Archive of Our Own

Qifrey fell face first to the ground with a hacking cough. His lungs felt so itchy that he wanted to rip open his chest to scratch it. Knowing he couldn’t do that without dying, he reached for  his throat instead; scratching it with his short fingernails just to relieve the itchiness. Unfortunately, it didn’t help and he coughed more violently instead.

It felt like eternity when his cough finally subsided. He opened his remaining good eye and was assaulted by blinding light that he immediately closed his eye again. Alas, despite his closed eye, the fragments of light still lingered behind his eyelids so he turned back his body to the source of light. He could feel the soft grass tickling his ear and empty eye socket. When the lingering light finally disappeared, he tried to open his eye again and saw the Silverwood leaves surrounding him. Lying limply not so far from his body.

Anger bubbled in his heart and he stretched his hand to grab a fistful of it but was interrupted by another surging violent cough. This time, he could taste blood in his mouth. Without any choice, Qifrey rode out the cough. The process was so painful like his lungs wanted to burst out of his ribs.

When the coughing fit finally stopped, Qifrey took a deep breath and exhaled it. His lungs were not itchy anymore so he inhaled and exhaled again to test it. When he’s sure he’s not going to cough again, he propped an elbow to rise. The moment he managed to rise, several Silverwood leaves fell in front of his face like it’s mocking him. His face constricted as he saw those leaves fall slowly to the grassy land. The silver color of it never faded even though it’s been severed from the main tree.

Oh, right.

The Silverwood tree.

His mind was hazy but he’s supposed to turn into it when he broke down.

Was this how he’s going to die?

Not hanging up on a tree, but keeled over like the roots.

How fitting for someone who was unearthed from a metal coffin buried deep into the water.

But unfortunately his ponder was cut short when the next sensation hit him immediately as he felt a burning sensation from his insides and keeled over.

He moved his body into a fetal position as his hands fisted the tight black turtleneck around his heart. It was so hot like he’s being burnt directly by fire. A fire that he always craved whenever he’s alone in his room back in the atelier. A fire that he always sought and knew was only down the hallway on the other side of the atelier.

The burning sensation slowly spread to his stomach, lungs, throat, everywhere. He writhed in pain and gasped for whatever air he could get. He would even dive into the river to stop this burning pain, but alas, even though he's a witch specialized in water, in this condition, not even he could draw any spell to conjure water. What he could do was bending his long legs to his chest as the burning sensation slowly reached his legs and feet in hope to lessen the spreading pain. But even with his muddled mind, he knew it didn’t work that way.

When the burning pain finally reached his head, he gasped for more air like a drowning man. His hands gripped his hair hoping it could help but like what he’s been doing for however long it was, it didn’t work. Instead, his ears started ringing loudly that his good remaining eye started to lose focus. He blinked rapidly, trying to stay awake, but he’s fighting a losing battle and his eyesight gradually turned blurry before it completely went dark.

Faintly, he heard people calling his name. The high-pitched yell sounded a lot like his apprentices, while the low baritone panicked voice sounded like Olruggio.

Then his consciousness faded.

●○●○●

The gurgling ocean sea was the first thing Qifrey heard upon regaining his consciousness. Then a sound of whale, followed by a heavy toll of a bell. He was brought back to the time when he’s running around the Great Hall with Olruggio leading him since the place had always been like a maze for him.

Opening his eye was not an easy feat but he tried.

The first thing he saw upon opening his eye was the white ceiling of Healing Spire that reflected the ocean floor through the window. The waves’ reflection swayed calmly since there’s never a storm under the ocean.

Then he propped himself up. The blanket fell into his lap and his heart seized when he saw the bed. The pristine sheet was covered in silvery leaves; glowing softly due to the dull light of the ocean that covered the Great Hall all year round.

In a hurried way, Qifrey kicked his blanket and ran to the nearest mirror. Unfortunately, his legs got tangled in the sheet and he fell ungracefully.

“Qifrey!”

A warm, calloused hand held his arms and helped him stand up.

“Are you okay?”

He tried to stand up but his legs felt like jelly. The familiar hands moved to support him by slinging his arm into the latter’s shoulder while that same hand held his waist and they stood up.

“Olly..” Qifrey whispered as Olruggio helped him back to bed.

“You’ve been in a coma for a week so don’t push yourself.” Olruggio put back his blanket and frowned. “Let me tidy up the bed. I bet you got sick of seeing the Silverwood leaves.”

Qifrey looked at Olruggio whipping out his palm squire and drew a wind sigil. The silver leaves gathered and were thrown into a dustbin located near his bed. Then the black-haired witch took a nearby chair and sat on it.

“How do you feel?” Olruggio asked after they stayed silent for fifteen minutes.

“I feel like I want to puke.”

At that sentence, Olruggio stood up and took the dustbin on his bedside and put it in Qifrey’s lap. “Then puke.”

Qifrey looked at his best friend with a weary expression but he puked anyway.

The hacking noise reverberated in the single room and Qifrey felt that Olruggio stood on his side and began to massage his neck and spine to help. Qifrey puked again. His eye was watery and his nose was full of snot. When he raised his head from the bin, Olruggio handed him a handkerchief and he took it gladly. Rubbing his nose and face with the soft material. He stared at the dustbin and saw his puke mixed with blood. He frowned.

“Here. Drink some water.”

Qifrey accepted the glass of water and drank. The liquid passed his parched throat and he felt alive.

Qifrey blinked.

He’s alive.

How?

“Olly, wha— what happened? I remember confessing everything and immediately the Silverwood took over. But how— how am I still alive?” Qifrey looked at Olruggio with a manic eye. He searched his body for forbidden magic traces but couldn’t find it.

“Ah..” Olruggio rubbed his neck. Eyes darting to anything other than Qifrey’s face. Then he crossed his arms and closed his eyes like he’s searching for a better sentence. “About that..”

Qifrey’s eye went wide and he surged forward to grab Olruggio’s white shirt. His voice was firm yet soft like he’s in pain. “Olly.. What have you done?!”

The black-haired man caught the other’s shoulder to steady him. “Careful. You’re not steady enough.”

Qifrey buried his face in Olruggio’s chest. Still grabbing the shirt tightly like his life depended on it. He could feel tears welling in his eyes; threatened to fall. His voice, barely above a whisper, said, “Tell me what have you done.”

“Qifrey, calm down.” Olruggio took his face and cradled his right cheek. His fingers swiftly wiped the tears that had fallen. “Please calm down and listen to me.”

Qifrey let go of the shirt and Olruggio guided him to lean to the headboard. When his best friend finally sat back on his chair, he took a deep breath and started telling the story.

“We had a pretty nasty argument outside the atelier when the girls were woken up. When you revealed everything to me, your curse─the Silverwood─started acting up and Coco dashed and started crying. She revealed about your─or more like my solution so the only thing I could do was to do it again.” Olruggio raised his eyes to see Qifrey’s aquamarine one. “But you prevented me and Coco even fought me when I attempted to do it. The girls soon followed and tackled me before I could do the erasure. It was so chaotic and the only thing I could focus on was your pained expression. Hanging on the tree that I’ve known my whole life to grant me magic.”

Olruggio took his left hand and put it in his face. Qifrey could feel the roughness of his beard and judging from the thickness, it seemed like his best friend hadn’t shaved for a while.

Then with the most tender voice and misty eyes, Olruggio looked at Qifrey and said, “Please don’t do that again. I don’t think I can survive without you.”

Qifrey took a sharp breath. His heart beat loudly in his ribs and he felt dizzy.

“But it didn’t explain how I’m still alive.”

“I’m about to continue. Just.. let me have my moment, please.”

“Olly..” Qifrey gave him an unimpressed look and it soon was replaced by a bright red face when Olruggio brought his hand to kiss his knuckle and wrist. “Olruggio!”

“Right.” The fire witch stopped and let go of his hand. “You see, I always think children are very creative. Especially your apprentices. Because when Agott saw you writhing in pain like that and was given the circumstances, she immediately conjured a big pool of water and dunked your head to it and the Silverwood retracted. I was flabbergasted, but it’s not a solution. So all of us packed up and went to the Tower of Tomes and the girls took the test to find books to help you.”

“What?!” Qifrey raised his voice. “How could you let them do that, Olly?! It’s a precious opportunity. They should search for a book that their heart desires. Not.. not this. Not for my sake.” Then Qifrey looked at Olruggio in panic. “Coco.. how about Coco? Did she.. Did she find that picture book?”

The black-haired witch shook his head. “What they desired the most at the time was to save you. Save their beloved teacher.”

“Oh heavens..” Qifrey slumped in defeat. “How could I do that? How could I let them use their precious opportunity just to save me? What a horrible teacher I am!” Qifrey bunched up his blanket and bent down.

“Qifrey..”

Olruggio’s hand was about to reach him when he violently shouted, “Don’t touch me!”

Qifrey began to whimper. His hands found his hair and he began to pull it like a madman. “Don’t you see how horrible I am, Olly? I may have an ulterior motive by taking them, but not this. Not for them to sacrifice themselves for me. I’ve failed them.” His shout subsided, replaced by a soft voice. “I failed you.”

“Qifrey! Qifrey!”

The white-haired witch gasped when his best friend grabbed both of his wrist. Olruggio had raised up from his position and caught his wrists. This way he seemed taller and menacing with his eyes narrowed and his voice boomed inside the sterile room. Qifrey went still.

“They don’t regret it. Coco doesn’t regret saving you.” Olruggio paused. “I don’t regret saving you. Back then and now. I’ll do it again and again if it means that you’re alive.”

A realization came into Qifrey’s mind.

“Wait, Olly.” His sole eye went wide. “What do you mean? What are you talking about? Do you..”

Remember?

Olruggio brought down his wrists to his lap. Loosening the grip, but not letting them go. “I..” He started. “I went back to the Tower of Tomes two days ago to find a spell to restore my memory. Fun fact, there’s a spell like that.” The black-haired man grinned. “There’s no rule saying you couldn’t challenge the Librarian’s Trial again. It’s just that people find it hard and chalk it up as a one time thing. When I went there, the three librarians were so impressed that I came back and challenged them again.” Olruggio squeezed his hands. “So don’t worry. Next time, we’ll go there to accompany them to actually find the books they desire. But to do that, you need to be alive.”

At that moment, Qifrey understood. The Olruggio sitting in front of him had remembered everything. Had remembered his own promise. Had known Qifrey’s sin. And he stayed. He stayed with him if Tetia’s bed of sand magic near his bed was anything to go by.

Qifrey was prepared for the pain to shoot but it never came. In fact, he felt nothing.

He stared at the hands that Olruggio held.

Nothing had sprouted out.

Was he..

But then he remembered. There’s one other thing he had worried about other than Olruggio finding out their secret. His apprentices.

“Olly, where are Agott, Tetia, Richeh, and Coco? Are they with you?” Qifrey asked with eyebrows knitted in worry.

On the contrary, Olruggio just raised an eyebrow and let go of his hands. Qifrey quickly found that he missed the warmth and wanted it back. But first thing first, he needed to know his apprentices’ whereabouts.

“They’re with Lord Beldaruit. Helping him with administration tasks around the office.” The black-haired witch looked up at the clock and said, “In fact, they’re supposed to be here anytime now.”

With that cue, several familiar voices could be heard and he turned his head to the wooden door.

“That’s why I told you to sort the letter by its seal first before moving to the date and the sender. That way, we can prioritize which one to be reviewed first.” Agott’s voice was exasperated.

“But then the least important people will get their replies late. I think it’s unfair.” Coco argued back.

“Richeh is hungry and cannot think about paperwork now.” Richeh huffed in annoyance.

“We’re going to eat. I hope Professor Olruggio is inside so we can eat soon.” Tetia trailed her words.

When Agott opened the door, the four girls were pushing a tray cart full of food in it.

Qifrey’s heart seized and the four girls also stopped in their tracks.

Their eyes met and all the four of them abandoned the tray by the door to clamber into Qifrey’s bed and hugged him.

“Professor Qifrey!” All of them called out in unison.

“Oh, all of you.” Qifrey spread his arms to envelop them in a hug and rubbed each of their backs in a soothing manner. “I’ve heard the story from Olly. I cannot believe you all went above and beyond for me, when I’m supposed to do that.”

Coco shook her head and looked up. “It’s not above and beyond if it’s for family.”

“And we’ll do it again if it’s necessary.” Tetia buried her head deeper into Qifrey’s crook of arm. Qifrey could feel something wet in his sleeves.

“I don’t want to lose another family again so please don’t go, Professor.” Richeh fisted his front shirt tightly.

“We need you more than what you think of yourself.” Agott tightened her hug around his torso.

Qifrey’s heart swelled and he couldn’t prevent the tears from falling. He bowed his head whispering thank you and I’m sorry again and again against each of their heads. Even the Brushbuddy had climbed into his shoulder and nuzzled into his cheek.

“I think it’s enough of a reunion.” Olruggio’s voice cut off Qifrey’s vehement thank you and I’m sorry. “I thought Richeh is hungry.”

“Geez, Professor Olly. Are you jealous or something? If you want, we can scoot over and give you room to hug Professor Qifrey too.” Tetia’s teasing smile was directed at flabbergasted Olruggio who was pushing the cart near the bed.

Olruggio’s face turned bright red and he faked a cough. “It’s not what I mean and you know it.” His eyes glared at Tetia, then went back to the pile of humans in the hospital bed. “It’s time for dinner and you all come for that, right?”

At that cue, Richeh’s stomach growled loudly.

“I think it’s time to eat.” Qifrey announced as he retreated his arms from the girls and all of them went to grab their plates before sitting back in his bed, surrounding him.

Qifrey blinked. “I don’t think Sinocia would appreciate having a picnic in a hospital bed like this.”

“She didn’t.” Richeh said while munching the mashed carapace yam. “But we’re persistent and she gave up eventually.”

Qifrey threw Olruggio a withering look but the man just shrugged and gave him a bowl of soup instead. Qifrey sighed and accepted it.

“Since you’re unconscious, they can only feed you nutritional soup. I’ll ask for porridge for breakfast.” Olruggio handed him a spoon.

Qifrey stared at the clear liquid with green leaves floating in the bowl. It smelt good and refreshing. He spooned it and sipped on it. It’s salted perfectly despite only liquid. He sipped it more and he could identify the horncap mushroom and chrysanthonion. Without his realization, he had finished it in no time and Agott helped him to deposit the used bowl back in the tray.

“We’ll be back soon!” Tetia raised her arm and the four of them wheeled the tray cart back to the kitchen.

“So how do you feel?” Olruggio asked after the whirlwind of apprentices he called theirs clicked the door shut.

Qifrey looked at his hands. Contemplating.

This was supposed to be his biggest comfort, right?

For his beloved one to know his deepest secret and accept it gracefully and forgive him.

To live and laugh freely under the sky that he admired so much.

He should be rejoicing when all of his sins laid bare for everyone to judge but got forgiven instead.

He should be crying in relief.

He should be happy.

He should be…

But for some reason it felt hollow.

Like something had been ripped from him and he didn’t know what to think or feel about it.

He knew it’s the parasite that had been ripped and he knew he should be happy. How could he not when the girls and his best friend worked so hard to cure him from this long time affliction of his. So why..

“I don’t know.” Qifrey answered after a long pause. “I’m not quite sure, Olly.”

“It’s okay.” Olruggio's warm hand squeezed his shoulder. He had always been warm. Whether it’s because he wielded fire magic or just his constitution, Qifrey didn’t know. “It’s normal to be confused. You’ve lived with it for twenty plus years so of course, there will be some kind of loss even though it’s parasitic in the first place.”

Qifrey looked up to the big window. The ocean hummed deeply like any other day in the Great Hall. He always hated how it looked so tranquil despite holding a great power enough to devastate the land above. Like a sleeping apex predator, the sea was calm as long as no ripple touched its surface.

“You’re right. Maybe I just need time to adjust.”

He’s suffocating.

●○●○●

Qifrey was discharged a week later after Sinocia deemed him stable enough to go back to his daily activities. She noted with a stern look that Qifrey was not to do something to overexert himself during the first month after being discharged. She also prescribed him vitamins, dietary, and several medicines to go with him.

“If anything happened, please come back.” Sinocia smiled with her right hand on her hip.

“Thank you, Sinocia. I cannot thank you enough for all the help you’ve offered. Tell me if you need anything. I’ll try my best to help.” Qifrey smiled back. This time he truly meant it.

“Now you’re embarrassing me.” The doctor waved her hand shyly. “If there’s anything you could help, it’s be healthy for the sake of your loved one.”

Qifrey snorted. “I’ll try.”

The two adult witches and the four apprentices bidded their goodbye and flew from the Healing Spire to Beldaruit’s house.

At the insistence of Beldaruit, he demanded Olruggio to make a windoway to connect his house to Qifrey’s atelier in case an emergency occurred. Since Qifrey didn’t like the idea of having a windoway to the Great Hall, Olruggio compensated it by building it in Beldaruit’s house so if the white-haired man protested, he could take it up to his teacher instead. It's a win-win solution in Olruggio’s mind and Qifrey found no fault in that.

The group of six flew down to a familiar two storey house made of cobblestone. Coco knocked on the door with rhythm Qifrey had known his whole remembered life and opened it. It seemed like during his comatose state, the girls had made themselves at home at Beldaruit’s house.

“What a coincidence, I’m baking cookies!” Beldaruit turned his head to the newcomer and raised a plate of cookies.

“Cookies!!” The girls ran and swarmed the old man, except for Agott who was lagging behind the group but still took the cookies shyly. Then all of them ran to the kitchen saying they needed milk for it.

“Nice to meet you, Professor Beldaruit.” Qifrey stood awkwardly in the middle of the living room. Hands laced under his navel. Olruggio had made himself scarce by following the girls saying he needed to supervise them not to make a mess in someone else’s kitchen.

Beldaruit smiled. Putting down the cup Qifrey had invented for him years ago carefully on the table. “Welcome back, dear child.”

Qifrey played with his fingers. A sign of nervousness.

They stayed in silence for several minutes before Beldaruit offered him to sit. Qifrey nodded and sat across the man who was his parental figure in this world. He peeked at the old man calmly sipping his tea. His wrinkles were more apparent and he looked older since the last time he saw him. He always looked thin, but for some reason he looked like he lost another weight.

Qifrey’s heart clenched uncomfortably.

“Professor, are you alright?” Qifrey asked. His voice barely above a whisper.

Beldaruit flicked his eyes to his first student. He was bunching up his skirt tightly. A sign Beldaruit had associated with Qifrey being nervous.

“I am as alright as my old age can be,” replied Beldaruit calmly. “I admit I’m not in the best of health, never was, but your visit actually brightens up my day. So tell me, dear apprentice of mine, how do you hold up?”

“I’m still navigating. It feels weird and empty. I don’t know what’s normal and not but I’m learning.” Qifrey answered with a rueful smile. “I never thought I’ll still be learning at this age.”

“There’s no stopping in learning since knowledge always evolves as long as humans still walk on earth. The younger generation,” The sound of shrilling voices from the kitchen reprimanding Olruggio and Riliphin rang. “Always found a way to improve and invent things. Our job as teachers is to lead them to the right path and prepare them for the real world and be their safe place if they need it.” Then Beldaruit turned his gaze to Qifrey. Eyes full of sadness. “I’m sorry that I cannot be a safe space for you. I had a hunch but I don’t know what to do.” In a desperate voice, Beldaruit continued, “Even though I’m the Wise of Teaching, I cannot even help my own apprentice.”

Qifrey took a sharp breath when he saw the forlorn face Beldaruit made. He immediately stood up and crossed the threshold to kneel in front of the old man sitting in a sealchair. His smoke colored robe billowed due to the sudden movement and fell gracefully on the marbled floor in an instant.

The younger man held the older one’s hands and looked up. His hair that he styled to cover his empty left socket was brushed aside to reveal his full face. The remaining aquamarine eye gazed up to the grey eyes of his professor─his father, then smiled widely; hiding the tears in the corner of his good eye. “Thank you for picking me up. Thank you for fighting in my defense when everyone opposed. Thank you for introducing me to magic and its brilliance. Thank you for saving me. Thank you.”

A sniff then turned into full sobs as the teacher-student cried with Qifrey laying his head on Beldaruit’s lap and Beldaruit hugging Qifrey in his sitting position. Unloading the hidden emotion that’s been kept for two decades.

The cookies and tea were left forgotten.

●○●○●

To be back at his atelier─his home─after a long time was weird. The familiar layout had been covered in dust and the whole house felt cold even though it’s supposed to be spring.

Richeh pinched her nose and made a face of disgust. “It smells funny here.”

They came from the windoway and were already inside the atelier. The smell Richeh had commented was the stale air permeating the whole building due to its inactiveness for three weeks.

A clap of hands jolted Qifrey from his reverie and turned his head to the source.

“Alright, now let’s tidy up.” Olruggio lit the lamp across the hallway and the girls had scattered deeper into the building. Leaving Qifrey standing in the living room, looking lost.

Olruggio tapped on his shoulder and Qifrey turned back to see his best friend who just lit the fireplace. “Are you okay? Do you need to rest?”

Qifrey smiled. “No, I’ll take care of the kitchen. Can you be a dear and check the bathroom and your own atelier?”

Olruggio snorted. “Of course. Call out if you need help and don’t push yourself hard or Sinocia will have my head.”

Olruggio walked down to his atelier since it’s the nearest.

Qifrey turned his eyes to the kitchen. The tables and cooking utensils were covered in dust. The herbs he had planted near the window had withered sadly in their pots since the window was dimmed by a spell. He walked to the shelves where he usually stored his cooking ingredients. The ingredients he had stored had turned stale. Even his soup in the magic pot had turned bad since the sigils had faded. The only ingredients he could salvage was the one that’s actually had a long preservation life like spices, alcohol, and sugar. He checked the salt container and found none. They even ran out of salt.

The water witch slid down the top half of his robe and let it pool in his waist. He pulled out the seal Olruggio had placed on the window and let the sunshine enter the kitchen.

How much he missed the sunshine after being confined under the sea for two weeks. He took a deep breath of the stale air and could imagine the air outside in Naakiwan Downs. His heart lightened.

His mind came to a halt. Body frozen in front of the sink. Eye closed, bracing himself for the Silverwood to throb painfully in his shoulder and eye.

It never came.

Qifrey clenched his hands in front of his loud heart. Breathing rapidly like he had just ran a marathon. He opened his eyes and saw the familiar sink, withered potted plants, and the sight of Naakiwan Downs from the kitchen window.

He gasped and put his hands in his mouth. Surprised.

“Professor Qifrey,” Coco’s voice called out and he turned his head too fast that his vision turned black for seconds before coming back to show the light green-haired girl on top of the staircase leading towards the living room. “Do you need help?”

Qifrey smiled brightly. His aquamarine eye looked at Coco tenderly. “Nope. Maybe you can see what Olruggio is up to in his workshop. He probably has a ton to tidy up.”

Coco hesitated. Hand held near her heart while the other bunched up her skirt.

Qifrey gave her an encouraging smile and she nodded. Smiling and began to run to Olruggio’s side of the atelier.

How blessed he was to have such an understanding apprentices. Maybe he had used up his life’s luck to gain this little group of darlings or maybe it’s life’s way to compensate for his early suffering that he didn’t even remember. Either way, he’s blessed to have them in his life.

Then his eyes turned back to the messy kitchen. “Alright, let’s do this.”

●○●○●

The six witches finally gathered around in the evening for dinner. Since most of the food supplies had gone bad, Qifrey needed to be more creative with his dishes. He noticed how Richeh made a weird face when he bit the smoked quadryphon. He really needed to go to Kalhn to restock their kitchen tomorrow.

Dinner ended peacefully with the girls and Olruggio thanking him for the food and dispersed into their own room to rest. After the big impromptu cleaning day, they all were tired and ready to hit the hay as soon as possible. Although, Olruggio had stayed behind to help him clean the dishes. He’s washing it while Qifrey dried it. They stood side by side.

“How is your body holding? Are you still in pain? Have you taken the medicine Sinocia had prescribed yet?” Olruggio asked quietly.

“No, I haven’t. She probably mixed some sleep-induced herbs and truthfully I’m still a bit afraid of falling asleep fully.” Qifrey whispered as his hand arranged the dried plates.

Years of falling asleep with an uneasy mind and heart had ingrained his body into a fight and flight mode that’s not easy to undo. Even during his stays in the Healing Spire, he was usually awakened during ungodly hours to just stare at the ocean above with disdain. In a way, even though it’s safe, sleeping in the Great Hall which was located under the sea, had helped him stave off the Silverwood curse all those years ago. But now that he’s back on the surface, back in his humble atelier in the middle of Naakiwan Downs, back in his only safe space in this world, he’s afraid to sleep.

He knew the Silverwood curse had perished from his body, but he couldn’t help that his mind and body still felt it after living together for so many years. Somewhere in his mind, there’s a small voice saying that the curse hadn’t gone completely and only lay dormant until he’s actually tricked to relax and it would strike harder and faster.

“Do you want me to stay up with you?” Olruggio offered as he dried his hands with the nearby rags.

Qifrey looked at his oldest friend. Under the night sky and quiet atelier in the middle of nowhere, Olruggio stood beside him. Comforting him, offering his help, and what Qifrey had done to this man was unspeakable. He had always wondered, what if one day when Olruggio had enough and finally left him, what would he do? But that time never came. In fact, even after the nasty argument three weeks ago, Olruggio had stayed with him. He took the matter in his own hands and guided his little apprentices while he’s absent. He even invented a new spell with his apprentices to help with his Silverwood affliction. His remaining life probably wasn’t enough to repay this man so how in the world Qifrey could repay this sky’s kindest and radiant star?

“No need. I know you’re very behind your schedule so please rest, Olly. I won’t run away again.” Qifrey took Olruggio’s hands and smiled. The smile didn’t reach his eye, but he hoped his feelings were conveyed through his action.

Would he be able to sleep tonight? Probably not. Would he try anyway? Yes, for the sake of Olruggio who stared at him with meaningful eyes.

Olruggio was the first to break the eye contact and released his hands from Qifrey’s. His left hand went to his neck to rub it. A habit that Qifrey knew started after his first memory erasure.

“Then let me accompany you to your room.” Olruggio stared ahead, without looking into Qifrey’s eye.

Unfortunately, Qifrey noticed how red his ears were. Not wanting to embarrass his friend further, Qifrey chuckled. “My room is only down the hallway. There’s no need for an escort.”

Olruggio grunted. “Just.. humor me please.”

Qifrey snorted. Voice light and easy. “Alright, my dear friend. Let’s tidy up here and let you escort me back to my chamber.”

“Now you’re exaggerating.” The black-haired witch huffed in annoyance.

Qifrey pulled out the lantern from its place and the kitchen turned dark. He walked with Olruggio beside him to the hallway behind the kitchen. At the end of the hallway was a single wooden door.

“We’ve arrived.” Qifrey announced and gave the lantern to Olruggio. “Have a good rest, Olly.”

“Yeah, you too,” said Olruggio back but he didn’t move.

Qifrey looked at his friend, confused.

“Get inside and I’ll go.” This time Olruggio stared up at the corner where a spiderweb sat.

Qifrey couldn’t help but laugh. “What the hell, Olly? Okay, okay, I’ll go inside.”

Qifrey opened the door and stepped into his room. Then he turned back to see Olruggio still standing there with the lantern. “Good night.”

“Good night.”

Qifrey closed the door and listened to the footsteps growing more distant. When he’s sure Olruggio was not around anymore. He turned to see his bedroom.

He had avoided this place this afternoon, excusing that the kitchen and living room were more important since people kept coming there.

The bedroom felt sad. With a dusty table and bookshelves, combined with the musty smell of blanket and sheets, the room was in need of air. So he moved to the window situated behind his desk and opened it. The cold air came inside and he breathed in it. He then sat at the chair and drew a small light sigil to illuminate his desk in case Olruggio went back to check on him. He had done it occasionally to make sure everyone was fast asleep before.

The white-haired witch opened his drawer to unload a wooden box and twisted the knob. The box unlocked and revealed a bottle of special ink, several memory erasing sigils, and a notebook. Qifrey took out the notebook and flipped it into a blank page. He dipped his normal pen into the bottled ink used for writing located in his desk and began to write.

He wrote and wrote and wrote accompanied by the night full of stars.

When he finally felt that he couldn’t escape sleep, Qifrey put down the pen and laid his head into his folded hands. His eye still stared at the sky until his eye burnt and sleep took over.

●○●○●

Apparently, unlearning your habit for twenty years was not easy.

Qifrey had been living with the parasitic Silverwood that staved off his comfort for so long that he didn’t know how to react to people offering him comfort. For example, Tetia liked when her hair was stroked gently, while Richeh preferred to be bundled in a soft and warm blanket. When she’s sad, Coco always asked for a rub on her back, saying her mother always did that. On the other hand, his oldest and mature apprentice, Agott, actually liked to be hugged when she’s upset. Hence, why she rarely asked for it because it’s embarrassing according to her.

He knew how to comfort his apprentices and he also knew how to comfort Olruggio when he’s upset and sad about something. But when it’s his turn, he couldn’t answer. He never thought about it before. He only knew his solace was Olruggio, but in technicality, he never imagined how. He knew for sure confessing his sins gave him comfort. But other than that, he’s not sure.

“Maybe a hug will help.” Agott commented as she closed the light sigil and the magic took the shape of a butterfly flying in the living room. It was raining and they’re still on a break.

“But by who?” Coco asked back as she’s trying to prevent the Brushbuddy reaching for the conjuring ink Agott used.

“A kiss could also work,” said Tetia as she showed her peers the novel she had just bought on Kalhn. “These novels always describe kissing as something tender and soft that eventually makes the two people melt into each other’s arms. One of the adjectives used is melting so I think it’s supposed to be comforting.”

“So technically a hug?” Richeh glanced at Tetia with a lifted eyebrow. Voice very judging.

“Well.. I don’t know. I have never kissed anyone before!” Tetia puffed her cheeks at the comment.

Qifrey, who was sitting on the couch for the duration of the conversation, just smiled and thought that he needed to check all of Tetia’s novels before buying it. How could a thirteen-year-old learn about kissing already? It’s not like he could read a book on the spot to check the content before buying it. Maybe he should petition for a rating system to be added to books so that no children would read something that’s not age appropriate. He bet Beldaruit would agree with him.

“I think you forgot about one important matter.” Agott raised her head to look at her peers who were sprawled on the rug, then looked up to Qifrey on the couch. “The subject.”

“Well,” Qifrey started. Not really sure how to answer his apprentices. “Hugging all of you gives me warm and fuzzy feelings. Does it count?”

Three of his apprentices sighed, while Agott shook her head in disappointment.

“Warm and fuzzy are a good start. But comfort is more than that.” Tetia stood up with hands on her hips like she’s scolding a kid younger than her and not her teacher. “Comfort means you’re at ease. Relaxed. And most importantly, safe.”

“So we should test it more.” Richeh piped matter-of-factly.

“Personally, I like when a hug could envelop me like a coccoon. Safe and warm,” said Coco as she patted the Brushbuddy who managed to sneak to eat the conjuring ink.

“Then another adult would be needed since we cannot give that safe feeling to Professor Qifrey.” Agott pointed her wand at Coco.

As if on cue, heavy footsteps being dragged from the nearest hallway made them all turn to see Olruggio coming out while yawning and stretching his neck. A pop could be heard before he spotted the five of them in front of the hearth.

“What are you all doing instead of studying?” The fire witch, who obviously just woke up, asked as he walked to the kitchen.

“We’re still on break, Professor.” Tetia replied back.

“Oh!” Coco quipped and her peers looked at her. Coco’s yellow eyes trailed after Olruggio who had just descended to the kitchen.

The other three apprentices parted their lips and an understanding occurred to all of them.

Tetia and Coco stood up and followed the black-haired witch to the kitchen. Obviously, executing their not-so-obvious plan. “Professor Olly, can you help us with an experiment?”

Qifrey flicked his eye to the rest of his apprentices who looked at him with bright and curious eyes. He closed his book and put it aside. The least he could do was to humor his apprentices.

Truth to be told, Qifrey didn’t remember the last time he had been hugged apart when he’s twelve. When he flicked Beldaruit’s hands who was trying to pat his head, the man never tried to touch him again without his consent. That one time Olruggio had hugged him desperately was when he thought Qifrey was about to drown himself. Other than those two, he didn’t really remember any hugs. To add salt to an injury, not only was he a physically reserved person due to the Silverwood curse, but he’s also an outcast in the witch society so it’s not hard to think why he’s lacking in the physical intimacy department.

When Coco and Tetia managed to push Olruggio to the living room, Qifrey had made a room for the other man to sit. The black-haired man looked at him in silent questioning, which Qifrey only replied with a sheepish smile.

“What’s about this experiment?” The couch dipped as Olruggio sat. His midnight blue eyes looked from the apprentices sitting on the rug to the white-haired man acting as their teacher.

“We’re thinking about how to make Professor Qifrey comfortable,” said Coco and the dark-haired witch raised an eyebrow. “And we come to the conclusion that a hug is a good start.”

“And maybe a kiss if you could help.” Tetia added with a small voice.

“You mean hugging with more steps?” Richeh replied sarcastically.

“What?” Olruggio darted his eyes nervously with a blush beginning to creep in his cheeks.

“How about we start with a hug instead?” Qifrey defused the situation. “So we just need to hug right?”

All the four apprentices nodded eagerly.

Olruggio glanced at Qifrey and the white-haired man shrugged as he’s smiling back. Signalling to do it to satisfy his apprentices. The fire witch raised an eyebrow as if asking are you sure? and the water witch just nodded indicating that he’s sure. Ever the considerate man that he was, Qifrey thought.

“So should we stand or something?” Olruggio asked the girls and they all blinked in unison.

“Oh, yeah, maybe?” Tetia, the initiator of this whole ordeal, answered uncertainly.

“Okay.” Olruggio stood and pulled Qifrey's arm along so the white-haired man also stood. The apprentices scooted over to give the two adults ample space.

Now that they’re standing face to face like this, for some reason, Qifrey’s heart beat loudly. A tiny voice in his mind said that he’d burst into a tree if he actually enjoyed it so he focused his mind on the pitter patter of rain outside the atelier instead.

Olruggio raised his arm and looked at Qifrey with an encouraging look.

Qifrey had seen people hugged. He had hugged the girls before. But hugging another adult? Now that’s a new territory.

Where should he put his arm? How long should a hug be considered normal between adults? What to do during that hug?

Those questions swirled in his mind so he settled to mimic Olruggio instead. But when Olruggio sensed that Qifrey didn’t move beyond that, the black-haired man took the initiative and placed his hands on Qifrey's shoulder and back which was returned.

Since Qifrey was slightly taller, he had the advantage of resting his chin on Olruggio’s shoulder. Albeit awkwardly. The smell of fire, ink, and smoke permeated his nose. The hands in his back and shoulder were warm and his upper body also felt warm. He decided he liked the warm sensation. But was he comfortable?

He’s not quite sure yet.

When Olruggio let go, his face turned a shade darker than usual. He immediately excused himself to grab some food in the kitchen despite the following disappointed voices of the girls.

“So do you feel relaxed just now, Professor Qifrey?” Coco asked curiously. She tilted her head and her scar was cascaded by her short hair. A grin bloomed in her face.

Qifrey took his seat back on the couch and looked at his eager apprentices. He crossed his arms and squinted his eye indicating he’s mulling over the question. “To be honest, I’m not quite sure. It felt nice, but I don’t know about the relaxing part.”

The four girls voiced their disappointment.

“Maybe we should try the kiss,” muttered Tetia under her breath.

“No, we don’t.” An answer came from the kitchen.

“There’s no way someone can immediately relax by command. It needs to be built, so how about doing it repeatedly instead?” Richeh suggested. If there’s anyone who understood comfort came with time, it’s definitely her.

“Then we should hug Professor Qifrey everyday until he can relax over time.” Agott mulled Richeh’s suggestion with a serious face. “How about a minute everyday and two minutes for Professor Olruggio?”

“Okay.”

“Sure.”

“Alright.”

Qifrey glanced at his friend who just climbed up the stairs. He probably had heard everything since there’s no wall between the living room and kitchen that’s why he looked embarrassed. Four versus one. Of course, Olruggio was losing.

●○●○●

Since then, the girls woke Olruggio up in turns. On a particular hard day, two of them were needed to wake the inventor up. While on rare days, Olruggio was awake before the girls could call him out.

Every time Qifrey met him in the morning, the sleep-deprived man would trudge his way to the kitchen to greet them and flipped the hourglass before hugging Qifrey. Some days the hug was quite tight, but some days it was gentle and soothing. But every time they hugged, Olruggio would always whisper for him to relax his shoulder and just enjoy it.

It seemed like the black-haired man had also learnt to ignore the eight googly eyes every time they hugged.

By the third week, the tiny voice had disappeared and Qifrey’s shoulder was not as tense as it used to be when being hugged. He also started to lean his head to Olruggio’s shoulder and placed his hands on the lower back instead of his shoulder. He also noticed Olruggio had started tracing spells on his back which Qifrey would mutter the answer to Olruggio’s ear. If Qifrey answered it wrong, Olruggio would trace the spell again but slower and it sometimes made Qifrey giggle.

Seeing their teachers in their own world, the girls usually made themselves scarce. Even though sometimes Agott needed to drag Tetia away since the girl’s eyes sparkled at the display of affection, saying that they’re melting. Instead, they brainstormed how to make their professor relax other than being hugged. They had tried several things like massaging his shoulder, burrowing him in a pile of soft pillows, and other things.

Their Professor Qifrey always seemed so elegant and effortless while doing anything. But they realized when his face turned soft, his muscles loosened, and a smile came naturally, it was truly the moment he was at ease. Relaxed to the point of comfort.

At the victory, they high-fived and ate the smuggled cookie tins from Beldaruit’s residence in Agott’s room.

●○●○●

Qifrey opened his eyes groggily to the first light of dawn. The pillows his apprentices had stitched were so soft and comfortable that he wanted to go back to sleep for another minute. The snugstone he had never used before was tucked between his hands and chest to warm him up during the night. He always ran colder, that’s why when faced with warmth, he always craved it like a moth to fire. After years denying his desire, the moment he’s allowed to have a semblance of warmth, he got greedy and couldn’t sleep without the snugstone beside him.

But today they’re supposed to watch the yearly dragon migration, that’s why he needed to be up early to prepare lunch since they’re going to have a picnic while observing the dragons.

With a heavy heart, Qifrey opened his eye and looked at the rose-colored sky that reminded him of Tetia’s hair. He blinked the sleep away and stretched before sitting up. Suddenly his vision went black upon the movement. When his vision came back, he was staring at the snugstone in his hands and put it on his desk. His mind was still processing what had happened as he placed his feet on the cold cobbled floor. The cold sensation sent a shiver in his spine and he stood up.

The moment he stood up, his vision went black again for a minute that he needed to use his desk for support before the world returned. What was that?

Frowning, he poured a glass of water and drank it. Thinking maybe he’s dehydrated during the night or something. When he gulped, there’s a painful lump in his throat. He stared at the cup and decided to drink another glass. The painful lump was gone. Weird, he thought.

Then he moved to the wardrobe to retrieve his turtleneck but suddenly he lost his balance. Fortunately, the wardrobe was sturdy so he didn’t fall. He blinked and rotated his feet. Maybe his legs were still asleep. The action of braiding his turtleneck while exercising his legs made him more awake than before.

Maybe he’s just still sleepy, he wondered inwardly.

Next he took the vapor bubble again to pour the water into a basin to wash his face. When the cold water hit his face, he hissed and felt his nose getting runny.

He frowned. Was he sick?

Qifrey checked his forehead, neck, and chest. He’s not burning up so why the symptom?

After dressing up, Qifrey went to the kitchen and began to unload several ingredients. Since it’s a special day, he’s thinking about making some special dishes to go along with it. Sandwiches, carapace yam balls, vegetable stew, and fresh mountain apple juice. He had a plan and he’s starting it by lighting a pyreball to cook the carapace yam.

“Good morning.” Qifrey turned back to see Richeh descended the stairs while rubbing her eyes. Trying to chase the sleep away.

“Good morning.” The white-haired man put down his knife and dried his hands before bending down to hug his apprentices. “I hope you’re having a good rest.”

The experiment had turned into a habit that everyone enjoyed, that's why they continued it.

Richeh sat on the dining table looking at the ingredients spread on it. Her sleep addled mind had gone when she smelt the carapace yam cooking in the kitchen counter. “Can I help you, Professor?”

“Hm..” Qifrey stopped his movement and looked at Richeh. She’s eyeing the ingredients then at him. “How about peeling the mountain apples? I’m thinking about making it into a juice.”

Richeh nodded and Qifrey handed her a small knife. “Careful.”

He had started to let the girls help around the kitchen. They would come in turns every day. Not only was it good for practicing magic, it’s also a good knowledge to know how to cook. Today was Richeh’s turn.

“Professor Qifrey, can you check my spell?” Richeh called out.

Qifrey put the lid back and let the stew cook with medium heat. He went to the table and checked Richeh’s spell. It’s a wind spell that created a small vortex to dice and press whatever ingredients were put into a bowl and turned it into a juice. Her signature small sigils littered along the circle to make sure the end process was neat and tidy by adding water sigil to capture any droplets that might escape the bowl.

“It’s good. You may proceed.” Qifrey gave back the sigil and Richeh began to work with the peeled fruits and a large glass container found in the lower shelf.

“Morning.” Agott greeted as she walked down. “Do you need more help?”

“Morning.” Qifrey and Richeh said in tandem before the blue-haired girl went back to her work.

“If you’re offering, can you help me monitor the stew?” Qifrey said as he bent down to hug Agott. But the moment he rose, his vision went black again.

“Professor?” Agott asked worriedly. “Your face is pale.”

Qifrey closed his eye to chase the lingering darkness away, but was met by a ringing in his ears instead. He gasped and propped himself with the table, clattering the utensils Richeh was about to use when he distantly heard his name being called by Agott and Richeh shouting for Olruggio’s name. The ringing got louder and louder until it drowned the sound around him. It felt like he’s drowning again. Water filled his lungs as he gasped for air but to no avail. His vision grew hazy with each passing seconds only registering a looming figure of black and four little rainbow surrounding him before it turned pitch black and his consciousness was cut off.

●○●○●

Qifrey had always hated water. His relationship with the clear liquid that was so important for the life in this world was complicated. On one hand, he feared it, but on the other hand, he still needed it. After all he’s still human and humans need water. In fact, the only reason he chose water as his specialized element was due to the fact that he hated it so much that by gaining an upper hand on it felt like he had a semblance of control in his life.

The process to wield water was a turbulent one. He remembered being twelve and new to magic. He would get soaked so many times when his spell failed. His clothes would stick to his body uncomfortably and he would gasp as if he’s being drowned once again. Sometimes he would disassociate and just stare at nothing, only to feel the water trickling down his body wrapping its unsolidified form around his neck and legs like a noose ready to snuff out his life.

Every time it happened, Beldaruit would usher him to be dried off properly as he reassured him that failing was normal and it’s part of the process.

On rare occasions, Qifrey would get nightmares in the form of him being dunked into the water by larger calloused hands while he thrashed as much as he could but failed and drowned until his lungs were full of water and his consciousness grew faded.

During those times, he would wake up on the floor and the deep hum of the sea above would remind him that he’s in fact under the water. He would stare at the dark grey water with empty eye until Beldaruit fetched him for breakfast.

By the time he’s fifteen, he’s confident to say he had finally mastered the art of water magic so the next thing he did was to sew every clothes he possessed with water repellent magic. He already had this idea for a long time but couldn’t tell Beldaruit about it since he felt bad for wasting his money for this insignificant thing. Every time both he and Olruggio did their duty for the Unknowing, Qifrey would linger at the seamstress’ shops to observe how they worked. Olruggio had teased him once about being attracted to the seamstress, but backtracked when he saw Qifrey looking intently at their hands instead of their face. The prodigy didn’t ask. He just waited for Qifrey while tinkering with his own contraption.

Two weeks later, Qifrey proudly presented his anti-water robes to Olruggio with a smug face. He even offered to sew Olruggio’s robe in a similar way since the black-haired prodigy was specialized in fire magic and water is the antithesis of fire. But Olruggio refused and showed him his own creation instead. Two rings with half spell in each. When combined, the spell activated and vaporized any liquid with warm fire from any surface.

“It’s for you,” Olruggio said with a blush on his cheeks. “Since you hate getting wet.”

Qifrey parted his lips in shock. His remaining aquamarine eye stared at the rings Olruggio had placed in his hands. He never thought someone would go this far for him.

When he managed to get his bearing back, Qifrey pulled the rings to his heart and croaked a thank you. As expected, the Silverwood took hold of that feeling and he took a sharp breath like his lungs had been punched from the inside. Thankfully, Olruggio, who darted his eyes anywhere other than Qifrey’s visage in embarrassment, didn’t notice so Qifrey bidded his farewell hastily, promising to meet the prodigy during dinner.

His legs ran towards a nearby bathroom and he immediately splashed water into his face. The cold water made him hissed and the Silverwood retracted itself back.

One tear.

Two tears.

Soon his vision turned blurry as tears kept falling while he ducked his head under the running water. He bit his lips to prevent any sound 

When his crying had subsided, Qifrey patted his robe to find something to dry himself, but was met by the rings Olruggio gifted him just now. Curiously, he tried it and the air turned warm as water droplets vaporized. Unfortunately, that simple feeling of comfort counted and the Silverwood once again came to life. He dunked his head again. This time leaving the bathroom with half dried hair.

Eighteen found him and Olruggio graduating from their masters. Contrary to his best friend, Qifrey stayed an outcast despite having proven himself as a witch for the past six years. So when Olruggio was swamped by contraptions and noble invitations, Qifrey packed up and left. By that time, he already knew Olruggio was his comfort so he tried to distance himself. Unfortunately, it’s not that easy because apparently distancing himself also gave him a relief and the Silverwood also took hold in it.

Twenty and Qifrey came back to Olruggio who had stayed in an apartment down on Beldaruit’s road.

When he knocked on the wooden door, the face that greeted him looked older and tired than the last time he remembered. A dark rough patch had begun to grow under his nose and dark circles under his eyes showed how sleep-deprived the man was. His best friend didn’t look like twenty.

“Qifrey.”

He remembered how Olruggio’s voice cracked while calling him out and suddenly he’s enveloped by two hands that hugged him so tightly like he’s a balloon that would go away if left unchecked. In a way, he actually did that.

Qifrey placed his hands on Olruggio’s shoulder and patted him like a parent to a child, not knowing what to do. And Olruggio hugged him more tightly that he knocked his breath out. Qifrey’s hands hit Olruggio’s shoulder desperately and the dark-haired man let go. Laughing and inviting him to his house.

The house was a mess. Contraptions, papers, inks, and clothes scattered on the floor like the owner never bothered to clean it up before. Only the dark robe was saved since it was hung in a coat rack. Qifrey couldn’t even see a bed in that place.

Olruggio apologized and kicked his contraptions away to make a room for Qifrey to sit. When they sat face to face like this, Olruggio looked different yet the same. Once they began to talk, it felt like they’re children again.

At the age of twenty five, Qifrey decided to take on the fifth test. If staying with Olruggio was the only way for him to stay alive, then he needed a safety net in case he got too comfortable with him. That safety net, after thinking deep and hard, was to get his own apprentices. Looking around, being a teacher was quite stressful since taking care of kids with various backgrounds was more complicated than it seemed. Kids were emotional and constantly needed to be supervised or else they would run off to who knows where. It’s perfect for him whose life depended on that stressful condition.

He completed the course in three years with flying colors. Olruggio’s little trick about smiling that he had shown him at twelve really helped him to secure his teaching certificate.

Qifrey always knew he didn’t want to build his atelier inside the Great Hall. Not only because he hated the ocean, but also it’s not good for children to grow up in a hostile environment where their teacher was constantly being gossiped about. So when Olruggio offered him a blueprint for his atelier in the abandoned shepherd's house they found on Naakiwan Downs, Qifrey gladly took it. His money gathered from his two years of travels and various odd jobs for the past eight years were enough to build back the house.

What surprised him was Olruggio taking the test to be a Watchful Eye. The job was unpopular since most ateliers would stick to big cities like Kalhn and the Great Hall itself. So when the examiner saw Olruggio rolling up in the administration office to sign up, the old lady raised an eyebrow and stamped his application. It’s no surprise when he’s assigned to Qifrey’s atelier since there’s no outside atelier signing up at the time.

When asked why he’s doing such a thing, Olruggio just shrugged and said he’s sick of the Great Hall.

There’re thousands of arguments to that sentence, but Qifrey kept it to himself and just smiled.

His first apprentice came in the shape of a long-haired little girl at the age of ten clutching her too big of a bag with both of her hands. She looked up at Qifrey and introduced herself as Agott. Agott Arklaum.

Qifrey had seen her paperwork and dealt with it. The reason she’s transferred to his atelier was simple. No one accepted due to the rumors surrounding her. The Great Hall couldn’t let a child from prestige lineage go to waste so they recommended her to him. A teacher who hadn’t had an apprentice even after two years being a teacher.

The next apprentice came in with a wide smile and eager expression. Her rose-colored hair and cheery demeanor brought a brightness in the atelier that he never knew needed. She’s called Tetia and the reason she chose him was simply because his atelier was not under the sea and had a pretty landscape.

His third apprentice, similar to his first, transferred from a rough background. After her first atelier was busted for harmful conduct towards children, Richelette was sent to his atelier while her big brother was sent to Beldaruit’s. Since no complaint had been raised by the siblings, the paperworks for it was a quick one.

His latest apprentice, Coco, was more similar to him. Their introduction to magic was the forbidden magic. To be honest, it was not ideal but here they were anyway. Standing on the side of witches who would scorn them forever. At least she didn’t need to do it alone since he’s here to guide her. Her growth in one year was rapid and she’s close to her first goal. Qifrey would hate it if he’s the reason she failed to save her mother.

Despite his selfish reasons, he ended up with four smart and kind apprentices. No words could express how proud he was of them. If he’s allowed, he wanted to see them grow and take their first steps in the world. If they needed help or simply wanted a place to rest, he would happily provide it.

So that’s why he needed to live.

To live and see his apprentices took their first steps as full-fledged witches.

To live and prove Beldaruit that what he did by taking in Qifrey years ago was not wasted.

To live and stay with Olruggio who always showed him kindness regardless of his actions.

So he needed to live and repay the people who had helped him first because that’s what it meant to be human.

He gasped for air.

●○●○●

Qifrey was gasping for air as he woke up. Hands reaching out for something while his heart beat loudly as it pumped blood to his whole body. His breathing was uneven as if he had just ran a marathon. He propped himself up and sweat trickled down his chin.

After five minutes, his heart rate calmed and his breathing went normal. He rubbed his face and noticed he’s in a white clothes specialized for Healing Spire.

It seemed like he’s back here after only two months being discharged.

“Oh!” A voice came from the door and Qifrey saw Tetia holding the knob. Mouth parted and eyes wide as a saucer. “Professor!”

The girl rushed to hug him in the torso and they fell to the bed with a loud oomph since Qifrey was caught off-guard by the tackle.

“Professor, are you okay?” Tetia immediately released him and backed down.

Qifrey grunted as he propped himself back and leaned on the headboard. He smiled at the girl. “I think I’m okay.”

Tetia gasped. “Wait, I need to tell everyone.”

With that Tetia rushed out of the room and Sinocia appeared. The doctor walked to his side and took his vitals.

“Good morning, Qifrey. Welcome back.” Sinocia grinned as she placed her hand into his forehead. “It seems like your fever has gone down.” She placed her hands on her hips, huffing in annoyance. “Do you know how worried I was when Olruggio and Lord Beldaruit rushed you to the Healing Spire like madmen?”

Qifrey looked blankly at her.

“You’re really blessed, Qifrey.” Sinocia sighed wryly. “You need to see how ridiculous Lord Beldaruit looked holding you, a grown man much taller than him, in his lap while speeding in his sealchair with Olruggio behind him looking frantic. Even Emerlie was amazed by such a fit.” Then she took a chart at the end of his bed and began to write it. “It’s understandable though since you’re practically not breathing when you arrive. The girls were crying while we’re trying to revive you.”

Qifrey couldn’t believe his ears. He’s not breathing?

“Your body was so cold and your lips had turned blue. We almost lost you.” Sinocia looked Qifrey in the eye. “We resorted to electrocuting you and thankfully it worked. You managed to wake up but went unconscious immediately after due to high fever. I guess that’s one hell of a fever you got back there.”

Qifrey gulped. “Are you saying I was dead?”

“Almost.” Sinocia smoothed the rumpled blanket and patted it before opening the curtain. “If your face was not as red as a crab while sleeping, we might think you’re actually dead.”

“Is the fever that bad?” Qifrey asked. Not believing a simple fever would traumatize his apprentices, best friend, and master alike.

“It’s more than fever, Qifrey.” Sinocia crossed her arms and the murky light from the ocean floor gave a solemn mood. “After checking your medical records, you’re literally running on fumes. Hypertension, insomnia, recurring migraines, combined with anxiety and deep depression according to Olruggio, it’s a miracle you’re still standing. I remembered prescribing you medicines for your insomnia and migraines, do you even take them at all?”

Qifrey bowed his head in shame. Those medicines would make him drowsy and fall asleep fully and with the silverwood inside him, he couldn’t risk it so he gave those medicines away instead.

Sinocia sighed. She pulled out the chair for visitors and sat on it. “I can guess what happened based on your last hospitalization though. You witches might not be able to explain it in full detailS, but we, doctors, are trained to observe and make decisions based on what has been provided. Do you want me to continue?”

Qifrey was silent. He unconsciously reached for his shoulder where the Silverwood usually would stir, but it’s not there. Not for the past two and half months at least. So he nodded.

“Based on the information about your long-term affliction, your body and mind needs to be on edge to stop it from activating. Hence the symptoms that have been recorded in the Healing Spire’s medical records. Surprisingly, you actually never got sick. Please note the word never. We’ll get back to that.” Sinocia pointed her finger at Qifrey. Somehow it felt like he’s on a lecture. “And according to Olruggio and your apprentices, for the past two months, they've been trying to make you relax and it’s working. So my best guess for your current condition is that your body is finally catching up at what you’ve missed during those periods.”

Qifrey’s mind connected the dots. An understanding dawned on him.

“You mean..”

“Yes, Qifrey. When someone with high-level of stress finally relaxed, their body eased up and all of the halted natural processes for the body to experience finally caught up to them.” Sinocia looked at Qifrey sympathetically. “In your case, your body has prevented you from getting sick since they need to focus on making you alive while under duress. But when that duress eased up, your body loosened up and all of those prevented sickness hit you in one go and knocked you out for good. We call it post-stress illness. I think it’s really bad that you had stopped breathing though. I could never imagine how much stress you have endured just to stay alive for the past thirty two years.”

“That makes sense.” Qifrey leaned his head on the headboard. Looking at the white ceiling. Did it mean that he’s really free from the Silverwood curse?

“Professor Qifrey!” Four voices made the two adults turn to the sources on the door.

“Are you okay?”

“How do you feel?”

“Can you breathe?"

“Do you feel sick?”

Qifrey smiled as his apprentices surrounded him by climbing into his bed. He’s reminded of how they did it too when he’s bedridden due to the removal of the Silverwood seeds.

“I feel okay. Never been better than this, to be completely honest.” Qifrey put his hands on his laps as he gazed at each of his apprentices. Face free from his glasses. Fortunately, he could still see them clearly. “Sinocia is actually explaining what had happened to my body.”

“I’m actually done.” Sinocia stood up. “Your vitals are surprisingly good so I’ll put you under observation for another three days. If all is good, you can go home. See you.”

The five of them looked at Sinocia’s retreating figure then back to the matter at hand.

“Professor, you really give Richeh a shock for a lifetime. Please don’t do that again. I don’t like that feeling.” The blue-haired girl pulled her hair under her chin in an attempt to hide and pouted.

“Yes, please. I feel like I lost ten years of my life.” Agott huffed. Brows knitted in worry despite her words.

“I think Professor Olruggio had it worse since he looked like he lost all of his life. He practically was crying when the doctors tried to resuscitate you.” Tetia said worriedly. “But you see, he tried to be brave and comforted us all first. He just began to cry when we’re all too exhausted and fell asleep.”

“Please don’t go, Professor. I— I— I don’t know what to do if you’re not here. My mother has turned into stone. Tartah and Custas also have gone with the Brimhat. I’m afraid of being alone on this magical road. So please don’t go, Professor. I don’t want to lose anyone anymore.” Coco gripped his sleeves tightly. Tears threatened to fall.

Qifrey’s heart squeezed at his apprentices’ sudden confession so he wrapped his arms around them and gathered them to his body. He had noticed how the girls had grown and soon his arms probably wouldn’t be able to envelope them together like this anymore. “I’m sorry to give you a fright. I’ll try to take care of myself from now on. I promise.”

The four girls huddled inside his embrace and he laughed as their hair tickled his neck and face.

“What a nice way to wake up, huh.” Olruggio crossed his arms and leaned on the doorframe looking amused.

“Professor Olly, let’s hug together!” Tetia suggested.

“What? No!” Olruggio quickly shot the invitation down and Tetia whined.

“Maybe Professor Olly wanted a private hug instead.” Richeh looked at the black-haired man coyly. Eyebrows wiggling because she couldn’t raise one of them.

“Then we should climb down.” Coco hopped down from the bed, followed by her sister-apprentices.

“How about we give them some privacy? They probably have a lot to talk about.” Agott reasoned as she walked out. “See you, Professor Qifrey. Glad to see you back.”

The other girls followed Agott and bidded their farewell in tandem.

When the two adults were sure that the girls were not within an earshot anymore, Olruggio sat on the edge of Qifrey’s bed.

“How are you holding up?”

“Sinocia said my vitals are good. But she’s putting me under observation for three days before releasing me.” Qifrey smiled. Suddenly feeling tired with all of the interactions. He glanced at the clock and it’s only been a clockmark.

Then Olruggio cut the space between them by hugging him gently. His chin resting on Qifrey’s shoulder and hands placed on his back and waist. “Promise me not to do that again. I don’t think I can handle it the second time.”

Qifrey inhaled Olruggio’s scent deeply. Ink and smoke and fire. The warmth of Olruggio’s body relaxed his mind and soon he found his head leaning on the other man’s shoulder while returning the hug. “I cannot promise you, but I’ll try. I’ll try to take care of myself.”

“Tell me anything. Even if it’s as simple as the street vendor giving you a discount, tell me and I’ll listen. Not as a Watchful Eye, but as someone who cares deeply about you.” The fire witch whispered softly into Qifrey’s ears.

“Oh, Olly. You’re too good for me.” Qifrey buried his face in the crook of Olruggio’s neck.

“I’m not.” Olruggio denied. Qifrey raised his head to look at the other man’s eyes. Confused. “I’m actually very possessive and prone to jealousy. I tend to hide my favorite things away from prying eyes. Fearing they would steal it from me. That’s why I’m kinda glad that you’re an outcast that no one has noticed how lovely you are.”

Qifrey was speechless at the sudden confession.

For all of the lack of human interaction that he had, he tried to compensate for it by observing people so he’s not as blind as people thought about Olruggio’s affection. He knew that the man had feelings for him, but he never forced it upon him so Qifrey just brushed it off. Thinking it would wane as years go by. But unfortunately, Qifrey had underestimated Olruggio’s devotion because apparently those feelings were still there and going strong. And now that he’s hit with the unfiltered truth, he didn’t know what to say. After all, observing and learning by books had its limit and it seemed like today was the day he’s tested.

“Olly, I think you’re─”

“Not mistaken.” Olruggio said firmly. Separating them and holding Qifrey's shoulders to make a point. “Hell, Qifrey. Do you know when erased memories are back, the feelings attached to it are also back? Because every time I knew the truth, there’s one thing in my mind. Making you stay alive so that we can grow old together. I know that sounds cheesy, but that’s genuinely how I feel.”

Qifrey went silent as he gazed into Olruggio’s dark blue eyes. His eyes always reminded Qifrey of the midnight sky full of stars with how bright they were.

“And it’s not really helping that every time the memory wipe happens, I grow more possessive. My mind might not remember, but my body remembers and it developed into a full blown obsession already.” Olruggio blushed so deeply that his neck and ears also turned red. Then he took Qifrey’s hands into his and bowed his head. Whispering, “For all the fame and riches that I possessed is no use if you’re not there.” Qifrey’s heart beat so loudly when Olruggio kissed his knuckles. “I love to see you teach the girls. I love the way you draw magic. I love the way your voice reverberates in the atelier. But most importantly, I love the way you smile and laugh that I hope I can protect it as long as I live.” Olruggio raised his head and took Qifrey’s hands to his face. The beard felt rough under his hands, but it’s soon replaced by a light touch as Olruggio kissed his inner wrist. “Tell me, Qifrey. Can you grant me an entrance to your heart?”

Qifrey never knew a human’s heart could beat this fast without getting into a dangerous situation. If his heart beat faster than this, he’s sure he would pass out and it’s not funny because he just woke up from his coma. The books he had read in the local library and Tetia’s romance novels always described this situation to be intense. But he didn’t know it would be this intense.

The white-haired man gulped. Trying to answer but failed as words had flown away due to his mushy brain.

“You don’t need to answer me now, Qifrey. Take your time. Mull your options. I’ll always be here when you’re ready.”

“No! I mean yes! I mean.. For heaven’s sake, Olly. You can’t spring this question on me upon waking up. This is not fair.” Qifrey stuttered while flapping his hands before it landed on his red face.

Olruggio blinked dumbly with his mouth hanging open.

Now Qifrey felt more embarrassed so he turned his head away to his right so he couldn’t see Olruggio. It seemed like there’s a function for his empty eye socket after all.

“That’s fair. I think I was too hasty.” Olruggio coughed and scooted back to make some space between him and Qifrey.

Qifrey suddenly missed the warmth but he’s not ready to face Olruggio again after his grand confession.

“Olly..”

The fire witch sighed and looked at Qifrey helplessly. “Please spare me. Considering your last stunt, I feel like I need to take the chance.”

Qifrey took a deep breath. He exhaled it and stared directly at Olruggio. “I’m flawed.”

“Me too.”

“I hide a lot of things so I need time to break the habit.”

“We can work on that.”

“I don’t know how relationships work.”

“We can figure it out together.”

“I need time before we can be physically intimate.”

“I don’t mind if we live in celibate as long as I can kiss you.”

“That’s cheesy.”

“Alaira has said that.”

Qifrey sighed. “Are you sure you want to spend the rest of your life with me?”

“I’ve been doing it for twenty years and I don’t see it coming to an end soon.”

“You’re unbelievable, Olly.” Qifrey buried his face on Olruggio’s neck and inhaled the smoky smell from his hair.

“That makes us, I guess.” Olruggio rested his hands on Qifrey’s back. Clearly enjoying the hug.

“Wow, they’re melting.” A voice similar to Tetia whispered.

“Are they gonna kiss?” Richeh asked in a small voice.

“I don’t think so.” Agott answered back.

“I’m so happy.” Coco tried to contain her excitement that a small squeak of nbii could be heard.

Qifrey let go of the hug and looked at the slightly ajar door. “Girls.”

Simultaneous gasps could be heard as they ran away like they had been caught snooping. The pitter patter of footsteps disappeared before Qifrey even could say anything.

“Well, I think the cat is out of the bag.” Olruggio turned to see the door. “It saves us time for the explanation.”

Qifrey laughed.

This time free and genuine.

●○●○●

Qifrey never knew that his bed was so comfortable. All this time he only ever saw it as a piece of furniture where he laid his head and went to the world of darkness with anxiety welling in his chest, fearing that it would be the last time he opened his eyes. This time though, as his consciousness came back, he fluttered his single eye and saw the rose-colored dawn sky. The mix of midnight blue, orange, and red painted the sky with picturesque scenes that he couldn’t help but sighed in relief.

The blanket cocooning him was so warm due to the snugstone he held during the night, while the assorted pillows cushioning his head smelt like Willowgrape grass that he buried his face deeper on it. The fresh and delicate smell helped him breath as the birds outside began to chirp.

When the first ray of sunshine crept into his window, Qifrey moved from his fetal position inside the blanket and sat on the edge of his bed. His hand moved to put the snugstone on the desk as he stood up and lightly stretched. He turned to see his bed and began to tidy it up before pouring a vapor bubble to wash his face and neck. He took his time braiding his turtleneck and forgo his usual robe in favor of his embroidered loose shirt. The weather looked perfect for an outside practice and he knew the girls would appreciate it too after being cooped up in the Great Hall for two weeks.

Nine days. He was unconscious for nine days with fever and fatigue that upon waking up his body was sore from all the lying. He thought the bed also dipped further as he laid mostly on his back, confined to the not-so-big of a bed.

Olruggio told him that the girls were practicing with Beldaruit in the morning and helping around the hospital in the afternoon. Sometimes they would also accompany him to fix some contraptions that had been delivered to the Great Hall. By the time Qifrey was able to leave the Healing Spire, his apprentices were cheering.

The quiet kitchen greeted Qifrey as he made his way to the pot and began to reheat the meat stew he had cooked the previous night. The bread he had asked Olruggio to buy in Kalhn while he’s delivering his contraptions were covered in a cloth with a spell that kept them fresh as the first time they were bought. Then he moved to cook a simple breakfast of eggs and bacon.

By the time Coco arrived, Qifrey already put down the breakfast on the table and greeted her.

“Eh, was I late?” Coco ran to the table and saw the completed dishes. “I’m sorry, Professor.”

Qifrey ruffled her hair. “You’re actually not late. I want to keep it simple this morning. What do you think of practicing outside today?”

Coco looked at the window and nodded. “I think it’s a good day to enjoy the sun. I can practice my earth spell. I’m thinking of perfecting my dome spell.”

“Great. The last earth dome you made is good but it didn’t last long and crumbles easily. To make it able to shield you from an attack, you need to enhance the column signs. Just like Tetia’s sand bed, you need to think about how to make it stay longer.” Qifrey sat on his chair as Coco nodded enthusiastically at the impromptu morning lecture.

“Ah, right!” Coco exclaimed and cheerfully hugged Qifrey. “Good morning, Professor!”

Qifrey laughed as he hugged the girl back.

Soon after, a chorus of greetings came and his apprentices hugged him one by one, before hugging each other in turns. Even the Brushbuddy was smothered by the girls before Qifrey helped it by letting it perched on his shoulder. It seemed the morning hugs had become a tradition in this atelier without his knowing.

When he told the girls his plan for the day, the girls were pumped and inhaled their breakfast at such a fast speed that he’s worried they would get choked. Once done, they washed the dishes and ran to their room to change their clothes and prepare their tools. Qifrey warned them not to run and they said yes but still ran anyway. He chuckled as he tidied the tables and covered Olruggio’s share of breakfast with the cloth used to cover the bread. He also penned a note about their plan and placed it on the same table.

As expected, sunlight and fresh air were better compared to the murky wall of the Great Hall under the ocean. The summer sun was high in the sky but the wind compensated for it to make the weather warm and nice to lay down on the grassy hill of Naakiwan Downs. And that’s what Brushbuddy did as the girls paid attention to his lecture, while the small animal slept in his crossed legs. Snoring lightly after Richeh had snuck three drops of conjuring ink into its mouth.

When Qifrey ended his lecture, the girls immediately slouched with heavy sighs. Except for Agott who was still sitting upright with the heavy book in her crossed legs.

Seeing that, Qifrey coughed to get their attention and they all looked at him expectantly.

“I’ve been thinking.” Qifrey started. Fingers twiddled in front of his chest. “Since all of you have passed the third test without getting the books you desired,” He looked at Coco. “How about we visit the Tower of Tomes and do the tests one more time?”

The four of them stared at him simultaneously.

Sensing no replies, the teacher continued, “The Tower of Tomes holds all of the magic books ever created in this world. It is the largest archive about magic that the knowledge of it needed to be guarded tightly. I know all of you have taken the test to save me and I feel very very grateful for it. But as a teacher,” Qifrey looked at his apprentices one by one. They all looked mature now. But for Qifrey, they’d stay as his little apprentices. “As a teacher, I cannot let you waste your opportunity like this. Olruggio told me you can actually take the test more than once so this time, please take the test and find the books you desire. Make sure to read all of the books you wanted to prepare you to face the world.”

Agott raised her hand. “We actually took the test three times each.”

Qifrey was taken aback. Eye darting from one apprentices to another quickly.

“We actually managed to find the sea monster's weaknesses that the Librarians almost banned us by the second time we went there,” said Richeh. “Three out four were amused and let us through though.” She looked smug for some reason.

“Professor Olruggio actually took the test four times. Counting the first time he had taken it, he’s done it five times already and got banned from the Tower of Tomes entirely,” explained Tetia hesitantly. Eyebrows knitted in confusion. “Did Professor Olly not tell you this?”

“He got banned?!” The Brushbuddy in his laps was jolted awake and scurried to Richeh.

“It seems like we’re the first group of witches to challenge the trials more than once so they create a new rule that a single witch can only do the trial five times maximum.” Coco explained it casually like they’re not the reason the rule was made in the first place. “I actually want to talk to you about this when you’re healthier, but since you brought it up first, I guess the point has been made.”

Qifrey massaged his temple. “Olly had told me about this but he didn’t say anything about you all taking the test three times already.”

“Maybe it slipped up from his mind.” Tetia shrugged.

Qifrey reoriented himself and took a deep sigh. He smiled helplessly towards his apprentices. “Since all of you have passed the test with flying colors, I guess I don’t really need to push you to retake the test. Except for Coco, of course.”

“Well I actually want to take it one more time. There’s something I want to check.” Agott’s tone was so casual that people would think she’s just visiting an ordinary library and not the Tower of Tomes.

“Richeh will pass,” said Richeh immediately.

“Yeah, me too. I don’t think they have books on how to master a new language in an instant without it being a forbidden magic.” Tetia shrugged.

“Then it settled that only Coco and Agott will take the third test again. How about next month?” Qifrey clasped his hands together. Mind still couldn’t believe the information his apprentices had told them. He really needed to talk to Olly.

“Well we can actually take it this weekend,” argued Agott.

“Next month,” said Qifrey in a tone that left no room for argument. Then he sighed fondly. “Since we’re done for the day, please take your time to practice your magic. Call out for me if anything happens, please.”

The girls stood up and went down the hill, chasing each other. Qifrey looked at them fondly from his position up on the hill.

“Rough day, huh?”

A familiar voice made him turn to see Olruggio climbing up the hill. His hands were hidden in his long billowing sleeves. He looked refreshed.

“Just learn some surprising facts from my apprentices.” Qifrey looked up at the black-haired man who was still standing. “They said you’re banned from the Tower of Tomes.”

“Ah..”

“Is that all you have to say?”

“Well you can’t blame me for abusing the opportunity.” Olruggio sat beside him with hands propping his upper body. “I’m desperate and I see the opportunity so I grabbed it.”

“But banned?” Qifrey asked incredulously.

“Actually, I’m banned from the surrounding area too. I think I overdid it with the fire spell to scare the monsters and the Librarians were not amused by it. Now they’re afraid everyone will use fire to pass the test, lowering the difficulty of the test.” The fire witch snorted.

Qifrey laughed. “I can’t believe you.”

“Believe me. It happened. The girls can testify to it.” Olruggio smirked.

“All of that and it’s wasted on me.” Qifrey looked away remorsefully. Remembering that Olruggio also wasted his first test for him too.

A warm hand touched his left cheek. “Qifrey, look at me.”

Qifrey complied and saw Olruggio looking so serious. “It’s not a waste. I will do it again and again if it means I could save you.”

“You’re really too good for me, Olly,” said Qifrey wistfully.

“Hey, I think we’ve talked about this ‘too good for me’ thing before.” Olruggio playfully flicked Qifrey’s forehead and Qifrey flinched. “Oh, right.”

“Hm?”

Qifrey felt a warm hand sneaked into his waist and pulled him closer to the owner. Then something soft hit his lips as Olruggio's other hand cradled his right cheek. Warmth spread throughout his body as he melted at the tender kiss.

“Good morning.”

Qifrey couldn’t help but laugh. “It’s afternoon though.”

“I just woke up.” Olruggio leaned his forehead against Qifrey. Hand brushing Qifrey’s carefully placed bangs to see his full face.

“You really need to fix your sleep schedule.” Qifrey closed his eyes as he leaned at the warm and calloused hand.

“One of my many flaws.”

Qifrey broke the contact and turned to see his apprentices chasing each other with sylph shoes across the hills. Magic practice forgotten. Olruggio's hand was still wrapped around his waist as the warmth left by the kiss settled in his body like the snugstone he made. The sun was at its peak but the wind blew gently across the Naakiwan Downs.

He arched his back to take a deep breath.

He could finally breathe.