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“One-hundred and two.”
Toni groaned, head falling back against the silk pillow. That small, two second movement was enough to make her head swim. She’d love to lift her arms to rub the ache away, but they feel so heavy. Those, too, end up ground to the bed by gravity.
“Just as I suspected,” Cheryl continues. “You are riddled with fever.”
“You don’t say,” she coughs. “How’d you figure that one, babe?”
“I shall chalk the attitude up to your dire cold.”
If this is a cold, Toni would hate to know what the flu feels like. Prior to this morning, she couldn’t tell you what either felt like if you asked. She can’t remember the last time she was sick. Usually she gets a stuffy nose around springtime, but nothing this severe. She hasn’t been bedridden-sick since middle school, back when all her problems could be solved by her grandpa’s soup. A few warm meals and herbal tea, paired with a poorly handmade card from Fangs and Sweet Pea, always did the trick.
Except she’s not living with her grandpa anymore, and she doubts the guys would make her a card at this age. They haven’t spoken much since she was thrown from the Serpents. She’s sure the Poisons would come visit her if she asked, but she’s got a gut feeling Cheryl wouldn’t allow that. Alone time has been rare since they formed their girl gang. What has been a much needed breather for Toni has turned into nothing but anxiety for Cheryl. She’s not blind, she can tell when her girlfriend is stuck in her head about something. She’s just not sure she wants to bring it up.
“Sorry,” Toni mutters. “I don’t exactly feel like myself today.”
Cheryl smiles sympathetically, reaching a hand out to stroke the hair from Toni’s forehead. It’s a gesture that reminds her painfully of her childhood, a time she can never return to. That nostalgia is more visceral now that she’s been exiled from her found family.
“Fear not, TT,” she chimes. “I’ll become a loyal night nurse for you.”
“A night nurse, huh?” Toni raises an eyebrow. “What all does that entail?”
Cheryl boops her nose. “None of that while you’re sick. Please don’t take offense, but I prefer to stay in top shape for my Vixens.”
“I know you do,” she smiles. “I’ll just have to get better quick then.”
“Mhm, but not too soon.”
Before she can ask what she means by that, Cheryl is standing. The mattress bounces back with her weight lifted, allowing Toni more space to stretch her legs.
“Going somewhere?”
“As long as you’re in my chambers, you don’t have to worry about lifting a finger,” Cheryl promises. “I’ll prepare a tray of food, vitamins, and tea for you.”
Toni has half a mind to make a snarky comment about how she’s the one doing all the lifting when she’s in Cheryl’s “chambers,” but she bites her tongue. There’s nothing she can do about her current state, but it would be bad if both of them got sick. No leader for the Pretty Poisons or the River Vixens. The town would fall apart without its leading ladies.
“Can the food be soup?”
It’s a childish thing to ask, but, well…Cheryl did say she’d take care of her. Cheryl’s probably thrilled to have an excuse to dote on her girlfriend like this. She’s not often trusted with things like this. Toni may do most of the comforting, but Cheryl is a caretaker at heart. The look of glee on her face when she read Toni’s fever did not go unnoticed. It’s both sweet and mildly threatening. That’s fine though, she kinda likes it when Cheryl scares her.
“If that is what my TT wants,” Cheryl beams. “Tomato or chicken noodle?”
“Chicken noodle.”
“Coming right up,” she claps. “I assume jasmine for the tea?”
“And maybe a roll on the side?”
“Consider it done,” she says. “If you think of anything else while I’m away, just ring for me.”
Toni turns her attention to the old silver bell on their nightstand. Can they not do anything normally around here?
“Alright, I will do that.”
“Perfect.”
~
Toni still aches for her childhood. Days spent playing in the woods with Fangs, and listening to live music at the Whyte Wyrm. It may not have looked like how most Riverdale children would describe their childhoods, but that made it all the more special. Her family was larger than most children could ever imagine, and ten times as supportive. She grew up knowing that she was never alone, as long as she stayed with the Serpents. They would take care of her, provide for her whatever she needed. And one day, if she stayed loyal, she would become their queen.
She still believes in that dream, no one can take that from her. Not Jughead, or any of her other so-called “friends.” One day, she’ll return to the Serpents, and overthrow the tyranny of the Jones family. She respects them, she’d even say that she generally likes them, but when it comes to a leader, she trusts no one but herself. She’s been a Serpent longer than almost anyone there. She understands what it means to be a Serpent more than Jughead ever could. She would do more for them than he could, she’d lead them with much more compassion and awareness. She’d put the betterment of the group above her own wants. More importantly, if she’d been chosen to lead, it would have been for reasons other than nepotism.
That’s a mean thing to think, she doesn’t really believe that. Okay, maybe she does, but she knows there’s more to it. It’s not that Jughead is a bad Serpent, he’s just not the leader they need. If he hadn’t been FP’s son (and a man), Toni is sure it would have been her. Who else knows and loves the Serpents as much as she does? Who else has been a Serpent as long as she has? Certainly not Jughead Jones.
As it happens, she’s not a Serpent anymore. She has a new gang now, one that’s entirely her own. And she loves that, she truly loves having something that’s just for herself. She loves that Cheryl gave that to her. She loves that it’s all girl, unable to fall victim to patriarchal decisions and traditions. But it’s not the same. Serpent Queen has been her dream for as long as she can remember. Now that title has gone to the current leader’s closet-case girlfriend (that’s another mean thing to say, oops), who isn’t even a Serpent. Everything she wanted was stripped from her in a single moment, without so much as a discussion. One single meeting was all it took for her to lose her family and her future.
Giving up is not in her nature, she’ll be back. She knows she’ll be back. It’s a pain to wait though, and she can’t help but dwell on what’s happening to the Serpents without her. Jughead’s got them chasing down some board game cult, endangering her closest friends to satisfy his own curiosity. She knows she shouldn’t judge, not when she has no idea what the chase is actually like, but she’s still wary. It’s not the kind of work the Serpents usually do. It’s not what they should be doing. They should be trying to avoid a gang war, not hurdling towards one. If Toni were in charge, this is the last thing they’d be doing. She’d focus on reshaping their image, doing good for the community. Maybe rebranding them into more of an activist group. Whatever she’d do, she’d make sure to put the best interest of the gang first.
Getting sick as a child, she always had more than one person looking out for her. Her grandparents kept her locked in her bedroom, watching cartoons and eating chicken noodle soup. But she was never alone. Her grandma would sit with her and tell her stories, reading her books when she was really little. She’d have visitors, other children who grew up in the Serpents. Some are still with her, others dropped out or moved away. They could never stay long, but they’d show up to bring gifts or have a chat. She’s never known a life without that kind of support, not until today.
“Bon appétit!”
And then there’s Cheryl Blossom.
She sits the silver tray down on Toni’s lap. It’s everything she ordered- soup, a roll, and jasmine tea. There’s also a cup of vitamins, a pack of tissues, and a tiny daisy in a clear vase.
Cheryl is careful lowering herself onto the edge of the bed, so as not to spill anything. Her red robe is only a shade lighter than the comforter, creating the subtlest contrast. Her backside rests against Toni’s legs, bringing warmth to her cold body. She’s under a thick comforter and bed sheet, wearing boxers and an old t-shirt, and yet she’s still freezing. By contrast, her lover is a phoenix.
She returns Cheryl’s smile, half-heartedly.
“Thanks, babe.”
“I hope everything is to your liking,” she says, earnestly. “Please let me know if it’s not, I don’t mind making something else.”
“It looks incredible.”
To prove her point, she swallows a spoonful of soup. As expected, it’s piping hot, but she has the foresight to blow on it first. The burst of flavor in her cold, dry mouth can only be described as heavenly. She barely conceals a moan at the taste. Her girlfriend doesn’t cook often, but when she does she never disappoints.
“Does it taste as good as it looks?”
“Even better,” Toni sighs. “Thanks, Cheryl.”
“You said that already,” she teases. “But you are very welcome. Anything for my dearest.”
It’s true that she’s used to support, used to family, but she’s never met anyone as attentive as Cheryl. It’s overwhelming, the way Cheryl zeroes in on her. She’ll drop everything to worry over Toni, to give her undivided attention. Hence the excitement over her fever, Cheryl is always looking for an excuse to make Toni her entire world. Add that intensity to their living situation, and Toni feels as though her entire life is enshrouded in Cheryl. She’s inescapable, holding Toni’s hand down every hallway. Nowadays, she can’t go anywhere without Cheryl whispering in her ear or pulling her into her arms. It’s…nice. She doesn’t dislike it, the attention feels great. But she needs her space. Freedom is one of her top priorities, last year she would’ve hated being tied down like this. She’s not sure what changed.
“What would I do without you?”
“I’m sure you’d be just as wonderful as you are now,” Cheryl praises. “It’s I who would be utterly lost without you.”
Love, that’s what changed. She loves Cheryl enough to put up with all her crazy. After losing everything, Cheryl made it to where she never had to feel alone. She gave her a new home, a new gang, a new family, and something entirely new on top of all of that. The pain she’s been through is insurmountable, and yet she still has so much love to give. She spends it all on Toni, uplifting her every chance she gets. So it’s understandably confusing when Cheryl can do all that and still make her feel so trapped.
It’s just overexposure, they’ve been together too long. Toni should be grateful for the annoyance, they’re not dissimilar to an old married couple. They just need some space, that’s all. Toni needs space. She’s not going to bring that up when Cheryl’s just made soup for her, but she’ll make a mental note to talk about it soon.
“Don’t say that,” Toni says after another spoonful. “You’d make it.”
Her smile falls for a moment. “I sincerely doubt that.”
“Cheryl…”
“I shan’t have you worrying over me in this condition,” she abruptly changes the subject. “How are you feeling?”
When Cheryl shuts down a conversation, that’s the end of it. She’s not one that can be coaxed into talking about her feelings, she has to be in the mood for it.
Toni takes a bite of her roll- warm, fluffy, unimaginably perfect. She’s going to need more of these as soon as possible, preferably a whole stack.
“Like shit,” she answers, honestly. “But this is helping.”
“I’m glad,” she raises an eyebrow. “Would you like more rolls?”
She pauses, having already scarfed down the one she had. Her bowl of soup is also half-empty. She must have been hungrier than she realized. Then again, this isn’t unusual for her. She’s the only person in town who can rival Jughead’s appetite.
“Was it that obvious?”
Cheryl’s red smile is unmistakably affectionate. “I’ll have more out soon.”
Before she can stand, Toni reaches out to stop her with a hand on her wrist. Not gripping, not demanding, just holding. That’s all it takes for Cheryl to sink back into the mattress.
“Not right now,” she protests. “I want you to sit with me a little while longer.”
The honesty of her own words surprises her. One minute she’s suffocated, the next she never wants to let Cheryl go. She wants space, yet she’s terrified of it. Her feelings have never been entirely one thing or the other. And whatever hesitations she has are outweighed by her love for Cheryl. The competition isn’t even close.
Cheryl is struck by the request as well, mouth falling open slightly. Her brown eyes soften, filled with unadulterated love for the woman before her. For a second, Toni swears she’s about to cry. She gets emotional so easily, it’s one of Toni’s favorite things about her.
“As you wish,” Cheryl nearly whispers. “I’ll stay here for as long as you’d like.”
Toni grins. “Might wanna get comfortable.”
They end up laying next to each other, tray long-forgotten on the nightstand. Toni’s sickness is gone by morning, around the same time Cheryl awakes with a fever.