Work Text:
1
The first time Mel genuinely protested one of Trinity’s nicknames for her happened a few days after the Fourth.
Mel was charting, catching a few minutes between patients, her brow creased adorably. As Trinity walked up to her, she got the intense urge to undo her braid, just like she’d done at karaoke. Feel the soft blonde hair between her fingers again.
“Hey, Melatonin,” Trinity said with a grin, leaning her hip against Mel’s desk. “Have any interesting cases you’d like to share with the class?”
Mel looked up at her, tilting her head to the side. She seemed to hesitate for a second, her eyebrows twitching slightly, before she said, “I don’t really like being called Melatonin. It feels very impersonal, and seems to imply that I’m tired or need to sleep, which I don’t, and when I do, I don’t really need the reminder. It’s also longer than my name, so it doesn’t make much sense as a nickname.”
Trinity straightened up, a little unsure of what to do. A tinge of hurt burned in her chest at Mel not liking the nickname, but … there was also something kind of hot about her finally standing up for herself?
What had made her feel comfortable to finally do so? Was it the karaoke? Trinity hoped so. Hoped that their friendship had finally moved to a new level.
“Uh, all right,” Trinity said, lifting her hands up in surrender. “I guess I’ll have to find a new one, then.”
Mel opened her mouth to say something, but Javadi cut into the conversation before she got the opportunity to. “Sorry, what?”
Trinity turned to look at Crash, also charting, whose face was cartoonishly indignant. Just like Mel, she was very expressive, but Trinity didn’t find it nearly as charming on Javadi.
“What?” Trinity asked.
“You call me Crash for a year, even though you know I hate it, but Mel says something one time and you’re immediately ready to find a new nickname for her?”
Trinity pursed her lips, not looking at Mel. She knew she didn’t have a good excuse to combat Javadi’s accusation. Other than the fact that making Javadi uncomfortable was funny, and making Mel uncomfortable made something painful tug at her heart — which she obviously couldn’t say.
She was saved from having to explain herself by an incoming trauma, which she immediately jumped on. She pointedly ignored the look Crash gave her.
As Trinity did chest compressions, she glanced over at Mel’s focused eyes and steady hands working on the patient. This human embodiment of sunshine, who so rarely advocated for herself. Who had made a very easy, clear boundary — one that made it obvious Mel finally felt more comfortable around her.
As Mel’s shoulder brushed hers, Trinity decided to make it her new mission to find a nickname Mel actually liked.
2
A few days later, after six hours of a thrillingly busy shift and nothing but her meager breakfast in her stomach, Trinity finally managed to steal a few minutes in the break room. It was blessedly empty, and she let out a long, hard breath. Running from trauma to trauma was exciting, but not as fun when the adrenaline crash caught up to you the moment you took a breather.
As she started wolfing down a protein bar, Mel and Emma entered the room, laughing quietly to each other about something. The two had started to become friends since the Fourth, and Trinity was trying her best to not be jealous. She was also trying not to be jealous of Langdon, which she was even less successful about. So.
She wanted to be Mel’s best friend at work. Was that so much to ask?
“Oh, hi, Trinity,” Mel said with a beaming smile that did something weird to Trinity’s insides.
“Hey,” Trinity said, watching as the two women took their lunchboxes out of the fridge. Because of course they packed actual lunches instead of just buying, like, twenty protein bars a week. “You think you’ll have time to eat that?”
Mel shrugged. “Things seemed to have, you know…” Calmed down a bit, her very expressive eyes conveyed, although Mel was wise enough to not say it out loud. “So I’m hopeful.” She sat down in the chair beside Trinity, her knee brushing Trinity’s thigh.
Emma, after having found a fork, sat down opposite Mel and opened her lunchbox, full of fruits and nuts and tiny sandwiches, looking like a fucking bento box. Trinity tried not to salivate. As Emma stuck her fork through a cube of watermelon, something sparked in Trinity’s mind.
She nudged Mel’s knee with her thigh. “Hey! Maybe I’ll call you Melon?” Trinity honestly really liked that; it was cute and sweet, just like Mel.
Mel’s face scrunched up exactly like it had done when she’d sucked on the lime from Trinity’s mojito at the karaoke bar. Trinity laughed.
“Not a fan?”
“I’m not a fruit,” Mel said matter-of-factly.
Trinity shrugged playfully. “I am.”
Mel tilted her head to the side. “...What?”
“Like, gay,” Trinity explained. “Fruity, you know?”
“Oh!” Mel’s cheeks turned a little pink, like they often did when she’d missed a joke or social cue. Trinity found it disgustingly adorable. “Maybe I am a fruit, then? Are bisexuals also fruits?”
This was where Trinity’s brain stopped working.
Trinity had known Mel for over ten months now. They’d spoken at least a little on every shift they’d shared. They must’ve had hundreds of conversations by now. They’d been out drinking together for fuck’s sake!
And never, not once, had Mel mentioned that she was bisexual. Trinity had talked about her own endeavors with women — mostly Garcia — several times. Not once had Mel mentioned that she was queer too. Trinity almost felt betrayed. Why hadn’t Mel told her?
But with the casualness that Mel had brought it up now, it didn’t seem like it had been an intentional choice. It probably just hadn’t seemed natural for her to mention it until this moment.
This moment, where her knee was still touching Trinity’s thigh, and all Trinity could think about was if Mel had ever kissed a woman before — and if Trinity could do it better.
Which was a strange thought to have about your platonic work not-quite-bestie.
“Trinity?” Mel said, waving a hand in front of Trinity’s eyes. “Are you okay?”
Trinity cleared her throat. “Uh… Yeah. Yeah, I just remembered I have a patient to check on. Uh, enjoy your lunch, Melon.”
“Still not a fan,” Mel reminded her.
Trinity just saluted the two women and hurried out of the break room.
Usually, learning that a woman Trinity was not into was sapphic did not affect her much. She’d think it was neat, another woman on the team, and then she’d move on. When it came to her friends, she cared a little more, obviously, but it was still not something she spent an unhealthy amount of time thinking about. She’d think it was cool, maybe make a plan to go with them to a gay bar, and that would be it.
Mel’s bisexuality was practically the only thing Trinity could think about for the next three days straight. Or the next three days gay. Whatever. There were three days with no Mel in Trinity’s life — because Trinity had one day off, and then Mel had the next two days off — and those three days were completely occupied by thoughts of Mel King’s bisexuality.
Usually, Trinity would not have spent much time thinking about her coworker who wasn’t even there. She didn’t think much about Samira, for instance, who was also off those two days. She didn’t think about Samira at all, really. But she did think about Mel. A lot.
She thought about her hair, about running her hands through it when she’d been too drunk to properly appreciate it. She thought about her cute little frowns, the little tilts of her head, the way she scrunched up her nose. She thought about her hazel eyes that glittered any time anyone was even remotely nice to her. She thought about the moles on her arm, under her eye, and wondered where else they might be.
Mel King was bisexual, and it was messing with Trinity’s brain big time.
So much so that Garcia even noticed. Trinity, Mel and a few others were working on a trauma when Garcia sauntered into the room. Usually, Trinity would’ve felt a little thrill run through her at Garcia’s presence, but Mel currently was the only thing on her mind. Mel had come bouncing in on a fucking rainbow, clearly energized after her two day break, and Trinity hadn’t been able to take her eyes off her the whole shift.
“What do we have here?” Garcia asked, her voice close to Trinity’s ear.
Trinity blinked, finally tearing her eyes away from Mel’s hands working the ultrasound. Garcia’s gaze met Trinity’s, and there was something assessing in her dark brown eyes. Trinity quickly cleared her throat and presented the case.
When it was time to roll the patient up to the OR, Garcia’s eyes once again landed on Trinity. “Wanna join, Santos? Could be an interesting learning case.”
Trinity immediately looked over to Mel, who was busy throwing away her gloves. The hair tie at the end of her braid was about to fall off. Trinity had already been planning on trying to make Mel eat lunch with her. Maybe Mel would let her braid her hair too?
“I’m good,” Trinity said, moving to dispose of her own gloves too. “Maybe next time.”
Garcia’s eyes narrowed. Trinity couldn’t bring herself to care.
3
“Hey, uh…” Trinity paused, trying to wrack her brain for a nickname. She’d gone through a lot of them these past weeks, and Mel still hadn’t liked any of them. “Actually, I’m empty. I’ll think of some to try out tomorrow.”
She sat down heavily in a chair beside Mel. There were technically only twenty minutes left of her shift, but she’d barely been able to do any charting throughout the day, so Trinity knew she wouldn’t get out of here for at least another hour. If she was lucky.
Mel — and Huckleberry and Crash, who were also charting — seemed to be a lot closer to being done. At least Huckleberry had promised to give Trinity a ride home, so he’d also have to stay late. She took some joy in that.
“I still can’t believe you,” Javadi said, snickering a little.
“What?” Trinity demanded.
“That Mel makes you so soft!” The sound of Crash’s laugh was like nails on a chalkboard.
Trinity quickly glanced over to Mel, who was looking very intently at her screen, her ears a little red. Clearly embarrassed.
“She does not,” Trinity shot back.
“I seem to remember both of us loudly protesting our nicknames when you gave them to us,” Dennis said. “And you did not give a shit. But, suddenly, when Mel does it…”
Princess chose that exact moment to walk past, immediately hearing Dennis’ teasing tone and latching onto it. “What are we talking about?”
“Nothing,” Trinity said quickly.
“Santos is trying to find a nickname for Mel she’ll like,” Javadi said.
Apparently, Trinity’s habit of giving mean nicknames was infamous enough that that was all Crash had to say. Princess immediately raised her eyebrows and adopted a knowing smirk. In Tagalog, thankfully, she teased, “Oooh, somebody has a crush.”
“Shut the fuck up,” Trinity hissed back in Tagalog, feeling an angry blush creep up her neck. She did not have a fucking crush on personified sunshine Mel fucking King. She did not.
“What did she say?” asked Mel, her ears still rosy.
Trinity stood up, suddenly desperate to get away from this conversation. “Nothing!” She leveled her gaze on Javadi. “I just started doing it because Mel was being so fucking melodramatic about the nicknames. You know what? Maybe that’s what I’ll start calling her! Melodrama!”
Crash and Huckleberry blinked, looking at each other with big eyes. Crash seemed like she was about to start laughing, the little asshole.
“... That’s not very nice,” said Mel, her voice much more timid than Trinity ever wanted it to be. Trinity’s stomach sank. She hadn’t wanted to hurt Mel. She never wanted to hurt Mel.
She opened her mouth, tried to force an apology out, but she couldn’t do it. The words were stuck in her throat, caught by Dennis’ and Javadi’s surprised gazes.
Instead of apologizing like an adult, Trinity turned on her heels and stalked to the locker rooms. She could do her charting tomorrow. Fuck this place. Fuck these people. Fuck all of this.
In the locker room, she leaned her forehead against the cold metal of her locker. The sensation calmed her down just enough to pack her stuff without tearing anything apart. She’d just slung her backpack over her shoulder when she heard Mel’s voice.
“... Trinity?”
Trinity closed her eyes for a moment, took a deep breath, and turned to face Mel. Of course, Mel’s face was devoid of hurt, instead full of concern. Because Mel was too good for Trinity. Too good for anyone.
“Are you okay?” Mel asked.
“I’m sorry,” Trinity forced out. “I shouldn’t have– I just–”
Mel nodded, like she understood, even though she definitely didn’t. “Was it whatever Princess said?”
Trinity blinked. “Uh…”
“She can be a little rude sometimes,” Mel continued. “It’s understandable if something she said made you react emotionally in the moment.”
Slowly, Trinity started nodding, taking the out. Feeling slightly like a coward. “Yeah. Yeah, she said something that sort of just set me off. Sorry.”
It was kind of true, though, wasn’t it?
“It’s okay,” Mel said softly, a warm smile spreading on her face. Then she wrinkled her nose. “I’m not a big fan of Melodrama. Just so you know.”
Trinity nodded sharply. She wasn’t going to call Mel that ever again. “Got it, boss.”
Mel laughed. “I don’t like that one either.”
Trinity had to look away; looking at a laughing Mel for too long was dangerous. It might make Trinity do something reckless.
4
It was a day like any other in the ED. Quiet, if anything, though no one said it. Trinity almost did, just to tempt the fates into giving them something more interesting than coughs and sprained ankles.
Trinity was walking over to the nurse’s station when she heard raised voices from one of the rooms she passed, making her stop dead in her tracks. A man’s deep voice shouted something, which always made alarm bells ring in Trinity’s head. An angry man was rarely ever good. Then she heard Mel’s voice, shaking just slightly, and the alarm bells turned into fucking sirens.
Trinity stepped into the room without knocking. A man in his fifties, his face red with anger, was gesturing at Mel. Mel stood calmly by the wall, her hands raised in a calming gesture. When Trinity entered, Mel sent her a grateful look, her shoulders lowering just slightly. It made something pleasant zip down Trinity’s spine.
“This bitch won’t let me eat anything!” the man yelled to Trinity, gesturing in a way that made Mel flinch. “Even though I’m fucking starving!”
“This doctor has a good reason to not let you eat,” Trinity said with venom. “Which you’d probably know if you’d actually listened to her.”
“Can I get an actual doctor in here, and not these fucking kids?” The man shouted to… Trinity actually wasn’t sure who, actually. The ED in general, probably, even though the door was closed.
“I’ll get you another doctor,” Trinity promised, opening the door and ushering Mel outside. “Just know that they won’t let you eat anything either, because Dr. King is one of the best doctors we have, and if she doesn’t think you should eat, then no one else will either.”
Trinity closed the door before the man could respond. She turned to check if Mel was okay, but she’d already disappeared. Eyes roaming the ED, Trinity spotted her just as she snuck out to the stairwell. Trinity ached to go after her, but first:
“Dr. Langdon!”
Langdon, who had been standing by the nurse’s station, blinked in confusion at her. Since coming back, the two of them had had plenty of fights, sometimes about medical decisions, sometimes about his addiction. But he kept fucking apologizing, and it was getting exhausting to stand firm in not forgiving him when he was so fucking pathetic — although he didn’t want to tell any more people that he’d stolen the drugs, so he was still pretty fucking shitty in Trinity’s book.
Needless to say, they had not managed to build a professional work relationship yet. Still, they had one thing uniting them: they both really fucking cared about Mel.
Trinity impatiently waved Langdon over, and he finally got the memo and made his way to her.
“What’s up?” Langdon asked suspiciously. Which was fair.
“I need you to take over one of Mel’s patients.”
That got his attention. “Why? What happened?”
Trinity crossed her arms so she wouldn’t clench her hands into fists. “He called her a bitch because she wouldn’t let him eat.”
Langdon’s eyes went dark in a way Trinity imagined her own had when she’d stepped into the patient’s room. Then his face softened into worry. “Is she okay? Should I go check on her?”
Trinity waved him off, already starting to make her way to the stairwell. “I’ll take care of that, you take care of the patient.”
Langdon hesitated for a moment, then nodded sharply and turned to the patient’s room with a stance like he was about to fight this guy. Holy fuck. Mel King might actually one day become the thing that makes Trinity forgive Langdon.
Not today, obviously. She still thought he should tell the ED what he’d done. But if the two of them could band together to make life just a little bit easier for Mel… It might lead to some kind of truce, at least.
When Trinity stepped into the stairwell, Mel was curled in on herself on one of the steps, staring at her phone. Trinity slowly stepped closer, sitting down beside Mel, careful not to touch her. The lava lamp app stared soothingly up at the two of them.
For a little while, they sat in silence. Trinity tried to figure out what to say, but she was at a loss for words. Mel wasn’t fragile by any means, but she probably had specific things she needed when she got like this. A heavy weight formed in Trinity’s stomach at the realization that she had no idea what those things were.
“That guy was an asshole,” Trinity eventually said, keeping her voice soft.
Mel snorted, which Trinity considered a win, but then she shook her head. “He– He was hungry, which I understand, but he was waiting for surgery. I tried explaining it, but he just…”
“He was an asshole,” Trinity repeated. “You’re allowed to say it, you know. Especially when it’s true.”
Mel smiled, just a little. “Yeah. He… He was an asshole.”
Trinity tried her best to suppress her grin. She’d never heard Mel swear before except when she was singing. Why was it kind of hot?
“Well, fuck him,” Trinity said with feeling. “You’re an amazing doctor, Melly.” She tacked on the nickname at the end, one she’d considered for a while now but never had the chance to try out because it felt too… intimate, almost.
But this was pretty intimate, wasn’t it? And Trinity was pretty sure it was going to make Mel laugh, which was a sound she desperately wanted to hear right now.
She was right; Mel let out a small giggle at the nickname, her ears going a little red. Trinity wanted to bite them.
“Melly?” Mel repeated. “That’s new.”
Trinity grinned. “Do you like it?”
Mel considered it for a second, then shook her head. “Not really.”
To her horror, a wave of disappointment crashed down on Trinity. She’d been spinning the nickname around in her mind, imagining the blush on Mel’s cheeks when she finally said it. Imagining Mel liking it. Imagining getting to call Mel ‘Melly’ at work, showing off how close they were, how much they liked each other.
Mel’s rejection of the nickname wasn’t a rejection of Trinity, but it almost felt that way.
Trinity was about to do something embarrassing, like start crying or something, when Mel bumped their shoulders together, bringing her back to the reality of the moment. Mel still wanted to be her friend. She just didn’t like the nickname.
Mel still wanted to be her friend.
“Thank you, by the way,” Mel said softly.
Trinity looked over at her. Her golden hair, neatly in her braid, soft in a way few people knew. Her hazel eyes, framed by long lashes, with a mole under the right one. Her pink lips, probably so, so soft.
Nobody had ever looked as beautiful under fluorescent hospital lights as Mellisa King.
5
“You can fuck Dr. King you know,” Garcia said, causing Trinity to start choking on thin air. “I don’t care.”
The two of them were in Trinity’s bed, about to go to sleep. Trinity had been on her phone, scrolling mindlessly on TikTok — watching people with millions of views make completely baseless health claims — while Garcia had been reading a non-fiction book about neurosurgery. It had been quiet for a while, the kind of quiet that usually hung between them after they’d fucked — not uncomfortable, but not exactly comfortable either. To Trinity, at least, it was heavy with the knowledge that sex was the only thing Garcia ever really wanted from her.
When Garcia had opened her mouth to speak, that had been the last thing Trinity had ever expected her to say. Needless to say, Trinity had no idea how to respond. So she didn’t. She just stared at the woman in bed beside her.
Garcia rolled her eyes. “You’ve been pining after her for weeks now. It’s fucking pathetic to watch.”
“Excuse me?” Trinity said weakly, sitting up in the bed.
“Is she into women?” Garcia asked. When Trinity nodded, she continued, “Then go for it. I don’t mind, as long as you both get tested and all that.”
Trinity’s cheeks burned at the thought of having sex with Mel, which made Garcia bark out a laugh.
“Holy shit, you’re down bad.” Garcia’s face suddenly turned more thoughtful as she added, “I didn’t think ER Barbie was the kind of girl you’d go for, but I get it. She’s cute. And she’s got a nice ass.”
She did, but Trinity knew Mel wouldn’t like being sexualized by her coworkers, so Trinity still said quietly, “Don’t talk about her like that.”
“Whatever,” Garcia said, waving her off. “My point is that you shouldn't stop yourself from going after her because of me. You can sleep with her and still sleep with me, you know? It’s not like we’re dating.”
Trinity didn’t present herself as the type of person who wanted a committed relationship. It was easier to pretend that casual hookups and vague situationships with little communication were the only things she needed. But it wasn’t what she wanted. She wanted a partner. It didn’t necessarily need to be monogamous — she just wanted someone, or multiple someones, to say that they wanted her. All of her.
But saying what she truly wanted opened her up to rejection. Which, of course, was exactly what happened.
“What if… What if I want us to be dating?” Trinity whispered.
She stared at her hands for three whole seconds before she mustered the bravery to look up at Garcia. The other woman’s gaze was cold.
“Then I’d say we want different things,” Garcia said, her tone so hard Trinity almost flinched.
And that was that. They’d been hooking up for over eight months, and just like that, they were done.
Garcia got dressed, packed her things — including the toiletries that had been brought over to the apartment months ago, and had become a physical reminder that at least Trinity had someone, even if it wasn’t in the way she wanted them — and then she left. The door slammed shut behind her, and Trinity stared at it for a long time, trying to figure out how she felt.
She felt small as she walked through the empty apartment, knowing Dennis wouldn’t be back for another two days, knowing she would be even more alone now. She felt nauseous as she stepped into the bathroom, seeing the cup with two toothbrushes and not three. She felt cold as she climbed back into bed, her body the only one to warm it up now.
She felt relieved as she stared up at her ceiling, an enormous weight lifting off her chest.
She felt something almost close to giddiness as her thoughts drifted to golden hair and dark eyes and a bright laugh.
“We’re going out drinking tonight,” Trinity told Mel in the locker room at the beginning of their shift.
She hadn’t slept much after Garcia had left, but she’d gotten a few hours in, and she was ready to dull the pain. Not that there was really that much pain. But there was some, and Trinity was determined to get rid of it with some alcohol and a whole lot of Mel King.
Mel blinked. “Tonight?” She knitted her eyebrows together, considering it. “Becca’s with Adam tonight, so I guess I have time…” She smiled, causing Trinity’s stomach to flip. “Okay. Yes. I’d love to.”
Twelve hours was far too long of a wait, and the shift went by excruciatingly slowly, but, as all things did, it eventually ended. And then the two of them were back in the locker room, getting ready for the evening. Trinity changed to the button up and jeans she’d packed that morning, while Mel just took off her scrubs, revealing a purple T-shirt underneath, and changed into jeans as well.
“You should let your hair down,” Trinity said, taking a few steps closer so she could lean against the locker beside Mel’s.
“Why?”
“‘Cause it looks nice,” Trinity said. “You look nice in the braid too, but that’s work-Mel. Now you’re going-to-a-bar-Mel. That Mel should wear her hair down, I think.” When Mel didn’t immediately undo her braid, Trinity hastily added, “If you want to, obviously.”
“I… Yeah, okay.” Mel giggled a little. “I guess I can have different personas for different occasions.”
“Exactly,” Trinity agreed.
Before she could stop herself, she reached out and carefully pulled the hair tie off Mel’s braid. The braid slowly started coming undone, and Trinity carded her hands through it, once, twice, three times, until it was fully out. Sober, she could finally appreciate this properly, and God, was it something to appreciate.
“Oh,” Mel breathed, and Trinity quickly pulled her hand away.
“Sorry.” Trinity blushed, turning back to her own locker.
“No, it’s– It’s okay.” Mel sounded sincere, but she was also too polite for her own good, so Trinity couldn’t be sure she wasn’t lying.
It was better to pretend she was just lying. Trinity needed to learn to keep her hands to herself.
She cleared her throat. “Let’s go. Huckleberry agreed to drive us there, so we should go meet him before he gets too impatient and drives off to go fuck his farmer girlfriend.”
The bar — a pretty cozy place with dark wooden walls and round tables — was pretty full for a Wednesday. Mel was obviously overwhelmed, even with her earplugs. Trinity found a table in a corner a little away from the crowd and tried to convince Mel to get something to drink. She argued that alcohol would help numb her senses and make her less overwhelmed, but Mel was clearly uncomfortable at the thought of drinking, so Trinity let it go.
Trinity was getting drunk, at least, and Mel thankfully seemed to have no intention of stopping her. Two drinks in, after some small talk about work and Becca and Dennis and reality TV, Trinity finally told her.
“Garcia broke up with me.”
“Oh.” Trinity wished she could read more on Mel’s face than the obvious concern. “I’m so sorry, Trinity. How are you feeling?”
Trinity shrugged. “Don’t know. Honestly? Kind of good. Like, even calling it a breakup feels like an exaggeration of what we were. We weren’t dating, it was just sex.” Mel’s cheeks seemed to turn a little pink at that. “It actually ended because I asked if we could start dating for real.”
Mel’s face twisted into some kind of expression Trinity couldn’t read, before she quickly smoothed it out. “That’s… sad. That she didn’t want that. But I’m glad you feel okay.”
“Yeah, yeah.” Trinity took a sip of her drink, suddenly uncomfortable. She didn’t want to talk to Mel about Garcia.
Garcia, who had told Trinity to ‘go for it’ right before they broke up.
Trinity downed her drink and stood up. “I’m getting another drink.”
A few drinks later, Trinity was feeling warm and mushy, the world not as sharp and painful anymore. Mel was looking at her with an amused expression on her face. She looked transcendent. Like an angel, a goddess, come down on earth to save Trinity from her miserable fucking life.
“Let’s dance!” Trinity yelled, standing up so suddenly the world swayed slightly around her.
Mel laughed, a beautiful, beautiful sound. “No one’s dancing, Trinity.”
That may be true, since it was a Wednesday and this also wasn’t really the kind of place where people danced, but Trinity still wanted to dance, and she couldn’t be bothered to go somewhere else.
“Who cares! Let’s dance like nobody’s watching, right?”
Mel hesitated, looking around. Trinity looked around too, trying to see the place through Mel’s eyes. The bar was dimly lit, and they were still in their little corner, tucked away from everyone else. A fair amount of people had left, so there were fewer people, and the people still there were pretty drunk themselves. No one would pay them much attention.
Trinity turned back to Mel, finding a resigned smile on her face.
“What do you say?” Trinity asked with a grin, holding out her arms for Mel.
“... Fine.” Mel stood up slowly, walking over to her. Trinity expected her to stop at some point, but she placed herself right in the middle of Trinity’s arms. For a second, Trinity stood frozen in place. Then she slowly placed her hands on Mel’s waist.
Mel smiled shyly and placed her hands on Trinity’s shoulders. “This is how you dance, right?”
Trinity coughed. “Uh– Uh, yeah. For sure.”
“Okay,” Mel said, then started swaying to the slow music playing from the speakers.
Trinity needed a moment to adjust to this, to Mel’s hands on her shoulders, to the feeling of her waist under her hands. To the fact that Mel had initiated this. Well, Trinity had asked her to dance, but Mel had made them dance like this.
Eventually, though, Trinity managed to kick her brain back into gear. The woman she was into — because, yeah, Trinity was definitely into Mel, there was no point denying it anymore — was slow dancing with her. Trinity needed to up her fucking game.
Trinity wrapped her arms tighter around Mel, pulling her closer. Mel let out some sort of noise, allowing it, her arms sneaking around Trinity’s neck. Their faces were just inches from each other. Trinity could see the specks of green in Mel’s otherwise brown eyes. Could see the way her pupils were dilated from the dim lighting, could pretend it was because of something else.
It was perfect. It was fucking perfect.
And then Trinity fucked it up.
It was probably because she was drunk. Because she sucked at controlling her mouth even when sober, so when she was drunk there was truly no filter left. And she was so used to flirting with Garcia, so unused to flirting with women who were more shy, more unsure, more careful.
Trinity opened her mouth and whispered, “Hey, sexy.”
And Mel laughed. She fucking laughed.
It was worse than any rejection Trinity had ever experienced. As Mel pulled away, the noise that was usually so beautiful pierced Trinity’s ears like needles. The warmth of Mel’s body disappeared, and Trinity's stomach sank through the floor all the way down to hell.
“I think it’s time for you to get home,” Mel said, turning to their table and picking up her bag. “You’re a bit too drunk, especially considering the fact that you have work tomorrow.”
“I…”
Mel looked back at her, her face as sincere and kind as always. “It’s okay, Trinity. I know you’re drunk, and you miss Dr. Garcia.”
She grabbed Trinity’s bag too, handing it over to her. Trinity took it numbly, feeling her world crash down around her, far too drunk to do anything about it. Mel took hold of Trinity’s arm, guiding her out of the bar as she called an Uber. Trinity looked down at the delicate hand around her bicep, desperately missing Mel’s arms around her neck.
Outside, the fresh air felt just as suffocating as the air inside the bar. The sky, too light-polluted to show off any stars, stared down at her, dark and heavy.
When Mel got off the phone, she smiled kindly at Trinity, squeezing her arm once before letting go. In a light tone, she said, “I’m sure you’ll find someone new who fits that nickname soon enough.”
Trinity almost laughed. As if she was going to go around looking for women to call sexy when Mel was right fucking there. Even if she didn’t want that nickname either. Even if she didn’t want any of Trinity’s pathetic attempts at affection.
+1
After the ‘sexy’ incident, Trinity decided to just stick to calling Mel her name. Since Mel had allowed them all to call her by her first name and Trinity didn’t have to call her Dr. King all the time, it still felt personal enough that Trinity argued to herself that she didn’t need anything more as proof of their friendship. Mel was Mel to everyone else too, sure, but Mel didn’t go out to bars with everyone else, only Trinity. Maybe that was enough.
Mel didn’t mention what had happened at the bar, so neither did Trinity. Mel didn’t act awkward at all around her, so neither did Trinity. Their friendship continued on as usual. It was the best outcome Trinity could’ve hoped for, even if she sometimes dreamt about Mel coming up after a long day at work and whispering ‘hey, sexy’ to her in the locker room.
A few weeks after the night at the bar, Trinity found Mel in the ambulance bay, glaring at her phone. For a second, Trinity hesitated, not wanting to interrupt a FaceTime with Becca. But when Mel didn’t speak, and Trinity didn’t hear any noise from the phone, she walked up to Mel. When she walked closer, she saw that the phone screen was black.
“Everything okay?”
Mel whipped around to look at her. Surprise was quickly overtaken by despair on her face. “Yes. No? I just… Becca and I were going to watch a movie tonight, but she just cancelled to hang out with Adam. I thought we had figured out a good way to divide her time so the two of us could still be together sometimes, but I… I guess not.”
“Oh. Damn. That sucks.” Trinity bit her lip, taking a few steps closer. “But I mean… We could watch a movie together?”
Mel blinked, surprised like she still always was when Trinity invited her to things. It made Trinity’s heart hurt a little. “What?”
“Yeah.” Trinity shrugged, like it was no big deal. “Huckleberry’s at the farm and I don’t have any plans, so… We can watch a movie at my place. Or yours. Whatever you want.”
Mel’s face lit up like the fucking sun. “I’d love to see your place!”
Trinity blushed, suddenly remembering the dirty dishes in the sink and the clothes on her bedroom floor. “Don’t get your hopes up. It’s a pretty shitty apartment.”
“I don’t mind.” Mel waved her off. “Mine is also not great.”
Trinity doubted there was ever a dirty dish in Mel’s sink, but she didn’t argue. She just stared at the gorgeous smile on Mel’s face until an ambulance rushed in and ruined the moment.
When they entered the apartment, Trinity became self-conscious of it in a way she never had before, even the first time she’d shown it to Garcia.
It was a shitty apartment. There was a new problem every week — a leak, bugs, mold, whatever — which had been even more annoying before Dennis lived there. At least now he tried to fix whatever problem they had, then offered to pay a bigger share when they eventually had to get a professional, because he felt so embarrassed that he hadn’t been able to fix it. Trinity had noticed this pattern and had elected not to point it out, because it was saving her a shit ton of money.
Not only was the apartment shitty, Trinity also put in very little effort to make it less shitty. It wasn’t that she didn’t want to. She just didn’t have the fucking energy to, and Dennis wasn’t there half the time. Even when he was, he wasn’t the kind of guy who decided to start cleaning after a 12 hour shift. A thin layer of dust coated pretty much every surface, the floor hadn’t been vacuumed in at least a month, and the kitchen was overflowing with dirty dishes and take out containers.
At least Trinity had somewhat decorated the apartment when she first moved in. She’d hung up posters of her favorite artists, and snatched up the nicest-looking furniture she could find within her budget at yard sales and Facebook marketplace. The couch in the living room was dark purple and very comfortable. The kitchen table was this heavy old wooden thing with flower engravings that an old woman had given her for free, despite the fact that it had probably cost a shit ton of money when she’d originally bought it.
As Trinity toed off her shoes, Mel untied hers and neatly placed them by the shoe rack. Then she looked up, stepped properly into the apartment, and took it all in. Trinity watched her, a heavy weight in her stomach. For some reason, she desperately wanted Mel to like her place.
Mel’s eyes roamed over the apartment, snagging for a second on the dirty kitchen, but quickly moving past it. What seemed to really interest her were the posters on the walls. She moved throughout the apartment, taking in every poster, smiling at some and shaking her head disapprovingly at others.
Trinity sat down on the couch, watching her almost in awe. When Mel broke into a huge smile at Trinity’s Megan Thee Stallion poster, Trinity laughed.
“You a fan?” Trinity asked, even though she already knew the answer. Mel always sang very loudly to Megan Thee Stallion’s songs whenever they played at bars.
“I very much consider myself a Hottie,” Mel said matter-of-factly, not taking her eyes off the poster.
Trinity stared at her for a second, feeling a little lightheaded, trying to make sense of what Mel had just said, willing herself to not respond with, ‘Yeah, you are.’ After a moment, her brain caught up with her and she realized Megan Thee Stallion fans must be called ‘Hotties.’ Trinity cleared her throat and elected to not respond.
When Mel was done taking in the apartment, she sat down on the couch too, curling her legs under herself and turning so she was facing Trinity.
“What do you want to watch?” Trinity asked.
Mel shrugged, eyes still roaming the apartment. Her hands were clasped tightly in front of her. Trinity wasn’t entirely sure what that meant.
Trinity’s stomach suddenly growled very loudly, reminding her that they’d come straight from shift. She laughed. “Also, do you want something to eat? I have, uh… We can order something?”
“Have I done something wrong?” Mel asked suddenly.
Trinity blinked. “Uh… What?”
Mel looked down at her hands, shifting uncomfortably. “I’ve been wanting to ask you for a little while now, but I didn’t know how to do it at work, so I figured this might be a good place. I know I probably haven’t done anything wrong since you invited me to your home, and I don’t think you would’ve done that if you were mad at me. But I’ve just been wondering, since…”
“Since…?” Trinity prompted, feeling a little nauseous. Why would Mel think she was mad at her?
Mel closed her eyes briefly, then looked away, turning her face so Trinity only saw her profile. “You’ve stopped trying to find a nickname for me.”
“... Oh.”
“And I was wondering if maybe I wasn’t receptive enough with the nicknames, so you decided it was easier to give up? Or if I had done something else to upset you recently, or–”
“No, Mel,” Trinity cut her off. “You haven’t done anything wrong.”
Mel’s shoulders visibly dropped. “Oh, that’s good.” She looked over at Trinity, tilting her head curiously. “Why did you stop, then?”
Trinity considered lying. Saying that she’d just run out of nicknames and given up. But she didn’t like lying to Mel, who was always so open and sincere and good. Trinity wanted to be more like that.
“I, uh… Do you remember at the bar a few weeks ago? When we danced?”
Mel nodded, still looking very confused.
It was Trinity’s turn to look down at her hands. She couldn’t look at Mel when she said this, actually. “When I called you sexy and you didn’t like it, I kind of just assumed I’d stepped over a line and it was better to … take a few big steps away from that line so I didn’t cross it again.”
Mel was silent for a moment. Trinity glared down at her hands, willing herself to not cry. She wasn’t used to being this honest with people. Mel opened up something new in her, and it was as exciting as it was terrifying. Especially since there was no world in which Mel reciprocated her feelings. Kind, gentle Mel who so clearly disliked people who were rude and sarcastic and brash. Who had laughed when Trinity had called her sexy.
After a few moments, Mel spoke softly, “You didn’t cross any lines. I didn’t mind you calling me sexy.”
Trinity’s head whipped up to look at Mel. Her hazel eyes were full of something Trinity had never seen in them before. Her cheeks were pink.
“Really?”
Mel nodded, then shrugged one shoulder. “It didn’t make me uncomfortable or anything. I just figured you were too drunk and sort of confusing me with Dr. Garcia, even though we look nothing alike, but you know what I mean.”
Trinity shook her head weakly.
Mel turned even more pink and continued, “What I mean is that I understood that you weren’t calling me sexy. You were … sad and missing Dr. Garcia.”
Trinity blinked. So that was why Mel had laughed. She’d thought Trinity was so drunk that she’d been ready to throw herself at the nearest warm body. She hadn’t even considered that Trinity might mean it.
“Mel…” Trinity said quietly. “I was calling you sexy.”
Mel tilted her head to the side, smiling slightly in the way she did when she was sure she’d missed some kind of joke. “What?”
Trinity shifted so she was sitting closer to Mel, so their knees were touching, their bodies facing each other. She needed to be as clear as possible when she said this. So there would be no confusion on whether or not Mel rejected her. No laughs taken the wrong way. No sentences phrased so that they could be interpreted several ways. Trinity needed to know.
“I was calling you sexy,” Trinity repeated. “I wasn’t thinking about Garcia or anyone else. I was thinking about you. I’ve been thinking about you for a while now.”
Mel blinked, seeming to struggle to take that in.
“In a romantic and sexual way,” Trinity clarified, which made Mel blush beautifully. “That’s how I’ve been thinking about you.” Realizing she still hadn’t been as clear as she should be, she added, “I want you, Mel. Romantically and sexually.”
This was maybe the most honest Trinity had been ever in her life, and it felt uncomfortable as all hell. It was made worse by Mel’s somewhat blank stare as she processed the words. Trinity wanted to melt into the couch and disappear forever. She wasn’t sure if she was going to be able to survive the humiliation if Mel rejected her.
Thankfully she didn’t.
“I want you too,” Mel whispered. Carefully, she reached out and tucked some of Trinity's hair behind her ear, making her shiver.
“Really?” Trinity asked, struggling to believe it. The words didn’t sound real.
I want you too.
“Really,” Mel confirmed. Her cheeks pinked as she added, “Romantically and sexually.”
Trinity laughed softly. Mel’s hand moved to cradle Trinity’s cheek, and she leaned into the touch. It was soft in a way it had never been with Garcia. In a way Trinity perhaps had never experienced before.
“... Can I kiss you?” Mel asked.
Trinity nodded, allowing for Mel to lean in. The kiss was warm and gentle, slow and affectionate. Trinity had never been kissed like this before, with so much tenderness. Like she was something precious that needed to be handled with care. The affection was so overwhelming, it made an unbidden tear squeeze from her eye and roll slowly down her cheek.
Mel, whose hands were cradling Trinity's face, pulled back when she felt the tear. Her face was full of concern. “... Are you okay?”
Trinity nodded, leaning closer to Mel again, desperate to make her forget about the tear. But Mel leaned away, not allowing Trinity to push it away.
“I just…” Trinity leaned back, grateful when Mel still kept her hands on her face. She wanted Mel to hold her forever and ever and ever. “You’re just so gentle. It's… It's really nice.”
Mel’s face melted into a soft smile. “Oh.” She leaned in and kissed Trinity softly again. Against her lips, she said quietly, “You deserve gentleness, Trinity.”
They kissed for a while after that, gentle and loving. It turned more passionate at one point, but even then, Mel was so careful with her. Not in a patronizing way, either. Not in a way that made Trinity feel embarrassed or small or frustrated.
She was tender and soft in a way that showed Trinity with overwhelming certainty that Mel cared about her.
They didn’t do anything more than make out. Mel seemed like she might have been down for it, but Trinity wanted to do this thing right. She wanted them to go slow — go on dates, make out on the couch while watching a movie, call each other to say goodnight. When they had communicated properly, when both felt secure in their relationship, then they could sleep together. Trinity had never really done it this way before, but she desperately wanted to. She wanted something that felt real.
That didn’t stop Trinity from asking Mel if she wanted to sleep over in her bed instead of going home. But, come on, there was a limit to how much self-control a girl could have.
Through a gap in the curtains, a beam of sunlight hit Trinity right in the face, waking her up pretty violently. She groaned, attempting to roll over in bed to get away from the sunlight, and was stopped by something warm and solid beside her.
Mel.
Right. Trinity had confessed her feelings and been met with a gentleness she’d never experienced before. It was fucking terrifying. It was also fucking amazing.
Mel made a cute little noise beside her, rolling over and slowly blinking her eyes open. She was wearing one of Trinity's T-shirts and pajama pants. Mel was in her bed, wearing her clothes, smiling sleepily at her.
It felt like a dream come true. It was a dream come true.
Trinity sat up slightly so she could lean down and press a kiss to Mel’s forehead. “Morning, babe.”
The pet name slipped out without her permission. It was far too early for things like that — they’d literally kissed for the first time last night. Trinity wanted to go slow, do things right, and that included having a proper conversation about what they were and what they wanted, before blurting out pet names.
Trinity was ready to take it back when Mel blushed and smiled. “Oh, I like that.”
“... Yeah?”
Mel nodded. “Mhm. Out of all the nicknames you’ve tried, I think I like that one best.”
Trinity melted a little, leaning down and kissing Mel’s forehead again. “Got it, babe.”
Mel giggled. “You can’t call me that at work, though. You have to call me Mel or Dr. King.”
“Whatever you say, Dr. King,” Trinity agreed easily. Getting to call Mel babe at all was enough for her.
“‘Whatever you say, babe’,” Mel corrected. “I’m not work-Mel right now. I’m at-Trinity’s-apartment-Mel, and that Mel gets called babe, thank you very much.”
Trinity threw her head back and laughed, giddiness and excitement bubbling up in her. She pressed one last kiss to Mel’s forehead before she climbed out of bed, ready to start the day with — if Trinity was reading this right — her soon-to-be girlfriend.
“Whatever you say, babe. Literally whatever you say.”