Chapter Text
Grian walked into his base, absolutely done. Who wouldn't be? The day had been a disaster.
Not even mentioning the fact a stupid rabbit had scared the crap out of him, his day had gone horribly! First, he had some business to attend to with Ren and Doc, which ended up being not at all pleasant. Then he was with Scar, which usually made his sour mood dissipate, but unfortunately, the hang out was cut short due to the fact someone (who wasn't Grian... This time) had stolen some of Scars stuff, to which Scar promptly, and with good reason, accused him of doing.
On top of that, Mumbo was busy, and then Cleo had the audacity to take some of Grians diamonds. Joel was not at all in a good mood, snapping at Grian the moment he recovered from the brief scare Grian pulled as a prank. That hurt a bit more than he wish to admit.
Once he started building a bit later on, he died to a creeper, not once, but twice! The "lol"'s and "oof"'s in chat were absolutely humiliating.
Of course, Grian wasn't "weak." This wasn't all that happened, but really it was all that he was willing to admit happened.
In reality, the day started with a nightmare. See, none of them ever play out the same. They were all... Different. Always with inconsistencies. This time, though, it may have been the most accurate.
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Taurtis dying in his arms. It felt so real. Grian could almost feel his lungs aching from the pleas, almost feel the blood trickling down his hands. Then, he heard it.
"Gree-on~.."
Sam. Sam, that fucking bastard. Of course, Sam hadn't been there when Taurtis died. Taurtis died in Evo. Not Yandere High. Even though he was close...
In the nightmare, he could just feel Taurtis tense up. He could feel it. "Oh, Gree-on, Taurtis~" Sam kept saying in his stupid sing-song voice. Grian held Taurtis closer unconsciously. Then, Sam's presence faded into that of the Watchers. Or, well, one of them. A quiet whisper of a warning playing at their lips. "Don't forget, Watchling... You belong to the Void now." That part didn't happen either.
Pearls voice echoed into his ear next, yelling something she'd never say, or at least... Not aloud, Grian thinks. "It's your fault! Why couldn't you have been stronger?! Smarter?! Not entirely useless for ONCE in your stupid life!?" And he visibly flinches. He hugs Taurtis, and then the third presence fades altogether.
"Grian..." Taurtis whispered, "Grian, please... I... I can't." He said, a little louder this time. Despite living this moment so many times over, his heart stopped. "No, no, please, Taurtis--" He was cut off by a soft kiss on his forehead. "Please... Stop being... So.. Useless." He murmured before going slack.
Grian stayed still for a second, hearing the words echo in his head.
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Grian knew it was stupid to listen to a dumb nightmare. But he couldn't help it. His thoughts were the seeds, the nightmare was the water. The doubt and self loathing grew into a great tree of blame, pity, and hurting.
Dragging his feet across the floor, he made it to his bedroom. He didn't bother getting changed, he just layed down on his bed, curling up into a heap on the mattress.
He might have stayed there for hours or maybe days?.. Whatever the case, he found it awfully hard to get back up again. A picture of him, Taurtis, Jimmy, Martyn, and Pearl staring back at him, taunting him. He was ruffling Jimmy's hair as the boy protested, trying to bat his hand away. Taurtis was laughing, a hand around Grians waist. Martyn was laughing hysterically at the pissed look on Jimmy's face, and Pearl was laughing just as hard as him.
Salem had taken the picture, and Netty had been walking with B over to where they had been, Tom following closely. Zee and Mini we're a few feet away, arguing over... Something. He can't remember about what now.
That's how it should've stayed. All 11 of them, happy and together. Or, at least, semi together. He felt tears prickle his eyes. Great...
Time became a concept for a minute. Or... Maybe less. Time was already a concept depending who you asked, but for a while, Grian just... Was. He was in this state of being where he wasn't alive but he wasn't dead. After all, he was a player. Players exceeded most mortal rules, like death. They just respawned. Unless in a perma-death server, of course. He was also an admin, significantly stronger than players. So, he knew he wasn't dead. But he wasn'talive either.
The only sign of time passing was his communicator buzzing. It had still been in his pocket when he layed down and he hadn't bothered to take it out. Now, though, he decides to read through his missed texts.
4 days ago.
<GoodTimeWithScar> G man?? Sorry about earlier, we can totally hang out now! Please don't be mad at me. I made you cookies! :3
2 days ago.
<GoodTimeWithScar> G??? Are you mad? It's totally okay if you are! Just please respond.
1 day ago.
<GoodTimeWithScar> Hey I'm getting really worried here, G. Please. I know you're mad but I'd prefer it of you yelled at me at this point!
Grian debated responding, hating seeing how hurt Scar was, and knowing the others probably texted as well. Then, he vaguely remember there was a Hermitcraft meeting sometime soon. Oh well, not like anything was really new or strange about him missing it. It happened almost every other meeting. Instead of responding, he put his communicator away.