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Law opens his eyes slowly, his surroundings gradually gaining lines and sharpness. Even in the dark, he can see the old lamp hanging by the wooden ceiling.
Underneath him there’s only a fuzzy carpet, old and weirdly grounding.
A strong snuffle startles him.
He moves his sore neck to the side, trying to understand where this annoying sound comes from.
Of course.
It’s Luffy, snoring from the top of his lungs, spread on the bed with a falling Usopp serving him as a blanket.
He sighs, sitting up with difficulty. He’s covered in bandages and his left arm throbs. He looks around, squinting his golden eyes.
Kyros’ house has been arranged for them to rest after a grueling battle. Not only Luffy and Usopp are there, but other allies as well. Even Bellamy.
Everyone is asleep. Content. Resting.
Law, with his love for routine and previsibility ingrained in his own circadian cycle, has awakened in the middle of the night as he always does. This time, at least, it wasn’t because of a nightmare. And this time he’s finally seemed to have actually slept a little.
With a stretch hardened by his bandages, he stands up, gathering Kikoku, and carefully steps outside.
His thoughts are faster than his heart and the house’s apparent calmness, this stillness punctuated by some stupid snores clashing inside the walls, is just too overwhelming.
Once outside, he walks to the sunflower field. He usually heads to the Tang’s deck when they are not underwater in times like this; tonight, the disguise of this infinite carpet of flowers should be enough. A gentle sea breeze runs through the petals, and the ocean waves hit the stone like an everynight lullaby.
He sits among the flowers, placing Kikoku and his hat by his side. Looking at the calm horizon, he nervously cards his fingers through his oily hair and hugs his bony knees, resting his face on them.
The thoughts never stop.
It’s over.
This should be enough to have them give him a bit of a break.
Dof-
He’s been defeated. His reign of terror is finally over.
Cora is finally avenged.
And it all in a way he hadn’t planned. He’d planned on ending that pink motherfucker sometime, yes. He’d planned on becoming a Shichibukai and forging an alliance with Luffy.
What he hadn’t had in mind and completely slipped off his fingers was getting attached – to whatever process this had been since Punk Hazard, to adventure, to friendship. Having some sort of interest in life. Having perspective.
Getting attached to Luffy.
There is something about him that clutches his chest and rearranges his heartbeat with the efficiency of cardiopulmonary resuscitation and brings warmth back to his blood.
It’s happened over and over ever since the Straw Hat captain punched that stupid Celestial Dragon in Sabaody two years ago.
It’s especially bad when Luffy smiles at him and bursts his invisible bubble of numbness disguised as annoyance. He sees him through the mask.
He sees him.
He’s come to a point of letting himself get attached to that bright smile and that easy punch. He’s learned to admire him to the point of trusting him, even when it meant him fucking with Law’s plans. Luffy’s gut is somehow worthy of trust. And it’s both incredible and terrifying.
Trusting someone else on his life’s mission, of ending the feathered demon, when he’s not the one in control is simply fear-inducing.
And yet, Luffy delivered. He’s just freed Dressrosa. He’s gathered more allies against Kaido. And lifted a burden that’d been weighing on Law’s shoulders ever since he listened to that pistol shoot so many years ago.
“It’s over, Cora,” he mumbles, eyes on the stars. “I’m s-” he stutters, sighing. “I’m sorry I couldn’t save you.”
He wishes Cora was there with him in flesh and cigarette smoke. He’d even let him hug him if the dork wanted to.
“Luffy…” he continues, a stubborn smirk stretching his lips. “I saw him hurt two Celestial Dragons already.” He faintly chuckles. “No offense to you. No idea how you were one of them.”
His breathing gets harder, and soon it drops – the first tear.
“I love you,” he sniffs, fully crying. “Dad.”
The word weighs in his trembling mouth. He never dared say it when Cora was alive.
If people were right, he would listen to it now wherever he is.
Dad.
It’s all so much. This constant state of mourning and guilt-tripping, the hypervigilance, the weight of danger, the smell of death.
And then-
And then, like when the clouds reveal the sun, there seems to be something still hanging proudly. The world is actually beautiful when it’s freed from pain. There is still love in between the violent lines, resisting the ugliness and the paranoia.
There is still love.
This discovery is as soothing as it is daunting. Law’s never allowed himself to get attached or to love anything or anyone besides his crewmates after everything he’d lost. It was just too dangerous. The fact that such a feeling is not only still possible in the world, but not forbidden for him, a cursed being from the beginning, is shocking.
From now on, his life’s perspective is not shaped by going after someone that doesn’t let the flowers bloom. It’s finally about finding out how to open his own blossoms in his old scars.
There is still life ahead.
“Torao?”
Straw Hat’s voice interrupts his thoughts and, quickly wiping his tears, he turns his head.
“Straw hat-ya.”
“Can’t sleep?” Luffy softly asks, waking in his direction.
“Slept enough,” Law shrugs, looking elsewhere as an attempt to hide his crying face.
“Yeah?” Luffy cheerfully smiles, sitting beside him.
They stay in awkward silence for a while as they admire the constellations above.
“What-” Law mutters, suddenly nervous. “What about you?”
“Went out to piss then saw you here,” he says simply. “You okay?” He asks, touching his shoulder.
That question… No one ever asked him that. He never allowed his crewmates to do so. He hated how this question was always charged with the need of politely saying “yes” and how no one really cares about an actual sincere response when asking that.
That question makes the tears come back. It finally sounds genuine.
“Mhm,” Law lies, and he knows Luffy’s very much aware of his lying. But he doesn’t say anything.
Luffy just knowingly caresses his shoulder and it makes him want to cry harder.
“It’s over, Torao,” he whispers.
Simple as that. Why does he always make things seem so simple?
“Wh-” he sobs. “There’s Kaido.”
“I know.” Luffy’s hand reaches his hair, and he soothingly cards his fingers through the dark locks. “But this,” he pauses, serious. “This is over.”
He keeps playing with Law’s hair for a while, and Law vulnerably melts at the touch. His fingernails are blunt and scratches the scalp just right.
Suddenly, Luffy’s hand is not on his head anymore.
“You don’t need to carry the world on your shoulders," Luffy mutters. “We can share!”
Law, a crying mess, turns to him. He’s smiling. Brightly, yes; warmly, of course; but with a fragility, a promise, that is just too personal to share with anyone else. Luffy’s smile hugs him tight and makes his chest ache with want. Of adventures, of life, of him.
“Luffy-ya…” He cries, trembling.
Cupping his cheek with a calloused hand, Luffy leans in and places a chaste kiss on his tear-damp lips.
Luffy’s lips touch his with the delicacy and fire of a sunflower petal. Law flutters his eyes shut in instinct.
“We’re together,” he mutters against his mouth, “okay?”
Law doesn’t open his eyes. He doesn’t dare. He’s not okay. But he kind of is now.
Somehow this makes sense in his overworked brain.
Panting and completely unable to formulate a verbal response, Law does the last thing he’d planned in his life (but one of the top things he’s been, well… fantasizing about): gripping Luffy’s nape hairs, he clashes their lips together.
He needs more of his mouth. Of Luffy. He brushes his lips on his mouth feverishly, still crying, trying to map the taste of the Straw Hat captain. He might not even reciprocate the kiss. It’s fine. He just needs to savor him, to discover the sunshine in his crimson lips. They always seem to form an answer when they smile. Why wouldn’t they tell him what to do through a kiss as well?
Chuckling, Luffy eagerly kisses him back. Like he’s interested. Like Law is worth it.
Shit, why does he always treat him like he’s so worthy of it all?
Luffy’s lips, in this dance, speak of the existence of desire. Adventure. Of an inextinguishable fire. Of the beauty of life.
With a sob, Law licks his lips hungrily, and Luffy happily parts his mouth. While their tongues clash and dance together in an intoxicating rhythm, Luffy pulls him down by the lapels of his coat, making him cage Luffy on the ground.
Law parts the kiss, looking at Luffy beneath him. Straw Hat looks at him fondly, not expecting words or justifications. One of Law’s tears falls on the scar on his youthful face, and Luffy extends his calloused hand to wipe Law’s eyes softly. Not urging him to stop crying, but telling him, with a single motion of his hand, that if Law ever needs to cry, he’s there to wipe his tears.
The beauty in Luffy is not denying pain exists. It’s assuming – knowing – there’s light beyond it.
Trying to lean down to kiss him again, his wounded left arm plays a trick on him and they hit their faces pathetically. Luffy’s immediate response is to laugh loudly, freely, brightly and hug Law tight as his head rests on the crook of Luffy’s neck.
“Shut up,” Law mutters, chuckling as he wets Luffy’s ear.
“Shishishi,” Luffy laughs harder.
It’s infectious. And so, so beautiful.
Off guard, Law starts laughing, too. It’s shy at first, but soon it feels like his stomach will explode and his air won’t be enough. He doesn’t know why he’s laughing, to be exact. What he does know is that it’s been forever since he last did it. And it feels liberating.
Lungs fully capable again, he raises his head from Luffy’s neck and leans down for a slow kiss. Luffy complies with a shiver-inducing hum.
They keep kissing lazily as the Sun starts to set, its beams bringing the promise of a new day.
There’s life ahead.
The sunshine playing with his mouth and rearranging his chest has promised him so.