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Jimmy was nervous. It had been a while since he'd appeared in public with Stephen, and their friends were going to be right next to him. He only hoped he could keep his composure around the man he loved.
The seating arrangement had been decided by Stephen and his team, and while his fellow Jimmy, or Kim as he liked to call him, has mentioned he was going to complain on air about having been seated the furthest from their host, the warm-smiled Stephen, Jimmy found himself right next to the man who occupied his every thought.
On stage, Stephen was amiably chatting with the band, and the crowd was going wild for him.
Backstage, the roar of the crowd was an indistinguishable buzz. Jimmy was joking around with Seth, John, and Kim, but his hands were drenched in sweat and his heart felt like it was going to come leaping out of his chest.
He had seen Stephen at rehearsal, but the other men were used to the dynamics between Stephen and Jimmy. They knew that Stephen liked to tease Jimmy, and that Jimmy always became flustered around him. Tonight would be different, tonight he was appearing on live television, on one of Stephen's last shows, with four other rather popular men. If he lost his composure even for a second, there would be cameras there to record every second of it.
He tried to calm his mind by thinking of other things. He glanced around him and wondered idly why five of the most successful TV hosts, six if you counted Jon Stewart, were all white men. Surely they were no more qualified than anyone else? But, recalling the amount of hatred his beloved Stephen, as well as Kim, and to a lesser extent, the remaining three had all received; he shuddered. He pictured the person sitting at Stephen's desk, the person who never left his thoughts for an instance, being anything other than a cis, sadly-straight white man and he could already see the headlines. Stephanie Colbert, murdered by a large crowd of fervent right winged rioters, or Radical Group Found Outside of Late Night Host's House, No Sign of Colbert.
John pushed him forwards gently and Jimmy jolted out of his thoughts. Seth was giving him a worried look, it was unlike him to miss his cue, but Jimmy just forced a smile onto his face and headed out on stage.
Most of the interview was a blur, Jimmy was participating some, and of course his friends were hilarious so when he wasn't talking he was wheezing with laughter, but he was constantly aware of Stephen's presence near him. Stephen himself didn't help matters when he reached out to pat Jimmy's arm at one point because he was laughing so hard he'd run out of air.
Kim said something that Jimmy completely missed, because Stephen's reaction to whatever had been said was to climb up on his desk and lean over Jimmy. The sounds of the crowd faded and Jimmy couldn't hear a word anyone said. Stephen was right above him, closer than he'd been the entire show, his cologne filled Jimmy's nose and he breathed it in desperately, like a starving animal wolfing down its first meal in weeks. Stephen slipped slightly, but the man's confidence was unshakeable. At first, Jimmy hoped that Stephen wouldn't slip, because he wanted his love to be safe, but then he realized that if Stephen slipped off his desk, he would land in Jimmy's lap, and suddenly Jimmy found himself hoping Stephen would slip.
All too soon, Stephen was sitting normally in his chair again. Things continued as scheduled, and then Stephen handed them paddles with faces on them.
Kim asked if it was so that they could hit each other, and Jimmy had a sudden very strong mental image of Stephen bending him over his knee and paddling his backside until it was raw. He shook himself from the shamefully hot visuals and accepted the paddles Stephen handed him.
Stephen explained that his writers had come up with questions that the group would have to answer based on who was most likely to do whatever it was said in the question.
Jimmy quickly fell into the trance of the game, and was wholly unprepared when Stephen asked, "Who would be most likely to make out with a guest on camera?"
He was flipping through the paddles when his brain caught up to the question. Stephen was the host here, he had chosen the seating arrangement, and Jimmy was a guest to the show. Surely it couldn't be...
He held up the paddle he'd been looking for, not even sure who he'd chosen anymore. His heart was hammering against his rib cage.
A quick glance to his left told him that Stephen was holding up the paddle with his own face on it. It couldn't be.
The sounds of the crowd faded again, Stephen was saying something, and then reaching for him. He paused a second, making sure Jimmy didn't mind, and then Stephen leaned in and kissed him.
It was only a brief kiss, not a full on makeout session, but it felt like an eternity to Jimmy.
When Stephen pulled away, the place he had been got filled with the returning noises of the crowd. Jimmy was suddenly painfully aware of how many people had just seen Stephen kiss him, painfully aware of the cameras, of the bright lights blinding him if he looked at the crowd too long. Everything sounded far away, almost underwater. He heard his own voice, his body functioning on autopilot, he was telling everyone about someone else he had made out with on camera, for a sketch.
Even though [other guy] had gone full tongue, his brief kiss with Stephen felt much more intimate, much more meaningful.
The conversation shifted, and he stayed quiet. Without thinking, he brought a hand up to his mouth, savoring the lingering feeling of Stephen against his lips.
As he started focusing on his surroundings again, Jimmy caught a glance Stephen gave him, a glance that said "I am not done with you."
As much as he genuinely enjoyed doing the podcast with his friends - when he didn't have too many technical difficulties - he knew he would not be at all concentrated, he just hoped it wouldn't be too obvious.
When the show was over, and Stephen joined them backstage for a moment, Jimmy felt a hand slip into his for the briefest of moments and then Stephen was halfway across the room. He glanced down at his hand to find a small piece of paper with a hastily scrawled note, in what he recognized immediately as Stephen's handwriting.
"Meet me tonight. You know where. Right after the podcast."
Jimmy closed his fist around the note as soon as he read it, then casually slipped his hand into his pocket to hide the note from Seth, John and Kim.
Later that evening, when he was curled up against Stephen's bare chest, Jimmy pushed himself up onto his elbows and looked at Stephen with a pout.
"What's wrong baby?" Stephen asked, pulling him back down into his arms.
"You teased me all evening, I couldn't concentrate on anything, and there was nothing I could do about it. If the podcast sucks-"
Stephen shushed him with a finger to his lips.
"You did great baby, you were so hot, all flustered on live television, it took all my willpower not to jump over my desk and pound you into that couch. And besides, if the podcast sucks nearly as well as you do, then I don't think we have anything to worry about."
Jimmy turned pink and tried to hide his face, but Stephen grabbed his wrists with one hand and used the other to tilt Jimmy's chin up.
"Don't hide, you look absolutely incredible like this. I'd have never imagined one day I would get you stark naked in my bed, your red lips flush around me, never thought I'd get to hear your desperate cries as you come, your breath hitching when I kiss your neck, never thought I'd get to be inside you one day."
"I lov-" Jimmy started to mumble, but then he hesitated. Surely he would just make a fool of himself-
"I love you baby," Stephen said, resting his face in the crook of Jimmy's neck. "I love you, I love you, I love you," he said, punctuating his words with kisses.
"Love you too," Jimmy managed, before words failed him entirely. He hugged Stephen tight. He had finally gotten to be with the man he loved. In that room, while they were together, all was right in the world.