Chapter Text
It was a normal Friday night, and William was sitting on the bed in Jeremie’s room, as usual. It had been several weeks since he had agreed to “stick around,” and they did stick together most days.
William was sitting with his back against the wall while reading a textbook for class. The sound of Jeremie typing at his desk always helped him focus. The constant reminder that Jeremie was there was enough to help him feel relaxed.
Jeremie’s typing slowed and he stretched in his chair while turning to the boy on his bed.
William looked over with a grin. “You’ve finally learned to take breaks. I’m so proud.”
Jeremie smiled back. “I guess you’re a good influence on me.”
“That’s funny. I’ve always been told I’m a bad influence.”
Jeremie pretended to consider, “Well, you do slack off sometimes.”
William patted the bed beside him. “Is that so? Come slack off with me then.”
Jeremie walked over and sat next to him. William set the textbook aside and wrapped an arm around his shoulders to pull him close. Jeremie leaned against him, just like usual. They had become so close over the last few weeks.
William brushed his free hand through Jeremie’s hair. “So, how is the reigning robotics champ feeling after that win this week? I told you Kiwi 2 was a monster.”
Jeremie snuggled closer into William's side and replied happily, “I feel great! You should have seen the look on Herve’s face!”
William made an amused snort. “I did, silly. I was right behind you!”
Jeremie laughed. “I know. Thanks for hanging out with me while I worked on Kiwi 2.”
“Of course. You’re really attractive when you’re focused, you know.”
Jeremie stammered nervously as William leaned closer to his face. He pouted, “Stop teasing me.”
William didn’t back up right away. “Still not used to me flirting with you?”
Jeremie didn’t back away either. He didn’t really mind William being so close, but it made his heart beat faster and his face felt warm.
When Jeremie didn’t answer, William moved just slightly closer to see how he would react.
Jeremie pushed him away but was fighting to hide a grin. “I said to stop!”
William backed away laughing. “Ok, fine. I’m always here if you want a kiss though!”
Jeremie started, “I don’t want a-” but then stopped. Did he? William watched with an amused grin as Jeremie’s face turned redder.
“What were you saying?” he teased.
Jeremie grumbled incoherently under his breath. He didn’t know why he was so nervous. They had kissed several times already. But just the thought of kissing William made his heart race.
William recognized the look on Jeremie’s face that meant he was trapped in his head. “Hey, it’s fine. Don’t overthink it. I’ll give you some space.”
Jeremie’s brain caught up as William was packing his textbook in his backpack. He asked blankly, “You’re leaving?”
William finished zipping the backpack and slung it over his shoulder. “Yep, it’s getting late. Promise me you’ll go to sleep instead of working?”
Jeremie nodded slowly. “Promise. But before you go…” William waited as he continued, “I do kind of want…” Still waiting. Jeremie finished in a softer voice, “a kiss.”
William set down the backpack and walked over to Jeremie. He leaned down slightly as Jeremie stood on his tip-toes. As William placed a hand on Jeremie’s cheek, their lips met and Jeremie felt a flutter in his chest. He pulled William’s shirt to keep him close so the kiss could linger. Nothing else mattered in that moment. Every kiss was just as exciting as their first one.
They separated and William ran a hand through Jeremie’s hair. “Good night.”
“Good night, William.”
William picked up his backpack and walked to the door, waving goodbye as he stepped into the hallway.
A few minutes later, he entered his room and placed the backpack in his desk chair. He hummed to himself as he started changing into his pajamas. He was so happy lately. Spending time with Jeremie made him feel calm and safe.
But as William was pulling his sleep shirt over his head, he felt a familiar nagging anxiety. He felt weak and stumbled to sit on the bed. “I thought I was past this,” he grunted as his eyes glazed and the panic took over.
William sat on the bed and felt the same familiar anxiety from when he first returned to Earth. He had felt like XANA could take over again at any minute.
“It’s over. XANA’s gone.” This was the same phrase he always repeated to himself when this happened, but it didn’t stop the flashbacks from flooding his mind.
He was fully trapped in the visions. He relived the moment XANA took control. The pain and helplessness. Being totally unable to break through, watching in horror as he attacked his friends.
William gritted his teeth and forced his eyes to focus. He scanned the room. “Desk. Chair.” He grunted. “Guitar. Lamp.” He started feeling more grounded, but it wasn’t for long. He sunk back into his thoughts, watching XANA’s actions using his body. The panicked look on Aelita’s face whenever he approached. Ulrich and Odd fighting against him with all their might. William felt XANA’s rage coursing through him. And Yumi... His heart sank as he remembered the way she looked at him, like fighting against him was breaking her heart.
XANA knew how William felt about Yumi. XANA had been through his entire mind; there were no parts of him that he could keep safe. William began to shake as he was forced to relive the moment when Yumi thought he had been freed. He had been screaming for her to stay away, desperately telling her it was a trap, but, as always, they could never hear him. The look of hurt and disappointment on her face was devastating. She really cared about him and he couldn’t stop XANA from using his body to hurt her. Tears slowly rolled from his eyes.
William clenched his fists. He wanted to scream but his voice wouldn’t work. The shaking slowed and he slumped over on his side and laid on the bed. He groaned to himself. No wonder they were scared of me when I came back. He curled into a ball and tried to slow his thoughts. He was so exhausted. The worst of the panic was over, but he felt so numb.
I’m scared of me, too, he admitted. What if I’m not safe to be around? He sighed tiredly. Although he was back now, he felt so contaminated. Damaged. He was in XANA’s possession for so long. His body wasn’t his own and still felt foreign to him. XANA had infiltrated every part of his mind and he was always afraid that XANA had left a mark there in order to take control again someday. “Jeremie said that’s not possible,” he affirmed out loud. Somehow, evoking Jeremie’s name made it feel true.
But William still couldn’t shake the fear. He quietly whispered, “What if it happens again...?” before his vision dimmed and he fell back on his pillow, losing consciousness.