
But he had to play it safe. Tweek was fragile and self-destructive, so had to let the blonde accept him in.
“I’m a grown ass man Craig.” said Tweek, huffing a bit. “I think I can handle alcohol.”
Craig smirked. “I’m just saying, it seems like coffee affects you enough already.” he explained easily.
Tweek took a big jug of his beer. “Let me tell you something, man. Everything affects me.”
Craig raised an eyebrow. Tweek continued talking, his voice getting more panicked, “Corporations, the government…Everyone is watching.”
Ah. A little conspiracy theorist. To think he thought his little bird couldn’t get any more cute.
Craig was watching him this entire time and the blonde, despite being paranoid as balls, had no clue. The irony.
“Yet you’re going to a bar to hook up with strangers?” asked Craig, pushing down the temptation to smile wider. “I thought you’d be worried with all those thoughts in mind.”
“Don’t criticize me.” whined the blonde, a pout forming on his lips. His twitching continued with a frantic shriek happening in the middle. “Just let me get my rocks off in peace, man.”
Craig didn’t say anything, watching Tweek go.
Weeks went by and he joined occasional hangs out from each group, the latter if Tweek was going to be there.
Tweek was warming up to him, slowly but surely, but not where Craig wanted him yet. After asking if he wanted to hang out with no response for hours, Craig did some investigating.
Tweek was at his place with Kyle in tow. Kyle seemed to be in one of his upset moods, gesturing all over the place.
“You need to stop all of this dude.” declared Kyle, a frown on his face. “You were doing so well.”
Tweek smiled, a hazy look in his eyes. “No use stopping what’s ingrained in you.”
Kyle looked at the blonde. His eyes seem to be sad. “What your parents did was fucked up.” he said finally, taking the bottle from Tweek with little protest. “But the guys and I are your family dude, real family.”
Craig has seen enough. He went back home. After questioning Clyde, feigning concern, he came to realize two things.
One: Tweek’s family has had him addicted to drugs literally since he was a child. Apparently his coffee was mixed with meth.
Two: His parents went above being helicopter, putting the paranoia thoughts there from the start.
Finding where the Tweek’s lived was easy enough. Getting the supplies he needed was a bit more of a challenge. Eric Cartman, although detestable, was willing to get you anything for the right price.
He knocked on the door urgently, relieved that they didn’t have any Ring cameras around. Tweek’s parents opened the door.
“Is everything alright?” inquired the woman, looking at her husband with concern.
Craig’s lips began to quiver, feigning shivering from the cold. He didn’t say anything.
“Let’s get this man inside.” fretted Mrs. Tweek, with her husband grabbing Craig and pulling him inside.
Human nature is cruel, he thought. The instinct inside is for you to self-preserve but as soon as anybody sees a vulnerable creature, they lose any sense of control and try to help even if it could hurt them.
They sat him down with a blanket and gave them some of their brew, with thanks in response. Craig gripped his syringe in his hood pocket as they walked away to talk in impatience.
He feigned sad eyes when Tweek’s parents came back. “I’m sorry to cause all this trouble,” he said.
Mr. Tweek waved it away. “Nonsense.”
Mrs. Tweek looked at him in concern. “What happened to you, sweetheart?”
Craig made up some story about how he lost his place to stay and on the way traveling to get his affairs in order his car wouldn’t start so he walked the rest of the way, somehow making it to this town, and hoping someone would be willing to get his car a jump start.
In reality his car was three blocks away. Tweek’s parent insisted he stayed the night here, although Mr. Tweek seemed to have some reservations when he thought Craig couldn’t hear.
“Why would a grown man walk this long in this freezing weather?” inquired the man. “He didn’t mention any motel rooms, shelters, anything.”
Mrs. Tweek didn’t acknowledge this at all. “Imagine if it was our Tweek in this boy’s position. Let’s just give him a day.” she insisted.
Mr. Tweek didn’t say much then, presumably in thought. His voice was thoughtful when he ended with: “Doesn’t he look familiar to you?”
Craig ignored the response and waited until the Tweeks were soft and sound asleep. He took the syrines and put them in their veins.
They will be able to see everything once they wake up. But they will be immobile.
Craig dragged them to his basement. He took Tweek’s car to meet it and took out the rest of the necessary supplies inside. He considered taking the car back but figured it was better safe then sorry. Besides his car was common enough nobody could distinguish him from any other on the road.
As soon as Craig had them tied up adequately enough, he waited for them to wake up. Wake up they did, indeed.
Mrs. Tweek was panicking, confusion in her eyes. Her husband looked at him with anger.
“You were right, Mr. Tweek, “ he confirmed in a friendly tone. “I’m Craig Tucker, a friend of your son.”
Mr. Tweek’s eyes widened. He tried speaking but nothing came out. Anger and frustration was in his eyes in spades.
Craig smiled. “See, while I can commend you for your unique…way of child rearing, ” he said, with a roll of his eyes. “Eventually birds need to fly.”
They continued trying to speak for naught. “Don’t bother. You can’t talk, only listen. So listen well.”
“Tweek could do so much more without your influence,” said Craig, shaking his head. “You help a stranger yet drug your own son.”
He grabbed another syringe, watching as their eyes widened. “He’s so sweet, so kind….yet he hurts himself because of you.”
“Here’s how it’s going to be. I’m going to comfort your son, “ said Craig. “After you two die of-“ he put quotation marks over the next two words. “A heart attack.”
Craig continued getting the syringes ready for use. “But don’t worry, in laws, I’ll take good care of him.”
Craig laughed as he put the syringe in, mentally thinking Cartman for his vet supplies, as putting down a rabid human is much better than a rabid animal.
I’m coming, tweety-bird, he thought.
——————————————————————
It was only a couple days before Tweek discovered his parents had passed away. They were declared dead on arrival. The coroner determined it was natural causes, potentially a heart attack, and now they were at the funeral.
Tweek opted for a simple funeral, knowing that it wasn’t necessary. His reception consisted of donuts and coffee, a request made in honor of his parents, as the late Tweek’s would “loved serving coffee even in death.”
Craig watched as random family members and strangers offered their sympathies. He waited until the rest of the guys were walking towards Tweek before making his way to the blonde.
“I’m so sorry, dude.” said Stan, touching his neck with nervousness.
Kyle put his coffee down, forcing a smile on his lips. “You did great on the reception dude. Your parents would be so proud.”
Tweek’s smile was faint in return. Clyde and Kenny tried offering him a place to unwind after everything was done. Token nodded in agreement.
Craig took a donut, watching as Tweek’s eyes lit up. “Craig! You made it.” he said, his voice more animated. The other men looked at each other in confusion.
Craig wasn’t sure why his presence was welcomed so highly now but he wasn’t going to look a dead horse in the mouth. “I’m always here for you dude.” he said simply, after taking a bite of the donut.
Things after the funeral were great. Tweek was always with him. Craig felt like he was on Cloud 9. Tweek let Craig take the reins on everything. Whenever Tweek decided to let Craig have him physically, he almost balked.
“Are you sure, dude?” he asked, keeping a close eye on Tweek’s reaction. “I’m not going to pressure you, tweety.”
Tweek only smiled and pulled him in. All was well.
Until that annoying group decided to stick their nose where it didn’t belong. Kyle in particular.
Cartman let him know that he didn’t care what Craig did, but the Jew was on it. So, the fat man told him with a shrug: “You better take care of the problem.”
Craig was watching Stan’s home. Kyle was there. He was pacing and rambling. Stan was attempting to calm him with a hand grab.
“Dude, relax.” said Stan.
Kyle shook his hand, eyes blazing. “I can’t relax. Something is wrong here, dude.”
Craig watched as Stan and Kyle continued to discuss the death of the Tweek’s and Tweek himself.
“So what are the chances two people died of the same thing in the same night?” questioned the redhead. “One person maybe, but both of them?”
Stan shrugged. “I mean, you know this town. Stranger things have happened.”
Kyle ignored him. “And now Tweek is only with Craig all the time. Craig, who just moved here-what-six months ago?”
Stan nodded. “Yeah dude, but they are together. It’s normal that they’d want to spend time together.” He grinned with a wag of his eyebrows. “Look at me and Wendy.”
Kyle punched in the shoulder. “I don’t think you guys are the best reference for this.” he said dryly, referencing the fact that Stan and Wendy were frequently on the outs as much as they are on.
Stan shrugged. Kyle continued pacing. “Look, I tried to give the guy a chance. But he’s weird. You know that. Right?”
Stan smiled uncertainly, touching his neck again. “I mean, yeah, he’s a little quiet.”
Kyle nodded, feeling vindicated. “He only speaks to us when Tweek or Clyde is around. And when Tweek is there, he’s always focused on him. Just him.”
“So what, he's a murderer because he likes Tweek and prefers Clyde?” asked Stan, his eyebrow raising in skepticism. “That’s a bit of a reach, dude.”
Kyle let out a scream in frustration. Ever the firecracker. “Everything started happening once Craig came into the picture.”
Stan said nothing as Kyle continued rambling. He looked at Stan with a somber expression. “Do you remember what happened when we were assholes to Tweek and actually be friends with him, genuinely?”
Stan nodded. “Yeah, we decided that Tweek deserved better then the cards he was dealt, so we are going to-
Kyle cut him off. “Protect him. Yeah. Because he’s an anxious, terrified mess.”
Stan didn’t say anything. He looked at Kyle. “Tweek can handle himself now, Kyle.”
Kyle rolled his eyes. He grabbed his bag. “Be that way. I’ll handle this myself.” he said with a huff, making his way to the door.
Craig left his hiding spot and went back home. Tweek already gone home, getting paperwork and other details set up to officialize his takeover of the coffee business.
Whenever Craig had a day to spare, he watched Kyle. Kyle spoke to the cops. He took a report with him, looking everywhere but where Craig actually was before walking to his next destination.
“I got you fucker.” muttered Kyle, his fist clenched.
He made way to Tweek’s place with frantic knocks. Tweek answered the door with confusion.
Craig could hear the conversation with amusement.
“Tweek, this wasn’t an accident.” said Kyle, holding up the police report. “I don’t know how, but Craig had something to do with this.”
Tweek defended Craig, with Kyle shushing him. “This isn’t consistent with natural causes. I don’t know how they could be so fucking stupid-“
Tweek let out a small cry. Kyle continued: “There was something in his blood stream, see?”
The words UNKNOWN COMPOUND was pointed by Kyle’s pointer finger. “What do you call that, Tweek?”
Tweek’s lip began to quiver. “I know you don’t like Craig, but accusing him of murder? What the fuck, man.” he said.
Kyle smiled sadly. “Of course you don’t see it, dude. You started dating when you were in a terrible place.”
Tweek glared. “Timing aside, Craig makes me feel better. Don’t you want me to be better?”
Kyle searched his eyes slowly, looking for anything amiss. He didn’t. The redhead sighed heavily. “Yes, but not like this. Not with someone like that.”
Tweek’s eye twitched. He pointed at the door. “Leave.”
Kyle begged Tweek to let him stay, that he promised this wasn’t from dislike or flights of fancy. Tweek stayed firm.
The blonde looked at Kyle as he went to the door, hand on the knob. “You and the others are going to get yourself killed one of these days doing shit like this.”
Kyle didn’t say anything as he opened the door, hearing the last mutter of, “This is too much pressure.” and leaving the home, determined to get the truth.
Craig watched as Kyle left Cartman’s house a couple days later after sundown. He was muttering things to himself that Craig couldn’t hear.
He planned for this. Although the redhead was capable of taking care of himself, and prone to doing so easily, his height and weight left Craig a considerable advantage. Craig was a lot taller with more muscles in his legs and arms, from manual labor from all his old jobs. Kyle, meanwhile, was barely reaching 5”3 with scrawny everything.
He grabbed the chloroform and walked quietly, his steps almost silent, as he put the drug on the towel. As soon as Craig was right behind Kyle he grabbed the smaller man and put the towel on him, rendering him unconscious.
Craig grabbed him and took the redhead to his apartment. He made sure Clyde would be gone tonight, citing that Tweek was coming over and they wanted privacy for the night. Clyde did wonder why they didn’t just go to Tweek’s since he lived alone but Craig waved it off as he wanted to plan something nice for the blonde since he works so hard. Craig thought his eyes would roll over into his skull by how much gushing Clyde did after that-so happy he managed to get the anxious blonde with somebody so “nice”.
Craig didn’t understand Kyle. Kyle was supposed to be in the similar mindset as him. Tweek needed to be protected. Yet he wants to take away his boyfriend, love of his life-undoubtedly the best person for Tweek?
After thirty minutes of Kyle unconscious, tied up and gagged, he eventually woke up. Kyle glared at him hatefully and tried to speak. The ball gag prevented him from doing so and Craig smirked.
“I’m going to take this off, but you aren’t going to scream.” said Craig, before motioning to the gun. “Or otherwise you get shot. Got it?”
Kyle nodded, eyes wide. Craig took the gag out, making the former cough and hack. As soon as Kyle stopped, he looked at Craig. “I knew you were fucking crazy.”
Craig laughed. “Yet you thought going to Cartman’s before everyone was out was wise? How reckless. Weren’t you the valedictorian?” he taunted.
“Okay, so that wasn’t my best choice.” the redhead admitted reluctantly. Kyle spit in his face, grinning in vindication as Craig wiped his face with annoyance. “But I still figured you out.”
Craig grabbed his knife. Kyle’s eyes looked at the knife, gulping lightly before looking at Craig, looking at the brunette with hate.
“And what did you figure out?” inquired Craig, messing with his knife absentmindedly. “That I love your friend? Protect him? How terrible.” He snorted.
The redhead shook his head. “You don’t love him.” he said definitely. Kyle looked at him, his eyes not losing their blazing fury. “A loving boyfriend doesn’t murder his other boyfriend’s parents, you dipshit.”
Craig hummed. “They were holding Tweek back. Keeping him drugged and scared for so many years.”
Kyle’s eyes looked at him with disbelief. “So encourage him to lose contact, stand up for him, don’t commit a double murder.”
Craig ignored him. Kyle was muttering things, nonsensical insults he didn’t waste time decoding, and looked at him with curiosity.
“You clearly want to help my tweety-bird. “ he mused, holding his chin thoughtfully. “I can respect that. But you need to stop getting involved in my part.”
“How fucking crazy are you?” yelled the redhead. “I’m not going to let you walk free, you fruit loop.”
Craig sighed. “I was hoping to avoid more bloodshed.” he said disappointingly, grabbing the redhead by the hair and making him cry out in pain. “Cartman was right, you are a force to be reckoned with.”
He put the gag back on. Kyle tried fighting him but he was able to fight him quite easily. Nothing keeps a fiery person down like not being able to move.
“This was a lovely chat.” stated Craig, smiling. “Have a good night.”
Craig took the knife, figured it was going to be less of a hassle then explaining gun shots (better safe then sorry) and stabbed him in the leg. He could hear muffled screams. He went to the other leg next. Craig could see the tears fly down the other man’s eyes.
Craig stabbed him straight in the stomach and watched as he bled out. It’s interesting, he thought. His hair was so close to the color of blood.
“It’s a shame,” he told the corpse. “We could have been friends, you and me.”
He heard the knock of the door. Craig ignored it. Nobody was supposed to be here till tomorrow afternoon and he didn’t want to deal with Girl Scouts right now.
“Open the door Craig.” yelled Tweek, his voice showing his impatience.
Craig looked at his hands, the corpse, and the blood of the floor. “Shit.”
He went to the door. “Give me just a second, honey, “ he said, washing his hands over the sink as quickly as he could.
Fuck.
What was he going to do about Kyle? The floor?
Tweek couldn’t see this. He wouldn’t understand, not yet.
“I’m coming in.” said Tweek, who pushed the door open. Craig face palmed.
You didn’t lock the door. Idiot, he told himself.
Tweek looked at Craig. He looked at Kyle, who was bloodied out. He looked at the floor streaked in blood.
“I told Kyle that he’d eventually die doing shit like this.” grumbled the blonde, which made the raven-haired man look at him in shock. “Nobody ever listens to me, noooo.”
Craig smiled nervously. “You are taking this a lot better than I thought you would.”
Tweek took his hands, an almost manic look in his eyes. “Why would I take it badly, Craig?”
Craig said nothing. This was moving an entirely different direction than he ever expected it too.
Tweek smiled mischievously. “You know, it’s funny, “ he said.
Craig’s throat went dry. He tried gulping to clear it. “What is?” he asked quietly.
“People think it’s paranoia to think you are being watched.” said the blonde, before grinning at the other man. “But it’s not paranoia if you know you are being watched, huh?”