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My chest hurts; it burns and stings. My vision is blurred; I can’t make out anyone or anything. Everything feels indifferent, dark, and monotonous. I am nothing and no one; I still don’t know who I am, and I don’t have the will to find out. Tears stream from my eyes, glistening in the moonlight. The same thoughts constantly cross my mind, as I ask myself: “When will this end? Is this perhaps a punishment I deserve?”
When the sun began to rise, I realized that, once again, I hadn’t been able to sleep. I got up, and in no time, I was ready to leave. Even feeling the sun’s warmth, my body remains as cold as ice. Not even appreciating the light emanating from the star has made me feel any different. I am lost. “Chaos”—that’s what they call disorder—that is what lies within me: a withered lotus beyond repair. I wait patiently for my final decline.
I looked around the room. “It looks like a prison,” I thought, though it’s surely better than my own inner cage. As I entered the conference room, I scanned the room, but all I could see were faceless people. I stopped paying attention to that detail a long time ago. The administrator spoke at length until it was time for a break. Sitting apart from the rest, I had no appetite. Lost in my thoughts, I’m so absorbed that I don’t notice the glowing light in front of me.
It feels warm, beautiful, and perfect. It seems unreal. My mind is focused solely on wanting to touch it, to touch that light. I never thought I’d be able to feel anything again. That person’s face began to come into view before my eyes. I can’t believe it; I’m stunned. In a sweet voice, she says to me, “Hello! Do you mind if I join you?” I shook my head, and she sat down. The minutes felt like hours. We checked the time and went back to the meeting room. My mind thinks of nothing but the sensation I just experienced. It intrigues me so much—could it be that I’m not completely withered yet?...